Blazing Frost
by SugarPesticide
Summary: Setting out from Pallet Town, Leaf never would have guessed that the Apocalypse was drawing near. She and her fellow questers will have to learn to cope with their pasts, their insecurities, their bloodthirsty enemies - and each other. And that Pokedex!
1. Start Your Engines

It seems like all of us end up writing a journey fic at some point, don't we? Well, whether we do or not, this one's mine. It's the first decent fic I've ever written; it was first posted on SPPf way back in March 2008. Unlike some other people, I'm actually planning on finishing this (le gasp!). As it is, I already have 22 chapters written, though I'll probably end up splitting some of the longer ones before putting them here. Unless you _want_ to have chapters as long the infamous chapter 17, which was 55 pages. =P

The earlier ones are noobishly ugly, though, so I'm not going to add them until I'm done revamping them. What with summer, I should get that bit done relatively quickly. :D

The genre listed on the description, plain old "Adventure", is actually not the sole genre into which this story falls. It runs almost the entire spectrum, including drama, humor, horror, parody, family, friendship, fantasy, supernatural, angst, hurt/comfort, romance ... but through it all, the adventure continues. Thus, adventure is the main course in this smorgasbord, but it's got a fun collection of flavors too. ^_^

*Disclaimer*: I do not own Pokemon. Well, duh; this is a _fan_ fiction. And really, why would I want to own the company that created something as butt-ugly as Magmortar? No thanks.  
There are a few Fakemon appearing here, however, which I _do_ claim as my own creations. In case you were wondering, they aren't part of any project or fake game; rather, they're the products of me thinking, "Hey, _this_ would make a fun Pokemon concept!" and incorporating it into the Pokemon universe. Knowing fully well that the chances of anyone wanting to use them are roughly nil, I'd still like to ask anyone who wants to use these fakes to get my permission first, please and thanks.

Rated T for language, bloodshed, gore, crude humor, drug references, thematic elements, and some suggestive content.

* * *

Chapter One: Start Your Engines (Pokemon, I Choose Who? Events Set in Motion!)

This is fate: something strange and warped, dealing kindness one moment, cruelty the next, forcing complete strangers to face one another in conflict which, in some other branch of time, may never have existed ...

"_Come … you cannot resist my power …"_

Conflicts in which only one contender can walk out alive.

"_I'll never follow you! I'll die first if that's what it takes!"_

But what _is_ fate? The desire to prove oneself, to show society one's true potential? The power, the motivation, the innate drive to shape the world for better or worse? Or, perhaps, some combination of arcane factors no mere mortal can understand, in spite of their quests for self-knowledge: Their inner search spanning from the moment they first open their eyes to a new world of light, to the final flutter as they slip into the void ... though in the end, some things are better left undiscovered ...

"_Very well, if that's what you wish …"_

Unrevealed ...

_He screamed._

Buried forever.

_Darkness. Pain gripped him — horrific pain, physical as well as spiritual. The young man's head jerked back as blood spurted from the wound, the creature's scythes slicing easily through soft flesh as they punctured his chest, stabbing his heart ... his soul burned, twisting as the evil one's own self leapt—_

The irony is, of course, that events never merely _begin_ — there is always something which happened before. Credit it to fate's circular nature. A story never truly begins, and to find the exact point from which to begin a tale such as this — a tale which fate had a greater hand in than usual — would be a pointless exercise.

Then again, one has to start somewhere...

* * *

"Oh shut the hell UP!" she moaned, reaching up to beat the alarm clock until she finally managed to hit the snooze button, silencing its annoying whine. She squinted from the sunlight streaming from the window as she slowly sat up in bed, glancing at the clock, which read eleven AM. Today … what was today? It was important, she knew, but how? She frowned, trying to solve the mystery. _Dentist appointment? No. I always dream about Beedrill before one of those. School starts? Now I'm being stupid. Or maybe—_

"Oh, dear Arceus!" she shrieked, leaping out of bed before throwing on the clothes she had carefully selected the night before: a pale blue sleeveless shirt to complement a red miniskirt and her trusty yellow handbag. It was a smart choice for an outfit: cute, but surprisingly durable enough for long, hard travel. She turned to the mirror hanging on her door, scowling in frustration at the sight of her frazzled brown hair.

_This is what you get for watching so many late-night reruns of_ Suicune Safari_, you know,_ her conscience remarked. Naturally it was right, a fact which bothered her even more as she hastily brushed her hair straight, or at least as straight as three seconds' brushing would allow.

She noisily bolted down the stairs five at a time, often tripping, her long hair trailing behind her as if she were some sort of comet. Her mother, reading through some sort of file on her personal computer, glanced up at the noise. "Leaf? Honey, eat breakfast before you go—"

"SorrymombutIcantstickaround," Leaf called over her shoulder before dashing out the front door, leaving it wide open.

"… She _does_ know she's not going to actually leave until tomorrow, right?" she asked a vaguely humanoid Pokemon as it shuffled down the hallway to close the door.

The Pokemon shrugged its furry yellow shoulders. "Lec," it guessed, not sounding very optimistic.

The mother sighed. "Oh, Leaf," she sighed, returning her gaze to the picture onscreen.

_Somewhere, in a place cloaked in darkness, shadowy figures watched the scene flash before them in comparatively blinding light. "There," one murmured in satisfaction, gesturing his equine head toward the running figure of the girl. "That's the one."_

_A second being, this one of avian shape, cawed in annoyance. "Oh, bloody hell. _Another_ chosen one? How many can the world possibly need? This is retarded. You know what? This is about the thousandth time you've done this sort of thing. What do you think this is, an RPG?"_

"_It's an amusing Game, Fystor." The third figure, a feline being, twitched her tail in spite of the calmness lacing her voice. "And amusing things are supposed to amuse, are they not? I do love this opening, anyhow. Watching them scramble into their destinies. I find it very … amusing."_

"_It's not amusing if it happens for the billionth freaking time." Fystor clacked her beak impatiently._

"_Hey, chill," the equine said soothingly. "It's necessary. She wouldn't get the right partner if she managed to get there on time."_

"_Keep telling yourself that."_

"_Events will take an interesting turn," the feline purred. "It will be necessary for the good of the world that certain things happen."_

"_Pfft." Fystor shifted uncomfortably. "You say that every time …"_

Pallet Town: an average town which had a habit of turning out some of the greatest trainers in Kanto. Normally, someone observing from above would see a motley collection of houses, stores, and the famous lab. However, on this particular morning, the view was blocked by a small cloud of dust rising from the midst of the town, kicked up by a girl eager to leave this place. Leaf sprinted down the long, dirty road, panting heavily. She knew she had to get there first, since she was _not_ going to be _stuck_ with a starter; she hated it when she didn't have a choice.

"Aw, crap!" she snarled as she neared Professor Oak's lab, a pristine white building situated on the edge of Pallet. The famous building was well known as one of the top researching facilities in Kanto, which had always seemed somewhat ironic to Leaf – Pallet Town was about as secluded as a Kantoan town could get, and few visitors deemed it worthy of visit, aside of course from the frequent hopefuls seeking to begin their journey's with the rare reptilian Kanto starters. She remembered the Pokemon from a pamphlet she'd picked up when she'd gone down to sign up for the chance to receive one: Bulbasaur, a freckled blue toad that seemed rather ugly in her opinion; Charmander, a lizard doubling as a living fire hazard; and Squirtle, a turtle whose shiny blue skin made her think of slimy things lurking in a pond.

What had drawn her displeasure at this moment, however, was the sight of the front door flung wide open, which could only mean one thing: at least one of the boys had gotten there first. Her options were going to be drastically cut. _Damn!_

Sourly she gritted her teeth as she raced into the building, skidding to a stop in the relative coolness before three surprised people. One was Professor Oak, of course, who was emerging from a back room. He glanced up at her in bemusement from the tray in his hands, whose contents were concealed by a cover. The sun-darkened skin around his eyes crinkled in a familiar smile, speaking of a liveliness both confirmed and spited by the mop of untidy gray hair nestled on his head.

Fire, the second, was a tall brown-haired boy who was moodily staring at nothing, leaning against a wall in spite of the musty furniture scattered about the fairly large room. His arms were crossed, the short black sleeves of his sharp-looking red shirt covering his chest. The bored look in his storm-gray eyes suggested to Leaf that he'd arrived first.

Last but not least was Ocean, a dirty blond, spiky-haired teen who wore a dark gray shirt and, oddly, vivid purple jeans. At another time, Leaf might have wondered where he bought his clothes, but at this point she was too irritated to care, and scowled slightly in defeat as he beamed and waved at her. He glanced sideways at Fire, rolling his eyes at the other boy's apathy; the three young teens had been friends for years, which wasn't something unexpected in such a small town, but Fire had been growing distant lately, annoying both of the other two. But Leaf couldn't share Ocean's exasperation at this moment: they had all been players in an unspoken competition, and now, here in the lab, she was forced to face her loss in it.

"Hello, Leaf," the Professor said cheerfully, his white lab coat billowing slightly as he approached. They knew each other fairly well already, due to him conveniently being Ocean's grandfather and therefore giving her an advantage when the time came to sign up. Whoever said scientists never play favorites was a liar.

"Eh, whatever," Leaf muttered, turning to leave. A sour taste formed in her mouth as she thought of the opportunities she was leaving behind. "Since I'm last, I'll just wait 'til next month. You know how I feel about being stuck with something."

"What? Leaf, this month I'm giving out _four_ starter Pokemon," Oak said.

Leaf halted suddenly and swiveled around. "Say what?"

"Another young person arrived in town a couple of days ago, and he badly wants to on a journey," the Professor explained, placing the tray on a nearby table; removing the cover from it, he revealed four shining, pristine Poke Balls, their red and white halves contrasting each other. "Since he turned thirteen recently, I decided to make an exception and let out four new trainers instead of three: he had a rather convincing argument for it. And he's not here yet, so …"

Leaf grinned broadly, the blackness vanishing from her mood at once. "Well, in that case, I'm game for getting a Pokemon now," she said merrily, retracing her steps and joining the two boys as they gathered around the table. _No way will I get stuck here now!_ she rejoiced silently.

"Eh … that's good." He sweatdropped at her sudden mood swing. "Fire, since you arrived here earliest, you get first choice."

"I'll take Squirtle," the serious-looking boy said in his cool, collected voice. With a nod, Oak grabbed a Poke Ball from the tray. Fire gazed at the sphere in the man's hand for a moment, then accepted it, a steely glint flashing in his eye. He wasted no time in letting his new Pokemon out: a toss of the ball and a flash of neon light later, a small bipedal turtle materialized on the floor. Blue skin gleamed in the daylight streaming from the high windows, its color broken only by the tough brown shell and the cream-colored, plated torso. With bright scarlet eyes she looked up and smiled broadly at her new trainer, who did not return her friendly wave. Instead, he pulled his red cap slightly lower over his face, scowling as he looked away.

"Looks like she's taken a shine to you," Oak said happily, pretending not to notice Fire's reaction as Squirtle's large head and curly tail drooped in disappointment. "Alright, Ocean, your turn to pick."

"Well, it's not a difficult decision," his grandson said eagerly, running a hand through his spiky hair. "I'm not about to let Hothead here beat me with his Squirtle, so I choose Bulbasaur!" He grinned cheekily at the other boy as he recalled the Squirtle.

"…'Hothead'? What kind of a crack was that?" Fire growled, placing Squirtle's Poke Ball on his belt. "Bubblebrain."

"I _beg_ your pardon, Firebrand?"

"Shut it, you Waterlogged Wonder."

"Cinderella!"

"Mister Mermaid!"

"Now, boys, settle down," Oak said hastily. "There will be no catfights in my lab. Ocean, here's your Bulbasaur."

"Thanks, Gramps!" Ocean said, gleefully grabbing the offered sphere and unleashing the beam of red light. In a flash, a squat turquoise toad-like creature materialized before him, his hide dotted with a dark jade. His back boasted a verdant green bulb, which opened slightly as the sun's rays fell upon it. Like Squirtle, his eyes, large and red, blinked up at the human. "You wanna come with me, pal?"

"Bulba," the Pokemon agreed, nodding lazily and waddling over to his new trainer's feet, plopping down into a snoozing position with a soft thud.

"Oof! Gosh, you're strong! Or maybe just heavy, but that might not be a bad thing, for you. Hmm … I'll call you Hideki."

"Good choice for a name," the Professor remarked as he glanced at Hideki, whose eyes were fluttering sleepily. "Especially since it doesn't incorporate 'bulb' or 'saur' in any way. Okay, Leaf, it's your turn. Do you want Charmander, or Pichu?"

The sound of the latter triggered a sneer; her choice was made for her. "Professor, you know me better than to ask."

"Good point. You despise Pikachu, don't you? Here …" He handed her one of the remaining Poke Balls.

Her heart thudded in anticipation as she accepted it. _Something's beginning,_ she realized, gazing at it for a moment in wonder. _Right here, right now …_ Reveling in the realization, she took a deep breath before releasing her new Pokemon, hoping it wouldn't explode with flame as soon as it set foot on the lab's shabby rug. A beam of light brought forth another bipedal Pokemon, this one a soft orange with a pale underbelly. The claws on his feet dug slightly into the rug as he glanced around, puzzled, before he realized where he was. Squinting from the sudden light, he looked up at his new trainer.

She returned his large-eyed gaze with a smile. _He's a lot cuter than the pamphlet made the Charmander look,_ she realized, watching the small lizard's open, trusting face. "Hey, buddy. Do you want to travel around with me?"

Charmander thought for a moment before wagging his fiery tail, grinning shyly.

_Great. A shy Charmander. Exactly what I want_, she thought, sarcasm staining her happiness. She pushed the thought out of her head and smiled again, picking her starter up and placing him onto her shoulder.

"Let me get two things straight," she said, in a gentle but firm voice. "First, no digging into my shoulder suddenly. That would _hurt_." She winced, imagining his claws tearing involuntarily into her collar. "And second, keep your tail far, _far_ away from my hair, or I will be very, _very_ angry. And you do _not_ want to see me when I'm angry."

The Pokemon nodded cautiously, taking care that he was waving his tail as far as possible from the rest of his body.

"Excellent," Leaf said, scratching underneath Charmander's chin; he purred contentedly in response.

A sudden pattering of small footsteps gained their attention. Turning toward the front door, everyone was just in time to see an unfamiliar boy jog in through the front door. Although he was thirteen, he was noticeably shorter than any of his peers. The bright sunlight shining through the door made his light blond hair and white hoodie seem to glow.

"Sorry I'm late, Professor," he panted, wiping his sweaty hands on his baggy shorts as he joined the group, cringing for some reason. "Which starter's left?"

"Hello, Lightning, I was wondering where you were. Well, there's a—"

"Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

"What—?"

The remaining Poke Ball in Oak's tray burst open, sending a tiny, yellow mouse Pokemon flying through the air before attaching herself to Lightning's head, baring her teeth in a grin. Blue sparks of electricity flew from her short fur.

"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGHH! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETIT_OFF_!" Lightning screamed, wildly running around the lab like a headless chicken. The Pichu giggled despite hanging onto Lightning's head for dear life; her black-edged triangular ears and short tail flew behind her with the boy's jerky movements.

"She's a bit feisty," Oak called after Lightning, as if the boy were at a fancy dinner party instead of being attacked by an overly affectionate baby mouse. "But she's really quite sweet if you can train her up right. Of course, no one's stuck around long enough to actually do that, so you'll have to go on faith … do you want her?"

"ANYTHING! ANYTHING AT ALL! I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST GET IT OFF ME!"

"As if he had a choice," Fire sneered, folding his pale arms in a rather superior way. "We took all the good starters. 'Lightning', indeed. Like you could guess from how late he got here."

"Shut it, Fire," Ocean cut in, making an annoyed face. "You shouldn't talk, anyway. You got the first choice."

Rolling his eyes, Fire haughtily stuck out a foot, tripping Lightning and sending him flying across the air before smashing into the wall. Groaning, the blonde pulled himself back into an upright position, holding his head and looking rather dazed. "Ow," he muttered, warily glancing at the Pichu, who had miraculously avoided getting injured herself; she was now attempting to look innocent and failing miserably.

"Now that we've got _that_ out of the way," Oak continued airily, as the boy wiped the sweat from his brow while the mouse giggled again, "let me give you a couple of things. Here's five more Poke Balls for each of you – there we go—" With a flourish, he pulled several of the familiar spheres from his pockets, tossing them to the newbie trainers, who hastily scrambled to catch them. Beaming at the bemused looks on their faces, he then brought forth four identical orange contraptions, small enough to fit in a shirt pocket … assuming, of course, that the shirt belonged to a hillbilly with little common sense and no fashion sense; it's incredible how baggy their clothing can be. "—And here are your Pokedexes. Okay, now scat! We can't have wild mice around here! Shoo!"

"Thanks, Prof!" Leaf grinned as she placed the Balls on her belt, before heading back for the door and the world beyond; Ocean and Lightning soon followed her example. Fire rolled his eyes in contempt before following them, leaving Oak waving after them, alone with his work once more.

_Fystor turned away from the scene, rolling her eyes. "Okay, so they're all buddies, blah blah blah. Nothing particularly special."_

"_It fell into place perfectly," the feline purred. "Fortune and misfortune are set up for them."_

"_The short kid's an added bonus to the whole deal, if you know what I mean." The equine craned his neck to get a better view. "Even though he ended up with the mouse, which is unoriginal. But considering the two, they should add to the fun. And we've planned for some other people to meet up with them later – the thing about crashes is, you've got to time them perfectly if you want the maximum boom."_

"… _Maximum boom," Fystor repeated tonelessly._

"_Yeah."_

"_You two honestly have nothing better to do than screw up mortals' lives?"_

"_It's what we do." He stuck his tongue out at her._

"_In any case, events will come to a head," the feline said. "And it's essential that the heroes are able to defeat him when he's getting stronger."_

_Fystor froze. "He who?"_

"_The biggest evil of all time," the equine replied, rolling his eyes. "Geez, Fystor. Who do you think? It's not like we're setting them up to defeat a president or something."_

"_Although, the latest American president has not been performing admirably," the feline commented thoughtfully. "Perhaps he should be pulled off of his pedestal, too."_

_Fystor was silent. Possibilities of the future blossomed in her mind, each more horrific than the next. She glanced at the other two, carefully keeping her emotions under control. "That's … news to me," she remarked finally. "Well, I'll just … go see how Mom's doing, I guess … behave yourselves while I'm gone, or else—"_

"_Or else what? You'll lecture us?" The equine snickered._

_She scowled at him. A blink later, she had abruptly dematerialized, fading swiftly into the air as if turning invisible._

_The equine looked at his companion. "You'd think she'd remember that fate effects _everyone,_" he said, smirking. "I love how she's going to set up everyone's destinies and doesn't even know it. Irony is fun, isn't it, sis?"_

_She nodded. "Indeed. I can't imagine why she would think otherwise …"_

* * *

(Yes, I know this looks like the generic noob trainer story we all know and hate. Believe me, it will start to deviate from the games' plot soon enough. This chapter is vastly improved from the original, in which the opening sequence was two italicized lines that didn't serve any purpose besides looking "cool". The bits with Fystor are also new, and I think they help tie into the later chapters nicely.)

Chapter 2's revampage is close to being done, so it should be up fairly soon. ^_^;


	2. Sweet Home Pallet

Extremely happy today because it was my last day of high school EVAR. =DDDD So I'm posting this early in celebration. You guys are lucky: SPPf won't get this until the other early chapters are redone. Don't want to confuse new readers _too_ badly, now, do we ...

* * *

Chapter Two: Sweet Home Pallet (Destinies Are Laid Before Them! Talking Pokedex?)

The new trainers made their way past a tall, grassy hill overlooking a fenced area adjacent to the lab. They passed by the wide, green pasture, in which several Pokemon were feeding or playing, passing time until their trainers decided to bring them back onto their team. Lightning, tagging along behind the other three, didn't seem to notice that they were ignoring his feeble attempt at conversation.

"Um, so this is Pallet Town? It's nice here, I like all this greenery stuff. A lot more relaxed than the city; that place wasn't fun at all. _Yow!_"

A small purple rodent, who had been peering hungrily at him from within the pasture, stuck its head through a gap in the fence and chomped down on his hand. The others couldn't help but cringe in sympathy: those huge buckteeth packed a vicious bite.

"Piiii CHU!" the small yellow mouse cried out, glaring at the purple rat murderously. Stretching out a small paw, she unleashed a small bolt of crackling electricity at the Rattata; squeaking in pain, the rat released its hold on the boy's hand, quickly scampering off into the pasture.

"Ah," Lightning gasped, rubbing his hand. "Now _that _was more like the city. Definitely not what I needed. Thanks, Peach." He smiled tentatively at his Pichu, scratching behind her triangular black ears; the mouse giggled, licking the teeth marks softly.

Fire, who had been storming at the front of the group, threw an incredulous look over his shoulder. "What the hell? 'Peach'? What sort of nickname is that?"

"It's the only thing I could come up with," Lightning replied with a shrug. "I'm terrible at nicknames, so I don't think I could name any more Pokemon."

"Chuuu." Peach shook her head, patting his shoulder encouragingly.

They entered downtown Pallet, not really knowing where they were headed – the amazement hovering over all of them seemed to call for a return to normalcy, and nothing was quite as normal as a small, boring town. As they strolled down the sidewalk, passing numerous small structures with fading paint and chipped lettering, Leaf pointed mockingly at a large, austere-looking building looming across the road. "Ha! I don't have to be your slave anymore, you tyrants!" she yelled, thumbing her nose at it. "I'm going to be free as a bird!"

She stooped down next to her Charmander; the lizard-like Pokemon slapped her hand in a friendly high-five, smiling.

"Hell yeah!"

Frowning slightly in confusion, Lightning peered at the sign in front of the building, which declared it to be Pallet Middle School. Noticing his glance, Fire rolled his eyes in disdain. "Not really, Leaf. We have to come back in September."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Not to that hellhole, we won't. Ninth grade is at the high school, smart one."

"Oh? I was under the impression that you and Ocean would be honoring eighth grade with your presence for another year."

"Hilarious. Maybe you should become a comedian … at a haunted hotel, so you can BORE EVERYONE TO DEATH."

"Oh, forget that stuff," Ocean said airily; Hideki, carried in his owner's arms, yawned lazily. "It's summer! We have two and a half months to travel the world, and you're bickering about school?"

"School's probably going to be easier than journeying," Fire remarked dully, adjusting his cap slightly to keep the sunlight off of his face.

"What're you guys going to do on your journeys?" Lightning asked abruptly, jogging for a moment to keep up with the others.

Fire glared at him in a superior manner. "I'm heading for the title of Champion, _obviously_," he said in a superior manner, "and no gym is going to stand in my way. Even if I have to use this weakling." He glared at Squirtle's Poke Ball, which hung from his belt in its miniaturized state. "It's probably not even worth my time. I won't be surprised if I spend half my time trying to teach it what its shell is for."

"I'm pretty sure Squirtle's a 'she', not an 'it'," Leaf said; Charmander nodded in agreement, frowning in disapproval at the boy's attitude. "And why would you bother getting a Squirtle anyway? You already have Drowzee, you could've left ages ago."

"Squirtle can become very powerful, and Drowzee … is Drowzee," Fire said simply.

"Translation: it's too ugly to be your starter," Ocean said sensibly. "Anyway, I aim to capture every kind of Pokemon in existence, and be revered as the greatest Pokemon Collector in history!" He grinned in a cheesy manner, as if practicing for some future photo shot.

Lightning's eyes widened. "Even the legendaries?"

"_Especially_ the legendaries."

"Wow …" the blonde breathed. "I just want to be a Coordinator. If only I were as ambitious as you."

"Only wusses become Coordinators," Fire snarled.

"Fire, you're an oaf, so you shouldn't be talking." Ocean smirked, shifting the entirety of Hideki's weight to one arm so he could playfully smack the side of Fire's head with the other.

"Well, I think it's a good idea," Lightning remarked to a cursing Fire, with just a hint of what might be defiance. Turning to Leaf, he asked, "What about you? What're you in this for?"

Leaf frowned. Truth be told, she wasn't sure. Mostly she was excited to go out into the world, but that couldn't be all there was to it. After all, what was the point of heading into a potentially dangerous adventure if it didn't have a purpose?

"The gyms," she said finally. "I want to beat all of them. Maybe even the Elite Four, if I'm lucky."

"I guess we're rivals, then," Fire stated.

"Fire, you're such a douchebag," Ocean sighed. "Just because you're doing the same thing doesn't automatically make you rivals. For example, we all eat. Unless, of course, you happen to be a robotic menace, in which case it's possible that you're an exception. Now say I come over to your house one day and tell you that I also eat. 'Aha!' you say. 'Another rival! I've made so many rivals now that I can't keep track of them all!' So you end up pinning the number nine hundred and twenty-five to my shirt."

Everyone else sweatdropped.

"Right …" Fire rolled his eyes again. "Whatever you were saying … but really, I don't think Leaf would last long against me, anyway. Type advantage, and her Charmander sucks."

"Lies!" Leaf fumed protectively. "Listen to this!"

She pointed her Pokedex at the fire-type scampering beside her. To everyone's astonishment, it stated: _"Charmander, the Terrifilicious Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Shorty How You Like Me Now? Weight is Cheeseburger. Charmander are tenacious little buggers, and they will kill you in your sleep, no lie."_

Charmander blinked in confusion.

But Leaf's Pokedex wasn't done yet. _"Bulbasaur, the Snapper Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Idiot; weight is Kill Your Mom. Bulbasaur like sitting in the sun because they're far too lazy to do anything else."_

Then—

"_Squirtle, the Grenade Pokemon. Gender is Female. Height is Pathetic; weight is Walking Bundle of Blubber. These Pokemon have often been known to form gangs, so do not approach them or else they will sacrifice you to the supposed Dark God of All Things Turtle."_

And finally …

"_Pichu, the Rabid Pokemon. Gender is Female. Height is Insect; weight is It's A Pathetic Mouse, Damn It! Unlike popular culture claims, Pichu sucks at attacking. If it evolved by getting stronger, then there would be no Pikachu at all, thank Arceus."_

"…"

"_Oh yeah, there was that other one, right? Silly me. Rattata, the Rabies Pokemon. Gender was Male. Height was Horseface; weight was Barfbag. Rattata are notorious for being horny buggers: if there's one in one place at one day, then there'll be one in forty places at another day. No, wait, there'll be forty in_ one _place at another day. The first one would only happen if you were smart enough to cut it into forty peaces before it could breed, but you're not smart, so there are rats."_

There was a long, awkward moment of silence.

"_What?"_ the Pokedex asked rudely. _"I'm doing what you wanted me to do, ungrateful buggers. Don't stare at me like that or I'll shock you into permanent deletion. Thank you and have a nice day."_ With that, the device softly clicked off.

"That … is one weird Pokedex," Lightning commented.

"Bravo, Captain Obvious, I don't know what we'd do without your astute reasoning. For your stunning achievement in obviousness, I present you with the 'No, Duh! Award'." Saying such, Ocean tossed an imaginary object at Lightning, who instinctively cringed.

A sudden, shrill sound suddenly emanated some unseen source, startling everyone.

"Just a sec, I've got a ring!" Ocean exclaimed, grabbing his cell phone from his jeans pocket. He pressed a button, and the Professor's voice crackled from it.

"_Hello, Ocean, are the other three with you?"_

"Yeah, we're all here by McDonald's," the boy said, glancing up at the nearby grimy restaurant with the infamous golden arches. "Why?"

"_I forgot to tell you all earlier, but an extremely angry Tauros broke out of the lab a couple hours before you arrived. We couldn't catch it, and now it's running loose somewhere outside of town. I must ask a few things of you: first, don't leave until tomorrow, so you can train your Pokemon up a bit in case it attacks. Second, if you do run into it,_ don't try to catch it. _It's not only too dangerous to be handled by beginners, but it already has a trainer, so you'd end up looking foolish if you tried in any case. And third, the four of you will have to travel together until you at least reach Pewter City. Safety in numbers, after all."_

"_What_?" Fire shouted furiously, slamming his fist into a nearby wall. "I can't travel with these losers, they'll just bring me down!"

"—_And no complaints,"_ Oak added, sternness creeping into his voice at Fire's outburst. _"I'd suggest you begin training your starters. There's plenty of time to do that, and it might be necessary if you do run into the Tauros. Oh, and Leaf, your mom called. She wanted me to remind you that you weren't going to be leaving tomorrow, but since I just said it I don't really need to tell you that again, although it may or may not be nice to know anyway, I wouldn't know. Goodbye."_

With that, a faint click signaled the end of the call.

"… Oh yeah," Leaf said, feeling faintly stupid. She sighed; she had been getting so pumped for leaving right this minute …

"Well, this sucks," Fire snarled. "Starting my journey being stuck with you guys sounds like fun. Kind of like slicing off my fingers very slowly."

"Thanks for your kind and supporting words, Fire," Ocean said cheerfully, replacing his phone. He glanced away, grinning shiftily about something.

"Well, what're we going to do for the rest of the day?" Lightning asked, in an uncertain tone suggesting that he wasn't really expecting an answer.

Leaf sighed and looked out onto the pasture, blocking out the argument which now blossomed between the boys. Her travel companions … _Well, might as well get used to them, _she thought._ Besides, Pewter City's not that far. I hope._

In the far-off pasture – Pallet was small enough that the group could still see Oak's lab, barely clearly – a large pond reflected blinding light from the rising sun, scarring Leaf's eyes with dancing afterimages. Scampering alongside the edge of the pond were what looked like a Vulpix and Nidorina, playing a game of tag. The Nidorina, who was "it", scuttled after its friend in vain, as the fire-type zigzagged around it. Leaf imagined they were squealing in fun, but the great distance made it hard to tell.

_Is leaving the right thing to do?_ she suddenly wondered. For weeks she had eagerly anticipated this day, but now that it had actually come, doubt managed to seep through tiny cracks in her will. She blinked and shook it off, annoyed at her sudden slip in assurance. She encouraged herself mentally, pressing her lips together in determination. _I'm going on a journey,_ she told herself firmly, _and I won't wimp out and turn back. And that's final._

"Might as well take Charmander out for a while, like Oak suggested," she said aloud, not particularly caring if they heard. "C'mon, buddy, let's go," she told her adorable orange lizard, who eagerly leapt onto her shoulder, miraculously without scratching her. She started off, somewhat exasperated at the boys shrinking slowly into the distance behind her; they now seemed to be thoroughly wrapped up in an argument about whether drowning, burning, or getting electrocuted was the worst way to die.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Leaf and Charmander could be found on the soft, pale sands of Pallet Beach. Though neither exotic nor beautiful, it was a rather pretty spot, situated just outside of town. It was a place where Leaf could often go to get away from the slow, treacherous flow of everyday life.

In vain, the strong sunlight tried to penetrate the thick, leafy branches of trees overhead. Long, spiky shadows were cast over the entire beach, keeping the area cool and fresh, a welcome change from the heat waves brought by the summer. Looking out onto the vast, unending plain of water, Leaf could just barely make out a greenish dot on the horizon, marking the location of the distant Cinnabar Island. At the moment, she was sitting on a fallen log, watching her Charmander gaze out at the scenery as he idly scratched at the wood with a claw.

"You need a nickname," she said. At the sound of her words, he turned his gaze toward her, listening curiously. "Maybe a sneaky, deceptive one, so when I reach the Indigo Conference I brag about you, when you're a Charizard, except your name makes people think otherwise. It'll trick them into sending in a fighting- or steel-type. And then they will _lose_. Heh, heh. Let's see … how about 'Frosti'?"

With a small smile he nodded, his wagging tail sending sand flying everywhere.

"Frosti it is, then," she said, scratching his head. He purred contentedly, kicking his leg into the sand, making a soft thumping sound.

Suddenly a shrill shriek pierced the stillness. Leaf and Frosti leapt to their feet, tensed and ready for action.

"What was that?" Leaf whispered nervously.

"Char," Frosti said, shrugging.

"I'd better go find out," Leaf said, more to talk herself into doing it than anything else. "If something's hurt … c'mon, Frosti!" she yelled, jogging down the beach toward the spot where the sound had come from. Frosti trotted after her obediently, his swishing tail accidentally setting a few branches strewn across the beach on fire.

They rounded a corner and gasped at the sight. Lying motionless on the sands was a huge, blue Pokemon, too far away to be recognized. Easier to see were the small, white Wingull circling above it, some daring to descend upon the body.

"Holy …" Leaf breathed, staring at the beast's massive size. "What _is_ that thing?" Curiosity overcame her better judgment, and she thoughtlessly charged down the beach towards it. Again Frosti followed her, though much more cautiously.

The closer Leaf got, the more she could see of the Pokemon. A large, grayish-blue fin on its backside was half buried in the sand, and its long, stubby limbs were splayed out in several different directions. From this distance she could see its huge chest rise and fall, shallowly and erratically, as if it had half-forgotten how to breathe.

Abruptly, the Pokedex clicked back on. _"Wingull,"_ it said in its mechanical voice.

"Oh, shut up," Leaf moaned, keeping her eyes on the great blue creature.

"_Wingull, the Dumb Little Birdie Pokemon,"_ the Pokedex continued, as if it had not heard her. _"Gender is Aaaarrgggh There Are Too Many. Height is But I Wanna Step On It, Mommy! Weight is Obese. Wingull glides on wind currents above the ocean because it's so stupid that it never learned how to fly for itself."_

"That's _not_ the Pokemon I wanted you to identify!" Leaf snarled irritably.

"_Well, sor-_ry,_"_ the Pokedex muttered, zapping her slightly in annoyance. _"I was getting to that. Don't pressure me, or I'll electrocute you. Swampert, the Mud Brain Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Godzilla; weight is Howza Diet Workin' For Ya? This Pokemon is extremely strong, able to lift things weighing over a ton. Because of this, it is apparent that all members of this species are in an illegal drug ring, and therefore if you see one you must call the cops on it immediately. Thank you and lay off the fries."_

_A Swampert?_ Leaf thought, gaping. Now that she was closer, she did see the orange whiskers protruding from each side of its broad head, the signature marking of its evolutionary line. But how did a Swampert end up all the way out here? They were somewhat rare, usually only given out in the form of Mudkip as starter Pokemon – Hoenn's answer to Squirtle, as it were. To find even a Mudkip in the wild …

"Shoo! Shoo!" Leaf shouted at the numerous Wingull, who screeched and took to the skies at her sudden appearance. Nervously she tiptoed over to the huge Pokemon, and gave a start when she saw a small trail of purplish blood trickling from its open mouth, creating a tiny puddle of underneath its large head.

Abruptly its eyes snapped open. Instantly Leaf and Frosti froze: the last thing they wanted was to provoke the beast. Time stood still as the Swampert regarded them, beady orange orbs soaking in the unexpected appearance of the two. After several long, tense seconds, it finally relaxed its eyelids, indicating its trust in them.

Slowly and carefully Leaf made her way to its side, avoiding broken shells littered across the sand. She hesitated before lightly placing her fingertips onto its shoulder. The Swampert grunted, but did not respond in any other way.

"Um … hi, there, buddy," she said, unsure of how else to address a huge, possibly man-eating mudfish. "You doing okay?"

Swampert gave her a somewhat condescending look, but it nevertheless shifted slightly to give her a better look at the front of his body. Leaf's eyes widened, and she bit back a scream as she took in the sight: a long, ugly gash stretching from throat to stomach seemed to split its torso in two unequal halves. Blood dripped from the open wound, staining the sand underneath.

"Ugh, you need a doctor for that!" Leaf shrieked, biting her fingernails. "No Pokemon Centers around …"

She gritted her teeth, wringing her hands in indecision. What was she supposed to do? As far as she knew, there was nobody in Pallet who knew much about Pokemon anatomy. Nobody, unless …

"But maybe Professor Oak can help!" she added. She looked over at the beast; it was staring at her almost pitifully. "Can I bring him to you?"

In response, the Swampert nodded slowly.

One of its broad forepaws shifted slightly, catching Leaf's attention. She noticed that it was curled into a fist, though not tightly: the beast was holding something small, round and dark-colored to its wounded chest, almost protectively. Curious, she leaned forward slightly to get a better look, but skipped back almost instantly, startled by its sudden, rather violent head-shaking.

"Must … keep … it … safe …"

Leaf blinked. "Did you just talk?"

Swampert stared at her, a bit exasperated. Then it wearily lowered its head; its eyes seeming to glaze over slightly.

"Don't die on me!" Leaf said, a hint of desperation creeping into her tone. She started to back away, already thinking up the shortest route to the lab from here – but there were still those Wingull, hopping about and circling above and shrieking at the bleeding water-type. And they hadn't exactly been shy about approaching the Swampert before …

"Go on!" Frosti said anxiously, waving her on. He glared at the numerous birds, determination filling his young face. "I'll hold them off!"

Leaf, after a moment of stunned surprise, nodded and swiveled around, sprinting back the way she had come.

_What the hell is going on?_

* * *

In a vast courtyard on the peak of a far-off mountain in a land far, far away, a lanky form passed between incredibly large pillars, feathers bristling with resentment.

"Those bloody idiots," she muttered, and her silver eyes glared as if the thin mountain air itself had personally wronged her. "Can't stop screwing around, can they? 'It's an amusing game,' they said. 'Time them perfectly for maximum boom,' they said. Yeah, sure. 'Boom' – the sound my head's going to make any day now."

She turned her gaze upwards towards the sky, so bright with sunlight that her eyes began to leak involuntary, stinging tears; nevertheless, she puffed out her chest, opened her beak, and unleashed a long, valiant-sounding caw that echoed emptily about the courtyard.

Nothing happened.

"It's _me_, Mom," she called up at the sky. "We _broke_ that stupid flute, remember? Look, the Twins are getting up to something again, and—"

A glimmering, crystal-like staircase abruptly materialized before her, stretching upward in a seemingly infinite spiraling curve. Its upper end was distant enough to be practically invisible. With a huff, Fystor began to march up the stairs, ignoring the dizzying height between herself and the clouds circling the mountainsides far below.

This was just not her day.


	3. All Creatures Great and Small

More overhaul in this one than in the last two. Has a lot of snippets straight from a couple of the original chapters, though ... :/

* * *

Chapter Three: All Creatures Great and Small (Swampert's Special Delivery!)

"Leaf!" the old man panted, starting to fall behind the younger and faster girl. "Slow down! Where are we …" He paused for a moment, trying to catch his breath as he pounded down the earthy path. "Where are we going?"

The girl didn't answer; she simply continued to run ahead of him, widening the distance between them.

"Ugh …" Oak clutched a stitch in his side with one sweaty hand, while trying to keep hold of the first-aid kit in the other. "I'm getting too old for this …"

Brushing past brilliant green bushes, Leaf finally emerged on the beach's edge. The glare of sunlight reflecting off of calm waters made her squint, and she glanced about in momentary frustration. _Which way did I come from again? Damn, I should've at least paid attention …_

"Hey, Leaf! Over here!"

Frosti swished his fiery tail, and his trainer, catching sight of the light's movement, quickly darted towards him; globs of sand flew from beneath her sneakers. As the Professor set foot on the beach, one of them caught him in the mouth, and he sputtered indignantly, wiping his face as he followed the girl.

True to his unexpected word, Frosti had managed to keep the Wingull away from Swampert; the birds were extremely stupid, however, and failed to acknowledge his existence for more than ten seconds at a time. Sure, they would flutter away irritably whenever he ran them out of the immediate area, but at that point the birds on Swampert's other side would hop rather sneakily towards the beast, cawing out for no apparent reason. So Frosti had been kept busy running back and forth, and by the time Leaf dropped to her knees to examine Swampert's condition (at which point the Wingull gave up and flapped off somewhere else), the exhausted Charmander was barely able to stay on his feet.

His panting fell into rhythm with Professor Oak's, and the old man wheezed as he knelt beside Leaf; his kit fell to the sand with a thump as he placed his hands on his thighs, trying to steady himself. After several deep breaths, he shook himself back to his senses, flipped open the kit's lid, and looked up at the injured Pokemon for the first time.

He gasped so hard that for a moment Leaf stared at him in alarm, worried that he'd gotten a heart attack.

"Sweet mother of Jirachi …" he murmured, gaping like a dying fish. "How did you … how did this … what …?"

"I don't know how long he's been here," Leaf said, feeling the limp Swampert's forehead. She bit her lip, remembering how wet his skin had been before. "He's already dried out a lot in just fifteen minutes!"

Oak, abruptly realizing how stupid he probably looked, closed his mouth again and swallowed. "Right," he said, trying to shake off the absurdity of the situation. Rummaging through the first-aid kit, he produced a brightly-colored can, shook it a few times, and pushed a button on the top, unleashing a silvery spray that fizzled and foamed as it touched Swampert's gash. The beast's face screwed up into a grimace – Leaf supposed that the Antidote stung – and he let out an odd baritone whimper, clutching his held object a bit more tightly.

Oak noticed this, of course, and said to Leaf, as he tore open a packet of powdered Sitrus Berry, "You should take that thing from him. He's going to crush it."

She leaned forward to do so, but Swampert shook his head frantically – or at least as frantically as he could manage. "No," he muttered, slurring his words slightly. "It's all I … all I have left …"

"I won't hurt it," she told him coaxingly, looking him in the eye. "I just want to make sure _you _don't hurt it, that's all …"

A glint of pained horror appeared in his eyes. "No," he breathed. "I can't do that, I'm … better than …"

But he relaxed his grip, and she gently prized the object from his unresisting paws. Turning it over in her hands, she saw that it was round, tapered on one end, and rather larger than she had initially expected: she certainly couldn't have held it with just one hand. Its deep indigo color shimmered in the sunlight.

"An egg?" she murmured to herself, realizing what it was.

"Can't forgive myself," Swampert whispered, "if I lose _all_ my family …" With a sigh, his head drooped and he closed his eyes mournfully.

There was a moment of quiet.

"He's dead," Leaf gasped, staring at him sadly, "of a broken heart."

Frosti sniffled.

"He's _fainted,_" the Professor corrected sternly, "of blood loss. Now …" He dumped the contents of the packet into Swampert's mouth. "That should help. But he still needs to fully recov— Is that an _egg?_"

Leaf nodded. "He said he didn't want to lose his whole family."

Oak practically choked.

"Oh, right, he talked," Leaf added, realizing what she'd conveniently forgotten to say. "I just randomly started hearing him. And Frosti, too." She glanced at the Charmander, who was warily watching the Wingull overhead. "Is that normal?"

"Ah … unusual, but certainly not unheard of." He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "Sometimes a trainer's mind has an abnormal arrangement in its construction, which picks up on a Pokemon's movements and emotions and instantly translates them into actual words. But it's only several _years_ into training that it happens." He shook his head, confused. "I'm not sure why there'd be an exception, but maybe you're even more abnormal than most. Then again, there's also the C—"

"But that doesn't even make sense! It only happened fifteen, maybe twenty minutes ago. My brain can't have _transformed_ or something, could it?" She glanced about nervously, as if worried her brain would leap out of her skull.

"No idea." The Professor stood up, brushing sand off his lab coat. "Well, he's still nowhere near top condition. I'll have to bring him over to the lab to see if there's anything else wrong with him. And call Birch, too … Perhaps a Hoennese trainer released their starter in this area …" He tapped his stubbly chin thoughtfully.

"And the egg?"

"Egg? What egg?"

Leaf and Frosti rolled their eyes.

"Oh, _that _egg. Well, hold onto it for now. I'll be wrapped up in taking care of the Swampert, and I know next to nothing about eggs in any case." Reaching into one of his coat pockets, he withdrew a Poke Ball; its beam of red light coalesced into a short, gray hominoid Pokemon. "Machop, do you think you can follow me back to the lab while carrying him?" he asked, pointing to Swampert.

"Yes sir!" the fighting-type cheered. He leaned down, thrust his hands underneath the beast, and with a grunt heaved him into the air, grinning cheerfully.

"And I guess you're going to insult that one too?" Leaf asked.

Everyone blinked at her. "Wait, what?"

"Oh, right. Professor, something's wrong with my Pokedex."

Oak frowned. "Like what?"

"It's giving out all these joke Pokedex entries. Unless Squirtle really are grenade gangsters, which I doubt." She made a face. "Can you take it back?"

Automatically the Pokedex clicked on. _"This is your Pokedex speaking,"_ it said in its mechanical voice. _"Your version four-point-three encyclopedia of anything related to Pokemon. To look through the list of Pokemon you have seen so far, press the 'A' button. To look at a particular Pokemon's condition, or to cancel evolution, press the 'B' button. To personalize your Pokedex, press the 'C' button."_

Frosti yawned loudly. The Pokedex paused very briefly, but continued anyway.

"_To access the map or television functions, press the 'D' button. To access the radio and telephone functions, press the 'E' button. Finally, to complain to the makers of this machine, press the 'F-U' button. Thank you for your attention, and we hope you enjoy your trip."_

"… Apparently, you hadn't even turned it on," Oak said reasonably, turning back to the Swampert. "That's a cute story, Leaf, but illogical."

Leaf opened her mouth, paused for a moment, and shut it again. There was no point in trying to convince him, even though there was no "F-U" button.

"_Machop," _the machine went on. _"The Superpower Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is two feet, seven inches; weight …"_

"It's perfectly fine," Professor Oak said, nodding at it as it rattled on, "so there's no reason to waste it. Well, we need to take care of the Swampert, so we had better be off. I'll let you know how he's doing tomorrow." With that, he trudged through the sand towards the tree-lined edge of the beach. Machop scuttled behind him, carrying the great blue beast in both hands.

"… _styles of martial arts to become even stronger. But that's the biggest pile of bullcrap I've heard since that rampaging Tauros left a present at the lab," _the Pokedex added, as soon as the Professor was out of earshot. _"They're wild animals. How the hell are they supposed to know the finer points of jujitsu? I mean, come on. What the makers really mean to say is that Machop just beat the hell out of each other. Which is actually the same thing, just in a more general sense, but whatever."_

A Wingull somewhere squawked.

"_Oh, are you mad because that moldy oldie didn't believe you? Too bad. At least now he probably thinks you're almost as crazy as you really are!"_

Leaf glared at it. It merely cackled cheerfully.

* * *

She'd hoped that when she'd met up with the boys again, her confusion and frustration would be forgotten. Unfortunately, when she managed to find them at the edge of town just a few blocks from Fire's house, it was not to be.

"Yeah, I've already caught loads of Pokemon! Most are probably just going to be used for Gramps' research, though – Is that an _egg?_"

"_Yes,"_ Leaf sighed. Why was everyone getting so worked up about it? "It's an egg."

"What species is it?"

"I don't know, it—"

"Wow, why are you so lucky?"

"Um, thanks, Lightning, but I—"

"Is it going to be any good?"

"I _just said _I didn't know what the bloody species is going to—"

"LOOK, PEOPLE!" Ocean bellowed, startling everyone. "SHE JUST SAID SHE DOESN'T KNOW! SO PLEASE JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE HER ALONE!"

Everyone sweatdropped at his sudden behavior. He simply grinned at them.

"Um … thanks," Leaf said, deciding to change the subject. "So what exactly have you caught, Ocean?"

"_Well_," Ocean said, puffing his chest out proudly, "I caught a Weedle and a Caterpie and another Weedle and a Metapod and a Kakuna and a Pidgey and a Spearow and a Tentacool and also another Pidgey. Oh yeah, and a Sentret and a Rattata and a Mankey and an Ekans and a Pikachu and a Fearow and a Horsea and a Spinda and another Caterpie and another Kakuna and an Abra and a Bellsprout and an Oddish and a Magikarp and another Magikarp and a Goldeen and another Magikarp and a Tyranitar and also another Magikarp. I think that's it."

Fire stared at him. "You caught a Tyranitar?"

"Yeah, wanna see?"

"Not right here, you—"

"TAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" bellowed a huge, monstrous Pokemon as soon as it was released from its Poke Ball. It resembled a miniaturized Godzilla, looming over them with a snarl twisting its fanged face. It had a blue diamond shape on its stomach and a long, spiky, mace-like tail, which was thrashing about wildly. The _tail_ was thrashing, that is; it would have been very odd indeed if its stomach had been thrashing.

"No! Bad boy! _Bad_ boy!" Ocean shouted as the Tyranitar picked up Peach with one of its huge, clawed hands. "Put that evil and twisted … er, sorry, Lightning … I mean, put that mouse down!"

"TYRAN!" Tyranitar roared, bringing the electric Pokemon close to its fangs.

"ChhhhhhhUUUUUUU!"

"What the—"

A sudden blast of electricity surged from Peach as she yanked herself from the monster's grasp and tackled him with the ferocity of a wild shopper with road rage during Christmas season. Tyranitar convulsed as thin yellow bands of electricity encircled its body, causing it huge amounts of pain. Finally he moaned, "Tarrrrr …" and collapsed onto the ground, not moving.

"Pi pi pi CHUUUU!" Peach sang triumphantly, standing on the beast's chest and doing a victory pose.

"Wow, Peach!" Lightning exclaimed, as his little mouse jumped onto his shoulder again. "That was just … amazing!"

"The rat knows Volt Tackle? Impressive," Fire said, somewhat reluctantly.

"Hey, maybe all our starters have bred moves!" Ocean said excitedly.

They glanced at Frosti and Hideki, who shook their heads. "No," Frosti said, looking at Peach with envy.

"Oh." Ocean looked crestfallen. "Well, you know what they say …"

He trailed off, peering dramatically at the horizon.

"No," Leaf said, raising an expectant eyebrow. "What _do _they say?"

"I dunno," he said, rubbing the back of his head and looking abashed. "I was hoping _you'd _know."

Everyone groaned.

* * *

"Right, the jelly's there, but where's the peanut butter …"

Sitting at the table, Frosti watched Leaf move back and forth across the kitchen, searching for the elusive peanut butter to complete her late lunch. She yanked a cabinet door open, pushed its contents aside, and slammed it shut again, growing increasingly frustrated. He watched her move on, and smiled to mask his true feelings.

He knew he wasn't the greatest Charmander – why on earth would he be? But he still felt an inexplicable pang of guilt when he remembered the flash of disappointment on her face as they first laid eyes on each other. She'd done a good job of covering it up again, smiling and talking to him and letting him ride on her shoulder. But he'd seen the look, nevertheless.

"Seriously, where is that damn peanut butter?"

He'd felt this way last month too, when the new trainers-to-be – there were only two of them that time – had come to pick up their starters. He was released experimentally from his Poke Ball, and he looked up at the girl who held it, smiling hopefully; but she merely scowled in return and returned him. The other one, the boy, hadn't seemed disgusted, but Frosti knew he'd been rejected when he was let out later, when Oak was serving up his dinner.

Was he really that pathetic?

"It's probably so far back in this pantry, it's gone into fricking Narnia. FRICKING NARNIA, I TELL YOU!"

"If you say so," Frosti said evenly.

CRACK.

They both jumped: the egg, which had been placed in the decorative basket on the table, was wobbling slightly. Thin cracks had started to appear on its shell.

"Holy crap!" Leaf rushed to the table, gripping its edge as she watched the jagged lines spread across the egg's surface. "It's hatching already? But Oak didn't say anything about that!"

"Well, he _did_ say he knew next to nothing about eggs." Frosti also peered at it in interest.

The egg, for no visible reason, suddenly stood still, and a moment of silent anticipation ensued. Then a horn forced its way through the shell, followed by a small, dark head, dwarfed by two relatively huge ears. Two huge black eyes squinted in the sudden rush of light, and it peered about cutely.

"Pras?" it squeaked.

They simply stared at it.

It rocked slightly from side to side, and the remainder of the eggshell fell away, revealing a small body no larger than Leaf's fist; it was covered in some strange egg fluid that shimmered in the sunlight streaming through the window. Four flippers wiggled, as if they were relieved to finally be free from containment. A silvery shell was on its back, covered in blunt spikes for extra protection. Its cream-colored underside was a stark contrast to its deep indigo scales.

Frosti's eyes practically fell out of his head.

"Is that …?" Leaf pointed at the newly hatched Pokemon, gaping like a fish while it smiled adoringly up at her. "Is that really a … really a …"

"_Yep," _chirruped the Pokedex, sitting lazily on the kitchen counter. _"You're not _quite _as crazy as you think you are, girlie. That really is a shiny Lapras."_

* * *

*everyone groans*

_(Hey, this was part of what formed the story in the first place, okay? Believe me, things won't be getting much easier than this for Leaf. So calm down. :P)_


	4. Kiss My Lapras

Graduation is fun. :D

* * *

Chapter Four: Kiss My Lapras (Leaf versus Pokedex?)

"Oh, you little cutie – geez, you're heavier than you look …"

With a loud bang, the door was kicked open, revealing Leaf, standing there at the threshold of her room with the tiny shiny Lapras in her arms. Frosti, standing at her heels, stared around at her room. The carpeted floor was messily covered with various items; Leaf was forced to navigate her way to the bed, narrowly tripping several times. Finally she jumped onto her bed, careful to keep the Lapras securely held in her arms as several socks went flying. She placed the little Pokemon on her pillow, where it yawned cutely and promptly fell asleep.

"Can you imagine if Mom sees you?" Leaf asked, speaking mostly to herself as she gazed down at the Pokemon. "She'll freak. We'll have to keep you up here and hope she doesn't decide to come in here."

Frosti stared incredulously.

"Oh, right," Leaf said, remembering he was there. "Well, this is my room." She made a grand, sweeping gesture around her.

"… Seriously? How can you live with this?" he asked, as he waded through huge piles of clothes strewn about the floor. He shook his head at the room's condition: various papers lay scattered on the desk, books spilled haphazardly from the shelves, and stuffed animals flooded from the open closet. Not even the ceiling was safe – several badly folded origami cranes dangled above their heads, gently swaying back and forth. In fact, only the walls seemed to show any sign of order at all. It seemed as though Leaf had set them aside as a shrine for the numerous objects of her fangirling: posters were tacked to the walls, covering every inch of space so that Frosti couldn't tell what color the walls themselves were supposed to be. Various male actors, singers, and trainers could be seen, but the largest posters boasted virtually every male League member – Gym Leaders, Elite Four members, and Frontier Brains alike – under the age of thirty-five.

"It's not like there's a point in putting this stuff away," Leaf retorted, stroking the Lapras's nose gently with a single finger. She seemed to have already taken it for granted that this incredibly rare Pokemon was in her possession. "I mean, I'll just have to take it out again sometime, right?"

"Slob."

"Am not!"

He sighed. "Look, if a _lizard_ calls you a slob, then you _know_ you've got a problem."

"True. But don't worry, I just need to grab a sleeping bag, and maybe some other stuff …" She sat down on the floor, picking stuff up and stuffing it into her handbag.

"Fine, but I am _not_ helping you carry all that," he said, watching his trainer unearth a huge rubber duck from somewhere under her bed.

"_Hey, hey, hey!"_ the Pokedex drawled suddenly, startling them. _"I just realized that I haven't given you an entry for the Lapras yet! Wow, I suck. Here we go—"_

"Don't you dare insult my sweet little baby!" Leaf yelped, pouncing onto the Pokedex frantically.

"_It's my_ job _to 'insult the sweet little babies,"_ the Pokedex replied smartly. _"Lapras, the Exploding Pokemon. Gender is Female. Height is Worm, Weight is You Sure Wouldn't Guess It Was A Worm. Lapras are friendly and live in large pods with others of their own kind, but this is only because they're all immature wusses who don't realize that humans are evil and like hunting them down for their shells! Which are worth millions sometimes, so let's go kill a few off right now! Because, kids, what your parents haven't told you is that ripping off the shells of the weird, freaky turtle things is fun_ and _profitable! Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!"_

There was absolute silence.

"_Heh, heh, that was a pretty clever one, if I do say so myself_," the Pokedex chuckled. _"I should make entries for humans sometime. That sure would be entertaining, although I'd need a million different ones since they all look different for some reason. Which is odd, since all Corphish look the same, and all Tangela look the same, and all Jigglypuff look the same, and all Numel look the same, and all Seaking … kid, what are you doing? Is that a foot? Wow, I've never seen a foot before. Oh, look, it's moving at a high velocity towards my location. Interesting. Tee hee, something naughty's on the bottom of your shoe … wait a second here … oh sh—"_

CRUNCH.

"Naughty words are bad," Frosti commented, looking at the sizzling orange machine.

"Yes they are, Frosti, and don't you forget that. After all, look where they got the Pokedex. You may be orange, but you sure aren't a Pokedex, so be grateful."

"_Oh my goodness gracious Giratina, did I offend you?"_ the Pokedex droned in a mock-whiny voice, as it popped its ruined shell off to reveal a new and unbroken one underneath, before singing, _"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and deserrrrt you! You just got dexrolled, kid!"_

"Naaaarrrrrrrgh!" Leaf roared, disappearing from view as she sank into a large pile of homework which should have been turned in during first grade.

"_I do not believe 'Naaaarrrrrrrgh' is a Pokemon,"_ the Pokedex stated helpfully. _"Nearest matches are Murkrow and Natu, but if you were a Pokemon I believe that your species name would be Naaaarrrrrrrgh. You know what, I think I should call you Naaaarrrrrrrgh from now on. Dearest Naaaarrrrrrrgh, how_ are _you doing today?"_

Leaf facepalmed. "Three things," she muttered. "One, I officially hate your guts. Or circuits, or whatever. Two, my name is not 'Naaaarrrrrrrgh', nor will it ever be." She scowled. "And three … Frosti, when the Lapras wakes up, tell her that her name is Paris."

"_Paris?_"

She nodded mutely.

"Okaaayyy …" Frosti's orange face was further colored by confusion. "But why? You could tell her yourself."

"I could, but I'm going to be sitting in this corner acting like I'm dead for the next couple hours," Leaf told him, groaning as the Pokedex began singing, _"Nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, nine hundred thousand nine hundred ninety-nine bottles of beer … C'mon, Naaaarrrrrrrgh, baby, it's great once you've had enough of it! Take one down, pass it around …"_

* * *

When Leaf's mother finally came home from work that evening (by which time Leaf herself had temporarily gotten over her problems with the Pokedex), Frosti quickly saw that he was not the first Pokemon to set foot in the house. Lecky, the Pokemon to whom that title really belonged, smiled at him disarmingly at the dinner table, revealing twin sharp fangs.

"Um … hi," he managed to say, grinning weakly back in return.

The yellow Pokemon extended a furry hand towards him, and Frosti, being naïve, grasped it. Immediately a huge spark jumped from her palm to his, and he yelped in pain at the abrupt electric shock. She broke their handshake, let him rub his sore hand for a moment, and then leaned toward him slightly, her knobby antennae glowing a faint, ominous blue.

"Take care of her out there," she growled, nodding in Leaf's direction.

Frosti nodded warily. Satisfied, Lecky leaned back in her chair, smirking.

Leaf, who seemed to be in her own little world, didn't notice this exchange. She stared at her glass on the table; the water within reminded her strongly of the little water-type snoozing upstairs in her room. How had this happened, anyway? Not even three hours into trainerhood, she had already become the owner of a shiny Pokemon. What were the odds? Probably a few billion to one. It was almost suspicious …

"_Are you still sulking because I'm better than you, Naaaarrrrrrrgh? Well, that's not going to change, so stop it. Electabuzz, the Retarded Pokemon. Gender is Female. Height is Let's Touch That Thundercloud!; weight is Dead. These idiots cause half the blackouts in the whole world. And blackouts, as everyone knows, happen when an evil genius is stealing the city's power to make his own thingy work. So it's obvious that Electabuzz are evil geniuses, minus the genius part. And if you don't see that, you're a moron."_

Lecky rolled her eyes.

"Dinnertime!" Leaf's mom emerged from the kitchen, carrying a large pot full of spaghetti. The sight of the food immediately pulled Leaf back to reality. What with all the excitement of Paris hatching, she hadn't managed put together her sandwich, or even to continue her search of the elusive peanut butter.

On a less relevant note, the peanut butter in question was currently frolicking in a glade with several flamboyant fauns. But that's a story for another time.

As they ate, another question slowly crept to the surface of Leaf's mind. She considered it for a moment before looking up at her mother, still twirling noodles around her fork. "Mom," she almost whined, "when are you going to tell me about Dad?"

The woman sighed, looking back at her daughter. In the tradition of all mothers of heroes and heroines, she looked ten years younger than she really was, even though her long dark hair was tied back in an austere bun and her clothes were all baggy and dirty from gardening. Ordinarily, single mothers of this sort have remarried by now, but this was not the case.

Leaf was fine with that. The last thing she wanted was some gross old stoned guy lazing about on the couch, chugging beer by the six-pack, and bragging loudly about the unmentionable things he and her mother did every night. It should be noted at this point that the single mothers mentioned above have a revolting taste in men.

"Honey," her mother said, "I keep telling you, he's not a lot to talk about. He's not some mysterious figure who's going to die and leave us with a massive fortune. And he's not some random person I met in Las Vegas, either. He's just an ordinary man who I fell in love with, married, and later split up with. Nothing interesting about that."

The way she put it did sound boring. And yet there was something else she wondered about. "Is he still … you know … alive?"

Her mother shrugged. "We haven't kept in touch," she said, and her tone warned Leaf that this conversation was at an end.

It wasn't until later that night, when she lay in bed with Paris and Frosti snuggled up on either side, that she realized her mother had deliberately avoided giving a real answer.

* * *

"Okay, you have everything you need?"

"Yeah."

"Now, you go and have a great time out there, and be safe, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Leaf assured her mother, slinging her trusty handbag over her shoulder. The night had come and gone, and it was time to meet the boys by the lab. Despite her excitement for the journey, she suddenly felt small and alone, as if her life was suddenly turning into a second-rate TV show. _At least she never found out about Paris,_ she thought to herself. _She'd go insane._

Her mother suddenly grabbed her in a suffocating hug. "Oh, my little baby all grown up—"

"Mmmmph!" Leaf struggled in vain to free herself.

Frosti, standing at Leaf's side like a good little Charmander, stared.

"I remember when you were still in diapers," her mother continued, going teary-eyed. Apparently, she didn't even notice Leaf wrestling wildly to escape from her grasp. "I wish I had a camera … pity it's broken."

"Yeah, well, you're liable to break something else," Leaf gasped as she finally tore herself free, rubbing her neck.

Lecky joined them from inside the house, a golden-brown muffin in her paw. "Lec?" she asked, offering the muffin to Leaf.

"Why thank you, Lecky," Leaf said with a smile, accepting her breakfast. She took a large bite, letting the steaming flavors of cinnamon and blueberry meld on her tongue.

"Lecky's going to miss you, too," her mother sighed, patting the aging yellow-and-black Pokemon on the shoulder.

"Now, you take care of Mom, m'kay, Lecky?"

The Electabuzz nodded, a faint blue current of electricity appearing between her two knobby horns. She snuck a knowing glare at Frosti, who swallowed nervously.

"Okay, then. Well, I gotta go, the guys are waiting and I don't think they want their lives on hold. Bye!"

"Goodbye, sweetheart," her mother cried as Leaf skipped merrily down the path, the Poke Balls on her belt bouncing comfortably off of her leg. She swallowed the remainder of the muffin whole before sprinting away from the place she knew as home. Frosti trotted behind her, eager to put distance between him and that maniacal Electabuzz.

Her mother remained on the doorstep, still waving even though Leaf was no longer visible. Tears began to drip unromantically from her wide, sorrowful eyes. Lecky glanced up at her owner, her tiger-like tail swishing back and forth.

"Yes, Lecky, I'm alright. I'm just worried that she'll run into her father …"

* * *

At the lab, Professor Oak had a few words of wisdom to impart.

" … And do not, whatever you do, let them touch you. It counts as pedophilia." He blanched at some memory.

Lightning swallowed.

"Well, I guess Swampert wants to see his egg again," the Professor said; indeed, the huge blue beast had been looking antsy, drumming his fingers on the floor impatiently for the last several minutes. The gash on his chest wasn't bleeding anymore, but there was no doubt that it would leave a terrible scar.

"Sure," Leaf agreed. She pulled a Poke Ball from her belt and, after some hesitation, pointed it toward the ground. _This is going to take some getting used to,_ she thought, as the red-and-white sphere released a bright beam that solidified into the tiny shape of Paris, who looked up at everyone, smiling sweetly. Swampert immediately lowered himself to the floor, nuzzling her with unbridled fatherly affection.

The Lapras blinked.

Frosti blinked.

Leaf blinked.

Fire blinked.

Ocean blinked.

Oak blinked.

Lightning ordered pizza.

"Wait … why did you just order pizza?" Leaf demanded.

"I missed my lunch."

"You fail at life," Fire snarled.

"Are you flipping serious?" Ocean cut in, his surprise exploding from him dramatically. "W-why do you have a Lapras? A _shiny_ Lapras? A shiny Lapras in perfect condition, no less, for which any collector would give up his ba— I mean, _Poke_ Balls! Heh, almost forgot there are innocent young children listening to this conversation. Hi!" He waved at Frosti, who just stared at him.

"I know, it's weird," Leaf said. "But I caught her, so she's mine."

The Swampert turned his attention toward her.

"Ah …" She unconsciously backed up a couple of paces. Perhaps it would have been smarter not to say that in front of him?

But the determined glint in his eye was far from malevolent. "Take me with you," he said.

She blinked. "What?"

"I'm not going to be separated from my last link to family," he declared. Paris clumsily waddled away from him, towards Leaf; as the girl picked her Lapras up, she felt a surge of guilt at the agonized expression on Swampert's face. "I turned my back on them once, and I won't make that mistake again."

Then, before Leaf could reply, he quickly reached out and tapped one of the Poke Balls on her belt, letting himself get sucked into it without a fight. It didn't even wobble once before it dinged cheerfully, signaling a successful capture.

The stunned silence was broken by Ocean's plaintive whine.

"… the hell?"

* * *

_(And finally we get the introductory part out of the way. I've never understood why I took so long to start writing the actual journey part, but meh. Next up: ... the actual journey part. No, not ALL of it, you sillies. :P)_


	5. On the Road

And this is the last chapter that needed any major overhaul. Yay. But I still prefer the later chapters to the early ones XP

A/N: The KKK reference is not intended to offend anyone. Besides the KKK.

* * *

Chapter Five: On the Road (Arrival At Viridian City! A Pokemon Is Caught!)

The four kids traveled down Route 1, their keen eyes on the lookout for random wild Pokemon. Several trees dotted the sides of the dusty route. The cloudless skies, blindingly bright, reflected their hopes for the journey. Leaf, Ocean, and Lightning were skipping merrily, leaving Fire several yards behind. Frosti and Peach, sitting on their respective trainers' shoulders, hung on for dear life. Paris, on the other hand, simply hummed happily from Leaf's arms.

"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz …" they sang loudly.

"Those kids are nutcases," Fire sighed, rolling his eyes.

After that, there was no more singing, because the truth was that they really were being nutcases.

"I hate that he's always right," Ocean stated as they skidded to a halt, waiting for Fire to catch up. "Oh well. And Leaf … why do you get to have a Swampert and a shiny? A _freaking shiny!_" At this last part, the full meaning of his statement stressed him sufficiently enough that his voice rose by several octaves and decibels, and he pulled at his hair with an almost psychotic expression.

Leaf shrugged, while everyone else sweatdropped at the abrupt change in topic. "I dunno. Just luck, I guess."

"… I hate you," Ocean bawled, slumping over.

"Oh, don't cry, Ocean. One of my Pokemon is injured, and another is a helpless little baby, so technically I still only have one."

Ocean took a deep breath to calm himself. Then, suddenly, he perked up, beaming. "Ah, well. At least I have Tyran."

"You b-brought the Tyranitar?" Lightning gasped, trembling.

"Yep. Me, Hideki, Rosa and Tyran. We're a lovely bunch."

"An odd combination," Fire snarled. "A spiky-haired freak with his Bulbasaur, Spinda and Tyranitar. This should go over well."

"Remind me how an emo, his Drowzee and his Squirtle isn't an odd combination," Ocean replied serenely.

"Hey guys!" Lightning piped up. Of course, everyone ignored him.

"I am _not_ emo!" Fire snarled, crossing his arms to hide the cuts on them.

"Yes you are!"

"No, I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No, I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No, I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No, I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Guys, cut it out, we all know Fire's an emo, just shut up and listen!" Lightning hissed. "Something's moving in that bush over there!"

Everyone was instantly silent. A faint movement wildly wriggled in a roadside bush. Then, suddenly, a bluish rabbit leapt into the road, its broad ears standing at attention on its horned head. A few dark spots decorated its fuzzy sides. It seemed to have just pulled up a clump of grass in its buckteeth, and was trying to munch on it.

"How come these bastards keep popping up?" it sighed, sounding slightly muffled.

Automatically Leaf's Pokedex clicked on.

"Why?" she groaned.

"_Oh my dear Naaaarrrrrrrgh, it's my job. Silly girl. Nidoran female, the Lousy Pokemon. Gender is Female, duhhhhh. Height is Infant, Weight is Horse. The female has a smaller horn than the male, which is odd. After all, you wouldn't expect a female to have a horn, would you? Pokemon get weirder every day, I swear."_

Lightning sweatdropped. "That thing is just plain unnatural. But whatever. I'm gonna catch that bunny! Go Peach!"

"Candy?" Peach squeaked, facing her first foe.

"Don't take it from strangers," Nidoran advised, tensing herself for a blow.

"Volt Tackle!" Lightning cried.

Peach streaked toward Nidoran, a living comet of electricity. Nidoran was hit with astonishing force, and actually flew a couple of feet through the air. She didn't even have time to blink before crumpling to the ground, panting.

"Poke Ball, GO!" Lightning yelled, tossing an unused Poke Ball at the rabbit.

One wobble …

Two …

Three.

_Ding!_

"Yeah! I caught a Pokemon!" he cheered, picking up the Poke Ball and doing a cheesy victory pose. "Its name is Dory!"

"Didn't you say you weren't nicknaming any more Pokemon?" Leaf asked, confused.

"Yeah, but I changed my mind. Atta girl, Peach!"

Peach wagged her tail joyfully, leaping back onto his shoulder and nuzzling against his face.

"Now he has _two_ rabid rabbits," Frosti sighed. "It's the beginning of the end."

* * *

Elsewhere in Kanto, though not so far from our heroes as one might think, there were two young men. There usually are, in tales like these: wise, experienced mentors, or swashbuckling, romantic adventurers, or perhaps even supernatural seducers with glittery skin and furball explosion capabilities. The aforementioned types seem to never have stories about themselves, for they are doomed to protect the uninteresting main girl who is the source of all the inconvenient sexual tension. With these particular young men, however, this was not the case. Though they would find opposition in each other, it would not find itself predominated by the love triangle factor; and in fact, though they had met before, one didn't know it, and the other preferred to keep it that way.

The one was, at this moment, ignoring the slowly approaching harbor from his position on the boat's deck. Excited shouts rang in the air – it was about time they had finally arrived at land – but he was deaf to their joy. Instead he leaned against the railing, staring into the dark blue waters churning below, and wondered miserably if it had hurt much when _he_ had jumped. On his orders …

His eyes stung at this thought, but they remained dry – he'd already cried until there were no tears left to spill.

_It's all so wrong,_ he thought agonizingly, as people behind him scampered past to watch the shore loom closer. _I've lost them, and now I've lost him as well … what'll happen when there's only me?_

He moved his arm upward, in a slow, dreamlike motion, to look at the object clenched in his fist: a string of grayish beads made of a peculiar rock. His eyes squeezed shut, and he bowed his head in remorse.

"Skipper," he whispered, words barely audible over the crash of waves, "I'm so, so sorry …"

* * *

The other was fleeing the police.

Not that that was anything new. After years of criminal activity, he had practically turned lawbreaking into an art form. Which explained why he was running up and down the streets of Viridian with Jenny and her cronies on his tail, instead of using one of his Pokemon to help him flee the scene. After all, where would the fun in that be?

He ducked around one alley corner, sprinted down the dark, winding path, and pulled sharply around the left corner before anyone could see him. He allowed himself to slow to a jog, chuckling as he heard Jenny's motorcycle screech somewhere before its progress was abruptly halted with a massive crash. _Note to self: motorcycles are_ not _convenient transportation in alleyway chases._

He grinned mischievously as he emerged into the sunlit street, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from people. It was important that someone as amazingly famous as himself kept undercover while engaging in criminal affairs, after all. That was why he was wearing a cone-shaped white wig. His grin widened as he thought of how nobody could possibly recognize him now, though it slipped his mind entirely that his current wig carried some very unfortunate implications.

His musings were interrupted as he abruptly tripped over something; after hitting the pavement painfully, he swiveled around only to see with surprise that there was some random old guy lying on the sidewalk at his feet.

"Got some?" the old guy mumbled, peering blearily up at him.

He wasn't sure how to respond to this question. After all, he'd gotten many things over the course of his career, and how the hell was he supposed to know what this senile bastard was referring to anyway?

"Give it to me," yawned the old guy.

Now thoroughly disturbed, he backed away slightly. "I really, really hope you don't mean that in a sexual way," he said, hoping some passing policeman would arrest this guy for attempted pedophilia, before remembering that they'd arrest _him_ first anyway.

"MMmmMMmmMMmmMMmm coffeeeee."

He stared at him, as the disturbing images in his head started to dissolve. "Seriously? You're just laying there because you need _coffee?_"

"Neeeeeeed coffeeeeeeee …"

"There's a Starbucks _across the street_. Moron. Now get out of the road, or I'll make sure you're blacklisted for tickle torture when we take over the world."

The old guy looked up at him blankly. Rolling his eyes, the young man turned and started to walk away, wondering why on earth he'd mentioned tickle torture of all things, when—

"KLAN!" The old guy was pointing at his wig in horror, caffeine addiction temporarily forgotten.

_What …?_ He remembered what his wig looked like. _Oh. Right. Dammit._

"KLAN!" the old guy yelled again. "YOU KILLED MY STEPBROTHER, YOU BASTARDS! YOUUUUUUU BASTARRRRRRRRDS!"

The young man took off, not because the moron was creeping him out – although that was still true – but because Jenny's minions would somehow understand what the guy meant. He'd already thrown them off his scent once, and he wasn't really in the mood to repeat the feat.

Ducking into a nearby drugstore, which was thankfully devoid of anybody nearby who could possibly be a witness, he leapt behind an unmanned counter, glancing around to make sure that nobody was watching him. Then he snuck into the nearby back room, swiftly swapped his unfortunate wig for one of a different sort, which he pulled from seemingly out of nowhere, and donned an employee's outfit which was lying conveniently on the floor nearby.

He had no idea that two legendaries were watching his every move and snickering as they planned what would come next …

* * *

The sun was hanging just above the horizon by the time the new trainers reached Viridian City. After dropping by the nearest gym ("'For repairs'?" snarled Fire, glaring at the sign hanging on the door. "Victory could be mine if it weren't for stupid repairs!"), they immediately headed for the nearest drugstore, taking inordinately long turns at the water fountain within.

"The Pewter Gym's up north," Lightning reported, glancing at his map, "but I don't see us getting there until at least tomorrow. Unless we want to wait for this gym to reopen?"

Apparently no one wanted that. No one wondered how they'd managed to get to Viridian in less than a day, either.

"Mine aren't strong enough yet," Fire said, scowling as usual.

"They'll never be strong enough for _you,_" Ocean remarked, patting the other's shoulder happily. "You're the designated power leech! After all, you suck. A lot." He grinned.

Fire swelled angrily. "Is that so?"

"No, but I wish it were. And hopefully you will."

"_Hopefully?_"

While they argued, Leaf decided to wander about the store, stocking up on some food. Frosti tagged along behind, careful to keep his tail far away from anything flammable. Paris, tired from the long day in spite of doing absolutely nothing, peered curiously at the various items for sale.

"Aha, here we are!" Leaf exclaimed suddenly, skidding to a halt before a counter. Frosti, not looking where he was going, slammed into Leaf's slender legs.

"Whatcha looking at?" he asked after picking himself up, curious.

"Technical Machines. There isn't as wide a selection as there is at a mall, but at least the prices are affordable here. Let's see …" Shifting Paris's weight to one arm, she pulled out a couple of the colored discs, nodding as she read their titles. "Sunny Day and Iron Tail for you, and Hail and Return for Paris. Swampert's probably pretty strong, so I don't think he needs machine moves. And these are killing off my allowance anyway."

"Sounds fair enough."

Placing the food and TMs on the unmanned counter, Leaf stood perfectly still as she waited patiently.

For two seconds.

"What kind of service _are_ these people?" she growled, pounding her fist on the counter. "They're leaving me hanging! Geez, I should sue—"

"Can I help you?"

Leaf jumped. From a back room behind the counter emerged a tall, thin young man in a typical employee's outfit. His large black afro was obviously a wig, and it clashed horribly with his pale skin. The plastic tag on his front that said "Hello, my name is _" displayed no name.

He just stared at the Lapras in her arms. His brain seemed to have frozen from shock.

"Are you _bald_?" Leaf asked, staring rudely at the wig without noticing his expression.

"… W-what? Oh, no, it's just that I feel like wearing it." _Shiny?_ he thought. _The newbie has a_ shiny?

"Riiiight," Leaf drawled, "you're wearing a thirty-pound afro that makes you look like a complete geek, in the middle of summer, because you feel like it. A perfectly believable story." _Then again, he_ is _a weirdo …_

The "employee" attempted to conceal his surprise by rolling his eyes. "Do you want to purchase something here or not?"

Leaf shrugged and pushed the short stack of credits toward him, picking up the four TMs and the numerous food items. Trying to ignore her regretfully lighter wallet, she strode away from the counter and back to the boys, Frosti hot on her heels.

He continued to gape as he watched their departure, his brain arguing with what his eyes had seen. Then he leaned against the counter as he rubbed his thin, pointed, freckled nose thoughtfully. He pocketed her money for himself, out of habit.

_They'll be headed toward the Pokemon Center,_ he mused, glancing at the clock. _It's getting late. And those nurses never seem to sleep … Tomorrow, then. I'll call the Boss and ask what he wants me to do … And in the meantime, they'll have an extra shadow following them._

With that, the young man tore off his unused name tag and marched away from the counter, fingering a cell phone in his pocket with a black letter "R" engraved on it.

* * *

_(And now it's all just a matter of removing the coding that SPPf requires. :D)_


	6. Viridian Forest

Couldn't resist putting this up so soon. :P Anyway, I'm excited, because now we can finally start getting to the stuff I actually approve of. :D

* * *

Chapter Six: Viridian Forest (Battle Of The Bug Pokemon! Weedle Vs. Caterpie?)

After a regrettably uneventful night, the foursome continued on their journey. The long, winding road led them into Viridian Forest, a place shrouded by a thick canopy of broad leaves. The sun shone down brightly on the path, but the rest of the forest basked in shadows, making it impossible to see more than fifteen feet to either side. Conveniently, it was in a particularly shady part of the forest that Fire immediately pulled them over for a battle.

"Okay, idiots, I'm not going to wander into Brock's gym just to get crushed by some pathetic pebble. I need experience, and one of you is going to give it to me. Who's my first victim?"

"Quit being so arrogant, Fire, it's not making you popular," Leaf sighed. "I guess I'll battle you first. Just give me a minute for a pep talk with my team, m'kay?"

"Whatever." Fire shrugged, a faint sneer twisting his features. "The way you treat your Pokemon, you'll probably need an hour-long pep talk before they get the spine to battle me."

Leaf rolled her eyes, exasperated. _He thinks he's so cool,_ she muttered mentally as she walked away, Paris in her arms and Frosti at her heels. The girl shielded herself from view from her human companions with a large stump nearby, and placed Paris on the rich brown earth next to Frosti. The two young Pokemon gazed up at her with large eyes as she leaned down to speak with them. With a start, she realized that Paris had almost doubled in size since yesterday. _Either Lapras grow_ very _quickly, or I bought one of the recalled brands of Pokechow,_ she mused. "Alright, guys, it's our first time on the battlefield. I'm not an expert on these things – yet – so you're going to have to trust your gut if I can't come up with some strategy fast enough. Also, I have these for you." She reached into her yellow handbag and pulled out the four TMs, whose plastic covers brightly reflected the firelight from Frosti's tail.

Frosti cocked his head to the side. "What are those supposed to be?"

Leaf facepalmed. Unfortunately, she used the hand with the TMs in them, resulting in a painful red mark in the middle of her forehead. "They're TMs, Frosti. You watched me buy them yesterday, remember?"

"Meh, not really. I was distracted by the nerd with the afro."

"So was I, but whatever. Anyway, TMs are these discs that you use to teach Pokemon awesome moves." She opened the plastic cases and slapped two of the discs on Frosti's head, and the other two on Paris's. Both Pokemon began to glow brightly, illuminating the dark forest, until only their outlines were visible. Flashes of images – a flaming sun, a pulsing cartoonish heart – moved throughout their outlines, faster and clearer as seconds passed and then—

The gloom of the forest swallowed up Leaf's vision, besides some dancing afterimages. Blinking several times to clear it away, she saw Frosti and Paris still sitting there, minus the TMs on their heads.

"Whoa … no wonder people like marijuana so much," Frosti breathed in awe, rubbing his temples.

"This is a two-on-two match," Ocean declared, acting as the referee. Leaf and Fire stared each other down from opposite sides of the dusty path, fingering the Poke Balls hanging from their belts. "Neither side may switch Pokemon unless the current one has fainted. Aaaand … begin!"

"Frosti, you're up!"

"Squirtle, screw up and you die!"

Frosti scampered from his spot next to Leaf and into his position in the "field". In a flash of neon-red light, his small foe appeared on the battlefield. Frosti flexed his sharp claws confidently, his fiery tail slicing through the shadows. Squirtle, on the other hand, shivered as she nervously glanced around at the jet-black depths of the forest.

"Eh …" Leaf bit her lip. This was her first battle ever, and she was less than enthusiastic about messing up. "Frosti, try to get a Scratch in there."

"Ignore it, you have a shell!"

Frosti nodded and charged at Squirtle, grinning menacingly. Squirtle shrieked and ducked, putting her hard brown shell between Frosti and herself. This did not deter Frosti, however; he merely slashed downward at her bowed head, scoring a hit.

"No! Work with me, idiot!"

"Atta boy, Frosti! Scratch again!"

"Toughen up, stupid thing! Use Tackle!"

Squirtle timidly trotted towards Frosti, her stubby little arms in front of her. However, this resulted in another scratch striking her, this time on one of her hands.

"No!" Fire growled again as Squirtle darted behind his legs, shivering. "What do you think you're doing?"

"He's scary," Squirtle whimpered, burying her face in Fire's pant leg.

Fire glared at his young Pokemon and mercilessly kicked her back into battle, his disgusted expression speaking for him. "Don't touch me, pathetic weakling. I told you to battle, so BATTLE!" Apparently, Fire was more frightening than Frosti, as Squirtle cautiously waddled towards her opponent again, ready to try another Tackle.

"Fire, you're not gonna beat anything if you train 'em like that. Sheesh, this is pretty easy. Frosti, slow her up with a Growl, and Iron Tail her while she's down."

As Squirtle neared Frosti, the fiery lizard let a low, purring snarl escape between his sharp teeth. The oddly melodic noise relaxed everyone in the vicinity, and Squirtle collapsed as the will left her muscles, coaxed away by the gentle vibration.

"This stupid turtle isn't worth my time. Tail Whip!"

Squirtle moaned, but obediently stuck her curly blue tail into the air and wagged it cutely. This backfired, however, as it created a perfect target for Frosti's Iron Tail. As his glowing silver tail connected, Squirtle yelped and slumped motionless to the ground, indicating that she had fainted.

"Fire's Squirtle has lost! Frosti is victorious in this round!"

"Yay! We won our first battle!" Leaf cheered, scooping Frosti up into her arms and wildly prancing around, nearly knocking Lightning over. "You're so cool, Frosti!"

"That's what I keep telling you."

"It's not over yet," Fire snarled, recalling Squirtle and interrupting Leaf's sudden dancing spree. "Drowzee, make me proud."

In another beam of red light, a strange-looking, elephant-like Pokemon appeared. Its body was a bright shade of yellow, except for its lower torso and legs, which were a rather ugly brown. Its trunk-like nose twitched as it sniffed the pine-scented air, and its blank, unblinking eyes silently soaked in the scene.

"_Oh, dear,"_ the Pokedex muttered worriedly, _"someone please call in the exterminator to get this monstrosity away from my superior being. Drowzee, the Freak Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Freak, Weight is Freak. In case you couldn't tell, this thing is a serious freak. Apparently it likes to share little kids' dreams with them at night. And as for its nose … well, I don't think I have to tell you what that looks like. Given all this, it is obviously Michael Jackson in disguise. Therefore, don't let it approach you unless getting raped is your cup of tea. What a freak."_

"For once, I have to agree with you," Leaf said grudgingly, dropping her Pokémon onto the dusty ground.

"I agree too," Frosti said, wincing as he picked himself up. "Ever looked in a mirror, buddy? I guess not. Because if you had, you would've scared your own nose off."

"Your prattle offends me," Drowzee droned, the creepily happy expression on his face unchanging.

"What a weirdo. Hit him with a Scratch!"

"That won't be an issue," Fire replied serenely, startling everyone with the abrupt calmness in his voice. "Drowzee, that thing's at close range, you can't miss with a Confusion."

"Drowzee lives to serve Master," the Pokemon said nasally, spreading his hands before himself. A pulsating ball of violet energy sprang to life between his palms, and was promptly launched at the flame Pokemon. The Confusion struck Frosti in the gut, but the young lizard managed to slash Drowzee's arms before he fell.

"Hey, look! One of Fire's Pokemon actually listened to him! Scandalous!"

"Shut your trap, Ocean. Alright, Drowzee, Pound him while he's down." Drowzee curled his three fingers into a fist, slamming it brutally into Frosti. The fire-type moaned as he struggled to his feet.

"Oh, Frosti! You okay?"

Frosti nodded, but suddenly zigzagged around the scene until he crashed into a tree. Holding his head, he groaned, "Leeeeaf, Fire should be disqualified. He's got ten Drowzees over there."

Leaf gritted her teeth. Frosti's confusion easily gave Drowzee the upper hand. Even though Frosti still had a lot of fight left in him, he'd end up hurting himself. Nevertheless, she was determined to beat Fire's mutated pig. "Sunny Day!" she cried.

In his clouded mind, Frosti dimly heard his trainer's command and gave his tail an almighty swish. As the flame on his tail grew blindingly bright, so did the sunlight above the combatants, piercing through the thick emerald canopy overhead until it illuminated the forest as far as the eye could see. Drowzee shrieked and covered his eyes with his hands. "Master, save me from the light! It buuuuuuurns!"

"No! C'mon, Drowzee, shield your eyes! Another Confusion!"

Drowzee, however, refused to move his hands from his eyes, leaving him unable to use the move.

"Scratch again, Frosti! Then—"

As Frosti's claws cut into his foe again, however, he opened his toothy mouth and released a series of small orange flames, which sliced through the air dramatically half a second before making contact with Drowzee's skin. The freakish elephant screeched as a purplish-black welt began to appear one of his stubby arms, and he clutched it with the other hand, his normally apathetic face contorted with pain. "Master, this burns too!" he squealed.

"What? The devil-spawn from under a rock learned Ember? Impossible. Pound it, Drowzee, Pound, Pound, Pound!"

With great effort, Drowzee attempted to ignore the wound and punched Frosti several times. The Charmander made no move to avoid the onslaught, but instead sat with a dazed grin on his face. "Heheh, that tickled," he chortled, before falling forward and slamming into the dirt.

"Ouch. Frosti seems to have fainted, so I guess Drowzee wins this round."

"Oh, poor Frosti," Leaf sighed, picking her little lizard up and cradling him in her arms. _Stupid confusion_, she thought to herself bitterly. _I'll avenge you, my pretty. Let's see here, Paris needs experience, I guess. I don't want her to get hurt, though … ugh, whatever._ "Show him whatcha got, Paris!" she called, releasing her small turtle-like Pokemon.

As she landed on the battlefield, Paris looked up at Drowzee and squealed loudly, half from excitement, half from fear. She glanced back at her trainer and asked, "Will you protect me, Mommy?"

Leaf's heart leapt into her mouth: her baby Pokemon had said her first words! But remembering she was in a battle, she decided to save cuddling for a later time. "Of course I'll protect you, Paris. If he gets too rough with you I'll keep you from getting too hurt, but if you listen carefully to what I tell you, you can beat him all by yourself. Now, give him a taste of your Hail!"

"Leaf, what the hell are you babbling to yourself for?" Fire snarled. However, this was just the opening Paris needed, as she closed her eyes, raised her adorable face towards the bright sun, and sprayed a stream of freezing water from her mouth. As the stream disappeared into the sky, the sun vanished behind a sudden onslaught of thick gray clouds, which instantly poured out thousands of icy chunks onto the forest below. Miles away, several furious picnickers stormed into news buildings to sue the weathermen.

"Atta girl!" Leaf cheered as Paris confidently watched Drowzee get pelted by the hail. _Thud, thud, thud_ went the small shards of ice as they smashed into his head, until finally the cumulative damage fainted him, making him slump over in defeat.

"Huzzah! Leaf wins, Fire loses! Suck on that, dude!" Ocean shouted, high-fiving Leaf.

"Nooooooooooo! How did I lose?" Fire roared furiously, recalling Drowzee.

"Let's see," Ocean said thoughtfully as he and Lightning applauded Leaf's victory. "First, she actually used her brain before she barked out an order, and second, she used TMs. I don't blame you for not using any, though, because you happen to lack both TMs and brains. But that's okay: the Rangers might still accept you."

Fire's face took on a raging shade of bright magenta as he stormed down the trail, cursing very loudly as he went.

"Fire? Fire, the Tauros is gonna get you, come back!" Lightning called out worriedly.

"Screw Fire," Ocean sighed. "If he wants to get gored to death by some rabid hamburger, that's his problem, not ours."

"We'd better get a move on," Leaf stated, pulling a berry from her handbag and pushing it between Frosti's teeth. "Wasn't I cool, though? That was an awesome battle right there."

"Mmmmmmmph! Sweeeeeeeeeeeet!" Frosti squealed, puckering his mouth until it appeared to be imploding. He leapt from his trainer's arms and dashed around wildly before he found the sense to spit it into a nearby bush.

"Well, at least you're conscious now," Leaf said.

"Say, Leaf, you understood what Paris was saying?" Lightning asked excitedly. "That's so fricking cool! What does Peach think of me, am I a good trainer?"

The brunette turned to Peach, who was sitting on Lightning's shoulder. The mouse snuggled her face into her trainer's neck and giggled, "Better than a good trainer. He's a _babe_! I wanna cuddle with him every night and give him gentle shocks!"

Leaf sweatdropped nervously and faced Lightning and Ocean again. "Meh, she thinks you're okay. But don't you guys start thinking I'm gonna turn into some sort of 'Pokemon Whisperer', or whatever. I don't want this to turn into some kind of ragtag band of clowns and midgets, got that?"

Ocean looked over at Lightning and all of their released Pokemon. "Too late."

* * *

As the trio continued on their way, they were blissfully unaware of a young man watching intently from a tree nearby. It was, of course, the mysterious young man from Viridian, who had thankfully abandoned his tacky afro for a slightly less tacky green wig. At the moment, he was calling his Boss via his sleek cell phone, although very gingerly due to a large mass of bruises collected from the Lapras's hailstorm.

One ring … two — _click_.

"Ah, Mister Cobalt, I was wondering what had become of you. What news?"

Cobalt gritted his teeth. _I'm not particularly fond of being talked about like an object,_ he thought sourly. "Well, sir, I deactivated the security cameras in the Viridian National Bank. That's what you told me to do, remember?"

"I'm a busy man, Cobalt, I can't be expected to remember every petty detail."

"Of course." _Moron,_ he added in his mind. "I'm following the group with the shiny Lapras, sir. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that they're heading for Pewter City."

A dry chuckle emerged from the phone, laced with static. "Nice pun there. Rocket scientist, Rocket scientist … I'm so hilarious. Now, since you can tail them so well, I'm going to let you just keep doing that."

Cobalt's jaw dropped. "B-but sir, th-there must be some mistake," he sputtered disbelievingly. "That's grunt work! I'm a fricking admin!"

"I'm very well aware of that. But I can't trust a common grunt to return to base with the Lapras safe and sound. I _can_ trust a 'fricking admin' with that, however. Understand?"

"Yes sir," the young man muttered. That was the first rule everyone learned upon entering Team Rocket: when the Boss had spoken, the Boss had spoken.

"Excellent. And for sake of keeping your cover, I'm going to ask that you switch out all your party Pokemon except your starter. People looking at your team could be able to deduce who you are."

Cobalt sighed and proceeded to scan five of his Poke Balls against the surface of an old, tarnished Pokedex, taking care to send them to Rocket Headquarters rather to than their usual destination of his PC. They dematerialized one by one, until finally he was left with just one, which he held gingerly in his fingers. _This is gonna be a long, hard trip,_ he thought to himself.

"Excellent, they've all arrived safely. Now listen, I've sent a travel companion out to help you with your task. She should be meeting you somewhere along the road in Viridian Forest. That is all." _Click_.

Cobalt stared at the phone for a minute before putting it away, pulling his gaze to his single Poke Ball instead. _Well, I should have realized that this was going to happen eventually,_ he thought in defeat, releasing his single Pokemon. A large blue toad materialized on the branch directly in front of him, a sleek green bulb decorating her back. She glared at him with utmost distaste. "You suck," she snarled.

"Look, you're not my preferred choice for a starter, but at least we can cooperate, right?"

Bulbasaur stuck her flat nose into the air disdainfully before turning away from him, putting her large blue behind in his face. A foul gust of wind blasted noisily from it, causing him to gag. "You raised me up only _five levels_, kept me cooped up in my Poke Ball for _three whole years_, and you expect me to want to _help_ you? You make me snicker."

_This is gonna be a_ really_ long trip,_ Cobalt groaned inwardly, letting go of the branch to hold his nose, only to fall off out of the tree and land on a power line directly below him. His shrieks pierced the fresh forest air.

* * *

"We're never gonna make it," Lightning moaned, looking up at the shining canopy above them in despair as he listened to the agonized wails echoing in the distance.

"Lightning, we've only been walking for ten minutes. We should get out of here soon."

"Hush!" Leaf barked, halting everyone in their tracks. "Do you hear that?"

"You mean the howling monster? Yeah, I heard it." Lightning shivered, sticking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

"No, not that. Something's squeaking up ahead on the trail."

They listened hard, craning their necks to catch some sort of sound. Very faintly, a soft squealing reached their ears. They darted around the bend, kicking up dust as they went, and halted in their tracks. Before them stood two small, worm-like Pokemon, playfighting in the middle of the road. One had freakish red antennae decorating its head, clashing with its lime-green, segmented body and wide, creepy-looking black eyes. The other was somewhat more pleasing to the eye, with its head and tail each adorned with a white spike, and cute little feet which allowed its brownish body to zigzag gleefully around.

"_Ooooh, more Pokemon! This should be fun!"_ the Pokedex squealed delightedly. _"Let's see here. Caterpie, the Maggot Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Puny, Weight is Flea. This ugly little thing eats a bunch of leaves day in and day out, because they're greedy gluttons. They're among the most useless and boring Pokemon in the world. That's pretty much it. Now for the other one. Weedle, the Spike Pokemon. Gender is Female. Height is Microscopic, Weight is Dust Speck. Weedle bears very little resemblance to Caterpie, which it should be thankful for. The two are virtually the same otherwise, but Weedle is a helluva lot cooler because of those badass spikes it has."_

The two caterpillars chased each other around, squealing mischievously. Either they hadn't heard the group approaching, or they didn't care. Leaf noted with interest that Caterpie was staying off of the grass to the left of the trail, and Weedle was staying away from the right. After a few moments, Caterpie darted onto a patch of grass on the right side of the trail, where he paused to catch a breath. Noticing that Weedle was sitting on the trail waiting for him, he exclaimed, "C'mon over on dis side! It's so much more fun den on dat road ting!"

"It's not allowed," Weedle replied, suddenly becoming serious despite Caterpie's obnoxious accent. "You know that."

"Aw, gimme a break! Nobody's lookin', 'n' it'll only be fer a minute anyway."

Weedle craned her small head forward and looked into the shadows nervously. "Well, I don't know …"

Caterpie sighed. "Look, da udda kids on ya side won't ever let it go that ya didn't have da spine ta cross da road. But whateva suits Miss High'n'Mighty …"

Aggravated, Weedle puffed out her chest – or whatever passed for a chest on a caterpillar, anyway. "I am _not_ 'High and Mighty'! I'll prove it to you! Watch!" She stalked over to Caterpie haughtily, taking short, confident strides.

The instant she set foot on the grass, however, a huge gust of wind whipped the forest about, blowing the twisted trees into a flashing green-and-black frenzy. The trainers' Pokemon squeaked and grabbed aimlessly at grass, rocks, anything that could keep them from flying away. As the trainers quickly recalled their Pokemon, Weedle shrieked above the howling gale, "Caterpie, what's going on?"

Rather than answering with words, Caterpie laughed evilly as a massive horde of huge, black-and-white butterfly Pokemon emerged from the shadows of nearby trees, like something from an old horror movie. Their broad, scaly wings flapped viciously, sending the wild wind to and fro, and suddenly everyone realized that those bugs were the cause of the tempest. Weedle began to tremble violently as two particularly buff Butterfree advanced toward her, stubby arms ready to grab, leering grins stretching their fanged mouths.

A melodious buzzing suddenly caused the attackers to pause. From the depths of the forest on the other side of the trail flew a contingent of large, black-and-yellow striped bee Pokemon. Each of their two skinny, silvery arms ended with a huge, conical stinger like a spear, while a third stinger protruded from their abdomens. Their thin, veined wings fluttered gracefully as they swooped to counter the foe, and their glittering ruby eyes, deeper than a bottomless hole in the ocean, roved gravely about the scene. They wasted no time in leaping at their enemies, stabbing mercilessly in the face of foes' hissing wind and insidious beams.

Then a slightly larger Beedrill and a rather obese Butterfree appeared behind their respective groups. The Beedrill swooped down into the midst of the action and grabbed the Weedle, who whimpered, "I'm s-so sorry, Daddy, the Caterpie told me—"

"It's not your fault," he replied darkly, holding his shaking daughter protectively while glaring at the sumo-sized Butterfree. "It's these bastards here who should be blamed."

"Dose insults won't be gettin' ya anywhere," the giant enemy snapped back. "I'll letcha know how dis went down. Remember da agreement? As long as ya stay on ya own side, 'n' we stay on ours, we won't be attackin' each udda. But ya daughta crossed da line ovah ta our side! Dis means war, ya buzzin' bee!"

"Well, _your_ son tricked her into doing it!" the Beedrill shot in return.

"Dat doesn't matta," Butterfree said carelessly. Caterpie crawled up next to his father and smirked superiorly at Weedle, who cringed. "It was ya side dat crossed inta our territory, so ya gotta pay da price! Boys!"

Before anyone could blink, a dozen burly Butterfree swooped down at Beedrill, firing several sticky String Shots at him, rendering him unable to flee. Beedrill looked around the scene helplessly and suddenly noticed the young humans standing nearby, who had been watching the entire scene. "Here," he gasped, as the sticky white strands squeezed his chest. With great effort, he tossed his young daughter at the group, before his arms were pinned to his sides. "Keep her safe … I won't be able to forgive myself if they manage to torture her too."

Leaf only had to stare at the flying, flailing worm Pokemon for a second, before she realized that one of those spikes could easily put out an eye. Quickly, almost without thinking, she grabbed a Poke Ball from her belt and held it in front of her protectively. As Weedle got even closer, the Poke Ball opened, sucked the bug inside, and shut with a soft snap.

One second … two … three.

A soft ding signaled Weedle's successful capture. But Leaf couldn't celebrate her first catch now, not as she watched the horde of Butterfree carry the now thoroughly encased Beedrill off into the shadows, with the enraged swarm of bee Pokemon hot on their tail. Seconds later, they were all gone, as if they had never been. All but one.

"Heh, my dad's gonna gimme a huge rahward for helpin' overthrow dose Beedrill," Caterpie laughed merrily, gazing after the battling insects in amusement. "I can't believe dat Weedle actually listened ta me. Whata sucka. Well, I should go 'n' join da party ovah in da hood—"

_Whoosh._

"What in da—" Caterpie had barely turned around when the flying red-and-white sphere closed around him, landing on the ground with a soft _thump_. One … two … three—

"Yeah! I caught a Caterpie!" Lightning cheered, doing the same victory pose as yesterday. "Let me see here … I'm gonna call him Peter!" He abruptly began to perform a mildly disturbing victory dance, shaking his hips jovially. As usual, no one paid any attention to him.

"Those Butterfree …" Leaf whispered, staring off into the depths of the forest. A bit of suspicious moisture gathered at the corners of her eyes, catching the light of the sun and making her squint. "They just … carried him away."

"I know, I know," Ocean said in a soft voice. "But that's how it is in the jungle, Leaf. Eat or be eaten. I guess the Beedrill got the short end of the stick this time."

Leaf looked back at him, examining the unusual seriousness on his face. _He's right,_ she realized. _The world's not a safe place. What if I had been in Weedle's place? What if no one was going to sacrifice themselves for me?_ Taking a deep breath, she nodded and said, "I don't think we can do much here, we should go on. I think I'll call Weedle Cheri, it sort of fits."

"It works," Ocean acknowledged, giving the shadows of the trees a final glance before walking over to Lightning, bashing him on his blond head in an effort to return him to his senses.

"One day I'll come back," Leaf declared softly, turning her gaze toward her newly occupied Poke Ball. "Someday when I've gotten stronger, I'm going to return to this place. And when I do, Cheri, I'll help you win your father back."

With that said, she began tiptoeing carefully towards her companions, avoiding the drying, sticky white strings which littered the road.

* * *

_(I haven't seen too many fics where the main character actually bothers to catch one of the regional worms ... :/ Hm.)_


	7. The Rampage

Chapter Seven: The Rampage (Enter Breeder Gina! Defeat of Godzilla?)

Covered in bruises, charred from a painful jolt of electricity, and struggling to keep a violently thrashing Poke Ball from falling off his belt, Cobalt finally stumbled out of the forest only to instantly crash face first into a tree. He attempted to pull his face away, but the extremely sticky sap which coated its bark refused to give. _I know my face is appealing, but this is ridiculous._ He yanked and tugged as hard as his neck muscles would allow, but it seemed that his doom was to be biologically chained to it for the rest of his life.

"In my opinion, a guy who can't keep himself from getting attached to a tree is in desperate need of a life," said an all-too-familiar voice above him.

_Damn, that had better not be _her_._

A slender hand mysteriously appeared out of nowhere and slapped him on his free cheek with the force of two jet planes colliding. Reflexively he jerked sharply away, and was surprised to find himself no longer connected to the tree. _Girls must have all the answers to life,_ he mused to himself, rubbing his now red cheek, before remembering why he had jerked in the first place. Cautiously he looked over his shoulder to see a rather short young woman about his age, wearing a red tank top, a golden miniskirt, and a slight frown. Her shoulder-length coppery hair framed her attractive face and square jaw.

_Crap, it IS her. Well, living around rabid fangirls has prepared me for this moment. In a situation like this, there is only one rational solution that a red-blooded Kantoan can make_. "RUN AWAAAAAAAY!" he screamed, breaking into a frantic sprint to get far from the scene, only to trip and fall over her outstretched, sandal-clad foot. He gasped in surprise as his face slammed into the ground, and he spit out several blades of grass indignantly.

"Daddy always said you were a flighty one, Cobalt," she sighed, placing the foot on his back. "Anyway, I'm supposed to help you with catching this 'shiny Lapras' thing. You sure this isn't one of your overdue April Fool's jokes?"

"I'm sure, Gina," he replied sourly, and she removed her foot, allowing him to roll over and sit up. Squinting in the light of the midday sun, he glared at her. "But the Boss sent you to accompany me? That's more like the joke."

"Daddy has very good judgment," she told him serenely, eyeing him carefully.

"I thought so, too, until you became an admin," he snapped back, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. "Now, if you don't mind, I have a horde of newbies to spy on." He turned and began walking away.

"Um, hello? I told you I was coming with you," Gina said, catching up with him. "Learn to listen to people, Cobalt. Say, what's your actual name? Have you _ever_ told anyone?"

"Besides the Boss, nobody. And it's a good thing I haven't, believe me." The young man moodily stuck his hands into his jean pockets and walked faster.

"Don't leave me behind!" she whined, stepping into line with him again. "Anyway, it's an assignment. And you know better than to ignore an assignment from Daddy."

Cobalt growled in displeasure, but refrained from speeding up even more. "True. Might as well learn to endure this, I guess. What's your latest breeding project?"

Gina beamed at the direction the conversation was taking. "Currently I'm working on the Bellsprout line. I've been trying to find a way to breed Dragon Pulse onto them, but I haven't had much luck so far."

"It better not end like the Dugtrio incident last month …" Cobalt said warningly.

"Oh, it won't. Besides, how was I supposed to know that Fire Blasting mole mutants don't mix with gasoline? Anyway, what've you been up to?"

"The usual, obviously. Steal, lie through your teeth, stay incredibly famous outside of Rocket. Repeat."

"Sounds like fun. Why do you wear wigs again?"

"To stay undercover, obviously. If someone saw my real hair outlining my face, I'd be instantly recognized, which is _not_ what I want. Why are you asking a lot of useless questions in order to keep this boring, pointless dialogue alive?"

"Well, I think this mission's going take a while, meaning that we'll have to be together for ages, so I just thought we could make amends. Sheesh."

He rolled his eyes. "If we do our job right, it _shouldn't_ take a while."

"Yeah, but just in case—"

"There's no point to that anyway. This is business."

"But business is borrrrrrinnnnnng," Gina pouted, sticking out her lower lip like a small child attempting to wheedle some ice cream away from a reluctant old man. "It's better to have fun."

Cobalt rolled his eyes. This was going to be one of _those_ days.

* * *

As Leaf began tracing several numbers in the dirt with a long stick, Frosti facepalmed. "This is going to be one of those days," he sighed.

"Well, too bad. Somebody already used that line. I've got this pep talk to give everyone while there's no Lightning-related distractions, so please shut it. Now listen up, team," the young trainer barked, tossing the stick away and beginning to pace back and forth in front of her ragtag band of Pokemon. "We are going to be a _strong_ team, we will _crush_ everyone who dares to challenge us, you will _merciless destructors_ in battle, and we are going to have FUN while we're at it! Got it?"

"I need to pee," Paris whimpered, wiggling uncomfortably.

Leaf stopped pacing and looked over at her makings of a team: Frosti, looking very bored; Swampert, who was stretched out on the long grass snoring, the scar on his chest not yet healed; Paris, who was beginning to squeal in agony; and Cheri, whose expression was still frozen in a mixture of guilt and horror. In short, none of them, not even Swampert, looked the least bit formidable, as opposed to the stone gray buildings sitting several hundred yards behind them. The gloomy Pewter Gym loomed above all other structures, as if mocking the many young trainers it had brutally defeated. _Am I really ready for this? _she wondered. _I'm not sure I have what it takes to keep a bunch of destructive monsters in line._ Aloud, she said, "Yes, Paris, run over to those bushes over there."

"Okay, Mommy!" The young Lapras practically flew into the nearby bushes, showing surprising speed for her age.

"Aw, she's such a sweetie. Now as I was saying, our first task is to take out Brock. He's the first gym leader, and he likes using rock Pokemon for some reason. So here's the plan: first, I'll send out Cheri—"

"Why?" Frosti asked incredulously, raising an imaginary eyebrow. "Bug is weak to rock, she'll get slaughtered."

"Silly Frosti, you've got it all wrong. Rock is weak to bug, because bugs can crawl on rocks. It all has to do with logic; at least, that's what Fire told me, and of course he'd know. Anyway, if the situation ends up looking _really_ bad, I'll send out Swampert, but hopefully that won't happen. He's got plenty of experience already, so you, Cheri, and Paris are my priority at this point. As it is—"

"YOU!"

Leaf spun around in surprise. "Wha—"

"You I challenge, noob!" screeched a short, capped boy who was running out of the forest, bright eyes glinting eagerly. "To a Pokemon battle, you I challenge!"

"And you I think is an idiot," Leaf replied smoothly, her astonishment swiftly vanishing. "You know, you're the ninth kid I've run into today. And you look exactly like all the others. Even the same face, which, I might add, makes me lose my appetite. What kind of conspiracy can we possibly have on our hands?"

"Your weird words I am offended by," the kid said haughtily. "My Pokemon you shall be slaughtered by. Caterpie, you I choose! Fight, my Pokemon is!"

"And you even have the exact same Pokemon as the others," Leaf sighed as a worm-like Pokemon materialized in a beam of neon-red light. "I'm getting a bit tired of it. Frosti, Ember!"

Not even bothering to move from his position, Frosti yawned lazily, sending a few flickering flames from his mouth flying at the Caterpie. The attack met its mark easily; Caterpie didn't even have time to squeal before it collapsed.

"You, I lost to?" the kid gasped, recalling his green bug. "Shame I now have. By a noob I have been crushingly defeated."

"Stop talking like that! And stop calling me a noob!" Leaf snarled irritably. "It's only my second day on the road. Real noobs end up giving up on their first and whine about how they haven't seen a Secloven yet. And—" she paused to glance at her Pokedex, which showed her foe's Pokemon's level despite snoring loudly. "It's at level ten! Why the hell is it still a Caterpie?"

Flustered, the kid stomped off back into the forest, not giving her a backward glance.

"Little brat," Frosti chuckled, examining his small claws idly. "He should've realized what he was in for."

Just before the kid vanished altogether, he pushed two shadowy figures out of his way moodily. The strong sunlight revealed them to be Ocean and Lightning, squinting in the sudden brightness.

"Some expedition that turned out to be," Ocean sighed, kicking a rock carelessly through the grass and inadvertently sending it toward the kid's head, causing the kid to flop forward, unconscious. "No rare Pokemon. I was absolutely _sure_ there'd be some."

"Well, that's why they're called 'rare Pokemon'," Lightning said sensibly, the small electric mouse on his shoulder nodding in agreement. "It's because they're _rare_."

"But I'm a _collector_," the definitely taller boy whined. "Rare Pokemon always show up for collectors, it's practically _tradition_."

"Hi, Mommy! I finished peeing!" Paris squealed happily, scampering over. She was proudly clutching an unconscious Caterpie in her mouth. Tossing it to the ground, she explained, "And he was being a meanie, so I hurt him. And I think he died. Is he dead, Mommy? And can I eat him?"

"No, Paris, he's just fainted because you're so awesome. But I think you should let him go, since you beat him already."

"Oh, fine," the young Lapras sighed, dropping the insect, resulting in a very audible _thump_ in the long green grass.

"Leaf, you didn't already fight Brock already, right?" Lightning asked, a bit worriedly. "I need ideas for the Contest coming up, and I want to watch your battle."

"Don't worry, I haven't yet. C'mon, guys, let's head to the gym. I can't wait to give Brock a taste of Swampert."

Everyone else sweatdropped at this remark.

"I'd prefer a taste of Lightning, myself," Peach commented with a giggle.

_I'm surrounded by insane people,_ Leaf groaned inwardly.

* * *

After wandering through endless neighborhoods and down a short walkway lined with boulders, the stony face of Pewter Gym soon loomed above them. Leaf nervously looked over her shoulder at the boys for support. Lightning shrugged, obviously a bit unnerved himself, but Ocean nodded and winked, making a definite "go on" gesture with his hands. Leaf sighed, turned back to the gym, and braced herself. Her slender hand reached forward to grasp the doorknob, preparing to open the door to her destiny—

—but definitely not preparing for it to slam into her face, knocking her down to the hard ground.

"What the HELL was that for?" she yelled angrily, glaring up into the condescending face of Fire. "You can't just slam doors into people, it's just not right."

"Yeah, she was having an emotional moment," Ocean said, helping her to her feet. "_And_ you hurt a girl, which is not polite. Therefore, I challenge you to a battle!"

"Pfft. Screw courtesy," Fire snarled, a superior smirk on his face. "I just pounded Brock into the dirt, so I don't think it would be a good idea to—"

"Well, screw your arrogance," Ocean shot back. "Send out your Pokemon!"

"You never cease to sicken me. Drowzee, get at him!"

The mutated elephant appeared at his trainer's heels, holding a shining gray octagon in its three-fingered hand. After tenderly placing it into Fire's outstretched palm, Drowzee waddled in front of his trainer, facing the Pokemon which was materializing before it.

Until the huge, spiky, green dinosaur was plainly visible to see.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Drowzee shrieked in terror, cowering at the sight of Tyran. "The powers of darkness overwhelm my superior cranial capacity, master!"

"RAAAAAWWWWWR! EAT YER _MOM'S_ DREAMS, MAGGOT!" Tyran roared, baring his decidedly horrific claws. His bone-white fangs gleamed as he leaned far forward, catching Drowzee in a painful Bite. It was quickly followed by another, more savage one, shedding a few drops of Drowzee's dark orange blood. Fire gasped in shock, his eyes going wide from surprise as he stood there, frozen.

"Okay, that's enough! Now cut it out!" Ocean yelled, tugging at Tyran's tail. The dinosaur, however, whipped it wildly about, sending the young trainer flying several yards before crash-landing directly on top of Leaf, who howled in rage as she hit the ground again.

"WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO DO HERE?" she screeched, leaping back onto her feet and adjusting her white, wide-brimmed hat. "HAS KNOCKING ME INTO THE GROUND BECOME AN INTERNATIONAL SPORT, OR WHAT?"

Ocean's stuttered apology was cut off by a sickening series of snapping noises. Sharp squeals of pain could be heard from Drowzee as Tyran tossed him up in the air and caught him with a loud crunch several times, each time switching between a flashing Fire Fang, Ice Fang, Thunder Fang—

"WHAT'S THE COMMOTION?"

Everyone froze and swiveled around to see who had bellowed so loudly. Standing in the doorway of Pewter Gym stood a spiky-haired teenager wearing baggy grayish-brown pants, a black shirt and a gray-and-orange vest. His permanently squinting eyes were apparently roving about the scene. His gaze shifted from Tyran, who almost guiltily let go of Drowzee, to Ocean, who seemed to shrink a little under the piercing gaze.

"Oh crap, not the rock specialist. Gotta get outta here," Tyran muttered, turning and bolting down the road.

"STOP RIGHT NOW!" the gym leader roared. When the dinosaur refused to comply, he turned to the others anxiously. "I'm Brock, but screw greetings for right now," he said shortly. "We've got to catch him before he destroys the whole city. Hurry!"

Immediately the humans sprinted after Tyran, sneakers flying down the hot pavement. The small tremors caused by the Tyranitar's stomps caused several residents to open their doors or windows in annoyance, only to gasp and stare in terror at the sight of the beast.

Frosti, Hideki, and Drowzee were quickly left in the dust. The unnatural-looking pig creature trembled as he backed into the cool shade, just inside the gym. "I shall not proceed into the face of danger," he croaked, tenderly touching the spots where fangs had punctured his oily skin.

"C'mon, coward!" Frosti snapped, grabbing Drowzee's trunk and pulling ferociously. "We need to get out there and help them!" Hideki nodded in agreement, and proceeded to tug at one of Drowzee's legs.

"That demon has a dark vibration surrounding it," Drowzee squealed nasally, his pained face comically stretched by Frosti's futile efforts.

"Well, no duh. It's a _dark_ type."

"I am too important for such base matters!" the strange pig protested.

"Bull!" Hideki shouted.

Both Frosti and Drowzee stopped their variation of tug-of-war, looking down at the small, freckled, turquoise toad. Hideki shrugged, turned around, and attempted to scamper off towards the running humans in spite of the huge bulb on his back weighing him down.

"Well, it's _your_ 'Master' on the line, if worst comes to worst," Frosti said crossly, letting go of Drowzee and sending him tumbling backwards into the gym. After wiping the grease from his paws on a nearby boulder, disgust coloring his face, he darted off after the others.

Picking himself up, Drowzee peered out at Tyran, who had just turned a corner and vanished from sight. "Ohhhhh," he muttered, wringing his hands fearfully. Timidly, he stepped through the tall doorway, squinting in the strong light. "I do not like this, not at all … but Master comes first, yes he does! Fear not, Master, I come to you!"

Shivering slightly, he waddled down the rocky walkway, towards the wide concrete road.

* * *

The humans, in the meantime, had been rapidly falling behind the behemoth. Beads of perspiration clung to their bright red faces as they uselessly chased after Tyran, turning one corner, two, three, four, seven. Soon exhaustion overtook them, and they collapsed into a comical pile onto the burning pavement. _I've gotta actually exercise sometime_, Leaf said inwardly, lifting her head and getting a glimpse of Tyran lumbering further and further ahead.

"We need to get him really angry," Brock panted, wiping a liquid film of sweat from his brow. "Then he'll turn around and try to attack us. It's extremely risky, but it has to be done or else he'll end up destroying the whole city."

"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard in my entire life," Fire snarled, picking himself up and staring down in disgust at the others.

"Do you have a better idea?" Brock snarled back.

Fire wisely decided not to answer that question. Instead, he squinted in the light of the burning sun, watching Tyran stomp away.

"How are we gonna do that, though?" Lightning asked feverishly, his voice rising to almost a shriek from anxiety. Peach, still standing on his shoulder, patted his ear and looked out at the disappearing Tyranitar, worry shining in her usually mischievous eyes.

"I know how," Leaf gasped, her tired words laced with grim recognition. Gritting her teeth, she reached into her yellow handbag and, wonder of wonders, pulled the Pokedex out.

"_Hey, hey, hey! What're you doin', Naaaarrrrrrrgh? You just interrupted my beauty sleep, naughty girl. You're gonna hear it from me, believe it, so—"_

"Dex entry, _now_," Leaf growled, turning the Pokedex's volume to full blast and pointing it at the vanishing monster down the road.

"_MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM SO FULL OF POWER! THANKS, NAAAARRRRRRRGH! OH, LOOK, A TYRANITAR, WHAT FUN. IF I HAD KNUCKLES, I'D BE CRACKIN' 'EM. TYRANITAR, THE BUTT-UGLY POKEMON."_

Tyran, who had almost turned yet another corner, spun around with the speed of lightning, his spiky tail obliterating several houses in a shower of pastel-painted splinters. "_WHAT_ DID YOU PEOPLE JUST CALL ME?" he roared menacingly, his beady eyes narrowing into slits of hatred as he ominously took a few steps towards the fear-stricken humans sprawled on the pavement.

"_YOU HEARD ME!"_ the Pokedex roared back, seeming not to care that Tyran's slow, angry walk was turning into a quicker, raging march. _"ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING? DON'T INTERRUPT ME WHILE I'M ENTERTAINING MYSELF. WHERE WAS I? OH, YES, I REMEMBER NOW. GENDER IS MALE, THOUGH BY THE WAY IT ACTS YOU WOULDN'T THINK SO. HEIGHT IS GODZILLA, WEIGHT IS A NUMBER OF TONS THAT WOULD MAKE A WAILORD CRINGE. TYRANITAR ARE VERY SELFISH, ARROGANT BRUTES WHO ARE CONVINCED THAT THEY CAN BEAT ANYONE – ALTHOUGH IT'S OBVIOUS THAT I COULD KICK THAT ONE'S ASS ANY DAY NOW."_

Tyran was beginning to sprint now, a malicious fire blazing in his eyes. Inside their houses, the civilians clung to each other tightly, fearing the fury of the monster.

"Okay, that's enough," Leaf yelled over the crunching of pavement breaking under the behemoth's rocky feet. She turned it back to its normal volume as she released her Pokemon. On either side of her, her companions did the same, although exactly which ones they released she couldn't see.

"_Awww, but I wasn't done yet, Naaaarrrrrrrgh,"_ the Pokedex pouted, before Leaf stuffed it back into her handbag.

The humans got to their feet as Tyran stomped closer and closer until he was finally only about five yards away. In spite of that distance, they could still smell his putrid breath as he leaned in their direction, hissing dangerously, "Nobody, _nobody_, pisses me off, kiddos. If you really want to play, you'll have to do it my way." Beads of greenish saliva dripped from his gaping, fanged mouth, which he was menacingly opening wide. Dirt and small pebbles began to spin around his feet, growing thicker and thicker before rising into the air in a fearsome sandstorm.

"Swampert, Paris, shoot him with water attacks!" Leaf cried, her voice nearly drowned out by Tyran's howling roar. Paris opened her mouth and spat out a small jet of water, while her father lifted his thick blue arms. Water seemingly appeared from nowhere, spinning around his arms faster and faster, before he pointed his clenched fists at Tyran, sending the spinning cyclone flying towards him. Tyran easily dodged the Water Gun, but was swiftly caught in Swampert's Whirlpool. He howled as the water splashed against his hard skin, soaking it and doing considerable damage. The sandstorm was still going strong, however, and everyone winced as small, sharp rocks sliced into them.

"Peach, Volt Tackle!" Lightning yelled, coughing as the sky began to turn a dirty tan color.

"Rosa, Uproar!"

"Onix, Rock Throw!"

"This is stupid. Squirtle, do a Bubble or something."

Squirtle looked up at Tyran, shivered, and spat out a tiny, shimmering bubble, which floated for a second before popping uselessly. Brock's huge, gray, stony snake bit down hard on the hard pavement, grabbed a chunk in her mouth, and tossed it at Tyran, slamming into his spiked head and doing a fair amount of damage. Rosa the Spinda grinned drunkenly, opened her mouth, and released a horrible, ongoing shriek, causing Tyran to begin shuddering in mental agony. In an incredible, dazzling blaze of electricity, Peach leapt from Lightning's shoulder and flew into the whirling hurricane, striking Tyran efficiently. The crackling bolts of lightning coursed wildly throughout the whirlpool, transforming it into a gigantic, glowing, golden wheel of thunder, with Tyran and Peach in the middle.

Tyran emitted an unbearably earsplitting scream, causing dozens of windows up and down the block to shatter, and even Rosa had to stop what she was doing in order to cover her long, reddish ears. The monster writhed and convulsed as hundreds of electric tendrils flowed in and out of his rocky skin, and his half-shut eyes began to flutter weakly. The sandstorm ceased as abruptly as it had begun, as the dust and gravel suddenly acknowledged the pull of gravity, creating a gritty coat of dirt on the road. As Tyran began to sway back and forth weakly, Peach sprung onto his head, grinned devilishly, and laughed, "Oh, when will you retards learn not to mess with a Pichu? Because Pichu – always – wins!"

Tyran merely responded with a loud groan. Rosa chuckled nervously, muttered "Twentyshotsofvodkaplease", and fell backwards, fast asleep and snoring loudly.

What happened next came so fast that there was no time to blink. With a final shudder, Tyran's eyes rolled back into his head, and he plummeted forward in a dull green blur. If someone had been standing directly in front of him, he or she would have been smashed into the road by Tyran's impressive weight.

Unfortunately there _was_ someone standing directly before him: Leaf.

"Mommy!" Paris shrieked as she watched Tyran topple through the powerful wheel of lightning, his limp body falling into her trainer. As for Leaf herself, there was barely any time to scream, much less react in an appropriate manner. A single thought flashed through her head, calm and grim: _I'm going to die_.

An explosion of pain, a sickening thud, snatches of horrified shouts, and then—

Darkness.

* * *

"Mom!" Fystor called, emerging finally into the pitch-black chamber. She bent over, placing her clawed hands on her knees as she sighed in relief. The Celestial Stairs were a strange structure, which never seemed to extend through the same time-space segment twice. Two days of climbing this thing was nothing: she still felt the nasty repercussions of that one time nearly a century ago, where it had taken three _years_ to climb that bloody thing. By the time she'd returned, the humans' war had died out, and valiant patriotism had died with it.

"Mom!" she yelled again. "The Twins are screwing around again. I think they're actually gunning for the end of the world this time, and—"

"Stop shouting, Fystor," a voice called out of the darkness. "We can hear you just fine. Anyway, how many times have they tried to set the Apocalypse in motion – a hundred? A couple thousand? There's no reason this one should succeed."

Fystor sighed. "Should've expected you'd be here, Shaymin. But were _you_ expecting the Lord of Evil to rise again?"

A scoffing noise. "No."

"Funny, because the Twins were."

Something rumbled. "Thou art serious?" another voice asked, deep and pure as a large bell.

"I wish I weren't, Mom."

"Dammit," Shaymin snarled. "Not that asshole again. I'm so sick of him …"

"We must strive to cast him down," the Mother said gravely. "For verily, if this is not so, then all mine creations shall dwindle and perish in everlasting woe …"


	8. Leaf Gets a Little Boulder

This is where the chapters start getting long ... :o

* * *

Chapter Eight: Leaf Gets A Little Boulder (Fate Of Pewter Gym! Of Recoveries and Burglaries!)

_Floating … am I floating? Lot of clouds here. Dark, puffy clouds. Weird stuff. Where am I exactly?_

… _Well, I guess this isn't so bad. Being a Pikachu on drugs could be worse._

CRASH.

"OmigoshI'msososososososososososorry—"

"Shut UP!"

_Eh? What's going on?_ She blearily opened her heavy eyes, blinking the sleep away. The blurred outline of a person slowly came into focus above her. It was Brock, who sitting on a chair next to her and looking (she assumed) over her, at somebody on other side of the room.

"Oh, that's just great, you woke her up. Nice going, Lightning."

"It's not _my_ fault that it was there," came Lightning's voice, which was pouting. "It just got in my way, and … I fell."

An exasperated sigh. "It was a door. You tripped over a _door_, Lightning. Seriously, how are you going to coordinate your Pokemon if you can't even coordinate your own feet?"

"Depends on how big his feet are," Leaf mumbled.

"LEAF! You're finally awake!" Lightning yelled excitedly, earning him another glare from Brock. He darted into view, Peach on his shoulder as usual. He suddenly swept her into a tight hug, crushing the air out of her lungs. "It's so cool that you're alive, still!"

"I g-guess," Leaf choked out. "Now c-can you get off m-me?"

Grinning embarrassedly, Lightning released his grip, causing Leaf to gasp in relief. "Sorry. But what happened was so intense! That Tyranitar was completely _destroyed_ by us! And we're just noobs, still! We are gonna be such awesome trainers, aren't we?"

"Sure, sure. Where am I?" she asked, sitting up and looking around curiously. She was laying in some small, linen-covered bed, surrounded on all four sides by plain, off-white walls, lined with cabinets covered in various metallic instruments. The sterile, Lysol-scented air made her wrinkle her nose in distaste. Looking down at herself, she noticed that she was in a white hospital gown, which was uncomfortably scratchy.

"Pewter's Pokemon Center," Brock replied. "They handle this sort of emergency better than the normal hospitals do. I had to pull a lot of strings to get you in here, though. But damn, they do the job quick. The whole doctoring operation thing only took a couple minutes."

Tentatively, Leaf lifted one of her legs slightly into the air, and was rewarded with the sight of her foot, pushed back by the thin blanket on top of her. "Feels great," she said, grinning. "Where's Ocean and Fire? Have they come in here yet?"

Brock stiffened at the mention of the two boys. "That … is a long story. We'll tell you about it a bit later."

Leaf frowned. _Are the two of them okay?_ she wondered worriedly. "Alright, I guess I can wait. How long do I have to stay in here?"

"You can leave right now, if you want. Nurse Joy says that everything's been all taken care of already. Except for the fact that your outfit was kind of torn up beyond repair yesterday when the Tyranitar fell on you, but the nurse said you can grab something from the Lost and Found. Your handbag and Poke Balls were fine, though."

"Really? Wow, that's … convenient. In a kind of anticlimactic, unexciting way."

"Well, it is a hospital," Lightning said reasonably. "Things involving them do tend to be unexciting and boring."

Brock gave him a sideways glance (possibly). "You've never watched _Grey's Anatomy_, have you?"

"I don't know about Grey, but the only anatomy I'm interesting in watching is Lightning's," Peach giggled, causing Leaf to sweatdrop.

"Ooh, are you leaving already?" the slender, pink-haired nurse at the front desk asked as the trio of humans came into the lobby. Seeing as her outfit had been utterly destroyed yesterday, Leaf had been forced to borrow a pair of extremely skinny lime-green sweatpants, bright orange high heels, and an unbelievably large yellow T-shirt dotted with ketchup stains.

_These were not lost on accident,_ Leaf snarled mentally, wriggling her toes in the biting high heels. _What's_ really _sad is that this was the best they had to offer._ Aloud she said, "Yeah, it's time to go. Thank you for helping me, Nurse Joy."

"Oh, you're welcome, Leaf!" the nurse giggled annoyingly, handing something to her. "Here are your Poke Balls. I took the liberty of making your Pokemon feel all better. We just hope you enjoyed your stay at the Pokemon Center, and we hope to see you again!"

Frosti was immediately released from his Poke Ball. He took one look at Leaf and collapsed on the floor, laughing hysterically. "That," he wheezed, pointing at her clothes, "is without a doubt the _worst_ selection of clothes that I have ever seen in my entire young life! I mean, I'm glad that you're fine, but WOW!"

"Thanks for that. Wait a minute … what d'you mean, 'you hope to see me again'? Are you hoping I'll get crushed by a Wailord next time, or what?"

"Well, thanks again, Nurse," Brock said, beaming and blowing the nurse a kiss as he hastily ushering a steaming Leaf out the revolving door.

The second they stepped outside of the Pokemon Center, illuminated in the late morning sun, Leaf suddenly shrieked and clutched at her handbag protectively. "I can't be seen like this!" she screamed, darting across the street towards a clothing store. As she flew over the pavement, nearly getting flattened by a honking motorcycle, several passersby turned to gawk at her atrocious getup.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Lightning cleared his throat and stated, "Well, I'm glad I'm not a girl."

* * *

"There it is," Cobalt said softly, pointing around the bush at the large brown building some hundred yards away. A couple of guards sleepily patrolled nearby. "The museum. Everyone except for those losers is out to lunch. With any luck I can grab something ridiculously valuable from there."

"We could've stolen the girl's Lapras by now," Gina muttered, polishing one of her Poke Balls lazily.

"Yes, but I don't believe in stealing Pokemon from people who are unconscious and/or dead. Believe it or not, I actually have some morals."

"That's a laugh. We're in _Team Rocket_. We shun morals like the plague."

Cobalt blushed, but said nothing. Instead, he simply pushed his dorkishly large sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose, nearly slicing them into his face. A stupid explanation like morals was better than the truth. He couldn't bring himself to explain that the girl's predicament had awoken some sort of dormant emotion inside him. What was it called again? Pity? He hadn't tasted pity in years. It sort of ached, like invisible ropes keeping one from doing one's duty. Cobalt clenched his fists angrily. Empathy shouldn't stand in the way of achieving the goal … the ultimate goal. To see _it_ again …

"Cobalt?"

He jumped in surprise. Gina was staring at him, a concerned expression shaping on her face. "You okay? You were kind of looking stupid."

"I'm fine," he muttered, getting to his feet with a grunt and shifting his canvas bag further up his arm, until it hung from his shoulder. He glanced at the windows nearest to the ground, which were on the third floor. "How do I look?" he asked absently, not particularly caring about what the answer might be.

Gina's bored gaze roamed over his new wig, a waist-length mane of tangled black hair. "Like a retarded DJ."

"Excellent. Now, here's the plan. I have to sneak in there, because that's what cool people do. So I need a Pokemon to make a distraction. Then I'll walk right in, take something valuable, and walk out. Simple enough."

"Why can't _I_ come?" Gina pouted, sticking her upper lip out.

"Well, you _could_, technically … but I don't think 'Daddy' would like it if you got caught if you trip over something in a completely conspicuous way. Remember last time, when I took you out to bomb the S.S. Anne?"

"It wasn't my fault!" the girl cried indignantly. "The weird captain guy was barfing all over the place! Of _course_ I was going to slip on it!"

"Yeah? And what if one of the skeletons in the museum vomits for some reason?"

"… Skeletons don't vomit."

"I'm being hypothetical. Pop quiz: if a skeleton vomited, would you run, scream, just stand there, or snap a picture?"

Gina tapped her fingers against her chin thoughtfully. "Probably … all of them?"

Cobalt facefaulted, but held onto his last thread of patience. "That was a trick question. Duh. You're supposed to roll off to the side, or jump, depending on whether it's flying high or low. Of course, if you'd been crawling on the ceiling like you were supposed to, you wouldn't have to deal with this problem."

"Can you _please_ stop lecturing me?" Gina sighed, exasperated. "Just go on ahead and get something without me, won't you?"

"Of course. Ohhhh, snap, I almost forgot. I need to borrow one of your Pokemon for the distraction."

Gina rolled her eyes. "Can't you use Bulbasaur?"

"Dunno," Cobalt snapped sarcastically, releasing a beam of red light to condense into a very angry toad creature. "Hey, Bulbasaur. If I asked you to do a really big favor for me, and for Gina, and for everybody back at base, and for all the good people in the world, and for that retard who got to the Charmander before I did, would you put aside our differences for once and let everybody in the world be friends, and dance through pretty clouds of rainbows and stolen bags of money from ninety-seven different countries, not counting Mexico?"

"… What the fricking hell? The damn answer is no, even though I have absolutely no idea what the damn hell you just said."

"Watch your damn language. Anyway, Gina, there's your answer: no. Now, which of yours are you going to lend me?"

Gina sighed and crossed her arms. "You'd want a sneaky distraction, so Qwerty's not an option. As for the other two, Sprouty's a bit weak, and Belly's … not exactly good at maneuvering. So I can't lend you anything."

"Great." Cobalt recalled Bulbasaur moodily, gritting his teeth. "Another intensely cool operation down the drain. I guess I could find—"

"Somebody to help? 'Cause I can!"

Cobalt jumped in shock and swiveled to see who had spoken. A small, furry, pale yellow head was sticking from the bush, decorated with two small pointed ears. Wide red eyes gazed at them in curiosity, and a couple of huge, sharp teeth protruded from the upper jaw.

"I wanna help!" the Pokemon chirped excitedly, and her long, serpentine, quadruped body slithered out of the bush. "I'll help you steal stuff because stealing is so cool! Because yesterday I stole a bunch of eggs from a Pidgeotto's nest! He was pretty mad at me so I laughed at him. What are you gonna steal? Is it gonna be some huge Wailord egg! That would be epic. I'll help you eat it if you want. Just lemme have the yolk, m'kay? I like juicy stuff like yolks. Mmm."

The two humans blinked a couple of times. "I'm not entirely sure whether that thing is adorable or disgusting," Gina contemplated aloud, her eyes traveling over the Pokemon's wagging, pointed tail.

"It's a Phrygoil," Cobalt breathed, less from awe than from utter disbelief. "You don't see a lot of those in Kanto."

"That's 'cause Kanto doesn't have as many McDonald's. Kerothyu has lots, though. We lurrrrrrve McDonald's food. It's all greasy and chewy and flabby and mmmmmm."

"Um, okay …?"

"So if I help you, can you gimme a lot of McDonald's food? Because I lurrrrve—"

"Yes, yes, of course," Cobalt said tiredly, waving at the museum vaguely. "If you betray me I will personally kill you."

The Phrygoil was off in a flash. For a moment Cobalt wondered if he'd actually managed to scare the thing, and puffed himself up proudly. However, he deflated a bit when he noticed that the Pokemon quickly caught one guard in a Wrap, squeezing consciousness out of him, while freezing the other one with a Leer. "C'mon, Weird Hair Guy!" she called back, not taking her glaring eyes from the guard's terrified face. "I'll hold them off as long as you need me to!"

Cobalt exchanged a bemused glance with Gina before darting towards the museum, skipping over patches of grass dotting the walkway toward it. He pushed the unlocked double doors out of his way and entered the high-ceilinged entry hall, which boasted a much-larger-than-normal Aerodactyl skeleton hanging from the ceiling on thin cables, clawed wings powerless to fly from its awkward position. Cobalt ignored it, crossed the hall to a gallery, and walked quickly up and down aisles of various junk, including a Clefairy tooth. The sickeningly sweet smell of dry wood stung his nose, and he sneezed as quietly as he could.

_Nothing but crap here,_ he thought to himself, passing a huge exhibit of a space shuttle without a second glance. _Wonder why they'd bother hiring guards to keep this stuff safe in the first place._

Then he froze.

A Moon Stone the size of his head, shielded by glass, sat directly before him on a pedestal bolted to the ground. The dents in the gray stone caught light and threw it back in various directions, creating a sparkling, shimmering array of glory.

"That," Cobalt breathed quietly, taking a few steps forward, "is a very pretty piece of crap. I must have it."

He reached into his pockets and pulled out a screwdriver. Twisting it carefully in his hands, he knelt down, unscrewed the bolts, and very carefully lifted the pedestal. There, sitting quietly in a hole in the knotted wood floor, sat a tangle of red and black wires reaching up into the pedestal's base: the alarm system, meant to sound if the glass was touched. A quick flip of the switch later, and it suddenly became harmless. Putting the pedestal back, Cobalt screwed the bolts back in, smirking.

"This is just too easy," he chuckled.

He returned the screwdriver to its pocket, pulling out a pocketknife instead. He scraped its sharp edge along the bottom of the glass, severing its connection to the wood. After putting the knife back, he picked up the partial cube of glass, set it carefully on the floor, and scooped the shining Moon Stone into his bag. Grinning wider than before, he placed a note on the spot where it had stood second before:

_This exhibit has been removed due to cleaning purposes._

_It will be returned to its proper location shortly._

_-Pewter Museum of Science Staff_

"If there were cameras in this place, the people watching them would have to applaud me for my wondrous theft," he said to himself, replacing the glass. "Maybe even give me a couple Oscars for that. And after I've served my time, I've suddenly been magically transported to Goldenrod Studios, and I'm in all the awesome movies. And I'm always playing the part of the ruthless but sexy burglar who murders people for no reason, and gets arrested by has a ridiculously hot Officer Jenny, who I seduce from behind the bars and thus gets her badge taken away and decides to come and rescue me, but I decide — yeesh, run-on sentences. Gotta stop rambling."

Taking a step back, he glanced over it once more, tried to find the thin line where he had cut the glass away, and failed. He swelled in pride and peeked into his bag at the Moon Stone as he swiveled around to leave.

Unfortunately for him, he tripped ungracefully on an uneven floor tile.

And smashed even more ungracefully through an exhibit displaying a variety of ancient toothpicks.

BRRAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAaaaaaAAAAA

_Crap_.

A bit shakily, he leapt to his feet and bolted for the main doors, but skidded to a halt when about thirty police officers burst through them, grim determination sketched onto their faces. "Damn toothpicks always thwarting my plans," he muttered. He looked up at the Aerodactyl fossil, then at the window high above it. Instantly, he knew what he had to do.

He took hold of the fossil's clawed feet and, ignoring the outraged cries from the police, darted up its back lightly enough to prevent it from breaking. As he gained momentum, he noticed something shiny sitting in the Aerodactyl's skull. _Might as well snatch that too_, he thought greedily, and managed to crouch down, reach through the skull's huge eye socket, and pull out the shiny object, all without slowing his pace. He barely glanced at it as he shoved it into his bag; his eyes were only for the window several feet in front of him. As he tensed his muscles a little for the jump, he thought, _Groudon help me._

Then he leapt.

For a moment time seemed to stand still. The rest of the world had mysteriously vanished, and he and the window were the last objects in existence. Himself, moving sluggishly through the air, and the window, just sitting there, as if taunting him. _You'll never make it, you will die. It will be painful._

He squeezed his eyes shut. _Either I make it or I don't. I won't make it. I'll never see Gina or the girl or Bulbasaur again. Never see _it _again …_ The thought was unbearable.

Then something cool smashed into his head, followed by tinkling of broken glass as it shattered around his cranium. Sharp objects lodged themselves in various places on his body as it moved through the window, and despite his wincing he would have smiled in relief. However, he did not relish the idea of getting slivers of glass stuck in his gums, so he kept his lips and eyes firmly closed. Dimly, he heard cries of alarm as shards rained down on the police officers.

Finally, his head emerged into the glorious summer air. As his body followed, the sun welcomed it with strong rays of blazing light, as if in encouragement: _You_ _did_ _it_.

"I DID IT!" he yelled triumphantly, opening his eyes and ignoring the drops of blood trickling into them. He gazed up at the sun in gratitude until his eyes watered. "I REALLY DID IT! LET'S SEE WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!"

Dizzy with victory, he looked down, and the smile slid off his face as he realized that his situation was about to get a whole lot worse. He hadn't taken into account that the window was a hundred feet above the ground, nor that there would be no one to catch him. And there was the ground, rushing up at him, as if jeering: _I'm laughing. That answer your stupid question?_

"Damn it all," he muttered.

* * *

Half an hour before noon, the gang of five was sitting at a booth in a McDonald's, having an early lunch. Lightning, Peach, and Frosti were ravenously devouring several cheeseburgers, while Brock merely ate a simple salad. Leaf, in the meantime, was munching down a large batch of French fries, looking simultaneously famished and disgusted.

"I'm gonna utterly despise myself tomorrow," she sighed satisfactorily, pushing the empty, salty container away. She glanced out the window casually, and jumped in shock when, for the first time, she noticed several long, wriggling weasel-like creatures digging through a trash can on the sidewalk. One of them raised its head momentarily, its eyes crossed and glazed over in pleasure as it chewed the remains of a Big Mac, before diving back into the mess.

"Ewwwww!" Lightning edged away from the window as one of the long Pokemon leered at him.

"I'll check it out," Leaf decided, retrieving the Pokedex from her bag.

"_Well, I'll be damned! Good to see that you weren't smashed into a package of roadkill. Did I do an awesome job, or what?"_

Leaf grinned. "Yeah, you did. But right now I'm asking you to identify that pack of … things … for me, before Lightning gets a heart attack."

"_It's what I do best, I guess_." The Pokedex's false modesty was disgustingly noticeable. _"Phrygoil, the Utterly Lame Pokemon. Gender is Male-Female-Male-Female-Male-Male-Male. Sounds like a bad orgy, if you ask me. Height is Worm, Weight is Double Cheeseburger. These retards are obsessed with fast food, McDonald's in particular. Why that's the case is anyone's guess, including theirs. The IQ of an average Phrygoil is roughly equivalent to that of a McDonald's burger patty — which actually could be quite high, considering that the cow-killing guys in the meat industry don't do such a good job."_

Frosti snorted.

Leaf inadvertently giggled. Catching herself, she turned back to the boys. "So tell me, what exactly happened after Tyran crushed me?"

"He _almost_ crushed you," Lightning corrected, swallowing another mouthful of cheeseburger. "If it hadn't been for — Brock, push your, er, eyes back in your head!"

"Soooooo sexy …" Brock rasped, drooling, still unable to tear his eyes (assuming that he had them) away from Leaf's body. Apparently her new jeans and black tank top were doing an excellent job of turning young men into slobbering idiots.

"She's okay, I guess," Frosti said, shrugging as he slapped Brock in the back of the head with a shimmering Iron Tail. The attack caused the gym leader's eyes to pop open (apparently he really did have them). They were huge, their small pupils standing out creepily against the whites.

"I said push your eyes _back in_ your head!" Lightning said, making a disgusted face.

"Sorry," Brock muttered sheepishly, poking his eyes back behind his eyelids. "It's just that no one's ever seen my eyes before … people keep saying that I have no eyes, which is fine with me for some reason … don't tell anyone, alright?"

"You have my word," Leaf rasped, gagging.

"Anywhere, where was I?" Lightning asked himself thoughtfully, rubbing Peach's head absentmindedly. "Oh yeah, I remember now. Tyran _almost_ crushed you. A lot of stuff happened while you were out cold…"

As the story was told, the memory resurfaced in the boys' minds …

* * *

"LEAF!" Lightning and Ocean screamed in unison, eyes going wide at the sight of Tyran toppling down towards Leaf's body. A fresh film of sweat trickled its way onto Lightning's brow.

Suddenly a wave of sparkling, silvery energy swept past them, getting directly between Leaf and Tyran. It seemed to solidify into a thin gray wall. Tyran's limp body slammed into it, creating a _thud_ as he and Leaf collided into the road. An anguished cry tore itself from the two boys' throats as they rushed to her side, kneeling to see how much damage had been done. The wall had kept most of Tyran's weight off of Leaf, but his spikes had managed to puncture it and were at the moment lodged firmly in her legs. Lightning blanched and looked away.

"Officer Jenny!" he heard Brock yell. "Officer Jenny, this is Brock, we have a Tyranitar out cold here on Thirty-sixth Street, it's got a girl pinned down and she needs medical attention, bring Joy with you … no … no, I don't _care_ right now! Listen, she could be dying … I know, I know, I'll work it out later …"

Lightning's gaze shifted to Brock, who was now snapping his cell phone shut and looking down the street anxiously, to Fire, who was wordlessly recalling Squirtle while proudly smiling down at … Drowzee?

"Drowzee didn't do anything …" Lightning said cautiously, as Hideki and Frosti also scuttled up to the disaster scene.

Fire's superior smirk seemed tired, almost shallow. "That's a laugh," he snorted. "Who do you think was the one who just saved little Sleeping Beauty's life? Drowzee. It was _his_ Hidden Power that saved her."

Lightning's eyes widened. "So you actually listened to us and taught him a TM?"

The smirk slid off Fire's face. "I didn't listen to you. I listened to the smart part of my brain – which is most of it – and decided to get him one. It's lucky for her that Drowzee's Hidden Power is steel-type, or else …"

He trailed off, and Lightning, glad not to hear what might have happened, let himself get distracted by a whistling ambulance and police car, which tore around the corner and screeched to a stop at the scene. Immediately people began to pour out, attempting to push Tyran off of Leaf.

"Onix, help out here," Brock said, turning to his monstrous rocky snake. Onix slithered toward the unconscious dinosaur, wrapped her tail around his body, and with great effort tugged the enormous weight far enough for the stretcher-bearers to grab Leaf and place her onto the stretcher. Their coworkers returned Frosti, Paris, and Swampert to their Poke Balls.

"Nurse Joy!" Brock exclaimed suddenly, rushing to the back of the ambulance and delicately helping the pink-haired nurse climb outside. "Nurse Joy, you look incredibly hot today. Now listen, this girl needs to go to the Pokemon Center, not the hospital. You know she does."

The nurse's pale cheeks flushed crimson, but she looked him in the eye. "Pokemon Centers are for Pokemon, silly. That's where the 'Pokemon' in 'Pokemon Centers' comes from," she giggled.

Lightning looked out at the numerous civilians, peering anxiously from the windows of their homes and reshuffling their ideas about safety and security. One short, middle-aged man found the courage to step out onto his porch and clear his throat loudly. For a moment Lightning wondered if he was going to make some speech about the beauty of life and how lucky they all were, but instead he roared, "Damn you, Brock."

Brock, wooing Nurse Joy seconds before, stiffened.

"You did about nothing to stop that damn thing! You're not fit to be a damn gym leader!" Up and down the street, there were nods and murmurs in agreement. "When you became gym leader you damn swore that, with your incredible understanding of the damn rock type, you would be able to protect the damn city even if Regirock and Mydaruul themselves swooped down and attacked! And yet you need a pack of damn rookies just to take care of a damn Tyranitar!"

Brock flushed, a look of concern tracing lines across his forehead. "Okay, if you'll just quit using 'damn' like an exclamation point, maybe we can work this out ..."

"Wait!" Ocean exclaimed. Surprised, everyone turned their attention toward him. "It wasn't Brock's fault. If it hadn't been for me, this whole thing would never have happened."

"But—"

"No, I'm serious! It's all my fault, I just _had_ to go and release Tyran in the middle of town, and that never would've happened if Fire hadn't pushed Leaf, and that never would've happened if Leaf hadn't been in a hurry, and that never would've happened if her battle with Fire hadn't excited her, and that never would've happened if _my_ gramps hadn't insisted that we travel together, and _that_ never would've happened if he hadn't noticed that dangerous Pokemon on the loose are dangerous, and _that_ never would've happened he hadn't managed to catch that raging Tyranitar! At least I know he'll be safer now that I stole Tyran from the lab—"

Ocean gasped and clapped his hands over his mouth, realizing too late his mistake. Everyone was shaking their heads disapprovingly, and many were jeering at him.

"Young man," said a police officer gravely, "you do realize that stealing a Pokemon from a professor's lab is a capital offense in all regions, punishable by a lifetime sentence to prison?"

"Yeah, but—"

"And that an inexperienced trainer owning an extremely powerful Pokemon early on in his or her journey is likely to lose control of it?"

"Yeah, but—"

"And that losing control of said Pokemon results in destruction and devastation ninety-seven percent of the time?"

"Yes," Ocean said impatiently, raising his voice, "but I wanted to get off to a good start! I'm planning on being a collector, and since you can't find anything in Pallet besides bugs and birds and Magikarp, I thought that … well …" His voice shrank as he trailed off.

Officer Jenny clicked her tongue, blue hair outlining the stern look on her face. "Well, since you're a minor we won't arrest you. We'll let you off with a warning … a very severe warning. If it happens again, we'll be holding you until you're twenty-five. Is that clear?"

"V-very," Ocean mumbled, sneezing loudly.

"In the meantime, we'll be taking you into custody. We'll phone your grandfather about the situation, and you won't be able to leave until you've written 'I will not let my selfish concerns put the people around me in danger, because otherwise I will be arrested and that is not my goal in life', two thousand times. Is that clear?"

"Crystal," Ocean replied meekly, his fingers twitching as if they already ached from writing. He walked towards the police car, his head hung dejectedly. Lightning felt a pang of sympathy, seeing the shame he must be wading in. Just before Ocean disappeared into the shadowy vehicle, Lightning saw Tyran's Poke Ball, which hung from the spiky-haired boy's belt, disintegrate into a small pile of reddish dust. _And thus ends Ocean's ownership of the brute,_ he thought to himself.

"Well, even if the damn kid _was_ the one who set the damn Tyranitar loose, it doesn't change the damn fact that Brock couldn't subdue the damn thing!" the middle-aged civilian declared loudly, and his fellow civilians murmured in agreement. "The damn girl was the one who really managed it. If it wasn't for her damn Swampert, the short kid's damn Pichu wouldn't have been able to knock it out!"

"I agree!" someone else shouted. "She should be the gym leader, not that squinty-eyed wannabe! Let's stone Brock! Let's stone Brock!"

The chant was quickly picked up on. "Let's stone Brock! Let's stone Brock! Let's stone Brock!"

"Wait!" Lightning yelled, distracting the chanters. "There's a simple way to solve this. If Leaf really _was_ the one to defeat Tyran, and Brock defeats _her_ in a gym battle, then Brock is capable of defending Pewter!"

"What do you know about these things?" Fire sneered. "You're just a lame coordinator."

"He's got a point," said Officer Jenny. "A battle it is. If Brock wins, he stays as gym leader and gives Leaf the Boulder Badge to help her continue on her journey. She deserves it after saving us, anyway. If Leaf wins, though …" she trailed off.

And it was agreed.

* * *

"So that's it, then," Leaf muttered, after the boys had finished. "Whether I win or lose, I still get the badge."

"Yeah." Brock picked at his salad darkly, scowling. "You'll probably want to win. Then I'll be out of a job."

Leaf snorted. "No way. I can't just train a bunch of Geodude to crush a bunch of noobs' dreams. That's your calling, not mine. I have to lose."

"Well, this should be interesting," Lightning commented sideways to Peach. "Required to lose. That hasn't been seen before."

Brock rolled his eyes. "How would you know? You're just a coordinator. But it _will_ be interesting, I guess. Unfortunately for us, my normal referee if vacationing somewhere, and the sub is more than likely to be biased in your favor."

The girl blanched. "Tough."

Brock nodded tiredly. "The match is in ten minutes. The Pokemon Center called everyone after you checked out. Everyone's probably in the gym already, ready to watch."

"_Ten minutes?_" Leaf leapt to her feet and recalled Frosti. "What are we still doing here? We'll barely get there in time!"

Brock (possibly) blinked several times before stiffening. "Oh, crap, you're right. What am I thinking? We gotta boogie."

Lightning raised an eyebrow. "Did you seriously just say 'boogie'?"

But the others were already heading out the glass door. The blond boy sighed, picked up another cheeseburger, and took a large bite as he got up to follow them.

* * *

The interior of Pewter Gym was as dark as its exterior suggested. A few florescent lights hung from the high ceiling, bathing the boulder-studded gym floor in pale light. Along the sides were several bleachers, packed with expectant spectators. Brock sweatdropped nervously as he waved at them. "It's never been so full in here," he explained, as he and Leaf made their way towards the battlefield. "It makes for some serious psychopathical influence."

Leaf shot him a look. "You mean 'psychological influence'."

"That too. Now remember, we have to act like you're trying to win, even though you're not. But at the same time, you have to be careful not to actually win. Okay?"

"Okay …"

Meanwhile, Lightning was walking in front of the bleachers, Peach on his shoulder as usual. He casually looked up at the people sitting in them, until three familiar faces caught his eye. Grinning, he waved frantically, to catch their attention. One of them waved back, but Lightning had already begun the trek up the "stairs", stepping on several people unintentionally.

"Ocean! Good to see ya, buddy!" he exclaimed, seating himself at the spiky-haired boy's feet. He grinned charmingly at the blue-haired young woman sitting next to him, a forced look of sternness on her face. "Hi, Officer. What brings you out here?"

"He wanted to watch the match," Officer Jenny replied shortly. "And he needed an escort while he's still in custody. So, naturally, I was picked for the menial job."

"Ah." Lightning turned to the boy on her other side. "And Mr. Hero himself. Really, Fire, what are you doing here? I thought you could 'barely care' for rival trainers."

"I figured that it would be amusing," Fire said coldly, fixing his gaze intently on the gym floor.

"Ignore hib," Ocean sighed. "Let hib babble by hibself. Is Leav okay?"

"Yeah, she's good. You catch a cold?"

Ocean sneezed. "You dink? Id was vrom Swabberd's Whirlbool. Id sblashed all ober be ad now I'b sick. I have de worst luck, dod't you dink?"

Lightning edged away slightly to avoid any snot projectiles. "Yes. Yes, I do think so. Did they say where'd they take Tyran?"

Ocean smiled weakly. "'Away vrom here' is as glose as dey'd reveal. Dey didn't wad me doo go 'charging avter hib'."

"Damn right," muttered the Officer.

A wave of cheering swept over the audience as Brock and Leaf took their places on opposite sides of the gym. The substitute referee walked towards the center of the field, and suddenly numerous fangirl screams erupted from the spectators, not to mention from Leaf herself. The referee, a teenager, wore a red helmet that didn't quite hide his longish mahogany hair, and his glasses glinted as the light hit them. His gray vest and cargo pants were a striking contrast to his black shirt and boots.

Leaf glared at Brock. "You nerd!" she yelled, barely heard over all the noise. "You didn't tell me that the ref was Roark!"

Brock shrugged. "You didn't ask."

"Yeah, but why's he here?"

"I'll tell you later." Brock looked toward the referee, his fingers twitching as if anxious to begin already.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Roark's voice was like a wave of chocolate after one has chugged down a gallon of vinegar. Instantly the applause died down. "It's my pleasure to ref this battle. Gym leader Brock Harrison of Pewter City will battle challenger Leaf McKenzie of Pallet Town. The rules: two Pokemon each, one at a time. Either side may switch out at any time. Battlers, choose your Pokemon!"

As cheers erupted from the audience, Roark turned and walked off of the battlefield, which is always an efficient method for avoiding skull-shattering attacks from Pokemon, even if one is wearing a helmet. The boy winked at Leaf, who blushed, mortified. _Great. My hair's a mess, and I bet my shoes are tacky. He's probably just psyching me out._ In her mind, she saw herself dressed in a potato sack, while several cute boys laughed silently at her.

"C'mon out!" Leaf was pulled back to reality as Brock tossed his Poke Ball. In a flash of neon-red light, an utterly bizarre-looking Pokemon appeared on the rocky battlefield. The Pokemon's deep purple body seemed to be suctioned to the floor, while its bell-shaped "head", decorated with yellow circles, contained a darkness in which only two glowing yellow eyes could be seen. Oddly, several pinkish tentacles protruded from its head.

"_Hoo, boy,"_ the Pokedex whistled, sticking out from Leaf's partially open bag. _"It's like these Pokemon are just setting themselves up for humiliation. Lileep, the Slime Pokemon. Gender is Male. Well, that's obvious, look at all the tubes sticking out of there! Height is Stick, Weight is Butterball. This Pokemon may look antisocial, but actually the opposite is true. Because really, how else would they get into so many orgies? I mean, all of his creepy little boyfriends left the tubes sticking out of him! How sloppy can you get?"_

The Lileep's purple "head" slowly turned a furious magenta.

"Honestly, Pokedex, what is with you and orgies?" Leaf paused for a brief moment before tossing out a Poke Ball of her own. "Frosti, give him a taste of your Ember!"

Materializing in midair, the small orange lizard spat several small flames before landing smoothly on the ground. Most of the flames easily made contact with the … whatever Lileep was. Lileep shrieked as the flames danced on his body for a few seconds, before vanishing in thin wisps of smoke.

Frosti glanced around proudly for a moment before suddenly noticing the number of people watching. "Leaf …" he whispered nervously.

"What?"

"I can't fight in front of all these people?" He bit his lip as he looked nervously from one intent gaze to the next.

"Show him your Astonish!"

"Frosti, this is no time for being shy!" Leaf yelled, intentionally adding a bit of desperation in her tone to keep the audience thinking that she wanted to win. "You need to work with me here!"

"Well, can you tell all those morons up there to work with me by turning to each other all at once and talking about nothing in particular?" Frosti wrung his hands, completely oblivious to the fact that Lileep was sneaking up on him.

"Frosti, you have to get over your fear of staring eyes! Lileep is—"

"Graaaaaaaggggggh!" Lileep roared, suddenly jumping up and slamming into Frosti faster than one would think possible. His yellow eyes glowed an evil light, and his tentacles dug into Frosti's face in a decidedly unwholesome matter. He then suddenly backed off, feeling rather smug.

Tears slid down Frosti's cheeks. "I hate life," he sniffed.

Leaf put her hands on her hips. "Honestly, Frosti. Just pretend that they're all made of cardboard, and you can burn them all up when you're done. Iron Tail."

Frosti hesitantly wiped the tears away, grinned weakly at the mental image, and rushed at Lileep, his tail glowing silver. The dazzling light lit up the entire gym, and people sat forward in their seats and watched in awe as the tail whipped through the air majestically. Lileep was unable to move, fixed to the floor as he was, and yet even he was unable to believe it when Frosti's Iron Tail swung down and missed by a country mile.

"What?" was all Leaf could say, as Frosti quit moving and looked at his tail, which was fading to its normal orange.

"You forget that Iron Tail is inaccurate and, therefore, unreliable," Brock said from across the field, taking care to inflect his tone with arrogance for sake of the viewers. "Lileep, use Acid."

"I failed," Frosti moaned, slamming his tail down on the ground as if this was all its fault. However, he had forgotten that it was attached to his butt, so he ended up getting an unflattering bruise.

"Bleeeeeeccchh!" Lileep retched up a stream of sickly purple stomach acid, which cascaded disgustingly onto Frosti's body.

"Eeew!" Frosti made a horrified face as he hastily brushed off the putrid contents of Lileep's stomach. "Leaf, I can't do this!"

"It's not that hard! You're a great babbler – I mean, battler – but you're letting the audience psych you out! Can't you work with me here?"

"No." Frosti sat down hard on the ground, wincing as his bruise made contact.

"It appears that Leaf is having trouble with her Charmander," Roark said over the noise of the restless audience. "I'm tempted to give her a penalty shot at Brock, since Acid is an advanced move."

"This isn't soccer, Roark! You know we don't have penalties!" Brock shot back tensely.

Roark shrugged. "Nevertheless."

Beads of sweat lined up along Leaf's forehead. _Brock was right,_ she thought, watching the gym leader consider his next move. _He needs to end this. Fast._

"Rock Tomb!"

"Frosti …"

Frosti stuck his nose in the air and turned away from her – just in time to see Lileep advancing quickly toward him, carrying a bunch of large rocks in his tentacles.

"Oh … crap."

"Raauugh Draaauuughhhauuughh!" Lileep shoved the rocks into Frosti's surprised face. The breathless audience watched as the same-type attack bonus and super effectiveness stacked up, causing far more damage than was rational.

Frosti's large black eyes crossed, and he grinned dazedly. Pointing at nothing in particular, he chuckled, "Leaf, Leaf, look at all the little birdies."

Then he fainted.

Roark opened his mouth, tried to think of something that would make Brock's latest move illegal, and failed miserably. Instead he yelled over the grudging applause, "Charmander has fainted! Leaf, please select your second Pokemon."

_Poor Frosti_, Leaf sighed, recalling her unconscious lizard. Placing his ball back on her belt, she took a moment to consider her options. _Well, Paris is still a bit young for this kind of fighting. And I can't use Cheri, because then everyone will know that I'm not trying to win. Looks like I'll have to use—_

"Swampert! Wipe up the floor with that thingy with your Whirlpool!"

As the massive mudfish materialized, everyone oohed and ahhed at his magnificent muscles. Clearly, they had been expecting something much less impressive than this.

"Holy …!" Roark stood up straighter. "A Swampert! Now _that's_ not something you see with a beginner every day! Or any day, actually ..."

As he had done yesterday, Swampert lifted his thick arms, conjuring water into existence. The flashy waves whirled around his limbs for a moment before he sent them flying at Lileep. Being rather stupid, the strange Pokemon didn't see its danger until too late.

"!" it moaned. Then, without warning, it also fainted. It just flopped down on its face and lights out.

The audience went wild.

"_There's_ some good fighting!" Roark exclaimed, eyeing the water-type with approval. "Lileep has fainted! We are down to one each! Who will Brock send out?"

"My star!" Brock replied, smirking triumphantly. If Leaf had not been planning to lose, she would have suddenly become afraid. Very afraid.

Swampert was huge; standing nearly as tall as Leaf, there was no denying that. However, the gigantic Pokemon that appeared on before him made the Swampert look like a bug. Onix's segmented stone body uncoiled itself, and the rock snake Pokemon grinned menacingly. She dipped her horned head, ready to attack.

"_Seriously, I don't have to work on this anymore. Why do you even bother asking me? I kid, I kid. Onix, the Tongue Pokemon. Gender is Female. Height is Big, Weight is Nine Houses. Onix digs deep into the ground, and the pressure makes its body as hard as a rock. It also makes its brain as hard as a rock, because it randomly has a magnet in it. Gives new meaning to the term 'animal magnetism', eh? And when a guy says he has a big Onix, it's easy to see what he's talking ab—"_

"Pokedex, behave yourself," Leaf growled warningly.

"_You humans have no sense of humor,"_ the Pokedex muttered sullenly.

Meanwhile, up in the bleachers, a different sort of drama was occurring. Lightning had been watching the watch casually, minding his own business, when the kid sitting next to him turned and started talking to him, for the sole reason that he was the closest person.

"Hi! I like shorts!" the kid said. His appearance was mostly nondescript, except for the fact that next to him, Lightning looked like a giant. "Shorts are fun! They're comfy and easy to wear!"

Lightning glanced at the boy's shorts. They looked all right, but surely that was nothing to get excited over.

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHH! You have shorts too!" the boy squealed suddenly, grabbing at the front of Lightning's white shorts and rubbing it between his fingers. "So silky and smooth! You lucky boy. You know," he added seriously, looking the shocked Lightning in the eye, "when I first walked in here, _my_ shorts were silky and smooth, too. But when I started talking to you, they started feeling really icky and coarse. Isn't that weird?" He got back to examining the shorts too closely.

Lightning, who was rapidly getting paler and paler, was too traumatized to do anything. Peach, on the other hand, had been growing a deep, furious purple, until finally she decided to deal with this kid who had the nerve to harass her sweet Lightning. She climbed onto Lightning's head, faced Officer Jenny, and ignored her indignant remark as she hit the buttons on two of her Poke Balls. A second later, two fiery, striped puppy Pokemon appeared next to her, their fluffy cream-colored tails wagging in anticipation.

"What can we do ya for, kid?" the slightly taller Growlithe asked, wrinkling his black, wet nose.

"Officer, this _punk_ is harrassing my trainer!" Peach yelled. "Kill him and bury the evidence far away from here!"

The smaller Growlithe shifted uncomfortably. "We don't kill people. But we _do_ kill Igglybuff. That's a hella lotta fun, anyway."

"C'mon, you have to do SOMETHING!"

The Growlithe looked at each other. "She's right," the taller one sighed, "we do. Shame, that. I was hopin' to call in sick."

The two squared their shoulders before leaping onto the strange boy, fangs bared. What happened next is generally best left open to the viewer's imagination.

Lightning turned away from the bloody scene, picked up Peach, and hugged her warmly. "Thanks, Peach," he murmured. "That's all I can think of to say."

Peach grinned and hugged him back.

On the battlefield, the victor was decided shockingly fast. Swampert raised his arms to perform another whirlpool, but unlike her uncivilized teammate, Onix recognized what he was preparing to do, and was ready for him. Before he could summon more water, she had pinned his arms to his sides with a crushing Bind. Swampert wheezed for air, and suddenly Leaf remembered his scar.

"Stop!" she cried. "I forfeit!" She cringed inwardly as every eye in the gym turned towards her. "I'd forgotten that he'd been injured before. He shouldn't be fighting so hard." _That was so stupid of me_, she thought. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. How could that slip my mind? Even Paris would stand more chance against Onix._

Onix looked towards her trainer, who sighed and recalled her. Swampert gasped as he collapsed to the ground, but seemed to be breathing almost normally.

Roark flushed. Obviously this was not what he had intended to happen. "Er ... Leaf has forfeited! By default, Brock wins this battle and will keep his position as gym leader!"

Cheers swept through the gym, echoing deafeningly. As people began to get up and leave, Leaf rushed to Swampert's side. "Oh, Swampert, I'm so, so sorry! I completely forgot—"

"It's all right," he muttered, slowly getting to his feet and dusting himself off. He traced the scar on his torso, wincing as he did so. "It's my—"

"Leaf?" Startled, the girl looked up. It was Brock, standing above her and holding something out towards her. "Seeing as you were the one who saved Pewter from Tyran, I am proud to present you with your very own Boulder Badge. Plus my complimentary TM, of course."

A bit hesitantly, Leaf accepted them. The small, silvery octagon felt cold in her palm, and seemed to shine with a light of its own. The TM sat in its brown, transparent plastic case, the words "TM39: Rock Tomb" inscribed on the bottom. Feeling proud, she put both of them into her bag.

"Hello, Leaf." Roark had decided to join them. Now that he was up close, she could smell something faint and sharp on his person. Was it some sort of mineral? Whatever it was, she liked it. "That was an impressive fight you put up there. Pity you had to forfeit." He smiled pleasantly.

"Uh, thank you." A bit of color sprung to life on her cheeks. She desperately hoped that he hadn't noticed.

Swampert lifted his head and examined Roark, almost critically, as if he had just noticed him.

"I'd like to ask you a personal question … if you don't mind, of course."

Leaf nodded. _He's going to ask me out, I know it, I know it. YES! You are a hot kid, young lady. Now just play it cool._ "Ask away."

"Gladly." His face abruptly hardened into a scowl. "I'd like to ask how you got your hands on my Swampert."

* * *

A/N: This is the part where I talk about Phrygoil, who is of course my own creation. XP

Type: Normal

Classification: Weasel Pokemon

Height: 4'6"

Weight: 12.7 lbs

Abilities: Thick Fat/Liquid Ooze

Egg Groups: Ground/Water 3

Gender: 50% male, 50% female

Color: Yellow

Catch Rate: 255

Evolution: Phrygoil → (level 20) → ?

Essentially, Phrygoil is Kerothyu's equivalent of Rattata. It's very different from its peers, both in physiology and mentally. It's obsessed with fast food, and yes, it was partially inspired by a french fry. XP


	9. Swamp't Down

LOL drama. To be fair, it's pretty good for a sixteen-year-old just out of noobhood. :P

* * *

Chapter Nine: Swamp't Down (Farewell to Whom? Storms Brewing!)

Leaf blinked several times. Had Roark just said what she thought he just said? A bit unnerved, she smiled weakly and said, "What?"

"You heard me." He took a step towards her, and she involuntarily flinched. "Just because I find you attr—, I mean, cool, doesn't mean that I should let you go for stealing Skipper."

Indignant, Leaf raised her voice. "Hey, I did _not_ steal _Swampert_! Or any other Pokemon, for that matter. Hell, he's probably not even yours. I found him dying on a beach, while _you_ were nowhere in sight."

Roark's scowl deepened. "A likely story."

"Hold on, Roark." Brock put his hand on the boy's shoulder, possibly to restrain him from taking violent action. "If Leaf says she saved him, then she saved him. She wouldn't lie about something like this."

Roark bit his lip.

"Leaf," Swampert said suddenly. "He is my trainer. Let me prove it to you." He slowly walked towards Roark, who stared him in the eye evenly. As the Pokemon got closer, Roark lifted a pale hand, fingers outstretched and trembling slightly. Swampert, never taking his gaze off of the boy's face, ducked his head down and nuzzled the hand with his nose.

And suddenly a light weight left Leaf's hip as Swampert's Poke Ball dissolved into a pile of red dust.

Roark suddenly threw his arms around Swampert's broad neck and started bawling. "I'm sorry, Skipper!" he sobbed, his falling tears absorbed by the Pokemon's damp skin. "I was wrong! I never should've done what I did, and I hate myself for it! You should've never looked back—"

Swampert patted him on the back soothingly, being at a loss for words.

"I think," Brock said sensibly, letting go of Roark, "you should tell us what all this is about. We've all been through a huge ordeal, and we don't need some mystery shoved on us."

Roark gasped raggedly as he tore himself away from his Pokemon. He gulped loudly before trying to steady his breathing. "I-I guess I should," he admitted shakily. "I'm sorry, I'm being stupid. Let me start from the top.

"I turned fourteen – this was back while I was still in Sinnoh – and wanted a starter Pokemon, but not Turtwig, Chimchar, or Piplup. They all seemed unappealing to me. I wanted something interesting, exotic, something that all noobs want at that age … no offense to present company, of course," he added quickly.

"None taken," Leaf replied smoothly.

"So I talked my dad into getting me a Mudkip. So off he goes to Hoenn to pick one up for me, taking his oh-so-lovable Bastiodon with him, and who does he tell to defend the gym while he's gone? Me. And I sucked at it. Steelix won most of the battles, of course, but he did it all on his own. So I started to rethink my priorities from there.

"Dad came back with a Mudkip, with _Ancientpower_ bred onto it, no less, and then told me that I could pay him back for it by taking up the first Sinnoh gym for the next couple of years. I wasn't exactly keen on that idea, since I'd just been doing something pretty close to that; but turns out it was a lot easier than trying to use Pokemon that weren't actually mine, you know? And most gym leaders have to run out and get new Pokemon every now and then, since they need to be kept under a certain level for challengers of a certain strength, but since two-thirds of all the noobs took Turtwig or Piplup, and the other third always ended up catching a Budew or something, it would take _months_ before I had to go out and catch somebody new. So me and three of my Pokemon – Skipper, Anni, and Emily – started getting pretty close, not like Brock and his twenty million Geodude."

"Hey, _I'm_ tough!" Brock interrupted indignantly. "Every Kanto trainer remembers from their noob days when one of my Geodude crushed them! Half of them took three tries to beat me!"

Roark rolled his eyes. "I'm talking. So anyway, I saw a Contest on TV once. The lights, the drama, the love-your-Pokemon-as-it-is stuff … that hooked me. So, after several months of getting the living daylights kicked out of me by noobs, I decided to become a coordinator."

"You WHAT?"

He grinned at Leaf's shocked expression. "Yeah, a coordinator. It's really interesting once you get into it. I tried to convince my dad that. Then he convinced me that getting a shovel thrown at your head can _really_ hurt.

"He kicked me out of the house and told me that any coordinator related to him couldn't stay in Sinnoh. So I left. There wasn't any crying or anything, I never was particularly close to my family anyway. My three main Pokemon were my family now. We boarded a ship for Kanto and, well, goodbye heritage.

"All of them wore an Everstone in some way or another, since I didn't want them to evolve. But while we were on the ship, I was battling some guy with a Bagon, and Skipper won, but just before fainting … the Bagon accidentally kicked Skipper, cutting that nasty scar into him and knocking his Everstone collar off. It fell over the railing and into the water. I called out to Skipper, tried to stop his shape from changing, pleaded with him, but it was no use. He was a Marshtomp."

Swampert-who-shall-henceforth-be-known-as-Skipper looked at his trainer sadly.

"He saw what'd happened to him and gave me this look, like he was saying, 'What is this?' And I rejected him." A bit of a trembling crept back into his voice. "I t-told him to go. I said that if he was evolved, he d-didn't deserve me and should g-go back to the m-muck and slime where he came from. So he j-jumped over the railing—" He suddenly dissolved into a fresh wave of sobs.

Tentatively, Leaf reached out and touched his shoulder. To her surprise, he didn't shove her away or even flinch. "I'm sorry, Roark. That must have sucked. But Swampert – Skipper – he's yours again. He forgives you. Don't you?"

Skipper nodded in affirmative, patting the boy's other shoulder in sympathy.

"Um … Skipper? I still wish you didn't have to leave. I'll miss you. _Paris_ will miss you …" Paris. Ah. That could get sticky. If Roark—

Skipper chuckled, as if reading her mind. "Paris will be fine, Leaf. There's no need to let Roark in on this, to be honest. She hatched as your Pokemon, and she'll stay that way. I doubt I'll need to say goodbye to her, since she loves you so much more than she does me."

Leaf shook her head.

"Oh, yes, she does. Pokemon can have strong bonds with their trainers, Leaf. _Dreadfully_ strong." A bit of apprehensiveness crept into his regretful tone.

Roark took a deep breath, attempting to steady himself again as he looked at Leaf and tried to laugh. "I guess this means we won't be seeing you again, which is a shame. Unless you're planning on becoming a coordinator, which I doubt, so if you want to walk …"

In that moment, Leaf realized that she was in love.

* * *

"You're not _serious_, are you?"

Lightning's eyes were wide open in horror as he watched Leaf approach him from the impressive building known as the Contest Hall, grinning broadly as she reached him in the grassy park.

"I'm excited about this," she said cheerfully. "Well, not the contest part, but the fact that _Roark_ will be there!" She sighed romantically and swooned.

Lightning rushed to catch her before she hit the pavement, much to Peach's displeasure. "I don't want you to enter this contest! Wait, that was rude. Let me put it another way: I don't have a talented rival, and I don't need one!" he explained worriedly, helping her back to her feet.

Leaf blushed. "You think I'm talented?"

"Well, yeah. Even though you lost – good job at losing, by the way – your battling could've swept the judges away. Except for Frosti stalling. The contest is tomorrow morning, so we'll need to get in some practice if we want to win."

She laughed. "I'm not entering the contest."

"Well, I … wait … but you just came from—"

"Escorting Roark to the Contest Hall. He wanted to get a feel for it."

"Ah …" Lightning rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, feeling stupid. "Too bad. Swampert would've _slaughtered_ the judges."

"He's not mine."

The statement was so abrupt that Lightning blinked several times before realizing what she'd said. "What?"

"He's Roark's. It's a long story, but now that they've found each other again, I should just step out of the picture gracefully while I still have a chance."

Lightning decided that this must be one of those things that shouldn't be elaborated upon, for fear that Leaf would explode from the effort of containing emotion, so he merely nodded.

"Have you seen Fire and Ocean?"

"They stuck Ocean back in custody a while ago. Fire left as soon as you lost. He was heading for Mount Moon, 'away from us losers'."

"Jerk."

"Yeah, he's a pain in the—"

A Shadow Ball narrowly missed Lightning's head, singing the top of his hair slightly. The dark purple orb, cloaked in some arcane gas, exploded when it hit a nearby tree.

"HEY, MORON! TRYING TO TAKE MY HEAD OFF, ARE YOU?" Lightning yelled indignantly, as Peach hurriedly fondled his blond hair while scowling at no one in particular. He looked around wildly, but saw no one. "COME OUT AND SHOW YOURSELF, OR I'LL—"

"Watch your aim, Shadowson," a nearby voice said coldly. "For that, you'll stay in there for a week. Return."

Baffled, the two humans darted towards it and reached a wooden bench where a trainer was sitting with her back to them, her Pokemon in front of her. All Leaf could see was that the Pokemon was a silvery quadruped before it was recalled half a second later.

"Excuse me!" Lightning said tensely, placing his hands on his hips in what he obviously hoped was an intimidating stance. Peach imitated his position.

The trainer slowly turned around to face them, rolling her eyes. She was slender, with thick, knee-length blond hair cascading over her narrow shoulders. She wore a short, emerald-green dress which ended mid-thigh, and her shiny black high-tops encased her small, narrow feet. Her eyes were hazel, but not the deep-and-luminous-pools-of-shining-amber hazel. More like the judge-a-book-by-its-cover, tick-me-off-and-you-die hazel.

Sitting next to her was a tall rabbit Pokemon, whose voluptuous body boasted its ridiculous curves. Its brown fur was dull in contrast to its cream-colored fur which lined its arms, ears, and lower legs. Its huge pale eyebrows angled sharply towards its bright red eyes.

"_Looky, looky, what do I see? A brand-new Pokemon waiting for me!"_

Leaf was suddenly tempted to pick up a rock and smash the Pokedex with it. However, she was pretty sure that wouldn't do much more than cause it to say, _"Naaaarrrrrrrgh learned Rock Smash! It's not very effective …"_

"_Lopunny, the Strange Pokemon. Gender is Female, but even if it were male it would still be female, if you think about it. Height is Too Curvy For You, Weight is Grossly Anorexic. Lopunny is a girl about town. They prance around in those fur-boots of theirs and cuddle up with the guys until the broad daylight. What's really scary is that there are males among them, and it's hard to tell which is which, since they all love men. So if you see a Lopunny, run for your life because it's probably Michael Jackson. Damn, that's a weird image. I can see it now: Michael Jackson, the Funny Bunny with the Yummy Tummy."_

Lightning hooted with laughter, slapping his knees so hard that they bruised. He sat down hard on the ground, convulsing in hilarity.

"Oh, yes, _very_ amusing," the strange trainer snarled, glaring down at him in distaste, her Lopunny mirroring her expression. "I'll have you know that Fokagirl is a champion. She's won so many contests for me, it's not even funny."

Lightning quit laughing, and his eyes practically popped out of his head. "Fokagirl? As in, _the_ Fokagirl? But that would mean … yeah … you're Kaleri Kutter!"

The girl smirked. "Why yes, moron, I am. Hoenn Grand Festival winner, yes. Sexy, yes. Superior to you in every way? Definitely." She turned to Leaf, and her expression changed. "Hi! You're Leaf, right? I saw your Swampert crush that Tyranitar the other day. It would probably own everybody else in a battle round."

"Well, he's not mine anymore," Leaf admitted. "He's Roark's. I had to give him back earlier, so sorry. It would've been neat using him in the contest, though."

"Ooh, you're going to become a coordinator! Wise choice, my friend."

"But I'm not—"

"Here in contests, we take beauty and turn it into an _art_. And that's a shame about the Swampert. However, it's good to focus on just a few Pokemon. My fourth and newest team member is a bit lacking in talent, but give him a few days and you'll think I've been training him my whole life. He's a _rare species_, by the way. You don't find many of his kind just sitting around." She puffed herself up proudly, as if _she_ was some rare species that everybody was just dying to get their hands on.

"Really? What sort of Pokemon is—?"

"I'm sorry I called you a moron!" Lightning interrupted reverently, getting to his knees and bowing to Kaleri. "You are my idol. The way you blazed through the contests with just three Pokemon never ceases to fascinate me. Will you take me in as your apprentice?"

Kaleri snickered. "No. I don't take losers under my wing. But I know you'll need _this_." She pulled a book from a purse that should have been too small for a book that size. Tossing it at his head, she got up and walked away, laughing evilly. Fokagirl paused for a brief moment to smirk at them before following her trainer.

"That was weird," Leaf commented, swooping down and catching the heavy book before it could nail Lightning's head. She glanced at its front cover and raised an eyebrow. "Ah, no wonder she said you'd need this."

"What? What?" Lightning asked as he jumped to his feet and looked over at it, rubbing his head anxiously to make sure it wasn't broken. Peach snuggled up to his head comfortingly, and the three of them read the title on the cover: _The Dummy's Guide to Contests_. The picture underneath the big, bold letters showed Kaleri grinning cheesily back at them, with a huge, sparkling Water Pulse just behind her. The dazzling blue waves looked as if they were about to wash Kaleri right out of the picture.

"Why is it she likes me and not you?" Leaf asked, glancing up at Kaleri's retreating figure.

"Maybe it's that aura thing," Lightning mused aloud. "Like, she knows I'm destined to beat her, so she's scared of me. Or maybe it's just your generic likeability."

"My _what_?"

"Never mind." Lightning's eyes narrowed as they took in the name of the author. "Hmm. _She_ wrote this … so it's probably full of stuff I need to know. Let's _leaf_ through it. Ha, ha, ha, that's a joke. Get it, Leaf? … Leaf?"

Leaf and Peach both sweatdropped. "Darling," Peach sighed, stroking his neck affectionately, "I'll love you until the end of time, but your sense of humor should be pushed off a tall bridge."

* * *

The first thing Cobalt noticed was that he was still alive. That was surprising. Why was that again? _Oh, right, I fell out a window,_ he remembered. _Of course it's surprising. Obviously._

The second thing he noticed was that a million naked women were parachuting down from the sky towards him. He stared at them and grinned dazedly for a moment before realizing that this was obviously a hallucination. He decided not to look at them, no matter how much he wanted to.

The third thing was that something large, smooth and furry was in his throat. He stopped wondering if this was another hallucination when he realized that it was _slurping_ something. He shuddered violently as he felt its movement, and heard it gulping from within himself.

"_Nnnggmlllrrng_!" he tried to shout.

"He's awake, he's awake, he's awake!"

"Yay!" said the furry thing in his throat, and it pulled itself out. Cobalt moaned as it was painfully retracted, sliding over his tongue and leaving a large furball on it.

Opening his eyes, he noticed that two people were standing over him, looking concerned. Well, "people" was probably not the right term for them. "A single person and a somewhat slimy weasel-worm thing" would probably fit the situation better. His sunglasses were hanging from one of his ears haphazardly, and he fitted them back into place.

"You're alive! That's just awesome!" the Phrygoil exclaimed giddily. "Because if you weren't, I'd have to eat your carcass, and I almost wouldn't want to do that."

Cobalt made a face before spitting out the furball. He massaged his throat carefully. "Um, okay. Thanks for not eating me, then. What exactly happened?"

"Well," Gina said, tossing back her hair, "you jumped out the window. That's a stupid thing to do even at ground level, but you jumped at a huge height, which had a forty-five percent chance of—"

"I know _that_ part," he said, cutting her off. "Just skip to the part where you save me from being splattered all over the place like a broken egg, all right?"

"I was getting there. Anyway, I saw you falling, so I called out Qwerty and made him shoot out a Hydro Pump to slow your fall. It worked, but you were falling face-first, and your mouth was open, so you ended up swallowing about ten gallons of water or something. We caught you and rushed you away from there. We're just on the outskirts of town right now."

"Nobody followed us?"

"Right. So then you started convulsing for no reason. Well, it was no reason until we realized that drowning is a pretty good reason, so maybe that counted. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do at that point, but suddenly Phrygoil came up, stuck her head down your throat—"

Cobalt gagged and spat out another furball.

"And she chugged down all the water in your lungs! Isn't that weird?"

He gave her the look of death: eyebrows pressed close together, nostrils flared, mouth twisted into a scowl. "A weasel put her head in my _throat_. Of course that's weird!" Automatically, his hand made its way to where his bag had been before he'd fainted, but only succeeded in grabbing empty air. "Where's the loot?"

Gina gave him a confused look. "What loot?"

He facepalmed. "The loot I stole from the Pewter Museum of Science. Duh."

"Oh, _that_ loot. The stuff from PMS. Here." She gestured to a nearby bush. "I hid it in there because Phrygoil wanted to eat it."

"Oh, so _that's_ where you put it!" Phrygoil exclaimed, diving for the bush.

"Cut that out!" Cobalt ordered, grabbing her by the tail and immediately regretting it. The tail was soft, squishy, slimy, soggy, and possibly soaked in some sewer slop, which would explain the stench. It was like reaching into a large bin marked "Brains". Letting go and hurriedly wiping his hands on his jeans, he sternly looked her in the eye and said, "We don't eat that stuff. Repeat after me: I will not eat rocks."

"I will not eat rocks …" Phrygoil repeated in a mystical tone, looking a bit psychotic.

"You're scaring me." He reached into the bush and pulled out the bag. Grinning greedily, he retrieved the Moon Stone from the coarse brown folds in the bag, and he gazed at it almost sweetly.

"What about the other thing? That's not a rock," Phrygoil said, snaking her head into the bag and retrieving the object which had, until recently, been residing in the huge Aerodactyl skull. It wasn't much larger than a clenched fist. Its semi-transparent surface revealed its ocher depths, which looked mysterious in the afternoon sun. It was very pretty, to be sure, but Cobalt had seen a million pretty things just a few minutes ago.

"It might still be worth something," he said, taking it from her toothy jaws and looking at it. Next to the Moon Stone, it looked like supernatural crap. He shrugged and put both objects back into his bag, which he slung over his shoulder.

"You look like Santa Claus in his druggie days," Gina commented, gazing at him in the way that a mother would gaze at her child on its first day of school.

"Oh, I'm all choked up."

"Can I come with you?" Phrygoil asked suddenly, looking _him_ in the eye. "I'm good at helping people steal things. I want to see the world and spread the truth of Ronald McDonald to everyone."

Cobalt stared at her. "Phrygoil, that's not something—"

"Phlash."

He blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Daddy calls me Phlash Phryer," she explained. "They're spelled with P-H because Daddy says that he was on acid when he met Mom, whatever that means. But you can call me Phlash for short."

"Uh-huh…" Phlash? That was a new one. Picturing the word in his mind with its new spelling, he realized that it was hard to wrap his mouth around it. "Okay, then … Phlash. Listen, I'm not exactly some noob who's journeying around looking for ninety million Pokemon to catch to get badges or ribbons or the meaning of life or whatever the hell they're looking for these days. I'm a trained criminal in a high-ranking position of an organized organization seeking world dominance through politics, crime, and cosmetics."

"You mean a gang?"

"That too. And I'm more into the really strong Pokemon, if you know what I mean. Like Gengar, and Dragonite, and other cool stuff. So you see, I don't need you, and you don't need me. It's—"

"That's where you're wrong," Phlash said, cutting him off. "I need someone to show me all the places where McDonald's hasn't yet appeared, so I can spread his word to people. And you … you need someone to be your friend."

Cobalt stared at her. A friend? What the hell was that? _Oh wait,_ he thought, _I remember. A friend is one of those things you get when you become so insecure that you can't stand to be alone with yourself for more than five minutes._ "I don't need a friend."

"Yes you do. And if you don't think _that's_ a good idea, I'll give you better reason to catch me."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"I'll sing Barney songs until you do."

His mouth fell open in horror.

"See? I'm worthy. Here we go! I love you … you love me …"

He twitched. _Don't give in. You've been trained. Endure. Endure. Endure …_

"…We're best friends like friends should be…"

"STOOOOOPPPPPP!" he howled, covering his ears with his hands. "MAKE IT STOP!"

"… With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you …" she sang, raising her voice.

"PLEASE!"

"… Won't you say—"

"NOOOO!"

"—you love—"

"AARRGGHH!"

"—me—"

"YAAUUGGHH!"

"—too."

Silence.

Carefully, he removed his hands from his ears and looked at Phlash, who seemed disappointed that he hadn't cracked under the pressure.

"Ha! I win!" he laughed gleefully. "I have endured your brutal torture! Now I'll turn my back on you and forget that we ever met!"

Phlash took a deep breath.

"Aw, c'mon, don't cry about it," he said hastily. "I've learned how to keep torture from getting to me. I mean _really_ getting to me. Loads of people learn it the hard way."

She smirked evilly and opened her mouth.

"What are you … you're not … oh, sh—"

"Barney is a dinosaur from our imaginaaaation—"

He plugged his ears again in a big hurry. "I can't hear you, I can't hear you, I can't—"

"—AND WHEN HE'S TALL HE'S WHAT WE CALL A DINOSAUR SENSAAAATION!"

Shuddering, he clenched his teeth.

"BARNEY SHOWS US LOTS OF THINGS, LIKE HOW TO PLAY PRETEEEND…"

_Must … be … strong._

"…ABC'S AND ONE-TWO-THREE'S AND HOW TO BE A FRIEEEND!"

He snapped.

"GYAAAAOOOO!" he howled, falling to the ground ungracefully. His face contorted into a tortured mask.

"BARNEY COMES TO PLAY WITH US WHENEVER WE MAY NEEEED HIM …"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHH!" He writhed on the ground, convulsing in sheer mental agony.

"… BARNEY CAN BE YOUR FRIEND TOO—"

He clawed at the grassy earth madly, seeking some sort of release. This sort of pain was beyond words.

"—IF YOU JUST MAKE-BELIEVE HIM!"

Cobalt was left on the ground in some sort of twisted shape usually reserved for gymnasts and yoga practitioners. He shivered uncontrollably.

"_Still_ not convinced? Goody! I have a whole couple albums up in my head somewhere. What fun! SOMETIMES I—"

"ENOUGH!" he roared, lifting his head and glaring crazily. Still shaking, he pulled a Poke Ball off his belt and tossed it at Phlash, who was happily absorbed into the ball before it immediately pinged.

Rolling onto his back, he noticed that Gina was sitting up in a tree, staring at him with huge eyes.

"Oh," he said, grinning weakly. "Hi. What're you doin' up there? Y'know, I think I'll show the boss a new kind of torture. Sound waves affecting the brain and all that. Maybe I can get promoted. Hee hee hee hee. "

Then he passed out again.

* * *

Leaf and Lightning sat in the McDonald's that evening, flipping through the pages of _The Dummy's Guide to Contests_ more than eating. Their Pokemon were making up for that: Frosti, Paris, and Peach were digging into a massive pile of cheeseburgers like there was no tomorrow, while Peter munched contentedly on a salad. Dory nibbled on her Apple Dippers, her large blue ears turning this way and that as she glared darkly at everything she saw.

Cheri didn't even bother with the food. She was curled up in the pile of brightly colored Happy Meal bags, her eyes cast downward in some sort of grieving expression. Peter paused his eating for a moment to leer at her triumphantly before returning to his salad, his face bulging with lettuce.

_She and Paris are more alike than they know_, Leaf thought pityingly, glancing up at her depressed caterpillar. _Both of them have been separated from their fathers. At least Paris is taking it calmly_.

Which was true, if the definition of calmly was "giggling madly, spitting globs of cheese at Frosti, and doing everything that doesn't consist of sighing and gazing out the window".

"Ancientpower can be bred onto Lapras, right?" Leaf asked nobody in particular, sipping at her Coke and pressing several buttons on the Pokedex, looking a bit flustered. "If I'd known that, I could've realized Swampert – I mean, Skipper – was raised by a trainer."

"_You know, if you'd have just pushed on my scroll bar like most people, you would've already noticed that she had bred moves,"_ the Pokedex commented nastily. Leaf pointedly ignored it, setting it back onto the table.

_Mom hasn't left a message,_ she thought to herself, having called home earlier from the Pokemon Center. _That's odd; she should've called me by now, considering the thing with Tyran. I've tried her home, work, and cell numbers. If she doesn't pick up soon, I'll have to resort to calling those goony old ladies in her knitting club. Yecch._

She picked up another French fry, bit into it, and chewed it thoughtfully. She looked back down at the book, which was currently turned to a page in the "Good Contest Pokemon vs. Sucky Contest Pokemon" chapter.

_The fact that most morons don't know is that any Pokemon which I own will automatically make you the greatest coordinator in the city, or wherever you happen to be at the moment. Milotic demonstrates your amazing ability at bringing out the beauty in Pokemon. Kirlia gives you essential tricks that the enemy is only too likely not to see until it's hanging upside-down and screaming for mercy. And, of course, there's Lopunny, who's just too cool not to love, and anyone who disagrees will get their asses kicked. If I catch any more Pokemon, it's obvious that they're the way to go when it comes to picking Pokemon._

_Other great Pokemon for contests include, but are not limited to: Arcanine, Garchomp, Dragonite, Ninetales, Gorebyss, Lucario, Orezbus, Blaziken, Empoleon, Floraso, Raichu, and members of the Eevee, Ayell, and Ralts families. In other words, anything that's both strong and at least remotely cool._

"The Tyranitar butt-kicking gave me an idea," Lightning was saying, not seeming to realize that she wasn't really listening to him. "An appeal with Peter using the String Shot approach. Tackle's not very exciting, the Pokemon just runs into something and that's it. But with String Shot you can make a bunch of awesome shapes. And for the battle rounds, I'll probably use Peach to Thundershock her way through—"

"Sure, go ahead and ignore me," Dory muttered sourly, curling up her lip to reveal large buckteeth.

"—And if I get to the final round, I'll pull out the old Volt Tackle card. That'll absolutely _demolish_ them."

"Shouldn't you be preparing for it?" Leaf asked, not moving her gaze from the book.

"Nah."

"But you said earlier that you should practice—"

"I said _some_ practice. Most of the noobs I'm going up against don't even know the difference between a round and a ribbon. Anything should cream them. All I need to worry about is Kaleri and making our way through the battle rounds."

"Mm." Leaf's eyes skipped down a couple of paragraphs.

_You've most likely heard all that "any Pokemon can own the contests" crap. The fact is that _most_, not all, can. Examples of what _not_ to bring to the Contest Hall are as follows:_

_Gyarados – It's ugly, it's a brute, and it's Milotic's evil twin. Case closed._

_Plusle/Minun – It's entire life revolves around cheerleading. That gets old in a hurry, and there's not much else you can do with it. Plus, I don't like it._

_Lickilicky – It's fat, it's ugly, and its eye-hurting color will always clash with what you're wearing. Always._

_Koffing/Weezing – We have contests to_ forget _about issues like pollution, and we don't want to remember! Not to mention that its stench will offend everyone and therefore lower your chances of making it past appeal._

_Unown – Nobody cares if it's a novelty and that you looked through a million caves to find one! There's only so much you can do with Hidden Power, damn it!_

_Bidoof – It needs no reason._

_Glemura – If you ignore the fact that its attacking sucks, you should agree with me in that fish that are always crying their eyes out are not going to help you in your coordinating career. Face that and you'll thank me later._

_Ditto – Transform gets old. Fast._

_Probopass – It's a fricking face with a stache. A frizzy black stache. Nobody needs you to remind them of their creepy first date, thank you very much._

"What ees thees? Eet ees a Lapras, no?"

Glancing up, Leaf was shocked to see a guy with huge sunglasses standing right next to their table. A girl was standing next to him, looking bored. At his feet stood a Phrygoil, looking excited as she looked around wildly, her nostrils flaring as the exciting scents of grease and slime flooded them.

"Eet ees ze shinee Lapras!" the guy exclaimed, leaning closer. "Eef I cood 'ave a momaynt weeth ze Lapras, I would like to gayt eets peectoor weeth eet!" He brandished a cheap-looking disposable camera.

Everyone stared at him.

"Psycho," Frosti muttered.

"I 'eard zat!"

"Dude," Leaf sighed, "what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be working at that drugstore in Viridian, or is that just your day job?"

"Eh … eh … I know not of what you are trying to zay 'ere. I am merelee a Fraynch tooreest who 'appens to be zightzeeing at ze moment."

"Yeah, but that accent is so fake that it hurts my brain. Leave us alone."

"Honestly!" the guy fumed, stamping his foot. "I worked hard on that accent! Don't call it fake!"

Leaf raised an eyebrow.

"Aw, screw it."

"You're not going to be stealing Paris," Leaf said firmly. "That's what you're trying to do, I know it."

"No I'm—"

"Yes, you are. You finger that huge bag when you look at her."

He jumped and glanced at the canvas bag slung over his shoulder. Sure enough, he was.

"You're Team Rocket people, aren't you?"

"Yes!" the girl next to him said automatically. "We—mmph!"

"Don't listen to Gina," the young man said, laughing nervously as he smothered his companion's mouth with his hand. "She hasn't had her medication yet."

"Liar."

"Hey! Nobody calls ME, the amazing Cobalt who has no apparent first name, a liar! You're goin' _down_, girl. Phlash, go get her!"

"'Phlash'?" Leaf asked incredulously as the Phrygoil took a step towards her, staring her down with blood-red eyes.

"Short for Phlash Phryer. Don't look at me like that; it was her dad's idea, not mine."

"Then she's even weirder than we thought. Frosti, it's go time!"

Frosti glanced around, seemed satisfied that the number of other people present (one, but that was the worker at the counter and why should he count anyway?) wasn't too high, and leapt towards Phlash, eyes and tail-flame shining bright.

"Um…" Cobalt glanced at his Pokedex to check his Pokemon's moves. "Phlash, catch him in a Wrap!"

Plash shot forward, moving surprisingly fast for her short legs. Half a second later, her long body was coiled around the hapless lizard Pokemon.

"Leaf…" Frosti moaned, as his foe squeezed him tightly.

"Quick, Frosti, Sunny Day followed up by an Ember!" his trainer cried.

Although his tail was pinned down, he still managed to brighten its flame. The setting sun outside suddenly poured blinding light through the window, mysteriously expanding the small tongues of flame which flew from Frosti's mouth. Phlash winced as the attack hit, but managed to keep her grip on him, squeezing harder.

"Oooh, a fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Peach chanted, leaning further over the edge of the table to look until she fell over, landing clumsily on the floor.

"Hey, you can't have a two-on-one battle! That's not fair! Take her out, Qwerty!" Gina yelled, tossing out a Poke Ball. A small blue creature materialized on the tiled floor in front of Peach, his blue tail and head fin quivering in anticipation. A pair of bright orange gills sat on his circular head. It was as if Skipper had been shrunk down to bite size.

"DO YOU LIEK ME? DO YOU LIEK ME? PLEASE SAY YOU LIEK ME!" the Pokemon yelled at the top of his lungs, bouncing around as if he badly needed to pee.

"_Mudkip—"_ The Pokedex was cut off by its own snickers. _"Hee, hee, hee. I've been waiting for this one. Mudkip, the Well-Lieked Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Puny, Weight is Floppy Pond Creature Thing. So, I heard you liek them. Who knows why it's Mudkip that was in the meme, but everyone loves it now. Whenever a noobish trainer encounters a Mudkip, you can be sure that the sound of unzipping pants fills the air. A recent study shows that Mudkip is the most popular standard starter Pokemon, being chosen fifty-three percent of the time in Hoenn, and twenty-one percent of the time nationwide. This means that approximately forty Mudkip per year are given out to trainers who intend on harassing them in extremely undesirable ways. That's very … strange. And can I just add—?"_

"No, that's enough. Frosti, spray her with another Ember! Then Scratch her until she lets go!"

"Phlash, keep him in that Wrap! Use Tail Whip to keep yourself from getting too hurt!"

"Peach, Charm the mud-thing, and then Thundershock it!"

"Alrighty, Qwerty, protect yourself with Mud Shot, then Dig to avoid the Thundershock."

As Phlash gripped him even more tightly, Frosti sprayed her with another solar-powered Ember. The flames danced around on her oily skin before flickering out in the gust of air created by Phlash's long, pointed tail, which she wagged cutely in front of Frosti's face. The Charmander frowned, as he tried and failed to lift his bound arms and swipe at his captor. Frustrated, he twisted his hands upward to reach her tight coils, clawing at them half-heartedly.

Meanwhile, Peach stared at Qwerty, her eyes widening in order to look as adorable as possible. Coupled with her slightly protruding lower lip, this look managed to send the bouncing blue Pokemon on a guilt trip.

"YOU LIEK ME? YOU … LIEK ME?"

His eyes softened in sympathy, but nevertheless he stood up on his hind paws and looked at his hands, which suddenly covered themselves in a sticky brown slime. Hurriedly he wiped the mud all over himself, ending up looking filthy. He then leapt into the air, pinwheeling his arms around wildly. As he began falling back down, Peach flicked her small hand at him, launching a small bolt of lightning; although the attack did a fair amount of damage to the small water-type, the mud coating his body absorbed most of it. His arms moved so fast that by the time he hit the floor, he managed to begin burrowing through it, sending small chunks of it flying everywhere.

Everyone hit the floor to avoid the flying projectiles; by the time they dared to raise their heads, Qwerty had vanished. All that remained was a misshapen hole in the floor, a small amount of dirt coating its edges. Oddly, Frosti and Phlash hadn't noticed this, as they were still Wrapping or Scratching at each other.

"Right," Leaf said, getting to her feet and brushing herself off; the others followed her example. "That was interesting. Okay, Frosti, give her a couple more Embers to deal with, and keep Scratching your way out of there! Use the claws on your feet too!"

"Oh, I don't think so! Phlash, keep on Wrapping him, and give him another taste of Tail Whip while you're at it!"

Lightning looked around nervously, but there was no sign of Qwerty. "Okay, Peach, he'll be coming up from underneath, so be on the lookout for him. Also, charge up a Volt Tackle to hit him when he does reappear."

"Ooh! Ooh! Volt Tackle!" Gina squealed excitedly. "That's, like, one of the rarest moves! I've been looking for a Light Ball for _ages_, and I need to figure out why it only affects the Pikachu family. I mean, what's so special about Pikachu? Shouldn't Mareep or Shinx be equally compatible with the Light Ball? That's what _I_, Breeder Gina, aim to find out. Oh, the DRAMA …!"

Naturally, everyone ignored her.

While Phlash was keeping Frosti Wrapped up, the orange lizard himself spat out two more Embers, still strengthened by the sun's blinding rays. The miniature fireballs pelted Phlash's skin, and she winced as a small area of it on her right shoulder slowly turned a burned brown. The smell of cooking meat wafted through the air; Frosti's nostrils flared as he inhaled the scent, and hungrily he clawed at Phlash's soft body with renewed gusto. The weasel-like Pokemon squealed as the gashes were carved into her, dripping a little blood, but she still summoned the energy to whack Frosti with her tail. The slimy appendage made contact, and he scowled as a patch of damp residue was left on his cheek.

Peach, keeping her eyes on the floor warily, began to charge her short yellow fur in electricity, sparks shooting from it dangerously. A faint rumbling emanated from beneath her paws, and she braced herself, teeth clenched. As it got louder, she thought for a moment before deciding that Qwerty would be emerging from the trash can near their booth, and she faced it, determined.

Qwerty burst from the floor near the condiment stand, sending tiny packets of ketchup flying everywhere. One of them landed on Phlash's head, and she shouted, "KETCHUUUUUUP! GIMME KETCHUP GIMME KETCHUP GIMME!" Her body whipped through the air, tossing Frosti into the trash can, as she flicked her head and snapped wildly at the packet, teeth flashing. She caught it in her fanged jaws, and the red goo spurted everywhere, staining her mouth a deep crimson. Eagerly she shook her head around, trying to catch the flying ketchup with her tongue. Some of the ketchup landed on her body, soaking her sickly-colored fur, and she tore at her own body greedily, injuring herself better than Frosti could have done.

Qwerty, however, kept his head, screaming, "YOU MUST LIEK ME! GRAHHHH!" His muddy body soared toward Peach; however, after blinking a few times he suddenly realized his danger and backpedaled frantically, to no avail.

"Piiiiiiiiii … CHU!" cried the brightly glowing mouse, launching herself at her flying foe. They collided, sizzling, in midair, and Qwerty screeched as the electricity sliced through him. As they hit the ground, stray bolts of lightning zigzagged from her fur and rocketed in all directions. By some freak coincidence, one of them hit Phlash, who yelped and began to run in circles. Another hit Cobalt's knee, and he cursed loudly as he buckled up in pain.

Hearing this, Frosti jumped out of the trash can, walked toward him with a stern expression on his face, and slapped him with his tail. "Naughty words are bad," he scolded.

Cobalt's annoyed reply was cut off by Qwerty's "DO IT LIEK THIS!" as he stood up on his hind legs, raising his tiny forepaws into the air. A massive rumbling began to shake the ground underneath them, and the floor in front of Qwerty burst as water rushed upward, the stench of sewer wafting upwards. As the foul water tore down towards her, Peach squealed and shot a very large Thundershock at it, before the Waterfall pounded her into the floor.

The yellow bolt of lightning leapt into the water, spreading and multiplying in a frenzy until the whole Waterfall was turning a bright neon yellow, crackling with lethal electricity. The wave of voltage spread through the water, back into the sewers, causing a massive boom to be heard from below. Seconds later, a wave of electrified water gushed out from the hole, spreading quickly across the floor in a fizzing flood of death. Everyone's hair slowly stood up on end, frizzing up from excess static.

"Now _dat's_ da shiz," Peter commented, gazing at the pretty colors.

"RUN!" Leaf yelled, recalling all of her Pokemon and leaping onto the table, the other three trainers following suit. She shoved the Pokedex and _The Dummy's Guide To Contests_ back into her handbag, and they all paused only a moment to watch the lethal water covering the floor below, getting higher by the second, before they rushed away, leaping from table to table and pushing at each other in an frantic effort to get to the glass door. The blinding electricity followed them, but they managed to get out the door and outside seconds before the cheap leather seats were swamped under, shriveling from the force of the voltage.

The door swung safely shut behind them, but the deadly electricity simply licked at the door, creating cracks in it, threatening to give way. It was suddenly apparent to them that this was no little mishap that could be wished away with a simple call to the fire department; this was real, this was deadly, and they had better be damn sure that they'd all be fried alive if they didn't move out of there in a big hurry. The trainers didn't even bother to look back; the young heroes dashed one way, while Team Rocket ran pell-mell down the other, neither remembering the cause of the whole problem in the first place until a good while later.

Inside McDonald's, the employee who had stood behind the counter was now crouched on top of it, looking over the scene in dismay and disgust: the seats completely ruined; the trash cans overflowing, the trash within soggy and blackened; the screech of somebody in the bathroom who had been caught by surprise. "I don't get paid enough for this," he muttered, launching himself through the drive-in window.

Had he remained there five seconds longer, he would have met his doom.

* * *

"What'll we _do_?" Leaf moaned, wringing her hands in indecision. They were still running, with downtown Pewter vanishing behind them, the road beneath them flowing smoothly into some tidy suburban neighborhoods. Despite the distance, the sirens were still blaring loudly. _Even if the whole city hasn't been flooded by now, we'll still be blamed for the huge mess we made. Ocean probably couldn't have done worse._

"What'll we do?" Lightning repeated grimly, keeping his eyes fixed on the road, which flew under their feet. "What'll we do? We have to keep moving on, that's what we'll do. We can't afford to stick around any longer. They'll probably lock Peach away if we don't." He looked pained at the thought.

"But it wasn't her fault!"

"It wasn't _anyone's_ fault. Not even those goons knew what'd happen. We just have to keep Peach away from water from now on, that's all."

The bright sun, which had been setting, disappeared as soon as Frosti's Sunny Day flickered out, plunging the world into darkness. Blinking frantically from the sudden change, the two runaways attempted to keep from losing direction, but they ended up crashing into a house instead.

"At least they had the decency to put this springy stuff here," Lightning moaned, pulling himself slowly from the hydrangeas.

"Look!" Leaf hissed suddenly, pointing through the window. Lightning grumbled a bit more before walking up and peaking in with her.

The only light inside was coming from the TV, which was glaringly bright against the darkness inside. An old guy was sleeping in an armchair just in front of the window, snoring loudly. The TV was currently airing a news report, in which the reporter was sitting in a helicopter, overlooking the charred ruins of the McDonald's. Its entire ceiling was missing, as were numerous chunks of wall. Against the waves of electricity surrounding it, the fast-food joint looked especially dark and brooding as it belched smoke towards the sky. The large, bright yellow "M" on the building's side was still there, making the scene look even more depressing.

"Here's the spot where this disaster allegedly started," the reporter was yelling, struggling to be heard over the wind. "According to an eyewitness who was working here at the time, the explosion was caused by four teenagers who were vandalizing the place by ordering their Pokemon to dig _straight through the floor_, causing the nearby reservoir underneath to burst, before electrifying the water. The water is currently spreading at a fast rate through the nearby buildings, and is estimated to flood the entire city by tomorrow morning. Local cleanup volunteers are attempting to stop the flow with their Pokemon, but residents of Pewter are strongly advised to evacuate their homes as quickly as possible. Any information on the teenagers who caused this problem should be reported to the local police force. I'm Todd Anderson, signing off on PBC News."

As the report switched over to a stock market update, Leaf turned to Lightning, her eyes wide in horror. "I can't believe this."

"I know, neither can I," Lightning muttered thoughtfully. "I mean, if a city puts its reservoir underneath McDonald's, you _know_ there's something wrong with them."

"That's not what I meant. We just _broke_ a city, Lightning. One minute it's just a normal battle, the next it's all hideously out of control. Remember how bad those tsunamis were a couple years ago, in India, New Orleans, the Sevii Islands? And _they_ weren't electrified. What have we _done_?" she whispered. Her mind turned to the people she knew, who at that moment might be fleeing the city themselves: Brock might have been in the middle of a battle with another newbie, would they hear the news in time? And where would he go? The gym would obviously be obliterated, how would the League react to that? Kaleri would more likely than not be screaming obscenities at this turn of events; it was more than likely that she'd make some sort of heroic attempt to keep the electricity at bay. _As unlike me as possible,_ she thought dejectedly. Roark and Skipper, if they couldn't escape … she pushed the thought out of her head. Of course they'd escape. Skipper wouldn't let Roark … she pushed that away too.

Lightning closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. "Well, the sooner we get out of here, the better," he said reasonably, trying valiantly to conceal his own shock on the situation. "They're probably too busy evacuating people to be looking very hard for us. By the time they're done, we should be halfway to Celadon, and hopefully they'll have forgotten about us. Trust that Gina person to use Waterfall in a restaurant," he added sourly. "No wonder you need certain badges to get HMs; you need to be proved competent before you can get one. And Gina's obviously not very competent."

The sound of sirens grew louder, wailing through the night like a Mightyena in labor. The trainers glanced over their shoulders anxiously before exchanging wide-eyed glances.

"Let's go," Leaf whispered.

Together they stole through the streets, a pair of dark shadows fleeing the dying city.

* * *

Somewhere far away, an island blanketed in peace and quiet sat calmly in the surrounding waters. In a dark, shallow cave overlooking the sandy coast below and the sea beyond, an arcane creature stirred. Its featureless body shimmered as it stretched and looked out on the waning moon, a thin sliver of light in the sky. It lazily stretched out a pseudo-real appendage – an "arm" in the loosest sense of the word – and grabbed a passing Psyduck, cackling madly at the panic in the duck Pokemon's otherwise blank eyes. The water-type struggled uselessly, but was nevertheless engulfed in the black-and-white mass. A crunching sound, like twenty celery sticks breaking all at once, could be heard from within. In an invisible swirl of insanity and the universe's more faulty rules, the Psyduck was annihilated.

The creature, despite all evidence to the contrary, was bored.

Living out here on Cinnabar Island – which the less sophisticated might refer to as "nowhere" – was a stretch, especially when you were doing it for a few hundred years. But he could always count on some idiotic human to try catching him. He'd let them train him for a while before screwing up their world, often driving them insane. Although, he hadn't been caught in years, not since the days when the TMs actually contained _good_ moves. None of this Natural Gift crap.

A soft giggling attracted his attention. Some idiotic couple had decided to watch the "romantic" scenery from the base of his cliff. Didn't they know what sort of monstrous evil lurked here?

In a flash of darkness, he morphed into another form, the one with a shape of utter blackness against which the white eyes and mouth were easily visible. A cloud of some sort of smog shrouded his body. He cracked his knuckles before starting off with a loud, high-pitched scream. Somewhere below, he heard a frightened gasp, much to his delight.

"What's that?"

"Probably just a rabid Noctowl, no need to worry—"

That was his cue to swoop down at them. Drinking in their astonished squeals, he grinned horribly before opening his eyes wider and wider, like two empty pits of death, as he reached at them with claws outstretched …

They leapt up and bolted, screaming all the way. The monster allowed himself an evil cackle, letting it wrack his frame until the entire island shook with it, and numerous Wingull quickly turned around and flew away as fast as their wings could take them. After a few seconds, the cackle dwindled down to a giggle, and then a few gulps of air.

He was quickly bored again.

Another flash of darkness, and he was suddenly some sort of skeletal demon, a nightmare of prehistoric times. A column of sharp spikes cascaded down his spine, and his tail stuck out with all the innocence of a brandished knife. In contrast with his spindly legs and clawed feet, each of his arms ended in a massive scythe, capable of slicing through stone as easily as through hot butter. On his ridged, semicircular head was a pair of dark, blank holes where his eyes should have been, giving the impression that he was blind. How misleading that impression was; he could see everything.

Except—

~You~

The monster swiveled around, only to see no one. "Who's there?" he growled, holding his scythes so they were easily visible.

A breeze swept by, and with it the voice: ~What are you … you … you~

"Can't you see for yourself? I'm not a Pokemon. Not exactly."

He thought he hinted a bit of dark curiosity from the breeze-voice. ~Not human, not Pokemon. What … are … you~

"I'm a … a chaotic." The second the words left his mouth, he snapped it shut. It was the first time he'd actually admitted the fact out loud.

~A chaotic~ The stranger seemed confused. ~What … is that~

The chaotic relaxed slightly. Explaining his existence took a load off his mind, knowing that someone else could understand. "Welllll, you know how Arceus created the world, and all that crap? She used rational laws for that. Gravity, speed of light, et cetera. But all the irrational laws – absolute nothingness, horn space distortion, true chaos – got shoved into a dark corner somewhere. Normally, life wouldn't begin or exist in a place like that. But according to the irrational laws, it could."

~And they … birthed you~

He shifted uncomfortably. "In a sense, yes. It's sort of an agreement thing. As long as the laws exist, we chaotics exist, and vice versa. Some of them get killed off, but that's not a problem."

~Interesting~ the stranger mused. ~So you have some sort of … chaos power~

The chaotic glanced up sharply in surprise. "Well, of course. Obviously the name says it all. I'm one of the more powerful ones, actually. Everyone's terrified of _me_." He puffed himself up proudly, hoping the stranger would take the hint.

Unfortunately, what the chaotic did not realize is that when an evil being runs into the supreme evil being, the latter will always win. Always.

~I am … sure that they are~ the stranger said. ~But it is … difficult to believe. From the way you scared the two humans earlier … it is easy to see that you are powerful … or a poltergeist~

The chaotic lowered his scythes slightly, confused. "What do you mean?"

~Your life has faded … descended into the role of the local ghost. To join me is … to ascend. To become so powerful that the very earth you stand on shrivels in fear and despair~

Involuntarily, the chaotic glanced down at his feet. The gravelly sand scratched between his bony toes as he thought about it. He wiggled his toes, watching the sand shift under and between them, remembering days gone by as he fled from former trainers, who were caught in a storm of irrationality and horror, their bloodcurdling shrieks engraved into his mind. There was no escape for them, the pigs who sought to reduce him to a tool for a mere sport. He didn't regret destroying them.

Then, in a fleeting moment of consent, the stranger attacked.

Leapt into his mind.

The terrified scream could be heard all over the island.

* * *

_(You know, I haven't seen a lot of fics where an eldritch abomination is a _victim. _Weird.)_


	10. A Pint of Ayell

And as the strangely long Mount Moon arc begins, the fic starts to earn its rating. To everyone who might find offense in parodying the Bible: I don't want to hear it. ;/

* * *

Chapter Ten: A Pint of Ayell (A Meeting of Gods! Psychotic Phrygoil?)

Nearly two thousand years earlier, an Absol sat on a lonely rock jutting out from the massive, snow-capped peak of Mount Coronet. He looked out over the colors of the landscape, muted by the darkness of twilight; the olive-green of forests and sapphire-blue of the waters beyond partially hidden by a herd of puffy white clouds. The regal calls of Staraptor echoed in the thin, freezing air, and he shivered slightly before turning to the pile of freeze-dried wood; a blazing Fire Blast leapt from his mouth, and the mass of dancing flames flew through the air for a moment, struggling for existence in the bitter cold, before wrapping around the sticks, licking them lovingly.

He rubbed his paws over the flames for a few minutes, letting them absorb heat like a sponge. It wasn't easy being a prophet, he had decided long ago. It especially wasn't easy being a prophet named Bart, although among humans he was more popularly known as Get-Offa-Mah-Lawn. But the truth still needed to be told, for the good of the world. Even if the world wasn't particularly good to him.

Regretfully, he got to his feet and passed the fire, facing the stony wall of the mountain before him. Its deep gray contrasted sharply with the pure white surrounding it. Taking a deep breath, he launched another Fire Blast, this time at the austere rock wall. The brilliantly glowing inferno poured from his gaping maw, splashing against the mountain's rocky face and casting jet-black shadows behind the campfire and himself. After several seconds his throat started to get really sore, and with a deep breath he cut off the Fire Blast effortlessly, although a few hacking coughs sent some stray embers on the ice-cold rock he stood on, smoldering briefly in a ruby-red glow before their lights winked out in the freezing summer air.

Yes, it was summer.

Bart sighed, then approached the wall, which in the intense heat from seconds before had melted into a sort of squishy yet firm substance, like a constipated Ditto. He lifted one of his paws, flicked out a dangerously sharp black claw, stood up on his hind paws, and began to meditate. He hadn't prophesied in a long time, not since he'd tried interviewing Uxie a long while back for a quote for Divinations, Chapter Three. What he should have realized from the psychic Pokemon's stern demeanor was that any behavior towards him short of rigid formality was like _asking_ for the legendary's divine wrath. Thusly his "Yeah, I know what you mean" had earned him a week-long memory lapse, though people told him later that he'd been stumbling around with his tongue sticking out of his mouth, slapping his chest with a paw and occasionally murmuring "Duuurrrrrr…"

Well, he wasn't about to make that mistake again. This time he was going to do the thing properly. He'd be formal all the way.

He let his mind wander, carried through the perilous stream of time towards the future. Snatches of time flew past, giving him brief glimpses of burning villages and rampaging Gyarados before fading back into nothingness. It wasn't as if he could decide where in time he looked; certain events that hadn't happened yet simply called to him, and he had to come.

_One thousand years … eleven hundred years … twelve hundred years …_

Distantly, he could feel his paw hovering above the stone, ready to transcribe whatever he saw. He'd found out ages ago that stone, softened by the heat of intense fire, was the best material for recording while prophesying. The wind didn't ruin it, the rain couldn't wash it out, and any birds who were stupid enough to fly into it would be _really_ sorry.

_Seventeen hundred … eighteen hundred … nineteen hundred …_

He had almost hit two thousand when he stopped abruptly, standing still in the timestream. Something was calling to him from that time, something with a pull so strong that his heart and soul would surely implode if he couldn't answer the call. It yanked him in, jerking him from the treacherous, speeding currents of time into the comforting security of real time, ticking away second by second rather than blending millennia with milliseconds.

On the distant mountain, his claw dug into the softened stone as he wrote what he thought.

_I. Now it came to pass that in the morning, three legendary beings met in a dark, spacious place, and only they could pass the threshold thereof._

_II. And behold, the cave was like unto the darkest of nights, and nothing could be seen therein, and the voices of the three beings could be heard therein._

_III. And the first voice spake, and it was like unto an ocean of the purest silver. And it said unto its brethren:_ "Verily, my children, I say unto you: the most ancient of evils has awakened, even our oldest foe; yea, and we shall all be wracked in misery and eternal woe if he should achieve his goal."

_IV. And the second voice spake, and it was like unto the wind on a grassy hill. And it said unto the first,_ "Mom, give it a rest already. Quit talking like an old person. And why are we being referred to as "brethren" anyway? We're all female, damn it!"

_V. Then the first said unto the second_: "Nay, my daughter, for in the trials and afflictions which all living things must endure, we are all like unto brethren in a storm of eternal anguish. And behold, to endure all things in all places together is to overcome the night, and raise the light of the sun."

_VI. And the second was wroth, and said_, "Whatever. Now will somebody _please_ just get to the point and explain what's actually going on? So that this bloody prophet who's watching us can write something besides your old-person jibberish?"

_VII. And the third voice spake, and it was bold like unto a bronze axe. And it said unto them_, "Apparently the Missing One has been possessed by dear old Appy. Any thoughts?"

_VIII. The first said unto them,_ "The like of this is unto a double-edged sword; yea, for the sake of our own peace of mind we had condemned an annoyance to exile, only for him to be stricken with our darkest foe."

_IX. The second snorted and didst say unto them,_ "Oh, that's _real_ peachy. Let's all go kill ourselves while we have the chance."

_X. The third agreed and said unto them,_ "Well, it sure as hell won't be pretty."

_XI. And a vision of such a future as this entered their minds; yea, and it was bleak like unto the fate of a ship in a hurricane, for behold, the three didst see the world perish within a lake of fire and brimstone, and the torment thereof was terrible to witness. And the vision didst vanish as quickly as it had come._

_XII. Then there was silence for the space of half an hour._

"No, there was not! You're trying to make this sound all hopeless, aren't you?"

"Thou mayest be mistaken, for I shalt not—"

Bart was suddenly aware that, were there any light in the cave, the owner of the second voice would be glaring at him murderously. "Please," she snarled, "Shut. Your. Trap."

"Which prophet are you, anyway?" the third voice asked, in an effort to keep the second under control.

"Um…" he faltered. "Well, I'm … called Bart."

The second voice sounded surprised. "You mean Bart Simpson?"

"I dost not know of him, whosoever he may be," the prophet said carefully. "Thou shouldst believe me when I dost say—"

"Minnie, he's obviously not a Simpson," the third voice interrupted reasonably. "The only thing a Simpson could prophesize is … well … certain bodily functions—"

"I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE AND IT LOOKS LIKE I'M SURE AS HELL GONNA HAVE TO TELL YOU AGAIN: DON'T — CALL — ME — 'MINNIE'!" the second roared. There was a sound of hundreds of small things rustling against the cavern floor.

"YEAH? WELL, YOU'RE ALWAYS CALLING ME 'TORI', YOU PRECOCIOUS LITTLE RUNT!" the third roared back. The howling rush of wind beat against the walls.

Bart cringed. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"MY DAUGHTERS!" howled the first. There was a brilliant flash, not of light, but of power. It stung Bart's senses, and his body in the past sneezed loudly. "DOST THE TWO OF THEE NEEDST BE SEPARATED?"

Abruptly the wind died down, the rustling ceased. There was a moment of ringing silence.

Then: "No, Mom."

"Sorry, Mom."

"Good. Now I sayest unto thee, prophet – art thou writing this down?"

"Yes, I am," Bart said, frantically jolting his body back to attention.

_XIII. Then the first didst say unto me:_ "Now I sayest unto thee, prophet, that the darkest of all evils hast taken possession of a powerful chaotic, yea, and through his trickery and cunning he may destroy everything we dost hold dear."

_XIV. Then I didst see a vision; yea, and there was a tall mountain in the background thereof. And behold, there were two young humans, male and female, which did walk towards it. And behold, the maid wast exceedingly fair, and the young man wast exceedingly short. And I noted that a Pichu and Charmander didst travel with them._

_XV. Now the first spake unto me yet again, saying_: "Behold, if the Lord of Evil dost continue successfully on his venture, then these two children which thou dost see shall be called to prevent the horrors of that which wouldst follow. For behold, the Twins of Fate hast claimed them, and hast thrown them into the perilous depths of adventure."

"I've _tried_ to keep those bloody Twins under control, but nooooo, they just have to screw up everything all the time and leave me to clean it all up," the third sighed. "Should I go tell them to stop, Mom?"

"Such action mayest not be wise, my daughter, for it mayest be possible that other legendaries dost seek to place the Lord of Evil into that power which he dost crave."

"Treachery in the legendary ranks?" A hiss of breath escaped from the third. "Impossible."

"But it's like nothing's impossible these days," the second drawled patiently. 'They keep advertising that on TV. "Try our product and all your dreams will come true … buy today!' Bleh." There was a sound of insolent spitting. "Why don't they just come clean and say 'Hey, if you don't buy what we're selling then we're gonna use the power of money to sic the government on your sorry little asses.'"

Bart didn't answer. He was too busy writing, translating the conversation into a more "elevated" language and trying to deduce what exactly a "TV" was.

"We shouldst not let the others know that we mayest be onto them," the first continued. "Dost thou agree?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Whatever, Mom."

"I thinkest thou dost need an attitude adjustment."

"Aw, no, Mom—"

"We shall bide our time," the first said, smoothly cutting the second short. "The Missing One may yet shake the hold which the Lord of Evil dost have on him. If such dost not happen…" She trailed off.

Bart hurriedly finished what he had been writing, waiting patiently for the first voice to continue.

"If it dost not happen, we shall have to act speedily."

* * *

"C'mon, Leaf! You said it before, we need to be speedy here!"

"I know, I know," the girl called ahead without conviction, unable to take her eyes off the scene far below. The night before, the wreckage had glowed dazzlingly bright, its yellow and blue currents of light shining beautifully against the darkness of twilight. But now, in the natural light of morning and the electricity having finally died away, the devastation could be seen in all its glory (or lack thereof), displaying the fried buildings swamped in clouded water with depressing clarity. Helicopters, looking hopelessly small against the hellish background, hummed to and fro over the disaster like bees in a tropical greenhouse, indecisive of which flower to approach first. Even the most black-hearted person would find that a little of themselves would have died upon seeing the tragically final wreckage of that once great city.

"Leaf! C'mon! Get over it already!" Frosti, sitting on her shoulder peacefully like a good little reptile, swung at her head with an Iron Tail, taking care to prevent actual damage by aiming at her ear. Unfortunately, he seemed to have forgotten Brock's advice about inaccurate moves, and the glowing tail caught her full on the head, knocking her forward into the grassy earth and giving her a nice mouthful of moss.

"Pfffftbbffft! Yech. Frosti, are you crazy?"

"Well, really." The Charmander bit his lip, looking apologetic as he stepped to the ground and helped her to her feet. "Sorry. Guess I don't know my own strength."

"What strength?"

"Hahaha, very funny, Leaf."

"No, really—"

"Ahem."

Leaf jumped about ten feet into the air, shrieking. Lightning, who had sidled up to her side sneakily to whisper into her ear, smirked as he watched his traveling partner attempt to untangle herself from an overhanging tree branch.

"That was so not funny!" she fumed.

"It was freaking hilarious!"

"Yeah, it's all fun and games until someone gets a heart attack, right?" Leaf asked sarcastically. Scowling, she glanced down at the ground beneath, shut her eyes tightly, and let go.

"OOOF!"

"Whoops! Sorry Frosti!"

"Now we're even, right?" Frosti grinned up at her weakly. "Now please get up. I think my tail is burning your pants."

Leaf jumped about ten feet into the air, shrieking.

"Déjà vu, anyone?" Lightning asked with a good-natured sigh, looking up at the furious, thrashing form of Leaf, stuck in the tree branch again. "I've said it before, but it bears repeating: I'm glad I'm not a girl."

"_Everyone's_ glad you're not a girl, darling," Peach sighed romantically, running a paw through his hair as they watched Leaf struggle gracelessly.

* * *

"I'm a girl!" Phlash Phryer shrieked happily, zigzagging from tree to tree to gnarled tree. "I'm a girl! I'm a girl! I'm a girl!"

"_What_ exactly is she doing?" Cobalt asked tiredly, marching up the rugged trail as if it were a mountain, which, being made almost right on Mount Moon's side, it technically was. There was the normal trail, which trainers preferred for its lower chance of death, and then there was the family of steep, treacherous trails, of which this one was merely a little brother, its slope a relatively shallow forty-five degrees. The only reason anyone would use one of these daredevil dust paths would be to cut their travel time considerably, charging head-on at the height rather than winding back and forth. After all, he wanted to get as far away from the disaster scene as possible. Not that he was sorry for it; the Boss would probably promote him for being the only Rocket so far to actually destroy a city.

Bulbasaur shrugged. Despairing from lack of intelligent life-forms, Cobalt had decided to let her out for a breather. She was trotting by his side, scowling at nothing in particular. "How should I know? You think I can read weasel minds or something?"

Phlash zipped around a tree, snapping at it every now and then with her huge fangs. "The sky-ee-aye-ee-aye-ee-aye-ee-ayyyyyyyyye issssss bluuuuuuuueee…" she sang, her voice cracking from the horrendous off-key-ness.

Cobalt gritted his teeth. The soft, feathery hairs on his pale purple wig danced in the slight breeze.

"So how do you plan to put up with her again?" The dinosaur snapped at a passing fat fly, but spat it out in horror when she realized she'd actually managed to catch it. "Yech. I'm hungry, by the way. I haven't eaten since that last battle you used me in, you know."

"...and I-ee-aye-ee-aye-ee-aye-ee-ayyyyyyyyye lurrrrrve youuuuu…"

"I remember every detail of that day. I'll tell you—"

"I don't want to hear it!"

"Hush!" Gina hissed, somewhere in the tall, dense bushes lining the trail. "Don't talk so loud! I'm listening for the mating call of the rare male Anorexic Wailord! They're looking for unsuspecting baby Diglett to jump on—"

Bulbasaur rolled her eyes at Gina's stupidity. "You'd rather listen to that. Right."

"…I've got my eye-ee-ayessss on you, 'cuz I don't despi-ee-ise-uh you…"

"It was a sad story, really. You tossed me a lettuce head and said 'Bulbasaur, we're fighting Surge in ten minutes,' and I said 'Oh really?' and you said 'Yeah really!' and I said 'No way!' and you said—"

"I don't want to hear it." Cobalt glanced in Gina's general direction, but the girl didn't complain about his volume.

"Whatever. I'm your slave, I'm supposed to entertain you, remember? So you send me out against his Sirplus, which naturally almost kills me, and then Laint Surge says—"

"Excuse me. _Laint_?"

"You idiot. It's what the L-T stands for."

Cobalt facepalmed. "It stands for 'lieutenant'! Not 'laint', lieutenant!"

Bulbasaur blinked. "Really? All this time I thought—"

"Forget it."

"Whatever. Anyways, _Lieutenant_ Surge says, 'You got spunk, kiddo. That makes you even more fun to pound into the floor.' And you say, 'I won't lose!' Pffft. Famous last words. Then you go all retarded and yell, 'Bulbasaur, Vine Whip!' I'm already paralyzed by the bastard's Thunder Wave, but does that convince you to pull me out? No. Instead you say, 'C'mon, Bulbasaur, we can do this! I have faith in you!' You moron. Faith isn't going to stop defeat from tasting like sh—"

"Bulbasaur."

They paused in their stride. The Pokemon smirked darkly at her trainer's harsh gaze; she had struck a nerve.

"You are _never_ to talk about my noob days again," he growled menacingly. "Am I clear on that?"

"Considering the sorry state of your brain—"

"_I said, am I clear?"_

Bulbasaur frowned. It wasn't like him to get worked up about something, especially something as trivial as this. "Fine, fine. Sheesh."

"Good." Cobalt relaxed visibly.

"I really don't see why such a stupid thing should make you so touchy."

"Oh, weeee want the funk … gotta have that funk, oh weeee need the funk…"

"Just call me Cobalt from now on, okay? Not my first name, just Cobalt."

Bulbasaur eyed him slyly. "Why? Don't your Rocket buddies know full well that your name is—"

"Daddy!"

"Phlashy!"

Looking around, Cobalt saw Phlash and another Phrygoil bouncing around the tree excitedly, squealing. The new Phrygoil, he noticed, was slightly thicker in the neck and chest, due to his greater age.

"You lived through the bunch of lights, Daddy! Congratulations!"

"So did you, Phlashy! You're awesome! You're also very phabulous!"

"Did the whole tribe get out? If they fried it would've been funny!"

"Yeah, but your granny didn't! She saw Ronald McDonald eating Dippin' Dots!"

"Wow! Visions? They're cool! She's been saved by the grace of McDonald!"

"You mean grease?"

"That too!"

"Yay!" they both said at the same time.

Bulbasaur sighed. "It seems that wherever you go, _Cobalt_, insanity follows you like it was sent from Sentarpen. But that fits, because you're retarded. So if you'll excuse me—"

"Oh no you don't!" he said, grabbing her by the bulb before she could return herself to her Poke Ball. "If I have to deal with them, I'm dragging you down with me!"

"Nooooooooo!"

"Sheesh, calm down. It's not like they're going to drink your blood or something."

"Look, Daddy, that's Weird Hair Guy! He's funny and weird! He caught me and now he's going to take me to spread the word of McDonald! And there's a little pimple-toad with him! Let's drink its blood!"

"Okay!" her dad said happily, and sprang forward, fangs bared.

"Cut that out," Cobalt said tiredly, picking up Bulbasaur and whisking her out of harm's way. Plash's dad snapped at the air where she had been a second before, and looked up, confused. "She's mine," the trainer explained.

"Oh," said the Phrygoil, looking disappointed. "But it would've been so much phun."

"And Weird Hair Guy, this is my daddy, Phather Phryer," said Phlash.

"What? I'm a daddy? I don't get it, your honor, I didn't even _look_ at that droolishly sexy phemale," Phather said, speaking into empty space with a deranged look on his face. "Let them eat phish."

"Wrong year, daddy," said Phlash. Turning to Cobalt, she whispered conspiratorially, "He's not really right in the noggin."

"Noooo, really?"

"Yeah, really. But it's okay, as long as he stays on his meds most of the time, the Donphan he sees aren't pink."

"Ah…"

"Okay, Daddy, we have to go now. But I'll convert everybody, okay?"

"Okay, my sexy Snorlax."

"He's very sweet, really," Phlash said fondly as they set off again, looking briefly over her shoulder at Phather, who was now attempting to make out with a stump. "The kids will look after him. I have twenty brothers and sisters, you know. I'm the oldest. Fweeheehee."

"…" Bulbasaur jerked herself from Cobalt's grip, landing with a thump on the trail.

"You're a yummy steak," Phlash commented to Bulbasaur, beaming at her.

Bulbasaur growled darkly at this.

"Okay, guys, no fighting!"

"I said to shut up for the Wailord!"

Not for the last time, Cobalt wondered how many IQ points he was going to lose on this mission.

* * *

A while after Leaf had finally been convinced to at least try and get over her guilt over destroying one of the prides and joys of the Pokemon world, she and Lightning neared the base of Mount Moon. Its tall peak grazed the wisps of clouds gathering around it, and gnarled trees grew on its rocky surface at awkward angles. Numerous dark holes dotted its base, displaying entrances to the intricate network of tunnels within, although the main entrance dwarfed them all, being at least three times larger than the runner-up. Running along its north side sat a long, deep gorge, through which flowed the roaring, wild Moon River, its white water pounding against the cliff faces as it sped westward toward Johto. On the distant north-eastern horizon, the silhouettes of tall mountains, the source of the River, framed the brilliant blue sky.

The Pokemon Center, by comparison, looked rather dull and boring, sitting clumsily by the far more majestic mountain. Several other newbie trainers would be stocking up on supplies at a few of the small stores nearby, preparing for the journey into the dark caverns within. Many would even stall here for time, attempting in vain to build up courage to move on.

"Ahhhhhh!" Leaf and Lightning sighed in unison as they entered the Pokemon Center, its air conditioning a welcome relief from the growing heat outside. Frosti scowled slightly, but said nothing.

"Hello, noobs!" the Nurse Joy behind the counter chirped happily, beaming at them as if they'd won something.

_This nurse thing is going to get really annoying_, Leaf thought darkly.

"Healing up for your journey?" the Nurse continued, as they walked towards her. "Everyone does. I'd probably have to sue you for Pokemon abuse if you didn't."

Looking incredulous, the teenagers returned their Pokemon before unclipping their other occupied Poke Balls and setting them all on the counter. "You're kidding, right?" Lightning asked nervously.

"Nope!" chirped the Nurse, taking the Poke Balls and placing them onto some sort of machine behind her, numerous Poke Ball-sized slots indenting its surface. Displaying the picture, status, and owner's name of each Pokemon on a screen on its side, the machine hummed a moment before letting off a high-pitched ding. Abruptly it popped three of the Poke Balls into the air, like some sort of alien toaster. Joy deftly snatched them out of midair and placed them casually back onto the counter, smiling at her wide-eyed clients. "Your Weedle, Caterpie, and Nidoran are good to go," she said happily. "But the others will need to be here for just a bit longer." She eyed Lightning, and suddenly her expression was stern. "You haven't been taking very good care of your Pichu, young man."

Lightning stiffened in shock. "What? Yes I have!"

"You've been making her use Volt Tackle several times in succession. Don't you know that move hurts the Pokemon that uses it?"

The boy opened his mouth, shut it, opened it, and shut it again, like a beached Magikarp. "I didn't know—"

"That," the nurse interrupted, "is obvious." Her expression softened at his helplessness. "I'm sorry for snapping at you like that," she said, a bit apologetic. "I get sort of protective around hurt Pokemon … anyway, you should be limiting the use of that move from now on, understand? Use it only when you need to."

"Only when I need to," Lightning repeated in a humbled voice, taking Peter's and Dory's Poke Balls back.

"Good." She turned to Leaf, and the cheeriness saturated her voice again. "Your Pokemon are—"

A sudden tremor cut her off, vibrating through the air and shaking the room somewhat. Chairs bounced up and down slightly, and a couple of Poke Balls rolled out from a side room behind the nurse. The young teenagers gasped and clung to the counter, holding on until their knuckles turned white, but after the initial shock had set in they realized that the quaking was quite mild and was merely rattling the room about a little.

Joy sighed, her voice jumping around with the tremor. "F-fifth on-n-n-ne this-s-s we-ee-ee-k-k."

Leaf frowned. Earthquakes, like evil clowns and the influence of testosterone, were not things to be taken lightly. "Wha-a-at's caus-s-sing them-m?"

The nurse shrugged. "I hav-v-ve no id-d-d-d-dea, b-but it see-ee-ee-eems t-to b-be com-ming from the-e-e moun-n-ntain."

As abruptly as the quake started, it ceased. Lightning looked around nervously, wondering if it was just about to start again, but when it didn't he painfully released his tight grip on the counter, prying his fingers off from around the edge. Leaf let go with less of a hassle.

Joy smiled, and resumed with what she had been saying before. "Anyways, your Pokemon are in better condition, but they still need to be fully healed for your adventure." She winked.

"Ah … thank you?"

"You're welcome!"

Excusing themselves politely, the two left the Center as fast as possible. Even a mere newbie knows when to leave behind the presence of a person who is loopy enough to use more than one exclamation mark in a row, especially after an earthquake.

Outside, they reeled from the sudden change in temperature. It was cooler that day, but the air conditioner in the Pokemon Center still made the air seem thick and dry.

Lightning started to turn to Leaf to ask what they should do while waiting, when suddenly a kid yelled, "Look, down there! It's Kaleri Kutter!"

A mass of young trainers suddenly swarmed towards the voice of the crier, sweeping from the stores and various places in the surrounding bushes. Leaf and Lightning exchanged glances, shrugged, and followed the crowd, kicking up dust as they went.

The multitude halted at the edge of the river, staring down into it and waving frantically. Struggling to get a better view of the scene, our heroes circumnavigated the apparent fans and found their own little spot at a small boulder a little ways from the crowd, looking into the pounding, treacherous river. White waves pounded against the rocky cliff faces on either side, rushing westward with unstoppable determination.

And surfing _against_ the current, pushing though the waves, was a slender, serpentine Pokemon. His cream-colored body shone in the sun, wet scales reflecting dazzling light. His tail, a collage of magenta and sapphire scales, ended in four longer scales, which formed a sort of fan that splashed through the icy water, sending a refreshing spray everywhere. Long, pink eyebrow fins bounced up and down as the Milotic swam through the water, and a pair of pink antennae also sprouted from his pointed head. Around his neck was a black cord, from which a sparkling blue teardrop hung.

Sitting on his back sat Kaleri, who was looking stunning herself in her mere shorts and tank top, laughing in joy as the Milotic slithered up and down the waves. She was oblivious to the crowd watching her; however, Milotic had noticed them and, never slacking in pace, snaked his head over toward her and jerked it upwards, drawing her attention to them. With a broad grin, she waved happily at her beloved fans, a sure sign that she was unaware that Lightning was there.

Fokagirl, sitting behind her trainer, waved as well, a strange-looking bracelet circling her fluffy wrist. It boasted a large, poisonously purple orb, which caught the sunlight and threw back a rainbow of indigos and violets. Another Pokemon, this one more closely resembling a human, sat on Milotic's head and nodded sagely at the watching kids. Her thin white body seemed to morph into a skirt at the waist, which did an awful job of covering her green, tapered legs. Her deep red eyes were framed by a pair of Wise Glasses, and a pair of blunt red horns jutted from beneath the folds of her hair, which was, for some strange reason, yellow. Leaf squinted, trying to think – was that Kirlia's shiny color? A few seconds later logic caught up with her: of course she wasn't a shiny, her hair had merely been dyed bright blond.

"That's Safegirl!" Lightning said excitedly, gesturing at the blond Kirlia. "And Pulson, he's the most amazing Milotic ever! And there's Fokagirl, of course." His delighted expression faded as he looked over them again, and he pointed, lip turned up in contempt. "But what on earth is _that_?"

Following his finger, Leaf realized that there was a fifth individual down there, sitting in front of Kaleri and looking extremely plain compared to the four beautiful ones surrounding him. He was the silver Pokemon from the day before, who had nearly blasted Lightning's head off. His large black eyes passively returned the watchers' stares, and he looked almost bored.

Leaf looked for any more distinguishing features…

And looked…

And looked…

And looked…

And looked some more…

"Leaf, you might as well stop looking," Lightning sighed, "it's getting annoying. That thing, 'Shadowson', I believe, is just blah. She probably ended his little time-out early so he could repel people."

The girl was forced to agree. A body, four legs, a head, a small tail: that was basically it. He wasn't muscular or adorable or anything, he simply was. This is not to say that he was ugly, because he wasn't remarkable even in that respect. His dull silvery fur didn't give off a stunning "beautiful" vibe; instead, it gave off an almost undetectable "valuable" one. He was like a sink that somebody famous had washed their hands in.

"Seriously, even a Ditto is more interesting, appearance-wise." Lightning turned away, disgusted. "What _she's_ doing with something like that, I have no idea…"

"_Considering she's an expert coordinator, it makes sense to take on a challenge like that,"_ the Pokedex commented unexpectedly, peeking from Leaf's handbag as usual.

"Why's that?"

"_I was hoping you'd ask. Ayell, the Unlovable Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Crushable, Weight is Not a Pro Wrestler. It's overlooked frequently because it simply looks like nothing interesting. It can pick one of two ways to survive: just cruisin' as its uncool self so predators don't notice it even when it's in plain sight, or using one of five of what the stupid people call the 'Styles of Survival'. If it masters a retarded style enough, it might even manage to evolve. And if you can get an Ayell to evolve, you will _own_ the contests. No lie."_

"Wow," Leaf said, surprised. "The Pokedex actually said something informational for once."

"_Don't I always?"_

"She has an Ayell?" Lightning looked stricken. "That was an _Ayell_? I'm doomed!" He moaned and put his head in his hands in a defeated manner, peeking through his fingers to watch Pulson around the bend and out of sight. Their idol having vanished, the crowd dispersed, muttering excitedly among themselves of Kaleri and her voyage towards Cerulean City.

Leaf snorted. "Lightning, you need confidence. Badly. That thing is not gonna beat you."

"Yes it is!"

"No, it's not. It's a cat without a life, so drop it. It's not worth paying attention to."

Lightning didn't respond. Sighing, Leaf looked out on the scenery on the other side of the river, a journey for another day that may or may not come.

They had only been sitting there a few minutes, waiting for their Pokemon to be healed at the Center, when a sudden quaking bounced them around painfully, shaking the land and everything on it. Terrified of being knocked into the river, Lightning shrieked and grabbed at the earth, fingers digging into the hard, dusty layers of dirt. Gripping the small boulder nearby, Leaf clung for her life. Wild land Pokemon squealed and darted from their hiding places in bushes, looking for a safer hiding spot, and birds squawked as the trees they perched on flung them into the air, where they were safe from the violently shaking ground. This wasn't the tame quake from the Pokemon Center; this was _big_.

Nearby, Mount Moon shook dangerously, knocking several large rocks loose from its higher ledges and sending them crashing down around its base and into the river. The large, gaping hole in its side, which marked the main entrance into the twisting caves within, yawned a dark yawn even with the chaos surrounding it. Leaf looked towards its endless maw and shuddered: suppose this earthquake was coming from the mountain itself? What sort of thing might lurk within to cause this strange phenomenon?

The earth rumbled deeper, rising to a dark crescendo and a foreboding of something tragic to come.

And come it did.

* * *

Pain rushed through the chaotic's mind, shooting waves of pain that made him grit his teeth in agony … or would have, if his teeth were his anymore. How anyone could endure this other being's presence for this long and live, he had no idea. He credited it to his own sheer power and force of will, but that was doing as much good as a rubber band stretched across a highway in an attempt to halt a speeding truck.

The being pushed him ever further back, down into the dark folds of his unorganized mind … down, down, down—

It stopped. He struggled, confused, shrouded in darkness and locked in the body that was no longer his own. He could see through his eyes, but it was as if he were watching a movie from a great distance; so far away … attempting to move his gnarled hand, it refused to move from his side.

And inwardly he shuddered as the Lord of Evil used his new mouth to speak.

"Foolish one, I will indeed make you powerful, trample those you despise under your feet and cast them into everlasting destruction … just not in the way you believed I would."

The chaotic attempted to reply, but his jaw would no longer obey his command.

The Lord of Evil continued, neither knowing nor caring of his prisoner's distress. "My unknowing slaves cause great wreckage in the northern mountain. It shall result in my first **Crushing** in this time around. You will one day be honored to have helped me in this."

The tormented chaotic struggled harder, in vain.

* * *

A muffled explosion from within the depths of Mount Moon added to the already violent earthquake, and Leaf gazed in horror as a large number of rocks were blasted from the main entrance, the hard projectiles moving outwards at a lethal speed. Instinctively she ducked, involuntarily ramming her head on the boulder. The pulsing pain erupting in her head couldn't block out the grim whistle rushing above her, as some rocks sliced through the space where her head had been seconds before.

As before, the shaking stopped abruptly, leaving Leaf covered in dust. In the ringing silence, there was a shrill, mangled squeal, cut off by a _pwisssh_ sound, like a water balloon popping. The subliminal hiss of air could be heard, but barely. Puzzled, Leaf shakily got to her feet and looked around for the source of the noises.

Her eyes widened as they fell upon the sight, and she forced herself to swallow the bile rising rapidly in her throat.

A large rock sat a few feet away from the teens, and pinned to it by a sharp, pointed rock was a dead Jigglypuff. Its rapidly deflating pink body leaked a sickening combination of blood and pus from the hole in its gut. The bulge of its dark stomach was beginning to peek out of the hole, like a dog's nose. Its large green eyes were glazed, its mouth forever fixed in a silent scream. Air continued to hiss softly from its limp carcass, which draped around the rock like a discarded banana peel.

"What—?" Lightning began, noticing Leaf's horrified expression. Following her gaze, he gasped and rushed towards the edge of the river, just in time to be violently sick into it.

"_When they say Jigglypuff's the balloon Pokemon, they aren't kidding_," the Pokedex said helpfully. _"Did you know that eighty-two percent of it is made up of air? Now you know exactly what Airheads are made of. And they don't have bones, either, so they can't get boners. I feel bad for them_."

At this point, Leaf was of two minds. The death was horrible and disgusting, of course. And yet … and yet, she remembered how much Jigglypuff's cutesy, cheerful antics that she'd seen on TV had utterly disgusted her as a kid, and how she'd wondered what sort of Barbie-doll worshipper would want to catch one. In a way, seeing her old childhood "enemy" defeated with such finality was, to some extent, perversely satisfying. Some primal corner from within wanted to tweak Jigglypuff's withered pink food and giggle, _Wanna sing for me, Jiggly? Sing me a song. Just one. What, so shy all of a sudden? Pity. We coulda had such fun…_

"_Leaf_!"

Snapping back to reality, Leaf realized that she had been leaning forward, about to poke Jigglypuff in the forehead. She jerked her hand back and shivered. _Get a hold on yourself, girl,_ she thought, grabbing her wrist with her other hand and glancing up at the sky nervously. _This isn't the time for not acting normal._ "Sorry," she muttered sheepishly, unwilling to turn and brace herself for whatever expression was on Lightning's face. "I'm just weird. We should probably clean this up, though. Cheri, go!"

A beam of neon-red light, and the small Weedle appeared, looking around in confusion. Noticing the Jigglypuff, she took a double take and stared, shrinking back slightly. "Oh, dear," she whispered.

"I know, it's a mess."

"No." Cheri turned to her trainer, a look of horror and foreboding that seemed, somehow, to see this as merely part of a bigger picture. When she spoke, however, she sounded deadly calm, and much older than her age. "No, you don't understand. It's been **Crushed**, the first of many. A sign. The world's about to end."

* * *

_(Have I mentioned how much I love Phlash? Because I do, seriously. I LOL so hard whenever I write dialogue involving her. :D )_

And now, info on Ayell~

Ayell  
Type: Normal  
Classification: Blending Pokemon  
Height: 1'00"  
Weight: 9.3 lbs.  
Abilities: Hustle/Adaptability  
Egg Groups: Ground/Fairy  
Gender: 87.5% male, 12.5% female  
Color: Gray  
Catch Rate: 45  
Evolution:  
Ayell → (maxed Cuteness) → ?  
Ayell → (maxed Toughness) → ?  
Ayell → (maxed Smartness) → ?  
Ayell → (maxed Coolness) → ?  
Ayell → (maxed Beauty) → ?

Sometimes referred to as "the Coordinator's Eevee", Ayell is considered quite a challenge to take on in contests, due to its lack of interesting features. Its classification as the "blending" Pokemon refers to how it can easily blend into the background to avoid detection. Another similarity to Eevee is that its name also comes fr_o_m two letters: A-L are the last two letters in the word "appeal".


	11. The Name of the Game

Now that we're actually getting good stuff here, I'll probably be increasing the time between putting up chapters. Otherwise they'll all be up within a week, and then everyone'll have to wait for the month or so it usually takes for me to get a chapter done. :P

* * *

Chapter Eleven: The Name of the Game (Pastime to Interest the Dead!)

"Okay, okay, we're moving!" Leaf snapped, rushing from the Pokemon Center with Frosti's and Paris's Poke Balls in tow. Lightning followed right behind, Peach looking confused on his shoulder.

"It's beginning!" Cheri said frantically. She was wrapped around Leaf's neck, like some lethal, pointed scarf. Leaf didn't particularly mind this arrangement, as Cheri's body felt comfortably warm against her skin, but she did wish the bug Pokemon would stop wagging her spiked tail around. Getting poisoned was not high on her list of priorities.

"Okay, you lost me at 'the world is ending'," Peach said a bit irritably, her worried glare directed toward Cheri. "If you would _kindly_ elaborate, maybe I'd be happier with some explanation about why you dragged my butt out of there before I was ready."

"Hey, kids."

Startled, Leaf skidded to a halt as a shady-looking, unshaven guy stepped out of one of the bushes, a large brown overcoat draping around him. At the sight of the middle-aged man, Lightning squealed and ducked behind Leaf, worried that perhaps he had cronies with him.

"Relax, relax," the man drawled. "I'm just a businessman. People around hear refer to me as—" He paused, glancing around furtively before returning to his unfinished sentence: "the _Salesman_."

Lightning gulped. "Not drugs, I hope."

"Nah, drugs are overrated. Can't get good marijuana anymore. No, what I sell is—" He drew a deep breath for dramatic effect. "_Pokemon_."

Leaf stared at the Salesman analytically, wondering if this was Cobalt in another lame disguise; however, a quick glance revealed that he was far too pudgy to boast the sharp, almost aquiline features of Cobalt. Besides, he was balding. Not a wig for miles.

"I got almost every subspecies here," he continued, throwing his overcoat open to reveal that its inside lining was covered with at least twenty Poke Balls – far more than the legal maximum carrying amount. "Cerulean Crimson, Pallet Brokefin, Dewford Pinchgill, Grayvine Orange … even the Rage Noobkiller! You don't find many of _them_ apples just lying around."

Leaf rolled her eyes. "That's cute, but we're in a bit of a rush. If you'll just—"

"And at the low, low price of five hundred credits!" the Salesman continued hurriedly. "Limited time offer!"

Lightning's eyes glowed. "Really? Only five hundred for a … whatever it is?"

"No time!" Cheri keened shrilly, panicking. Her flailing tail lashed about suddenly, and the Salesman, startled, fell backward and landed on the hard ground with a curse. His Poke Balls rattled at the impact, and one of them was jerked off, flying ungracefully through the air for a moment before bouncing off the ground, in a sort of crash-landing roll – right towards the river.

"DAMN IT!" the Salesman roared, and lunged toward it. He was too late, however: the Ball soared right over the edge of the gorge, flying for a moment before smashing into the other rocky side. Shattering violently, a burst of blue light radiated from it for a moment, before condensing into a wide-eyed, flailing Magikarp. The fish's mouth opened and shut rapidly as she squealed in fear, tumbling after the remains of the Poke Ball into the raging depths of the river.

Leaf blinked a few times before a little detail she had overlooked clicked into place: the Magikarp was a bright golden. _Lot of shinies turning up, it seems,_ she thought, bracing herself.

"URGHHHH!" The Salesman turned purple with rage, swiveling back around to face them. "That was my best merchandise! Little bastards. Attack them, my minions!"

With astounding speed, he plucked off one Poke Ball after the other, tossing them onto the stretch of ground between them. In every beam of red light a Magikarp materialized, looking as fearsome as only a retarded-looking orange fish can look. Opening and shutting their mouths stupidly, they bounced up and down to keep themselves in motion, and some bounced on top of others, knocking each other down in an effort to be on top. The Salesman, looking a bit smug, caught each Poke Ball with ease as it flew back toward him, and placed each in its appropriate space, leaving only four or five Magikarp out of the battle.

"Now you've done it, Cheri," Leaf sighed.

"_Hellu, chums!"_

"Oh, not _you_ again!"

"_You wound me. Seriously, now I've got this big gaping hole where my undying love for you used to be. It's right here in my CPU, and it's just_ killing _me. I'm gonna cry."_ A mechanical sniffing emanated from the Pokedex's speakers. _"Never betray me again, love. Anyway, as I was saying, these buggers that you see here are Magikarp, the "Most Retarded Pokemon of All" Pokemon. Gender is Crowd-Surfing-Turned-Orgy, hell yeah! Height is Little Sushi Boy, Weight is Smashed Pumpkin. Yeah, I'm pretty much going to say what you already know: it's stupid, pathetic, weak, retarded, unintelligent, puny, brainless, thick-skulled, scrawny, and more than a little slow upstairs. But did you know that they are also packed with enough nutrients to make a light bulb explode? Even though they taste like the only thing they produce: UTTER CRAP. But if you're going to tick one off, make sure you kill it later, because if it survives it will surely evolve into this wriggly ass-kicking snake called Gyarados, and it will kick your ass into the next century."_

"Do not diss my minions!" the Salesman shouted.

"Cheri, I like you, but this is still partially your fault. Make up for it by knocking them out."

"Dory, Peter, help her out! Peach, you can help if you want to."

With two red flashes of light and a shrill "CHUUUU!" Lightning's Pokemon appeared before the Magikarp, tensing in anticipation. Cheri, unwilling to put off departure, squealed and tightened her hold on Leaf's neck. Half snarling, half gasping for air, the girl managed to tear the caterpillar free, tossing her into the midst of the fish.

"Tackle them, minions!" the Salesman yelled. "Tackle, Tackle, Tackle 'til you just can't Tackle no more!"

"Poison Sting them, Cheri! If you get a chance, use String Shot to trip them up!"

"Give them your own Tackles, Peter! Start out with a Thunder Wave, Peach, and follow that up with a Thundershock! Dory, Growl at the closest ones before Scratching at them."

"Kuku ka chu!" Peach squealed excitedly. She generated a transparent golden wave of energy, which rippled from her small body and sliced through the first few Magikarp in front of her. The fish groaned as waves of crackling electricity surged through their rotund bodies, seizing up their muscles and inhibiting their movement.

"Hurr hurr hurr," they murmured stupidly, crashing into each other.

Cheri, flailing as she fell in an arc towards the mob of fish, ran a quick calculation in her head. The sooner she took out the Magikarp, the sooner they could all escape the inevitable wave of **Crushings**. Maximum effort would be in order, then. She made her plan of action effective, yet simple. They were bigger and faster than her, but she had the power of poison on her side, and only a fool would not use that to his advantage.

It was difficult to position her body while falling, but she managed to point her tail spike downward just as she landed on a Magikarp with maximum force. The spike punctured his thick, orange scales, and he gurgled in agony as it dug deep into his skin. Although it failed to pierce his thin, almost useless muscles, it nevertheless hurt him, and she could be content with that. Using the momentum of her fall, she swung the rest of her body around in a wide arc, embedding her head spike in another Magikarp. She let it sink as deep as it was able to before tugging her tail spike free of the first fish and slicing her body through the air again, stabbing yet another Magikarp.

"Hmm," Dory said thoughtfully, lazily hanging back and watching Cheri leap around violently. "Somersaulting in battle? That looks like good exercise!"

"Exercise is fo' losahs," Peter droned, simply sitting there. "Da real issue is dat chickie's brain. I dunno why she tinks she's some sorta ninja skank."

A Magikarp bounced up to them. "Hurr?"

""Hurr" mama loves ya too, big boy." Snickering, Peter knocked the fish on its side with a well-aimed sticky string from his red antenna, covering its lower fin in a sticky white mess.

Dory made a face. "No sexual jokes, bug."

"Da name's Peter, bunny! Get it right!" He rammed into the Magikarp over and over again, and it gasped every time the successive Tackles made contact. "Say it wif me! Pe–ter!"

"I'll keep that in mind, P-Durr."

The Magikarp's mouth continued to open and shut uselessly, even after it had fainted; its blank eyes simply glazed over a bit, and it stared, unseeing, into empty space.

"Wow." Peter shook himself; the use of several Tackles in a row was slightly disorienting. "Dat was fun. Ya gotta come beat da crap outta dem, toothy!" He rammed into a nearby Magikarp, surprising it so much it could only Splash around pathetically, doing nothing to defend itself.

Dory rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"C'mon!" The caterpillar spat a sticky white String Shot at her, covering her paws in the gummy substance. Before she could sneer in distaste, she was yanked into the battle, barreling through a few fish before colliding with Peter.

"You are _so_ immature," the Nidoran sniffed, before Growling melodiously at the closest three Magikarp. Their eyes fluttered, and they glubbed happily at the beautiful noise before her tiny claws raked through their tough skin.

Cheri eyed them curiously for a moment before returning her full attention to the task at hand. She had already hit most of the fish, and would run through diagnosis of the situation once she had completed phase one. _Stab_. Five to go. _Stab_. Four to go. _Stab_. Three…

Another stupid Magikarp jumped in her way, meeting in her in midair for a sudden Tackle. Surprised, she thought about dodging the move for a split-second before dismissing the idea; it was too late for that. Deciding to improvise, she spun her tail around, snaking it under its stomach to avoid the brunt of the blow. She lodged her tail spike in its tender gut and heard its resulting groan with some satisfaction. It rammed against her head just then, knocking all three of them – itself, its comrade, and the determined caterpillar – to the ground with a thud. Wincing, she squeezed her eyes shut against the resulting pain. There was something in it for her, though: the momentum of the fish's body had pushed her head spike even deeper the foe it was already lodged in. Its point, though deadly sharp, was tender enough to feel the wall of a vein burst upon contact, allowing the spike to pump vicious toxins into the victim's bloodstream. Smiling to herself at her success, she yanked her head away from the poisoned fish, swinging it into a new one.

Peach, eyes aglow in excitement, aimed several Thundershocks at the fish, bright flashes of electric energy crackling in the air for a moment before rushing into the foes with great efficiency. They thrashed around in pain, moaning a moment before fainting.

"Look, they're green!" she yelped, as Cheri landed next to her, panting.

The caterpillar surveyed the scene, and saw with approval that seven Magikarp were, indeed, looking very green around the gills. A bit of drool dripped from their mouths, which seemed to be sucking in more air than usual. "They should drop soon," she said, feeling a bit exhausted herself.

"You look really tired," Peach commented, looking slightly concerned.

Leaf quit biting her nails and spoke up. "Yeah, I think you should rest for a while, Cheri."

Cheri looked her trainer in the eye. "I never back down from a fight, human. I will battle until I fall. It is the Code of the Forest, and I will follow it for the sake of my daddy."

Her eyes shone with emotion, and Leaf could see the conflict within them, could feel the Weedle's longing to turn back and rescue her people. How much it must hurt her, then, to be torn from them and leave them to a fate best left unknown!

The moment was ruined as an excited Magikarp Tackled Cheri to the ground, wiggling excitedly. A few Poison Stings later, and he was no longer wiggling.

"You're doing great, guys!" Lightning yelled encouragingly, as Peach jumped back into the melee. "Dory, Growl at them to put a bunch of them off guard so Peter can tie them up with String Shot! When they've done that, Peach, Thundershock them into the dirt!"

The panting Magikarp, eyelids drooping, bounced less enthusiastically as another rhythmic snarl escaped Dory's throat. Peter, clearly in his element, break-danced around the group of tiring fish, spitting sticky strings at them as he did so. "Everahbodeh dance now!" he sang, as his victims were slowly mummified in goo.

"DODOGYUUUUUN!" Peach roared, aiming three jagged Thundershocks at the hapless fish. Screeching in agony as the electricity coursed from one to the next, carrying poisonously painful shocks between them, they shuddered wildly until, one by one, they fell to the ground, twitching and unconscious.

"Pity dis has ta end," Peter sighed, knocking out a Magikarp with some Tackling. The fainted fish bowled into two others, knocking the wind out of them just long enough to allow Dory to finish them off with her vicious Scratching.

Suddenly realizing that they were alone in a battlefield filled with their fainted brethren and a small group of bloodthirsty rodents and caterpillars, the remaining three Magikarp attempted to flee, bouncing anxiously towards the paling Salesman. A swift rope of string from Peter, however, snaked around their stomach fins and knocked them to the ground, where he easily dispatched them with a few Tackles, although he bruised his head on their hard scales.

"Damn sushi bastards hurtin' mah poor head like dat," Peter muttered, rubbing his head against the ground in pursuit of some pain relief. "I got da feelin' of a massive hangover comin' on … ooh—"

Suddenly he froze, twitching, half-standing. A faint glow appeared around his body, distorting the view of the sparse trees behind him. Eyes wide, a sudden scream of pain ripped through his small frame, as his antenna dribbled sickly greenish goo. The goo poured down his body, coating his lively verdant green with the paler hue.

"Peter!" Lightning yelled, rushing to his Pokemon's side. "Peter, what's going on? What's—"

"Do not touch him!" Cheri snapped suddenly, for Lightning was about to poke the writhing caterpillar.

"Lightning!" Leaf barreled into the boy, knocking him over just before his finger could enter the glow. They rolled a few feet, grass and moss snagging their hair, before coming to a stop a short distance away from the scene.

Lightning's eyes narrowed in shock. "What was that for?"

"Cheri just said not to touch him!"

"But he's my Pokemon! I can't let him die!"

Leaf got to her feet. "No," she murmured, staring at Peter as his shrieks became muffled in the goo. "Not dying…"

The goo began to solidify, muting Peter's writhing movements. It hardened at an alarmingly fast rate, its color darkening to a deep, dull green. Abruptly the caterpillar stopped screeching, and as he blinked rapidly, the humans were shocked to see the pupils of his eyes suddenly shrink to half their original size. His eyelids, coated in solid goo as they were, seemed to be too heavy to lift, as they were only half-open. He cast his passive, sleepy gaze at the open-mouthed spectators of the scene.

"Mmmph," he muttered.

"_Dun dun dunnnnnnn! Lookie at this ugly little bugger!"_

"Mmmmmph!" Peter rocked back and forth, indignant about his inability to do anything.

"_You say you want a revolutiooon, welllll, you know – insert guitar here – we all wanna change the world … c'mon, Naaaarrrrrrrgh, you know you wanna sing along! You tell me that it's evolutiooon, welllll, you know—"_

"Peter?" Wide-eyed, Lightning approached the strange, crescent-shaped new form of his Pokemon. The glow having vanished, he warily picked him up, the ridges along the tough shell making strange patterns on his skin. The shell was hard, yet strangely smooth, and it left a faint, powdery residue on the human's fingers.

"_Pffft, humans. It's sad how emotional they have to be about these things. Metapod, the Sausage Pokemon. Gender is Male, but you morons already knew that, so whatever. Height is … geez, this technical info thing is really boring me. I don't get why they had to send me _here_—"_

"Send you?" Leaf raised an eyebrow.

"…_Did I say 'send me'? Sorry, I meant 'programmed me'."_

"But you just—"

"_Metapod is a lame Pokemon with the IQ of a salami and they should be exterminated because they eat our trees even though trees suck, and also never tick off a Metapod because when they evolve into Butterfree their powders will put you on drugs and you will die from ODing, __thatisallgoodbye!"_

"Pokedex—!"

_Click_.

"Strange…" Leaf scrutinized the bright orange contraption, eyes narrowed.

The Salesman, shocked with his unforeseeable defeat, began to recall his many fainted Magikarp. "You meet a lot of strange folks in this job," he murmured to himself.

Lightning watched him for a moment, thinking. Then, after returning the tired Peter to his Poke Ball, he marched towards the Salesman, a determined glint in his eye. "Mr. Salesman—"

"I'm going, I'm going!" the Salesman cried, returning the Magikarp at a faster rate. "You won, you got your evolution thingy, let me leave before my dignity gets crushed even more!"

"It's a funny thing, reputation," Lightning commented, ignoring the frantic Salesman. "All it takes to break it is this little sentence: I absolutely _owned_ him with a Caterpie. And there's a good chance that I'll use that sentence to everybody I see."

"That's a bluff and you know it." The Salesman sneered, but turned pale all the same.

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. You'll know for sure when you run into a bunch of other salespeople and they start snickering at you." He stopped just a few feet away from the man, facing him with some uncharacteristic determination. "But perhaps I could be … persuaded … to let you off the hook."

The Salesman bit his lip. "So whaddya want?"

"Sell me a Magikarp for half price."

Relieved, the Salesman laughed as he recalled his last fainted Pokemon. "That's all? I can work with that. Gimme the cash first, and then I'll give you this lovely gem." He lifted the Poke Ball in his hand to eye level.

"I'd prefer one of the Magikarp that _didn't_ fight, if you don't mind."

The Salesman pulled a face. "Wha?"

"You heard me. I get a healthy fish, you get two hundred and fifty credits. Plus your reputation."

With a dramatic sigh, the Salesman replaced the Poke Ball in his overcoat. "Oh, all right. Here's one." He withdrew a red-and-white sphere, flourishing it in his hand as he waited for the money.

Lightning looked unimpressed. "That's the same one."

"It is not!"

"It is too."

"Damn you."

"Just work with me here."

"Fine!" the Salesman snapped, tossing a different Poke Ball to the ground between them. "Fine! Be a picky blond snob! Just give me your damn money and leave me alone!"

Rummaging in the pockets of his baggy shorts, Lightning soon produced two hundred-credit bills, plus a fifty. Offering them to the Salesman with one hand, he stooped to grab the Poke Ball with the other. Flustered, the Salesman snatched the money and stormed off without a backward glance.

Sticking the Pokedex back in her bag, Leaf gave the boy a look. "You actually _bought_ one?"

"Remember Kaleri's book? 'Gyarados is ugly, a brute, and Milotic's evil twin'. What if I could prove her wrong? Wouldn't a Gyarados have just as much opportunity to show its inner beauty?" Saying such, he released the Magikarp onto the ground, where she bounced up and down for a moment, staring at him.

"If you say so," Leaf said airily, unconvinced. "Just don't blame me when you figure out that all she can do is go 'hurr'."

To her utter shock, the Magikarp turned toward her, a look of utmost disapproval on her face. "Is that so? You do realize that, while I may _look_ like my ungifted siblings, they are not me? It appears, then, that I am somewhat better off with a trainer, albeit marginally."

Leaf stared. "A smart Magikarp? There's a new one on me."

"Really? She's smart? Cool! See, we're going to have an easy time with this, Maggie."

"'Maggie'? What sort of preposterous name is that?" the Magikarp sniffed.

Something struck Leaf in the back of her leg. Swiveling around in surprise, she visibly relaxed when she saw that it was only Cheri, bouncing around in impatience. "We defeated them, so let's go!"

Leaf rolled her eyes. "Fine. Lightning, Cheri says we need to move."

"Fast!" Cheri squealed worriedly, zipping up to Leaf's shoulder. "Fast, fast, fast!"

"'Fast' has twenty different synonyms, I'm sure you could have thought of at least _one_ of them just then," Maggie said sharply, looking disgusted.

Giving the new shapes of his Pokemon a final glance, Lightning returned his bunny and fish, and Peach leapt onto his shoulder, eager to continue their adventure. The entrance to Mount Moon loomed before them, dark and foreboding. Nervously, the humans approached the gloom, and left behind the world of light and heat as they entered the blackness within.

* * *

Phlash looked up at the midday sun, a strange, loopy grin twisting her face. "The egg is directly over the burger," she intoned happily.

Cobalt didn't answer. He was too busy readjusting his wig, knocked askew after the sudden earthquakes.

Bulbasaur, trotting behind as before, shot Phlash the universal "you must be retarded" look.

"Maybe we shouldn't have come this way," Gina said a bit nervously, as they arrived near the Pokemon Center.

"Why not?"

"You know those earthquakes are covering for Rocket dynamite, right?"

"Yeah." It wasn't exactly a secret, after all.

"Guess who's in charge them."

Amazingly, Cobalt paled. "You mean—"

"Exactly."

"Wait, wait, what's in charge again?" Phlash asked, bouncing in front of them.

Cobalt scowled darkly. "Severus."

"What? Oh!" Phlash suddenly beamed. "I know this song! Snape, Snape, Severus Snape, Snape, Snape, Severus—"

He grabbed her muzzle, cutting her off. "Don't sing that."

"Mmmmph?"

"He'll recognize that rhythm, even if he can't hear the words. And unless you want your head sliced off, it would be a _really_ good idea if you didn't sing that around him."

The Phrygoil wriggled out of his grasp, still grinning. "But he can't hear me now! Snape, Snape…"

Cobalt rolled his eyes. "He's not _that_ Severus. He's the big, tough, executive ox-face Severus."

Bulbasaur snickered, then suddenly gasped. "Cobalt…" she whimpered.

He rolled his eyes. "What."

"Behind you! There's a big, hairy, horny—"

"I knew it! I _knew_ you were going to make a sick joke like that!"

"What? Turn around, we're going to die!"

"Whatever," Cobalt growled, and swiveled around into the face of a very annoyed Tauros.

* * *

The left path rose sharply to the left, its ascending stony floor lost in the dark just a few paces ahead. The right path dipped shallowly, and a faint clanking sound echoed from further along its twisting, unseen corners. Curious, Leaf leaned toward the right, wondering in vain if the source of the noise would come barreling around the corner; but Cheri, her body wrapped securely around Leaf's neck, jerked herself toward the left, forcing Leaf to take an involuntary step forward.

"This way," Cheri whispered. "Someone evil lurks on the right. We'd best not encounter him."

A tad disappointed, Leaf nevertheless turned to the indicated path, Lightning following in mild puzzlement. The steep, uneven slope was immediately apparent, and Leaf wondered where exactly this unused path led.

"The abandoned Moon Shop must be ahead!" Peach squealed, as if reading her thoughts. "I heard one time there was a monster who came scared everyone away."

"There are no monsters but the Lord of Evil and his delusional followers," Cheri replied, still glancing around nervously.

"Maybe you should explain this 'Lord of Evil' thing," Leaf said reasonably, tripping over a stone but regaining her balance just in time. "And why you're freaking out about crushing."

"It's **Crushing**!" Cheri snapped fearfully. "Not crushing, **Crushing**! There's a world of difference!"

"I still don't get it."

Cheri was silent. The only sounds in the unlit, pitch-black corridor were the rustling of the trainers' clothes as they walked carefully on. The mysterious clanking had been left behind.

They walked a long while, their pace slow and steady. The heat that swirled in the sun's light could not reach the interior of the sturdy mountain, and Leaf clamped her teeth together to stop them from chattering. The stale air carried a faint scent of some unknown mineral, reminding Leaf of Roark. She half-closed her eyes and smiled, fondly remembering his sparkling eyes, the motion of his pale fingers running through his hair—

"My people have a long history with fighting evil," Cheri said abruptly, jerking her from her reverie. "Since the dawn of time we have defended our Forest alongside the Children of the Moon."

A moment of silence.

"The who?" Leaf asked finally.

"Ooooh, I love them!" Lightning squealed suddenly, banging his head up and down as if he were at a rock concert.

Peach rolled her eyes. "Darling, just when are you getting your distemper shot?"

"No, Lightning, I was talking to Cheri. She's telling us about some crushing thing."

"**Crushing**!" Cheri corrected, half hissing.

Lightning stopped banging his head. "Oh, right. I keep forgetting about your 'I hear Pokemon' thing. Which is funny, because I shouldn't be forgetting something as cool as that, and I'm not really sure what that means, since if my memory's that bad—"

"Hush!" Leaf interrupted, for Cheri was speaking again.

"There has never been a time when pain and suffering has not existed. The Forest is old and powerful, and yet the mere movement of an army crossing through will destroy it. That is why we fought together, Children of Sun and Moon fighting and dining as brothers. We were not always enemies."

Leaf put on her "I'm trying to think and it hurts" face.

"I think I get it," Peach said slowly. "You mean that your people and the Butterfree used to be friends, right?"

Leaf scowled at being beaten to the answer.

"Yes," Cheri said sadly. "Cooperating in battle, we could push back any destructive foe, no matter how great. The subtle art of their powders, the force behind our spears … there were times in the past, too, when the Lord of Evil would rise, gathering his minions with him. But often it was us that blocked his way, us who bought the time the hero needed to strike him down … nothing could tear our races apart. At least, not then."

Another moment of silence.

"What happened?" Peach asked in a hushed voice.

"An internal matter, a simple and trivial one which should not have torn us apart," Cheri replied sadly. "It occurred a few hundred years ago, after the Lord of Evil's last rising. It had been a particularly vicious and difficult war, and hundreds of thousands lay dead around the Indigo Plateau, their lives the steep cost for our victory. There was much rejoice over his defeat, and we celebrated for weeks in our Forest … eventually, my people realized that we could not merely let our spears grow blunt while potential enemies might still bide their time. We returned to our extensive training, sparring to get ourselves back to warrior standard. We encouraged the Children of the Moon to return to business as well..."

Peach leaned forward, eyes bugging in fascination.

"…But they had learned in that time that their nature is not warlike, that it is not their natural instinct to make the first move in combat. No longer would they fight with us, but instead lived like kings to hide behind our warriors. They laughed behind our backs at our persistence to live the way we should, calling us fools for our efforts. We ignored their jeers as best we could, but our pride could not be denied, and soon we turned on them as well, calling them cowards. The next thing we knew, armies were forming on both sides, to soothe our wounded egos. No doubt war would have broken out, too, if not for a hasty agreement made between ambassadors from our different races. It was decided that, if we could not cooperate, we would live separately in the forest, living out our different ways of life."

Another blank space of quiet stretched across the gloomy path. The sound of pebbles clattering as the humans walked carefully along echoed against the jagged stone walls.

Eventually Peach spoke up. "So now you sun-bug things are living the old ways while the other guys are just partying it up?"

"They were until I ruined it all," Cheri said dejectedly. "With the Butterfree holding my people as hostages, they have supreme power over the Forest. And the humans who walk through it, well … my people often swarmed at passing trainers, playing out their battle plans. We never harmed them, although humans, being delusional, would afterwards howl to their friends about us for days on end. The Children of the Moon, however, have no such mercy towards outsiders. They abduct humans for their twisted "party games", first using their powders to subdue them before messing with their minds…"

Leaf frowned. "How can they make that into a _party_ game?"

She felt a violent shuddering vibrate through Cheri's small body, almost like a neck massage. "They bring the victim to some secluded spot, where many Butterfree then gather. They then compete to see who can … wh-who can … put the victim through enough mental torture to push him into insanity. They fire Confusions directly into the eyes, which can p-possibly destroy certain areas of the brain … they use their Gusts and Psybeams to c-create horrible illusions … the more vicious ones Captivate the victim, seducing him to their carnal impulses, and sometime d-during _the act_—"

Leaf thought of Roark again and blushed hotly.

"—Sometime during it, the illusion will change, and the victim will see himself lying d-down with a vile monster—"

The blush crept down to her neck and up to the roots of her hair.

"—And, in his horror and revulsion, he will attempt to t-tear himself free, but c-cannot—"

Something in her stomach twisted in a strange, fluttery motion. Peach glanced down at Lightning and grinned dreamily.

"—And instead it will p-push itself further upon him—"

Peach's grin broadened.

"—And then, the tingling it brings—"

"OKAY!" Leaf roared, and the other three jumped at the sudden noise. "SOMEHOW I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH DETAILS!"

Peach, recovering quickly from the shock, roared with laughter.

Lightning had unintentionally bashed his head against the ceiling, and he grunted in pain. "Geez, Leaf, what was that about?"

"You don't want to know."

He rubbed his head. "Maybe I do—?"

"Trust me, you don't."

"But I—"

"IT WAS AWKWARD!"

"Keep moving!" Cheri hissed, as if this were ten minutes ago all over again. Shrugging, the humans resumed their walking, Lightning still holding a hand to his throbbing head.

The path was evening out now, and a faint, eerie blue light cast a sort of aura further down the lonely corridor. Leaf, still fuming in mortification, vaguely assumed they were nearing the Moon Shop. Mostly to distract herself from embarrassing thoughts about Roark, she said, "So you used to be friends, but now they have freakish parties. What does that have to do with this Lord of Evil business?"

Cheri shivered. "It may be that whether or not the Children of the Moon realize it, the empty shells their victims produce have been useful to help the Lord of Evil produce practice targets for **Crushing**."

"Mmm, right. Except that what you just said made no sense at all."

The caterpillar tensed in helpless frustration. "_What_ doesn't make sense?"

"It's been at least half an hour since I asked what crushing — **Crushing**, then, sorry — since I asked what it is, and you still haven't told me!"

"You're better off not knowing."

"Try me."

Taking a deep breath, Cheri lowered her eyes. "Our legends claim that the Lord of Evil gains his power by stealing it from others in the vilest way possible: by using his dark influence on people to make them kill others in awful, painful ways. He then intercepts the dead ones' souls before they can reach Giratina's realm, and locks them away within himself to slowly squeeze their life force into his own storage of energy. They do not fade or die, but remain there in unspeakable pain for millennia. When defeated, he can only sap minimal energy from every captive soul; but as his power grows, so does the amount of power he can obtain."

Leaf had a sudden vivid mental image of a shadowy figure squeezing screaming lemons.

"RRRRRHHHHHAAAAAAHHHH!"

They froze in their tracks. Whatever had just roared couldn't be too happy.

Lightning bit his lip. "Maybe we should've gone the other way…?"

Peach nipped his ear affectionately. "Aw, don't be a sissy!"

"It can hardly have anything to do with the Lord of Evil," Cheri said reasonably, looking deeply unimpressed. "Therefore, we have nothing to fear."

They were nearing the source of the pale light, which seemed to open up into some kind of cavern. The distinct sound of scuffling and growling could be heard, punctuated by an angry shout.

"Someone's fighting it?" Lightning asked unnecessarily.

Leaf's mouth set into a grim line. "If it's who I think it is, that monster won't stand a chance."

Then, in a sudden influx of light, the room opened up before them …

* * *

The Tauros, like most brutes, had a demonic tint to his beady eyes. He had a broad, muscular body, supported on four spindly legs and sprouting three lashing, tufted tails. A brown ruff of coarse fur wrapped around his neck and trailed down his chest, most likely the result of too much testosterone. The silver studs lined his forehead, and a pair of silver horns, as sharp as any knife, pointed ominously toward the Rocket members.

Sweat beaded Cobalt's brow. "Don't," he murmured to his companions, "make. [I]Any[/I]. Sudden. Moves."

Naturally Phlash grinned and immediately shot forward, coming to a halt directly in front of Tauros before pointing at him with a paw and laughing. "Ha ha ha!" she yelled. "Walking burger! Ha ha ha—"

Snorting in rage, the Tauros sliced his head downward towards her body, clearly intending to gore her. But she was too fast for him; his horns stabbed at thin air, and as he looked around in confusion, she appeared directly behind him, grabbing his tails in her mouth before pulling them _hard_. He leapt several feet into the air, squealing, before making a crash landing on his back. Attempting to roll back onto his hooves, and failing miserably, he whined in frustration as his legs thrashed uselessly above him.

Cobalt blinked in surprise before speaking. "Maybe you really _are_ worthy."

Phlash spat out a hairball and grinned. "I know! Also, did you know there's a dead body right behind him? I wanna drink its blood, I need my sugar. Sugar sugar SUUUUUUUGAAAAAR!"

Saying such, she leapt into the bushes directly behind the Tauros. A second later, she pulled out a limp body, which was still leaking blood from numerous gashes. His shirt and pants were ripped almost to shreds. From the Poke Balls on his belt, it was plain to see he had been a Pokemon trainer. Looking as though Christmas had come early, Phlash closed her eyes, opened her mouth wide, and thrust her head into the corpse's body, sucking out the stagnant blood.

Bulbasaur moaned. "That Tauros must've killed him! We're all going to die!"

Cobalt, circumnavigating the flailing beast, made his way to the body. Kneeling over it, he frowned thoughtfully before pulling a battered Pokedex from its clutched fingers; they were still warm, indicating that its death had been very recent, possibly just minutes ago. Checking the trainer's details just long enough to make sure he had been nobody important, he then dove into the trainer's records, scrolling through the list of captured Pokemon. His eyes narrowed as they took in the trainer's active team.

He turned back to the body then — ignoring Phlash's moans of sanguine delight — and unclasped the four Poke Balls from its belt, tossing them to the ground. Three bright red beams of light burst out before condensing into Pokemon: a vile-smelling ball of floating, purple gas; a gray-and-purple pig with black pearls lined along its head; and a small, rotund bird with wide red eyes and ridiculously protuberant eyebrows. Casting astonished glances from their dead trainer to the furious Tauros, they immediately scattered in different directions, the Hoothoot flapping off vigorously while the Grumpig scampered into the coarse bushes by the path with the stupid-looking Koffing in tow.

The fourth Poke Ball was empty. He picked it up warily before turning back to Gina, who still stood frozen in place, wide-eyed.

"Do you realize what this means?" he asked her quietly.

She shook her head.

Setting his mouth in a grim line, he tossed the Poke Ball up in the air before catching it again, noticing how the Tauros's eyes narrowed in hatred as they followed its progress through the air. His fingers tightened around the Ball almost protectively, and when he spoke, the true tension in the voice was perfectly clear.

"That Tauros killed his own trainer."

* * *

The Forever Young Casino sprawled for miles in the strange side dimension. Whether the Casino was the dimension itself, or was merely a fraction of it, was anyone's guess; no one had ever found a way to reach the hypothetical outdoors. Indeed, no one ever bothered to. If anyone came, it was for the Casino. "Open 24 Hours a Day", read the sign over the area where most incoming visitors materialized – but in a windowless building such as the Casino, who could tell when was day and when was night, or if either existed at all?

Spirits leaned over roulettes and slot machines, watching the spinning wheels with eager anticipation. In the Casino, no difference was made between spirits and physical bodies, making the normally transparent and air-filled spirits a sturdy solid, one of the main reasons for coming. It was not merely the souls of ordinary, dead Pokemon who visited: the legendaries, most of whom had a rather bad habit of sleeping for millennia, often sent their own spirits out to the Casino for something to do. Meditating Pokemon often stumbled here on accident, and would suddenly toss religious reasons for meditation out the window. Gambling, after all, was _fun_.

Humans were not wanted, dead or alive.

Many different sections branched out from the Casino: a massive mall which could give even the ditziest shopper a heart attack; an arcade room filled with thousands upon thousands of riveting, action-packed games; an amusement park and enormous pool, complete with several never-ending water slides; a hundred movie theaters, capable of playing any film that ever existed; basketball, hockey, volleyball and tennis courts; baseball, soccer, and football fields, all opening up to an artificial night sky; numerous stadiums, where those anxious to battle could fight to their heart's content; an enormous spa with incredible humidity and a few part-time dead massage therapists; a room filled with checkerboards and soft sofas, where those who had died at a grand age could get away from "those whippersnappers"; a virtual reality room where one could have a lifelike, guaranteed risk-free experience; a seemingly small mountain whose top could never be reached no matter how high one climbed; and a long series of actual, dangerous, monster-filled dungeons far below the basements, for those who were seeking a _real_ adventure. But entering each location required a ridiculously high amount of Casino Coins. That was where the Casino itself came in: an acceptable sum of twenty Coins was given to every newcomer, allowing them a chance to gamble to achieve their wildest desires. Those who ended up in debt were not allowed to leave until they had paid up, but with all the action occurring, nothing could compel the dead to leave until the Death Overseers ordered them to.

But legendaries were not as easily impressed. The only thing that could make even them excited was the huge playing board in the exact center of the Casino itself, reflecting its status as the greatest game of all time. The game that could bend the laws of time and space, and simply toss all rational explanation out the hypothetical window. The game that could make Darkrai sit down and cry like a little girl. The game with such ancient power that the awestruck dead only referred to it as _The Game_.

The Casino's owners had kindly dubbed it as "Retarded Mortals".

Those who visited the Casino could be as strange and unusual as anything in their dreams, so when two cloaked figures suddenly appeared in the entrance area, nobody even glanced up from their activities.

"This is a stupid idea," snarled the shorter one, the small muscles on her four furry legs tensed as if torn between fight and flight. She had a roughly canine appearance, her white and green fur contrasting against each other nicely.

"This was _Mom's_ idea," the taller, bipedal one replied calmly. A tiny moneybag winked into existence right in front of her beaked face, the coins within clinking loudly. Not even flinching, she snatched it out of the air with a clawed, feathery hand.

The smaller one snapped at another appearing moneybag. "Alright, then it was Mom's stupid idea. And this cloak is the most retarded thing you've ever thought of, Fystor. No, I don't want those! Go away."

The moneybag tinkled almost reproachfully before vanishing.

Fystor, the tall Pokemon – although only tall in comparison, for any adult human easily towered over her – sighed in a resigned manner, looking about the vast dimensions of the Casino, its dim lighting punctured by the brightly lit Game in the center of the room. "'Mom' and 'stupid' don't belong in the same sentence."

The shorter one snorted. "The irony."

"We _will_ learn something." She paused for a moment in her scan, and her bright silver eyes narrowed as she watched a whooping Trapinch spirit.

"And you're sure about that?"

"Absolutely. _He_ probably already knows you're here."

The quadruped blanched. "Aw no, not _him_."

"Why don't you like him? You two make a cute couple."

"Why _should_ I like him? He's immature!"

"Is not! He's very sophisticated!"

She sniffed. "_I_ sacrificed myself to keep the entire fricking mortal world and everyone in it from going to complete hell. All _he_ bothers to do is run this retarded Casino with his sister and snicker at everyone who's _oh_ so excited about hollering whenever the same retarded little picture appears on all three wheels. Sophisticated my ass."

Fystor scowled. The expression twisted her beak into a peculiar shape.

"Maybe you should compare _your_ accomplishments to his. Oh wait, you don't have any! _Fail_!"

"I keep these bloody Twins from getting bored!" Fystor snapped, stalking towards the bar counter.

Her sister snickered, trotting close behind. "This was exactly the same as it was when you were first assigned to them, am I right?"

"Hardly. We didn't exactly have movies thousands of years ago."

"Pfft. Renovations in technology? Who cares? All it boils down to is that Mom had no idea what retarded purpose you could _possibly_ serve, and now you're useless. USELESS! HA HA HA—"

_WHAM!_ went the feathery fist as it smashed into the furry head.

A smirk appeared on the short Pokemon's muzzle. "Type disadvantage."

Fystor swore loudly.

* * *

Bulbasaur stared at the Tauros incredulously. That son-of-a-Bibarel killed his trainer? Preposterous. True, there were times when she really wanted to kill Cobalt, but she wouldn't actually _kill_ him. It was a pretty straightforward thing, really. This guy, though … he must be crazy.

"Ick!" the Tauros fumed.

Cobalt frowned. "Ick?"

"Ick!"

"Ick?'

Phlash raised her head in curiosity, fangs still dripping blood. "Ick?"

"Ick ick ick!"

"Ick ick ick?"

"Ick?" Gina repeated, thinking.

"Ick!"

"Ick?"

"Cobalt, just give up on your "ick" orgy already!" Bulbasaur rolled her eyes as she spoke.

"Yeah, but he's probably saying 'ick' for a reason. Gina, would you check…?"

But Gina was ahead of him; she was already kneeling at the Tauros's side, careful to avoid his thrashing, horned head. Whispering softly in an attempt to calm him, she patted his nose until he was no longer flailing about, but simply breathing heavily. Then, quick as lightning, she grabbed his lower jaw, yanked it downward, thrust her free hand into his mouth, groped around inside it, and soon pulled out something that was small and bright neon pink, dripping with the bull's saliva.

Surprisingly, he did not resume his furious flailing, but instead spat viciously into the grass nearby.

"A Pokeblock," Gina explained, noticing Bulbasaur's baffled expression. "He hates the taste."

"Bad ick!" Tauros spat. "Bad! Ick ick ick!"

"Then why were you eating it?" Cobalt asked, slightly exasperated.

"Tauros not want eat it! It ick. Trainer say, eat and you be cute. Tauros not want be cute! Tauros want be strong! But trainer say, eat. Ick get stuck to top of mouth. Ick ick ick! Tauros get angry! Tauros hurt trainer! Bad trainer!"

"Ah."

"Hold on!" Gina said, and from seemingly out of nowhere pulled a bright orange Hello Kitty bag.

"Aw no, aw _no_, it's the bag."

Gina rolled her eyes while she fished around in the bag, before retrieving a small cube quite similar to the one she had just extracted from the Tauros's mouth, albeit a dull yellow. Holding it carefully between her fingers, she pulled his lips apart and forced the candy through his clenched teeth.

There was a moment of anticipatory silence. Tauros chewed it thoughtfully, but it sending him into a rage was still a possibility. Cobalt bit his lip as Gina watched the bull's jaw move.

Then Tauros puckered up, squealing in delight. "It umm! Good umm!"

Cobalt sighed, visibly relaxing.

"Breeders know what makes Pokemon happy," Gina explained, standing up and slinging her bag over her shoulder. "I guessed from the way he was acting that he might like sour candy instead of sweet."

Abruptly Tauros managed to swing his bulky self onto his hooves, stumbling slightly to regain his balance. He looked Gina in the eye, but instead of goring her to death, he said, still sucking happily on his Pokeblock, "Girl good. Girl give Tauros umm. Tauros like girl. Tauros like umm. Tauros go with girl."

Gina watched him warily. "Cobalt, what's he doing? He's looking at me funny."

"He wants to come with you for some reason. Obviously he's never watched you in action." He snickered.

She gave him a look. "Not funny." Turning back to Tauros, she pulled a strangely-colored Poke Ball – green rather than red, and flecked with red teardrops – and met his gaze again. "Tauros, if you want to be my Pokemon, you'll get to eat as many yellow Poffins as you want, as long as you don't kill anybody. Pokeblocks are nice every now and then, but they're not as good for you as Poffins. Okay?"

Tauros nodded excitedly, horns bouncing dangerously fast. "Tauros agree! Tauros like umm!"

"Excellent." Gently she tossed the Friend Ball at him, which opened wide as it neared him. Tauros converted into a bright red beam without a fight, and disappeared into the ball, which shut with a sharp click. It didn't even wobble before the cheerful _ping_ signaled his successful capture.

Cobalt looked somewhat unimpressed at this anticlimactic ending. "Wow. You caught a dunce."

The girl stooped to pick up the now occupied Friend Ball. "Oh, Tartar's not a dunce! He'll be great on my mammalian crossbreeding project—"

"Maybe he's not a dunce, but you're definitely one if you're calling him 'Tartar'."

"Yeah, well, since Daddy ordered you, an admin, to do grunt work, I wouldn't—"

"Wait."

Gina turned to him, exasperated, only to draw back a little at the sight of his chalk-white face. "What—"

"If the girl with the Lapras went into Mount Moon …" he began slowly, with the uncertain air of someone putting two and two together, "… and Severus is in Mount Moon …"

Suddenly looking extremely alarmed, he abruptly bolted off toward the dark entrance to the mountain, leaving the females looking rather baffled behind him.

Bulbasaur watched his shrinking figure with a mixture of disbelief and surprise. "Dunno if we should follow him—"

Phlash tore her bloody fangs from the corpse, which was now exceptionally pale and rather shriveled-looking. "We should, freckle-face! When Weird Hair Guy looks like that, he needs us to help him eat babies!"

"No, he does n—"

Without warning Phlash leapt up from the grisly body, latched her teeth onto Bulbasaur's bulb, and tore off after Cobalt excitedly. The dinosaur swore loudly as the weasel dragged her along the hard, grassy earth.

"We gottsa folla him!" Phlash managed to shout through her mouthful of Bulbasaur.

Gina, watching the strange scene, took a hesitant step forward. "I must have missed something," she sighed, and warily began to jog after them.

* * *

As they reached the bar counter, the bartender Hitmontop leapt onto it and spun into the air, rotating fast enough to generate a gentle wind. He nodded politely to Fystor: her arrival, even in a ridiculous-looking cloak, always demanded respect. "The usual, miss?"

"Of course."

One of his long, bendy legs snatched a glass from a shelf behind him. "And what for the kiddo?"

The furry Pokemon gnashed her teeth in rage. "Kiddo?"

"Just a water for her. You know how kids are."

The bartender nodded and dived behind the counter again.

Fystor smirked as she looked at her fuming sister. "To use your ridiculous vocabulary, you've just been _owned_."

She did not reply immediately, but turned her glare to the bartender as he reappeared a second later, setting two glasses full of liquid onto the counter. "Maybe I'm younger than you, but remember that the middle kid never amounts to anything," she snapped back, fluttering up to the counter with small, pink, petal-like wings and taking a sip of the cold, clear water.

Fystor's eyes narrowed as she carefully lowered her beak into her own glass, which was full of a green, bubbly drink. She was thinking of something witty to shoot back, when she sensed a sudden change in the aura around her and realized that someone was now standing behind them.

"Hey, Shay-Shay!"

The furry Pokemon yelped in shock, snorting water up her nose and accidentally knocking over her glass. Sneezing, she watched in dismay as the water cascaded gracefully over the counter's edge, ready to soak the short, hard carpet…

But a weak wave of psychic energy rippled over them, and a millisecond later the glass had leapt up after the water, somersaulting in midair as it fell before rushing upward to catch every droplet easily. It then hovered in the air in front of the green, red-faced Pokemon, who was glaring at the newcomer while water continued to drip from her nose.

He was a graceful, blood-red Pokemon with the shape and sleek dignity of a stag or unicorn. Around the base of his long neck were four shining silver steel petals, which had an uncanny resemblance to a four-leafed clover. Similarly colored claws protruded from his paws, elbows, and knees, looking dangerously sharp. Seven long, rectangular plates sprouted along the top of his body from the tip of his nose to the end of his thick, pointed tail. His shiny, lethal appearance, however, was softened by a pair of delicate ears shaped vaguely like the number seven, and a pair of eyes as clear and blue as ice, though they shone with surprising warmth.

"Where've you been lately?" he asked, craning his head towards her slightly. "I haven't seen you in—"

"Can it, Secloven," she snarled.

"Aw, don't be cruel, Shay-Shay! You gotta know I've missed you, girl!"

"Don't call me Shay-Shay, that's almost worse than Minnie! Now shut up and go away."

"Give him a break, Shaymin," Fystor cut in smoothly, swirling her drink around idly and watching the bubbles float up to the surface and burst in tiny sprays of emerald mist. Her voice was calm and chastising, yet she kept careful track of his aura.

"It's cool, Feisty. Don't you guys want to try your luck at Retarded Mortals? We've got a huge event on us lately, what with the Appster possessing the Missing One and all—"

"We've heard about it, we're not stupid," Shaymin growled, although her lips were pressed together to keep herself from chuckling at "Feisty".

Refraining from commenting, Fystor turned her gaze to The Game, where numerous Pokemon crowded around.

"We've got our 'chosen girl' in a relatively safe position, I guess," Secloven continued airily. "If you hurry, you might get there early enough to back her in this round—"

Fystor stood up straighter. "No one's backed her yet? Well, in that case I'll—"

A soft, smooth voice behind her cut her off. "So sorry, Fystor. Jirachi's just decided to back her, and you know how she likes to get her way."

Fystor groaned without turning around. "Oh, no, not you!"

"A somewhat unsatisfactory greeting, but I'll accept it anyway," the new Pokemon replied, half smiling. When the eagle-like Pokemon did not reply, the newcomer prowled around into her line of vision. The whiskered head appeared first, boasting a pair of pointed, tufted ears and two glowing golden eyes. It was followed by a long, many-legged body, and six large pieces of broken glass protruded from her back, reflecting numerous shades of scarlet, gold, and sapphire. The long, jagged tail came last, twisting gently in the air. Covered in black fur from nose to tail, the Pokemon looked sly, yet her friendliness contradicted this, catching others off guard.

Looking unhappy, Fystor nodded curtly. "Sentarpen."

The black cat Pokemon grinned more widely, revealing large fangs coated in a pale purple poison. "Fystor."

"I know what my name is, thanks," Fystor snapped.

"There's no need for animosity," Sentarpen said, looking somewhat hurt.

"I'll be as animous as I like—"

"Calm down, Feisty," Secloven cut in, sticking his head between them hastily. "I'm pretty sure "animous" isn't a word, anyway. Why not just join in the game and have fun?"

Fystor scowled. "Animous _is_ a word, it means "not unanimous"."

"I sort of doubt that—"

"I'll back somebody," she interrupted him briskly, "but I really wouldn't know who. If you'll excuse me…"

She slammed the glass on the counter, drawing a shocked look from the bartender, and set off towards The Game, not once looking back.

"Fystor!" Sentarpen quickly padded after her, attempting to catch up.

"Why are you following me?" the eagle snapped back, not looking around.

"Fystor, you need to listen to me, something dreadful is going to happen to somebody down there and we need to stop it—"

"Yeah? The Missing One's in the Lord of Evil's control. Somehow I don't think things can get worse than that."

Sentarpen's sorrowful eyes glinted in the bright light of The Game as she shook her head. "Things can always get worse."

Fystor snorted. "I don't believe that."

"Really? His dark influence just made a Tauros brutally kill his trainer. That's another **Crushing**, Fystor. Another boost to his power. And there will be another one if you refuse to help!"

Abruptly Fystor halted, still a good distance from The Game. Sentarpen collided with her and spat out several feathers.

"Just tell me what's going to happen, and I might listen to you," Fystor said coldly.

Sentarpen told her.

"Oh, CRAP!"

"Fystor, you'll need the dice!" Sentarpen cried, for the eagle had just broken into a flat run toward The Game. Flustered slightly, the cat squeezed her eyes shut in concentration, and a second later three dice materialized in one of Fystor's clenched fist. Not pausing to examine them, she continued to run…

* * *

"They'll have gone this way," Cobalt muttered to himself, climbing down into the dark passageway on the right. Immediately the clanking noise grew louder, and he grimaced at the discordant sound. Teeth clenched, he darted nimbly along in the darkness, and soon a faint gray light appeared up ahead, throwing shadows against the nooks and crannies in the rock walls on either side of him. Then he was through, and he blinked in the sudden burst of light.

Before him stood an enormous cavern, so tall that its upper regions remained obscured in shadow. The room had a roughly conical shape, and its opposite end sat far, far in the distance. Dusty tan-colored rocks sat scattered about the cavern, some hardly reaching his ankles while others towered a hundred feet above him. A strange shape jutted from the far end cave, its shining silver color magnified by the waves of silver light exuding from it. The clanking was magnified a hundredfold in the vast acoustics of the cavern.

"Cobalt!"

"Gah!" He swiveled around, then sighed in relief. It was only Phlash and Bulbasaur, the former looking hyper and energetic as she let go of the latter, who looked less than pleased. "Oh, it's only you. Now listen to me—"

"Cobalt, what are you thinking?" Gina asked irritably, approaching from the depths of the passageway they had just left. "Running off like that without telling me why? Shame on you."

He glared at her. "You know Severus, he's the kind that acts first and asks questions later. If that girl ran into him, we can expect nothing to remain of her and her Pokemon but a bloody mess."

"But—"

Cobalt was not listening: he had broken into a run towards the object in the excavation site, praying that his mission would not be aborted in such a grisly manner. Pebbles crunched under his shoes as he sprinted, and the cool, stale air whipped about his face. If he was already too late—

"Stop, intruder!"

Skidding to a halt, Cobalt swiftly turned to the right to see several worried-looking teenagers approaching, wielding heavy-looking shovels. He had a shrewd idea that these were Rocket grunts; perhaps it was the black shirts emblazoned with bright red R's that tipped him off.

"You're trespassing near a Rocket excavation site!" shouted the lead grunt, looking rather nervous. "Leave now or we'll be forced to—"

"Chill," Cobalt snapped, whipping out the badge that identified him as a Rocket admin. "Anything big happened down here?"

The grunts visibly relaxed, letting the points of their shovels hit the ground.

"No, Cobalt, sir," reported the lead grunt, running his fingers through his hair. "We've just been trying to dig out the Massive Moon Stone. Yeah, it turns out it's real," he said, catching the incredulous look on Cobalt's face. "The Clefairy are going nuts about it, though, they keep chanting and waving their fingers like evil little cult fairies…"

"I bet they are. Has any civilian stumbled down here?"

"No, although I wish someone would. Executive Severus is in a bad mood today, he threatened to gut me when I wouldn't cook his lunch for him."

"Oh." Cobalt sighed in relief. The mission was still on after all. "Well, I may just move on, then—"

A cold, hard voice interrupted him. "Cobalt … what the hell are you doing here."

Cobalt groaned inwardly as a tall, long-haired man strode angrily toward him, pushing grunts out of his way as he did so. Black, greasy hair dripped to his shoulders, framing his prematurely lined face. He looked vaguely like a football player gone to seed: there were traces of burly muscles lining his arms, but as the arms were quite skinny, they looked rather out of place. His bold red shirt boasted a silhouette of a Honchkrow perching on a black letter R: the mark of the Rocket executive. He bore a mark of handsomeness, to be sure, but only the boldest or most desperate of females would show remote interest in him, due to his harsh nature and appearance. Of course, the fact that several long, bone-white claws protruded sharply from his tough-skinned knuckles may have had something to do with that as well. No one could be sure when he had obtained the strange claws, or how he had gotten them; but they could be sure that any references to Wolverine in his presence would definitely result in a violent and painful end.

Naturally people tended to be wary around him, which was why, when Cobalt snapped, "I'm wondering how you don't shish kebab your brain whenever you pick your nose, that's what I'm doing," the grunts cautiously peered at Severus, half hoping that he might be put in his place. It was no secret that the two hated each other, after all.

"And _I've_ often wondered how an idiot such as yourself managed to weasel your way into becoming an admin," Severus sneered, coming to a halt in front of him. "Of course, the Boss always was a bit senile…"

"Is not!" Gina cried indignantly, having nearly caught up to Cobalt.

Severus shook his head, sending his hair whipping about his face. "I'm not impressed with you either, Gina, but you're almost ordinary compared to this bastard."

Cobalt glared darkly.

"And look, a pair of runts!" Severus said without enthusiasm, noticing Bulbasaur and Phlash trotting towards them. "Are they yours, Cobalt? I must say, you've really lowered your standards … although, considering this is you we're talking about …"

A scowl threw Cobalt's face into shadow. "You know nothing."

"You'd be surprised. My IQ is probably triple yours …"

Cobalt clenched his teeth.

"There's something I've wanted to tell you for a very long time," Severus continued, striking his claws together to create an ominous clicking sound.

_Inaudible, the celestial dice flew forward from the feathered hand—_

"You see, the Boss may be fooled by your stupidity, but I'm not. And you've been annoying me for a very long time…"

—_breathless were the spirits of the dead, watching them roll—_

"But the thing is, Cobalt, that you are the weakest link…"

With alarming speed, his hand whipped around, claws flashing in the cold light. Before anyone could react, he stabbed viciously into Cobalt's chest, smiling evilly at the surprise and horror spreading across the admin's face, as well as the blood spreading across his pale blue T-shirt.

"…Goodbye."

Gaping in shock, Cobalt gasped for air, clutching futilely at his chest. Grin widening, Severus swiftly pulled his claws out again. Blood gushed from Cobalt's torso, cascading down his front and staining his shirt. It splashed around his feet and onto the feet of others, who were too horrified to squeal and jump back. His eyes going wide and blank, Cobalt collapsed to his knees in a puddle of blood, deaf to Gina's screams …

* * *

Alas, poor Cobalt. I knew him well ...

A/N: +3 legendaries. Ya rly. Now you know the identity of the Twins of Fate! :o

Secloven  
Type: Psychic/Steel  
Classification: Fortune Pokemon  
Height: 5'03"  
Weight: 100.8 lbs.  
Ability: Super Luck  
Egg Group: No Eggs  
Gender: None (games only)  
Color: Red  
Catch Rate: 3  
Evolution: None  
As the mascot of Pokemon Jasper, the first of two paired versions, Secloven's as full of good luck as ... well ... anything. You know how kids sometimes see legendaries at the start of their journeys? Well, Secloven is _the_ Pokemon to see. It also should be noted that while other regions have had millions of psychics in the legendary rosters, Secloven is the ONLY Psychic-type Kerothyun legendary.

Sentarpen  
Type: Dark/Poison  
Classification: Fate Pokemon  
Height: 4'05"  
Weight: 128.5 lbs.  
Ability: Super Luck  
Egg Group: No Eggs  
Gender: None (games only)  
Color: Black  
Catch Rate: 3  
Evolution: None  
Sentarpen is the version mascot of Pokemon Opal, the second of Kerothyu's paired versions. Sentarpen is the very essence of bad luck, and is said that those who she appears to will die soon. She also tends to be more subtle than her twin. Uniquely, she is the only Poison-type uber.

Fystor  
Type: Fighting/Flying  
Classification: Valiant Pokemon  
Height: 3'08"  
Weight: 87.6 lbs.  
Ability: Battle Armor  
Egg Group: No Eggs  
Gender: None (games only)  
Color: Brown  
Catch Rate: 3  
Evolution: None  
Fystor is the version mascot of Pokemon Topaz, the third version. She believes in justice and fairness, which was why she is the one who keeps an eye on Secloven and Sentarpen. It's her job to keep them from getting bored and destroying something.

(No I don't know how I came up with the name Kerothyu :/ )


	12. Of Miners and Minesweepers: Part I

Long chapter is long, so I split it in two parts. :P

What is this Wargle thing Generation V's come up with? I came up with the valiant bird first! Granted, it's a badass, and it's Normal/Flying rather than Fystor's Fighting/Flying, but still. Fystor's typing is cooler. :/

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Of Miners and Minesweepers (The Ways to be a Hero! Joy for the Giggling Immortal Bomb!) – Part One

Fystor closed her eyes. _I've failed._ She wasn't used to failing, or the crushing feeling of defeat it always brought. Failing was something that happened to other people, especially people with no lives.

The feeling was deeply contrasted with the cheers and raucous laughter as the dead continued to place their bets, unaware of the severity of the situation. In their eyes, it was mostly just a game. A dangerous, unpredictable Game, to be sure, but a game nevertheless.

The Game's bright light penetrated through her eyelids, and it flashed and dimmed according to the scene playing out before her. Against her will the lids snapped open, and she watched the drama as if it wasn't really there, as if it were only a bad dream.

"_Cobalt!" Gina screamed, her delicate hands curling into fists. Jerkily she lurched forward, landing with a sudden splash into the deepening pool of his blood. Ignoring the droplets of blood which flew shakily into the air before latching themselves onto the hem of her miniskirt, she grabbed his lolling head and shook it frantically, watching his blank eyes roll back and forth. "Don't die, you idiot! You're not supposed to die!"_

_One of the more emotionally unstable grunts, a little girl who could be no more than ten, burst into tears. Bulbasaur stared in horror; Phlash sat frozen, not even the thick scent of death arousing the predator within when her shock was so prevalent._

"Stay with me!" _Gina howled, tears flowing as thick and fast as his blood._

_He merely drooped forward limply, like a dying flower wilting in the cruel winter's chill._

_Teeth ground in despair, she turned her gaze toward Severus, her dripping eyes turning as hard and cold as iron as they took in the sight of his smile, the smile of a killer._

"_YOU KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!" she roared. With an abruptness to shock everyone, she leapt from the body, which splashed into the blood as she released its hold. Before Severus could react, she had knocked him several paces backward, and she rushed at him with uncontrolled rage. "I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL—"_

"_Save it for the theater, Gina," Severus drawled lazily, pushing her away from him with ease. His claws nicked her arm, and a few drops of blood sparkled before they rippled into Cobalt's. _

_She snarled at him, hair askew, eyes wild and furious._

"_Your little admin friend is gone." The words had a strange finality to it, as if they sealed the fact that there would be no return. Ignoring Gina, he turned to the grunts instead. "I know you liked him better than me. I don't care. He had it coming to him._

"_I'm not quite done with him, though," he continued, swooping down and pulling Cobalt out of the bloody pool by the collar of his shirt. The unlucky admin was completely soaked in blood now, and it rained from his drenched clothing and wig. "He makes a good example of what happens to people who I don't like."_

_Still grinning, he raised his free hand in the air, claws hanging above his head for a moment before descending. He gave the body a condescending little shake, watching in satisfaction as the head lolled around, the arms swayed back and forth at his sides …_

_And then one of those arms rocketed upward, slamming a clenched fist into the unsuspecting executive's face._

_Severus's mouth dropped open in shock, his arm freezing in midair. "What the—"_

_Cobalt's eyes refocused, and his leg slammed upward into the offender's groin._

"_Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh!" Severus howled, dropping him and crouching into a protective position, his eyes watering in pain._

_Standing a bit shakily, Cobalt smiled at the expression on Severus's face, before hooking his foot around the man's ankles, sending him falling backward onto the rocky ground. His greasy head made a satisfying _clunk_ sound as it made contact with a particularly nasty rock._

"_What—" Severus spluttered dazedly, spitting his wayward hair out of his mouth. "But you're – how did you—?"_

_In answer, Cobalt hooked his fingers through the holes in his shirt, then pulled them sharply in separate directions, ripping it open. On top of his lean, muscular, undamaged chest (which caused the little ten-year-old girl to swoon and collapse in the midst of her uncaring peers) sat something clear, crumpled and punctured, dangling from a cord around his neck and still trickling blood. It looked suspiciously like a bag of blood which one might find in a hospital or blood bank._

_Severus stared at it, unfocused eyes narrowing in exasperation. "Do I_ want _to know?"_

"_No, I don't give my secrets to idiots."_

_He ripped the bag from his neck and tossed it in the executive's disbelieving face, smiling as the cheers rising from the grunts sharply increased in volume, ringing against the steep cavern walls. Then Gina caught him in a crushing hug, pinning his arms to his sides, and buried her tear-stained face into his shoulder, still sobbing; and suddenly all of the grunts were rushing around them, and he was abruptly lifted onto their shoulders and borne triumphantly back toward the excavation site, none of them caring that droplets of blood still dripped into their hair and eyes, because at last, at last, the tyrant had been defeated …_

Fystor's devastated expression did not change.

"Oh, look, there's a happy ending," Shaymin's voice drawled lazily. Fystor sensed her standing by her side, with a dejected Secloven behind her.

How long had they been watching? She didn't care.

"Don't be so gloomy, Feisty. You know what, Feisty's a good name for you, because it's the most ironic thing ever. Feisty, Feisty, Feisty, Feisty, Feisty—"

Ignoring the fox-like Pokemon's taunts, Fystor scanned around at the setting for the first time. A map of the world, shining deep blue and green, served as the board. It seemed that the ordinary laws of space did not apply to it, for the opposite end never seemed to stay the same distance away, and the many attempts of the dead to measure its hazy perimeter had churned out an equal number of results. The scene inside Mount Moon shimmered in the air before those gathered around, like an all-too-real hologram; various other scenes distorted its edges, rippling and changing as each struggled to be as real as the one in the center. Piles of numerous objects, such as cards, bones, and poker chips, seemed to sit motionless in the air above the board's edge. The bright light emitting from it seemed to drown out the rest of the casino, which was dimly lit.

"Mein auss ich eetching," a tinny voice complained.

Turning to the adjacent side, Fystor noticed a table that seemed to have been pulled up to the Game. The one who had just spoken sat in a chair far too small for her, jammed firmly between the table and the board. Her large, rotund body sported a curious lack of features: no eyes or mouth or visible face of any kind was present. That, however, didn't seem to discourage her from sloshing a pungent liquid inside the glass in her claw-like fingers. Her tough silver shell shone blindingly in the light of the Game, and her short, cylindrical legs were propped up lazily against the board's edge. From the darkness which served as a surrogate face, seven red dots flickered in unison at irregular intervals, as if they were blinking eyes. Sharing her table sat two others: a hulking rock-like thing with brownish dots and a patchwork appearance, and a brilliant blue crystalline being whose yellowish dots flickered just a tad less frequently. Both had tough-looking spiked backs, and both had a tough, almost bodyguard-like aura; yet the silver one seemed to hold dominance in more than just her obvious height advantage, even when she was currently reaching ineffectually for a nonexistent behind.

"Problem, Registeel?" Secloven asked airily, prancing around the spectators to meet her and shedding his sadness easily. Snapping his head around, he caught a backscratcher in his mouth from seemingly out of nowhere, before offering it to the golem.

"Ach! Danke, Secloven," Registeel said, reaching gratefully for it with her free hand and twisting its hooked end towards who knows where. "Mein self be lairge, boot vat can I do?"

Shaymin stifled a snicker.

"Mein own hoppiness doch not mattair to mein self, anyway," Registeel continued plaintively. "Ich mein mastair dat doch haff eemportance. Let oos toast to heem. Heil Regigigas!"

"Heil Regigigas!" echoed her hulking compainions, raising their own glasses in unison, albeit with some difficulty as they lacked fingers.

Then, at the same time, all three of them dumped the contents of their glasses onto their own heads, letting the drinks splash sloppily over themselves. Regice's froze into a peculiar shape as soon as it touched his head, but it seemed to evaporate into nothingness along with the others.

Fystor caught Shaymin's eye, and they both burst into uncontrollable laughter. Everyone stared in disbelief as they leaned their heads against the board, shaking with mirth.

"Youch can laff," Registeel said sternly, mistaking the cause of their hilarity for her loyalty, "boot mein mastair ees de king oof aull law ahnd ordair. Eet vas heem dat keeps dat uncouth Apolydon froom retairning to powah."

The change in the atmosphere was immediately noticeable. Everyone around the Game fell silent, their wide and fearful eyes trained on Registeel. Fystor and Shaymin froze, the smiles vanishing off their faces as if they had never been.

"_We do not speak his name!"_ Shaymin snarled, and suddenly she looked feral, teeth bared, feathery ears pinned back, hackles raised.

"I doubt it'll make a difference," Fystor said calmingly, despite her own unease. "He's already taken over the Missing One, after all."

But Shaymin could not be appeased. Still growling, she abruptly zipped through the air toward Registeel, before coming to a hovering stop just inches from her … face.

"You wouldn't be so quick to toss his name around if you knew the true terror he is," Shaymin snapped, the light in her eyes gone. "I don't care if your master's 'de king oof law ahnd ordair', it was _me_ who kept him back in the hour of darkness. If it wasn't for me, everyone in this room, including you, would be screaming in unimaginable agony."

Registeel did not flinch. "Youch ich offahnded?"

"Putting it mildly, yeah!"

"Shaymin…" Fystor murmured warningly.

"Ich fine, Fystor," Registeel said dismissively, waving her off. "Mein self joost vondairs vhy Apolydon vas not eerahdicahted, den, ven youch faced heem een dze hour oof dahrkness. Vas eet veakness, pooseebly? Or vere youch merely ahfraid?"

There was a moment of tense, abrupt silence. Outside of the game, the happy-go-lucky dead on the roulettes paused, realizing something was amiss. A strange quiet was settling upon the Casino like snow, and soon only those who were furthest from the game could still be heard. "Surfin' USA" drifted softly from the loudspeakers overhead, clearly audible for the first time in a long while. Secloven bit his lip and glanced at the Game, barely noticing the cheering Rockets.

Fystor watched the odd staring contest, her eyes darting between Registeel's relaxed position and Shaymin's tensed muscles. _This is the problem with abrasive personalities,_ she decided. _They always rub together the wrong way. We don't need that, especially not now. Hopefully Shaymin's not mad enough to forget that._

Then Shaymin spoke, and her voice barely rose above a hoarse whisper. "Weak?" she hissed. "Weak? Afraid, I can understand. Who wouldn't be afraid to face him? Who wouldn't be afraid to willingly walk into the place where he is strongest? Who wouldn't be afraid of a slow death by torture? Yeah, I was afraid, I'll admit that. I was terrified, I was scared, I kept wishing someone would swoop down and tell me the worst bit was over, that I could go home. I was _hoping_ for death, if that's what it took to stop the pain. But it takes a strong heart to stay in a bad situation when you can just walk out anytime. A weak person wouldn't stay there to save the souls of those who would spit on him as soon as look at him. I am not weak. I accomplished the task I was born to do, and my soul is still in one piece. The world was on my shoulders, but its weight didn't crush me. So no, it 'vas not veakness'."

"Shaymin—" Fystor began.

The fox swiveled around to face her, and she was astonished to see that Shaymin's eyes were bright with tears. "We're leaving, Fystor."

"But—"

"Don't argue with me." She fluttered a little ways away, ignoring Secloven's hesitant reach for her.

"The Game—"

"I SAID DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!"

Everyone flinched. It seemed impossible that such a noise could blast from someone that small.

Fystor opened her beak, decided that arguing wasn't going to help, and snapped it shut again. Shooting an apologetic look to Sentarpen, who was looking baffled, she darted after her overemotional sister. They only went a few yards before both abruptly dematerialized, leaving no trace that they had been there.

Registeel's … eyes … blinked. "Vas eet sometink mein self said?"

Nobody answered her. The dead, taking this to be the end of the drama, turned back to their gambling. Their volume swelled to normal, in a babbling, untraceable flow of words.

Then a tiny, runt-like Pokemon across from the Twins abruptly burst into tears. "Th-th-that was so beautiful!" she wailed, tears streaming down her face. Her golden, star-shaped headdress shook along with the rest of her stubby body as she cried, and the teal tags sticking from three of its points fluttered.

"Erm … well, yes," Sentarpen agreed, looking a bit uncomfortable. "But—"

"She is s-so inspirational!" the Pokemon cried. "It makes me wish I had a p-purpose in life, too!"

"But you _do_ have a purpose, remember?"

But the Pokemon wasn't listening. She seemed to prefer bawling over hearing people out.

"Jirachi, Jirachi, please!" Secloven pleaded. He blinked a long, slow blink, and a white handkerchief appeared directly in front of the little Pokemon's face, as if by magic. "This is a happy place! Be happy, for my sake!"

Hesitantly Jirachi took the handkerchief and dabbed her eyes with it. "I-I want to b-be happy," she said, her hitching breaths slowing, "b-but …"

"The Game?" he asked hurriedly. "It's about time you had a turn, after all."

At the sound of his voice, the dice – still scattered on the colorfully bright board, where Fystor had tossed them – rolled mechanically toward Jirachi, who diffidently opened her tiny hand. Without missing a beat, they leapt straight into her outstretched palm, where they waited patiently for her move.

Abruptly the scene above the board was pushed to the edge, replaced by the image of the girl and her friend stepping into the light. Sentarpen's eyes gleamed: once again Fate would toss those two into another surprising twist.

"I don't get it," Secloven murmured into his sister's tufted ear. Neither took their eyes off of Jirachi, who was preparing to roll. "Why did Feisty go emo over the Cobalt guy living? That's a **Crushing** prevented, after all."

Sentarpen didn't move her gaze as she spoke. "It's because they're happy."

"Wow, being happy. That's a huge problem. Nothing says 'the world is going downhill' quite like happiness."

She ignored his sarcasm. "You have to be analytical about it. Think: the Severus is very horrible to the Rockets—"

"Understatement of the year."

"—and they're delighted that he's been put in his place, even if it's for just a little while. In fact, they are so happy that their aura just might attract somebody."

Unaware of the stares, Jirachi's eyes narrowed slightly in concentration, and her tiny fist uncurled as the dice flew from it. They flew through the air for a brief moment, glinting in the board's light.

The smile slipped from Secloven's face, and his eyes bugged in comprehension. "You mean … _her?_"

"Exactly. And she just can't _wait_ to practice that new technique she's learned."

He turned pale under his soft crimson fur. "Crap."

The dice clacked as they struck the board, their numerous sides whirling as they spun in a sort of bouncing roll. They skittered for a moment before abruptly coming to a halt, a total of eleven dark dots facing upward. Jirachi hesitated before she reached for the stack of cards. The Game was on; there was no turning back.

* * *

The brightness forced Leaf to squeeze her eyes shut; after the long, arduous trek through the dark passage, practically any light would be too much to handle.

The noise was what got her attention: something snarling deafeningly, its growls ricocheting off the walls of the cavern. The beast seemed to have no need to pause for breath, for its snarl continued in a single long, grating, unbroken sound; yet every now and then it was punctuated by a sudden increase in pitch, rising almost to a low soprano, before returning to a deep, rumbling base. Whenever this happened, the scuffling sounds abruptly became more pronounced, and the mutterings of the human battling it became interrupted by a loud curse.

Curiosity quickly overcame her better judgment, and she forced her eyes to open for the cold blue light. The luminosity stung unpleasantly, but that wasn't what made her gasp: the cavern she had just stepped into was roughly conical in shape, its slanted walls dark and flawlessly smooth. She craned her neck to peer upward into its height. So tall? She had thought for sure that their endless walk had taken them at least somewhere in the proximity of the mountain's peak, and yet it still stretched above them, evasive as ever. Disappointment seeped into her mind at this revelation. Making an exasperated face, she lowered her gaze to the abandoned Moon Shop. The depilated, lopsided building was little more than a glorified shack, its roof slanted unevenly over one of its grimy windows. Its wood was rotted, and knots splayed though its unspectacularly dull color. Yet the pockmarked rocks surrounding it, the source of the light, splashed it in a silver that made one almost imagine that its walls had been beautiful at some point. Lower still was the rocky, jagged floor, with cracks that spider-webbed ominously through it; it was unnerving to imagine just how deep they might reach.

But the shadowy figure riding cowboy-style on the snarling, unidentifiable beast was what got her attention.

"Damn it!" the figure hissed as the monster bucked wildly, clasping onto its horns to stay on. "Why don't you move it already, you idiot? You're supposed to help me, not let it kill me!"

Leaf opened her mouth to retort, but then another familiar voice whined from somewhere in the shadows. "But I do not like it, Master! It is a savage demon, and it could crush me! Getting crushed is not what I was planning on doing when I did wake up this morning."

From her side, Lightning nudged her hard. "I know that voice!" he said excitedly, referring to the angry human. "It's Fire!"

_Fire? What's he still doing here?_ Then she noticed several small objects scattered on the ground, fattened and shattered: the remains of several Poke Balls. _Oh, he's trying to catch the thing. Makes sense._ She remembered how he had saved her from certain death, and she blushed without knowing why.

The beast swung into the light then, revealing its features. Rocky gray plates covered its tough-looking gray body. Its legs, like its sharp claws and the horn on its nose, were short and stubby. Its crimson eyes flashed in anger as it snarled menacingly, attempting to shake Fire; but he was sitting firmly between the two spikes which protruded from its back.

Then he spotted the new arrivals watching from the entrance. "Well, don't just stand there!" he yelled angrily, gritting his teeth as the Rhyhorn bucked again. "Bring it down!"

Leaf and Lightning glanced at each other and shrugged. "'Kay, Peach, get ready for this one," Lightning said, giving the small yellow mouse a knowing look.

"No," Leaf said suddenly.

"_No?_"

"I want my Pokemon to deal with this one," she explained, grabbing a Poke Ball off her belt. "They need the experience for the next gym, since they actually need to win that one. Besides, electricity doesn't do anything against rock-types."

"… You mean ground-types."

"Well, for all intents and purposes they're the same thing, right?"

"No."

"Whatever."

Paris and Frosti materialized in beams of red as bright as sparkling rubies, the silver of her shell and the flame of his tail shining brightly in the dim cave. Leaf tried to suppress her shock at the fact that Paris's head now reached her knee. _She's growing up so fast,_ she thought fondly.

"Look, Mommy!" the little Lapras chirped, using her indigo head to indicate the unorthodox rodeo. "That guy I beat in the place with all the trees is trying to fly! He looks so silly. But I think that horny thing is getting mad at him." She giggled.

"He is, isn't he?" Leaf agreed, patting the Pokemon's head. The Rhyhorn, she could see, was beyond mad: it was frothing at the mouth, its furious eyes red with rage. The guttural snarl issuing from its throat vibrated the stale air. Frosti flinched when its unfocused gaze passed over him.

Cheri, watching it from her post around Leaf's neck, looked unmoved by this show of wrath. "You're wrong," she said, sounding completely indifferent.

"What? How does he not look mad?"

The caterpillar rolled her eyes. "That isn't what I meant. That Rhyhorn is female, you know."

Leaf did a double take. "Really? She sounds pretty masculine to me."

"_I could've told you that,"_ the Pokedex said in an annoyingly helpful tone, abruptly forgetting its silence. _"Perhaps you could let me give you some information that might shed some light on why it looks so incredibly stupid-looking—"_

"WHAT THE HELL?" Fire roared, grabbing the spikes tighter as the beast almost threw him off. "ARE YOU GOING TO JUST STAND THERE, OR DO I HAVE TO DO THIS MYSELF?"

"… _Or not. Fine, then. Be a pigheaded moron, you cowboy. By the way, your hat just flew off. It's a very ugly hat, would you like me to obliterate it for you?"_

"Get over yourself, Fire. Okay, Frosti, start off with a Sunny Day to blind him – her, I mean – and then sweep in with an Iron Tail. Cheri, while he's doing that I want you to jump in there and slow her down with a couple String Shots. Paris, can you land your adorable Growl on her?"

"Yes, Mommy!" The Lapras nuzzled her trainer's hand.

"Great."

Frosti cleared his throat nervously. "Can I sit this one out? That thing looks rabid."

"No. Now get a move on it."

The fiery lizard cringed, but he nevertheless swung his tail around in a bright, fiery arc. Light from the shining rock rushed down with the sweeping movement, forming a small, bright, silvery orb a few yards above their heads. The flame on his tail grew startlingly blinding as it caught the surrogate sunlight. He then stiffened in shock as Cheri slid down off of Leaf's neck and onto his head, ready to move in.

Warily he darted toward the bucking Rhyhorn, sidling around behind her before she could catch sight of him. He concentrated for a brief moment, and soon his tail became a bright, shimmery silver, matching the orb above. Looking nervous, he swung his tail upward before slamming it down on the Rhyhorn's behind with a loud crunch.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Peach chanted, leaning forward on Lightning's shoulder as she watched eagerly.

Growling, the beast clumsily turned around, murder in her eyes and a cursing Fire on her back. "Lizard must die!" she roared, twisting her head toward him with astonishing speed and sticking the sharp horn on her nose into Frosti's flank. He screamed in pain, but she ignored him, instead yanking it out and twisting it into one of the many sections of Cheri's body. The young Weedle cringed, but she nevertheless pulled her injured body away from the horn, leaving a gaping hole dripping with green bug blood. Gasping, she shot a sticky white string at the Rhyhorn's feet, but the brute simply leapt over it with surprising agility. The rhino prepared to rake her lethally sharp horn through Frosti again, but a high-pitched purr distracted her, and she easily missed the Charmander.

"Atta girl, Paris!" Leaf cheered, patting her on the head. She could feel the Growl's vibrations through the contact, just a second before they stopped emanating from the sleek sea serpent's throat. _That thing is way tougher than I thought,_ she said to herself worriedly, watching Frosti dodge the Rhyhorn's horn again. _I need a better way of getting this done._

"Leaf!" Frosti yelled, swiping at the beast with his claws. "She's too tough for me! I really don't like her—"

The next Horn Attack was better aimed, stabbing him right in the gut. He gasped as it knocked the wind out of him, eyes widening before they went blank with unconsciousness. Limply he collapsed to the floor, Cheri leaping nimbly off of his head before impact.

"Damn it!" Leaf exclaimed darkly, returning the fiery lizard back to his Poke Ball. "How am I supposed to do this? Cheri, try poisoning her!"

The Weedle leapt into the air, somersaulting over the raging Rhyhorn, and landed smoothly behind her, stabbing her large rocky rear with her head spike. The skin was far too tough to be punctured, however, and Cheri was forced to jump out of the way as the furious rhino awkwardly turned around, snapping at the spot that she had just left. A swift movement caught the Rhyhorn's eye, and she slowly twisted toward it, only to trip and fall hard on the stone floor, her stubby forepaws entangled in Cheri's clever barrage of String Shots.

Fire, still muttering profanities under his breath, grabbed another Poke Ball from his belt and threw it at the beast's head, but she merely jerked it upward, smashing the ball with her spiked nose. The fragments spun wildly through the air before clattering lightly against the floor.

A sudden burst of cheering erupted from below them, and everyone froze, listening. Despite the huge distance that must stand between the floor and the base of the mountain below, the noise was clearly audible.

"Fabulous," Leaf sighed, rolling her eyes. "Like this situation's not crazy enough." She glanced at the mouth of the tunnel behind her, as if expecting a horde of war-crazed Spartans to come bursting through it.

Frosti's fake silver sun flickered, then winked out into nothingness. The cave suddenly seemed horribly dark, in spite of the shining stones all around them, and the Rhyhorn crazily stared through Leaf, awaiting her next move ...

* * *

Brock stood in the tall tent's entrance, gazing (probably) out over the scene below. The busy action of numerous police and medical personnel, still herding evacuees toward safety, mirrored the thoughts bouncing around inside his head. If someone had walked up to him two days ago and told him that he was going to have to deal with Tyran, angry citizens, his possible unemployment, a very pretty brunette, the destruction of his city, _and_ the arrival of Roark, he would have immediately brushed them off. Events like those could never happen all together in such a short space of time, he'd have told himself. And yet here he was, two days later, staring – well, _seeming_ to stare – over the large makeshift camp at the flooded ruins. It was madness.

His list of problems was far too long for his comfort. Somehow he was expected to make sure everyone was safe and on high ground. He'd need to go asking the nearby farmers beyond the wreckage for food to feed them all, as he was pretty sure that they hadn't brought enough emergency rations to go around. And people needed to be kept somewhere, herded like sheep. Where were they going to go? It wasn't as if somebody could just toss them into the Lost and Found.

Putting the people problem aside for a moment – all right, for more than a moment – he grimaced as he remembered a clash from just a few hours ago. Some gorgeous blond girl had walked up to him, bold and anything, and slapped him. _Hard_. Then she started yelling about how he was weak and should have been able to stop the flood, and why was he wearing something that tacky, anyway? Even though she was long gone, her angry voice was still ringing in his ears.

And then there was the other thing. He … looked … behind him into the tent, which was full of thin white cots, as it belonged to Nurse Joy. Several bandaged Pokemon rested on them, looking tired and bored. The Nurse herself hurried busily between them, back and forth, but she was passing by a particular cot far too often for Brock's liking. The cot's occupant seemed rather embarrassed by this.

"Really, I'm fine," he protested for the fiftieth time. "I'm not hurt or anything. Skipper made sure of that."

The gigantic mudfish standing by his side glowed with pride at these words.

"Oh, don't be silly!" the Nurse chirped, sounding even more giggly than usual. "You need to rest, and what better reason to rest than almost getting electrocuted?"

"But—"

"Hush!" she said, cutting him off. She reached his other side, placing a slender hand on his forehead. "Don't get yourself stirred up. You need to just lay back, relax—"

"But—"

"I thought you didn't hold for healing humans, Joy," Brock said suddenly, startling both of them. "Or are he and Leaf different subspecies?"

Joy was spared the need for a stammered excuse when the walkie-talkie on her utility belt squawked. The belt wasn't very nurse-like, but emergencies such as these made such discrepancies unnecessary. It hugged her hips so tightly that she could only take rather small steps.

Brock wanted so badly to be that belt.

"_Nurse?"_ the voice from the walkie-talkie repeated. Officer Jenny. Originally Brock had been following her all around the makeshift camp, but she had managed to lose him somehow.

Hastily withdrawing her hand, Joy unclipped the walkie-talkie, bringing it up to face level. "I'm here!"

"_That's good to hear, I'm sure. I'm guessing Brock's with you?"_

"He is! Do you want me to put him on?"

"_For the love of Arceus, no."_

Brock scowled.

"_Look, we'll be having a meeting shortly. All the important people have to be there, you see. That means Brock has to be there for some reason. Are you listening, Brock?"_

He didn't answer – not that he had to.

"_We need to come up with better solutions for this whole thing. I wouldn't have minded just escorting the evacuees out first, but the mayor insisted that the sooner the problem gets solved, the better. I think he's clamoring for city insurance or something. It's not like I can argue with him, since I have to babysit Oak's grandson. Anyway, it starts in a few minutes, so you both should hurry up and get here before I get annoyed or something."_

"We're on our way!" Joy said in a cheerful voice so cheesy that both the young men sweatdropped.

"_Good. Oh, and one other thing."_ Here Jenny's voice suddenly became soft and shy. _"I, uh, need Roark to come too."_

Brock's overactive imagination kicked in at this point. He didn't like what it was showing him.

"_We'll probably have the Contest problem settled by the time you get here, you see."_

The spiky-haired gym leader relaxed at these words.

Joy rolled her eyes. "Oh, all right," she sighed. "But I need to stay by him at all times. He might collapse, you know."

"I'm not going to coll—"

"_I know he's perfectly fine, which is why I don't want him to sit in bed all day. Besides, you'll try and keep him there forever anyway, and he probably doesn't want that, so at least respect what he wants."_

"…Okay. We're coming."

She clipped it back onto her belt and reached for him, but he leapt off the cot before she could grab him. A second later he was standing next to Brock, looking somewhat relieved. Skipper chuckled and followed them out of the tent, Nurse Joy trailing behind dejectedly.

"She's actually pretty scary," he whispered conspiratorially as they made their way through the short, yellowing grass. He glanced behind to make sure she wasn't eavesdropping. "Way worse than the one in Oreburgh. At least I could promise to see _her_ later. The Oreburgh Jenny, now, she was _really_ bad. She stole my shoe once, and apparently she was doing some really creepy things with it, since—"

"Oh, shut up," Brock growled, not looking at him. "Don't go on and on about how much they drool over you."

"What—?"

"And don't pretend you don't know what I mean, either!" Now that he had started, Brock realized that his internal dam had just burst. A few passing, limping civilians glanced up curiously at his volume, but he ignored them. "As if I don't already have so much to do, you just _have_ show up here at the worst possible time! Girls are supposed to be leaping up into my arms and gazing up at me while the rest of the panicked humanity swirls around us, but you're distracting them! You know what, my life is turning into a pretty bad chick flick right now! I mean, why else would a jock get half-ignored by his own city when the nerdy cousin just shows up out of nowhere, and for no reason? You tell me that, and I _might_ just listen to you!"

He turned toward Roark then, ready to deliver another, harsher blow; but the words caught in his throat when he … saw … the expression on the redhead's face. The puppy-dog eyes he was being given were probably capable of inducing an "awwww" reaction from even a cold-blooded killer.

On an unimportant note, a passing little girl stared this expression for a moment before she pointed at him, looking up at her watchful mother and saying seriously, "Mommy, I want one of _those_ for Christmas."

Brock could feel his own heart melting at the soft, insistent gaze. _You cruel bastard,_ he thought to himself. _You just had to go shoot him down when he was starting to cheer up again._ He glanced (possibly) away, mainly to avoid the shocked disbelief in those eyes, and found himself being stared at by Skipper. The buff Swampert glared at him murderously, looming protectively over his trainer.

"Er … sorry," he muttered apologetically, turning to look (apparently) over the chaotic mess below. His pride suffered slightly when he spoke the words, but at least a bit of the weight seemed lifted off of his shoulders. Besides, the chance that he would be smashed into the ground by an enormous mudfish had now dropped considerably.

Roark sighed. "I'm sorry too," he said, dropping his gaze. "I shouldn't be distracting you with girl talk when people are dying."

Another pang of guilt stabbed through Brock's conscience, this time for the people he had sworn to protect and yet had barely thought about.

Skipper rumbled darkly, but subsided as Roark patted his nose. "And I already told you why I came here," he continued. "For Contests. You heard that yesterday when I was telling Leaf."

"Yeah …" Brock paused for a moment, hoping to put the girl issue behind them. "But ... why here? There's nothing wrong with the Super Contests in Sinnoh … well, nothing as far as Contests are concerned, anyway. You could've just ignored your dad and done those easily, and you didn't. I don't think you were telling the whole story the other day."

"Of course not. But it's not a pleasant one."

"I'd hear it anyway."

"Did you ever hear the expression 'ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies'?"

"Yeah."

"Exactly."

Brock punched his shoulder playfully. "You're such a nerd."

The Coordinator grinned. "Something wrong with that?"

"No, but you would be so much more awesome if you were manly like me."

"… Where did _that_ come from?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. It's true, though. Remember that family reunion a couple years ago, when your dad said to me, 'Brock, my son won't listen to me. Maybe you can convince him to cut his girl hair'?"

"I do _not_ have girl hair!"

"Yes. Yes, you do."

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"Do shut up," Officer Jenny said wearily, her sudden appearance from within a nearby tent startling them. "Brock, the meeting's in here. You weren't looking where you were going, were you?"

Brock blushed. "Of course I was," he retorted defensively.

She raised a blue-green eyebrow at him. His knees trembled; it was so easy to forget to overlook girls when they gave you that kind of look. Roark stifled a snicker at the reaction.

Finally withdrawing her probing look, the officer changed the subject. "It seems like everyone's here," she said, counting them off on her fingers. "You and me — Jack and the mayor are inside — and there's Joy right behind you."

A slender hand suddenly grabbed Roark's shoulder. "Are you feeling okay?" its owner chirped, placing her chin on his other shoulder and grinning in an eerily cute way.

Panicked, he tried to jerk away, but her grip was strong. Fortunately, Skipper was stronger, and the miner found himself easily yanked into the Swampert's comforting grasp. Placing a paw on each of his trainer's shoulders, the mudfish growled a soft warning at the young nurse.

Joy turned pale, eyes widening. Roark would have felt sorry for her if she hadn't been so terrifyingly overbearing.

Brock seemed to feel sorry for her anyway.

"Fear not, sweet nurse!" he exclaimed, leaping at her and throwing his arms around her in what was meant to be a protective hug. "I will save you! I can be your hero, baby …"

Roark watched the look of stupefied disbelief on her face, and he desperately hoped that he hadn't been wearing it just a few seconds earlier.

"That's enough," Jenny sighed, rolling her eyes. "As if things aren't weird already … anyway, Roark, we've talked about the Contest thing, and it's been decided that even if there were a spot for it to take place—"

He hung his head; he knew where this was going.

"—A Contest really isn't high on our priorities right now," she finished apologetically. "I really don't have time for keeping noob Coordinators from killing each other anyway. Not with that horrible excuse for a collector on my hands …" Her face suddenly lit up, as if by the metaphorical light bulb. "Say ... would you mind bringing Ocean with you? Ocean Oak? Just to keep an eye on him for a while, so he doesn't get into any more trouble and I won't have to be bothered with him. It'd only be for a few days."

He shrugged in consent, then gasped when she suddenly leapt forward caught him in a crushing hug.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!" she moaned happily. "He's been so annoying! Now he's out of my hair and I don't have to watch him or listen to him go on and on about how he's memorized the names of every subspecies of Magikarp!"

"Need … to … breathe …" he wheezed.

"Sorry!" she laughed awkwardly, releasing her hold and stepping back. The blood rushing to her face suggested that she had enjoyed that a lot more than he did.

"The Contest in Cerulean is coming up in just a couple days!" Joy piped in, staring at them enviously and half-ignoring Brock's embrace. "It's not far, you could probably make it there really quickly. Although," she added as an afterthought, "that means you could stick around here for a while longer." She raised her eyebrows at him suggestively.

He cringed at this remark. "I really need to take off, though, and Jenny needs the kid gone. But thanks anyway."

Looking at the expression on Brock's face, he felt an aching pang of hurt at his cousin's noticeable relief. _As if he had nothing better to do than monopolize girls,_ he thought bitterly. _He's not even going to miss me._ Still, the relief was not immediately obvious under the façade of regret that the gym leader was struggling to put up. It wasn't very convincing, but Roark appreciated the effort.

"Well, my half-sister who's up on the mountain told me that the Rockets are causing some nasty earthquakes up there," Joy said, grasping at straws. "Maybe, in case somebody up there is hurt, I could come with the two of you—"

"NO!" everyone else yelled at the same time.

"Joy, face reality," Jenny explained tiredly. "People may or may not be injured up there. People are _definitely_ injured here. Do the math."

"And we'd really move faster if it was just me and the other guy," Roark added. He decided not to put in a "but thanks for the offer", since that would only encourage her.

"And I love you," Brock cooed.

Everyone stared at him. He … gazed … down at Joy for a long while before seeming to look up, noticing their incredulous gawking.

"What?" he asked defensively. "It's true."

* * *

"_If you're smart, you'll use Paris,"_ the Pokedex commented helpfully, ignoring the sound of the cheering as Cheri artfully leapt away from another potential goring.

Leaf glared at it. "I'm not sending a baby like her into a fight against that thing."

"Hey!" Paris pouted, sticking out her lower lip. "I'm no baby, Mommy! I'm a big girl now!"

"No, Paris, you'll get hurt—"

"_Suit yourself," _the Pokedex said, shrugging._ "But she's got a wider moveset than that Weedle. Just throwing my two cents in here."_

Leaf and Lightning simply gawked at it.

"…_What?"_ it asked rudely. _"Don't look at me that way! I am not an animal!"_

"You …" Lightning said shakily, "… y-you just shrugged."

"_I did not shrug,"_ it retorted snappily. _"It's impossible. Everyone knows that Pokedexes can't shrug."_

"But you just did," Leaf pointed out.

"_I did no such thing. Next you'll be telling me I've grown another eye."_

"…"

"…"

"_What startlingly intelligent conversationalists. I really love your arguments, but could you at least pause for breath once in a while?"_

Leaf rubbed her aching temples; she didn't need the Pokedex's sarcasm in the heat of the battle. "Please, just tell us info about it. I'm not in the mood for funny business right now."

"_Aw, you're no fun. Rhyhorn, the Blockhead Pokemon. Gender is Female, like you didn't know that already. Did you know that it has a brain whose composition is ninety-eight percent mineral? Meaning that its brain is literally MADE OF ROCK. Yeah, it doesn't help that the thing is the size of your fist, either. It's so stupid, it can only remember one thing at a time! And its nerve endings are pretty rocky, too, so it's not going to feel any pain from whatever you throw at it. Not until tomorrow, anyway. Then it'll get a pretty good idea of what a hangover is like, I think."_

The girl tapped her chin with her fingers, thinking. "Stupid … one thing at a time … hmm. Paris, you're going out there after all."

The little Lapras grinned and tensed, eager to battle.

"The Rhyhorn might not remember to faint," Lightning commented.

That wasn't comforting.

"Kay, Paris," Leaf said, ignoring him and keeping her eyes on the battle. Cheri leapt gracefully, almost as if dancing, while the Rhyhorn's bulkier movements were reminiscent of some drugged cow, complete with a very unhappy cowboy. _Beauty and the beasts,_ she thought, and chuckled inwardly. "I need you to give Rhyhorn a good dose of Water Gun. Then she's going to look at us, and you can give her another one right in the face! Sound good?"

"Yeah!" Paris cheered excitedly. Following the brute's movements with her head, she opened her mouth and launched a solid stream of water through the air, striking her right in the side. Angrily she turned around, fuming, only to get a harsh eyeful of water. Screeching, she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to clear the water from them.

"Great job! Now I want you to hit her hard with a Return, but don't stick around to get hurt."

The Lapras gazed up at her trainer in admiration, her eyes turning into huge pink hearts. "I love you, Mommy!" she squealed happily, seeming almost to grow taller right before her trainer's eyes. Then Leaf realized that she was _floating_ on a large pink heart, which was swelling and rising off the floor like some mutant hovercraft. Hardly two seconds had passed from Leaf's command, when Paris abruptly took off on her heart, racing above the cavern floor and weaving around wildly. Giggling, she dive-bombed the horned menace, slamming her into the ground with astonishing force. A few indigo scales flew off upon impact, clattering softly against the floor. She then rose swiftly into the air again, yelping "Wheeeee!" as the Rhyhorn groaned and picked herself off the floor, disoriented. Fire took the opportunity to get a better grip on the horn in front of him, grumbling inaudibly.

Leaf stared in wonder. Cute, shiny, _and_ powerful? She wished Skipper were here to watch. "Whoa, nice one! Now stick her with an Ice Shard before she tries to hit you! Cheri, try poisoning her again."

"It didn't work the first time, did it, human?" Cheri muttered, but nevertheless tensed herself for her next attack.

Paris aimed her open mouth towards the foe again, and a sudden barrage of small, jagged icicles rushed from within it. With shocking speed they whistled through the air, almost immediately slicing at Rhyhorn's tough skin. Cheri swiftly sidled up alongside the beast, concentrating on the damp area that marked where the icicles had struck, and stabbed it with her sharp tail spike. This time it hit home, sinking deep into the rocky hide, softened by moisture.

Yowling in rage, the Rhyhorn turned toward the caterpillar, drooling furiously. Her rotating body changed the angle at which the spike had entered, and Cheri, though she pulled as hard as she could, was unable to break free. The brute raised a stout paw, her stubby claws protruding ominously, and Cheri's eyes widened as it began to descend, as if in slow motion, in a lethal Stomp that would surely crush her head.

"Oh, Cheri!" Leaf yelled in horror, fumbling at the Poke Balls on her belt in search of the right one. Lightning and Peach gasped, eyes wide.

Suddenly Cheri froze, twitching. A faint glow appeared around her body, distorting the view of the Rhyhorn behind her.

Relaxing, Lightning looked at Peach. "They call this déjà vu," he told her, pointing at Cheri.

"I _know_, sweetie," Peach retorted, rolling her eyes. But she patted his head, all the same.

The Rhyhorn screamed in pain and shock as the glow around the tail spike (because Cheri was evolving all over the place, not just where she was visible) began to eat away at the portions of the body that it touched. The beast easily yanked herself away from contact: there was a dark, gaping hole in her side, larger than the tail spike. Its edges sizzled as dark blood oozed slowly downward, its flow as sluggish as mud. Leaf shuddered and looked away, turning back to watch Cheri, who was trembling violently but would not scream. _Poor, brave bug,_ the girl thought, half-smiling in admiration at her Weedle's courage.

Golden goo began to drip from Cheri's head spike, trickling down over her head. The trickle soon came on faster as a small stream; then it gushed down in full force, quickly encasing her shaking form. It hardened at an alarmingly fast rate as it poured down. The second her tail spike became fully coated, the glow abruptly faded, and the new Pokemon seemed to relax, although she still shivered from the memory of the paralyzing pain.

Leaf gazed at the beauty of Cheri's gold protective coat, which shone softly in the light of the surrounding stones. The Pokemon's lower body was tapered to a point, and a pair of skinny, sharp arms was held close to her chest, as if for warmth or protection. Her dark eyes narrowed into an impassive glare, but nothing else indicated that she had once had a head.

"Mmph," she commented.

"_Oh, _yeah!_ LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! Ahem. Kakuna, the Hard Pokemon. Take that as you will. Gender is … what the hell, you already know what it is! Why do you keep asking me dumb questions?"_

"I didn't—"

"_But you were going to, Naaaarrrrrrrgh! Eh, whatever. Kakuna are pretty much like Metapod, except they're not on drugs. I guess that could make a lot of difference. Anyway, they mostly sit around doing nothing, because they're such couch potatoes. _Supposedly_, it's to preserve energy for their next evolution, but everyone knows that it's really because their butts are really lazy."_

"Mmmmph?" Cheri asked wryly. Suddenly bouncing up onto her point, she stood upright. She jabbed her arms outwards towards the Pokedex, and a sticky string abruptly shot from each pointed arm. The strings hit the Pokedex's speakers dead-on, and its indignant yells were comically muffled.

Several yeards away, the Rhyhorn sat uncharacteristically still, staring in horror at the appalling wound in her side. Fire, taking advantage of her distraction, pulled another ball from his belt.

And then, quite suddenly, all hell broke loose.

* * *

Victory tasted sweet; revenge and glory were even sweeter.

That was the most obvious truth running through Cobalt's head, borne through the air by Gina and his many underlings. As they ran under him, the wind ruffled his bloodstained wig, and he half-closed his eyes as he grinned at the sweet scent of unearthed minerals rushing towards him. He bounced contentedly as they happily attempted to navigate the uneven ground, their deafening cheers ricocheting off the walls and wafting towards the shadowy ceiling. Bulbasaur and Phlash ran alongside the horde of Rockets, the latter occasionally snapping playfully at the heels of stragglers. Glancing behind him, he smirked at the distant, pitiful figure of Severus, painfully dragging himself towards them. Returning his gaze towards the nearing excavation site, where several evil pink cult fairies were dancing in circles around the glorious silvery stone, he laughed as a beautiful idea formed in his mind: the grunts would be finishing the work under his command, not Severus's. _He_ would be the one to take credit for the unearthing of the Massive Moon Stone, not that unsavory executive. Promotion would be inevitable. The entire cave around him seemed to dazzle with the splendor that he was basking in.

And yet something still nagged him.

He tried hard to shut out the memory of Gina standing over his seemingly dead body, and yet he could still hear her words ringing in his mind, as clearly as if he were still lying prone in the pool of donated blood: _"YOU KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!"_

Best friend.

Inwardly he snarled in defiance at the statement. He was nobody's friend. He had acquaintances, to be sure: grunts and junior admins and his own fellow admins, and executives and the Boss himself, all on a hierarchal chain of order. In the cutthroat quest for the Boss's favor, grudging respect and sneering commandeering were his closest allies. He had neither the time, nor the capacity, nor the patience for friendship.

And yet another part of him was treacherously touched by her words. There was something oddly refreshing in having somebody around who could look him in the eye without fear or disgust, somebody who could poke fun at him without fearing a negative report as a result. And really, if he was honest with himself, he enjoyed her company. Certainly more than the mindlessness of the many grunts under him. Not to mention that it was always nice to have somebody to balance him out, to catch him when he fell.

_How very poetic,_ he snapped sarcastically, trying to drive the feeling away. _Next you're going to burst into song and skip off into the sunshine. Get a hold on yourself._

Perhaps he would have struggled with his inner emotions more, to create a deeply uncertain character complex. Perhaps, in time, he could have reached a conclusion that could have both solved his problems and eased his guilt at having them in the first place. Perhaps he might have really reached a point at which he would willingly burst into song and skip off into the sunshine.

But, thanks to the giggler, the world will never know.

* * *

On the treacherous, sun-baked trails that climbed uncertainly upwards towards Mount Moon, as the sun began fall into the west on its journey toward sunset, one would expect to see a Spearow eating a dead Rattata, or perhaps a deranged child flaunting his shorts fetish.

One would _not_ expect to see a massive mudfish climbing steadily upwards, breathing heavily, with four passengers aboard for the bumpy ride; their combined weight would not pose nearly as big a problem to his injury as the crushing coils of an Onix would. A Pokemon snoozed comfortably in the arms of the human in front. Another Pokemon lay sprawled on the Swampert's large head, and was gritting her teeth at the endless babble streaming from the second human.

"So I dold hib dat I'd begome de greadest collegdor id de world," Ocean was saying, sniffing heartily. "Ad he said do be, he said: 'Oh really?' Ad I gould'dt led hib hab de lasd word, gould I? So I gabe hib dis look, see, ad I said, 'Yeah, really!' Ad I guess he gould'dt really beliebe dat, so he raised his eyebrow, de lefd one, I dink, ad he said, 'Do way!' Bud I needed hib do see dat I was serious here, so I said—"

"Please," the Pokemon muttered, leaning her head against one of Skipper's blue head fins. "Somebody. Shoot. Me. Now."

Closing his eyes, Roark took several deep breaths to calm himself. Hardly fifteen minutes in the excitable blonde's company, and he was really starting to pity Officer Jenny – the Pewter Jenny, that is. He would never forgive Oreburgh Jenny for what she did to his shoe.

"… I really liged Dyrad, he was fud. I jusd wish I gould habe agdually draid hib bedder. Ded he'd sdill be bide. I wish I had Leaf's luck, she fides de Labras ad de Swamberd … Roarg, did you dow dat your Swamberd loogs exagdly lige Leaf's? Bud I dink hers is fadder …"

"…"

"So you ad Brogg are gousids, den? I deber dew dad. Id'd be hard do guess, you dow, sidce you loog so differedt frob eajh other. Lige, how you're really, really pale, ad he's nod. And he does'dt habe eyes, bud you obviously habe eyes. I bead, loog at dose glasses! Dey're, lige, edorbous! You really are a derd … id a good way, ob gourse! I dew a derd odce, he was fud. Bud den he fell off a cliff. Dat sugged for hib …"

"…"

"You eber heard ob Eebee? Ob gourse you habe. Eberyode's heard ob Eebee. Beoble really lige Eebee begause id's really rare ad sduff. Bersodally I dod't really gare for Eebee, dough, id's a bit oberraded. Bud beoble tell be dat I loog lige sobbody who'd traid ad Eebee. Dey dink I'd be dice do id ad ode day ebolbe id idto ad Ubreon. Well, agdually id'd be ode dight, since dat's whed you cad ged ad Ubreon. Deir fluffy coads are dice, dough. I gould go ged ode ad shabe it. Den I gould habe a bare Ubreon! Hahahaha! Ged id, a bare Ubreon? You dow, bare, ad Ubreon …?"

"…"

He pulled out his Pokedex and a pair of earphones. "Bide if I plug id?"

"Hmm … what? Oh, sure, go ahead, I don't mind." _Yes! Please, for the love of Arceus, shut up!_

"Danks," Ocean said, plugging the earphones into the 'dex. He then put them into his ears and pushed a few buttons to access the radio function, and after a few seconds he began to bob his head up and down in time to inaudible music, leaning back comfortably against Skippers huge, broad tail.

Everyone else relaxed in the glorious silence. For about three seconds.

"Finally!" snapped the Pokemon sitting on Skipper's head. "I thought he'd never shut his trap! But my poor head …"

"Being thick-skulled comes in handy sometimes, then," Skipper teased.

She made a face. "Shut up."

Their trainer rubbed his aching temples with his wrists, one at a time, so as not to disturb the small Pokemon in his arms. She stirred and muttered something in her sleep, but quickly subsided in the soft, constant rhythm of Skipper's footfalls. Her rotund, dark gray body boasted four stubby legs; their pale silver color matched that of the protective metallic coating on her head and back. A single blunt spike protruded from her back as well. Normally her eyes would be large, blue, and subtly demanding; but now, as she slept, they were gently closed.

"I'm not sure how Emily could sleep through that," Skipper remarked, referring to the sleeping Aron. He winced as he pulled himself up a particularly steep section of the trail.

"I sure as hell wish I could," the gray-and-blue Pokemon on his head muttered darkly. She peered up at the mountain looming above them, tilting her spiked, blue-domed head to get a better view. Her red, hawk-like eyes narrowed from the glare of the bright sky, and she crossed her stubby arms impatiently. "Man, Skipper, you're so slow. Look, that Slowpoke over there is beating you."

Skipper glanced to his right. "Huh? What Slowpoke?"

She smirked. "Ha, psyche!" she crowed, elbowing him in the fin.

He made a face. "Aw, c'mon, Anni. I just came back, so cut me some slack."

"No chance of that, little bro. No chance."

"So who's little here?" the Swampert retorted.

"Say, Skipper," Roark cut in, shifting Emily's incredible weight to one arm, "speaking of Pokemon—"

"Who's speaking of Pokemon?"

"I am, of course."

"That," Anni cut in, "has to be the lamest. Excuse. _Ever._"

"I know. Anyway, Skipper, speaking of Pokemon, yesterday I heard you mention something … interesting." He felt the Swampert's muscles tense under him, and felt some satisfaction that he was getting somewhere with this. "You and Leaf were talking about somebody called Paris, and how there was 'no need to let Roark in on this'—"

"You did a great job of not letting on that you could hear me," Skipper commented hurriedly, letting out a nervous laugh. "And hiding your surprise that she could, too. Your eyes only bugged out a tiny bit, but I think the glasses hid that—"

"So I started wondering: who's Paris?"

"I think maybe only Brock noticed, but you can never tell with his eyes. If he has any. He's a funny guy, that Brock—"

"Who's Paris?"

"—His heart's in the right place, but he's a bit … what's the word again? High-strung, that's it. Takes everything far too seriously, except when there's a girl around—"

"Who's Paris?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

"Come on, just tell me. What, do you think I'll get mad or something?"

"No … yes … oh, I don't know!" The Swampert gritted his teeth, frustrated.

"Does it have something to do with the time when you were … er … gone?"

Silence.

"Really now, Skipper. If something bad happened that I need to know, you need to tell me. Please?"

Skipper lowered his head, uncomfortable. The movement involuntarily forced Anni to slide down his head. Caught by surprise, the Cranidos stopped her fall only just in time, grabbing at the front of his fins. She pulled herself back up, hissing in annoyance.

"Well," Skipper said slowly, seeming not to notice his sister's discomfort, "I don't know if I need to. You weren't completely honest with Brock and Leaf, after all—"

"That's not the same!" Roark snapped suddenly, bristling. "It's an ugly story. Horrific. Even if they'd wanted to hear it, and even if they _didn't_ completely freak out, they would never, _never_ understand." Despite the blistering heat, he shuddered.

"You'd never forgive him, then?"

He chuckled humorlessly. "You know the answer there."

Skipper almost nodded, but caught himself in time. "Like Anni and I will never forgive our own dad."

Anni clacked her beak in distaste. "Bastiodon? Bast_ard_on is more like it."

"Indeed. So all right, Roark, I'll tell you. Just don't be surprised if you find that you can't forgive _me_, either."

"What? What do you—?"

"Paris is my daughter."

The words dropped from his mouth almost of their own accord. They rolled heavily from his tongue, as if they were huge boulders to be used to seal his own grave. He continued to climb, feeling the rocky earth scratch his palms. He waited for their cries of horror, their accusations at his betrayal. Lowering his eyes meekly to the path he was traversing, he braced himself for their harsh words, and for Emily's inevitable bawling when their shouts woke her up …

"Your …" Roark began slowly. Then he drifted into silence. Skipper wished he wouldn't; he'd rather take a barrage of screaming and disowning than a cold, looming stillness.

But Anni was less subdued. "Your daughter? You run off into the middle of nowhere and have a _daughter_? Geez, Skipper. A daughter! Holy schist, do I _look_ old enough to be a fricking aunt? Don't answer that. A _daughter_! I never knew you had it in you, you lunkhead! For the love of fricking Mew! You go off and have a fricking _kid_ and come back and never tell us? What the hell? How could you _not_ tell us something like that, you retard?" She smacked him hard on the nose. "I've been a fricking aunt for who knows how damn long and I haven't even seen this sweet little lovechild of yours and you never breathed a fricking _word_ about the whole damn thing! Why the hell would you keep your big trap shut about it, you moron? Unless she's a Bidoof. Then I might understand. But I have a niece! That's so damn cute and creepy at the same time!" She squealed a very un-Anni-ish squeal.

Skipper frowned. He hadn't expected a response quite like _that_.

"Did you hear that, Roark? Our little Skipper, all grown up! A freaking _dad_! Because evolving again _obviously_ wasn't enough. Way to drop the bomb, little man. Ugh, you gave me a fricking heart attack, Skipper!"

Slowly, something began to dawn on him. "Wait … you're not mad?"

"Not mad? Of _course_ I'm mad, bucko! Mad that you didn't break the good news to us sooner! Geez."

His jaw dropped. "_Good_ news?"

"Well, _duh_."

"You're serious?" Roark whispered finally.

Skipper nodded.

"Ugh!" Anni snapped, nearly slipping off again. "You did it again, Skip! And right in the middle of my dramatic pose, too!"

"But …" he protested, faltering, "b-but I'm a father!"

"_Ob_viously." He couldn't see her expression, but he could tell that she was rolling her eyes. "That's what happens when a guy has a kid. It's not like we're going to think you're the fricking _mother_."

"I know," he said, blushing deep purple. "But I meant that … well … what if I become like … like _them_?"

"What are you … oh."

His words came out in a rush as he continued. "I mean, what if I ended up hurting her? Would I be really, really sad? Or would I just look the other way? It's hard to say, guys. Look at our examples. I don't want to turn into them." He cringed at the thought.

"But you love her," Roark reasoned softly. "You wouldn't _want_ to hurt her in the first place."

Skipper was silent, his brow creased in thought. That argument had never occurred to him.

Suddenly an arm was flung around his short, thick neck in a tight hug. "Oh, Skipper!" Roark sobbed, his face buried in a broad blue shoulder; the Swampert could feel his trainer's tears absorbed into his skin. "You're a _dad_! It's so amazing! You were a cute little guy just last month and now you have a cute little _girl_ and it's just _incredible_—"

"Really, Roark," Anni scoffed, cutting him off unceremoniously. "Look at you, blubbering twice in two days! And you call yourself a man!"

"Actually, he calls himself Roark."

The others groaned at the horrible comeback. Skipper grinned weakly at their response, and the grin turned into a grimace when Anni facefaulted and smashed her skull against his, but deep down he was elated. They still loved him, even though he was a father. And now, finally, he could fully trust himself to keep his daughter safe and sound.

Of course, he'd have to fetch her back first. But that was a given.

Ocean's voice wafted behind them. "Hey, gad you geeb id dowd? I'b drying do rogg oud do 'Besd of Both Worlds' here."

There was an awkward pause.

"Um," Anni finally said. "Ew. Ew, ew, ew. Throw him off, Skipper. _Now_."

Abruptly, an explosion shattered that conversation.

* * *

(LOL, you guys actually thought I'd kill off Cobalt so early. Silly readers. :P )


	13. Of Miners and Minesweepers: Part II

And part two of this chapter appears. It's a mad, mad, mad world.

Note to the more sensitive readers: the 9/11 references are meant to be funny. If you can't stand for that, don't be hating. :P

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: Of Miners and Minesweepers (The Ways to be a Hero! Joy for the Giggling Immortal Bomb!) – Part Two

Cobalt noticed something was amiss when he realized that he seemed to be the only human who could hear it; Phlash and Bulbasaur had paused to listen, but the mass of Rockets hadn't. Frowning slightly, he turned his attention toward the annoyingly cute laughter, attempting to pinpoint where it was coming from.

"Everybody's so happy!" the unseen creature giggled. "Happy, happy, happy! I like happy. Wheeeeee!"

The voice moved from the left to the right, before suddenly ascending high above the group, where she giggled happily, invisible. Cobalt felt an ominous feeling settle in his gut. The voice reminded him of a horror movie he had seen once, where a demonic thing had possessed a cheerful little girl and then proceeded to slaughter her parents, neighbors, and an annoying older kid who had teased her for wearing braces.

"Their aura's sooo pretty!" the voice chirped happily. "I like pretty. Pretty means happy. Happy means fun! And fun means games! Yay!"

The Rockets, who were quite unaware that their aura was pretty, had almost reached the excavation site. Cobalt forced himself to ignore the voice, concentrating instead on the sparkling silver portion of the Moon Stone that had already been unearthed. The one he had ransacked from the museum (still securely situated in the canvas bag that he had not let go of, even in "death") would be nothing compared to this marvel. The possibilities it would open up were endless; its potency was probably astounding. And by revealing its glory, he would cement his own. _Giggling voices have no place here,_ he told himself sternly. _Especially annoying ones. It's all just a figment of your imaginat—_

Something exploded some distance to their right, sending debris flying in all directions and shaking the ground beneath their feet. The Rockets abruptly paused, their voices suddenly silencing. The echoes of their cheers rang eerily through the stale air.

"I don't think we planned _that_ one," a grunt said helpfully, biting his lip.

Then Cobalt caught a glimpse of it: a bright pink Pokemon, darting playfully from boulder to boulder, far too fast for him to get a proper look at. Sadly, she seemed no worse for the wear from exploding just seconds before. She levitated a few feet above the air, sometimes rising and falling to the quick rhythm of her laughter. His eyes narrowed slightly as he considered her. Maybe she was worth something.

"Over there!" he exclaimed, pointing at her; but she had already moved along by the time he had finished his sentence. "That Pokemon! Look, it's—"

An even bigger explosion cut him off. This one was directly in front of the Rockets, knocking several off their feet. The majority toppled like dominoes, falling hard on each other, while others broke away from the group and ran in all directions, shrieking in panic. Cobalt fell hard onto the ground as his bearers collapsed beneath him. Cursing loudly, he climbed awkwardly to his feet, only to hit the floor again as a yowling grunt smashed into him.

"Fifteen minutes," he muttered, pulling himself up again and diving into the terrified sea of red and black. "Just fifteen minutes, and we could have saved so much on that blasted insurance…"

After several seconds of pushing and elbow-jabbing, he managed to clamber out of the swarming mass of grunts. Looking around, peering through the raining rocks and screeching Geodude which the blasts had dislodged, he saw the mysterious Pokemon begin to shimmer oddly, than release a brief flash of light. Several copies of herself suddenly appeared out of nowhere, all giggling and leaping around just as infuriatingly. Each then proceeded to explode at random intervals, creating looming clouds of dust that obscured any trace that the perpetrator was still there.

"Let's play Terrorist!" the original giggled, diving toward one of two large, somewhat tall structures on either side of the Moon Stone. The Clefairy surrounding it, realizing what she planned to do, squealed in alarm and darted away as fast as their fat pink bodies would allow. "The two Towers get destroyed first!"

"Yay!" the Double Team clones all cheered in unison.

Cobalt noticed a clone diving near him. Instinctively he ducked and rolled sharply to the side, narrowly avoiding being caught in another explosion. Pebbles rained on him a moment before he leapt to his feet. He started running toward the site, hoping to prevent too much damage, but a sudden thought stopped him in his tracks.

"Gina!" he cried out, swiveling around only to get knocked down by yet another fleeing grunt. Swearing darkly, he looked out at the mass of people, but failed to see any sign of his fellow admin. Jumping to his feet again, he pulled two Poke Balls off of his belt and aimed their beams of red light randomly through the swarm. The lights hit a pair of grunts, who yelped as they hit the ground, stunned. He swore again, trying to get a better glimpse of his Pokemon.

"We're coming, Weird Hair Guy!" Phlash's voice cheerfully wafted towards him, and a second later he saw her rushing towards him with a mouthful of indignant Bulbasaur. The freckled toad looked intensely annoyed, but so would anyone else who was getting dragged around by a psychotic weasel.

Nodding unconsciously to himself, Cobalt put the Poke Balls back. Glancing back up towards the mass of panicky people, he hesitated, wondering if he should stay and wait, or go and defend.

The shimmering light of the Moon Stone won him over.

Screams echoed about him as he dashed for the excavation site. Detonations blasted around him, creating ominous craters in the floor. He heard the sharp clacking of Phlash's small claws against the stone as she ran, and Bulbasaur's grunts of discomfort. As he neared the site, he watched the strange creature slam into one of the tall structures, blowing up upon impact. The bottom half exploded into a floating, dissipating cloud of dust, while the top flew halfway across the cavern, spinning wildly. Almost against his will, Cobalt whipped his head around to watch the awesome sight of a two-ton hunk of metal soaring through the air. It clipped Severus's head as it passed, and the greasy executive smashed against the floor, unconscious.

Cobalt would have grinned were it not for the fact that the creature had just destroyed the mechanism that kept the earthquake-making machine from working perpetually.

_Sentarpen gritted her teeth as another grunt died. "More __**Crushings**__, indeed."_

"_It's my turn!" Jirachi pouted. "Gimme those dice!"_

"_Say "please"," the cat-like Pokemon said softly._

"_I don't want to."_

_Sentarpen shrugged and passed her the dice._

The stone beneath their feet could never hope to conceal the sound of the blast far below. Squeaking in fear, Peach grabbed at Lightning's shoulder, eyes wide. Cheri's eyes narrowed even further, and she peered keenly at the trembling floor, keeping perfect balance. "Mmmph," she muttered to herself.

"Cheri," Leaf said slowly, looking down nervously, "what was th—?"

The next explosion was big enough to actually blast a hole through the floor, sending chunks of rock flying everywhere. Cheri was sent flying, and she flailed around in the air for a second before Leaf hastily recalled her. Several rocks smashed into the walls, sending down showers of pebbles that rained down heavily.

Lightning did what almost any other red-blooded Kantoan male would do: scream like a little girl.

"Shut up!" Leaf yelled over the thunder of falling stone. "Something's going wrong, guys, we need to get out of here!"

"No, really?" Lightning shot back, panicking. "I thought explosions only happened when something goes right! Way to be obvious, Leaf!"

Fire, being Fire, ignored them. He calmly tossed the Poke Ball at the Rhyhorn's head, and she, being frozen in shock from the explosion and her horrific wound, never saw it coming. It sucked her in easily, landing gently on the floor with a soft clack. Fire no longer had a Pokemon to sit on, however, and landed with a loud thud and a curse. But the Ball snapped shut, and three seconds passed – drawn out infinitely long by the tension in the room – before it _dinged_ cheerfully.

"There," he said shortly, picking it up as he got to his feet. "I finally bagged this savage thing. No thanks to you losers."

Leaf's retort was cut off by another explosion. No hole appeared in the floor this time, but a few of the cracks suddenly widened considerably.

"Everything's so loud, Mommy!" Paris observed cheerfully, still floating several yards above the scene. "It's like a giant's come to play! Do you think he likes tea, Mommy?"

"Paris!" Leaf hurriedly aimed the Poke Ball at the Lapras, but she was twisting around on her floating heart, causing the red beam to miss. Glancing at the ominous floor over which Paris glided, Leaf cringed when she realized that she'd have to traverse the treacherous ground. Glancing at the far side of the cave, she analyzed the tunnel there, the one that could take them back down and out of the mountain. The floor seemed relatively stable over there, but the thought of going over there on foot was terrifying. Still, she knew that would be what it took to get them out of the cavern, before it turned into a death trap of cascading boulders.

"What're you doing?" Lightning exclaimed in shock as she suddenly darted over the cracking ground. He and Peach gasped in unison as a small, jagged section of the floor suddenly gave way the moment she had taken her foot off it.

"Getting out! Both of you'll have to, too," she shouted over the cacophony of clacking stone, aiming this last remark at Fire as well. She moved quickly but carefully, aiming every footfall for a spot that didn't look like it could cave at any moment. Closing in toward the spot that was beneath Paris, she aimed the Poke Ball upwards, but missed as the young sea serpent, giggling delightedly, swerved around on her magical pink hovercraft. The trainer was at a closer range than before, however, and when she aimed again, the beam of red light hit the Lapras dead on, sucking her into the Ball easily. The heart, no longer having a rider, vanished in a puff of pink smoke.

Lightning shook his head in disbelief. "You're crazy!"

"So are you," Fire sneered. "But she's right. It's not in my best interest to just sit here while I can still get out alive."

Saying this, he turned and followed Leaf's lead, sprinting over the floor. Peach nudged Lightning, pointing towards the opposite side and then giving him an injured look.

"Yeah," the blond boy muttered, seeing what she was getting at. "I can't really let you get hurt just because I'm scared, can I?" Taking a deep breath, he tensed himself, then began to bolt in the direction of safety.

But, of course, they couldn't expect that it would be that easy. The floor beneath them suddenly jolted into a frenzied shaking, causing them to stumble in imbalance and alarm. The jagged cracks were definitely wider now, as dislodged boulders pounded holes in the stone. With an almighty leap, Leaf threw herself towards her goal, flying through the air for a moment before hitting the refreshingly solid floor of the tunnel, bruised but safe. Groaning, she picked herself up from the cold stone, rubbing her sore arm. She turned and was startled to see Fire's Drowzee waddling drunkenly into the tunnel, evident relief on his piggish face.

"Master is having a problem," he commented nasally, turning to watch the boys traverse the makeshift minefield. He cringed as another blast blew a hole right in the spot where Lightning was about to put his foot, and the blonde managed to avoid it only just in time, hastily twisting his foot towards a different spot.

Leaf patted his oily head absentmindedly, but immediately regretted it. Disgusted, she wiped her hand on the rocky tunnel wall, feeling it shake wildly all around her. "I know," she said a bit sharply, disguising her fear as anger. "If they don't survive this, I swear I'm going to kill them."

"Is that not redundant?" Drowzee asked stupidly, looking up at her over his long, suggestive nose.

The girl ignored him, keeping her full attention on the others. Fire had started the dangerous trek first, but the earthquake had forced them to drop to their knees and crawl at a ridiculously slow pace, and Lightning seemed to be the slightly faster crawler. He easily passed Fire, and the brunette scowled darkly at the smaller boy when he realized he would be beaten.

"Gosh!" Lightning gasped as he finally reached Leaf, collapsing on the tunnel floor. "Never again! That was the worst—"

_BarrrRRRROOM!_

The hugest blast yet had them scrabbling to find a firm hold on the tunnel walls, grabbing at its rough, uneven sides. Clenching their teeth, they turned their heads to watch the entire floor behind them explode upwards, shimmering in the glowing silver light. The shack flew up with it, breaking up into single planks that twisted effortlessly through the air with the shattered stones. Then a figure rushed through the air towards them, and they gasped to see that it was Fire, flailing wildly through the air. For the first time in her entire life, Leaf saw panic distort his features, sweeping his façade of unemotional disinterest into some dark corner. Her eyes widened when she realized that he wouldn't make it. He would fall close to them, she predicted, but they would be unable to grab him and keep him from falling down, down, down, into a hellish ruin below—

An image flashed before her eyes: she sat in the McDonald's with Lightning and Brock only the other day, listening to their words in curiosity. The normality of the scene seemed to be a world apart from the nightmare she was trapped in now. She remembered the tenseness in their eyes (at least Lightning's, anyway) when they had related her narrow escape, and how they still seemed relieved that Fire had saved her from a horrific death …

"Drowzee, Hidden Power!" she heard herself yell. She pushed herself from the trembling tunnel wall, throwing herself to the floor and gasping at the jarring vibration. Pain lanced through her body as she slid towards the edge, ignoring Lightning's shocked protest. Distantly, in the corner of her brain that had retained rationality, she hoped that Drowzee had the sense to listen to her.

Luckily he had. She saw the bright silver light arc over her, easily reaching the edge of the tunnel before she did. It formed into a long, shining, flat surface, which attached to the edge and extended a good ways over the terrifying nothingness below, As she moved onto it, the change was immediate, for the surface did not shudder as the rest of the mountain was. Suddenly her head felt clearer in the sudden, relative stillness. The rim of the surface flew towards her at an alarming rate, and she put her hands before her to slow herself. She skidded to a halt just in time, and she saw Fire fall swiftly towards her, fear shining in his eyes. Knowing she would only have one chance, she hooked her legs around the surface to secure herself and extended her hands outwards.

"REACH!" she yelled over the cacophony of the disaster.

Half a second later she had grabbed his outstretched arms, feeling his weight pull at her, straining the hold on her legs. Beads of sweat popped up along her brow, and she gritted her teeth as she heaved him upwards, knowing that only air separated him from the distant stone floor far, far below. Her muscles screamed in protest, and every portion of her body shrieked in agony, but she refused to relieve them by letting go. Jagged bolts of pain stabbed through her back as she dragged Fire, inch by excruciating inch, upwards towards her. She could barely tell how long it had taken – for a moment it seemed that nothing had ever existed but this – but suddenly he was there, kneeling in front of her. She realized that she was sitting, but she couldn't remember pulling herself into that position. The ragged gasps of breathing seemed to tear at her throat. It was impossible to tell who was trembling harder.

"You saved me?" he whispered. His eyes were still wide, but now the fear was fading from them, to be replaced with wonder, gratefulness, and curiosity – more emotions that she had never seen there before.

Her head swam as she blearily peered at him. Rubble rained down around them, and she swayed slightly to the side as one whistled past her. He caught her before she could lean too far. Darkness started to close in around her, and her eyes fluttered in exhaustion.

"Well, you saved me first," she replied weakly.

Then she fainted.

"_Yay!" Jirachi squealed happily. "That didn't take much effort! Now I can—"_

"_Like, no way, man," cut in a large, floating blue Pokemon, brandishing tough-looking arms which boasted sharp claws. With its broad, disc-like body and piercing red eyes, it probably would have looked intimidating if not for the stupid-looking spike on its face that passed for its nose. "It's, like, my turn. Your guys are, like, totally crusin' at the moment. But my dudes need to, like, not get totally wiped out, y'know?"_

"_But—"_

"_Give it the dice, Jirachi," Sentarpen said, not taking her eyes off the shifting scenes in the Game._

"_Oh,_ fine,_" Jirachi muttered, pouting as she passed the Metang spirit the dice._

"_Y'know, they chose their Chosen One pretty well," Secloven muttered sideways to his sister, eyes narrowing slightly in the light of the Game. "A lot of proud noobs would just let their hugely annoying rival fall. That'd be satisfying to them, and they wouldn't really be bothered, since they're so callous and stuff."_

_The huge black cat nodded in response, and her curved fangs glittered as she smiled. "I know. This one seems to have just a bit more to her. But she's still a bit dull, in my opinion."_

"_Yeah. She'll blow her top when she hears what Lady Arceus has planned for her, though." He laughed softly. "That's a benefit to sticking with whatever side is winning. If we don't want Feisty to trap us with their plan, we should help these kids on their quest, or something. Be guardian angels and all that crap, y'know?"_

"_Of course. But we cannot make things _too _easy for them, can we?" she said slyly, winking at him._

_He caught the look and grinned mischievously. "I like the way you think."_

There is a man in Sinnoh who claims that prolonged exposure to the type a gym leader specializes in can, over time, breed a certain sort of empathy between him or her and Pokemon of that type. The man goes on to say that it has something to do with the gym leader's aura getting attuned to the type, allowing him or her to better understand how those Pokemon feel or intend. The theory is an interesting one, but as the man currently wanders homeless in the abandoned mine of Iron Island, with no one but his mystical blindfolded jackal for company, the theory's overall stability is naturally questionable. It does, however, explain how Brock was able to sense Tyran's outrage in spite of the fact that the gym leader, at the time, had been hanging out in the back room behind the gym, rocking out to heavy metal with the volume cranked up full blast.

It also explains why, when the muffled explosions abruptly blasted from within the mountain ahead, Roark suddenly gasped and clutched at Skipper's shoulder with his free hand. Anni merely gave him a sideways look and asked, "What's with you?"

"Well," he said, recovering a bit from his shock, "I felt a sort of disturbance in the ... in the Force, you might say. As if a hundred Geodude cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."

The dinosaur scoffed at him. "Way to be, Obi-Wan. You think they've been flung into orbit, then?"

He shrugged, returning Emily to her Poke Ball before she could stir. "I dunno. Skipper, keep a firm hold on the ground while you climb, 'kay? Those explosions could trigger more earthquakes."

Skipper, grabbing at the earth more tightly, continued to pull himself up. "I got it."

Ocean pulled the headphones out of his ears, frowning. "Did I biss sobeting?"

"No. Just a potential bombing up in the mountain, that's all. And we're going in there to investigate."

"Whad?" Ocean gasped. "Are you grazy? I dod'dt wadt do go ub dere! I'll ged gilled for sure …"

"Oh, just trust your feelings, young Jedi," Anni commented, stretching lazily. "Do that, and the Force'll be with you."

Roark gave her a look. "Okay, I think you're taking this analogy too far."

"Whad?"

"Nothing. Anyway, you have to come with us. I promised Jenny I'd watch you, and that's not easy when you're sitting safe inside the nearest Pokemon Center while I'm battling it out with terrorists. Or suicide cults, or whatever."

At this point they had reached the Pokemon Center in question, and Skipper paused for a moment, catching his breath. The mountain loomed above them as only a mountain can, frowning as the ominous vibrations of each blast rumbled forth from it. They masked the roar of the rushing Moon River nearby.

"Bud you dod'dt habe do baddle id oud," Ocean protested. He looked toward the Center, where he saw several terrified faces pressed against the windows. He grinned and ran a hand through his spiky hair when he noticed a couple of girls giggling, but the grin slid off his face when he realized they hadn't even noticed he was there.

"Well, technically I do," the other explained, trying his best to keep his patience and ignore the rabid fangirls. "It's a gym leader's responsibility to make sure the area's safe. Since Brock's been too busy to investigate, it's up to me to do that, even if I'm not really a gym leader anymore. You know, since I have authority and experience." He let himself smirk with pride for a moment. Then he frowned as a thought occurred to him. "Although … I wonder why Misty hasn't looked into this. Mount Moon is in her domain too, after all."

"That's a good point," Skipper commented, nodding thoughtfully. "She should've investigated the quakes in the first place, I think—"

"DAMMIT, SKIPPER!" Anni roared as she tumbled off his head, landing face-first on the ground. "I TOLD YOU TWICE ALREADY TO STOP DOING THAT! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE BUTT OF ALL THE JOKES CAUSED BY YOUR IDIOCY?"

The Swampert cringed. "Sorry," he said meekly.

"SORRY? THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAY?" She leapt to her feet angrily, spitting out a mouthful of dirt. "I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S GOING TO BE SORRY, YOU LITTLE—"

"Save it for later, Anni," Roark chided, sliding a little awkwardly off of Skipper's back. "We need to check this thing out. Ocean, get off Skipper's back, he can't protect us when we're in there if we're sitting on him."

Ocean gave him a guarded look. "Prodegd us frob whad?"

"Nothing you need to worry about. At least, not if you're wearing a helmet."

"Fabulous," the younger boy muttered, taking a deep breath before jumping off, landing almost gracefully next to his companion. "Jusd dod't be surbrised if I rud off whed de whole blace gabes id, all righd?"

"Like I said, Skipper'll protect us."

Skipper rolled his orange eyes as they started toward the yawning entrance. "You wouldn't get three paces anyway, buddy." A faint, barely perceptible vibration began move the ground beneath them, ever so slightly, but his broad paws were also quite sensitive. "Hmm. Seems like there's a bit of disturbance—"

"In the Force!" Anni intoned mystically, before she snickered in satisfaction.

Roark groaned, facepalming. Ocean gave him a "one of us is crazy and I don't think it's me" look.

Then, suddenly and quite inconveniently, the earth began to rock violently beneath them, sending them all tripping and falling in various directions, trying and failing to regain their balance. Hitting the tough ground, Skipper gritted his teeth as he slowly, unsteadily, pulled himself to a standing position. The others' yells were drowned out by the deep rumbling of the massive earthquake, but a loud clattering sound still reached him. As he looked up at the shaking mountain above, he was horrified to see a barrage of dislodged boulders begin to slide down its rocky sides, gathering speed as they tumbled. It was obvious that the rock slide would crush them if they couldn't get into the tunnel in time.

Grunting in concentration, he summoned the familiar waves around his arms, letting them circle for a moment to gather speed and momentum before letting them fall to the ground in a powerful rush. The water rushed around himself and his friends, picking them up in the artificial flood; somehow, even without looking, he could _feel_ his Whirlpool bearing them, the water seeming to mute the vibrations of the rumbling. He then focused on the mouth of the tunnel, silently willing his waves to bring them there, and they obeyed his unheard call. They roared almost eagerly, rushing towards the dark threshold of safety, pounding roughly against the shaking earth.

Then they were through.

And not a moment too soon. As the welcomingly cool shadow was suddenly thrown over them, Skipper heard an ominous, thunderous splash sound behind them, and the sunlight which streamed through the yawning entrance abruptly ceased, throwing them into darkness. They floated there in the water, hearing rather than feeling the shaking of the mountain around them. The humans' teeth chattered audibly from the sudden drop in temperature. The Whirlpool remained beneath them, carrying them calmly down the shaking tunnel. It soon split in two, and, gravity being what it was, they floated serenely downward through the tunnel on the right.

A splash broke the almost calm eeriness. "I'b-b s-so g-g-gold!" Ocean wailed nasally.

Skipper heard Roark gasp. "Wha—? Oh. Okay, then, that's good to know. Just one thing."

"Whad-d?"

"STOP HUGGING ME!"

"Oh, s-s-sorry."

There was a brief pause.

"Well," Anni said finally, "this is awkward."

"_Like whoa, man," the Metang breathed in awe. "Those dudes are, like, surfing! That was so, like, totally rad! I'm, like, in awe of their mad skills, man!"_

"_That is fine," Sentarpen said patiently. "But if you don't mind, I would like the dice now." She reached out with a black paw, giving him a knowing look._

_The metallic Pokemon looked crestfallen. "Aw, man. But I was, like, cruising! Like my guys were with those wicked waves, man!"_

"_Like, I know, man," Secloven put in, before he could stop himself. Several of the surrounding Pokemon spirits snickered appreciatively._

_Sentarpen gave him a look. He grinned weakly in response as she took the dice._

The sudden earthquake sent Cobalt tripping and falling face-first to the ground. Cursing, he tried fruitlessly to pick himself up from the rocking floor, and in the end simply tossed his bag over his shoulder and started to crawl awkwardly towards the glimmering Moon Stone. He moved slowly over the uneven, violently shaking ground. His pulse quickened as the remaining distance was slowly but steadily swallowed up; it was only a few yards away, tantalizingly just out of reach. _Almost there—_

"Wheeeeee!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he howled, eyes narrowed in fury as he watched the strange pink Pokemon dive at the Massive Moon Stone with impossible speed. She hit it with incredible force, and the resulting explosion sent him sprawling flat on the floor again. Hearing boulders thud ominously around him, he covered his head with his arms. The rocky ground was rougher here, and the jagged stone scraped his hands, knees, and face. He trembled as tears of rage streaked down his dusty cheeks, stinging as they rolled over his bleeding cuts. An uninterpretable hiss whistled through his clenched teeth. A few small shards of rock bounced painfully against his body, but none that would do any real damage. He barely felt them anyway; his shoulders were shaking with his ragged breaths. _I've failed him,_ he thought miserably, picturing the disappointed look on the Boss's face when he arrived empty-handed. The letdown was more than he could bear.

"Oh!" He heard Bulbasaur suddenly cry out in surprise, followed by a startled squeal of delight that could only have come from Phlash. He ignored them. There was no point anymore.

"Why are you sad?" a voice directly in front of him asked. "People shouldn't be sad, they should be happy! Don't you like our game?"

His fingers clawed at the ground in fury as he recognized the voice's owner: it was the mysterious pink Pokemon, come to add insult to injury. She had destroyed his glorious dream, and now she wanted him to be happy about it. His lips tighted angrily as he started to push himself back to his feet, fully prepared to give her a taste of his pain.

Then he actually saw her. His eyes widened in incredulity, and his sting of his crushing failure was obliterated by complete and total shock. This had to be some huge practical joke, he knew. It was too much, on top of everything else.

"It's _her_!" Bulbasaur hissed excitedly behind him. He didn't turn around to acknowledge her confirmation. He couldn't even hear her. There was only astonishment and and wonder in his mind as he stared at the creature before him.

_It was Mew!_

He had never seen her before, of course, but there was no mistaking her. The cat-like Pokemon was small and skinny, and her seemingly fragile body, levitating serenely in the air hardly two feet above him, was covered in fine pink hair. Her long, rabbit-like feet and lengthy tail sharply contrasted with her short, stubby arms. A pair of triangle-shaped ears graced her feline head, and her baby-blue eyes locked his deep green ones in a gaze that seemed to pierce through to his soul. His breath caught as she cocked her head to the side curiously.

"Don't be mad," she said kindly, lowering herself until her face floated just above his. "Being mad never helped anybody. It feels better to have fun!"

He felt like he was drowning in those eyes. A pleasant fuzziness was starting to creep over him. He frowned slightly, his brow creasing in thought. Why did he want to hurt her again?

She batted her eyes at him, giggling. "There, you're not mad anymore! Your aura's so much prettier now!" A stray, microscopic pink eyelash fluttered down invisibly and landed in a bleeding gash on his outstretched palm, but neither of them noticed. "But this game is almost over anyway. I'm going to win again, isn't it great?" She giggled once more.

He felt himself smiling back; her good mood was infectious. All thoughts of the Gina, Severus, the Rockets, and everything else were gone, and there was only a cheerful, buoyant happiness. He could barely feel the violent shaking beneath him.

A Double Team clone corkscrewed through the air nearby, laughing cutely. "Yay! We blew the Pentagon up!" she cheered happily, soaring above him before exploding against the other structure, which, conveniently, was the mechanism that caused the earthquakes. Abruptly the rocking ceased, and though rocks still rained down upon the excavation failure, there was suddenly an underlying sense of an almost eerie calmness.

It was the clone's shadow, throwing the floor before him into temporary darkness, that made him frown again. The shadow reminded him of another shadow on a night long ago, although that one had blocked the moonlight, its owner diving towards him as he shivered, half-dead, in the snow … the wonder that had filled his eyes, the smile that had formed on his blue lips, before he had passed out … the time he had seen _it_.

That made him snap out of it.

"Get over here, you little—" he snarled, abruptly leaping to his feet, but Mew easily floated away from his grasping hands. His bleeding cuts started to throb faintly, but he ignored them. They could be dealt with later.

"Silly boy, tricks are for kids!" she giggled, somersaulting through the air before soaring away towards the very center of the cave. Her clones giggled with her before all exploding in unison, and their self-destruction was very gratifying.

"Ooh, I love Trix!" Phlash commented. From the sound of her voice, she seemed to be drooling.

Cobalt turned his head, following her with his eyes. Nearly all the Rockets were stampeding this way by now, not seeming to notice that Mew was floating over them. He released a pent-up, disgruntled sigh, knowing he would have no chance to catch her. Looking back ahead of him, he saw the silvery shards of the Stone scattered sadly. It was a sorry sight, but the gears in his mind began to turn as he regarded them.

"What are you doing, you idiot?" Bulbasaur hollered as the admin suddenly darted nimbly toward the ruined site, reaching the fragments of Stone in just a matter of seconds. Scowling darkly, she unsteadily began to follow him, taking slow, careful steps.

"Using my brain!" he yelled back over the noise of the clones' continued detonations.

"Well, _that's_ news to me!"

"Weird Hair Guy, you forgot your bag!" Phlash exclaimed rabidly. She leapt down, grabbed the neglected sack with her pointed fangs, and rushed towards him in a streak of grease-colored lightning. Within half a second she had reached him, wagging her tail eagerly as she drooled.

"Er … thanks," he said, taking the slobbery sack from her maw. She instantly zipped back to fetch Bulbasaur, who already knew what was coming and consequently looked disgusted. Knowing he didn't need to worry about them, he leaned down and grabbed piece after shattered piece of Moon Stone, tossing them one after another into his bag. The Rockets should at least have something to show for this disaster, and he'd be the one to save the day.

"Cobalt, let's go!"

"Wha—?" He swiveled around, and the word died half-finished in his throat. Galloping up behind him was Gina, riding cowgirl-style on Tartar, who chewed on a Poffin happily. Most of the grunts were swarming behind her, eagerly pushing at each other in their haste to escape. He glanced from the huge, testosterone-packed bull, to his rider. She nodded to him, as if reading his thoughts. Or maybe that was just the motion of the wild galloping, it was impossible to say. Tensing himself, he took the bag in his teeth (wincing at its unexpected weight) and waited until Tartar was almost on top of him; being stupid, the idea that he could simply turn and pass the unmoving admin never occurred to the hairy Pokemon.

Then, ignoring the pain lancing throughout his body, Cobalt grabbed at the lethally sharp horns protruding from the bull's head, pulling himself into a sharp somersault and suddenly landing deftly on Tartar's shoulders. The bull snorted in surprise, but Gina, who seemed unfazed by Cobalt's flip, hastily shoved another Poffin into the Pokemon's mouth, and he accepted it happily with a contented "Umm".

"Way to take a bull by the horns, Cobalt!" Gina yelled, grinning at him. He merely groaned in response, taking the canvas bag out of his teeth.

Suddenly Phlash jumped up into his lap, holding Bulbasaur in her mouth. "You got the shiny stuff?" she asked, spitting the disgruntled dinosaur out and wagging her slobber-coated tongue around.

A sudden "WHEEEEEEEEEEE!" cut off his reply. He swiveled around, hoping to Arceus that _Mew_ wasn't going to jump in his lap as well. Exploding would be too much, even for him. Luckily, she was nowhere near him.

That was the good part. The bad part was that she hit the center of the huge cavern half a second later, creating an explosion that would put all the other ones to shame, and then immediately winked out, vanishing for good. Cobalt gritted his teeth against the jarring shock wave that burst past them, but that was the least of their problems. There was a great rush of dusty wind that had suddenly picked them up and flung them through the air, and they were flying ungracefully through the air, grunts squealing and pinwheeling, Tartar snorting and pawing uneasily. The wigged admin gripped the Tauros's horns tightly, watching the floor fly under them with incredible speed. The hairs on his wig whipped wildly about, smacking at his face annoyingly.

A deep, ominous rumbling above them caused him to glance up, and his face turned chalk-white when he realized that the force of the latest blast was making the ceiling collapse. His breath caught in his throat as he saw the distant rocks above beginning to fall slowly but steadily closer, growing larger as they neared. _Please hurry,_ he thought to nobody in particular. _Please, please, please, just let us live..._

Of course, the amusing thing about people who worry is that they tend to miss things. In this case, Cobalt missed out on enjoying the ride. There are very few people who can honestly claim that they have ridden a flying cow.

He also missed the point where Tartar hit the ground running, snorting excitedly as he swallowed up the remaining yards to the tunnel that could lead them out. The admin only realized the situation when a sickening series of groans and thuds jerked him out of his prayerful reverie: the grunts, it seemed, were not nearly as shock-absorbent as the powerfully-muscled bull. Cobalt bit his lip, almost in sympathy, as he watched a grunt land hard on her arm, crying out hard as the horrific _snap_ sliced at the air.

In spite of himself, he shuddered and turned away, just as the shadow of safety passed over them, and they were through. Skidding to a halt, Tartar lowered his head and panted hard, his tongue lolling. A few of the grunts, who had miraculously managed to get up in spite of the pain of whatever unfortunate body part they had broken, were sprinting desperately towards them. Reaching the tunnel at last, they sucked in huge gulps of air, massaging their aching sides and wincing as they rubbed their blistered feet.

Then an incredible barrage of stone hit the cavern floor. There was nothing quite like it, Cobalt decided, as he watched the avalanche of hundreds of tons of stone falling like hail, shattering as if they were glass and tossing into the air an incredible fog of dust. First a city, then a mountain, both thrown into unbelievable chaos and destruction. The entire mountain shook with the massive force of the boulders' impact. He shook his head in disbelief; there seemed to be no end to it.

"Those poor grunts," Gina whispered behind him, horror and sadness coloring her voice.

He nodded vaguely in response. The grunts' loss didn't bother him too much, although Gina seemed to feel differently. He would never understand what she saw in grunts. They looked like people, but they were just mindless tools. Occasionally a few would pop up with brains, but those were promoted to junior admin anyway. He would know, after all.

All the same, he reached back and patted her hand soothingly. He'd want comfort, too, if he had a stupid pet that was crushed ruthlessly for the sake of fun. Unless that pet was Bulbasaur. Then he might make an exception.

A flash of movement caught his eye. Squinting, he peered through the thick cloud of dust and flying debris that obscured his view. "Do you see something, way over there?" he asked Gina, pointing. He knew that girls had a better eye for details, even though he was more awesome than them.

She scrutinized the scene, looking for whatever he had seen. "Oh, yeah! Some sort of green flash, where Severus is! There's a hulking blue thing Protecting him, I think."

"He's not dead?"

"Yeah. There's a couple of guys standing in the far tunnel. It's hard to tell, but it _looks_ like one of them has a stop sign on his head. And it _so_ doesn't go with what he's wearing. I think the blue thing's theirs."

"Bastards. Why couldn't they let him die?"

"I know! They're not Rockets, so they're going to take him into custody, which Daddy says is even worse. Isn't that horrible, Cobalt?"

He gave her a long, searching look until she finally tore her eyes away from the scene, looking back at him. "To be honest, I don't care," he remarked, parroting the greasy executive's earlier words. "He had it coming to him." He smiled triumphantly.

She nodded in response. Then, with a soft word to the bull Pokemon, she turned Tartar around, leading the grunts down the long, winding tunnel, as the cacophony of falling rocks echoed darkly around them.

* * *

Y'know, I still don't know why I made the Mount Moon arc so long. But you know what? It doesn't matter. Because the Cerulean arc is much, much longer. :/ But very dramatic all the same. :D


	14. True Colors: Part I

Oh, the Cerulean arc: a tale-within-a-tale, rife with heartbreak, laughter, and lotsa spaghetti ... I mean, drama. What, can't they be the same thing?

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: True Colors (Welcome to Cerulean! The Dazzling Team Waterflower!) – Part One

_I. And behold, I didst find myself in the darkness of the holy pit again. And the darkness was like unto the night thereof, which is black, and yet revealing all at once._

"This isn't a pit ... Mom! It's that annoying prophet again!"

_II. And I didst hear a voice come from the darkness thereof, and it was bold like unto a bronze—_

"You said that before. Repetition is frowned on, you know."

"Oh, did I? Forgive me, I must have forgotten. If I may—"

A miserable wail interrupted him, filled with some sort of sorrow that made the hairs on Bart's neck stand on end, all five thousand, four hundred and eighty-three of them. There had been more, of course, but a great chunk of them had been burned off when a raging villager had thrown a torch at his head and missed slightly. The savages. They didn't know wisdom when they heard it.

Surprised at the sound, the Absol paused in his writing and listened harder. "Did you hear something?"

There was a long moment of silence. Then, finally, the bronze-voiced Pokemon gasped in some sort of revelation. "Oh, you can't see, can you? Sorry, I nodded there. Here, let me get some light to help you see..."

"Thank you," he said gratefully as she shuffled off somewhere.

_III. And behold, a cry didst spiral out from the darkness, a very woeful cry such as that which a little child uttereth if he hath mistakenly killed his pet rock. And I didst pause to listen for a good while, which canst not be well depicted here, for ellipses are not recommended for use in prophecy._

_IV. For it hath been said in ancient times by the wise prophet Fitzgerald, who didst cry unto the Coronites to repent straightway, before they stoned him to death before a class of children to contribute to unnerving educational experience,_

_V. That to hesitate is to err, and to stutter is to admit folly; therein lies truth, but the truth lies not. Thus, all must refrain from the use of ellipses, for to do otherwise wouldst surely cause our feeble wills to drag us into the depths of hell._

"Not anymore," Fystor's voice said, returning. "Hell's getting too full for common idiots, and managing everyone in there drives Giratina up the wall, the poor thing. Ah, here we go..."

A sudden light flared up in the cave, and the prophet squinted at its brightness. As his eyes slowly parted, adjusting gradually to the light, he looked about him in awe and wonder. He had been completely wrong in his original analysis of the place; it wasn't a cave at all. It simply a vast expanse of a diamond-like substance that stretched out from his paws and endlessly onward in all directions, a surreal psuedo-world sparkling in the enigmatic blue-green light shimmering in Fystor's clawed hand. No walls or ceiling contained the shining plain: only the pitch-black sky arced above them, an infinitely deep dome of darkness littered with huge, brightly twinkling stars.

Then he lowered his gaze, seeing a being standing several yards in front of him. It was quite an enormous being, probably capable of crushing him just by stepping on him, but all other details were concealed in the dazzling light surrounding it. The light, blazing with an incredibly pure silver color, was so painfully bright that he wondered for a moment why he hadn't seen it earlier. _Probably because I'm not legendary,_ he decided finally.

"Are we on the moon?" he whispered shyly to Fystor, curiously examining her as he spoke.

The eagle-like Pokemon rolled her eyes. "Don't be moronic. If we were on the moon, we'd be floating around in one-sixth/gee while suffocating to death in negative one-hundred twenty-three degree conditions. Besides, you wouldn't be hearing anything, as there are no molecules in the vaccuum for the sound waves to vibrate."

"...What's a 'gee'?"

She facepalmed. "You don't know anything, do you? And why are you staring at me that way?"

"Well ... I always imagined you as being taller," he confessed, looking down at her.

A scowl twisted her beak into a peculiar expression. "I'm a god," she retorted. "Gods don't have to be tall."

"But doesn't height add to your ... you know ... mysticism?" he asked, feeling a bit proud that he had found an apt word.

"Who needs mysticism when you have power?"

"..." Bart replied eloquently, returning his gaze toward the strange glowing being. The sheer luminosity of the light was not simply a mere glow; it was pure, unrestrained love from the depths of the being's soul: he could feel it, tearing at his heart, summoning stinging tears into his eyes. Now that he was paying proper attention, he could see that there was a smaller being there as well, floating level with the taller Pokemon's face. This second creature shone just as painfully bright, but her emerald green light radiated not only love, but a deep, despairing ache that clawed at the very center of Bart's soul; mingling with it were feelings of embarrassment, discouragement, and fear that were less prominent, but no less intense. It was impossible to tell using mere sight, but somehow Bart could tell that the silver creature was nuzzling the green one comfortingly, crooning softly as she sobbed miserably.

He could almost feel his heart break in a separate sadness of his own, as he longed so much to be part of that deep, compassionate mercy. The prophets had always spoken of the legendaries as omnipotent beings of quick temper and quicker judgment, but they had hardly mentioned anything about the great mercy and compassion that seemed not only a part of them: it _was_ them, as defining as the fact that he was an Absol, and that none of it would, or could, ever change.

His eyes continued to water as his head began to ache from the intensity and overwhelming absorption of emotions. Then, dimly, he noticed that his tears were beginning to take on a color that looked very off. Distantly he sensed that something was wrong, but he couldn't be bothered to shut off the flood of emotions pouring through him.

The sound of Fystor's voice faintly reached him. "I hope you're not looking at them, you know. They're halfway in their true divine forms, which would mean that if any mortal were looking at them, his brain would start to melt right around now ... oh wait. Whoops."

He knew that those words probably meant something, but he couldn't react in any way until something smacked into his head with astonishing force, sending him smashing facefirst into the shimmery, diamond-like substance beneath him. He uttered a shocked _oof!_ as the wind was knocked out of him, as he collided painfully into the smooth, cold floor. An agonized sob tore itself from his throat. Away from that great power and love, he felt overwhelmingly alone, exposed and vulnerable. If not for his shock and the ominous _drip, drip, drip_ of tears and melted brain falling to the floor beneath him, he would have looked up again immediately. His aching head pulsed horribly, and he groaned.

"Mom, I _told_ you that you shouldn't summon him if you weren't going to phase back!" he heard Fystor say. "If we really need him, it's probably not because we want his brain to start gushing out his ears!"

The silver-voiced being said something in an unearthly, melodious language that instantly soothed Bart's troubled soul, and his hitched breathing slowed into a more natural rhythm. He could feel her love in the strange words, not drowning him in their depths as before, but merely carrying him along on a gentle current, floating and buoyant. His tear-stained face stretched into a smile as he rested his chin on the floor, exhausted. Blearily he noted that there was a bright pink flower laying just a few yards in front of him, looking as though it had been callously discarded, which pretty much matched the way he had just felt a minute ago.

"That's nice, Mom, but we need to work with something here," Fystor said unconcernedly. "Appy seems to have gotten enough strength for a 'hunt' on Cinnabar. And we don't want _that_, do we?"

The being said something unrecognizable in reply.

"Well, so-_rry_. I just figured that, cruel as it sounds, saving the world is _probably_ more important than boosting Minnie's ego—"

A horrific roar cut her off, bespeaking of unimaginable power. Bart yelped and flung his arms over his head, and he lay cringing in the blast of noise.

"I am not!" Fystor yelled indignantly over the deafening noise. "I'm only trying to talk sense, is that so wrong—?"

The roar got even louder.

"OKAY!" the eagle Pokemon shrilled. "OKAY, FINE, I WILL! IF IT MAKES EVERYBODY HAPPY! NOW CALM DOWN BEOFRE THIS PROPHET HERE GETS AN ULCER!"

Abruptly the roar dived down in volume to a deep rumble, before returning to the tenor croon it had first used to comfort the green being. The latter had subsided slightly, seeming rather unperturbed by this exchange, and was sniffling heartily.

A shadow fell over Bart. Looking up, he saw Fystor standing over him, scowling darkly. She didn't look very tall even from this perspective.

"I need to go," she muttered, half to herself.

"Why?" he asked stupidly.

"To question Uxie. There's some information we'll need from him, since things are moving a lot faster than we thought. And after _that_ I need to keep an eye on the girl, and contact her when the time's right. I _wanted_ us to go and stop Apolydon right _now_, before he gets stronger, which would be the smart course of action. But Mom says that's 'not the way things are done'." She rolled her eyes wearily. "Anyway, I probably won't be back for a while. Stay here in the meantime, I don't want to have to wait until you go into a trance again before we have to get you."

He frowned, confused. "Why would you need me here?"

"We'll explain later. It'll probably be better if we can enlighten both you and the girl at the same time. And it'll be less annoying to have to say everything just once, anyway. But just stay here, and _don't look at them again._ Not until Minnie's stopped feeling sorry for herself, and they go back to normal."

"But—"

"But nothing. You're not worth anything if your brain's leaking out of your skull." With these cheerful parting words, she spread her wings wide, leapt into the air, and soared past him. Turning, he watched her fly with incredible speed towards a staircase he had not noticed earlier, which seemed to descend impossibly far below; the sound of wind in her wings quickly faded into mere echoes.

Sighing, he put his head back on his paws, keeping his eyes fixed on the pink flower. This was going to be a long night. He might as well write something.

_VI. And as I didst consider Fitzgerald's great words of wisdom, it came to pass that a great light appeared; yea, and I saw that I stood upon a sea like unto glass ..._

* * *

"Master!" the Missing One cried mentally, feeling pain pulsing within him. Power washed around him in a infuriatingly tantalizing flow.

The stranger, of course, took no notice. He was busily **Crushing** the souls whom he had recently intercepted, their silent screams tearing through his body, fueling his limbs with power. The darkening, dusky sky was veiled in ominous clouds gathered in a looming storm, signaling the threat of a distant hurricane.

The chaotic, exhausted of strength, gave up the fight in despair. It was useless to throw off the iron hold of the invader. As if that weren't galling enough, he had realized in horror, some time into his futile struggle, that the one who had stolen his body was none other than his master, the lord of all chaotics, great Apolydon himself. It was he who had created the chaotics long ago, giving them the arcane strength and skills they needed to survive. And now, eons later, he had feigned ignorance of his own creations in order to seize control of one of his more important followers.

"Master...?" The Missing One tried again one last time, halfheartedly.

The other did not reply.

"Douchebag," he snarled sulkily to himself. Like their forms, the loyalties of chaotics could change in an instant if need be. He could feel no guilt or shame for insulting the master who had betrayed him so deeply.

Apolydon opened his mouth to speak, and for one heart-stopping moment the Missing One was terrified that his rudeness had been heard; but the words that issued forth put his mind at ease, ironically. "This strength is sufficient," he said in satisfaction. It was impossible to tell who he was addressing, if anyone. "I will now hunt in the nearby village to **Crush** more directly. I have found in the past that to actually hear their screams is something to be coveted."

Then, much to his captive's delight, he took a step forward.

The invader had been standing in the same place ever since taking over, in order to get used to inhabiting a body again and to regain strength through his recent **Crushings**. As such, he was completely oblivious to the fact that, among other abnormalities, the Missing One's body was unique in that its mass was extremely compact, resulting in a staggering weight. And the Lord of Evil did indeed stagger, unprepared for the way the body's balance would be unsettled if he took such a quick step.

Which was how he tripped over absolutely nothing, and fell facefirst into the sand, creating a monster-shaped crater with a loud _thwump_.

"Urrrgh."

The Missing One giggled childishly as the Lord of Evil snarled, unsteadily attempting to get to his feet. But his mirth was soon extinguished as his mind, sharp as ever, went into action. He knew that in spite of this mishap, the evil one would surely get whatever he wanted, and sooner rather than later. He'd have to find a way to boot him out before his hold got too strong.

"Perhaps I could dive down within myself," he mused. Initially, he found the idea repugnant. Examining the shadowy recesses of his own soul would require him to relinquish his last feeble hold on himself, leaving it entirely in the dark hands of his former master. He wasn't sure about some people, but _he_ liked his body, unstable and unpredictable as it was. The idea of simply handing control over to a malevolent backstabber made him sick. He had done it several times before, of course, but that was merely done to survive; his body would still be free to regain once he returned. (The latest such incident had happened several centuries ago, when a group of retarded philosophers had tried to dissect him. Once he had gone limp, they decided that he had died and carelessly sliced his bonds away, but they immediately regretted it when he leapt up from the table, eagerly leaping upon them to messily devour them while cursing them with horribly foul language.)

Of course, he could always coerce his Beast into helping him.

That single idea convinced him. Abruptly relaxing his weakening grip on his body, he retracted himself deep into the core of his mind, like a primordial sea creature pulling back its slippery tentacles. Abruptly all pain was gone; his nerve endings no longer tore at him. Around him a dark, winding corridor begin to shimmer, gradually forming into a segment of his shadowy, mazelike mind. For a moment he had no purpose, no sense of self, as he was swiftly becoming an entity separate from his own mind; but several memories fluttered towards him from the darkness ahead, obediently settling on his skeletal frame like moths. Purpose swept over him once more, reminding him of who he was and what he was doing. With an uncharacteristically grim huff, he darted along the corridor, beginning his search for the deepest dungeon.

Outside, Apolydon had gotten to his feet. His eyes, brilliant blue orbs gleaming in the skull's once empty eye sockets, turned ominously to the flickering lights of the village in the distance ...

* * *

The familiar scent of Lysol burned Leaf's nose as she returned painfully and hazily to consciousness. Her eyes fluttered weakly as she tried to adjust to her surroundings, but they were shrouded in darkness, punctuated by soft little whispers that hissed like fires around her.

"More morphine...?"

"Ice, for the love of Arceus, ice!"

"... just contacted parents ..."

"... another one here, Joy says it's too extreme ..."

"What? Why do they always get rocks in their eyes?"

"Been a few minutes ... more Rockets found, or ...?"

"A few. Smashed dead, I guess ... couple smashed but still alive, though ..."

An involuntary groan escaped her slightly parted lips. Instantly a voice whisper-screamed, _"SHUT UP! YOU'RE ALL WAKING HER UP!"_

There was a moment of surprised silence. Then a few disgruntled mutters returned, but softer, quieter than before. The sounds of their rustling danced lightly through the air, as they busily returned to their tasks.

A silhouetted figure loomed in her unfocused vision, its head leaning slightly toward her. Something touched her hand softly: warm fingers holding hers gently, tentatively. "Go back to sleep," the figure said, a quiet forcefulness underlying his words. "I can't stay for long, I'm needed somewhere else. Just relax."

"Don't go—" she slurred wearily.

"Sssssssh," he hushed softly, cutting her off. "Breathe in ... breathe out. Breathe in ..."

She found herself automatically inhaling and exhaling in time with his commands, feeling the tension within herself evaporate as she slid comfortingly into a gentle unconsciousness. It seemed to be only a few seconds later that she reopened them only to be assaulted with the sun glaring brightly through the window.

"Ow," she muttered, squinting.

"Ooh, she's awake! Cool! Leaf, why do you always end up in the hospital? Maybe it's not the Pokemon Center like last time, but still! This is just crazy, right?"

"Lighdding, led her resd—"

"She's been resting for, what, twelve hours? I wanna see her."

Leaf craned her neck upwards, gazing at her surroundings. It was the usual, sterile white hospital room, with ominous-looking surgical instruments scattered about at various intervals. Through the window on the opposite wall, she saw the stunning sight of pristine buildings glinting blindingly in the sunlight. And beyond them glimmered the soft, restless movements of the sea itself, stretching out in a blue-and-platinum vista stretching endlessly toward the horizon. A surge of excitement suddenly flooded through her. _We're in Cerulean!_

"We're in Cerulean," Lightning said, repeating the obvious. He was striding toward her from the open door a few yards on her left, Peach perched on his shoulder as usual. "It's a pretty place, at least from what I've seen. Not quite as orderly as Pewter, though. Maybe the difference has something to do with the gym leaders."

"These cities," Fire sighed, "were built centuries before either of them were born." He emerged from the hall outside, appearing to be somewhat subdued. His hat, of course, was missing, having been lost in the wild Rhyhorn battle; but his left arm was settled securely in a sling, hanging taut on his shoulder. He looked about as tired as she felt.

Ocean, seated comfortably in a stiff chair in a far corner of the room, rolled his eyes at Fire's words. "He was jusd poidding oud de goidcidedces, dad's all," he said. "You're suje a gilljoy sobetibes, Fire." He stretched his legs out as he spoke, wincing.

"Ocean!" Leaf sat up fast in bed, ignoring the pins and needles that immediately pricked at her back. She smiled happily at them, wondering if one of them had been the comforting figure who had come into her room last night — an action which, incidentally, could be taken horrifically out of context. "What — what're you doing here? Did you bribe Jenny to escape, or what?"

He reached back and rubbed the back of his head, making his spiked, dark blond hair bounce slightly with the movement. "Well, id has more do do wid my nadtural charms," he said with false modesty, while grinning like a cat with a canary in its mouth. "She said she'd led be go, bud odly if _she_ gould massage _me_, ad I said I was all righd wid dad. Ad id sdarded oud iddocedtly edough — rubbing by hads, you dow — bud ded she boved dowd do by bicebs, ad ded by bag, ad de degzd ding I dow she's all ober be ... dad was _real_ dice ..."

Fire made an exasperated face at him. "You are such a bad liar, you know that?"

Ocean's grin broadened, and his face turned red. "Baybe..."

_"Aw, how cute! You called him baby! I was wondering how long it'd take you to find your way out of that closet, but you did, and I'm proud of you for it!"_

"POKEDEX!" they all shouted in annoyance.

_"Well, it's true,"_ the Pokedex sniffed self-importantly. It was sitting on the sparkling clean cabinet several feet away, propped up against Leaf's bright yellow handbag. _"I keep waiting for him to dress up like a French maid and give one of you less flamboyant boys the giggling valley girl treatment. That would give me a chuckle, and you know how lacking I am when it comes to humor, so that would be a good thing. Teehee, the spiky-haired nitwit dancing with the cowboy failure. That's almost cute."_

"That's gross," Lightning muttered.

"I'm glad you think so," Peach crooned, stroking his ear. "Because if you didn't, I would ... well, I'd probably electrocute you. And then I might cry."

"I'm not a failure," Fire muttered to himself.

"I'b dod flabboyadt!" Ocean protested explosively. "Are you drying do dell be sobeting here?"

_"Don't be stupid. Of course I am!"_

"Shut up, Pokedex," Leaf sighed wearily. "But really, Ocean, what're you doing here? You couldn't have written those lines _that_ fast, could you?"

"Do," Ocean admitted, deflating a little. "Jeddy sedt be away, agdually. She was busy with de ebaguatiod ad all. Bud I'd already wrode de lides five huddred ad fordy-dwo dibes. I'll be oud of gusdody id do dibe." He looked rather proud of himself for it.

The Pokedex snickered. _"'Jeddy,' eh?"_

"I said to shut up!" Leaf snapped.

"Id's ogay," Ocean said, shrugging. "I gad'd helb dad I habe a gold. If Fire was dalking lige dis, I'd be baking fud of hib, doo."

"Thanks so much," said Fire.

"Of gourse, id'd be ebed fuddier if id was hib, begause he's ad ebo ad eberyting."

"I am _not_ an emo!"

"Yes you are!"

"No, I am—"

"SHUT UP!" Lightning hollered. He blushed when everyone turned towards him, surprised at his uncharacteristic outburst. "I mean ... let's not, um, argue. There's something else that has to be done. Fire...?" He gave the brunette a meaningful look. Peach mimicked his expression, and Leaf had to stifle a giggle at this.

"What? Oh, yes..."

Fire walked purposefully towards Leaf's cot, keeping his eyes cast low to the ground. Leaf raised an eyebrow at his stiff, uncomfortable gait. He stepped to an abrupt halt just a few inches from her side, biting his lip as he slowly brought his gaze upward to meet hers.

"Fire, what happened to your arm?" Leaf asked concernedly, starting to lift her hand to touch the cast. Then she paused: he probably wouldn't like that at all.

The brunette shrugged. "A rock fell on it."

"Oh."

"After you saved me."

Silence.

"Leaf..." He took a deep breath, tensing himself. "I don't know how to say this, it's not something I ever thought I'd say ... you know how it is, don't you? I mean ... you showed me a lot about being a good person. I-I'd thought that saving you from Tyran was just something that made me better than you — than _any_ of you — and it was also a chance to show my strength on the side.

"And you're not just a good person, either..." He paused, glancing briefly over his shoulder towards Lightning; the blonde's encouraging nod seemed to reassure him, and he continued. "Not just a good person, but a good trainer. You can get the best out of your Pokemon, without even forcing them to. You care for them, and everyone else, so much ... and I never saw that, ever, until yesterday. And you applied yourself to the situation so well, that you didn't even depend on them at all when were willing to risk yourself to save me. Me! And I was always such a ... well, a jerk."

"Ah!" Ocean interjected lustily. "He's fidally seed de lighd!"

"Yes," Fire agreed, and he surprised everyone by not sneering at the spiky-haired boy; instead, a sad smile appeared faintly on his face. "Yes, I have. It was so, _so_ wrong of me to do something hard for glory ... when you would do something so much harder just because you cared."

Leaf stared at him in surprise for a moment, wondering at his expression. Then she lowered her head, shaking it slightly. "You make it sound so much better than it was. It's not like I was thinking or anything—"

"Exactly. You didn't _have_ to think about it. You just automatically knew what was right, and you went through with it. Leaf ... maybe I'm rambling, I don't know, but you had to see where I'm coming from before I say it, so..."

"So?"

"So, what I'm trying to say is ... well ... I'm sorry."

"What? _Really?_"

Lightning's mouth fell open.

"You're nod serious!" Ocean burst out, eyes bugging in shock. "Who are you ad whad have you dode wid Fire?"

"But I _am_ serious. Leaf, I want to be a better person, like you. I want to change who I am and stop being cruel and selfish."

_"So in other words, he wants to turn over a new _leaf_,"_ the Pokedex commented, snickering.

Fire ignored it. "It won't be easy for me, after so many years of being who I was ... but I'll try. I really will. So ... will you accept my apology?"

Hesitantly he stuck out his hand, the one that no rock had fallen on. The next few seconds seemed to stretch for an eternity, as the boys watched with baited breath while Leaf incredulously examined Fire's outstretched hand. She stared in wonder at the silent pleading shining from his eyes, so different from the detached apathy she was used to.

Then she smiled and grasped his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "Of course I do," she said graciously. "You're my friend, after all. Even if you didn't know that before."

He grinned shyly. "Thank you," he whispered, his fingers curling around hers.

"You should apologize to your Pokemon for your attitude, though," she chastised, giving him a knowing look.

Fire looked apprehensive at this, but he nevertheless turned and let out his Pokemon. Drowzee squinted at him adoringly with beady eyes, while Squirtle trembled as she stared at his feet. "Guys? I have to apologize. For not being nice to you, or treating you well."

"But you do treat us well, Master!" Drowzee said sycophantly.

It was Pokemon speech, but its meaning was clear to everyone, and Fire shook his head. "No, I didn't. I treated you like objects, and I hurt Squirtle, when I knew that _I_ wouldn't want anyone to treat _me_ that way." Squirtle raised her gaze hesitantly at this. "I just want you to give me a second chance at this. Please?"

Squirtle looked him in the eyes, her expression nervous and almost hopeful. She tilted her head for a moment, thinking deeply on the matter. Then she shivered and turned away, head lowered slightly.

Fire sighed sadly. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I hope you'll change your mind. I won't hurt you again." With that, he recalled his Pokemon, looking a bit defeated.

The others watched on, feeling sympathetic about his plight, but content that at last they could be around a friend who wouldn't constantly sneer at them every time somebody opened his mouth.

The Pokedex scoffed. _"There is _way _too much human interest here for that to be real,"_ it said cynically. _"I bet Oprah's about to burst from that cabinet and offer somebody a free house."_

"I want a free house," Peach commented, a faraway look appearing in her eyes. "I could share it with _Lightning_ ..."

"It's Leaf!" exclaimed a voice from the doorway. Looking toward it, Leaf was surprised and amused to see Frosti standing there, looking pleased. "Great, you're okay! We're all fine, thanks for asking. Hanging out at the Pokemon Center. We broke out, though, which was cool ... I've been looking _everywhere_ for you, you know. I had to look in every room I passed to see if you were there! The things I almost walked in on ..." He trailed off, shuddering. A sudden whooshing sound wafted from the hall behind him, and he wisely dived to the floor just in time.

"BANZAIIIIII!" Paris squealed happily, rushing into the room on a Return, spinning wildly in the air as she soared right over Frosti's orange head. Well, it actually sounded more like "BAHNSHAIIIIII!" because of the fact that she was holding Cheri in her mouth, drooling slightly on the cocoon Pokemon's golden covering. The Kakuna, black eyes narrowed, seemed completely indifferent to flying with a baby sea monster on a magical pink heart-shaped hovercraft.

Leaf stared in shock as they suddenly took a sharp dive. "Paris, watch—!"

"OOF!"

"... out. Oh dear."

"I'm okay, Mommy!" the little Lapras chirped happily, picking herself up off the floor as the Return-heart evaporated beneath her. Dropping Cheri unceremoniously, she scampered over to Leaf's side, leaving a trail of indigo scales as she came. "It was fun! I ran over a lady in white, though. She made a funny face when she fell."

"Paris," Leaf said, scratching behind her curly ears, "it's not nice to knock people down."

"But you have me knock Pokemon down all the time!" Paris pointed out, tilting her head to the side slightly.

Leaf facepalmed at this obvious oversight. "Oh. Well, that's true ... but I only want you to knock down Pokemon, okay? Not people. With Pokemon it's fun, but with people it's rude."

"Ohhhhh, okay," Paris said, nodding to herself. "That's probably why the weird sneaky guy had a mad face."

"Eh? What weird sneaky guy?"

"The one I knocked down in the big main room where people wait, before I ran over the lady in white. His hair looked pretty funny, though. When he fell he was grabbing at it like it was about to fall off." She giggled at the idea.

Leaf released a long groan when she realized what this meant.

"Oh crud!" Lightning gasped, watching her in horror. Then he started jumping up and down in a panic, bouncing all over the room in anxiety. "Oh crud, oh crud, oh crud! This is it! This must be it! I can't watch! Somebody, hurry and go get a doctor! She must be going into labor! Leaf, you have to breathe! BREATHE!"

Ocean put a stop to his ravings by bashing him over the head. "She's nod bregdadt, you weirdo. She brobably jusd heard sobeding ibbordadd frob de Labras, which I wadt very buch, by de way. Ded she'll dell us whad id is, ad we'll be all lige, 'Oh do, de world's aboud do ed id a fiery burding death begause of whad we heard frob dis liddle Labras who Ocead wads very buch.'"

"...?"

"Um, okay?"

Leaf sweatdropped. "You people ... are weird. Lightning, Paris saw somebody in the lobby, and knocked him down. Somebody with fake hair — a wig, I mean."

Lightning paled. "You mean ...?"

"Yes."

"Cobalt!" they spat at the same time.

Ocean frowned. "Waid, who's Gobald?"

"A Team Rocket person," Leaf explained, looking annoyed at the idea of encountering him again. "He's after Paris for some reason, the jerk. Why he's doing that is anyone's guess."

"Maybe," Fire said reasonably, "it's because she's _shiny_."

She shrugged. "Maybe. Or was that sarcasm?"

He grinned feebly. "Sorry, that was a slip."

"Okay then. Anyway, Cobalt has another Team Rocket person with him, named Gina. She's the main reason why Pewter City is a mess, but I don't want to go into details there."

Ocean's eyes lit up. "Is she hot?"

Lightning bashed him over the head. "Focus, Ocean!"

"And now it seems like they've been following us!" Leaf went on, ignoring them. "There'll probably be another huge disaster when they show up, as if we don't have enough to worry about! And they are _not_ going to steal my baby!" she snapped fiercely, grabbing a surprised Paris protectively. "My sweet, precious baby who's worth more than them and all their Pokemon combined!"

"Thanks, Mommy, but can we go now?" Paris asked, another scale clattering to the floor. "This place is getting boring."

Leaf looked from Ocean, who had Lightning in a headlock, to the Pokedex, who was cackling manically at everyone, and wondered wistfully if life would ever go back to boring again.

* * *

Some distance away, Elvis emerged from a tall building, a cool salty breeze making his sparkly clothes billow strangely. He swiveled, stumbled for a moment, and abruptly straightened, before beginning to walk uncertainly down the long sidewalk, snapping his fingers to some song that was going through his head.

"Mom, look!" exclaimed a passing little girl, pointing in astonishment at him. "It's Elvis!"

"Elvis?" her mother repeated, freezing in place as she watched the dark-haired man go by.

"Elvis?" gasped a great deal of other people, who seemed to appear out of nowhere with great sparkly eyes and faces of utmost adoration, as all inconvenient fans have a habit of doing when famous people suddenly appear.

He paused and looked behind him through ridiculously huge sunglasses at the enchanted mass of delighted people behind him. Then, suddenly, he bolted, as anyone with half a brain would do in his situation.

"ELVIS! ELVIS! ELVIS!" the fans chanted, starting to sprint after him, unless they were incredibly old or fat, in which case they merely cheered after the huge mob, before turning and arguing with each other in surprisingly high-pitched voices. But we don't care about them. We care (or at least care more) about Elvis's flight down concrete, nearing the crosswalk of a busy intersection, filled with honking cars and trucks, while screaming people were chasing him.

The famous singer reached the edge of the sidewalk and, without missing a beat, leapt surprisingly high into the air, somersaulting once over traffic before landing feet-first on a fast-moving bus. He sank into a crouching position, watching the disappointed people sink into the distance behind him, yelling his name.

"WE LOVE YOU, ELVIS!" crowed a small horde of pretty girls, who were standing at the front of the pack, as pretty girls often tend to do.

"Thank you!" he called back, pointing coolly at them in farewell. "Thank you very much!"

They waved at him, some deperately trying to follow him as they ran alongside the street on the sidewalk; but the bus was too fast for them, and Elvis slowly vanished from sight, his clothes waving dramatically in the rushing wind around him.

* * *

He jumped off smoothly at an alley a few miles away, closer to the suburbs, and chuckled to himself at the expressions on the passengers' faces as it pulled away. Then something pulled at his pant leg, and he gasped; but it was only Phlash, who was tugging at him impatiently.

"Weirdsch Hair Ghuy, ya needschta c'mon!" she exclaimed, her mouth full of fabric.

He stared at her. "Why?"

Something rustled in the shadows. Turning, he saw Gina, who was leading a few nervous-looking grunts toward him. "Cobalt, your Phrygoil is acting funny," she said, looking at the grime around her in distaste.

Elvis-who-was-not-really-Elvis-but-actually-Cobalt-in-yet-another-strange-disguise gave her The Look. "You _just_ figured that out?"

The copper-haired girl ignored his sarcasm. "Can you just keep her calm, or something?" she asked. "We're in bad shape here, and we really don't need any weasel drama."

She had a point, he decided grudgingly. The surviving grunts (of which there were still many) had set up camp some ways to the northeast of Mount Moon, where they could lay low while the police and medical teams were still swarming there. Meanwhile, they still had to figure out what to do about their clashing objectives, which were giving him a headache even though he hadn't really thought about them yet.

On the one hand, he and Gina had been given a specific assignment: get the Lapras. Everyone knew that when the Boss told you to do something, you followed through on it until you succeeded or died — unless you got so embarrassed trying to succeed that you ended up failing miserably, and the Boss simply buried his face in his hands and moaned at the fact that you were a glaring embarrassment to his Team. But to Cobalt, that was neither here nor there. It simply was his duty to do what the Boss had commanded.

But on the other hand, the Mount Moon excavation had been executed due to an important project which the Rocket scientists were currently working on — important enough to put a deeply sinister and unpredictable executive in charge, if that was what it took to accomplish the mission. The mission (to recap briefly) had almost ended in complete disaster, if Disaster was the name of a pink immortal kitten who found satisfaction in blowing up. Luckily, Cobalt had retrieved most of the bigger Massive Moon Stone shards, several of which were now tucked safely away in the hidden compartments of his sparkly silver boots, because he was just that awesome. And he knew full well that the Boss would want them as soon as possible, especially now that the police were investigating and so on.

So, in trying to decide between which of the two missions to choose, one could say that he had a slight dilemna.

"Cobalt?"

"Huh? What?"

"You were spacing out again, weren't you?"

"... No ..."

"Cobalt!" Phlash exclaimed, letting go of his pant leg. "We must phace them in an epic battle oph phreedom of belieph!"

He gave her a surprised look. "Are you talking with an accent?"

"Just look!" she said, staring angrily out of the alley to the brightly lit sidewalk outside.

Cobalt turned around, a bit annoyed. He was unimpressed by what he saw, which was a pack of wild Phrygoil, their tough appearances magnified by grimy fur and chipped claws. However, he was greatly amused at the sight of the biggest one: he seemed to be the leader of the pack, because he had a yellow paper crown on his head.

"Look, my phriends!" he said hungrily. "I thinks it is a phoe oph our sacred beliephs!"

"Phoe nothing, phat one!" Phlash snapped back. "It is you who are the inphidels!"

"Inphidels?" the other spat incredulously. "Pshaw! We is mere servants oph the one and only true belieph! But you is a dark and murderous threat to the right way of liphe!"

"I am stronger than you, phools," Phlash declared, crouching into a sleek position, her muscles tensing. "I have the truth on my side. I shall send you all to the demons phor your interpherence in my quest to spread the great words oph truth and light and Ronald McDonald!"

"Your words is strong, little one." He stood up on his hind legs, moving into a karate pose that was definitely not designed for Phrygoil. His gang scuttled behind him when he swayed slightly, nervously ready to catch him if he fell. "But our holy phaith will always prevail against the likes of you. Eat my wrath of holy phiiiiiiiirrrrre!"

He took a deep breath and, after a dramatic pause, belched loudly.

Cobalt and Phlash stared at him for a few seconds. Then, in unison, they collapsed to the concrete, howling with painful laughter.

"You can lauph," the big Phrygoil said sternly, eyeing them with disapproval, "but soon you will die! That includes you, you with the phaggoty-looking hair!"

The next thing he knew, the Phrygoil was suddenly lifted into the air by the scruff of his neck (courtesy of a no-longer-laughing Cobalt) and thrown violently over the buildings on the other side of the street with an incredible lightning speed. The gang of Phrygoil watched in astonished bemusement, their heads following their leader as he arced through the air, yelling indignantly, "Looks like I is blasting ophph ... phor the phirst time!"

There was a strange _ding_ as he vanished behind the rooftops and out of sight. Then, just as suddenly, his followers jerked themselves out of their frozen state of shock, and zipped across the street towards wherever he had gone, meowing in dismay.

A moment of meaningless silence ensued. Silence in the alley, that is, considering the perpetual skids of tires and honks of horns on the road, and the occasional distant _smash_ of some random careless fool who should never have been allowed a driver's license.

Slowly, a frown stretched over Cobalt's face. "Did I just throw him?"

"Yeah!" Phlash grinned rabidly. "It was so cool! The phatty never stood a chance!"

"But what were they about?"

"This," she answered darkly. She reached down and picked something up in her mouth: it was the crown the other Phrygoil had worn, which had fallen off in Cobalt's sudden movement. "They are the phollowers of the sinister Lord of the Phrozen Phace."

"...What?"

She gave him a hopeless look. "Burger King?"

"Oh, I know them!" he exclaimed in realization, making Phlash facefault.

"Cobalt," Gina asked slowly, "you threw that thing really strangely."

He looked around at her. "... No I didn't. I just threw him."

"Actually," she said seriously, "you did. You moved so fast that you were, like, a blur. And you threw him, what, sixty feet? That was like some freaky ninja thing! How'd you do that?"

He frowned, thinking. Now that he reflected on it, he realized that he really had been extremely fast and strong in that moment, even though he was so awesome that he was fast and strong all the time anyway. But where had that come from? He only knew that it had been so easy, so _natural_, that he'd barely noticed any difference.

"I have no idea," he told her, scratching absently at his hand. "Probably just because I'm so awesome that even physics love me now ... what are you people looking at?"

The grunts, who had been staring at him in disbelief, jumped and immediately averted their gazes. "Um ... nothing, sir."

He glared at them. "I'm not crazy!"

"We didn't say you were, sir."

"But you were looking at me like I had two hands!"

"...Hands?"

"I meant heads. Geez, I'm losing it." He turned back to his fellow admin, as the makings of a plan began to form in his head. "Gina ... can you take these people back to camp? I want to try and head off the girl and snatch her Lapras."

She frowned. "Wh—?"

"I'll tell you why. I couldn't nab the thing before, since it smashed me to the floor, and they'll probably be on their guard around the hospital ... but you can bet they'll be heading to the gym, and they won't expect me to be sneaking around there. Hopefully. And if we can get it, then we can run back to headquarters, give it _and_ the Moon Stone bits to the Boss, and finish both missions! Why didn't I see it before?"

She shrugged. _She's been struck speechless by my incredibly genius self_, he thought egomaniacally.

"Great!" he said eagerly, taking her silence for consent. "Now I'm off to do just that. Phlash, come on ... Phlash?"

"This must burn!" Phlash chanted psychotically, ripping the crown up into tiny pieces and jumping on them rapidly. "Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!"

Cobalt sweatdropped. _If I can get her to move, that is,_ he thought pathetically.

* * *

"Keep an eye out," Leaf ordered, as she led the way out through the sliding doors of the hospital, waving back half-heartedly at the overenthusiastic nurses at the counter. She squinted as she emerged out in the stunning sunlight, with her trusty handbag slung over one arm and a happily chirping Paris in the other. Frosti trotted along at her side, occasionally scowling up in slight jealousy at the little Lapras.

Lightning followed close behind, glancing around him nervously. "Leaf, I don't like this. What if they ambush us?"

Two shadowy figures suddenly came close behind him. Lightning caught sight of them and yelped in fright, before realizing that it was only Fire and Ocean. Peach giggled at the expression on her trainer's face, patting his shoulder soothingly.

"Why would they ambush us?" Fire asked, rolling his eyes. "Isn't that the point of looking around, so that they _won't_?"

"Well ... I dunno," Lightning muttered, biting his lip. "They might do something different this time ... they might have brought friends ..."

Leaf raised an eyebrow, and the change in her expression caught his eye. They stared at each other, thinking, before abruptly exploding into wild laughter.

"C-cobalt?" Leaf gasped between guffaws. "With _friends_? Are you serious?"

Lightning only giggled in reply.

"Right..." Fire sweatdropped and turned away. "You're not strange _at all_."

Leaf, still shaking with laughter, raised an eyebrow at him.

Fire understood her unspoken meaning perfectly. "Oh, I did it again. Sorry. But you know, it'd be so much easier not being sarcastic if you guys didn't roll on the floor laughing all the time."

"Roffle!" Ocean exclaimed happily, making everyone else facefault.

Peach gave him a sideways look. ""Roffle"? That's the dumbest line I've ever heard. Is he mad, Leaf?"

"Yes," Leaf said as they got up. The answer instantly got her weird looks from the boys, and she glared back at them. "...What?"

"You're talking to yourself again," Lightning explained, making the girl facefault a second time.

"Mommy?" Paris asked uncertainly, half pinned to the sidewalk by her trainer's weight. "Why do you keep falling like that?"

Leaf sighed, reaching her hand upwards to scratch under Paris's chin as she slowly pushed herself to her feet. "Why? Well, Paris, they're crazy. That's probably why."

"Yeah, but you're talking to yourself, _again_," Lightning put in.

She gave him The Look. "Lightning. I already explained this twice. Don't make me get angry with you."

He cringed. "Sorry?"

"Thank you. Now which way's the gym?"

Ocean looked away. "De gyb? Well...?"

Leaf made a face. "Ugh ... you don't know where it is, do you?"

"Well, as a madder of fagd, do."

"But I would guess," Fire cut in, "that it's somewhere near the ocean. It keeps to the theme of water-types, which the gym leader trains."

"He does?" Leaf asked, shocked.

"What do you mean, 'he does'?" Frosti repeated incredulously. "Everyone knows about Misty, and the horribly wet Pokemon she trains!"

"...The gym leader's a girl?" Leaf said uncertainly, and everyone groaned at her apparent lack of knowledge on this subject.

"Just stop," Fire said in a pained voice. "Please. We're going this way." Glancing over his shoulder to make sure the others were following, he randomly headed off to the right, almost looking as if he wished he didn't know them.

A tall figure, leaning against a lamppost near the intersection on the opposite side of the hospital, watched them go. It waited for a few moments after they had rounded the corner, while pedestrians walked hurriedly past like schools of lost fish. Then, very casually, it straightened up, stretched, and followed them.


	15. True Colors: Part II

It starts getting crazy. BTW, if you saw the twist coming, you are ... I dunno. Something.

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: True Colors (Welcome to Cerulean! The Dazzling Team Waterflower!) – Part Two

Eventually, after much complaining and sore feet, they stumbled upon the gym, a broad, tall dome sitting serenely in a small park near the water. A short, winding path led up to it, and they moved down it eagerly, although Leaf, who remembered what happened last time she had approached a gym, was a bit guarded. The gym's top half was decorated with loudly-colored stripes, giving it an appearance of an overgrown beach ball. A huge plastic Dewgong perched in front of it, above the main entrance to the gym; the white, finned Pokemon was stretched out, grinning as if to say, _This is MY beach ball._

Upon reaching the heavy double doors, Leaf paused warily.

"Oh, you won't fall again," Fire said, understanding her doubt. "I'm not on the other side to knock you down this time." He grinned ruefully.

She smiled back, then pushed the doors open. They were greeted with the sight of a waiting area, heavy with the smell of chlorine. The pale blue walls with its painted fish gave them the eerie sensation of being underwater. To the right and left were doors marked "Changing Room", but one would have to navigate a large collection of tables and stuffed chairs to get to either one. A full-length mirror hung from one wall. At the far end of the room, standing to the side of a receptionist's desk, were the double doors to the gym itself, more or less flaps that could be pushed aside with minimal effort. Voices could be heard from within, amplified by that unearthly echo produced by all large arenas.

Ocean immediately strode over to the mirror, in which he admired himself, smoothing back his hair in vain. Lightning took a seat in a nearby chair, Peach watching intently from his shoulder as he idly scrolled through his Pokedex's functions. Leaf recalled Paris and Frosti (who looked at her rather reproachfully as she did so), and she and Fire approached the receptionist, who was looking rather anxiously towards the double doors.

Fire didn't bother with greetings. "We want a gym battle," he said, showing off his spectacular talent for not wasting any time.

The receptionist, a blond, muscular young man wearing a shirt that read "Lifeguard", jumped at the boy's words. "What? Oh, sorry. Um ..." He paused, trying to look somewhat like he knew what he was doing. "I'm sorry, but the gym leader is currently busy."

"Fighting?" Leaf asked curiously, craning her neck in an effort to see through the doors' plastic windows, but they were too fogged up with condensation.

"Yes, although—"

A sudden, mostly feminine shout from beyond the doors cut him off.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB?"

"... although not with her Pokemon," the receptionist said, cringing along with the challengers. He rubbed the back of his head nervously as he glanced toward the doors. "I'm sorry about this. I'm not sure when they're going to stop arguing, so you might have to wait a while. But I'll be sure to get you in as soon as I can. I'm the referee, you know. Wennett Raines, at your service. That's my job ... Would you like a souvenir?" He gestured towards the shelves behind him, which were stocked with neatly folded T-shirts. "We have them in red, indigo, turquoise, yellow, black, lime, and beige. No, I have no idea why they ordered beige. Those girls can have strange tastes in clothes, really."

Leaf shook her head. "No thanks. We can just wait here for them to get it over with."

"Suit yourself," Wennett said, shrugging. "But don't touch the stuff near the mirror. They belong to the guy she's arguing with." He gave them the obvious "or else" look.

They glanced over to the general mirror area, ignoring Ocean as he struck an awkward pose. A gray vest lay draped over the back of a chair, and on the table next to it sat a small dark pack and a glaringly familiar red helmet. The teens' gazes passed over this slight detail casually, then abruptly snapped back to it in a double take.

"What? Roark's here?" Leaf and Fire both exclaimed in shock.

There was a moment of uncertain silence before, bug-eyed, the two swiveled towards each other, pointing and asking in unison, "You know him? How do _you_ know him? I thought only I knew him!"

"Dad's weird!" Ocean commented cheerfully, looking at them in the mirror. "Begause I dow hib, do!"

"_What?_"

"Yeah! Dey wouldd'd led be go off od by owd, sidce I'b sdill id drouble, so Jeddy sedt hib ub wid be. Aldough, he said dad I gould sday wid you guys ad de hosbidal undil we rud iddo hib agaid. I dink he dinks he's babysidding be." He shook his head almost pitingly. "Whad a lie. I'b dot a baby."

The Pokedex snickered evilly. _"And I bet that was fun for both of you, eh?"_

"Shut it, Pokedex," Leaf scolded. "Fire, how come you know him? I don't get it."

"It was after you saved ... after the mountain incident," Fire explained, glancing away. "He called up the police and the Cerulean Nurse Joy and everyone to help rescue anybody who was up in that area. He found us in that tunnel after you fainted." He shrugged.

"Oh. That's more exciting than when I met him. Well, actually, not really. It was, like, after the gym battle, and he was mad at me for a bit. And then he cried, which was sad. And then we walked around to look at the Contest place. That was boring, but not really, because I was watching him." She took on a starry-eyed look that made Fire sweatdrop.

"Aw," Lightning pouted. "I feel so left out, you guys. I'm the only who doesn't know him. I sure wish I did."

There was an awkward silence at this. Peach glared at him meaningfully.

"I mean—" Lightning blushed when he realized what he'd said. "I mean, I — ugh, you know what I mean!"

_"We sure do. Hey, spikehead, can you turn back toward your closet and drag your little blond pal out too? He needs to make like a pendulum and show us how he swings!"_

"POKEDEX!"

_"Ex_cuse_ me?"_ the machine asked sharply. _"Is that a_ tone? _Are you using the_ tone _with me, young lady?"_

"Please, people!" Wennett pleaded hastily. "Let's keep the arguing down to a minimum! In here, anyway. Just calm down, if you would ..."

Leaf glared darkly at the Pokedex, who snickered in satisfaction. Then she turned to the helmet, which was sitting rather oblivously on the table, and her murderous attitude evaporated as a rather shrill squeal wriggled its way through her throat. The others stared at her, a bit alarmed at her sudden mood swing, as she darted girlishly to the table and, a bit immaturely, poked the helmet. Then, to their utter astonishment, she picked it up and put it on.

The helmet, of course, had no objection.

"Ooh, this looks great on me!" Leaf crooned excitedly, standing in front of the mirror and half pushing a stunned Ocean out of the way. She struck a pose, turning back and forth, putting her hands on her hips and turning her head to the side. "And it goes with my outfit, too! Doesn't it make me look sexy?"

The males sweatdropped awkwardly at this, trying to find a way to get out of answering that question. Leaf eyed them shrewdly in the mirror, and they stammered, "Well..."

Luckily, a sudden angry yell saved them.

"THERE IS NO REASON," the yell went, "FOR YOU TO TRY TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF RUNNING THINGS MY OWN WAY!"

"I know that!" protested another voice. "But you were still being irresponsible. Now, if you had put a stop to—"

"IRRESPONSIBLE?" the first one cut him off shrilly. "_YOU'RE_ CALLING _ME_ IRRESPONSIBLE? _I'M_ NOT THE ONE WHO WALKED OUT ON HER JOB, YOU PATHETIC LITTLE HOLE-DIGGER!"

"... Is that supposed to be an insult?"

"DAMN RIGHT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE AN INSULT! BECAUSE FORGIVE ME IF I'M NOT AS CONCERNED ABOUT STUPID MOUNTAINS AS YOU AND YOUR SQUINTY-EYED PAL! IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SHUT UP ABOUT IT, THEN YOU CAN JUST FORGET ABOUT HEARING ME OUT, BUCKO!"

There was an echoey _slap, slap, slap_ of cargo boots hitting wet concrete.

"AND QUIT FOLLOWING ME!" the female person shouted angrily. "WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS ANYMORE! IF YOU TRY TO LECTURE ME _ONE MORE TIME_—"

"I'm not following you! Sheesh, it's not _my_ fault that we're both heading for the doors."

Leaf froze. Ocean shot her an oddly gleeful look.

There was a sudden smacking sound as the doors flew open and hit the walls with surprising force; they all swiveled around in shock at the noise. Emerging from the rather humid gym beyond, in which they could see that a very large and invitingly blue pool was situated, was an angry-looking, red-faced, orange-headed girl. She appeared older than the startled visitors, although somewhat younger than Cobalt; she wore blue shorts, a yellow T-shirt, and a flustered scowl, although the latter looked strangely out of place. Her short hair was pulled up to one side in a spiky ponytail, giving her a strangely boyish look.

Behind her came a familiar face, wearing much the same expression. Roark strode out in a huff, looking more than a bit uncomfortable, steamed-up glasses gleaming dramatically in the florescent lights. Sweat glinted on his forehead and bare arms, and Leaf realized why he hadn't worn his vest and helmet into the gym; the humidity would be just too much with those.

Then he skidded to a halt, his scowl softening into a confused frown, as he caught sight of Leaf. The gym leader, meanwhile, followed his uncertain gaze toward the thoroughly embarrassed brunette, and her lips pressed together into a tight, controlled line — for what reason was impossible to tell.

There was a long moment of tense, awkward silence.

"Er," Roark said finally, pointing up at the helmet perched on Leaf's head; its redness was now rivaled by the brilliant color blotching the girl's face. "That's my ... why are you ... I mean, you're wearing ... wait, what?"

Blushing crimson, Leaf slowly brought her hands up and pulled off the helmet. She then set it on the table, before taking a few steps backward and pointedly looking at anything but him.

Then she jumped in shock when the Pokedex abruptly let out a series of overly amused cackles, and everyone's attention turned to it in surprise. Vibrating slightly in hilarity, it laughed so hard that it actually fell out of Leaf's handbag, smacking the ground hard, although its annoying chortling never hitched at this.

"Mmmmmmph!" the gym leader snorted suddenly, as her tight-lipped facade suddenly dissolved in a giggling fit.

The others stared at her for a moment; then, one by one, the five boys and Peach broke down as well, each chuckling or roaring, depending on who was laughing. Ocean actually collapsed to the floor, pounding on it wildly as he shook uncontrollably.

"It's not funny, guys!" Leaf protested childishly, still utterly mortified; but no one heard her complaint in the rippling sounds of mirth flowing around them all.

The gym leader wiped a tear from her eye, her breath uneven. "I'm sorry," she said, an errant giggle sneaking in to ruin the effect of that statement. "That's not how I usually greet challengers ..." She paused, overcome by another slight onslaught of giggles, before hazily reaching up to shake Leaf's hand. "Welcome to Cerulean. I'm Misty, the gym leader. I don't know who you are, but you just made my week."

Several minutes later found them collapsed on the bleachers in the gym, most still giggling feebly. Leaf still felt sore about her recent embarrassment, and kept her attention away from them, instead letting her gaze drift over the great, rippling waters in the pool, taking up most of the space in the gym; the doors on either side of the gym, which led back to the changing rooms; the tall lifeguard's chair, situated at the edge of the pool, directly where the blond referee would normally stand; and the high, domed ceiling above them, which gave the unnerving impression that the gym was inside a large, concrete bubble.

"I really am sorry about all this," Misty apologized, chuckling again. "But It's been quite a rough week for me. I would've gone right up to your hospital and praised you for your efforts and all that, but events ..." She trailed off, looking down ashamedly at her bare feet dangling below her.

"I'm sure," Roark said, the only one of them who was standing. He was leaning against the side of the bleachers, next to the others. His words were serious, but they were belied by the look on his face: a radiant, almost loopy grin that showed there was no real enmity between Misty and himself. "And what could possibly be so important that you would let a whole _mountain_ collapse before you acknowledged that there was a problem? Tell us now, before you go back to biting my head off."

"You're pushing it," Misty replied mock-seriously. "You keep asking, 'Misty, why didn't you go investigate?' Well, why didn't _Brock_ investigate? It's in _his_ domain, too! And _he_ didn't have anything keeping him busy before the Tyranitar incident!"

The other opened his mouth, then shut it again, like a gaping fish. Clearly that thought hadn't occurred to him.

Misty allowed herself a smirk at the boy's realization before continuing. "But as for the situation here, there've been hurricane reports off the coast, to start. Nothing too horrible — yet — but a lot of the merchant and fishing ships sailing around out there are panicking about it. They keep going off course to avoid storms, and end up wrecking against some stupid rock. I have to swim out there once every couple days to save them. It's ridiculous how few of them actually know how to swim, considering."

Wennett nodded in approval of her tone.

"Wow!" Ocean's eyes lit up, filled with hopeless adoration. "You swib oud dere all by yourself? You're so heroig!"

Mist rolled her eyes at him. "I don't go out there 'all by myself'. I surf out there on my Pokemon. It's not like even _I_ can swim for miles all alone. But there's more. Crime's rocketing for some reason ... it's not the worst here in Cerulean, but it's still a pain to control. Team Rocket's getting stronger, and it's impossible to tell where another closet grunt is going to pop up next. Then I have to keep a close eye on that idiot Bill to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid ..."

The others stared at her uncomprehendingly.

"You know, Bill? The one who's doing those stupid experiments that'll probably get him killed one day? ... No? ... Right. Moving on. There's been a few mass battles between Phrygoil packs. They're scaring a lot of people, and almost nobody's using the drive-thrus anymore. It's not fun to see a weasel head poke through your open car window. And if all that wasn't enough, I have to convince those Wicked Witches that my Pokemon are _not_ solely for their stupid shows!"

Lightning frowned. "Wicked Witches? Who are they?"

Suddenly, the answers to that question conveniently came bursting through a door at the far end of the gym, twirling and laughing as their hair — blond, blue, and pink — circled their heads like halos. The sight of their slender, bikini-clad forms made Ocean's eyes practically bug out of his head, and even Fire sat up straighter to watch. Abruptly stopping at the edge of the pool, the three young women each tossed a Poke Ball into the air, spinning several times before they reached out and caught them deftly.

"Talent, power, beauty, grace!" the pink-haired one chanted in a sing-song voice, striking a pose.

"Perfect body, perfect face!" the blue-haired one chimed in, throwing her hands to the sky in a manner that made Ocean moan and drool.

"Team Waterflower, performing in the sea and light!" added the blond one, blowing a kiss. Lightning pretended to catch it, and Peach growled in disbelief.

"Surrender and wonder at the sight!" the young women finished their chant in unison. They released the creatures in their Poke Balls into the pool, where they materialized in a shower of water that splashed into the air before cascading down in droplets that sparkled like jewels. A slightly small blue Pokemon with antennae skittered across the water, flapping along the surface happily. A rather stupid-looking seal-like white Pokemon flipped around in the air a couple of times before splashing heavily in the water, and a reddish, serpentine Pokemon arched its horned head back, releasing a stream of water from its annoyingly smiling mouth.

The boys cheered and applauded wildly at the performance. The girls and Peach were less enthusiastic.

"Marvelous, ladies!" Wennett gushed, smiling. "Truly spectacular use of water and dance! My only concern is your speed. Moving too quickly on wet cement can make you fall, you know." He nodded, as if agreeing with himself, before abruptly getting up and leaving. "I must return to my desk, sadly. I have a job to do. Until then, good-bye!" He disappeared through the doors dramatically, making Leaf sweatdrop.

"The rhythm was all wrong," Misty commented, yawning widely. "And go put something on. You're going to make these people drool all over my nice bleachers."

"Oh, lighten up, Misty!" the pink-haired girl said in a giggly voice. She and her two cronies began to make their way towards the group, making Ocean squeal like a fanboy.

"I don't like them," Peach muttered angrily, shocking Lightning slightly. This only put a silly grin on his face, however, and the Pichu yelled in frustration. "Don't look at them, sweetheart, look at ME! NO MORE OF THIS!"

The little mouse abruptly unleashed a crackling wave of golden electricity, which swept down into the pool, creating a current of electricity that rushed through the waters, tracing their ripples. The lightning hit the water Pokemon hard, and they twitched for a moment before fainting in the deadly waters. The electricity lingered for a moment, then abruptly winked out of existence.

Roark raised a suspicious eyebrow at her display of power, and Leaf's heart jumped into a faster, more anxious rhythm, as she hoped against hope that he wouldn't make any connection.

"Oh, darn!" the blue-haired girl sighed in a giggly way, as she and her sisters recalled the Pokemon. This distracted the miner, and Leaf would have felt grateful to the girl if she hadn't had a sudden urge to strangle her.

"Well, that's what you get for putting on beauty shows with MY Pokemon!" Misty said, highly self-satisfied.

"But water shows are pretty," the blond sister complained as they reached the group. "People like pretty. Who are these people? They don't live here, right?"

The teenagers sweatdropped at this question.

"Anyway, we are Daisy—" the blonde continued, flipping her hair around.

"Violet—" the blue-haired one added happily.

"—and Lily!" finished the pink-haired girl. "Togeth—"

Somebody gasped.

"...'Gasp'?" Lily paused, frowning. "Was that part of the motto?"

Daisy thought for a moment, an action which she made look incredibly difficult. Then she shook her head. "No, but that guy cut in," she said, pointing at Roark. "He's a meanie."

Startled, he ducked his head down, cheeks flushed. "Sorry," he muttered. "It's just that ... my mom's name's Lily." His mouth turned down in a grim frown.

"Whoa, dad's so weird!" Ocean exclaimed excitedly, the way he usually did. "Begause by sisder's dabe is Daisy!"

"Yeah," Lightning added. "But I never had a hamster named Violet."

Everyone stared at him.

"...'Hamster'? What is this 'hamster' you speak of?" Peach asked, eying him shrewdly.

"Bud you dow whad dis beads?" Ocean asked Roark enthusiastically, quickly forgetting Lightning's strange remark. He grabbed the other boy's shoulders, shaking him slightly with each word. "Id beads I'B YOUR UGGLE!"

"..._What_?"

"What's an uggle?" Violet asked, confused.

"Probably some weird technical term," Lily said, shrugging. "Who are these people, Misty?"

"Hey, I asked that!" Daisy protested, pushing her back. "You're stealing my lines!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"SHUT UP! I'll tell you!" Misty interrupted, looking extremely annoyed again. "These people are Leaf, Fire, Ocean, and Lightning. They're noobs from Pallet Town, but they're getting stronger."

"At least one of us is," Fire commented.

"How cute! You're reaching for the stars!" Violet said happily. "Good for you! But what about meanie boy? He doesn't look like a noob. He looks like a girl!" She poked Roark's forehead a bit condescendingly.

The miner put on an utterly astonished look. "No I don't!"

"Ooh, he does!" Lily agreed, grabbing his chin and turning his head slightly one way, then the other. "But we'll fix that. He needs a better outfit, to start. Look at what he's wearing! It doesn't fit him _at all._ And then we should give him a mohawk!"

The other two squealed in approval.

"Ack! Not the hair!" Roark exclaimed, clutching his head protectively. "Don't touch the hair!"

Something fell off his belt as he tried to jerk away from them. In a beam of red light, the fallen Poke Ball released some grayish creature which Leaf thought looked rather ugly, in a very prehistoric way; the same, however, could not be said for the bracelet circling her wrist, which was decorated with small, gray, intricately curved beads from an Everstone. The Cranidos glanced up at the scene, then rolled her red eyes. "With you, my boy, the Force is _very_ strong," she remarked sarcastically.

From Leaf's handbag came an ominous beeping sound.

The girl groaned in disbelief. "Why can't you ever stop?"

_"Because it's a free country, my dear Naaaarrrrrrrgh. We all have rights, and I just happen to have the right to not remain silent. Cranidos, the—"_ The Pokedex suddenly burst into mechanical laughter. _"Actually, forget anything I come up with; its official classification is gold. Shall we hear it?"_

"NO! LET'S NOT HEAR IT! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IMMATURE LITTLE PRICKS GIGGLING AT IT!" the Cranidos exploded suddenly. "DON'T SAY IT!"

_"It,"_ the machine repeated. _"There you go. Cranidos, the Head Butt Pokemon."_

Ocean giggled.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" the dinosaur howled, bashing her head against the wall in frustration. "I HAVE HEARD THOSE FREAKING ARCEUS-DAMNED MACHINES SAY THAT SINCE THE DAY I WAS FREAKING RESURRECTED! WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF MEW, DID THOSE RETARDED POKEDEX CREATORS GIVE ME SUCH A RETARDED CLASSIFICATION?"

"Anni!" Roark scolded, swooping down and snatching her up. "Remember what we talked about? You're not allowed to use your head indoors!"

"Oh yeah ..." Anni's gaze drifted over the small crater in the wall, where her head had dented it. "Oops."

Misty groaned. "Great. Now I need a new wall! Why is—"

_"YOU MUST ALL SHUT UP!"_ the Pokedex hollered._ "I WASN'T DONE WITH THE ENTRY! Thank you. Now back to our dear little butthead. Gender is female. Height is Pathetic Little Orphan That's Not Really An Orphan But Just An Actor In A Pathetic Movie That's Not Going To Do Well At The Box Office. Weight is Average Obese Person From Sixty Million Years Ago. Cranidos are aggressive little buggers that do nothing at all except smash their tough heads into things they don't like. Luckily for the world, they all died out ages ago when this big-ass meteor smashed into the ground and blew them all up. Anyone who says they went extinct some other way is a moron and should be shot in the head. But sadly some idiot miner named Roark and his weird psycho of a father went out and discovered their fossils and dug them up and resurrected them. Blasphemous. Who do they think they are, Shaymin? And now the little menaces are running around again and smashing innocent things up, but this time they have a deranged four-eyed fanboy looking out for them who wears a helmet just like theirs. Whoo, I was on a roll, wasn't I?"_

Anni shot it a murderous glower. Everyone else just stared.

"... Does it _always_ do that?" Roark asked finally, more bemused than insulted.

Leaf took a long, deep breath. "Yes," she said wearily, burying her face in her hands in exhaustion. The day wasn't even half over yet, and she was already tired from the stupidity and sarcasm and pretty boys around her. "Yes, it does."

"That's weird," Daisy said happily, mysteriously pulling out another Poke Ball from who knows where. "I'm going to do a show now. Who wants to watch?"

The spectators sweatdropped at the abrupt change of topic.

"I will!" Violet and Lily exclaimed excitedly, going into ridiculous cheerleader poses as their sister strode up to the edge of the pool. She unleashed a rather dumb-looking Pokemon with a pink, flat, heart-shaped body and a pair of creepily blank black eyes. Its inherent cuteness factor made Leaf almost as sick as the dead Jigglypuff at Mount Moon had.

"Happy happy!" the Pokemon chirped happily, jumping up and down in the water excitedly. "Joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Joy joy joy joy joy joyyyy!"

"Oh, you're such a good fish!" Daisy crooned, patting the Pokemon's head. This action failed, however, as it was virtually impossible to distinguish its head from the rest of its body. "Let's do a show, Romeo! Go into Routine Number Eight!"

"Joy joy!" the Pokemon exclaimed eagerly, flopping around in the pool.

"Daisy, for the love of Arceus, SHE IS A GIRL," Misty said in a strained voice, her face starting to go red again.

"But I call him Romeo!" Daisy said back, with a sort of pouting expression on her face. "He wants to be named Romeo, so he will be Romeo. Are you ready, my manly Romeo?"

"Happy!" exclaimed the manly yet girlish fish. She flipped backwards in a wide arc, shooting a sparkling Water Gun into the air to create a rainbow of blues and silver-grays above the pool. The second she touched the water again, she abruptly shot across the surface of the water in a crisscrossing arc, as a skater might. A strange combination of fluttering pink hearts and clear water spouted from her mouth as she skied across the pool for several moments, creating a strange, hoselike thing which floated in the air for a few seconds, then collapsed into the pool behind her as she continued to feed the constant stream. The hearts remained, however, leaving a distinct trail to mark where she had been. Suddenly she leapt into the air, twirled cutely as she hung for a brief, sparkling second, and splashed into the water, squealing cutely before posing dramatically in the middle of the pool.

"Ooh!" the spectators exclaimed, craning their necks to see the end result. It was difficult to see at that angle, but there was no mistaking the pattern of the huge treble clef in the pool, composed of glittering hearts. It remained there for a moment, boldly pink, before fading out gently, vanishing as if it had never been.

"Lame," Misty sighed.

"That was AWESOME!" Lightning cheered enthusiastically, applauding. "Ten out of five!"

Ocean could only groan in a fanboyish manner.

_"I shall now proceed to ruin this lovely setting with some fascinating tidbits on this stupid fish. What fun. Luvdisc, the Illegal Pokemon. Gender is Female, or so the government wants us to believe. Height is Midget, Weight is Bulimic. These sickening little buggers are famous for stalking couples who are destined to be stuck with each other for ever. People think they're attracted to love, but they're really just there to sneak in and watch when they GET IT ON, WHOOHOO! Also, they're like Lopunny in that even their males are obsessed with men. Given this, and the fact that two of them always kiss daintily when they meet each other, we can safely assume that when the world ends, Luvdisc all over the world will congregate in a Tunnel of Love and start a mass orgy. We'll see how cute they are then, eh?"_

"Joy?" Romeo asked, tilting her head to the side. As she lacked a head, however, she tilted her entire body instead, and toppled sideways into the waters of the pool.

"Pokedex," Leaf sighed, "stop. That was really neat, actually. Paris, come out and watch this!"

"Watch what?" the little Lapras asked cutely, materializing before her trainer in the very familiar beam of red light. She looked around, grinning. "Wow, the air is so wet here, Mommy!"

"It is, isn't it? Watch that funny-looking fish," Leaf explained, pointing at the Luvdisc as she tried to get herself upright. "She's going to make a pretty show! Won't that be fun?"

"Yeah, Mommy!" Paris agreed, nodding excitedly. Another couple of scales fell off as she bounced up and down.

Leaf picked one of the indigo scales up, frowning. "Hmm. That's weird. Why do your scales keep falling off? Do you feel sick, Paris?"

"No, I feel great!" Paris replied, grinning as she looked over at the pool.

"Good. Still, there's got to be a reason for it." She turned to Misty, who was looking utterly bored. "Misty? Do you know why they're dropping off?"

Misty shrugged, although she looked somewhat surprised at Paris's unique coloring. "Oh. Um, I have no idea. Wennett probably knows, though. He's more of a brainiac than I am." She took a deep breath, then bellowed an echoing shout: "WENNETT! GET IN HERE!"

"Yes?" Wennett asked sycophantically, rushing back into the gym and skidding to a halt next to them.

"This Lapras is losing scales for some reason," Misty told him, pointing. "Do you know why?"

"Hmm." He crouched down to Paris's level. "Hi, you're very cute, aren't you? Yes, I think I know why."

"Routine Number Twelve!" Daisy called, not noticing the Lapras. Romeo happily obliged, beginning by putting on a burst of speed that left a sparkling trail of water behind her.

"Wild Lapras are found mostly in polar regions," Wennett explained, patting Paris's head. "They're naturally accustomed to those waters, having an Ice sub-type. But it's still too cold for the newly hatched calves, so they developed a different mechanism."

A slight rustling diverted Leaf's attention. Turning, she was surprised to see a very tanned young woman with bronze-colored hair seating herself a fair distance from the group, dressed lightly but not nearly as lightly as Team Waterflower. Her silvery eyes locked onto Leaf's for a moment, and she nodded slightly before turning her attention toward the show, her sharp-featured face looking tense.

Misty followed Leaf's gaze. "People come in here all the time," she said, answering the girl's unspoken thought. "They like watching gym battles or those retarded shows. Carry on, Wennett."

Anni, meanwhile, watched the Lapras in shock. Then she turned to Roark, who was watching Routine Number Twelve in fascination, and pulled sharply on his pant leg until he looked down. "What?"

"Look!" she hissed quietly, pointing. "That must be my niece! That cute Lapras there! That _purple_ Lapras!"

"Indigo," he corrected automatically, dropping his voice to a softer volume. "Whoa, that's really neat! Skipper with a really pretty daughter. I like that." He looked proudly at Paris, eyes gleaming a bit wetly.

Anni stared in hopelessness at his expression. "You're not going to start blubbering again, are you?"

"Of course not," he said defensively, sniffing. "Poor Skipper. He feels awful for letting her go. And he wouldn't have done it if he hadn't remembered what Dad did."

"Yeah, that guy's a bastard," Anni agreed casually. "Poor us. What's wrong with your head?"

"I don't know," the miner said with a slight grimace, rubbing his temples. "I just ... ugh, I feel weird for some reason."

"So do I. _That_ guy—" She pointed at Ocean as she spoke. "—is one of the strangest people I ever saw. He's moaning more like a Miltank than the Miltank ever could."

But Roark couldn't hear her. He was suddenly having the ominous feeling that his brain was about to be stabbed at and swirled around on a stick like a puff of cotton candy.

"Calves have an extra outer skin for the first month or so after hatching," Wennett was still explaining, picking up a scale and pinching it slightly. "That second skin has a denser concentration of fat molecules to keep them warm, as well as provide a little extra defense against predators. After that first month, they shed the skin. The peeling scales signal that the skin's about to go ... scientists aren't sure why it does that yet. In warmer climates like this, though, they'll shed the skin a lot earlier."

"Oh, that makes sense!" Leaf said contentedly, patting Paris's nose. "I thought something bad was about to happen. Silly me."

At that moment, of course, three bad things happened in quick succession.

Romeo, in spite of her great coordination on the water, abruptly smashed into the side of the pool, sending water splashing all over the group, who cried out indignantly.

Paris stared at the dazed Luvdisc for a brief second before squealing "I wanna play with the funny-looking fish, Mommy!" and abruptly darted off toward the water, which would not have actually been such a bad thing if the motion wasn't immediately followed by an extremely ominous _RIIIIIP_!

And Roark suddenly gripped his own head and keeled over like demons were spitting on him, his groans a great deal less comical than Ocean's somewhat pathetic cow noises.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Misty exclaimed, leaping to her feet; around her, the others did the same, looking confused and horrified. They glanced from Paris, who had just jumped into the pool and left great clumps of scales behind, to Roark, who was on his knees and bending as if he were about to hurl. "WENNETT, CALL AND AMBULANCE! WAIT, _I'LL_ CALL AN AMBULANCE, YOU SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE LAPRAS, THEY DON'T USUALLY GO 'RIP'! DAISY, GET LUVDISC OUT OF THE POOL!" she ordered, white-faced as she sprinted for the doors, nearly slipping on the wet concrete. "YOU PEOPLE GIVE HIM CPR OR SOMETHING!" she added, speaking to the Pallet noobs before disappearing through the doors, which flapped violently as she burst out through them.

"Paris?" Leaf called anxiously, staring at the pool as the boys around her rushed to attend to the miner, while Anni looked on in paralyzed horror. Team Waterflower dived into the water, calling for Romeo in overly dramatic voices.

"I'm okay, Mommy!" was the Lapras's muffled reply which wafted from the mess of splashing water. "This fish is funny. It's tickling meeeeeheehee!"

Satisfied that her Pokemon was in no immediate danger, she swiveled around and rejoined the boys, who were looking extremely traumatized.

"Oh no!" Lightning squealed, bouncing around fearfully. On his shoulder, Peach jumped around in a startlingly similar matter. "Somebody get the midwife! I think he's going into labor! Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no—"

"Lightning!" Fire exclaimed, staring at him incredulously. "There's a time and place for stupidity! I highly doubt that this is it!"

"Whaddawedo?" Lightning hollered, not really listening to the brunette. "Whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawedo whaddawe_do_—?"

"CBR!" Ocean interjected fervently, getting to his knees. "I saw dis od DV! You lay hib dowd od his bag—"

"There's something wrong with my head!" Roark interrupted insanely, eyes wide with terror behind glasses that had fogged up again. "_My head is hurting and I'm going to die and WHY IS IT NOT GOING AWAY AND ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!_"

"... Of gourse, usually de vigdib doesd'd thrash aroudd," Ocean added nervously, as the miner started doing just that. "Uh, galb dowd, Roarg. Roarg? Dabbid, he's dod listeding. ROARG, SDOB BOVING LIGE DAD OR I BIGHD HAVE DO HID YOU. ARE YOU LISTEDING? YOU'RE DOD BAGING DIS ADY EASIER OD YOURSELF! JUSD SDOB SGREABING LIGE A LIDDLE GIRL OR LIGHDDING, AD DAGE A DEEB BREATH!"

"Ocean, stop it!" Leaf snapped, her heart pounding as if it were about to smash its way out of her rib cage. The gym seemed to swirl around her in an echoing cacophony of fear and horror and worry, and she shuddered. "He can't hear you, so just shut up!"

"Bud I gad'd do CBR od hib if he's doing dis!" Ocean protested, grabbing the miner by the shoulders and pushing him toward the ground with enormous effort, where he stayed mostly face-up, besides the obvious and ungainly thrashing. "Dow loog, od DV id was mosdly lige dis: the bersod leads over de vigdib, lige so ..." He lowered his face to Roark's, trying to lock on to his mouth.

Abruptly they were all startled by the Pokedex's sudden laughter. _"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_ it guffawed, snickering from Leaf's handbag. _"I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE HIDING SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN THAT CLOSET, SPIKEHEAD! WHAT'D I TELL YOU GUYS, HE'S AS STRAIGHT AS A CIRCLE AND MAKE NO MISTAKE—"_

"STOP IT!" Leaf hollered, looking down to glare at it. A small movement caught her eye as she did, and she looked up to see the strange tanned woman, sitting and watching them with slightly narrowed eyes.

Almost as if she were concentrating.

"I swear to Arceus," Leaf declared furiously, marching toward the woman with a murderously fast pace, "if you're trying to _kill_ him for some damned reason, you won't know what hit your freaking tan face when I'm through with you!"

"Calm down," the woman said quietly, but in a voice of powerful boldness.

"_'Calm down'?_ Is that a _joke?_ You're—!"

"Leaf, I can't deal with you at the moment," the woman interrupted a bit sharply, never taking her eyes off the scene. "I've saving him from himself."

Leaf paused. "What?"

"Living a lie can kill you. That's what he's been doing, even though he doesn't know it. I have no idea how it could be in his head that long without one of us noticing, or even how the perpetrator could have put it there without getting our attention. Leave a dream like that in someone's brain for too long, and it starts twisting around its folds in strange ways ... of course it's going to hurt him. He'd have to have an IQ of ten or below for this not to. At least I nipped _your_ misguided thought in the bud now, as opposed to a less convenient time."

The girl stared at her. "What are you _talking_ about?"

"Now's not the time for explaining."

"Damn right it's the time for explaining! You just tell me what's going on, or—"

There was a sudden, surprising silence behind her. Turning, Leaf saw to her astonishment that Roark had rolled over on his side. For some completely random reason, he had abruptly fallen fast asleep. Ocean hastily put his ear by the miner's slightly open mouth to make sure he was breathing — which he was, though his breaths were ragged and uneven. Anni still stared, completely and utterly frozen.

The abrupt calm was infinitely more eerie than the screams. It echoed around them in a deep stillness, the ghosts of noises still bouncing in her mind and chilling her to the bone. And yet her heart fluttered happily as she watched Roark's unconscious form, his expression almost peaceful. _He's okay! ... Right?_

"Dreams always start with sleep," the woman remarked behind her. "And so they end that way, too. He'll live, but he might freak out a bit trying to reconcile with himself. But _your_ problem—"

"What problem?" Leaf snapped, swiveling around again.

"—has already been dealt with by me," the woman finished. Having finished her strange concentration, she turned to face the girl, eyes flashing. "Leaf, I'm sorry. I know that you trusted so much in her, but you had to be disillusioned sometime—"

"WILL YOU QUIT TALKING IN CIRCLES AND JUST GET TO THE DAMN POINT ALREADY?"

The woman didn't even flinch. "Look behind me," she sighed, "and see how you've been deceived. I'll see you outside." She turned and started for the door, glancing over her shoulder.

"...Weirdo," Leaf muttered, watching her go. "Why am I listening to a freaky lady? And how does she know my name, anyway? She must be one of those stalkers. Cobalt could take a couple lessons from her."

Then she looked ahead to the pool, and froze as she saw the truth.

Team Waterflower was climbing out of the pool, sopping wet; the young women were handling the dazed Romeo carefully, murmuring comforting words to the dazed Luvdisc. Near them, Wennett was staring in utter shock and disbelief at Paris, who flopped up out of the pool cheerfully, giggling. The pool and surrounding concrete were littered with stray indigo scales, scattered like flower petals. The second skin floated in the water, translucent and radiating a deathly, chilling beauty, like an exotic snakeskin. The large hole in the thing's back marked the place where Paris's shining silver shell had been. In the midst of all the blue water and indigo scales, it took Leaf a moment to catch sight of Paris. Then a strange, Lapras-shaped silhouette moved against the water, and Leaf gasped in utter horror when she realized that it was not a silhouette at all.

Because — the reality pounded choppily in heavy waves through her disbelieving mind — Paris was the color of the rippling water behind her.

Not indigo.

Not.

Shiny.

At.

All.


	16. It's a Blunderful Life

My thanks to you, reviewers. This stuff is old, but that doesn't mean constructive crit isn't appreciated. :D

And yes, I strongly suspect that genetics don't really work that way. Or perhaps Wennett is acting like the blonde he is.

* * *

Chapter Sixteen: It's a Blunderful Life (The Twist in Fate!)

"You're ... _not_ ... shiny?" Leaf asked finally, in a strained voice. The room seemed to spin around her, shattering and melting as her former security in that one fact — I have a shiny Lapras, I'm so cool! — dissolved before her eyes. How could she face the world without that satisfying knowledge?

"What's shiny, Mommy?" Paris asked cutely, making Peach facepalm.

"Fascinating!" Wennett breathed, watching the Lapras intently. "This must be some sort of genetic mutation! The genes which affected alternate coloration were found only in her second skin! What a discovery ..."

"Leaf?" Lightning's voice distantly wafted toward her from somewhere. "Leaf, are you okay?"

She couldn't hear them. The blood pounding painfully in her ears was too loud.

"Mommy?" Paris repeated, tilting her head a little to the side.

The girl shuddered. "I ... I have to be alone for a while. This is just too ... too ... I don't know." Shaking her head, she slung her handbag over her shoulder and headed towards the doors which she had entered through not too long ago, embarrassed but in a better mood overall.

"I'll come!" Paris exclaimed happily, bounding after her trainer.

"I mean _really_ alone," Leaf said a bit sharply, surprising the young Lapras. "That means you stay here, Paris. Understand?"

"...Yes, Mommy," Paris agreed sulkily.

_"You are _never_ aloooooone,"_ the Pokedex put in eerily, but Leaf ignored it. Instead she walked away, not looking back, shoes hitting the concrete softly as she brushed through the doors and out of sight, as if in a dream.

The strange woman waited on the other side, sharp eyes widening as the girl appeared. "Leaf, I'm sorry. I needed to speed the process of the shedding. You had to know—"

"Leave me alone," the girl muttered, stalking away.

"I had no choice!"

"I TOLD YOU," Leaf exploded, swiveling around to glare at her, "TO LEAVE ME ALONE! HOW HARD CAN THAT BE TO UNDERSTAND?"

Silver eyes flashed dangerously as the woman matched Leaf's gaze. For a moment she seemed about to give some cold and threatening warning about impudence to elders and other such things. But then, to Leaf's surprise, she lowered her head slightly in a nod. "Forgive me," she said, sounding almost humbled. "I shouldn't lecture while you're distraught. Take some time to come to terms with reality. I will find you when you're ready."

"Ready for what?" the girl asked bitterly.

But the woman had already swept past, navigating around the untidy furniture with ease and exiting gracefully through the main doors.

"... Is something wrong?" a voice behind her asked uncertainly. Leaf glanced over her shoulder briefly to see Misty watching her, tapping her fingers anxiously on the phone sitting on the receptionist's desk.

The brunette sighed, turned, and stormed dejectedly towards the exit, ignoring the gym leader's concern. The sun, perched directly above the earth in its glorious noontime position, illuminated the park around her and the gleaming buildings of the city beyond. The woman was nowhere to be seen, but, as Leaf marched down the path back into the urban environment of Cerulean, the sounds of approaching sirens filled the air with their cacophonous wailing.

But the girl couldn't see whether they were in range of vision yet. Her eyes were squeezed shut in horror; but when she heard the skid of tires and the slamming of doors, the hasty rustling of people rushing past her with a rattling gurney, and the curious, half-hostile tone of their questioning voices, she was sure that, if they saw her as they ran, they wouldn't be wondering who she was, why this girl was just moving like a sleepwalker.

No, they'd be wondering why a single, glittering tear had forced its way past her eyelids, soaking her dark lashes in despair.

* * *

"Out of the way, out of the way!" a person in white exclaimed, bursting heroically through the doors with his gurney. Several other people rushed in after him, with Misty bringing up the rear, but they all skidded to a halt when they took a second look at the situation: the snoozing miner surrounded by three noobs, a curious electric mouse, and a horrified-looking dinosaur.

"The victim is ... sleeping?" asked a female doctor uncertainly.

"Sssh! Dod'd wage hib ub!" Ocean whisper-screamed, waving them back.

"Ocean," Fire said wearily, getting up from his kneeling position, "these are _doctors_. I think we'll have a better chance of helping him if we _let_ them wake him up."

The spiky-haired boy blinked. "... Oh."

A doctor approached the unconscious form, frowning slightly as he knelt to examine the situation. "'Scuse me, pardon me, need to check him here. Respiration?" he muttered, leaning forward until his ear was over Roark's mouth. "Normal, though a tad uneven. Pulse?" He put two fingers against the pale neck, and felt the blood pound rhythmically under the skin. "Normal ..."

"That was creepy," Peach commented. She nuzzled Lightning, feeling him still tremble slightly. "I hope that never happens to you, sweetie."

He patted her head reassuringly, not understanding a word she was saying.

"... And normal," the doctor finished. He faced the other doctors, looking puzzled. "I'm not really sure what happened here," he admitted. "He seems perfectly fine. He's only a bit tense, and he's perspired quite a bit, which are usual symptoms of going into shock, or a seizure ... but people don't recover that fast from either of those, so ..."

The medical personnel looked thoughtful at this news. "That _is_ odd," another doctor commented unnecessarily. "I suppose we should figure out who his parents are, and—"

"Don't call 'im," a sleepy voice mumbled.

Everyone jumped at the unexpected sound. Surprised, the boys swiveled around to see Roark yawning and stretching. He pushed himself into a sitting expression, eyes tired and half-open.

"You okay, son?" the doctor beside him asked concernedly.

"Yeah," the boy replied, although Lightning noticed he had tensed slightly at the word "son". "I'm alright, just a bit tired ... wait, what happened?"

"You fell for sobe reasod," Ocean explained, in the understatement of the year.

The doctor shook his head in wonder. "This is very odd ... Hang on for a moment, and I'll try to search up for whoever your parents are. They should know about this incident ..." He paused to rummage through the pockets of his white coat, looking for something.

"Don't contact him."

"Excuse me?" The doctor looked up, irritated by the young man's tone. As a rule, doctors work best as a team, as efficient and smooth as clockwork. Civilians who felt like they had something to say about the way things worked were rather like chewing gum stuck between the interlocking gears. It was difficult to get things back up to speed, and it wasn't easy to get rid of indignant civilians, either. Nothing annoyed doctors more than people who got in the way of whatever they were doing.

But he froze at the sight of those eyes. They were gazing sternly at him, burning with a cold and harsh light that made his skin crawl. _Don't argue with me,_ they seemed to say, _or else you will be very, very sorry._

Several small things, cold and circular, were pushed unobtrusively into the doctor's hand. His fingers tentatively traced one of their surfaces, and his eyes widened when he realized how many zeroes were there.

"Do _not_," Roark repeated firmly, retracting his own hand, "contact my father."

The doctor swallowed. He knew better than to turn down such a good bribe, especially one from such a unnerving person, even though the ethics of doctoral honesty wailed at him not to. "Er, of course not." Standing, he returned to the rest of the doctors, waving at them to follow him. "He's eighteen," he explained to them, pocketing the coins with the faintest _cli_-_clink_. "People that age don't need parental contact when injured. We're done here."

His companions nodded, though still looking slightly confused. They followed him through the doors, vanishing beyond the gym's perimeters with the slight echoing of footsteps as they returned to the waiting ambulance outside.

There was a moment of uncertain silence.

"... You're dod really eighdeed, are you?" Ocean asked finally, making everyone else facepalm.

"I'll just pretend I didn't hear that ..." Roark said, edging away from him. He looked over at Anni, who was staring at him with wide red eyes and shivering slightly. "Anni? Are you okay?"

For a moment she just watched him, not moving. Then, with alarming swiftness, she leapt at him, colliding with him painfully as she locked her stubby arms around his neck and sobbed miserably.

"OOF! Anni, Anni, what's wrong? Everything's fine—"

"No it's n-not!" she wailed, burying her face into his shoulder. "I c-couldn't do anything! I just st-stood there, and you could've d-died! Then we'd b-be all alone, fending for ourselves, or worse! I c-can't even protect my own trainer!" Out of breath, she inhaled sharply, before dissolving into tears again.

"Oh, Anni," he sighed, shaking his head. Hugging her comfortingly, he rocked back and forth slightly, trying to calm her. "It's all okay now. There's nothing to worry about; whatever happened is over. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does!" she protested shakily. "You could have _died_!"

"But I didn't."

"But you could've!"

"I don't think you'd have been able to do anything about it, anyway."

"I should've at least tried!"

"Anni, I'm not blaming you for anything! You were just startled when it happened, that's all. I'm not hurt, so it's okay."

"B-but I was so _scared_," she sobbed, surprising him. She had to be feeling strongly about this, he knew, if she could unbend her pride that far to admit her fear.

"I know," he agreed, squeezing her gently. "I was scared, too."

They were silent for a second, as the echoes of their voices bounced hollowly against the walls of the gym before fading. With a start, he realized he was trembling just as hard as she was.

But it fell upon Ocean to break the mood, as usual. "Waid," he said, confused. "You gad uddersdadd her?"

The other boys facefaulted at his slow insight.

"Romeo ..." someone muttered. Looking over his shoulder, Lightning saw Team Waterflower huddled together, gazing at the Luvdisc.

"He's asleep and lost in dreamland!" Lily said dramatically.

"Romeo, Romeo," Daisy crooned, "wherefore art thou, my manly Romeo?"

"STOP CALLING HER ROMEO!" Misty yelled at them.

"But it's his name!" Violet protested.

"JUST TAKE HIM — I MEAN, TAKE HER TO THE POKEMON CENTER! DON'T JUST STAND THERE LIKE BRAINLESS GEESE!"

"Hey!" Daisy said indignantly. "Don't call us that! We're not geese!"

"Oh, for ... go already, will you?"

"Rooooomeooooo ..." the bikini-clad girls intoned mystically as they carried the fish through the door-flaps and out of sight.

Misty sweatdropped. "They are so damn weird ..." She turned back toward the group, but almost tripped over the grinning Lapras in front of her. "What—? Holy mother of Darkrai, weren't you shiny ten minutes ago?"

At the sound of her words Roark and Anni glanced around, their disbelieving shock showing clearly on their faces.

"I don't believe she was ever actually shiny," Wennett commented, much to everyone's surprise; they had completely forgotten he was there until he had spoken up. "It's likely just a genetic abnormality in that skin. But beneath it, on her normal, post-infant coat of scales, she's just an ordinary Lapras."

Fire raised an eyebrow. "Well, beauty _is_ only skin deep."

"Hmm." Misty patted Paris on the head distractedly. "This is all very odd. What happened, exactly?"

With a sigh, Lightning began to explain the events which had been in motion during her absence. The acoustics of the gym magnified his words, giving them a surprising larger-than-life quality; as he spoke, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, as a strange thrill swept over him.

A moment of silence passed after he had finished, as the echoes died into nothingness and only the lapping waters of the pool, together with Anni's hitched breathing, could be heard. Wordlessly, Misty reached down and picked up a random indigo scale, examining it closely. Then she glanced up at Roark, an orange eyebrow raised. "I guess rolling on the floor screaming is manly in your opinion."

He looked away. "Well ..."

"Miss," Wennett cut in, speaking of course to Misty, "do you suppose that Leaf could have headed north, toward the Cape?"

Misty froze. "To the Cape? Oh, if she did ..."

"What Cape?" Fire asked, frowning.

"Cerulean Cape. It's an area full of beaches and forests, and a couple hotels scattered conveniently around. Basically your average tourist trap. But Bill also lives up there in his stupid cottage, where he researches stuff. He's a bit ... what's the word I'm looking for—?"

"Evil?" Lightning asked in an attempt to be helpful. "Crazy?"

"Mm ... eccentric," Misty said finally. "That's the one. But he's also sort of a genius. If Leaf runs into him, she might get hit with all sorts of terrible things. Calculus, for example. Or microbiology, or any other foreign concept he's studying at the moment. I suppose we should save her from brain implosion."

"Indeed," Wennett agreed, nodding. "I'll make sure the rest of the day is clear of appointments, miss. I don't believe there are any battles scheduled for this afternoon ..." He turned and swept away, brushing aside the doors with ease.

Ocean frowned. "Bud we dod'd deed do go charging afder her if dad's all she'd have do worry aboud."

"That's right," Misty agreed. "But he tends to get caught up in sharing his interests with people. In fact, he might even show her one of his latest projects." She blanched.

"... Dad's bad, righd?"

"Bad like you wouldn't believe."

"Miss!" Wennett stuck his head through the doors. "You have an email, miss! Would you like to read it now, or—?"

"Now's a good time," Misty decided briskly, heading towards him. Behind her, the boys got up to do the same, looking a bit uncertain. Still shivering slightly, Anni scrambled up onto Roark's shoulders, and he gritted his teeth at her weight.

In the waiting room, the gym leader approached the computer sitting on the receptionist's desk; an annoying pop-up flashed on its screen, announcing that someone had emailed her. Next to her, Wennett checked some sort of memo pad, while the boys emerged shivering from the gym; they had already gotten used to its steaming, chlorinated atmosphere, and tiny droplets of moisture clung to their clothes.

"Oh," Misty said softly, instantly causing everyone else to look at her. "He's been ... oh dear ..."

Leaning over the counter, Lightning craned his neck around to see the message.

_Hey Misty,_

_Guess what, I'm on the edge of a HUGE scientific breakthrough! WHOOOOHOO! It should work out hopefully, but if I start acting really weird, like crazy or something, then there's a bottle of white stuff in the fridge that you'll have to make me drink. (It's not my "special stuff", LOL!) But it'll probably be fine. Big experiment = awesomely famous me! Stay awesome!_

_Bill_

Lightning blinked. "Um ... he likes exclamation marks, doesn't he?"

"The last experiment Bill did," Misty said tightly, fists clenched, "he almost blew up half the Cape. And that was a _normal_ experiment. Normal for him, anyway. Dammit, dammit, dammit. This is NOT GOOD."

"Oh do!" Ocean exclaimed worriedly. "We deed do gatch ub do her! Bill bighd do sobeting drasdig do her, lige durd her iddo a boy!"

He started to bolt off in a random direction, only to trip and fall ungracefully over Roark's outstretched foot.

"You can't go anywhere on your own," the miner sighed, as the spiky-haired boy smashed awkwardly into the carpet. "That's a pity."

"Wennett, you stay here," Misty ordered, although she was forced to stifle a snicker at Ocean's pained face. "Keep an eye on the Lapras while we're gone. I don't know if Leaf can handle the sight of her at the moment. And if my sisters come back, keep her away from them. I don't want the poor thing to get brainwashed by their stupidity."

"Yes, miss."

"Come on, the rest of you." She darted around the desk and out the door, with the bemused boys following close behind.

* * *

_I was wrong._

A breeze, heavy with the pungent scent of sea salt, tossed Leaf's hair half-heartedly. Pausing to glance over the railing, she barely registered the storm clouds looming above the water's surface far off in the distance. All she knew was that the chillingly sharp rocks sticking up out of the water below looked disturbingly inviting.

_I thought she was special,_ she thought defeatedly, her eyes feeling weighted down with unshed tears. It was supposed to mean something, finding her. _It was supposed to_ mean _something!_

The dull edges of an indigo scale cut into the palm of her clenched fist. She couldn't remember picking the scale up at all, but she knew that this was all that remained of the Pokemon who had been her pride and joy. Unbidden, the words Oak had spoken prior to their departure drifted to the surface of her mind. _"A shiny egg ... they say that people who find one of those are 'chosen' or something along those lines ..."_

_But I'm not chosen. I'm not special at all. And she's not either._

Memories of Paris's smiling eyes, gleaming from an indigo face, flashed before her eyes in a poisonously painful montage. As a baby, curiousity shining there at feeling a human's touch for the first time ... in the forest, wide with delighted excitement as she defeated Fire's Drowzee with ease ... their excited flash as she stood in the street beside her father, small against the menacing shadow of Tyran.

_We've been through so much in such a short time, I thought nothing could shake my love for her. Would I still be so protective of her, so loving, if she hadn't appeared to be shiny from the start?_

She thought of her radiant delight at the sight of the newly hatched Lapras, stumbling clumsily over her own indigo flippers. Then the mental image shattered and reconstructed itself into a different scene: a blue Paris standing in the dark, helpless and alone, whimpering pitifully in fear as a shadow advanced toward her, claws menacing.

And she felt nothing.

_I never loved her,_ she realized numbly. _It wasn't love. It was satisfied greed, and pride in having such a valuable pet to fawn over. But she's worth nothing now._

The thought stung more than she had anticipated. Shaking her head to clear it, she turned from the railing and returned her gaze to Nugget Bridge, which stretched from beneath her feet to the land on the other side of the small inlet. A few trainers were standing at random intervals on the bridge, looking bored. But she had never in her life had any less desire to battle, and she uncertainly hoped that the expression on her face would deter them.

"Oh hiya!" exclaimed the nearest trainer, a dirty little boy who was holding a net for some reason; having noticed her, he bounded in her direction eagerly, reaching for a Poke Ball.

_Apparently not._

"Kid, I don't want to battle," she snapped darkly, looking for a way to get past him.

He blinked. "Oh. Well, that's too bad. Because I _do_ want to battle!" He then guffawed heartily, as if he had just said the funniest thing in the world.

Leaf just stared at him.

"Oh, and here are my Pokemon who you'll fight!" he exclaimed, unleashing a Caterpie and a Weedle. The familiar bug shapes entered a couple of battle stances which aimed at being frightening, but failed miserably.

The girl, in response, did nothing.

"Aw, come on!" the boy pouted, putting his hands on his hips. "Don't be a sore loser before you've even lost!"

For a moment Leaf's eyes flashed dangerously, as the boy's words brought Paris to mind again. Then, her expression still stony, she unleashed her other two Pokemon. "Beat everyone on the bridge if you have to," she ordered them, turning back to watch the bleak weather forming on the horizon.

Frosti was staring at her incredulously even before he had fully materialized. "Geez, what's with her?"

"Mmph," Cheri said unconcernedly, looking over at the caterpillar Pokemon opposite them.

"Pfft. Girls these days. Ow, watch it!"

"Oh, sorry!" giggled the Weedle, who had just rammed his horn into Frosti's foot.

"Funny, you don't _sound_ sorry," the Charmander growled, before blasting the little bug with an Ember. Squealing in pain, the Weedle staggered backward, only to trip and fall over Cheri's timely String Shot, smashing into his ally the Caterpie. The two caterpillars groaned as they hit the bridge, unconscious.

"... No!" the boy said predictably. "My Pokemon cannot be fainted! They are the most powerful creatures in the entire world!"

Frosti snickered as the boy stalked away. The lizard then picked up Cheri, who seemed completely indifferent to this, and began to walk further down the bridge while carrying her.

Only to be halted by the next trainer, a girl whose sudden appearance made Frosti jump. "Oh hi! You're Pokemon, aren't you?"

The Charmander blinked. "... Wow. Way to fail."

"You're so cute!" the girl squealed, making it obvious that she hadn't understood him. "I think I'll battle you! Go, Pidgey!"

"Yeah! Twin fliers activate!" exclaimed a small bird as it burst from its Poke Ball. The brown Pokemon had a cream-colored belly and wing-tips, and black markings emphasized sharp eyes. She spread her wings, catching the wind and doing a backflip excitedly.

_"Oh my goodness. It's the little winged rat that we all know and hate!"_ Even at a distance, the smarmy voice of Leaf's Pokedex, sticking haughtily out of her handbag, was unmistakable. _"You know, girl, you need to cheer up. So pay attention to me, dammit! Pidgey, the Really Dumb Pokemon. Gender is Female. Height is Not Tall, Weight is Not Heavy, because having a brain would make it weigh a lot, you know? These buggers are gentle and prefer not to fight. THOSE PACIFIST FREAKS. But it also has an incredible sense of direction, which can be really useful for them, because then when they have to fight, they can easily find their way home to their mommies, the imbeciles! And by the way, these things are EVERYWHERE. In fact, I can't believe we haven't seen any of these maniacs yet! People usually can't go two feet without tripping over eighty of them!"_

"That thing stabbed at my honor!" the Pidgey exclaimed, spreading her wings even further in an attempt to look more powerful. "Time to heal my wounded ego with the wounded foe! KAMIKAZE BIRD AHOY!"

"Eh?" Frosti grunted confusedly, only to gasp as the bird's Tackle knocked the wind out of him. He dropped Cheri, who landed with a soft clatter onto the bridge, although she did not look particularly bothered by this.

"The kamikaze failed?" the Pidgey said disbelievingly, jumping into flight again and hovering over the fallen Charmander. "Impossible! I was sure that the mystical Selfdestruct technique would have taken hold by now!"

Frosti stared at her. "You can't be serious."

"Mmph."

The Charmander glanced over at Cheri, who had somehow gotten herself into an upright position. The Kakuna extended one of her stinger-like arms to point at him, then at the Pidgey, and finally at herself. Realizing what she meant, Frosti jumped to his feet, ready for action.

"Quick, Pidgey!" the bird's trainer exclaimed, bouncing up and down excitedly. "Hit him with Gust while he's down!"

"I _am_ serious!" the Pidgey protested at Frosti, unaware that he was edging slyly towards her. "You can't _not_ be serious about the kamikaze! But enough of this, for it's time to demonstrate that the wind gives me SUPER STRENGTH!"

She began to flap her wings rapidly, summoning a wind that buffeted at Frosti's body; but the lizard, gritting his teeth against the onslaught, leapt into the air and grabbed her clawed feet in a death grip, startling her out of her Gust. Shrieking in shock, the Pidgey fluttered frantically in an attempt to yank herself free, but Frosti's weight, together with the element of surprise, allowed him to tow her down; descending back to the bridge, he flung her feathery body downward to Cheri.

Quick as a wink, the golden cocoon extended her two stingers, just in time for the hapless Pidgey to land right on top of them. Blood spurted freely as the stingers gored the soft, feathery body like hot knives sinking into butter, and the Pidgey let loose an agonized cry, her wide eyes staring into Cheri's dark, impassive ones. She jerked one way, then another as dangerous poison was pumped painfully into her body.

"Pidgey!" the trainer exclaimed in horror, fumbling for the right Poke Ball.

"Kamikaze ... failed ..." the Pidgey moaned distantly, before she was absorbed into a beam of red light. The trainer, not even sparing Leaf's Pokemon a glance, darted back at full speed to Cerulean, probably in hopes of finding a Pokemon Center.

Frosti met Cheri's eyes. "I'd high-five you, but dead teammates probably aren't your favorite kind," he said nervously.

"Mmmmmph," Cheri replied indifferently.

"Run away!" someone screamed. Looking up, Frosti was astonished to see two of the trainers ahead sprinting away from them, looking utterly terrified. "The demon bug is going to kill us all! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Looking after the vanishing humans, the Charmander raised an imaginary eyebrow. "'Demon bug'? I always knew you were evil, Cheri," he commented, amused.

The remaining trainer, who appeared to be a boy scout of some sort, pulled up his pants haughtily as he began to march toward the Pokemon. "I won't run away! Not from you! It's my civic duty to keep things like you under control!"

"Things, are we?" Frosti muttered, good humor quickly evaporating. "You're going down, kid!"

"It's time to take action!" the boy scout continued dramatically, unleashing a Pokemon. "Mankey, bring these two to justice!"

"Justice!" echoed the new Pokemon as he materialized. He had a cream-colored, almost perfectly round body, sporting pointed ears, lanky arms and legs. A brown-tipped tail that lashed furiously to and fro as he examined his opponents. His pig-like nose twitched as he caught their scent, and his eyes narrowed even further.

_"Leaf, get over yourself,"_ the Pokedex yawned, to no avail. _"Oh look, another ugly fatty. Mankey, the Butterball Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Ugly Little Man, Weight is Holy Crap What A Chunk Of Flab. Mankey is the ultimate bipolar Pokemon. One minute it's normal — as normal as a blubbery monkey can be, anyway — but the next it's a complete maniac! It goes into a rage and starts attacking everything in sight! Which, incidentally, makes it rather like Leaf ..."_

"Not really," Leaf muttered, barely listening.

_"That was supposed to make you go into an explosive rage and prove my point. Wow, you're so helpful. NOT."_

The Mankey began breathing heavily through his nose, eyes burning with sheer rage. He locked gazes with Frosti, and the Charmander gasped when he realized that those eyes were actually changing: they narrowed into slits, starting to glow an eerie red, before abruptly opening as wide as they could go. They were almost completely covered by their unnaturally dilated pupils, and Frosti shuddered in horror at the sight.

"Great Leer, Mankey!" the boy scout cheered. "Now use Focus Energy while he's distracted!"

"Distracted," Mankey repeated, sounding overly furious. He blinked slowly to clear his eyes before taking a deep breath, flexing his fingers ominously.

Cheri watched the scene serenely. Taking advantage of the moment, she stiffened her shining golden shell, making it glint even more in the sun. Then she stiffened it again; she had no desire to let this savage damage her forming body within.

Meanwhile Frosti, still shivering, began to cough, a dry, hacking sound that startled everyone but Cheri. For a moment his body convulsed with the involuntary movement, but abruptly he finished his fit with an especially nasty wheeze, and a stream of gray smoke spewed from his open mouth. It hovered in front of Mankey's face, forming into an annoying, semi-transparent cloud.

"That's Smokescreen for you," Frosti said with a smirk, straightening and looking proud at using the move for the first time.

"Ignore it, Mankey!" the boy scout cried shrilly, and the Pokemon snorted violently at the strong stench of smoke surrounding it. "Go in close to the Charmander so you can't miss, and hit it with Karate Chop!"

"Karate Chop!" the Mankey echoed, scrambling in closer in spite of the cloud that was making his eyes water. Then, in a lightning-fast movement, he brought his fingers together and slammed his hand down onto Frosti's head.

"OW! Cut it out, you savage!" Frosti snapped irritably, wincing.

Suddenly, unbidden, a snatch of words from a battle long ago came back to him, in a rush of far-off memory: _"Iron Tail is inaccurate, and therefore, unreliable ..." But I'm close this time!_ he thought, _so if I really focus, I'll hit him!_ Without further ado, he summoned the metallic power to his tail. In an instant he felt its uncomfortable weight bear it down, but he forced himself to swing it in a swift arc, concentrating his attention solely on hitting the Mankey.

He was rewarded with the feel of his tail hitting a coarse-furred body and an audible thump, as the savage primate was flung backward with a surprised yowl, before hitting the bridge with a satisfactory squeal of pain.

"What? No!" the boy scout shouted, glaring as Frosti's tail resumed its normal orange color. "I cannot lose! This is an outrage!"

"Outrage!" Mankey repeated, drawing himself up to stand as tall as he could. Then he deflated and turned to his trainer, saying, "But I do not know Outrage."

The boy scout blinked. "Why are you just standing there saying 'Mank maaank'?" he asked angrily. "Hit that Kakuna with Karate Chop!"

"Karate Chop!" the primate said robotically, swiveling around and bringing his hand down hard on the unmoving cocoon. Frosti watched incredulously as the momentum of the Mankey's movement involuntarily brought additional power to the arm's swing, and he gasped, realizing that this would cause the chop to deal far more damage than normal.

But the boy scout did not take into account that Cheri had been patiently Hardening herself the entire time, not to mention the general ineffectiveness of Fighting moves against her kind. As such, the Mankey smashed his hand into her shell only to realize in dismay that in spite of all the power applied, the warm golden coating remained as firm and unscathed as ever. Then he looked down and discovered his hand was broken.

"Hand," he spat, before turning angrily to his trainer. "My hand is broken! You will fix it by allowing me to bury it in your flesh!"

"Don't use that tone of voice with me!" the boy scout shot back angrily, but he stepped back when the monkey's eyes took on a bloodthirsty glow. "No! Get away from me, you freak!"

The Mankey leapt at him, growling; in terror the human fled down the length of the bridge, screeching in a very un-scout-like manner.

Leaf didn't even look up.

"You're welcome," Frosti shot sourly, glaring at her unmoving slouch before turning. "Hey ... there's another guy coming up the bridge now. Hope he doesn't want to battle," he added unhappily. He didn't like to admit it, but fighting three battles in a row, even with Cheri, took a toll on him.

"Are you the trainer of those Pokemon?" the lanky teenager asked Leaf as he approached, pointing at Frosti and Cheri without looking at them. His hair was getting whipped around by the wind, and he had a cloak wrapped around himself for some reason.

The girl just shrugged.

"Their performance was fascinating," the teenager went on, taking that as a yes. "You must be a great trainer. In fact, here's a prize which I think you deserve." He pulled a shining gold orb seemingly out of nowhere, which glinted blindingly in the sun, throwing enchanting flecks of light against everything. Frosti gasped at the sight of such unexpected beauty.

For the first time Leaf slowly looked around to fix her unfeeling gaze on the Nugget. "The last time I got something valuable," she said tonelessly, "it turned out to be nothing but fake."

"But it's real!" the other spluttered, looking scandalized at the idea that he was trying to give her some painted rock. "I've weighed it and everything! Now take it!" he ordered, shoving it into her hand.

Frosti watched as Leaf tightened her grip on the Nugget without looking at it. For a moment he thought that she was going to turn and throw it far out into the waters of the inlet; but then she simply tightened her grip on it slightly, her face as expressionless as ever.

"Excellent!" the teenager exclaimed, beaming. He then spun rapidly in place, in appeared to be an impromptu ballet; when he abruptly skidded to a stop, however, he had mysteriously ditched his cloak, revealing a black uniform with a bright red "R" blazing on his shirt. "And now, I have a proposition for you. I represent a segment of the population which doesn't get the respect it deserves ... but it might if you join us. And by us, I mean the great Team Rocket! We need trainers like you, you know, so will you join our ranks and become part of one of the greatest endeavors of the century?"

The girl shrugged. "Sure."

_"What?"_

He looked taken aback. "Really?"

"Mm. I don't even care anymore. Whatever happens to me won't make me anything special," she said in a dead voice.

The Rocket grunt deflated. "But your heart needs to be in it if you'll join! If you cheer up, then—"

"FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY, I SEE!"

He swiveled around to see the gangly figure of Elvis standing beside him, having appeared quite without warning. Snatching the precious stone from Leaf's unresisting hand, the famous rock star gave the grunt The Look, and the latter suddenly realized that this was none other than his own beloved (for want of a better term) admin. "Wait," he said, puzzled. "You mean ... _this_ is the one with the shiny Lapras?"

"Exactly. Now go back to camp this instant."

"But ..." The grunt scrunched his face up in confusion. "But I thought you were going to ambush her on the way to the gym!"

"I was," Cobalt agreed grudgingly, "but Phlash took so long ripping up that stupid crown that when I reached the hospital, they'd already left. It was impossible to reach them fast enough to ambush them properly, so I started heading back to camp to make sure Gina hadn't blown everything up. Now go."

"But—"

"Go!"

"Yeah, go!" chirped a familiar voice at Cobalt's feet. Phlash poked her head up from behind his ankles, staring at him eerily.

The grunt shrugged and ran off in a hurry, secretly glad that the admin hadn't punished him for almost losing the Nugget. He still thought the girl needed it more than Team Rocket, anyway.

"So," Cobalt said, glaring at Leaf.

The girl, however, had returned her gaze to the distant ocean beyond the inlet. The sun was beginning to vanish behind the approaching cloud cover, but the day's stifling heat still lingered oppressively. Frosti wondered vaguely if the weather was an incidental reflection of his trainer's current attitude.

"... Well, aren't you going to fight?" Cobalt asked tersely, starting to turn red as he realized that the argument he had been looking forward to wasn't going to come easily, if at all. _Wait, "looking forward to"? Where did _that _come from?_ He frowned at the thought.

Leaf still didn't reply.

"At least say my outfit looks stupid, or something!" the admin demanded, preferring a confrontational approach to a cold stillness. Plus, he wanted a good excuse to battle her. Nothing pleased him more than beating a foe in an unfair fight, after all.

Only silence greeted him.

"Ugh. Well, if you're not going to argue, then just hand over the Lapras!" he snapped, stretching out his hand as if he actually expected her to give him the sea serpent's Poke Ball.

"The Lapras." Leaf turned away from the railing and stared at him, expression as dead as ever. "Do you really want the Lapras? After all the trouble she's caused me, and you, and everyone we've met this whole time?"

Cobalt actually flinched. Though the girl's face remained numbly unemotional, her voice oozed with unanticipated venom.

"If you want her, then you can have what's left of her!" she spat darkly, shoving the scale she held into his hand. "She won't mean as little to you as she does to me, anyway!"

Then, turning sharply from him, she stalked away, feet echoing hollowly as she traversed the bridge. Frosti blinked at her sudden departure, then bent down to pick up Cheri, who was still as detached as ever.

Cobalt stared at her, then looked down at the glimmering scale in his hand, then back up at her shrinking form again. "Is the Lapras okay?" he asked Frosti uncertainly, wondering what on earth Leaf's enigmatic outburst could mean.

Frosti glared at him automatically. "Of course she is," he said, though uncertainty dulled the sharpness of his words. Clearly he was just as confused about the girl's behavior.

The tall human nodded distractedly as Frosti began to follow his trainer, staggering slightly at Cheri's weight. Then he returned his gaze to the scale, running a finger along its edge, and smirked as an idea came to him. If Rocket technology was as good as the Boss and his scientists claimed it to be, he might not need the Lapras herself to complete the mission. The scale would have the adequate genetic material to create another one just like her!

"Weird Hair Guy, your grin is really weird," Phlash commented hypocritically, tongue lolling out of her mouth. She glanced over to the girl, who was stepping off the bridge and rounding the corner, vanishing from sight; the Charmander and his buggy baggage followed close behind. "Aren't we gonna chase them or something? I wanna bite the lizard, we didn't finish our fight when the city blew up."

"We don't need to," he told her, pocketing the scale with a feeling of fierce pride. The Lapras's condition didn't matter to him anyway, he told himself. With the stone shards and the scale, all that remained was to deliver his prizes to the Boss, in exchange for that lofty title of Executive which he had coveted for so long. His dreams were about to come true, and even though the clouds above loomed closer, grouping together in a dark and ominous congregation, he felt as if the sun shone all about him, and he basked in its imaginary, golden glory.

Then he blinked. For some strange reason, something in the back of his brain was nagging at him to follow her. He frowned, his good mood slowly trickling away as he tried to figure out why. There was no reason to do so, after all; he'd just been gloating over the situation, so he knew better than anyone why it was unnecessary. Yet still the feeling lingered, floating just on the edge of his consciousness like an itch he couldn't scratch.

And then suddenly he grasped the general idea, the meaning of his need to follow her: a sense of danger lying ahead, ready to snap her up like a ravenous Carnivine lunging for a cute yet pathetic little animal. And then there was a flash of something more: a sensation that the danger was unlike anything he had ever experienced, a being of such unfathomable evil that the mere suggestion of its existence made goose bumps prickle up his neck.

His heartbeat jumped into overdrive at the thought. He couldn't imagine where that strange idea had come from, or why it had appeared in the first place, but he knew he had to stop her. If she met with the evil, she would almost certainly be killed — unless she was even less lucky.

"Oy!" Phlash exclaimed, tugging at his pant leg. "Quit staring into space like one of the alien warthogs! I wanna go do something, like actually spread Ronald McDonald's truth to everyone! Y'know, before the Frozen Face Followers can regroup and start the Apocalypse, okay?"

"No," he said, sharper than he had intended; apprehension of what was lay ahead had unsettled him. "We're going to follow them after all, Phlash. But we need to hurry, I think they're heading into some sort of trap."

"But I thought—"

"Hurry!" he exclaimed, already darting down the length of the bridge. Wind brushed against the hairs on his wig, but he merely pressed on, ignoring the faint rumbling of the brewing clouds. Phlash scampered after him, mouth wide open in excitement. She couldn't have any idea what was going on in her trainer's head, but instinct whispered to her that something exciting was about to befall them.

* * *

"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" Frosti howled wildly. "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! SOMEBODY SAVE US BEFORE WE DIE!"

"It's just rain," Leaf muttered flatly. A few warm, fat drops of water splashed against her head, as if for emphasis.

"It could still kill me," Frosti remarked darkly, drawing his tail in front of himself as if to protect it; its flame wavered slightly as he spoke. He almost knocked it into Cheri, whom he still carried, and only just whipped his tail away again in time, although the cocoon didn't appear to care anyway.

Standing at the edge of an overhanging cliff, Cerulean Cape, they looked at the sandy coast below them and the restless ocean beyond. Several disgruntled tourists could be seen making their way back from the beach, thoroughly unhappy at the sudden arrival of raindrops; but their mutterings were drowned out by the cracking, rolling thunder from clouds as black as coal, their vast expanses rapidly obscuring the blue sky above. It seemed that Misty's stories of hurricanes broiling over the sea weren't exaggerated in the slightest. Yet even with vile weather closing in, the view from the Cape was breathtaking; standing there, one would feel as if they stood close to the edge of the world, with nothing but endless sea and eternal sky stretching before them.

"I bet they're not happy," Frosti commented, chuckling at the tourists in spite of himself. "Serves them right for sitting on the beach all day. But at least they have some shelter to go to, and get out of this." He looked up over his shoulder, gazing wistfully at the fancy-looking hotels behind him, sitting neatly in a long row. Cliffs loomed over those buildings, tall and enigmatic in the fading light; crooked trees grew out of their sides in seemingly impossible postitions, their gnarled roots twisting in and out of the sheer faces.

Wincing as more raindrops fell on him, Frosti squinted and focused on a blob of color at the base of a cliff face, before it resolved itself in his vision as a two-storied yellow building, topped with a green roof. It didn't look like one of those fancy-schmancy hotels, he thought. With any luck, they could stay there until the storm passed.

"Follow me!" he ordered, his voice higher-pitched than usual in his anxiety to avoid the inevitable downpour. Scampering off between two hotels to get there, he glanced over his shoulder briefly to make sure Leaf was following. To his relief, she was, head bent and shoulders sagging. Rain didn't pose nearly as much of a threat to humans as it did to Charmander, he knew, but she still couldn't stay out and get hopelessly wet, no matter what she was angsting about.

It was really only about a minute before they had arrived at the door, but it seemed longer to Frosti; his tail was starting to steam worryingly in the rain, and he began to shiver. For a moment Leaf just stood by him, and he wondered if he should be the one to knock on the door, but as this thought occurred to him she wearily lifted her hand and rang the doorbell, whose haunting, muffled echo could be heard faintly chiming within.

Almost immediately the door was flung open by a wild-haired brunette whose clothes were ripped in various places, although said clothes had probably not been in prime condition to begin with, anyway. His palms seemed to be dusted with something dark and rust-colored, looking horribly like dried blood. As he stared at Leaf, his expression twisted into an intense, hungry look, which so unnerved Frosti that he suddenly wished they had not come this way at all.

"It's raining," Leaf said dully, not seeming to notice the young man's stare. "We need to come in to get shelter."

The man blinked rapidly. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," he muttered, glancing around over her shoulder furtively. "C'mon then. Hurry now!" He turned and started back into the building, beckoning them to follow. Frosti stared at him for a moment, feeling more and more weirded out, but Leaf merely entered mechanically, and the Charmander grumbled to himself as he tagged along after her, Cheri still sitting impassively in his grip.

The building, as he saw once his eyes had adjusted to the dark, looked vaguely like it had once been a house: the hall they walked along had empty frames lining its walls, and a brief glimpse of an adjacent room revealed a rather dead-looking sofa sitting gloomily in the dim lighting. But as they turned into another room, the acrid chemical smell that hit Frosti's nose told him loudly that this setting belonged more in some underground lab. _Now all we need is some mad scientist to step out and start cackling wildly,_ he thought, sneezing in disgust at the strong stench.

He and Leaf stood in the doorway of the room, watching the young man clumsily step over something that looked like a stuffed Feraligatr, as he crossed the confined space to a cabinet at the opposite side of what had been a kitchen once upon a time. An unknown substance bubbled cheerfully in the sink, and something that looked like a whole crime investigation lab sat on top of a long counter. Books were scattered messily on the floor, filled with strange equations and words that made Frosti's head hurt just looking at them; from the various scribbles that defaced their open pages, it was obvious that their owner had made several notes concerning their mysterious contents. A strange, exotic-looking plant had attached itself to the wide, grimy window above the sink, and was crooning happily to nothing in particular, its orange flowers opening and closing rhythmically.

The sight and smell of the place brought a faint flash of understanding to Leaf: _This must be that Bill person Misty mentioned ..._

"Help me!" a voice suddenly squealed from the far, unseen side of the long counter.

Dimly, as if in a dream, Leaf uncertainly navigated her way around the chaotic maze of books, head still muddled in the aching sadness of disillusionment of Paris's true nature. The voice, she noticed vaguely, had been quite fearful about something, and none too soft, either, although Bill, still rummaging around in the cabinet and muttering to himself, didn't seem to have noticed. Frosti followed her uncertainly, keeping his eyes on the strange, jerky movements of the young man. It was as if the human didn't fully have a handle on his own body.

As he almost tripped over a book that had been sitting inconveniently in his way, Frosti's hold on Cheri slipped slightly, and her blank gaze was shifted so that she caught sight of Bill for the first time. The Charmander's surprised growl was cut off by Cheri's sudden "MMMMMMMMMPH!"; the anger and fear in her muffled shout was the first emotion she had displayed at all since evolution.

Then Frosti, having finally reached Leaf's side, caught sight of what was behind the counter, and he stared in utter amazement. Sitting there was a bizarre-looking machine: a large, tarnished gray box covered with dials and buttons, most of which appearing as though they had no purpose whatsoever besides looking cool and somewhat official. There was, however, a large yellow lever, which they shrewdly assumed was the most important part of the contraption, due to a large sign sticking up above it that read "THE BIG ONE" in big, bright red letters. On either side of the machine was a somewhat large, semicircular container, big enough for a full-grown human to sit in. One appeared to be unsealed, a transparent door-flap hanging open from its side; the other one, however, contained a frightened-looking pink fairy Pokemon, which bore a close resemblance to the sickeningly cute Jigglypuff.

Upon seeing them, the fairy Pokemon's eyes widened, and she fluttered her wings frantically, grabbing at the edges of her container's door-flap with her stubby hands. "It's going all wrong!" she shrilled at them, her brown-tipped ears twitching in alarm. "Get out of here while you still can! It's a—!"

Something smashed Leaf to the floor, and she gasped as the weight of whatever it was pinned her down mercilessly against the ice-cold tiles. Dazedly she stared up, and her eyes widened when she saw what it was: Bill, straddling her stomach with his knees pinned against her sides. He smiled down at her, a feral grin that was made even less human by the thunder breaking out overhead. The knife in his hand glinted a bloodthirsty silver.

"Time to die, sweetheart," he hissed, and lunged.


	17. Cascade and Masquerade: Part I

Lots of drama and info coming up. :o

* * *

Chapter Seventeen: Cascade and Masquerade (Truth versus Lies! Cheri's Triumph!) – Part One

"NO!" Frosti screamed, watching in horror as the knife sliced downward. Growling in rage, he flung himself at the leering young man, even though part of his brain protested that it was already too late to save the girl; he had barely sprung into the air when the razor-sharp metal cut into Leaf's black tank top, tearing the spot right above her heart. A sting of cutting steel—

Fortunately, thanks to the sudden appearance of a throwing knife that _zinged_ conveniently through the air to smash it out of his hand, Bill's thirsty blade got no further.

"Take your hands off her!" a young man shouted, standing heroically in the doorway.

With a snarl, Bill leapt towards him, fingers extended towards him as if they were claws; in response the challenger merely pushed him backward, righteous anger distorting his aquiline features. Bill staggered drunkenly backward, looking winded. A moment later, he shook his head distractedly before returning his attention to the newcomer, curling his lip to reveal pearl-white teeth.

Gasping in an attempt to get her breath back, Leaf shuddered as she propped herself up onto her elbows, feeling shock and gratitude flood through her barrier of unfeeling numbness. The man had a shock of blindingly bright orange hair, but she soon realized that Cobalt had merely changed wigs again; the Elvis look would hardly do any good in a fight such as this. But this thought hardly registered in the incredulity washing over her. _He saved me? But we're enemies ..._

"Get back, phatty!" Phlash yelled, appearing from behind her trainer's ankles and lunging hungrily at Bill. The brunette yowled as she clamped her jaws onto his arm, but he nevertheless savagely flung his arm around to smash her lithe body into the counter nearby. The weasel whimpered in pain, but instead of letting go she tightened her toothy grip even more, causing droplets of blood to ooze from his skin.

"Leaf, Leaf, are you okay?" Frosti asked, rushing to his trainer's side, all annoyance at her previous attitude forgotten.

She almost said yes, but with a shiver she realized that saying it would be a definite lie. "I don't know," she admitted, surprising him with a sudden hug. Gingerly she touched the spot where the knife had nicked her. A slight cut could be seen through the tear in her tank top; a deathly red stain glittered on the edges of both cut and tear. Her blood turned to ice as she realized how narrowly she had escaped death. If Cobalt had arrived even a second later than he had—

"Mmmph!"

Swiveling around, human and Charmander looked behind them to see Cheri getting into an upright position, bouncing slightly on her point. She glared darkly at Bill, looking ready for a fight; with two sharp _snaps_ she unfolded her stinger-arms, raising them in preparation to stab.

"Cheri!" Leaf began, but the golden cocoon took no notice of her trainer's protest. With small leaps she bounced across the floor, waiting until the roaring brunette was in range before hitting the back of his knee with a sudden String Shot. The effect was immediate: crumpling, Bill collapsed on the floor with a screech, although he was soon back on his feet again. With a muttered curse of fury he launched himself at Cheri, swooping down and grabbing her with hands ready to squeeze the blood from her like a juicer squeezing concentrate from an orange.

Before the girl could cry out in worry about the Kakuna's fate, however, Bill dropped the Pokemon with a shriek, wailing as he stared at his hands; they were a brilliant red, glowing with the blisters forming along his palms in painful, uneven ridges. Cheri hit the floor with a loud _clack_ and was still.

"No," Leaf gasped, eyes widening. "Oh please, don't let me lose another one! NO!"

Another yowl forced her to return her horrified gaze to Bill, who in his maddened wrath had lunged for Cobalt. The admin was staring at his hand, staring in disbelief for some unknown reason; thus he was taken by surprise by Bill's attack, even with Phlash's angry, muffled cries. The young man whose true hair color was still indeterminable was thrown bodily against the floor, but, recovering rapidly from his shock, he rolled over as he fell until he hit the stone-cold tiles with a foot extended outward. Bill, not seeing the foot in time, tripped over it and landed on all fours, still snarling at Cobalt; coincidentally, Phlash was still snarling at him.

A glow diverted Leaf's attention back to Cheri, and she realized that the faint, eerie light was coming from the cocoon herself. Her mouth dropped open in astonishment as she watched cracks suddenly rip along the Kakuna's golden body, and some translucent liquid, faintly green, oozed from the long, shallow fissures. Humming softly, Cheri retracted her stinger-arms and held them tightly to her body, seeming almost to shrink. Then, as the light winked out from her eyes, a brilliantly white spear stabbed its way out of her side with a violent _RIP!_, followed almost instantly by another.

"Cheri ..." Leaf murmured. Even the young men had temporarily halted in their struggle, watching in amazement as the rest of Cheri's new body burst from its former confinement, scattering golden flakes that hissed with vicious heat as they bounced across the floor. The insect rose to her full height, shaking slightly from the effort of freeing herself. Leaf remembered seeing Beedrill for the first time in Viridian Forest, but she still gazed at her Pokemon's new form in wonder: a golden body with two jet-black stripes encircling her abdomen, with spindly black arms and legs tensed. Black antennae, shaped like twin sevens, twitched as Cheri unfolded four broad, veined, semi-transparent wings, glimmering softly in the dim light and damp with the mysterious greenish liquid.

As the glow faded, the tall bug gazed down at her limp Kakuna coating which lay prone and broken on the ground, looking eerily like a mutilated corpse. Her luminous ruby-red eyes narrowed in interest at the sight. Then a ragged breath from Bill, whose astonishment was fast fading, caused her to snap her head around at the young men, and they all tensed at her sudden movement.

Abruptly Cheri rushed through the air with lightning speed, knocking Bill to the ground with unanticipated force. As he collapsed beneath her, the bug swayed slightly, as if exhausted from her sudden evolution; nevertheless, she hit him in the small of his back with a String Shot, which flew not from her intimidating, pearl-white stingers, but from her pointed, virtually invisible mouth. Phlash, finally releasing her jaws from the psychotic human's arm, grinned at the enormous bee before jumping on Bill's head and chanting, "Die, phiend, die! Die, phiend, die! Die, phiend, die! Die, phiend, die! Die, phiend, d—"

"We heard you the first time!" Cobalt hollered at her in an annoyed voice. Then he looked around at the strange machine, staring at the Clefairy. "And what are you going on about?"

Leaf looked around at the fat pink fairy, realizing belatedly that the Pokemon had been pounding on the sealed door to get attention.

"It needs to be reversed!" she shrilled. "Hurry, the batteries on this thing won't last forever! Force her in here while she's down!"

The two followed the fairy's gaze, and their jaws dropped open when they realized the Pokemon was referring to Bill, who was swearing nastily from his awkward position on the floor. "_'She'?_" Leaf asked incredulously. "What are you talking about, that's Bill!"

"That's _not_ Bill!" the Clefairy retorted, now looking thoroughly exasperated. "That's the Clefairy! _I'm_ Bill, and this is very awkward, so shove her in the other containment unit already!"

"You're _who_?"

"Just do it!" snapped Bill-the-Clefairy, rolling her eyes.

Blinking in confusion, Leaf met Cobalt's eyes, wondering if he had any better understanding of this situation. Judging by his expression, it seemed safe to say that he didn't; but he merely shrugged it off and pounced on Clefairy-the-Bill, who was shrieking in horrific anger as his arms were twisted up behind his back. He writhed wildly in Cobalt's grasp in an effort to free himself, but with the help of Cheri's sticky String Shots and Phlash's enthusiastic tugging, the admin managed to drag the man across the floor, hauling him along until they had reached the open container. Realizing what they planned to do, Clefairy-the-Bill made a last stand to stay free by planting his rear on the floor in order to make caging him in as difficult as possible.

Unfortunately, one of Cheri's stingers was waiting for him.

"AAAARGH!" he yowled, as he leapt into the container while cradling his behind; it is usually not a good idea to sit on a Beedrill's stinger, particularly if one can avoid it. With lightning speed, Phlash shot forward and slammed the door-flap shut, sealing the seething brunette within.

"Are you okay?"

Leaf did a double take when she realized that Cobalt was standing above her, reaching down to help her up. Shaking herself, she grabbed his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet.

Their eyes met.

"Um ... yeah," Leaf muttered, embarrassed. "Thanks. For saving me, I mean."

"No problem." Cobalt still looked rather unnerved by the whole situation. "I did what I had to do, you know?"

An abrupt wolf-whistle made them jump; it had come from the Pokedex, still in Leaf's yellow handbag, which in the scuffle had been thrown across the floor. It was then that they realized that they hadn't let go of each other's hands. Clearing their throats awkwardly, they pulled away with a nervous laugh.

"You'll be okay?" Cobalt glanced around at Clefairy-the-Bill, who was banging furiously on the walls of his container and making Bill-the-Clefairy cry out indignantly. "Or should I take care of that bastard?"

"I'll be fine," Leaf assured him, although she wasn't altogether sure that she was telling the truth.

"Okay. Well, er ... I'll see you later then." Beckoning to Phlash, he turned and started back for the hall, dark in its windowless confines.

"Cobalt?"

"What?"

"Why'd you come?"

He paused, turning back to watch her from the doorway. Looking at her standing there, with a fiery lizard and slim bee flanking her, it was impossible to imagine that she had almost lost her life to an incredibly evil being; only the painful-looking tear on her shirt suggested that such a thing could have happened. Why did he still feel the urge to make sure she really was safe, even though the danger had obviously passed?

"I don't know," he admitted, in response to both her words and his own internal struggle, looking more bewildered than ever. Then, in a sweeping, billowing movement of his cape, he had gone.

Leaf stared at the spot he had just stood in, pointedly ignoring Frosti's knowing leer. Within herself, she could feel emotion flood through her, sweeping around the icy barriers of impassive coldness. Every breath filled her with a quiet joy, as she realized how incredible it was to live, having been so close to being murdered. And she was immensely grateful for Cobalt's arrival, just as she was utterly confused by it. They were enemies, standing firmly on opposite sides of the law, and they hated each other enough to kill.

At least, she'd thought they did.

"Hey!" An angry voice abruptly broke in on her thoughts. "What are you doing here, you ... you Rocket! No, come back here! Still sneaking around wherever we go, are you? That's right, run away! And quit stalking us with that Gina person!"

"Lightning?" Leaf called, her surprised voice echoing off the blank walls.

"Leaf! Hey, guys, she's here, and she's not dead!" There was a scampering of small feet, and a second later the short blonde had appeared in the kitchen, Peach perched on his shoulder as usual. Looking behind him, he continued to holler. "She's okay, guys, really! And whoa, her Kakuna evolved again? Nice!"

"A Beedrill?" Ocean appeared beside him, staring in wonder at the golden bug. "I still need to catch some of those, that one's a real beauty! Look at those spears, they're like ivory ... oh, hi Leaf. You're okay! Awesome!"

She blinked in surprise as they both jumped on her in a sudden, relieved hug. "Whoa — Aw, thanks, you guys!" she exclaimed, returning their embrace. The memory of Bill leaning over her, knife in hand, resurfaced in her memory, and she shivered as she saw how she might never have seen her friends again. Last seeing them in a fit of sour gloom, hardly caring about anything in her self-absorption ... Knowing how close she was coming to a complete breakdown, she forced herself to change the subject. "And ... Ocean, you don't have a cold anymore?"

"I don't?" He frowned for a moment, sniffed experimentally, and immediately beamed. "Hey, I don't! I guess warm hurricane weather helped fix that!" He pushed back his spiky hair in vain, before striking a triumphant pose.

Leaf just stared. "A hurricane? Am I missing something here?"

"You did." Fire arrived next, his hair incredibly windswept. Unlike the other boys, he was completely drenched: water dripped from his clothes from head to toe, creating an awkward puddle around his feet. "We rode out with Misty on the waves. It was the only way we could catch you in time, even though we didn't." He looked slightly ashamed for a moment before continuing, "But the ride was quite a splash, to use a bad pun. Have you ever seen the skies turn to night-black in less than five minutes? And white waves and thunder were everywhere. It was like being in the middle of a legend." For the first time in possibly forever, a smile that was actually enthusiastic crossed his face.

"I guess," Ocean agreed, shrugging. "Fire loved it. He had his hands in the air like he was on some roller coaster. I never knew he could whoop like that. Ow!" he cried out, as the brunette punched him in the shoulder.

The picture forming in Leaf's head was abruptly shattered by a rather impatient voice.

"I HATE WATER!"

"You didn't _have_ to stay out, I could've recalled you!"

"You'd probably go drown yourself, dear Yoda of mine. _Somebody_ has to keep an eye on you. But it should've been Skipper, dammit, because he likes water. BUT I HATE IT!"

"Stop screaming!"

"I HATE IT! I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE WATER! ALMOST AS MUCH AS I HATE RETARDED POKEDEXES!"

_"I heard that!"_ the Pokedex chastised.

"I HATE IT! I HATE WATER AND I HATE PIPLUP AND I HATE PRINPLUP AND I HATE ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH PIPLUP! AND I HATE WATER, TOO!"

"You don't say."

"Oh, good Arceus, Roark, can't you shut your dinosaur up?"

"I would if I could. Whoa, whoa, wait, you're not bringing _that_ in here, are you?"

"Why not? She can fit. See, look. C'mon, girl, duck your head in. That's it! Just squeeze through the—"

_CRUNCH._

"... doorway. Dammit, it almost worked. Sorry, Bill!" Misty's voice seemed to be addressing the house at large.

"Well, this is awkward."

Ocean, of course, snickered at this.

"Oh, it's not too big of a problem. He can afford fixing it, and worse things have happened to this house anyway. Now come on. Maybe we'll find her chained up in a basement or something."

Lightning rolled his eyes as he walked over toward the hallway to see what the others were doing. "Geez, guys, I just told you she was okay, weren't you listeni— HOLY CRAP, WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING HER IN HERE FOR?"

"Protection," Misty's voice replied airily.

"Protection ..." Lightning repeated, shaking his head in disbelief.

_"Remember that word, kid,"_ the Pokedex put in smarmily. _"Protection. It's the most important thing you'll need after you hit puberty."_

"POKEDEX!"

Just then two familiar people with hairs of varying redness stepped into view, both as dripping wet as Fire. Roark appeared first, and he seemd to be limping; a closer look, however, told Leaf that this was due to Anni, who was standing resolutely on one of his feet and gripping his leg as if she would never let go. She looked extremely cross, her dark, rocky hide looking almost black from the moisture she had been exposed to. Misty followed them, looking as if she rode out in hurricanes every other day (which, according to her, she probably did). A large red head with an annoying smile arced its way through the doorway after her, and Leaf recognized it with a start as the red sea serpent which Team Waterflower had used in their entrance.

"Holy ...!" Roark froze in midstride, hazel eyes widening at the sight of the tear in Leaf's shirt. Then he snapped his gaze up to meet her face, horrorstruck. "What _happened_ to you? I thought Misty was exaggerating when ... when she said ..."

Next moment, in a movement so sudden that Anni was sent flying, he leapt forward and grabbed the girl in a hug so tight and protective that for a moment her eyes bugged out, but after a moment she relaxed, a feeling of real warmth, real security, sweeping over her for the first time since the journey's start. To be in the reassuring grasp of a friend ... because that's what they were, she realized, not just celebrity and fangirl, but people with bonds of friendship strengthened by adversity and fate. A broad grin lit her face as she returned his hug, a grin caused by the knowledge she had just seen — although the fact that he had her pressed comfortingly against his chest obviously had something to do with it as well.

The Pokedex suddenly wolf-whistled again, making them stiffen in surprise; somewhere out of sight, Ocean, Lightning and Anni were snickering. Blushing furiously, the two let go of each other in a hurry, pointedly refusing to look at any of the others.

"Well, um ..." Roark stammered awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head as he glanced away. "You're okay, thank Arceus ... death by steel is the worst way to go, you know, and ... er ... you _are_ okay, right? Who did this to you?" he asked suddenly, snapping his gaze back upward. "It was that Rocket who ran out of here, wasn't it? He tried to stab you!" The horror returned to his face as he reached this conclusion.

But Leaf shook her head. "No, it wasn't him, it was—"

A sudden roar made everyone jump; Clefairy-the-Bill was throwing himself against the door-flap in a vain attempt to break out.

"He's trapped," Leaf explained, feeling strangely calm in spite of the fact that she was staring at her would-be killer. _What is_ with _me and my random mood swings?_ "Apparently, he switched bodies with the Clefairy, which is why he's acting like that."

"It's not because she's a Clefairy!" Bill-the-Clefairy spluttered. "It's because of the processes she's undergone, when — oh, I have to explain properly! Pull the lever on the machine, I want to switch out of this awkward female body!"

Everyone stared at her.

"But ... but that's impossible!" Misty exclaimed, shaking her head. "Nobody can put themselves into a Pokemon body, not even Bill!"

"I guess they can now," Leaf said with a shrug, grasping the lever and pulling it towards herself.

A sharp hissing made her jump back in alarm, and they all watched in nervous fascination as an eerie white vapor began to pour into the twin containment units. As their occupants inhaled it, they almost immediately stiffened, eyes wide at some sort of horror that only they could see. Then, in unison, they flopped to the bottoms of the containers, limp and dead-looking. Vapor hung above them in a rather creepy matter, floating like an ominous fog that clouded up the door-flaps and made it impossible to see. A pair of twin knobs on top of the box section of the machine flared with bright blue electricity: one, two, three brilliant flashes of crackling light, followed by a sudden _BOOM_ that shook the entire machine. Lightning squealed and dove for cover at the sudden noise. Then, abruptly, the vapor within dissipated into nothingness, and the sounds of the machine died away into echoes.

All was still.

Cautiously, the visitors peered into the containers, staring for some sort of movement. Then, suddenly, Misty yanked open the door to Bill's unmoving body, ignoring cries of protest around her.

"Okay, Bill, game's over," she said sharply. "I need to have a talk with you. You need to stop endangering people for the sake of your stupid experiments and start using common sense."

Bill's eyelids fluttered, and everyone jumped back, nerves stretched. Leaf watched in anxious anticipation as he slowly crawled out of the containment unit, wondering if he was about to jump up and start attacking people again. As if reading her thoughts, Cheri sidled up to the girl's ear and whispered, "He's no threat now. The only thing we would worry about is the possibility that his soul has been tainted by that other presence."

"What?"

"HA!"

Everyone jumped again at Bill's sudden outburst. He abruptly collapsed to the ground, laughing his head off manically.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I DID IT! I ACTUALLY PROVED THEIR EXISTENCES! THIS IS THE GREATEST DISCOVERY OF ALL TIME, AND IT'S MINE! MINE! I AM OFFICIALLY THE GREATEST SCIENTIST WHO EVER LIVED IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE EARTH! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"BILL!" Misty hollered, worry quickly fading to annoyance. "SHUT UP!"

"Hahahahaha ..." Bill's laughter trailed off as he looked up at the circle of people around him. "Ahaha. Ha. Er, ahem. Sorry. Just had to get the triumphant part out of the way, that's all." He got to his feet a bit unsteadily, still grinning. "But really, it _is_ the greatest discovery of all time! Even you'll appreciate it, Misty!"

"Why do I not believe that?" Misty muttered dryly.

"And you ..." The young man bowed to Leaf deeply, before reaching out and shaking her hand. "I'm dreadfully sorry about my body almost killing you, truly I am. But it wasn't actually _me_ who did it." He pointed at the other containment unit, which held a Clefairy who was now pounding viciously against its sides, yowling with rage.

"He really did switch bodies?" Misty asked nobody in particular, looking deeply shocked at this development. "But ... but how?"

"A secret I'll keep to myself," Bill replied, winking. "Don't want those rival scientists stealing my theories, do we? But I guess there are things I need to explain. Over dinner, preferably, since that experiment left me ravenous!"

"Over anything," Leaf agreed. "It's high time I get some answers."

* * *

Misty poked the squishy stuff on her plate with revulsion. "What _is_ this?"

"Casserole," Bill replied, as he headed into the hallway. "I must get something. Well, dig in, what are you waiting for?"

Lightning waited until his footsteps had died away before turning to Ocean and muttering, "I'm waiting for it to stop breathing, that's what."

The others nodded in agreement. Seated around a grimy-surfaced table were the six humans, who were staring at the meal which Bill had so kindly prepared for them. The problem was that he could have prepared it ten years ago, so vile-looking was the stuff they were supposed to be eating. Some bowls filled with the unmentionable gunk were sitting on the floor for three Pokemon who looked as if they'd rather eat their own feet first: Misty had returned her red serpent to its Poke Ball, and Cheri had wordlessly withdrawn into a shadowy corner of the room, watching everyone else with glittering ruby eyes; but Frosti, Peach and Anni had opted to stick around for dinner, and were now really wishing they hadn't.

"It's not breathing," Ocean retorted, his face having turned a delicate shade of green. "It's decomposing. But this bit looks almost edible." He hoisted a bluish vegetable-like thing out of the glop with his fork.

"DON'T EAT IT!" Roark cried out suddenly, causing everyone to jump.

But it was too late. Ocean was already chewing the thing, rolling it around in his mouth thoughtfully. Then he gagged, dropping his fork with a clatter and puckering up as if he had swallowed a lemon. With a face that looked as pained as if it were on fire, he spat the thing back onto his plate, where it glistened cheerfully with saliva. Half-choking, he drank his entire glass of water without pausing for breath; then, gasping, he grabbed Lightning's glass and downed that too.

"Hey!" Misty said indignantly: she was sitting on his other side, and he was gulping down her water as well.

"!" Ocean sighed, relieved. Then he looked up and realized everyone was staring at him. "Oh," he said, putting his hand to his mouth. "Sorry. Excuse me."

"You're excused," Fire said, pointing him toward the hallway with a straight face.

Ocean was the only one who didn't snort with laughter at the comeback. "What _was_ that?" he asked, staring at the vegetable thing as if it might jump up and bite his nose off.

"A Rowap berry," Roark explained. "They only grow in Sinnoh, so you wouldn't know about them. They're only the foulest food known to mankind."

"Guess so," Ocean muttered. "'Kay, then, I'm not hungry anymore."

"But they can be very useful in battle," Anni commented, her eyes growing misty at some memory. "I used one in a gym battle once ... I beat a Piplup. The idiot never saw what hit him." She grinned evilly.

"I have returned!" Bill boomed cheerfully, swinging around into the room; his abrupt arrival caused everyone to bolt in shock. In his arms he carried a Pokemon with a soft-looking furry coat, his big brown ears twitching forward as he examined the mismatched group with wide black eyes. "And I've brought my dear friend with me, too! I locked him in my room upstairs earlier, in case something went wrong with the experiment ... which it did ... but the point was to keep him from getting hurt, and there I succeeded! Isn't that right?"

"Yeah!" the Pokemon agreed. "Ooh, is that dinner? Time for dinner!" he squealed happily, leaping down from Bill's arms and scampering over to the dish of untouched glop. He skidded to a halt in front of it, looking up at the other three Pokemon as he tilted his head slightly to the side, gazing at them cutely. "You gonna eat that?"

"... No ..." Frosti said slowly.

"Oh goody! More for me, yay, yay, yay!" With a deep breath, the Pokemon abruptly lunged at the bowl, burying his soft face into the unmentionable slime that was supposed to be casserole.

"You're icky," Peach muttered under her breath. "Cute, but icky."

The Pokedex chuckled. Sensing one of its usual cutting entries, Leaf hastily shoved it deeper into her handbag, where it muttered mutinously.

Ocean rubbed his chin thoughtfully, looking rather like a scheming cartoon villain. "Ah," he said, "an Eevee. Not my personal favorite, but it would still be a good idea harnessing one of them for my collection."

"And shaving it?" Roark asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lightning stared at him. "Why on earth would you shave an Eevee?"

He shrugged. "It's a long story."

Leaf gazed at the cute Eevee in fascination. As she despised fat pink fairies who sang and fluttered around in a mystical yet clumsy way, she had a rather different idea than other girls her age about what was or wasn't adorable. The Eevee definitely counted as cute in her eyes, with his fluffy brown fur and thick cream-colored neck ruff, which bounced slightly as he gulped down the untouchable gunk. His huge bushy tail wagged excitedly back and forth. All in all, the girl found him to be very huggable, like Frosti or Paris.

_Paris._ She sighed at the thought of the Lapras. _How can I face her knowing that I was wrong about her all along?_

"Looks delicious, doesn't it?" Bill asked rather obliviously, seating himself between Misty and Fire. "Mm, the day's worked up quite an appetite! I could have eaten the entire casserole!" he exclaimed, lifting a forkful of stuff to his mouth and chewing it happily.

"I wish you would," Ocean muttered, the taste of Rowap still burning his tongue.

"I'm sure it has," Misty said, seeming to prefer conversation to Bill's atrocious cooking. "But really, Bill, you need to set up some limits with these experiment things. Somebody almost _died_ this time. You were lucky that Rocket person was here to set it right."

Leaf could practically hear the boys' thoughts echoing her own: _What had he been doing there, anyway?_

"What's done is done," Bill retorted, although he still looked rather sorry about the near-accident. "But I can promise you that that was probably the most potent experiment I've ever done. You see, the discovery I made—"

"Aren't you listening?" Misty practically shouted, making everyone stiffen in surprise. "Have you gone completely _nuts_? Human life is worth a lot more than any idiotic little tinkering with psychics or whatever it is you do—"

"Physics, not psychics!" Bill's face was starting to go red as he returned the gym leader's verbal assault. "Just because two words _look_ the same—"

"Shut up!"

"No way!"

"Why can't you just donate to charities like a _normal_ rich person?"

"I _founded_ most of those charities!"

"You're rich?" Lightning interrupted, surprised. "But this isn't a mansion!"

"This is just my July cottage," Bill explained, smiling at him as he turned away from Misty, who looked ready to strangle him. "I find it quite useful when I want to get away from it all, you know ... and, incidentally, I'm the richest person in the world." He beamed at the stunned faces of the people staring at him.

The blonde blinked at this sudden, random revelation. "But ..."

"_That_ cost several hundred million credits," Bill went on, gesturing at the equipment on the counter. "Managing the PCs of millions of people is very profitable, let me tell you. If only those snakes Bebe and Lanette hadn't snatched Hoenn and Sinnoh from under my nose ... I could be curing cancer right now." He sighed wistfully, gazing at nothing in particular.

"That'd be a hell of a lot better than being the nutcase you are now," Misty said venomously.

"STOP FIGHTING!" Leaf exploded. "I-I mean, this isn't getting us anywhere," she stammered hastily, as Misty and Bill stared at her in surprise. "But if I almost _died_ because of this so-called great discovery, then I want to know what the discovery is."

Bill beamed. "Great! You'll all be fascinated by this!"

Misty sweatdropped. "Oh, no ..."

"For several months now I've been considering the inferred scientific sides to some interesting passages in the Word," Bill began, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial stage whisper.

"What does this have to do with computer programming?" Ocean interrupted, frowning.

Bill blinked for a moment before groaning. "Not Microsoft Word, _the_ Word! You know, the holy book?"

Ocean blinked. "Oh, _that_ Word! Never mind, then. Carry on."

"Yes, well, there are several recorded occurrences of souls leaving the body, only to return later on," Bill continued. "The most famous being Shaymin's resurrection, of course. And people have been arguing about whether or not there's such a thing as a soul in the first place, but I hypothesized that if somebody's life force could return to the body it had left, then I could prove once and for all that they do exist! So after several weeks of intense study I created a theory that if the protons were depolarized in the carbon-fourteen atoms of a living thing's hippocampus, after the decalibration of—"

"_English_, Bill," Misty ordered.

"Okay, well, to cut it a bit shorter ... if we follow the Word's assertion that the soul is the combination of an individual's heart, mind, and will, then by switching souls with the Clefairy, I've actually proved the existence of the soul itself!"

Fire glanced over at the Clefairy, who was glaring murderously at them from her confines within the machine. "Looking at something like that, it's hard to picture it with a soul," he commented dryly.

"Ah, that's the other thing!" Bill exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. "You see, by using that particular Clefairy, I have also proven the existence of the Beast!"

A soft hiss drifted from Cheri's shadowy corner.

"The what?"

"The Beast! You see—" Here Bill dropped his voice to an almost reverent whisper. "The Word contains evidence that a soul is not alone within a body. There is another, somewhat similar force which lies dormant, locked in an unending slumber and helpless against the soul's dominant claim to the body. But — and there are occurrences of this happening in the Word, too — if this other force, this Beast, were somehow awakened, it would automatically seize control of the body."

He paused, grinning as everyone around him clung to every word, mouths wide open in gaping astonishment.

"The Beast would then proceed to enter a destructive rage, or some dark state of mind, depending on the circumstance ... the soul would then be a prisoner in the same way that the Beast had been, free only to watch as its old body wreaked havoc. The Clefairy's Beast was already awake before the experiment, if you haven't guessed that already."

"That's horrible," Lightning breathed, shuddering violently. "But what if more Beasts woke up? That'd be a disaster!"

"Oh, there've been several Beast awakenings lately," Bill said casually.

"_What_?"

"Of course! Not that you'd know them by that name. Does the Shadow Crisis in Orre sound more familiar?"

Lightning nodded slowly.

A brief image of a news report flashed behind Leaf's eyes, and she remembered the wreckage caused to a deprecated, innocent building by some unidentifiable Shadow Pokemon, its eyes blazing with a terrible fury and a snarl blasting from between bared fangs as a harried policeman forced it into a kennel, the words "Animal Control" painted brightly on its side. _"Authorities have not yet determined the cause of these 'Shadow Pokemon',"_ the newscaster had declared. _"Citizens of Orre are warned NOT to approach any Pokemon whose behavior appears erratic or unsteady, but notify the police immediately. Anyone with information concerning the perpetrators, Team Snagem, should contact the police as well ..."_

"People think Team Snagem are to blame," Bill went on, as if reading Leaf's thoughts, "but it isn't really so. There's an undercover organization, Cipher, who's responsible for 'closing the door to their hearts' and distributing them via Snagem. And I bet you're wondering how I know this?" He raised his eyebrow at Misty, who had opened her mouth with a determined expression; stunned, she nodded slightly and shut it again. "It's thanks to some pretty awesome radio equipment I set up. I can pick up practically every frequency there is. And that little baby's also the reason how I came across that Clefairy. I overheard a deal that Team Rocket set up with Cipher: they would trade a super-cloned Rattata and Skitty for a Shadow Zigzagoon and Clefairy. I'm guessing that the point of the trade was a way of trading information as well; scientists would have to study the special Pokemon to discover how to create them for themselves. But they didn't expect me to be listening in! I managed to get to the ship carrying the Shadows as it arrived in Vermillion Harbor, and I snatched the Clefairy from right under their noses! From what I picked up on the radio after that, there was some assassinating of representatives for a while as a result, before they finally decided to forget the Skitty and only trade Rattata for Zigzagoon, making their search for expanding knowledge far more difficult! So you see, it turned out all right, really!"

Leaf stared at the Clefairy, watching her as she began to beat furiously against her confinement. _I was almost killed by a Shadow._

"And then you switched bodies with the psycho maniac," Misty finished in a flat voice.

"Well ... yes," Bill admitted, looking uncomfortable under her stare. "But I had already theorized that a Beast would cause a Shadow — I'm not sure if even Cipher knows that that's the heart of their whole process — so I was sure that switching would prove the existence of both Beast and soul! Because they're inseperable, you know. So ha!"

He beamed proudly for a moment, then looked rather downcast when he realized that everyone was just staring at him.

"You're weird," Lightning said matter-of-factly.

"Well, you all wanted to know," Bill protested halfheartedly, deflating.

"Bill, I'm going to have to have a serious talk with you," Misty said sharply, pushing her chair back as she stiffly got to her feet. "But not now. We should leave, it's already gotten dark—"

"I have guest rooms!" the researcher said hastily. "Upstairs, you know. You shouldn't have to travel through a storm like this."

A bright shaft of lightning flashed from beyond the window, emphasizing his words.

Misty sneered. "After what happened?"

"Hey, it's all right! The Clefairy can stay locked in there for now, she can't hurt anybody in there. And _I'm_ not going to almost stab anybody, so there, okay?"

The gym leader rolled her eyes, but didn't argue further. Instead she eyed the window nervously, as if worried that a lightning bolt were about to burst through it.

Nobody else had any objections to this plan, as the day had been very exciting, so after their assurances to Bill that they weren't really hungry (a lie, but a necessary one, considering the alternative) he led them back into the hall and up the dusty stairs, arriving at a hall which looked uncannily like the one they had just left. He then showed them their rooms, which were fortunately a great deal less messy than the kitchen; in fact, aside from the unnaturally tidy beds and some scenic windows, they were completely bare.

"I haven't come over to this part of the house anytime recently," Bill confessed, as the others stared into the strangely empty rooms. "I haven't given these any of my amazing personal touch, I'm sad to say."

"And I'm glad to hear it," Fire muttered softly.

"My room's over there, at the other end of the hall," Bill went on, pointing at the door nearest to the stairs. "If you need anything, that's where I'll be."

The Pokedex snickered. Everyone jumped, having completely forgotten it was there.

Physically and emotionally drained, Leaf said good night, headed for her own room, changed into her pajamas and fell into bed, sighing in relief as her head hit the pillow. A real bed ... she hadn't slept in one since the night before her journey began. Already she could feel the tension in her muscles dissolving.

Frosti took up a position near her head, tail draped delicately over the side of the bed to prevent any accidental fires. His small, sharp teeth were exposed in a yawn as he lowered his scaly chin onto his paws, falling asleep within seconds.

"Human."

Grunting, Leaf glanced up to see Cheri's eyes glittering from the dark corner of the room, hidden in enfolding shadows. A flash of lightning illuminated her figure, and in that brief moment she looked like some sleek creature from a horror movie. "Ugh ..." she moaned, blinking slowly as waves of sleep beckoned invitingly from the depths of her mind. "What is it, Cheri?"

"Being a person with vague yet existing ideas of honor, you must be informed of a particular tradition of my people."

"Mm?"

"We take a very serious view concerning debts," the bug hissed. "In owing someone a favor, your very lifeblood cries to us, calling out the truth of the matter even if you deny any unpaid debt. If these debts continue grow in number, its call becomes stronger ... and when three debts have gone unpaid, then we will resist the call no longer." Cheri paused for a moment, letting that information sink in. Then, in a voice like ice: "You owe me my family, human. You and your friends had enough Pokemon to drive off those Butterfree for at least long enough to allow my people to gather their full strength. And yet you merely stood by and watched as the delicate balance that kept the Forest whole for centuries was shattered in an instant. As a Weedle, I was less concerned about righting wrongs than my people's well-being and whatever horrific fate they may still suffer. But I have grown, human. And I did so to save your life from the Shadow creature. Your lifeblood's call has grown twice as strong now."

Leaf blinked. "Cheri, I—"

"I'm not interested in your gratitude. It was only for the sake of defeating that Beast, which has no right to awaken. But you still owe me twice over, so tread carefully, human, and be sure to right those wrongs soon. Otherwise ... well, relying on me to save your neck next time would be like goring it willingly on the points of my spears." She rubbed one spike along the other in a meaningful sharpening motion, creating a soft, yet ominous rasp.

The girl shivered. Suddenly the temperature seemed to drop ten degrees, as goosebumps rippled down her arms. Unnerved, she avoided Cheri's unblinking gaze by burying her face in the pillow ... _Whatever happened to my sweet, timid Cheri?_ ... she slowly drifted into an uneasy slumber, filled with glinting red eyes, a quiet horror of the darkness within, the juicy sound of a spear stabbing into flesh ...

* * *

Anni glared balefully at the rain buffeting the window, splashing the darkened pane with drops that blurred the landscape beyond into an unidentifiable mass of greens and grays. Pulling her attention away from the storm, she snuggled closer against her trainer's blanketed feet, curling up into a defensive ball on the blessedly soft mattress. She would have preferred if Skipper had been let out for the night; since the series of earthquakes the previous day, they had hardly seen each other aside from brief, confused glimpses, and she longed for the opportunity to speak with her half-brother again. His departure from the ship had depressed her more than she let on. Now that he had returned, she would do anything in her power to make sure he never left them again.

The thought made her sigh softly, the exhalation for a moment blocking out the sound of the dreaded water pounding on the roof above. In her power? _What_ power? She hadn't been able to do a thing when Roark had collapsed for whatever harebrained reason. But she was expected to have a solution for everything! She _was_ the oldest, after all. (At least that was one point no one could argue about; a person could hardly deny that having hatched millions and millions of years ago gave her a slight edge as far as age was concerned.) In these strange times they all needed someone to look after them. She wouldn't — no, she _couldn't_ let them down. It was _her_ responsibility. The next time something happened, she would not be caught frozen in shock with a mouth wide open like a stupid Slowpoke.

Beside her, the feet rustled softly in movement. "Anni?"

"Yeah?" The Cranidos spoke in a hushed voice.

"Anni, there hasn't been a quiet moment since the gym. I haven't really had time to think. But I just realized ... something's been nagging at me since then, but I only just ... Anni, why am I here?"

"Oh." The dinosaur masked her confusion at the question by shooting the trainer a retort, as usual. "Well, I don't know. _Nobody_ knows, really. That's why people came up with religion, you know, to give them some idea about the whole thing." She put her arms in front of her, stretching them lazily. "Of course, I guess it all started with "In the beginning there was the Egg," and so on. Not that I'm quoting or anything."

Roark sighed. "Not that, the other thing."

"Oh, _that_. Why didn't you say so?" Anni returned to the fetal position, basking in the warmth and feeling very comfortable, especially when she thought of the rain falling outside. "Well, I'm surprised your parents haven't told you about it by now. It's awkward to be the one to tell you this, but ... well, it started when your dad met your mom, and they were so in love that they had—"

"No, the _other_ other thing!"

A sleepy blink. "There's another other thing?"

"Anni, I'm talking about why we're in Kanto, of all places!"

The Cranidos rolled her eyes, only to remember too late that in the dark their movement would go quite unnoticed. "Why we're in Kanto? Dude, you know that better than I do, it's for those retarded Contests. And no, I am _not_ doing the dumb twirly thingy in midair. Make Emily do it, not me."

"I know _that_," Roark said, ignoring her complaint; he sounded rather on edge. "I remember _what_ we came for, but not _why_."

"There's a difference?"

"Of course! I don't remember any of my ... of my _motivation_. It's like I just decided to do this for no reason at all. I mean, I hate Contests just as much as the next guy, so why did I suddenly find them fascinating?"

Slightly unnerved now, Anni shifted her head so that it bumped against her trainer's ankle. "But you're not making any sense. You saw that "inspiring" show thing on TV, and started going all dramatic over how you could see us doing that sort of stuff. Worst Sunday ever in my opinion. I mean, you wouldn't _really_ make us dance, would you?"

A pause.

"... _Would_ you?"

"Anni ..." Roark's words came slowly, thoughtfully, with a forced calm easily audible. "Anni, there hasn't been a Contest on Sunday in three years. Remember, when the Seventh Church of Celebi was protesting that it was disruptive to the flow of religion, so they finally passed a law about it?"

Dimly, the dinosaur caught a flash of memory, a news report consisting of a bunch of green-suited weirdos parading outside a Contest Hall and chanting, waving their signs in the air for all to see. "Oh yeah ..."

"I didn't see any Contest on TV," the miner went on, speaking as much to himself as to his Pokemon. "There was no _reason_ ... was it all in my head? It must have been, but I ... I mean, I thought it was ... it was who _I_ was ..." His voice shook, and he faltered.

"Dammit, Roark, don't start crying _again_!" Anni growled, although she rested her domed head on his leg to comfort him, negating the sharpness of her tone. "You're not being manly _at all_. If it makes you feel better, and I don't know why it would, I don't understand this either. All I know is, I don't know _how_ you would've watched any TV, I'd thought you'd been sleeping most of that day. Actually, screw that, I _know_ you were sleeping. We'd been working with the team at the Iron Island excavation, remember? You were pretty damn tired, after all that digging and whatever. As far as I remember, you didn't wake up at all, so you _can't_ have seen any TV that day ... unless ..."

Her voice trailed away as an icy pit of realization settled in her stomach.

"It was a _dream_?" Roark whispered.

"I guess so. A pretty damn convincing dream, though, if it could move you to come all the way out here, am I right?"

His silence, stretched out on several tense seconds, spoke volumes.

"Yeah, I'm always right."

"But ... but it was so _real_! How could I have had a dream _that_ real, and _that_ specific, so powerful that its effects lasted until I fell in the gym earlier?"

"There's a simple explanation for all of this. Drugs."

"But really, Anni—"

"Or it could've been something else." Anni yawned, her beak-like mouth wide open for a moment before snapping shut. "Look, I'll try to figure out what this is all about, okay? There's probably more to this that we're just not seeing. I'll need to sleep on it, that's all."

The trainer released a tired sigh, and Anni patted his feet to help him settle him back down. She had no idea what was going on, or why some dream had invaded her trainer's mind — or why it had stopped when he went into his strange, unprovoked seizure thing. For a moment doubt surfaced in her thoughts, whispering that perhaps this was something too big for her to deal with; but she swiftly pushed it out of mind. _I_ will _figure this out,_ she thought fiercely, a strange feeling of protectiveness gripping her as she glared at the rain, as if daring it to argue with her. _I owe it to him._


	18. Cascade and Masquerade: Part II

And the other half of the chapter. Yay?

* * *

Chapter Eighteen: Cascade and Masquerade (Truth versus Lies! Cheri's Triumph!) – Part Two

Claws clicked with quiet, sharp echoes against the worn stone floor as the tall, scythe-wielding chaotic continued to make his way through the shadowy corridors of his mind. Cobwebs were draped like curtains from the dank, musty confines of the more shadowy corners. Not that there was any true dankness or mustiness — this was literally all in his head — but it was the very lacking of those qualities, the sense that they _had_ to be there, that caused the mind around him to comply to his internal image.

As he neared another fork in the maze, the heavy echo of footsteps wafted toward him in a choppy series of sound waves. Far from willing to be discovered, the Missing One pressed himself against one of the rocky walls, just as a faintly glowing figure emerged from one of the passages ahead of him. The figure continued to walk mechanically past, not even glancing at the skeletal form of the tense chaotic. His arms hung limply by his sides, trailing twin lengths of night-black chain behind him. Peering at the person's retreating back, the Missing One noted that he had a faint glow about his body, emphasis on faint — from the slouch of his shoulders, the chaotic supposed that this human soul had been captive for several decades, doomed to wander as a slave to the Lord of Evil. Even as he watched, he could see bits of the soul's glow curling off like dew in the hot sun, only to be sucked into the empty darkness of the chains, which were absolutely silent in spite of being dragged over stone.

Confident that this unfortunate soul posed no threat to him, the Missing One waited only a brief moment longer before shaking himself and setting off again, choosing the left-hand passage of the fork without hesitation. On the walls, strange symbols were scattered at various intervals, although they seemed to serve no apparent purpose aside from looking cool. The flames flickered in their brackets on the wall as he passed — something that would never have happened in the physical world, where his mere presence was sure to have adverse effects on such a balance. Torch and flame ... it would later be difficult for an observer to determine which had been which.

Turning a sharp corner, he abruptly found himself faced with a door unlike any that had ever been seen in the physical world: stretching from floor to ceiling and wall to wall, the door looked as if it were gaseous, created of some perpetually shifting blackness that moved serenely in dreamlike spirals. Yet he sensed automatically that this was perhaps the most solid thing he would ever encounter, in any world, any time, place, or circumstance. This was the door that separated him from his other self.

His Beast.

Shrugging off the weight of this moment, he faced the door with a steely glint in his eye. He ignored that this was in fact a mere figure of speech, seeing as he didn't even have eyes in the first place. Instead, he raised his impressive scythes into the air, muttering in a lost, rasping language that seemed to hiss as it uncoiled itself from his mouth. With this demonic stance he looked very impressive, even though he had absolutely no idea what he was actually saying. For all he knew, he could be assuring the door that he was really the son of a goat and a molding horseradish.

If so, then perhaps the door approved of strange plant-and-plant-eater offspring, because it soon flickered, winking out of existence and exposing the yawning passage beyond. In spite of the foul, rusty smell that immediately wafted through the open gateway, the Missing One smirked to himself. "This is just too easy," he said to himself, shaking his head as he stepped almost with a swagger into the narrow hall.

After he had passed, the door quietly reappeared seemingly out of nowhere, but the chaotic didn't look back as he ventured toward the end of the hall. Before him stood a staircase which spiraled far below his feet, extending nearly endlessly into unfathomable depths. Anyone prone to vertigo would instantly faint at the sight of such a thing, descending as far as invisibility.

The Missing One, however, paused at the head of the stairs. He stood there for a moment, thinking, before turning his eyeless glare into the infinite depths and barking out a word in the forgotten language. The air before him shimmered for a moment, like heat in the desert, but as the chaotic repeated the word more forcefully, the staircase consented to abruptly disappear into nothingness, leaving solely a large hole of utter darkness in the floor where it had been. As this was highly unusual behavior for a staircase to exhibit, one might have been surprised to see that the Missing One was unamazed at its sudden departure. On the contrary, he seemed almost disappointed.

"This really _is_ too easy," he muttered, now ignoring the hole at his feet and staring suspiciously into the darkness beyond. After considering the situation for a moment, he tensed into a crouch, scythes raised, and sprang into the air.

Ironically, he had just made a mistake opposite to that which the Lord of Evil had made upon possessing him. Forgetting that weight was meaningless in the depths of the mind, he had unintentionally applied far more power to his jump than was necessary. As such, he easily cleared the endless hole, flew on for another hundred or so yards, and smashed into the rocky ceiling. Dropping like a fly, he hit the floor painfully, groaning as his vision blurred.

He'd never thought that it could be possible to black out in one's own mind, but, he realized as darkness engulfed him, there seemed to be no other possible explanation ...

* * *

"But Coordinating is _good!_"

"It was a mistake, okay? I'm not into it any more, or something like that ..."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Do I _look_ like somebody who'd be in a Contest?"

"Well, actually—"

"Never mind. The point is, I'm not—"

Leaf tore her gaze from the two approaching, arguing boys and turned it instead to the sinuous movements of the far-off tide. It was another very warm day, but the storm had imbued the air with some new, clean, fresh quality. Bill's house lay several hundred yards to the south; its distant form looked even smaller compared to the taller hotels beside it. Behind her clouds still brooded on the edges of the jagged cliffs, but the ocean before her blazed with the joyous light of the morning sun. Standing on the seemingly endless green length of Cerulean Cape, she allowed herself to bask in the strangely intoxicating humidity. The grass beneath her sandals glittered with the remnant moisture of rainfall, and puddles dotted the ground here and there. The water kept sneaking into her sandals and getting her feet wet, but it was hard to feel it as she mentally dissected Roark's revelation.

So. He had been convinced that ribbons were superior to badges, and stubbornly traveled all the way to Kanto to get them. And yet somehow, last night, he'd realized he was wrong. It wasn't this that had shocked her — few sane people really sympathized with Coordinators if they could help it, and she'd been far more astonished when he'd revealed that goal in Pewter. No, what had surprised her was that the strength, the passion for Coordinating had abrupty vanished like dew. It was nothing more than a falsehood.

She frowned as she returned to the memory of his collapse in Cerulean Gym, which she knew had something to do with the unknown woman. The tan stranger had _known_ there was something wrong with his longing for ribbons. What had she said again? _"Living a lie ... saving him from himself ... leave a dream like that in someone's brain for too long ..."_ Was that really all it was, a dream? A powerful, consuming dream to leave the victim aching for something he never wanted, traveling down some dark road of unsatisfied desire until he finally descended into madness?

_But ..._ Leaf rubbed her temples as she tried to put the confusing facts in order. _But that was why he came to Kanto, wasn't it? Because of something that some unknown person put in his mind. But who'd want to make him leave Sinnoh, and why? There's too many pieces missing from this puzzle. How did that woman know? What did she do, anyway? And how had she managed to be there at the moment when Roark and Paris had been near each other for the first time?_

The thought of the not-shiny Lapras made her falter for a moment, her own heart still broken at the thought that she would never see that smiling indigo face again. _It's the same case with me,_ she realized suddenly, stiffening. _I was obsessed with something I never really had ... if I'd found out later than I did, would I have gone insane?_

"Oy! Is anybody home in there, hello?"

She blinked rapidly, realizing that Lightning had been snapping his fingers in front of her vision for the last few seconds. Satisfied that he had successfully pulled her from her reverie, the short blonde turned his gaze back toward Roark's retreating back; the miner was continuing to walk along the edge without noticing them, looking overly dramatic against the scenery. He had been very moody that morning, speaking rarely and with unprecedented sharpness. Leaf remembered that the woman had said he'd have to reconcile with himself in light of the disillusionment, but she wished he'd get over himself already. He didn't have to angst so much about it.

_Yeah, but_ you _still haven't gotten over the Paris thing_, remarked a snide voice within her head. She cringed at the reality of how right it was, and the thought of Paris stung yet again as she remembered how much she'd thought she'd loved her.

Anni, walking alongside him like some cartoonish sidekick, was muttering to him in a low voice, keeping her eyes fixed on him shrewdly as if to make sure he didn't leap off the cliff suddenly. The boy nodded, replying in curt, one-syllable answers. In light of recent events, this additional mystery — how can he understand Pokemon? — was little more than an intriguing sideshow, yet she still wondered fleetingly: _I thought Oak said the talent was unusual, but I've met two others with it already. First Cobalt, now Roark ..._

"He doesn't understand!" Lightning was almost wailing. Peach, standing on his shoulder as usual, hurried to pat his head reassuringly. "Contests are _incredible_, all about making dreams come true with lights and drama! Why can't he see that, Leaf, why?"

The Pokedex cleared its imaginary throat. _"You know, maybe it's because he's _blind?_ He does wear glasses, the four-eyes—"_

"Pokedex," Leaf sighed, "shut up."

"Leaf?"

The two teens and the mouse jumped in surprise, spinning around to see Fire standing beside her. They had absolutely no idea where exactly he had come from, or how he could sneak up like that without even the smallest sound.

"Sorry," he said, grinning weakly. "I probably should've said 'hey' or something ... look, Leaf, you're a much stronger battler than I used to think, and I had an idea that ... well, only if you want to, of course, but I was thinking that ..." He trailed off, looking uncertain.

The pause that followed was undoubtedly intended for one of the others to say something along the lines of "Oh, just tell me what it is," or "Well? We're listening," but as neither of them spoke, the silence fell rather flat.

Realizing that they were waiting for him to continue, Fire plunged on ahead. "So ... do you want to have a double battle against Misty, with me? You don't have to if you don't want to, of course," he added hastily, looking almost shy.

Leaf smiled at his hesitance. "Is that all? Of course, Fire, I'd love to. We can set up a time for this afternoon when she gets back."

"_If_ she gets back," Fire muttered. He was referring to the incident earlier that morning, in which the orange-headed gym leader had left the cottage for Cerulean, claiming that she was going to pick up something for everyone's breakfast (seeing as Bill's idea of said meal consisted of leftover casserole, and he didn't seem to have fully grasped the concept of refrigeration). The teens strongly suspected, however, that this was merely an excuse to get away from Bill, who had been drowning out her scolding lectures on the value of life and other such things by spouting useless information concerning his "wonderful wondrous scientific achievement wonders" and eagerly asking for an honest opinion on these things. Ocean had followed her back for reasons of his own; Leaf was quite sure that whatever made him return had less to do with helping her with breakfast and more to do with getting a better glimpse at Team Waterflower.

The girl knew, though, that Fire's gruff remark was merely an attempt to hide his full gratitude. Giving him a knowing nod, she said, "Well, no need to waste time. Let's get to practicing, shall we?"

Fire actually beamed at her. "Excellent," he said, releasing a Pokemon in the usual beam of red light; the blob condensed into the confused form of his blue turtle Pokemon. "Squirtle, I know we haven't ... got along well, but ... will you fight in the gym battle if we're with Leaf?"

Squirtle's gaze passed from him to the girl, then returned to his anxious face. "_If_ we're with Leaf," she replied quietly, repressing a slight shiver.

Leaf relayed this message, and Fire nodded to the fearful-looking Pokemon. "Great. Although, Leaf ..." He twirled Squirtle's Poke Ball in his hand, looking at her in concern. "Since this is a water gym we're facing, would you rather wait until later? We can swing back into the city and pick up Paris before—"

"I-I'd rather get the gym over with before I ... I can see her again," Leaf interrupted hastily. "It might be, be better to make up with her in the aftermath, you know? I can always use another Pokemon, and they do need experience." She eyed him nervously, hoping that he couldn't guess her real plan.

To her relief, he merely dipped his head in an understanding matter, which she thought rather ironic — even he wouldn't truly understand what was going through her head. "All right. So that would leave you with a choice between two to use. Your Charmander has an obvious weakness to water, but he _does_ know Sunny Day, which could be a huge help ... then again, your Beedrill can probably hover above the pool's surface, and could use String Shot to really slow Misty's Pokemon down ... it's up to you, of course," he added quickly.

Dragging her thoughts away from Paris, Leaf considered her available Pokemon. She actually wanted to win this battle — and she was quite sure that Wennett wouldn't be nearly as biased as Roark had been. And if they battled that afternoon, the stands would surely be filled with spectators, all eagerly intent on watching every moment of the battle.

Which essentially ruled Frosti out.

"Cheri," Leaf said, releasing the bee Pokemon, "we're going to battle Misty alongside Fire. It won't count as being in your debt again, will it?" she added anxiously, remembering the bug's cold words the night before.

The Beedrill stared at her for a moment, her wings fluttering slightly to create a soft buzzing. Then she glanced away. "No," she muttered, though her spears twitched ominously.

"In her debt?" Fire blinked, puzzled.

"Never mind."

_"Hey, guess what?"_

"I don't want to hear it!"

_"Don't kid yourself, Naaaarrrrrrrgh. You_ know _you want to. Beedrill, the NINJAS ARE BETTER THAN PIRATES Pokemon. Gender is Female. Gasp, really? Height is Ominous Stringy Alien Thingy, Weight is Dour Flower Superpower. Rhyming is fun, but the look on your face seems to suggest otherwise. Beedrill don't find many things to be fun either, since they're very protective of their territory and tend to stab people who trespass there. They usually attack in swarms, but if a lone Beedrill is injured, it can make its own swarm. Don't ask me how, that's what the data said! I suppose they do it because of weird spiritual power thingies that they might get in their vigorous training or whatever. Or they're just on drugs, which_ would _explain why they're so keen to keep intruders away—"_

"Pokedex, stop being weird. Lightning, could you sort of stand out of the way?"

The short blonde jumped, having tuned them out when the conversation stopped involving him. "Huh? Oh, yeah, right. Aha. Sorry." Swiveling around and almost tripping, he skipped to a nearby boulder and sat down on it, staring at them with an intensity that made everyone else sweatdrop.

"Oh, darling, I'm sure you can think up a contest strategy all by yourself," Peach crooned. Lightning, however, acted as if he hadn't heard her — which he couldn't, Leaf had to remind herself.

"You're freaking me out," Fire told him, looking dead serious.

"Sorry!" Lightning exclaimed, blushing as he looked away.

As the other two faced each other with their Pokemon, something shiny caught his eye — mostly because of the universal appeal of shiny things — and he looked curiously over his shoulder. Peach, feeling his face turn away, glanced around at the cliff face behind them, where an unidentifiable object glinted brightly in the sunlight, sticking out of the rock several yards above the ground. The object was far too high to reach by normal means, although it could probably be reached quite easily by the average Pidgey.

"So she'll probably try to blast Beedrill out of the air—" Fire was saying, when he and Leaf were abruptly distracted by Lightning's shout. With a sigh, he turned around to face the excited blonde. "Lightning, you're _really_ not helping. If you're going to be here, kindly shut up."

"But there's a thing up there!" Lightning explained loudly, jabbing his finger toward it as if he were pressing an invisible button.

Cheri shot him an exasperated look. "Humans have a sad habit of being vague," she commented to nobody in particular, before suddenly launching herself into the air, wings beating frantically in an almost invisible blur. Before Leaf could open her mouth to question her, the Beedrill had flown to the high-up object, spat a sticky String Shot at it, and soared back with lightning speed, touching the ground with a rather haughty glare. She probably would have looked a great deal more dignified if the white, somewhat moist thread wasn't dripping from her unseen mouth; as if sensing this, she hastily let go of it, and the object sticking to it hit the ground with a soft clack.

With a swift motion, Fire bent down and picked up the strange item from the fast-drying pile of thread. It appeared to be a TM case; the circular disc within could just be seen through the back of its container, which was decorated with soft bursts of color.

Confused at how a TM could conveniently turn up, Lightning felt a twinge of unsatisfied curiosity as he watched Fire and Leaf, who could easily see the words inscribed on its front. "So? What is it?" he asked, sounding rather more demanding than he had intended.

Fire's eyes narrowed in thought. "I think," he said slowly, "this could be just what we need to win ..."

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen!"

The sound of Wennett's voice, unnaturally loud thanks to the acoustics of the gym, roused Leaf from her dazed, humidity-induced state. Shivering in anticipation, she tightened her grip on the Poke Ball in her hand, wondering if Cheri could sense her tension from within. The movements of the pool before her matched those churning inside her stomach.

Beside her, Fire shot her a half smile, which she tried to return. Was he feeling any of the anxiety bubbling in her mind?

"Welcome, one and all! I can tell this is going to be a gripping battle, to say the least! Challengers Leaf McKenzie and Fire Takenaka will fight together against our own gym leader, Misty Waterflower!"

She tried not to glance toward the bleachers, she really did ... but it was as if her gaze was drawn magnetically toward the crowd of spectators, seated in neat rows almost halfway to the high, domed ceiling. Rows and rows of eyes, all watching from a seemingly vast expanse, as if the whole city were watching her. Dimly she noticed Ocean and Lightning near the front, Peach grinning; Bill near them, with his attention torn between the battlers and Team Waterflower, who were sitting in front of him and going through a series of disturbing cheerleader movements; Roark standing, leaning against the side of the bleachers and looking rather sullen, with Anni glaring up at him. Was Cobalt here, somewhere in the stands, perhaps sorry for saving her and now looking for an opportunity to undo his mistake?

"This is a double battle, two Pokemon per side, no switching." Wennett, standing at the edge of the pool directly between the opposing sides, paused to smile at the audience. Then he took a deep breath — the crowd mimicked him, eager for the fight — and declared, "Let the match beg—!"

There was a loud _SLAP!_ as the twin door-flaps suddenly flew open, smacking the walls with the abrupt force. Swiveling around, everyone stared in surprise when a haughty-looking young man strutted into the gym, smirking slightly. His pale blue tunic-like shirt fluttered slightly as he strode toward Misty, who was looking utterly flabbergasted at his appearance. One of his eyes was hidden by his dark blue hair, which was arranged so it fell over his face in a rather cool manner; the other, however, could be seen roving over the audience briefly before locking onto Misty.

Behind him came a small bird Pokemon, half hopping, half fluttering as it hurriedly followed him. Its feathers were such a dark brown as to be almost black, although splashes of white were clearly visible on its face, chest, and tail. A curling crest strongly resembling a cowlick sat above the gray spot on its forehead.

Fangirl screams suddenly washed over the audience as, one by one, people realized that this could only be one person.

"F-Falkner?" Misty stammered, as he approached where she stood. "What're you ... what're _you_ doing here?"

Leaf inadvertently squealed. Fire raised an eyebrow at her.

"What am I doing here?" the young man repeated, more for effect than anything else. "Well, seeing as I have a great amount of talent—" He flipped his hair in an airy way, drawing a collective sigh from the crowd. "—I have managed to defeat my five-hundredth challenger. Quite an achievement. As such ..." Pausing, he withdrew a bluish envelope from within his tunic; its bright gold seal displayed a pair of wings. "As such, I'm inviting you to an _exclusive_ celebration."

Misty stared at him suspiciously. "How exclusive?"

"Super exclusive." He grinned, looking mischievous; the expression drew a great deal of noise from the fangirls, and as such the audience conveniently missed the rest of their exchange. "As in, you might just be the only guest there, if you know what I mean."

The redhead blanched. "What the hell?"

"Oh yes." Grinning wider, he thrust the envelope towards her. "This is what you've been waiting for, and you know it. It'll tell you _everything_ you need to know." A look of stern seriousness crossed his face for the briefest of moments, so brief that the sight of his broad grin a blink later made Leaf almost sure she had imagined it.

Several seconds passed, in which Misty glared defiantly into his leering face. "You perv," she snapped finally, though she snatched the envelope from his hand all the same. "Don't expect me to go through with this!"

He shrugged while looking superior at the same time, which is in all actuality a difficult feat. Then he muttered something to her in an undertone that Leaf couldn't catch; Misty, however, nodded rather distractedly, looking strangely concerned. Intrigued, Leaf strained her hearing, wondering what this could be about—

_"LOOK!"_ the Pokedex exclaimed suddenly, causing Leaf to jump as its voice suddenly blasted from the handbag on the concrete by her feet. _"WHO'S THAT POKEMON, YOU ASK? WHY, IT'S STARAVIA, THE—"_

"Shut up!" Leaf growled, kicking it further into the depths of her stunning yellow accessory. By the time she had looked up again, however, Falkner was waving serenely at the crowd. The Staravia by his feet glared at the Pokedex for its abrupt outburst; as if catching its expression, the orange contraption snickered.

"Thank you!" the blue-haired gym leader called to them, hardly raising his voice: with the acoustics surrounding him, there was little need to. "I appreciate your support! Come, Mukubird," he added in a dramatic voice, turning to his bird Pokemon. "Let us fly back to the gym. My fans await me."

"Muku!" the bird chirped in agreement, spreading his wings and pushing himself into the air with ease. He then soared directly above his trainer's head, the wind howling wildly about him; as if by some unspoken signal, Falkner raised his hands and grasped his Pokemon's clawed feet; somehow the bird managed to lift him with ease, never slackening his wingbeats, flying with unbelievable speed as they brushed the door-flaps aside with ease, the sounds of the gale fading with them.

Lightning, amid the starstruck sighs of surrounding fangirls, frowned slightly. "... 'Mukubird'?" he asked curiously. "What's a 'Mukubird'? I thought that was a Staravia!"

"It's the name the Japanese know it by," Ocean explained, looking distracted; he had been almost as fascinated by Falkner's sudden appearance as the female population in the stands.

The blonde stared at him. "What do the Japanese have to do with anything?"

"Um ..." Misty's voice cut across whatever Ocean might have said. "Sorry about this, people. Delays are stupid ..."

But Leaf noticed that she had hastily stuffed the letter into her pocket, still looking slightly worried; whatever Falkner had said, the brunette highly doubted that its contents really had anything to do with any "exclusive" celebration. Pondering on his thin, handsome face, she realized with a start that she had seen it somewhere else before ... but no, it couldn't be ...

Wennett, who looked rather flustered at being interrupted at a climactic moment, raised an appraising eyebrow. "Miss," he asked in a tense voice, "why is it that random foreign gym leaders keep appearing seemingly out of nowhere, and for no good reason?"

"I'm not random," Roark muttered sullenly from his position beside the stands.

"Whatever." Misty waved everyone off. "Let's just ... let's just battle, okay?"

Leaf and Fire exchanged glances. There was something odd going on here ...

"Well, alright," Wennett consented, shaking his hair out of his eyes. Clearing his throat, he declared, "Let the match ... begin!"

The audience cheered — though perhaps rather halfheartedly, with its collective mind still wondering at Falkner's random appearance — as the challengers tossed their Poke Balls into the air in unison; Misty launched two of the red-and-white orbs, one after the other, in quick succession, so that the four beams of neon red appeared at almost exactly the same time. Cheri fluttered her wings rapidly as she rose into the air beside her trainer, ruby eyes narrowed, still feeling the hype of their earlier practice. Squirtle, standing on the concrete next to Fire, looked rather wary of both her trainer and the opposition.

A stranger pair of teammates Leaf had never seen: uncoiling in the water was the peculiar red sea serpent which Leaf had laid eyes upon yesterday, although she had not had time to properly examine it then. Its body was mainly scarlet, although the scales along its underside, throat to tail, were pure golden and sparkled as water splashed them almost playfully. Along its back stretched a single fin, pale blue and shimmering as if it were a flame. Beneath each wide, innocent silver eye was an odd gold crescent shape, which shifted slightly as the serpent beamed cheerfully at everyone in sight. Its entire frame, from its smiling head to its lashing, long-finned tail, seemed to radiate happiness and contentment that made everyone relax and smile as well in spite of themselves.

The beast was so large that it was several seconds before Leaf spotted Misty's second Pokemon, until it broke through the surface of the water, floating as it fixed its gaze upon the challengers — a figure of speech, as no eyes could be seen anywhere on its tan, star-shaped body. In the center of its body, where its five appendages met, a strange golden formation sat, boasting a jewel-like core that flickered rhythmically in an endless cycle between brilliant ruby to dim crimson.

Fire uttered a word that will remain unwritten here, seeing as the mysterious person chronicling this adventure does not wish to incur the wrath of those most venomous of all creatures, the soccer moms.

Leaf blinked, startled. "What—"

"That!" he snarled furiously, pointing at the serpent Pokemon, which was still grinning in an extremely annoying way. "I was hoping this wouldn't happen! We can't beat one of _those_—!"

"Get Beedrill with Rapid Spin, Staryu! Joyfeel, Wrap that Squirtle!"

"Withdraw to protect yourself!" Fire only just had time to shout; the two opposing water Pokemon shot forward eagerly, the star launching itself into the air while the serpent sliced through the water like a knife through butter.

Too stunned by the sudden action to call out an order, Leaf stared as Staryu smashed into Cheri, although it had fortunately only managed to knock her down to the concrete. Glaring at her foe as if it had just made some grave insult, the Beedrill struck back, goring the soft body viciously with each spear. Staryu twitched pitifully as tried to wrench itself from the insect's unmerciful Twineedle. "You're being rude!" it squealed, in spite of having no mouth to speak of.

"Come _on_, Leaf!" Fire yelled, too intent on watching Squirtle and Joyfeel to even look at her. "You have to be a hell of a lot faster than that! Squirtle, Tail Whip it, try to smack it if you can!"

"Ah—!" Leaf shook herself slightly, pushing all her troubling thoughts out of her head. Only this battle mattered right now. "Cheri, Focus Energy for now, then hit it with Fury Attack when it frees itself!"

"Free yourself, Rapid Spin Squirtle!" Misty barked, as Cheri took a deep breath, her narrow chest expanding as she concentrated. "Aqua Tail, cut that turtle!"

With an almighty yank, Staryu threw itself from the bug's spears; the momentum carried it into the air, and it instantly whirled towards Squirtle, smashing into her. Attention diverted momentarily, Leaf stared as the star pounded against Squirtle's shell; the shy Pokemon had retracted her head and limbs, and her tail was uselessly slapping at the huge beast's side. Joyfeel's own long, red-and-gold tail, tightly constricting the turtle, abruptly came alive with a bright blue glow; water from the pool rose almost obediently, arcing under and over the serpent's tail to pound Squirtle from either side.

Then Cheri, eyes alight with battle fire, buzzed into the fray: Staryu, which had fallen back into the pool after its assault on Squirtle, was taken by surprise as the bug descended upon it — once, twice, three times the spears flashed in florescent light — the star reeled backward in the water, more holes gaping in its body to add to those that Twineedle had left behind. "You're such a rude ... rude person!" it wailed.

"Great, Cheri!" Leaf cheered, actually bouncing up and down slightly. "Harden yourself in case it Rapid Spins again!"

"Squirtle, hit that snake in the face with a Bubble!" Fire ordered shortly; he seemed to be too focused on keeping own Pokemon on the field to congratulate his partner for her quick thinking — at least, that was the excuse Leaf gave herself.

"Recover yourself," Misty commanded, fists clenched. "Joyfeel, keep a tight grip on that Squirtle, but hit Beedrill with your Ember."

Leaf choked. _"Ember?"_

Fire snarled the unprintable word again. This time, however, the overprotective mothers in the stands were quicker on the uptake, and managed to put their hands over the ears of their fascinated children in time.

Huddled near its far larger teammate, Staryu glowed faintly; the holes in its body slowly became shallower, the gaping wounds swallowed up by healthy flesh. Tensing her muscles, Cheri shot a death stare at the healing star, only to be blasted through the air with a sudden onslaught of small flames — several shining bubbles wafted upwards from one of the holes of Squirtle's shell, through which two terrified red eyes could be seen — but most of the glittering spheres merely struck the Ember flames shooting from Joyfeel's grinning, wide-open mouth, and the rival elements of fire and water canceled out, leaving only slight patches of steam to show they had ever existed. Screeching a very un-bug-like screech, Cheri reeled backward as the fire licked at her slender body with a malicious hunger; even though the flames winked out quickly enough, courtesy of the moist atmosphere of the gym, her lower body had been left blackened and charred.

"_I'm guessing this would be a good time for info?"_ asked a cheeky voice. The Pokedex sat nestled in Leaf's handbag, and were it not a machine, Leaf could have almost sworn it was enjoying itself.

"Obviously," Leaf spat, more sharply than she had intended. "Cheri, land a few Poison Stings on that snake, but don't get roasted. C'mon, you," she added, swooping down without taking her eyes off the scene and grabbing the Pokedex, pointing it at her foes.

_"Aha, stupid-looking things. My favorite kind. Staryu, the Cookie Cutter Pokemon. Gender is None. HOLY CRAP EVERYBODY, COME AND LOOK AT THE ASEXUAL FREAK OVER HERE!"_

"Hey!" the Staryu protested, wiggling its appendages. "That's very rude! I consider myself to be female, you know! Now stop being rude!"

_"Shut up, I wasn't done. Height is Little Green She-Man Who Is Brown, Weight is I Eat Fast Food, Does It Show? Staryu are asexual freaks with weird arm thingies. If you cut them off, they grow back. Speaking of that, I've heard that certain prisoners of war are wishing for that very ability right now, although not necessarily for their arms, if you know what I mean. Also, its red core is kind of like a freakish alien heart, and its glow is a sort of heartbeat. It's easiest to determine a Staryu's health by looking at the core, since it sure as hell ain't easy to tell from the way it heals its freakish asexual body, the freak."_

"... I don't like you anymore, rude orange thing," Staryu sniffed, before getting Tackled by Squirtle, who had somehow managed to free herself from Joyfeel's tight coils.

"Wow! I got hit!" exclaimed an all-too-cheery voice; Joyfeel was staring at the places on its body where several small, spear-induced wounds were dotted. Cheri was darting around it in a hovering circle, looking incredulous.

"It's Recover's helped it!" Fire said hotly, watching the star's core flicker rapidly. "Squirtle, blast that thing with a Water Gun!"

"Counter with your own Water Gun!" Misty ordered. "Joyfeel, Ember the bug!"

"String Shot, Cheri, prevent that Ember!" Leaf cried.

Fire raised an eyebrow, no doubt cynical about how a String Shot could stop the serpent's flames, but the reason was soon made plain: Cheri, the faster of the two, fired a sticky string into Joyfeel's wide-open, smiling mouth, hitting the bulls-eye of its throat. Half a second later came the fire; blocked from its natural path by the impeding string, the flames seemed to be licking the beast's esophagus, for Joyfeel squealed in pain, thrashing its head around while still somehow grinning. Yet this didn't last long — only a few seconds had passed it shook its head rapidly to clear it, before it beamed cheekily at the audience. But this was another mistake: Cheri, not missing a beat, was instantly circling the serpent's grinning muzzle, rapidly firing String Shots as she flew. By the time Joyfeel had realized what had happened, Cheri had already retreated to a safe distance, and the water snake's jaws had been clamped tightly shut with the strings, a muzzle inches thick and already hardening.

"Mmph!" Joyfeel protested, even though it was _still_ smiling underneath the binding strings.

_"I know, weird, right? That's the other one, and it's creeping me out. No, seriously, it is. STOP GRINNING, YOU PSYCHO! I NEED TO THINK ... Joyfeel, the Pretty, Witty and Gay Pokemon. Gender is Female. Oh wait, would that make it Pretty, Witty and Lesbian instead—?"_

"STOP BEING AN ASS, YOU STUPID ORANGE MACHINE!" Misty screamed; her face red almost beyond recognition, she appeared to be more on edge than both of the challengers combined. "MY POKEMON IS _NOT_ A LESBIAN!"

_"Humans really_ don't _have a sense of humor,"_ the Pokedex sighed, as Joyfeel splashed uselessly around the pool, glaring at the machine while still grinning. _"No wonder the world sucks. With you guys ruling it ... but I digress. Height is Wow, Are You Horny Today?, Weight is Oh Yeah, You Definitely Are. This thing is a damn annoying bastard because it grins ALL THE TIME. Even if it's being tortured. What the hell, I say. Just, what the hell. AND,"_ it added hastily, noticing Leaf's exasperated face, _"it's got this uberly annoying ability to heal itself with water. Good luck taking that bugger down, then, if it's in there ALL THE TIME. Also, it's got fiery attributes as well, in case that Ember wasn't a hint. You know what that means, don't you? It's one of those GIGGLY SNAKE DEMONS OF HELL, AND IT'S GOING TO EAT YOUR CHILDREN! RUN! RUN FER YER LIVES, MORTALS!"_

Somewhere in the audience came a squeal of fear that could only belong to Ocean.

"I am _not_ amused," Misty snapped at it poisonously. "Joyfeel, can you free yourself?"

The serpent shook her head, whimpering (but still grinning).

"Then let's stop this playing around crap," the gym leader said decisively. "Brace yourselves, guys. This is where the kid gloves come off. Flame Wheel and Swift, no mercy!"

"Yeah? Well, you're not the only one who can wear kid gloves!" Leaf retorted, before realizing how stupid that sounded. "Er ... Cheri, back to the pool's edge, hit the snake with a Secret Power!"

Misty blinked. "Secret wha—?"

"BLAST IT WITH BRINE!" Fire shouted, making both the girls jump. From the sound of it, he sounded rather frustrated himself.

In the audience, Ocean chuckled appreciatively. "That was such an epic voice! It was like a teenage Terminator ... 'blahst eet weeth Breine!' ... that should be on par with 'lieking Mudkipz'."

Lightning stared at him. "You're not making any sense _at all_."

The spike-headed boy's reply was cut off by the scene on the battlefield: with an almighty leap Joyfeel burst from the pool waters, flame inexplicably erupting from her long fin as she rolled in midair toward Cheri, somersaulting in a flickering wheel of fire; the bug, buzzing hastily toward the concrete, was not fast enough to get out of the serpent's path, and she screamed a dreadful cry as the living circle of fire smashed into her — there was a dreadful _crunch_ as the Beedrill was forcibly sandwiched between concrete and snake — a collective gasp from the audience —

"COME ON, CHERI!" Leaf cried out, surprised at the force of her own volume. "STAY IN IT, GIRL, DO IT NOW!"

From underneath Joyfeel's body, as the flames abruptly died down, a twitching, pencil-thin black leg protruded ... Filled with pent-up emotion, Leaf choked back a sob as she reached for her Poke Ball ... Joyfeel beamed at the audience triumphantly, satisfied that her foe had been vanquished.

"Ouch, that must have hurt!" Wennett's voice seemed strangely far away. "Sorry, Leaf, but your Beedrill has fain—"

A muffled, ominous buzzing cut him off, and the next second found everyone gaping, openmouthed, as Joyfeel was thrown into the air, twisting and squealing in surprise. With a sudden, jerky movement, Cheri leapt to her feet; she swayed dangerously, and her ruby eyes were tiredly half-closed, but there was a determined twitch of her spears as she launched herself into the air, wings buzzing frantically. There was a collective "ooh!" from the audience as something that looked like pink lightning leapt from the concrete beneath her and up onto her small black feet, quickly engulfing her in a blinding, brightly colored glow that sizzled and crackled.

Joyfeel, realizing what was going on, flailed in midair in a useless attempt to avoid the oncoming attack, but Cheri would not be deterred: there was a bright flash as they collided, and Joyfeel unleashed a horrible yowl from her clamped jaws: the lightning had leapt almost gleefully to the snake's body and was slicing through her thrashing coils in a rather hungry manner. The Beedrill immediately fluttered out of the way, shaking her head in an attempt to clear it, as her narrowed eyes followed Joyfeel fall back to earth, smashing into the concrete with a loud _SLAP_ and a soft whimper.

"B- ... Beedrill has _not_ fainted!" Wennett exclaimed, his surprised voice almost drowned out by the raucous cheers of those in the stands. "And what an amazing comeback, paralyzing Joyfeel like that!"

Joyfeel, twitching as her muscles seized up painfully, raised her head and shot Cheri a glare and a glowing Ember; but the motion was so agonizingly slow that the bug avoided the flames easily.

"YES!" Leaf yelled, actually jumping for joy and ignoring everyone's confused stares as she did so. "Great, Cheri! Finish her with Twineedle, you've got this one in the bag!"

As Cheri swooped down at the hapless serpent, Leaf frowned as a faint noise reached her ears: the buzzing emanating from the bug's wings, already magnified by the acoustics of the gym, had increased to an even greater volume, as if an entire swarm of invisible Beedrill had joined Cheri in the fight. The girl rubbed her eyes and stared at her Pokemon harder — it had to be the chlorine in the air, she told herself: surely she was only _thinking_ that there were ghostly, insect-like shades surrounding the bug as she dived — and that faint, warlike drumbeat, she had to be imagining that, too —

But there was no imagining the almost blind ferocity of Cheri's onslaught: there was a dual flash of spears, another terrible muffled scream, and Joyfeel recoiled as blood spurted from the fresh, gaping wound in her side, staring at it in a strange sort of delighted horror.

"Keep at it, Cheri!" Leaf called, but there was no need to say so: Cheri had already leapt at the serpent again, her spears dripping red.

"DAMMIT!" Misty hollered, her face now bearing a startling resemblance to an overripe tomato. "Joyfeel, try to get it with Ember! Staryu, Water Gun her to heal her!"

"Not likely!" Fire shot back. "Intercept that, Squirtle!"

Tearing her gaze away from her Pokemon's seemingly mindless bloodlust, Leaf turned her attention to the other half of the pool, which she had almost forgotten in the excitement of Cheri's struggle. Whatever happened over here had left both Staryu and Squirtle bobbing about in the water, looking exhausted. Staryu, its body once again bearing the marks of battle, half-heartedly unleashed a Water Gun, which spurted from its topmost point toward its teammate; Squirtle, however, leapt weakly into the air, and the burst of water smacked into her instead. As she hit the pool's surface with a splash, panting heavily, Leaf noticed that the water seemed to be churning beneath her tired body ... and almost immediately Squirtle fixed her gaze upon her foe, her eyes glowing an unnatural neon blue.

"Excellent!" Fire, Leaf was startled to see, was actually smiling. "Exactly what we need! Squirtle, finish it off with Brine!"

"Here it comes!" Squirtle announced in a strained voice, opening her mouth wide ... as if a dam had burst within, a sudden flood of water spewed from her jaws, its acidic stench mingling with the chlorinated air as it rushed towards the tired foe; Staryu yelled indignantly as the rush blasted it right out of the pool.

The people in the stands stared in awe as the flailing, rubbery star Pokemon flew towards them.

"Whoa!" Ocean breathed in awe. "A shooting star! I should wish for something, right? What should I—?"

_SMACK!_

"Mmph ... I wish it would get off my face."

"Here," Lightning said, grabbing at the star with both hands and pulling as hard as he could; after a few moments, there was a loud and disgusting sound rather like a plunger at work, and Staryu flopped down on Ocean's lap, dripping.

"You're all ... so ... rude ..." it muttered, the core in its center flickering feebly, before its appendages drooped and it lay still.

"Staryu has fainted!" Wennett shouted, peering at the star. "Would you toss that to me, gentlemen? I need to check, to see if it's really — OOF! Yes, it's definitely fainted."

Misty made a strangled sort of noise as she recalled Staryu. "Dammit," she said again. "Joyfeel, stay in this! Ember, Twister, whatever you can do, do it and do it now!"

"Wow! I'm hurting a lot!" Joyfeel groaned happily, her words not immediately distinguishable. Out of the water, the serpent looked a great deal less majestic and more awkward. Stabbing twice again, Cheri seemed to be working herself into a bloodthirsty frenzy, eyes glowing with an eerie red light. Waving her tail about weakly, Joyfeel whipped up a small blue tornado, which whistled in the air for a moment before smacking into Cheri, tossing her around in the air for a few moments; this seemed to only heighten the bug's fury, however, as the tornado eventually dropped her and she immediately stabbed the serpent with even greater vigor.

"Alright, Squirtle, you're tired, but we're almost done. Help Beedrill now, Tackle Joyfeel until it's out cold!"

The blue turtle shot her trainer the briefest of glares before turning her attention back to the situation at hand, her rapid swimming tearing through the water swiftly, spray flying from her feet as she kicked. Launching herself out of the pool, she smacked at Joyfeel's scaly body with her head, leaving a rapidly forming bruise: only a fool would deny that Joyfeel couldn't hold out much longer.

"Wow, I'm really tired," Joyfeel murmured, eyelids fluttering. In a feeble, last effort to hold her own, the serpent blew a few tiny, flickering flames out of her nostrils, but these only hit Squirtle, who didn't seem to notice them at all. As the twin spears gored her hide once more, and the rock-hard skull smacked against her scales, the great serpent shuddered, stiffened, and lay her head on the floor.

The stands erupted into cheers. Leaf, her ears ringing, blinked and turned to stare at the people standing there, all staring at the scene as they applauded ... they were on her side, she realized, on her side from the start ...

"And Joyfeel has also fainted!" Wennett had to strain his voice to be heard over the tumultuous noise. "And with a stunning two-zero victory, Leaf and Fire win the match!"

Fire, beaming at everything he could see, recalled Squirtle as he waved triumphantly. Shaking her head briefly to clear the ringing in her ears, Leaf glanced over at Cheri, who was standing triumphantly in a pool of blood — Misty had wordlessly returned Joyfeel while Wennett was speaking. Making a mental note to heartily congratulate her Beedrill, Leaf smiled proudly as she aimed the Poke Ball at the bug, who disappeared in the usual beam of red light. Returning her attention to the audience, whose members were now starting to get up and stretch, she caught sight of the familiar faces gazing back at her: Ocean grinning, water still dripping down his face; Lightning with a rather strained smile, as he was edging away from Ocean; even Roark had dropped his gloomy matter and was now beaming, though he had pressed himself further into the side of the stands in order to avoid attracting attention from a group of people who were obviously fangirls, since they were chattering excitedly about Falkner as they passed his hiding place.

And then — Leaf did a double take, blinking in disbelief — she caught sight of the strange, tanned woman, sitting calmly amid the sea of moving spectators and staring directly at Leaf. She didn't seem to be upset at being spotted; on the contrary, her mouth stretched into a smirk that the girl could easily see from the pool's side.

_Her again!_ Leaf pressed her lips into a thin line. All her worries and uncertainties, blissfully lost in the tide of the battle, suddenly came flooding back in a rush at the sight of that tan face. _I'll have to get some info out of her somehow. Well, she'll have to wait, I've got to find Paris first. She doesn't look like she'll be leaving anytime soon, anyway._

"You did great," came Misty's resigned voice. Slightly startled, Leaf turned to see the gym leader standing next to Fire and herself; although she still looked flushed, most of the tomato-red color had drained from her cheeks. "I haven't had such a badass fight in ages. So, here're the Cascade Badges — yeah, here they are — and also some complimentary TMs."

Leaf stared at the shimmering blue badge as it was pressed into her sweaty palm. Shaped like a large water droplet, it threw the florescent light back at strange angles; with the humid moisture in the air giving it an extra-shiny appearance, she could almost imagine that it was a real raindrop, its shape preserved as if by magic. The TM's case, decorated with a large globe of sparkling blue water, boasted the words "TM03: Water Pulse" on its front. Tearing her gaze from it, she picked up her handbag and shoved the items into it, ignoring the Pokedex's indignant muttering as she pushed it slightly to the side in doing so.

_And now,_ she thought grimly, heading towards the door at the far side of the gym, _time for Paris._

"It's time for fun and time for cheer ..." sang three young women merrily as they cartwheeled past Leaf to the door, where one of them swung the door open and they all stood there, grinning at her as she approached. "... Because Team Waterflower's here!"

Next second, an enormous blue shape had burst from the room beyond the door and barreled into Leaf, who let out a pained "OOF!" as they hit the concrete together. Rubbing her throbbing head, Leaf squinted against the brightness of the lights on the ceiling to see that Paris was sitting on top of her, positively beaming.

"Mommy! You came back!" squealed the Lapras, bowing her head down to nuzzle Leaf's face. "I was waiting so long, I thought you were _never_ gonna come, but you did! Where'd you go, Mommy? Why couldn't I come?"

"Urk," Leaf gasped. "Hi, Paris. Can you get off me? You're squishing me."

"Oh, sorry!" the Pokemon giggled, and she leapt off at once, gazing at her trainer with adoring eyes as the girl slowly and painfully got to her feet. She had grown again in her absence, Leaf noted: the top of her horned head was now mid-thigh.

"Oh, Paris," Leaf sighed, scratching the Lapras's head. "You're growing up so fast, I can't carry you in my arms anymore! Although," she added pensively, catching herself, "I wouldn't have, anyway ..."

Paris cocked her head to the side, staring at Leaf cutely. "What do you mean, Mommy?"

_Just do it,_ Leaf told herself, meeting the turtle-like Pokemon's black-eyed gaze. _Get it over with. You knew this was coming._

_But she's so young!_ Another voice near the back of her mind stirred. _What if she can't handle it? Even if she could, what'll she do? It's not worth risking that just yet, is it?_

_You still have to deal with it._

_She_ trusts _you with her whole heart! How can you betray that?_

_It has to be done. You knew that from the moment you first saw the second skin in the pool._

_But she loves—_

_Do it! NOW!_

"Paris," Leaf began, then paused, frowning. How was she supposed to go about doing this?

"What?"

She wrung her hands, trying to find the right words. "P-Paris, I ... look, there's no easy way to say this, but we know both know that you're not the Pokemon I thought you were. You never were, really. It was all a lie, a big, fat, stupid lie, and I was selfish enough to lap it up, and ... I don't want my stupid selfishness ruining both of us in the long run. That's not the way a real friendship would work. So, what I guess I'm trying to say is ..."

The Lapras followed Leaf's hand with her eyes as the girl plucked a Poke Ball from her belt. Though her heart hammered painfully at the thought of what she was about to do, Leaf forced herself to continue, and Paris's curious smile died at the fatal words:

"I'm releasing you."

* * *

A/N: Stuff on Joyfeel. You wish you had one.

Type: Water/Fire  
Classification: Cheer Pokemon  
Height: 19'04"  
Weight: 387.6 lbs.  
Ability: Water Absorb  
Egg Groups: Water 2/Dragon  
Gender: 50% male, 50% female  
Color: Red  
Catch Rate: 60  
Evolution: ? → (max Happiness) → Joyfeel  
A Pokemon that evolved against all odds, Joyfeel is the absolute opposite of its pre-evolution. Like Gyarados and Milotic before it, it is a powerful water serpent which evolved from a weak and pathetic fish. It is constantly smiling and always partly happy, no matter what the rest of its mood might be comprised of. They are shy Pokemon rarely found in the wild, but they are said to be attracted to feelings of great happiness: often, during celebrations on a waterfront, beautiful jets of their flame can be seen flying from the water's surface into the sky, like fireworks.


	19. Hello Goodbye

And more drama. Mama drama, llama drama, drama on a stick. Sometimes I wonder whether I should add Drama as a secondary genre ...

And yes, I am aware that the guidelines clearly state "no keyboard-dialogue" based entries. Since this isn't a chat-based story, though, I think I'm okay with having a chat scene or two. Right?

* * *

Chapter Nineteen: Hello Goodbye (The Woes of Ketsuban! Paris's Tears!)

She hadn't meant the words to be so loud, honest to Arceus, but Leaf's voice rang ominously in the air long after she had closed her mouth. Paris, frowning in confusion, opened her mouth to say something, but two voices cut her off unceremoniously.

"WHAT?"

There was a loud series of slapping sounds as twin pairs of feet pushed against the concrete floor; next moment somebody seized Leaf's shoulder forcefully and spun her around, and she jumped slightly backward when she saw how close the two people were. There are many differences between an anti-cheerleader and a vagabond miner, yet Leaf was astounded at how similar the outraged looks on their faces were.

"Are you _insane_?" the two yelled in perfect unison; in any other situation it could have been comical. "You're _releasing_ her? She's just a kid, for the love of Mew! What do you think you're _doing_, releasing her? And stop talking when I'm talking!" they added, turning to snap at each other now. "_I've_ got the right to scold her, not you!"

The Pokedex chose this moment to snicker annoyingly.

"Shut the hell up, Roark!" Misty snarled, shoving him with enough force to send him staggering backwards a few steps. "I'm the one with authority to make sure no water Pokemon is abused. _Especially_ not in my own gym! I'm the fricking foremost water expert in Kanto! Damn, Leaf, I actually thought you had good judgment for a while!"

Roark scowled back at her. "No way, Misty, _I'm_ dealing with this. I've got a heck of a lot more right to, anyway!"

The girl sneered. "Says who?"

"Says me."

"Oh, that makes so much difference! Not."

"I'm the trainer of the Lapras's dad!"

"... Screw you."

"Leaf," Roark said, turning to the brunette and grabbing her shoulders as Misty sullenly withdrew a few paces, "Let me get this straight. You have a powerful, rare, beautiful, even-tempered, agreeable Pokemon that a lot of people would kill for. Your care is pretty much all she's ever known. You've raised her from an _egg_. She's closer to you than to her own _father_. And you're planning to release her."

The girl nodded. "Yeah, that's pretty much it."

His grip tightened at her nonchalant tone. "'Pretty much it'? Do you even _care_?"

"I used to. But it's hard to care for something that turns out to be worthless."

His eyes practically bugged out of his head. "_Worthless_? Were you listening at all to what I just said?"

"Well, duh. But she's brought loads of chaos and confusion into my life _because_ of her supposed worth. And if it was all for nothing ..." She gestured toward Paris, whose huge black eyes were filling up with tears. "Then the cause is pretty much worthless, isn't it? All the pain with none of the reward."

"She didn't _do_ anything."

"She didn't have to! If it wasn't for her — well, I guess we'd all be in a better situation. We wouldn't be stalked by that Cobalt guy, Pewter City wouldn't have flooded, I wouldn't have been almost gutted by a Shadow—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the cart there!" He let go of her shoulders, and Leaf, after her initial confusion at his impromptu miner lingo, spotted some sort of curiosity sparking in his eyes. "Did you just say something about a 'Cobalt'?"

"Yes." She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "A Rocket admin, I think. Following us because _Paris_ here wasn't anything like what everyone thought she was! The one sure way to ditch him is to ditch _her_." She pointed at the Lapras, whose lower lip was starting to tremble. "Why, do you know of one?"

"_Know_ of one? Leaf, I _am_ one!"

_I am one!_ rang the echoes of his voice, striking against the walls like a sudden slap in the face.

_"Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun!"_ the Pokedex said dramatically, before chuckling.

Then there was a moment of dead silence, aside from Paris's sniffling.

"You're ..." Leaf began, but she broke off, staring at him as if only seeing him for the first time.

More silence. They became acutely aware that people were staring at them.

Suddenly—

POW!

"UGH!"

"That's right!" Leaf snapped, watching Roark reel backward from the force of her punch, clutching his jaw. "Get away, you two-faced bastard! Everything you've been telling us was a complete lie, isn't it? You only dropped your criminal look to get closer to Paris!"

"Leaf ..." Lightning's voice drifted from somewhere to her left.

But she wasn't going to just _stop_. Not when she was on a roll.

"Honesty never occurred to you at all? Of course not, not when all of this was just a pack of lies, lies, lies! It all started with Paris showing up, and then this damn pit we dug just got deeper and deeper! Well, there's no way _you're_ climbing out of it now!"

"Leaf—"

"Shut _up_, Lightning! No wonder you wore wigs, I'd know your stupid girl hair anywhere! And to think," she added, wearing an expression of utmost disgust, "I actually _believed_ you ... believed _in_ you ... you were my fricking idol! And then you just go and—"

"Leaf! Listen to me!" Lightning ordered, coming seemingly out of nowhere and shaking her. As she was about a head taller than he was, this arrangement was incredibly awkward. "Roark _isn't_ Cobalt! At least, not the Cobalt we know. He was _with_ us when the actual Cobalt ran out of the Bill's cottage, remember? Unless there's some weird time paradox thing going on here, there's no way he could've been in two places at once!"

The girl blinked slowly as common sense caught up with her. "Oh ... yeah. But," she protested, trying hard not to look at the rapidly forming bruise on Roark's jaw (her fist throbbing painfully at the sight), "b-but ... why'd he say he's Cobalt, if he's not? That doesn't even make sense!"

Somewhere out of sight, Fire sighed. "_Honestly_, Leaf, did you never pay any attention in History?"

"It's not like there was ever anything to learn," she retorted, and was rewarded with the sound of the boy facepalming.

"Enough of this." Roark, massaging the site of injury, fumbled at his belt with his free hand. Righteous anger sharpened the edges of his face. "You will NOT be releasing her, do you hear me?"

Leaf shook her head. "I'm sorry, Roark, I've made my mind up. I just can't keep her on my team anymore."

He didn't need to respond; the expression of utmost disgust conveyed everything he couldn't say. Without a word, he tossed a Poke Ball into the air; a hulking, monstrous shape appeared in the usual beam of light, and a second later Skipper stood crouching there, looking around in confusion. Then he caught sight of Paris, who had started to sob quietly, and his small orange eyes, widening in sympathy, darted to his trainer's face to Leaf's coldly determined air, to the Poke Ball she held in a death grip.

Who said brains never come along with brawn?

"No," he breathed. Then, with a suddenness to elicit shocked cries from the innocent bystanders, he lunged at Leaf. "NO!"

Her eyes widened and she dropped her handbag: even when she had first seen him lying injured on the beach, an unknown figure, he seemed incapable of causing real fear to her; yet now, as his eyes flashed dangerously and his broad paws flew at her with terrifying force, she felt the age-old survival instinct rise up within her: _Save yourself!_

She only managed to throw herself to the side just in time: the powerful rush of Skipper's movement whistled ominously above her as his great blue bulk flew through the space she'd been standing in only a second before. There was no time for relief, however, because in the next moment she toppled into the nearby pool with a loud _SPLASH!_ The echoing noises died away for a moment as her head disappeared beneath the water, her long hair drifting about her face in a ghostly manner; but with a great heave she pushed herself half out of the water, gasping for air. Taking a deep, rejuvenating breath, she pushed her hair out of her eyes with her free hand and looked up.

The sudden sight of twin glaring orbs almost made her inhale the pool water.

"That's my daughter," Skipper growled, in his softest, most dangerous voice. Dimly Leaf registered the soft sounds of muffled crying drifting from somewhere behind him. "She's only a little girl. I trusted you to take care of her, and—"

But his words died into a furious roar: Leaf, trying hard not to listen to a word he was saying, hastily smashed the Poke Ball against the concrete poolside, and a long, dreadful crack instantly split it down the middle; Skipper lunged for the sphere but it was too late — the two red-and-white halves were knocked from her hand, glowing red as they spiraled through the air. The red light extended from the Poke Ball halves in a line connecting, presumably, to Paris, for the neon-bright thread disappeared out of sight beyond the mighty Swampert, who stared at it in horror. Then there was a great flash: the red turned abruptly to an eerie bright blue, then faded just as suddenly. The remnants of the Poke Ball exploded into dust an instant before hitting the chlorinated water; they sparkled on the surface almost cheerfully, as if approving of the girl's actions.

A poisonous silence descended on the scene, broken only by the soft lapping of water against concrete and the persistent hum of florescent lights. Skipper stood frozen, dismay still distorting his broad features; even Paris was quiet, the shock having cut off her sobs. Leaf, bobbing up and down gently, was surprised at her own daring. _For a second there I actually thought I might crack under Skipper's pressure! Lucky I kept my head!_

A soft whooshing sound, like someone blowing up a tiny balloon, broke the awful quiet. Glancing up, everyone blinked in surprise to see Paris floating up in the air on another Return-heart, which somehow seemed smaller than the previous ones. Her huge dark eyes, welled up with tears, pleaded silently, helplessly.

"Please, Mommy ..."

But the girl shook her head, cutting off the rest of her final plea. With a wail of anguish, the Lapras whooshed over the pool, flying haphazardly on the heart-shaped hovercraft, which tilted dangerously one way, then the other, ignoring Skipper's protests ... and as the Pokemon burst out through the double doors, Leaf had a strange thought: _The heart ... was it_ shrinking?

A sudden howl made her jump: as the giant Pokemon bounded past, his heavy paws causing the floor to shake slightly, Skipper's open mouth poured out every iota of aching pain in his heart, the wordless, indescribable sorrow of watching his daughter fly off abandoned, disheartened, alone ... The mournful sound echoed against the walls, even after he had rushed through the doors and out of sight. Anni, who had been unnoticed by anyone until this point, carefully scampered him, doing her best to ignore the sounds of the small waves. It didn't seem to occur to either of them that they could never hope to catch up.

"Stupid," Misty muttered venomously; her voice was quiet, subdued, and yet in the tension stretching tautly in the room, it was easily heard. "What a stupid, pointless release. You could've just given her to someone else here, Leaf. She'd be happier."

"She didn't seem to _want_ to go with any of you, did she?" Leaf replied, perhaps more snappishly than she had intended. "Anyway, let her go. If she'd rather be facing the world on her own than choosing another trainer, that's her problem, not mine."

With a great huff she heaved herself out of the pool, dripping wet. In spite of the warm humidity wrapping around her like a shawl, she shivered with cold. _My sandals are ruined,_ she thought dejectedly. _Damn. I was hoping they would last me longer._

"Awwwwwwww!" Team Waterflower cried out, sounding cheesily sympathetic.

"How sad!"

"Too bad!"

"I'm sure not glad!"

"And look! Depressed was her poor dad!"

Violet giggled. "You're smart, Daisy!"

"Stop being happy!" Lily shot at her blue-haired sister, pushing her. "This isn't a happy time, you goose! We have to be all sad and mournful and et cetcetcetcetcetera! That poor Dewgong's just been released!"

"_You're_ the goose!" Violet retorted. "Because that wasn't a Dewgong!"

"Yeah!" Daisy chimed in. "It was a Kyogre, duh!"

Leaf heard somebody muttering softly. Trying to tune out Team Waterflower's bickering, she turned her gaze toward Fire. "What?"

He didn't look at her. "I said, I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to be more like you ... but how can I believe that caring for people and Pokemon is right, when even the model for my new behavior can throw that philosophy aside like yesterday's trash?"

"But Fire, it's better if—"

"What, it's better if you abandon her when she's got nowhere to go? Is that what you honestly believe? Because even before Mount Moon, I — the old me — never would have needlessly thrown a Pokemon away. But I guess it doesn't really matter to you what I think, does it? ... I'll see you around, Leaf." But the look on his face was at odds with that last statement.

"Fire—"

He turned, ignoring her protest, and walked stiffly toward the door. Ocean watched his retreating back for a moment, then turned his disappointed gaze at Leaf.

"He's a weirdo," he said, nodding as if she was agreeing with him on that, "but he's got a point. Seriously, Leaf, even when she wasn't shiny ... although, she was never shiny really, but you know ... HOW COULD YOU?" he exploded suddenly, leaping forward at her and grabbing at the hem of her jeans. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, LEAF? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! A DISGRACE! A SCANDAL! A HOLY MACKEREL SCANDAL, I THINK! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR COMMON JUDGMENT, OR HAS IT GONE OFF TO THAT BIG POKEMON COLLECTION IN THE SKY?"

"SHUT UP!" Misty hollered at him, turning beet purple in annoyance. "Daisy, Lily, Violet, do something useful for once in your miserable pom-pom-filled lives and get him out before he gets an aneurism!"

"But I like all this drama!" Lily pouted, her lower lip protruding slightly.

"We might as well," Violet sighed, "or the poor thing could hurt himself. Come on, let's get him."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the spiky-haired boy howled as the three girls dragged him away; Daisy actually had to hug his head to her chest, and pulled him so hard that Leaf wondered if his neck would break. "I DEMAND JUSTICE! WHERE IS JUSTICE WHEN YOU NEED IT? YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS ABOMINABLE ABOMINATION, LEAF, I SWEAR BY EVERYTHING IN AND UNDER AND OVER THE EARTH AND SKY AND OTHER STUFF! YOU'LL GET WHAT'S COMING TO YOU SOMEDAY! Ooh, boobies. YOU CAN'T GO UNPUNISHED FOR THIS, SERIOUSLY, I WILL COME AT YOU ONE DAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH MY AWESOME URSARING AND EVIL BLISSEY AND OTHER GUYS! I DON'T CARE IF I DON'T HAVE THEM RIGHT NOW, I WILL ONE DAY, AND ONE DAY YOU'LL REPENT OF YOUR MISERABLE CRIME OR ELSE—"

"I'll need to follow them," Misty muttered, looking thoroughly disgusted at the idea. "Don't want any crowds forming on account of the Amazing Shouting Spikehead ... When I come back," she said more loudly, turning a cold gaze on Leaf, "I'll be hoping that a _certain_ brunette will have left this gym for good! Because if I see that certain brunette's face here again, then she'll get a good idea of what happens when you piss me off by abusing water-types on my own turf! You see where I'm going, Leaf?"

"What is _with_ you people?" Leaf began heatedly, and made a face when Misty rolled her eyes and walked away without another word. "Don't you get it? This was the only way that made _sense_! She was like a ... a cancer, or something! Getting rid of her was the only way to make sure me and my team didn't curl up and die—"

"Well," Lightning suggested, rubbing the back of his blond head awkwardly, "I'm _guessing_ it had something to do with you abandoning her. I mean, it _was_ out of nowhere, and she really, really liked you ... maybe, if you wanted to do it so badly, you might have broken it gently to her? And even given her to someone, I dunno. It was all just kind of heartless, I think."

"Darn straight," Roark snapped.

The two kids jumped; they had, after Skipper's release, completely forgotten he was there. A mere human, after all, is hardly interesting after a gigantic mudfish has threatened somebody with his sheer power. Or something along those lines, anyway.

"Isn't there enough pain without us adding to it?" he asked quietly. One of his gloved hands held a strangely carved stone necklace similar to Anni's, and he was looking at it rather philosophically; the other was clenched so hard into a fist that it shook with his restrained rage. "Why can't anyone learn from history's stupid mistakes? It's like no matter how many times we hear about cruelty and heartbreak—" He tore his unfocused gaze from the necklace and fixed Leaf with a death glare. "—We just keep on adding to it, over and over again ..."

"Yeah," Leaf said, in that floating tone which one uses when they aren't listening at all. "Well. Okay. Cheer up Skipper, won't you? He looks awfully down right now. Take him for a walk, that should get the depression out of his system ... maybe skip off into the sunset afterward, that'll probably work, too—"

He took an extremely deep breath; his chest swelled in compliance and Leaf, recognizing the symptoms of somebody about to launch into a furious tirade, hastily racked her brains for something to say to cut him off.

"Well, why should _you_ protest?" she said waspishly. "It doesn't exactly affect you, am I right? Oh, you can angst about it all you want, but just because something's quote-on-quote 'moral' doesn't automatically make it the right thing to do!"

"Yes, it does! Does the word 'conscience' mean _anything_ to you?"

"I could ask you the same thing, if that's the way you wanna be. It's rich that this lecturing and everything is coming from the guy who practically chucked her dad overboard when he was on a mothertrucking boat!"

There it was: the one thing she could have said to send his darkening mood careening over the spectrum to settle maliciously into black again. More cutting ways _existed_, of course, but this was the only one she was really aware of.

"Yeah," he muttered sullenly, squaring his shoulders against some internal pain. "Yeah, I did, for the same essential reason you abandoned that poor Lapras. But that was a sudden, spur-of-the-moment thing that I _never_ would've done if I'd been thinking clearly. You can't know how much I regretted it afterward ... all the hours I spent looking over the rail, hoping I'd see his shape growing on the horizon ... Anni wouldn't speak to me for three whole days. And you know what? She was right not to. What could she have said that I hadn't already told myself? It was one of those things you can't go back and fix, and that _gnawed_ at me. But at least I realized, even though it was painful, that what a Pokemon looks like doesn't change who they are! At least I still had enough love for him to stop myself from breaking his Ball!"

_"You know, you four-eyed geek,"_ interrupted the Pokedex (sitting serenely in the fallen yellow handbag, as usual), _"I was actually taking you seriously until you said 'breaking his Ball'."_

"Shut up, Pokedex. But dude, these are _completely_ different Pokemon we're talking about here. You've got a strong bond with Skipper — well, naturally, 'cause he's your starter. If you get to really _know_ him over the years, you can't really just send him away without feeling down, right? But Paris was just a devious little minx without a—"

"_She's just a kid!_"

Leaf gave him a despairing look. "You just don't get it, do you? I'm going to leave now, because you're just annoying me. I am _so_ over you. And by the way, when I said you had girl hair, I meant it, so there!"

"... What?"

But she had already spun around on her heel, snatched her handbag off the floor, and marched toward the exit in a rather superior way. _People these days,_ she thought to herself bitterly. _They just can't understand the little workings of these things, can they..._

Had she been less preoccupied with herself, she might have noticed the strange tanned woman still sitting silently in the stands, closely watching the girl's haughty movements. As she gripped the edge of her seat, her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, glinting — for the briefest of moments — with an almost metallic sheen.

On a less mysterious note, Lightning seemed torn between trotting after Leaf's retreating back, and sticking around with an utterly confused and frustrated Roark to shake his head in utter disbelief at the girl's behavior. After a few moments of looking back and forth between them, he finally compromised by falling backward into the pool. Needless to say, Peach was less than amused.

* * *

Cobalt watched her go.

He was fairly confident that nobody could see him — only his head stuck out from behind the giant, statuesque Dewgong — and so felt assured that he could focus completely on the girl's retreating back without having the awkward premonition that some six-year-old waddling through the surrounding park would point up at him and exclaim, "Look, Mommy! Santa Claus uses Dewgong now!" Of course, it also helped that her spike-headed friend had been dragged out those same doors by the three _sexy_ Waterflowers only a few minutes earlier, hollering at the top of his lungs about betrayal and justice and psychotic Minzuba, whatever the hell that was, and thusly distracted the attention of the nearby civilians from his general hiding place. But still, he liked to chalk up another one for his rad spy skills.

Remembering what had flown out the door even before the spike-headed maniac, he tried and failed for the twentieth time to wrap his mind around what was going on. _The_ _Lapras is NOT shiny,_ he kept telling himself, as if pounding the fact into his mind with the hammer of repetition would lodge it there permanently. _The Lapras is not SHINY. The LAPRAS is not shiny. THE Lapras is not shiny_.

His thin lips pressed into a frustrated line. Of all the ways that his mission could have been thwarted — Gina's comparative incompetence, Severus's and Mew's attempts to kill him, the unlikely possibility that the girl might _defeat_ him — this was at the bottom of the list. Actually, "a vampire pterodactyl swooping down and chomping the Lapras to bits" was at the bottom of the list, but he was pretty sure he could discount that one.

"Weird Hair Guy?" Phlash slithered down from the top of the striped dome, claws clicking against the roof.

"Eh?"

"Why are we on top of a magic tuba that doesn't work?"

He didn't bother to reply.

"The Lapras was blue," Phlash commented unnecessarily, climbing on top of his bewigged head (today a white, spiky thing which further helped him camouflage behind the Dewgong).

"I kn—"

"DA-ba-DEE-da-ba-DIE, da-BA-DEE, DA-ba-DIE, DA-ba-DEE-da-ba-DIE, da-BA-DEE, DA-ba-DIE, DA-ba-DEE-da-ba-DIE, da-BA-DEE, DA-ba-DIE, da-BA-DEE, DA-ba-DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE..."

Several poetic allusions could be made to describe the quality and volume of Phlash's voice, but there was no need for any: across the street, several apartment windows and car windshields shattered in protest. A dog somewhere howled in pain.

"You're not taking this seriously, are you."

"YO LISTEN UP, here's a story about a lil' girl that lives in a blue world, and all day, and all night, and everything she sees is just BLUE, like her inside and outside, blue her house, wit' a blue lil' WINDOW—"

"You have issues," commented a passing Starly.

"She does, doesn't she?"

"I was talking about you."

"—and a blue Corvette, and everything is blue for HER, and HERSELF, and everybody around, 'cause she ain't GOT! Nobody. To LISTEN, to LISTEN, to LISTEN, to LISTEN, I'm BLUE—"

"Thanks so much." Cobalt put his face in his hands. "Ho boy, what am I ... what the _hell_ am I gonna tell the Boss?" He peeked through his fingers at the panorama of the glimmering city before him, looking melancholy. "We're not gonna _find_ the runt anytime this decade ... the scale'll only produce another normal Lapras with some weird oddity, undoubtedly."

"—DA-ba-DEE-da-ba-DIE, da-BA-DEE, DA-ba-DIE—"

"And it won't fly with him that the Lapras _just isn't shiny_ anymore. He expects more of me, dammit. The only thing I've got going for me is that Severus is safely behind bars, the freak. And the Moon Stone bits, obviously. And the one I stole from PMS. And breaking a city and a mountain, maybe indirectly, I don't know—"

"You just proved my point," said the passing Starly who was suddenly no longer passing, as she had just landed on the Dewgong's finned tail.

"—I have a BLUE house and a blue win_doawwwww_, blue is the color, of all that I WEAAAAHHHH—"

"Kindly shut up," Cobalt sighed. Through his fingers he idly watched the girl's short blond friend dart out of the gym, glance around wildly, catch sight of her just before she had turned out of sight, and follow her at a gamboling run. The ugly little rat was still sitting on his head.

"You're strange," the Starly commented. She tilted her head to the side as she looked at him; as her head was roughly half the size of her body, she nearly toppled from her perch, and hastily fluttered back upright with a surprised chirp. "Did you know that's a very nice wig?"

He blinked. "How'd you know? It's very realistic, I made sure of—"

"It's that Phrygoil on your head," the Starly explained, pointing her orange-and-black beak at said Phrygoil. "With all her scrabbling around, it's almost fallen off. The wig, I mean, not your head."

"DAMN IT!"

With incredible speed the admin reached up and adjusted it back into place before his hair's proper color and style could be described; the movement unseated Phlash, who landed on his shoe with her claws extended.

"OUCH!"

"Sorry!" Phlash squealed, while Starly chuckled at the weasel's psychotic grin. "Can I go and eat somebody's foot now, Weird Hair Guy? I haven't eaten in ten whole minutes! How about yours, it's got tough skin on it, I can't puncture it even the littlest bit, it'll be fun to gnaw on!"

"Phlash," Cobalt said sternly, still breathing hard from his extremely abrupt movement, "feet are _not_ something you can eat."

"But what if I _wanna_ eat them?"

"You can _want_ the moon to be made of green cheese, too, but that's sure as hell not happening, is it?"

"Er ..."

Cobalt raised an eyebrow at the Starly. "Yes?"

She shuffled her feet a bit awkwardly. "Um, I'd like it if ... boy, that was a bit abrupt, wasn't it? But ... er ... you know, since people without exciting lives don't usually sneak around on gym rooftops ... and it'd be cool traveling across the land, you know ... can I ... er—"

"Join me?" Cobalt finished the stuttered question for her.

"Yes!" She exhaled in relief, gazing at him hopefully.

"I've already caught one of you a long time ago," the young man snapped coldly, resting his chin on his knees. He really didn't have time to think about things that didn't pertain to his mission. Perhaps — he tapped his chin diabolically as his mind spun into action — if he suggested to the Rocket scientists that only the indigo-inducing chromosome, if it _was_ a chromosome, was included while they—

"But I insist!" the bird pouted, flapping her wings frantically. "I really, really do! Because I—"

"No," the admin said flatly.

Starly sighed. "Mm. So you'll be stubborn about it, I see."

"Indeed," Cobalt agreed, turning away. "Phlash, get off my shoe _right now_ or I'll—"

"Llllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiii—"

Cobalt and the psychotic Phrygoil nearly fell off the roof in surprise; the sheer shrillness of Starly's unending call, coupled with the roll of her _L_, was positively brain-breaking. Grabbing at Dewgong's flipper to save himself, the young man grit his teeth in agony. The noise seemed to drill through his skull like some sort of malevolent mutant migraine.

"—iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii—"

He didn't have to look: it seemed obvious that everyone within earshot — a range probably extending to the Pewter ruins — was undoubtedly staring curiously in his direction. His face flushed with exertion and extreme embarrassment.

"—iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii—"

"FINE, I'LL CATCH YOU, JUST SHUT UP, DAMMIT!"

"Yay!" said the Starly cheerfully, who for some mysterious reason wasn't out of breath at all.

Cringing slightly, he pulled himself up to his original position again. "What," he demanded, rubbing his temples, "_what_ in the name of bloody hell did you just do?"

"I dunno!" The Starly sighed again. "Nobody else in my flock could do it. And it was annoying them a tad, so one day they ... er ... they left me behind." She hung her relatively enormous head. "I've been alone for _ages_."

"Why'd you fall, Weird Hair Guy?" Phlash asked, cocking her head to the side curiously at him as she sat on his knees.

He gave her The Look. "You _just heard_ why, Phlash. Geez."

"Yeah, but a little noise shouldn't make you fall out of the sky," the Phrygoil said. "That'd be like saying a little patch of green on a burger could kill you. Don't be silly like that."

Cobalt blinked. He ran the recent conversation through his head again, focused on the necessary portions, and saved a lot of further headache by deducing what had just happened. "It _wasn't_ a loud noise," he thought aloud, scratching at his hand.

"Exactly."

"But _I_ thought it was loud."

"Did you?" the Starly asked. "That's odd. My flock just kept complaining that I was buzzing."

"... You're serious."

"Yes. I don't remember it bothering anybody else ... except, I think ... we were flying over this mountain one time and this medititing Meditate — I mean, meditating Meditite — he was throwing rocks at me and told me to 'stop that gosh durn noise, y'hear, 'ts allergy season 'n' I don' recken I wanna go in wif a migraine'."

"Really."

"Yeah." Her feathers rustled softly as she ducked her head down to clean a brown-black wing, looking embarrassed. "The flock ditched me pretty quick after that. I've been all alone ever since." She gave him a wide-eyed gaze which was probably meant to look cute.

_You know,_ Cobalt mused to himself as he looked back at her bright white face, almost shining against the darkness of her body, _she really, really looks like a cat when she does that._

"But I guess I won't be alone anymore!" the bird chirped, looking significantly happier at the idea.

"Yeah," Cobalt agreed, nodding vaguely. "Sure. There're some things you need to know, though, if you really want to join my team. We're in Team Rocket, for one thing. If you haven't heard of us, you need to get out more. And we steal stuff. And sometimes we do death-defying spy stuff. And. Um. That's probably it."

The Starly nodded, a jerky, bobbing movement.

"Right, Starly, so if you're okay with—"

"Rae."

"You have a name, then. Sort of like how Phlash told me she did, too, when she tortured me into catching her."

The bird nodded. "You had to persuade him too, huh?" she asked her soon-to-be teammate, in a rather long-suffering way.

Phlash beamed, exposing needle-sharp teeth that glinted happily. "Yeah. But he was really good about it once he stopped twitching."

"Really? What did you _do_ to him?"

"Barney."

Rae gasped in a scandalized yet eager way. "_No_."

"Yeah. You shoulda heard him scream!"

"Ooh, was it a fat-opera-woman scream?"

"'Kay, girls, I draw the line when it comes to me screaming," Cobalt interrupted decisively. Plucking a Poke Ball off his belt, he twirled it idly in his long, thin fingers. "I've got my pride to think of, you know."

Rae rolled her big eyes good-naturedly. "Got the enormous male ego to protect, you mean."

"Yeah, that's r— ... Hey!"

"Liiii!" the Starly laughed, a sweet, piping sound which bore no resemblance whatsoever to the banshee screech she had unleashed minutes before. Spreading her small wings, she leapt into the air, twirled around for a second or two, and fluttered down, gently tapping the button on the Poke Ball's front; the red-and-white sphere split for a brief moment to absorb the dematerializing Pokemon.

_PING!_

"I love that ping," Phlash commented dreamily. "Ping ping ping ping."

Sticking the ball back onto his belt, Cobalt turned his gaze to the glittering waters beyond the straw-yellow grass of the park, in a rather better mood than he had been in to begin with. Maybe the Boss would be in a more forgiving state of mind when he got in contact with him again. And even on the off-chance that he wasn't, how important could a single Pokemon really be, when you got right down to it?

_He'll have to promote me,_ he assured himself, letting his tensed muscles relax. _He can't_ not _promote me. I've proved myself over and over again that I'm as good an asset as any to his Team. Better, actually. If he doesn't respect that, what_ can _he respect? I'm the—_

He froze.

There, gliding over the strip of tan beach stretching endlessly to the left and right, was the creature. Its almost invisible form rippled as it moved smoothly, gracefully, yet with a speed that couldn't be fully appreciated at this distance. He blinked, and for a moment he slipped into a curious uncertainty — how had he even known it was there at all? It was so far away ... But the excitement of spotting it again quickly resurfaced, pushing his doubts into the uncharted depths of forgotten memory.

_It._

He'd scrambled clumsily to the top of the obnoxious-looking dome before he realized that he was moving at all.

"Weird Hair Guy?" Phlash asked, still clinging to his hapless shoe.

"Eh?"

"You're weird."

He shrugged, then leapt off the roof in a manner reminiscent of a superhero. The wind ruffled his wig as it whistled shrilly in his ears, and that would have been the last sound he ever heard if he hadn't been aiming for that nearby tree.

_Crack!_ went several small branches as he tore through them before finally grabbing hold of a sturdier limb. Almost instantly he let go; he would catch up to _it_ if it was the last thing he did, and a mere detail like falling out of a tree wouldn't deter him in the slightest from his goal.

The Hunt was on.

* * *

_Damn stupid noobs._

Misty scowled for what seemed like the millionth time that day as she flung the door open, tramping into the waiting area after flinging the door open. Wennett, standing serenely behind the counter as he organized the shelves of souvenir shirts, jumped as the heavy door banged into the wall, hitting into the dent that was already in it. He'd noticed the dent had been getting a lot deeper lately.

"This is ridiculous, Wennett!" Misty complained hotly, gesturing in an annoyed manner as if she were addressing the entire room. "The stupidity of these morons is just mind-boggling! What is so hard about having ordinary common sense? I mean, do people even give a damn if their IQ goes spiraling down the drain?"

"Er ... it's a possibility, miss," Wennett answered carefully.

Misty, not listening to him, stormed over behind the counter as well and shook of the mouse of the ancient computer sitting atop it; the machine blinked back to life with a rather tired whirring. The blond referee, somewhat terrified of the gym leader's explosive temper, hastily put away the rest of the shirts in his arms and excused himself, pushing aside the door-flap into the gym as he went, presumably, to mop of the mess of Joyfeel's brilliant blood.

The girl hadn't even reached the website when he stuck his head through the doors again.

"Roark's still in there, miss," he told her in his usual sycophantic way. "Would you like me to—?"

"Let him stay." Misty didn't even take her eyes off the screen.

"Yes, miss." He nodded and withdrew into the gym again.

Misty sighed. She knew perfectly well she had another battle scheduled to take place in only about two hours, but she couldn't toss Roark out, quitter or not. Especially in wake of what had just happened. She thought of how it would sound: _Oh dear, looks like your Pokemon just had his treasured daughter heartlessly abandoned, how terrible, but you should really get out or I'll send you blasting off._ Hahaha, NO. That was the sort of thing Leaf would do. Her fingers paused on the keyboard as the girl's name popped into her mind again. _And she calls herself a trainer. What I wouldn't give to take her Cascade Badge and confiscate it!_ she snarled to herself. That'd _teach her something, damn right it would!_

Sadly, it couldn't be done. League rules explicitly stated that gym badges, given directly from the authorized leader, immediately became the legal property of the recipient. She couldn't take the badge back any more than she could set fire to her own gym.

_What a pity._

Sourness still staining her mindset, she began to type.

*** Sarcasm_Flower has joined #leag**

**karatekid:** hello

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Hey

**karatekid:** have a good day

**Sarcasm_Flower:** ...

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Hell no.

**karatekid:** oh sorry :(

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Stupid noobs again

**karatekid:** but im sort of a noob :(

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Yeah

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Maylene, right?

**karatekid:** yes this chat thing is weird

**Sarcasm_Flower:** That was random, but okay.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** It's better than televised conferences

**Sarcasm_Flower:** More up-to-date too.

**karatekid:** so you talk about stuff thats happening

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Pretty much

**karatekid:** yeah but ive been on for 7 hrs n no ones come

**karatekid:** i beat a gible today :)

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Good for you.

*** Waves has joined #leag**

**karatekid:** it was a realy big gibel

**karatekid:** i mean gible

**karatekid:** it was like whoa!

**Waves:** Like sup, guys?

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Hey Brawl

**Waves:** That's BRAWLY to you

**Waves:** That's, like, how it is.

**karatekid:** it came up and tryed to BITE MY LUCARIL

**karatekid:** I MEAN LUCARIO

**karatekid:** sorry caps

*** Godbrother has joined #leag**

**Waves:** Like, did you try punching it Maylene?

**Waves:** You're a fighter expert, so

**karatekid:** but y would i punch it caz lucario was fightin it

*** Alexander has joined #leag**

**Waves:** -_-

**Sarcasm_Flower:** He meant that you tell Lucario to punch it

**Godbrother:** Yeah. FOR THE POWER!

**karatekid:** um

**karatekid:** what

**Waves:** A punching move, dude

**Waves:** So you can, like, hang ten in battle.

**karatekid:** what

**Alexander:** It's not like it even matters.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Gible don't live in the water, Brawl :/

**Alexander:** Why does anyone even give a crap?

**Waves:** That's BRAWLY to you

**Waves:** ...

**Sarcasm_Flower:** ...

**Sarcasm_Flower:** LMAO

**Waves:** That was NOT groovy

**Godbrother:** XD

**Godbrother:** Nice.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Brawl is crap hahaha

**Waves:** Brawly to you

**Waves:** And I'M NOT CRAP

**Godbrother:** XD

**karatekid:** wait what

**Alexander:** This is SERIOUS business. Not this LOLOLOLOL junk.

**Godbrother:** LOL Brawly

**Waves:** Rhis is SRS BZNSS

**Waves:** This

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Spelling fail.

**Godbrother:** dammit I busted a gut XDDDD

*** Circleoflife has joined #leag**

**Alexander:** It wasn't even funny. Can't you take anything seriously?

**Waves:** No.

**Circleoflife:** HOLY SMOKES ITS COMAERGMIOPAERMGOIVABNMIO[ABMNIO[REMBMBK;AW

**Sarcasm_Flower:** ?

**karatekid:** wait what

**Godbrother:** ...

**Waves:** o_o

**Godbrother:** Blaine, you okay?

**Circleoflife:** OH JUST A BIRD

**Circleoflife:** I THOUGHT IT WAS COMING BACK

**Alexander:** Turn off the caps.

**Circleoflife:** sorry.

**Godbrother:** You're alive :]

**karatekid:** doesnt everyone wanna hear abot the gible

**Circleoflife:** but I've been keeping that chaotic from killing everyone on the island.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** :O

**Waves:** Run fer yer lives dudes!

**karatekid:** does that count as stuf thats happenin

*** EspeMetagross has joined #leag**

**Sarcasm_Flower:** No duh.

*** Salem has joined #leag**

*** lefthandofdarkness has joined #leag**

*** righthandoflight has joined #leag**

*** Mind_Over_Matter has joined #leag**

**Waves:** o.o

*** Not_So_Serious has joined #leag**

**Alexander:** ...

*** PrismaticMoon has joined #leag**

*** LiveonaPrayer has joined #leag**

**Waves:** wtf?

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Trust all the psychics to log on at once -_-

**Godbrother:** XDDD

**lefthandofdarkness:** We sensed that something

**righthandoflight:** big was going down

**lefthandofdarkness:** so we turned up to help

**righthandoflight:** and try to turn it around

**Godbrother:** o0

**lefthandofdarkness:** dark times are ahead

**righthandoflight:** and things are gonna get rough

**Alexander:** This is stupid.

**lefthandofdarkness:** but you can count on us

righthandofdarkness: cause we know our stuff!

**Liveonaprayer:** ^ What they said.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** ?

**Mind_Over_Matter:** This had better be good

**Mind_Over_Matter:** I had to stop BEFORE the cliffhanger.

**Salem:** The butler did it.

**Mind_Over_Matter:** What?

**Salem:** It's principle that the working class always has the opportunity to dirty their hands more than aristocracy.

**Salem:** QED

**karatekid:** but wat about the glible

**EspeMetagross:** We should all just try to relax.

**EspeMetagross:** Breathe in ...

**Mind_Over_Matter:** It wasn't a mystery

**Mind_Over_Matter:** It was a

**Mind_Over_Matter:** er

**EspeMetagross:** Breathe out.

**Mind_Over_Matter:** a thriller

**karatekid:** gibles r scary i think

**Mind_Over_Matter:** with a romantic subplot

**Mind_Over_Matter:** very erotic really

**Sarcasm_Flower:** It was Twilight, wasn't it.

**Waves:** Wha?

**Godbrother:** XDDD

**Mind_Over_Matter:** NO IT WASN'T

**Mind_Over_Matter:** IT WAS STEPHEN KING'S LATEST ONE

**Mind_Over_Matter:** SOMETHING ABOUT DEAD BUNNIES

**Godbrother:** THAT SPARKLE AMIRITE?

**Alexander:** TURN OFF THE CAPS DAMMIT

**Salem:** Romantic SUBPLOT?

**Godbrother:** XDDD

**karatekid:** it bit my lucaril

**Not_So_Serious:** Edward's hawt.

**Not_So_Serious:** I mean

**Waves:** o_0

**Not_So_Serious:** THAT'S WHAT MY SISTER SAYS

**Sarcasm_Flower:** ...

**Sarcasm_Flower:** YOU spelled it that way.

**Godbrother:** XDDD

**Not_So_Serious:** But I wouldn't know since

**Not_So_Serious:** I haven't read it anyway, so.

**Circleoflife:** Is anyone listening?

**Salem:** You've been sneaking it off her desk at night

**Salem:** I know these things.

**Circleoflife:** The chaotic ...

**karatekid:** but lucariou kickd it i think

**EspeMetagross:** We are currently in the lotus position.

**righthandoflight:** Yes we are.

**lefthandofdarkness:** Yes we are.

**Waves:** Will, you are, like, psycho.

**Not_So_Serious:** Thank you ^_^

**Not_So_Serious:** But I still didn't read it

**Not_So_Serious:** AND EDWARD'S NOT HAWT

**Not_So_Serious:** :O

**Sarcasm_Flower:** It's worth going through all the league qualifications just to watch all this.

**PrismaticMoon:** Amen.

**Salem:** I agree with you Will

**Salem:** even though you're lying to save face

**karatekid:** then gilbe lost a tooth lol!

**Salem:** but that bloodsucker doesn't have two testosterone cells to bang together.

**Not_So_Serious:** I'M NOT LYING

**Not_So_Serious:** AND I ALREADY HAVE A FACE

**Not_So_Serious:** SO CUT IT OUT K?

**Alexander:** Caps are the tool of the invalid.

**Circleoflife:** Hello?

**Circleoflife:** The chaotic

**Salem:** Everyone KNOWS you're lying.

**Mind_Over_Matter:** _

**Waves:** Oh yeah, sup Blaine.

**PrismaticMoon:** I'll get their attention.

**Circleoflife:** THANK YOU

**Not_So_Serious:** I'M NOT LYING

**Not_So_Serious:** I SAID IT BEFORE

**Not_So_Serious:** AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN IF I HAVE TO

**EspeMetagross:** Remember to keep your back straight

**lefthandofdarkness:** It is.

**righthandoflight:** It is.

**Salem:** Will's back is the only straight bit about him.

**Not_So_Serious:** IS NOT

**Not_So_Serious:** YOU'RE BEING VERY PREJUDICED ANYWAY

**PrismaticMoon:** THE CURSE OF DEAD SOULS ON THE NEXT PERSON WHO TOUCHES A KEYBOARD WHO IS NOT BLAINE AND REMEMBER, I CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN.

**Circleoflife:** Thank you Morty.

**PrismaticMoon:** No prob ^_^

**Circleoflife:** Listen everyone, remember that glitch living here on Cinnabar who eats people who get too close to it?

**karatekid:** wats a glitch

**Sarcasm_Flower:** A chaotic

**Godbrother:** A creature formed from the irregularities of the universe who enjoys spreading disorder and confusion.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** My definition was better :/

**karatekid:** sounds like a gilble

**Circleoflife:** Yes, and it's Missingno, a very strong one.

**Circleoflife:** Until now, it hasn't bothered us much as long as we don't disturb it.

**Waves:** But it, like, spun you a rogue current and started attacking people.

**Circleoflife:** How did you know?

**Godbrother:** You said it before.

**Circleoflife:** Ah.

**Circleoflife:** Well the fact is I can't overpower it.

**Circleoflife:** It's too overpowering

**Godbrother:** Need backup then?

**Circleoflife:** That would be crucial to our survival, yes.

**Godbrother:** Why didn't you say so before?

**Godbrother:** I'll head in and check it out.

**Circleoflife:** Thank you!

**Circleoflife:** Can you fly in immediately?

**Circleoflife:** Only it'd be a good idea if you didn't land directly on the island.

**Circleoflife:** It seems to be bending reality so it might be better if you had control over how you reached the island.

**Mind_Over_Matter:** Why haven't we seen this on the news?

**Salem:** The aforementioned reality-bending, probably.

**Circleoflife:** Exactly. News helicopters keep turning to jelly.

**Circleoflife:** I think it's jelly, anyway.

**Circleoflife:** Might be Slowpoke brain

**Mind_Over_Matter:** Okay. I might be able to come, I've got a free weekend.

**Salem:** Once you've finished Twilight, at least.

**Mind_Over_Matter:** -_-

**Godbrother:** No, I should be all right alone

**Godbrother:** I'm not champion for nothing!

**Circleoflife:** But it's very strong, Warren

**Godbrother:** So am I :p

**Sarcasm_Flower:** *coughegocough*

**PrismaticMoon:** Let's all pray for Warren that he survives, everyone.

**Salem:** I don't pray, there is no god.

**PrismaticMoon:** Always the realist :/

**EspeMetagross:** Return to your original position.

**EspeMetagross:** Oh, another challenger. Adieu.

*** EspeMetagross has quit #leag**

**lefthandofdarkness:** We must go now

**righthandoflight:** for we have seen all there

**lefthandofdarkness:** is to see for today

**righthandoflight:** and the spiritual forces from

**lefthandofdarkness:** beyond call us for sessions

**righthandoflight:** to better ourselves and become

**lefthandofdarkness:** one with the universe

**righthandoflight:** and each other.

**lefthandofdarkness:** Not to mention that

**righthandoflight:** it would be prudent of us

**lefthandofdarkness:** to determine whether the

**righthandoflight:** chaotics of Hoenn have also

**lefthandofdarkness:** decided to wreak havoc on

**righthandoflight:** the helpless mass of humanity.

**lefthandofdarkness:** After dinner of course.

**righthandoflight:** Mom's making meatballs, you see.

*** lefthandofdarkness has quit #leag**

*** righthandoflight has quit #leag**

**Not_So_Serious:** They scare me.

**Salem:** Everything scares you.

**Salem:** Especially your reflection.

**Not_So_Serious:** Stop picking on me :/

**Godbrother:** I should get ready to fly over there

**Salem:** Picking on you is too easy to stop.

**Godbrother:** get a snack or something

**Circleoflife:** You sure you should come alone?

**Not_So_Serious:** You're mean :(

**Godbrother:** Sure I'm sure, I'm champion.

**Godbrother:** Hold them off til I get there, kay?

**Circleoflife:** Will do.

**Godbrother:** OK, be there in a few.

**Godbrother:** Catch you later guys.

*** Godbrother has quit #leag**

*** Circleoflife has quit #leag**

**Salem:** That's the first smart thing you've said, Will.

**Not_So_Serious:** :/

**karatekid:** so no one wants to hear abut the gible

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Exactly.

**karatekid:** oh okay :(

*** karatekid has quit #leag**

**Mind_Over_Matter:** Got a book to read~

**Salem:** Just don't hyperventilate over Eddy's sparkling, kay?

**Mind_Over_Matter:** -_-

*** Mind_Over_Matter has quit #leag**

**Not_So_Serious:** I thought that was my job :/

**Salem:** So you admit it.

**Not_So_Serious:** Admit what?

**Not_So_Serious:** oh

**Not_So_Serious:** I DIDN'T MEAN IT

**Liveonaprayer:** :D

**Liveonaprayer:** That goes PERFECTLY

**Liveonaprayer:** with the song I'm writing I mean

**Liveonaprayer:** Gonna add it in, catchya later

*** Liveonaprayer has quit #leag**

**Salem:** Didn't mean to blurt it out, you mean?

**Not_So_Serious:** Don't know what you're talking about.

**Salem:** Of course not, you're dreaming about dear old Eddy.

**Not_So_Serious:** I don't have to put up with this

**Not_So_Serious:** I have better things to do :/

*** Not_So_Serious has quit #leag**

**Salem:** Sure he does.

**Waves:** Like, people are dropping like flies!

**Sarcasm_Flower:** At least we're all sane here

**Alexander:** I beg to differ.

**Alexander:** Saneness applies to none of you.

**PrismaticMoon:** C'mon Volkner.

**PrismaticMoon:** Have a sense of humor

**Alexander:** I will once Maylene has a sense of grammar.

**Waves:** OWNED

**Waves:** I think.

A movement drew Misty's eyes from the eventful screen. Blinking to clear them of the artificial glow, she stared curiously at the tall, lean figure that had just risen out of one of the stuffed chairs. _Has she been here this entire time?_ she wondered. _I'm pretty sure no one's come in since I logged on._

The strange woman pulled open the door and let herself out into the heat and sun. Shrugging, Misty returned her attention to the PC. _People come in here all the time,_ she assured herself. She decided not to look into the matter further — Leaguechat had a way of stamping down on her temper — but still, as her fingers roved across the keyboard again, she had to wonder. _What sort of person could sit still as a statue for ten solid minutes?_

* * *

The woman knew, of course. The woman always knew. Sometimes she wished she didn't, but that couldn't be helped.

In the fresh air — "fresh" in context being equivalent to "not reeking with chlorine" — she glanced around in a furtive manner, searching for traces of the girl's aura. _There!_ she thought triumphantly, catching at last the curling glow that shimmered in the air, lighting up her footprints like an off-color, off-taste Christmas decoration.

Hers wasn't the sole aura in the area, but that was only to be expected: the woman could sense the unseen light of a billion people, passing over this spot over the millennia ... the remnants of a billion selves, tinged with their own unique flavors of passion and fear. But to a master of aura, the ability to pick out the residue of a single person was as simple as finding a crack on the cement she stood on. The overwhelming ethereal glutting of senses was nothing new. It had plagued her for her whole lifetime — meaning, of course, that she didn't see it as any sort of plague at all. A person blind at birth will never miss color.

A self-satisfied smirk crossed the woman's face as she followed the all-too-obvious path the girl had left behind. Arrogance, self-righteousness, a cold relief ... things that would make her vulnerable to attack, all leading treacherously to their origin. The cruel grin widened as she remembered watching the gym leader's aura, as it flared and subsided almost rhythmically as the redhead leaned over the keyboard. The patterns in the aura, the emotions and worries, wove together like countless threads to create a tapestry of the Leagues' plan, as easy to read as the unseen screen. And what she had read had been the best of news: everything was moving according to plan.

The humans were getting involved.

* * *

"Ketsuban ... Ketsuban, wake up ..."

The Missing One, floating aimlessly in a strange darkness, caught the voice dimly wafting toward him as if from another time. He decided not to listen to it. He was too comfortable, far away from the verges of consciousness, detached from everything ...

"Ketsuban ..."

Of course, realizing this fact immediately made it untrue.

"Dammit," he muttered.

"Ketsuban! You're awake! Never give me a scare like that again, if you please; blacking out inside your mind usually means death! Your soul doesn't come with built-in shock absorbent material, you know. But you're all right, Ketsuban, thank heavens!"

"Don't swear," he snapped automatically. Suddenly he was acutely aware that he was lying on the tunnel floor in a very awkward position, and he scowled as awareness flooded over him. Why couldn't he have just sunken into oblivion? It was so much nicer there ...

"But Ketsuban, I didn't swear!" the other protested.

"You did, you said heav— ... oh, never mind." He reactivated his vision, an action which is better known as "opening his eyes", although the phrase cannot be used here for obvious reasons. "Who are you, anyway? And what in the name of all that's unholy are you doing here? I was under the firm impression that only the—"

But he finally realized what he was seeing, and the words died in his mouth. Standing over him, looming tall enough to graze the stony ceiling with its head, stood a skeletal creature, bones bleach-white from its ridged skull to its knife-sharp tail. The enormous scythes on its arms hung almost harmlessly by its ribbed sides, and its skull-head was tilted to the side, eye sockets fixed on the Missing One in curiosity.

The chaotic stared in amazement. _It looks just like me._

Yet even as he returned the other's inquisitive gaze, the Missing One detected a strange sort of aura radiating from the unknown creature's bony shape. It wasn't something immediately obvious: the dark purple light (if one could call it light) seemed to dance at the edges of the being's form, curling gently off from his bones. If there was such a thing as an anti-glow, then that purple aura would fit the bill nicely.

"You're my Beast," the Missing One stated. He wondered why he wasn't feeling excited, now that he had encountered what he was looking for, or even panicked, as it was standing over him with its lethal scythes easily visible. Why hadn't it stabbed him while he had lain there, as vulnerable as any attacker could hope him to be?

The other nodded. "Yes. And you, Ketsuban, are my soul."

Scowling, the chaotic fixed the Beast with a steely glare. "That sounds like it came straight out of a cheesy romance novel."

"Well, it's true, Ketsuban," said the Beast, sounding rather hurt.

In an instant the Missing One had leapt to his feet, a motion so swift that the Beast jumped in surprise. "What are you playing at?" he hissed, brandishing his formidable scythes. "This fake civility, is it meant to bring my guard down, or what? You're supposed to be screeching horrifically while I attempt to enslave you to follow my every whim!"

He expected some sort of bristling retort, but the Beast merely smiled sadly. "You don't remember me at all, Ketsuban?"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Why? It's your true name, after all! Far better than these nicknames you've reeled in during your reigns of terror! 'The Missing One', indeed. That makes no sense at all. And as for _that_ name's nickname ... well, 'Missingno' isn't even a word! I don't pretend to be a master at language, Ketsuban, but I'm pretty sure you can't find that in any dictionary. It makes even less sense than the first one, if I can be so bold to say that something can make less than no sense."

The Missing One scoffed. "'Missingno' works brilliantly, Beast. It fits perfectly with who and what I am. What, you don't believe me? Then listen to this: there was an age, long before the creation of the world, the souls of the most powerful beings were summoned before Arceus and the Circle of the Divine Twelve, which is just a fancy way of describing her bratty kids. Arceus knew that even she wasn't powerful enough to create actual life on her own — the only time she ever showed real intelligence, if you ask me. So she tested souls to see what they were made of, and if they passed her stupid test, she would elevate them to the moronic status of 'legendary'. Every soul she summoned came ... except one."

"Oh. I think I know who that is, Ketsuban!"

"Yes. Well, I had—"

"Sherlock Holmes!"

Missingno stared at the Beast in utter exasperation. "... Sherlock Holmes."

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it, Ketsuban? He's as close to a legendary as a human can get, you know, so it makes sense that with his—"

"Beast, shut up. Holmes had nothing to do with this."

"But Ketsuban, if it meant powerful—"

"The one who didn't come was _me_. Me, M-E, you get it? Now shut up."

"But Ketsuban—"

"I didn't come," Missingno went on, raising his voice and cutting the Beast off unceremoniously, "because I was one of those misplaced souls who was accidentally swept off into the corner of the universe with the irrational laws. Those laws changed me into what I am now: a creature with the right sort of thirst for power. I knew Arceus hadn't done it on purpose, but what's the point of following the supreme goddess if she can make mistakes? Not to mention that good old Apolydon—" He spat the name out with sudden venom. "—had the right sort of ideas. Why be slaves to the few rational laws, when the irrational ones were more numerous and more powerful? If I could control them, then surely one day I could get my revenge on Arceus! So I never showed up in front of the Circle of the Divine Twelve. I stuck by Apolydon instead, which naturally caused rumors to spread. To this day, the legendaries still whisper about me, the only soul who never showed up: the Missing One."

The Beast nodded rather absentmindedly.

"But they're wrong," Missingno went on, smirking to himself. "I was exactly where I was meant to be. My place was at Apolydon's side, as one of the most powerful chaotics the world has ever seen. Me, missing? No."

He let the echoes of his triumphant words bounce off the sides of the tunnel for a moment before they faded into nothingness. Then he looked back to the Beast, who was still staring at him, and his proud manner seemed to fall flat.

"... You _do_ get it, don't you?"

The Beast nodded again. "Yes, Ketsuban. I get it. But it's a bit ironic, isn't it? You're so proud of being Apolydon's right-hand ma—, I mean, _thing_, that you can get _nicknames_ out of it ... and then he possesses you ... and you _still_ hate him less than you hate Arceus?"

Missingno sighed. "I wouldn't expect somebody like you to get it. But never mind. You _still_ haven't answered my question, dammit! Why aren't you crazed beyond reason like a good little Beast should be?"

"Well ..." The Beast rubbed its ridged head with the back of its scythe, looking as thoughtful as was possible for an evil incarnation of a skeletal being. "It was, Ketsuban, a long, long time ago—"

"Clichéd beginnings aside—"

"Yes, well, besides them. I'm surprised you don't remember it, Ketsuban ... but then, you can hardly be expected to remember every detail of everything that happened over the past several eons. Anyway, you were easily the strongest of the chaotics, but you couldn't be satisfied with only the powers you could wield with only the force of the soul. You knew that you could only fully use the powers of chaos if you unleashed your Beast — that is, me. So you armed yourself with secrets that Apolydon had taught you, climbed down into the dungeon of your mind — here — and set me free. Keeping a tight leash on me all the while, of course."

Missingno growled. "And why don't I remember any of this?"

"Probably because you were mostly insane for the next few centuries. But, believe it or not, I _didn't_ bother to take full control over our body. Why? Mostly because of gratitude. Do you know just how few souls willingly set their Beasts free? I could count them off on my toes! So really, there was no reason for me to go completely bonkers. You did most of that yourself, Ketsuban. And after a couple of millennia of this, I decided it'd be a big hassle if we kept on with this pattern. I'd wanted to taste life itself more than power ... because, believe it or not, power is overrated. So I went quietly back to my dungeon, and eventually you calmed down."

"... That's the most ridiculous story I've ever heard."

"Oh, but it's true, Ketsuban! And if you can't believe it, think about this: souls aren't known to be naturally vicious. Beasts are. So why is it that you're vicious and I'm not? Because our mannerisms rubbed off on each other." The Beast shuffled its feet, looking almost philosophical. "You know, it's really strange having a _personality_, Ketsuban. Beasts are just the sourness of the self, when it comes down to it ... persuade you to tell white lies here and there, justify in committing a little sin, seemingly harmless things that send you rolling toward oblivion ... and that's just when they're _dormant_. Then, if you've listened to them enough, they betray you once you've died, if old Apolydon's calling. Seize you and drag you kicking and screaming to the Master himself. I guess Hell's preferable to what comes next — for the soul, anyway. But to have a self of my own! It's incredible, it's a ... a miracle you live every day! I can't understand how someone couldn't appreciate living with a will fully his own ..."

"Oh, for Pete's sake."

"Do you have a better explanation, Ketsuban?"

Missingno tilted his head back in a way that made him look as if he were rolling nonexistent eyes. "No," he sighed huffily, "I guess not. But that makes me pretty damn annoyed, you know. Coming down here to find my evil twin, and realizing it's only a fricking alter ego. It makes me feel almost as down as the time when ... when ..."

"When what, Ketsuban?"

"When ..." The chaotic shook his head. "Oh, it's too horrible."

"Aw, come on, tell me!" the Beast pleaded, very delicately laying its scythe on his shoulder. "It'll make you feel better, Ketsuban, I promise! And I'll never tell a soul, honest!"

"Oh, hardy-har."

"Pleeeeease, Ketsuban?"

Missingno sighed again. "_Fine_ ... I was going through old memories one time, you know? It was a dull day, I'd only killed a few people, and I needed something to do. So I came across a bit from the days before I got swept into the Irrational Corner of Doom. I — I had to watch it eight times before I was convinced that my eye sockets weren't deceiving me."

"What was it, Ketsuban?"

"I was ... I was little, and I was giving Arceus flowers!" His breathing actually hitched, and he sniffed pathetically. "Voluntarily giving Arceus flowers! I used to be a ... a _goody-goody_!"

"There, there," the Beast said soothingly, patting his shoulder. "It's all okay, Ketsuban. You were only a little kid then, you didn't know any better. Don't beat yourself up for stuff that's already been said and done!"

"B-but I'm so ashamed of myself!"

"Ketsuban." The Beast put its other scythe on his other shoulder. "Look at me, Ketsuban. You are a great, evil chaotic. You should be proud of who you are. No matter what stupid, foolhardy mistakes you made when you were younger, your heart is perfectly dark and rotten to the core. _That's_ your legacy, Ketsuban. Wear it with pride."

Missingno forced a weak smile at this. "Look at me," he laughed ruefully. "The big bad chaotic, getting weepy."

"Hey, it's all right," the Beast said, grinning at him. "We could all use a good cry now and then. It's good that you told me that, Ketsuban. Don't you feel better now?"

He made a face. "I won't give you the satisfaction of hearing me say yes."

"Silly Ketsuban." The Beast released its grip on Missingno's shoulders. "Now, what are we going to do about Apolydon?"

"... "We"? You mean, you're—"

"Well, duh! I don't have much love for that buffoon. He's the creator of Beasts, but he hasn't done much else for my benefit. You are so much more awesome than he is. And _nobody_ takes over our body without warning! That's too cruel to you, Ketsuban!"

"Okay, I get it, now shut up. Er ... well, I guess we could ... we might be able to ... we could cut his power by letting souls free. It's a good deed, so I sure as hell won't like it, but it's that or be a prisoner for the rest of eternity. Now come on, clear this hole after me."

He turned around, took a deep breath and leapt into the air, careful to control the force used to push off; a moment passed in which the darkness of the pit yawned hungrily beneath him, and then he was landing smoothly on the other side, his bones rattling gently at the impact. Almost instantly the Beast touched down beside him, looking positively thrilled.

"Great," it said happily as they continued down the tunnel. "Hey, Ketsuban, can you call me something besides 'Beast' all the time? That's like me calling you 'Soul', which would probably annoy you, and maybe it's not as fast as calling me 'Beast', but you know. And I think that 'Nabustek' would be in really bad taste, don't you?"

"... Definitely ..."

"Oooooooh! Ooh, Ketsuban, I know what you should call me! You should call me Sherlock, Ketsuban! Because you know he was so awesome with his detective thingies, almost as awesome as you are, Ketsuban! He could do that awesome survive-falling-down-a-waterfall thingy too, and I don't think even chaotics can do that on their own! Or can they, Ketsuban? I'm not really sure, there weren't really deep waterfalls around when I was in control, but I think there was this twisty underwater sea creature thingy that grabbed people with its freaking awesome tentacles, and maybe that's sort of like a waterfall, even if it's a really slippery one with sucker thingies that can suck your face off, and I think that's supposed to hurt. Would it hurt, Ketsuban? Our body doesn't normally have a face, does it, Ketsuban, so I don't know if I'd notice when it hurt. Unless it was a minute when I _did_ have a face, as one of those skeleton thingies, you know, and their faces can bite people, and so do fleas. I don't like fleas, do you, Ketsuban? They make me want to eat pie—"

"Beast! Shut UP!"

"I'm Sherlock now, Ketsuban," it said self-importantly, folding its arms so that its scythes stuck up past its shoulders.

"Fine, you're Sherlock. Just shut up!"

"Okay, Ketsuban."

"And stop calling me Ketsuban!"

"Okay, Ketsuban."

Missingno groaned. _I was better off unconscious._

* * *

Beyond the door, another **Crushed** soul joined Apolydon's feed.

Another scream which couldn't shatter the nightmare echoed for a second that lasted for eternity.

Apolydon relished the scream. He let it twist within his pitch-black self, its shrill terror giving him the power to grow stronger, crueler, capable of squeezing further agony from the soul until every exquisite drop of fear and horror had been consumed, leaving it crumpled and nearly useless. There were those creatures of hidden tribes in mountains and forests whose stories were passed down the generations without tainting the purity of the horrific truths within. They whispered of a monster, an anti-god, a being of shadowy origins and even darker desires ...

They called him the Devourers of Souls.

Somewhere to the northwest the human Warren would be flying toward what he thought was his glorious triumph against a mere chaotic. The wrongness of this assumption was almost laughable. But it wouldn't be martyrdom, either. Martyrdom suggests an inspiring death, a noble sacrifice, a figurehead for the greater good. The blood of the innocent puts others on the path to heaven, or so they say.

But today, the innocent would be snatched to hell.

* * *

"And then she was all, 'And I'm seu euver her,'" Peach went, giving Leaf's voice an obnoxious valley girl accent. "And he was like, 'No way,' but not really, 'cause he still could not _believe_ she'd do a thing like that. And then she was like, 'Ya wey!' And this is the unspoken struggle thing, y'know, the tension and stuff that's going on under what they're really saying. And so then she was like, 'She is _seu_ a danger ta sahcieteh, and meh life, and seu on, yeu know?'"

Frosti chewed his sandwich mechanically, his big lizardy eyes glued to the small yellow mouse as she bounced around on the coordinator's shoulder, reliving Paris's release with a great deal of drama.

"And then he was like 'Wait, I have a cart!' And she was all, 'Say whaaaa?' And he was all, 'I AM COBALT HAHAHAHAHA', and then she hit him. It was really loud, and he was like, 'Ow,' and then she was all, 'Like, yeu are seu evil, yeu! And I deun't like yeur girl haih, and blah blah blah blah', and then Lightning was like ..." She cleared her throat, beamed, and put on an impression of what she evidently thought qualified as a manly voice. "He was like, 'Halt, you felon! This is no place for a lady to raise a hand against a defenseless person, especially if he is well aware of the hazards of this dastardly world, for he wears that obvious trademark of somebody who likes his head the shape it is, which is called, poetically, a helmet.'"

"That was _hardly_ what he said," Leaf commented dryly, munching her own sandwich with a hint of disdain. The vendor who'd sold the food to them had seemed rather vague concerning what its ingredients were, but with Leaf's reduced funds they literally couldn't afford to be picky.

The ragtag little band sat lazily on a park bench on the outskirts of the city, casually eating their lunches with varied degrees of gusto. In front of them a concrete path stretched from side to side, extending toward the metallic city in one direction and toward Nugget Bridge on the other. Trees sat scattered around at various intervals, and a few curious Pokemon faces were sticking cautiously from the depths of their foliage, noses twitching hungrily at the scent of food. The sky shone blue, as usual, but on the horizon, at the seeming edge of the glittering waves, a teeming mass of black gathered with an unhurried speed and a distant roll of thunder. Another storm was headed this way.

Peach continued to bounce around, spraying sandwich from her mouth as she related the details of the gym drama to the other Pokemon, most of whom gaped in some sort of fascinated horror when not chewing. Only Cheri, who seemed to lack sensitivity, and Peter, who obviously lacked a mouth, stared at her impassively.

"I _know_ that," she retorted, rolling her eyes at Leaf. "It's just more interesting the way I tell it, which is a stretch, considering what happened, but hey. So anyway, then she was all, 'Like, shut up, yeu! Can't yeu see I'm trying teu jump teu concleusions heah?' And Lightning was all like, 'Not so, scallywag, for though my size is diminutive my heart beats with a passion for truth and justice! And my sweet Peach, of course!' And then—"

Leaf ignored the Pichu's animated narrative, turning instead to Lightning, who gazed thoughtfully at nothing in particular. It was amazing how quickly a person could get used to a Pichu bouncing around on them, mused some distant corner of her brain. His sandwich was grasped in one hand, uneaten.

"Look," Leaf said suddenly, jumping right into the matter of things, "I _know_ what you're thinking. It's terrible, what's her problem, et cetera. But it looks different if it's _your_ decision, you know? Seeing things in a different light, that sort of thing. It was just the right thing for me to do, you know?"

"I know." Lightning shrugged half-heartedly. A stifling breeze ruffled his blond hair playfully. "It was right for _you_, and I won't argue with you there ... it won't do anyone any good, at any rate. But was it right for everyone else?"

Leaf, who was hardly any good at seeing from the other person's point of view, shrugged in return. Her blatant abandonment of Paris was already being obscured in the shadow of the still-looming mysteries of how there could be Cobalts, in the plural — and the developing suspicion of _the_ Cobalt's true identity.

Lightning was not exactly smart. He _was_ wise, however, which is not quite the same thing. So he decided not to press the matter, as he was well aware that Leaf was a stubborn person and stubborn people typically don't agree with answers they don't like.

"You really never heard about the Cobalts?" he ventured finally.

"Nah." Leaf wiggled her toes in her new green-and-purple flip-flops. She congratulated herself for the eightieth time for finding something so cheap and yet so fashion-forward. "Ocean and I were giggling and gossiping too much in History to listen. Well," she amended, thinking it over, "mostly Ocean. But it was important stuff! Like who really threw the plastic tiara at the school mascot ..." She sighed. "Those were the days. When we were young and carefree, y'know?"

"I'll take your word for it. So ... it goes like this, right? According to the Word, Arceus blessed this merchant guy 'ten-thousandfold', whatever that means, for his courage and faith and et cetera. And he somehow received the gift of understanding Pokemon, as well as other stuff that I didn't understand _at all_. The blessings were apparently passed down to his descendants, and their descendents, and everyone remembered his name — Cobalt — forever and ever and ever and a lot more evers."

He took a deep breath, and in the quiet second he realized that every one of their Pokemon was staring at him too.

"Er. They were pretty powerful," he went on, trying to ignore their piercing gazes. "Became kings and emperors and court wizards ... a lot of them lost power during the Holy Wars, though. Went into hiding, basically. But they still rule us today, even though the source of their strength is more obscure than it used to be."

Leaf blinked. "Rule us?"

The boy groaned. "See, Leaf, _this_ is why you're supposed to pay attention! History has a huge impact on how government works, don't you know? Practically every important member of the Leagues is a Cobalt descendant!"

Frosti squealed dramatically.

The girl's mouth fell open in astonishment. "You mean—"

"Yeah. Gym leaders, Elite Four, Frontier Brains, Champions, they're all there. All related in some way or another. It's like an aristocracy, even though we did away with those ages ago. It's kind of sad, actually. The Leagues are always advertising 'equal opportunities', and yet only the select get ... well, get selected."

Peach frowned at this. Static jumped indignantly from her red cheeks.

"So _that's_ how they could understand their Pokemon!" Leaf stared at him, eyes flashing wildly, as the reality of this knowledge clunked into place. "Because Cobalt's got their name, obviously. At least, _somewhere_ in his family tree. And Roark's in the League, and I—"

She cut herself off with a gasp as a sudden thought barreled into her. Lightning blinked at her curiously.

"_I understand them too!_"

"Yeah, we all knew _that_."

"But — but I-I — I'm a — b-but ..." she stuttered, going red in the face. "I'm a _Cobalt_!"

"I guessed so."

She had to force herself not to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. "But why didn't you _tell me?_"

"I thought you already had an idea about it!" Lightning held up his hands defensively. "I mean, I know you got it _suddenly_ and all, but I'd have thought you'd be more curious about what it might mean, even if you _didn't_ know!"

"Yeah, because I don't already have enough shocking mystery in my life," Leaf muttered sarcastically. "Listening to Pokemon gabber on all the time while avoiding metaphorical and physical bullets, and—"

"I resent that!" Frosti piped up, annoyed.

"You know what I mean, Frosti. So this means the Professor was _wrong_!" she exclaimed, and her eyes glazed at the new crash of revelation. Somehow, the fact that somebody who she had considered to be the top authority in genius for her whole life could be _wrong_, was a great deal more shocking to her than the subtle injustice of the way the League was mostly controlled by a single, unrelentingly powerful family. "He was going on about brain structure and so on, but he was wrong! I just started hearing everything chatter because I'm a _Cobalt_!"

"Er," said Lightning, eloquent as usual.

"What?"

"That's not really how it works." He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly; she could _see_ him trying to find the best way to put it. "It, er, usually has to develop over years, and even then it's only with Pokemon they've gotten close to. And they can sense things, emotions and stuff, from types they affiliate themselves with ... like gym leaders, yeah? But that's about it. In rare cases — hey, I watch the news, okay? I'm allowed to know this sort of thing!" Lightning cried indignantly, as Dory snorted at his getting carried away. "In rare cases — _stop laughing, Dory!_ — it comes on them suddenly, and with all Pokemon, only in traumatic events or a severe elemental burst. Like a really bad burn, or something."

"But ... but ... come on, you know nothing like that happened!" Leaf said, looking confused and slightly hysterical. "I didn't get nearly killed then, no matter how much that happens now. There was only me leaving the lab after I picked up Frosti and wandering down to the beach and meeting up with Skipper and — oh."

It wasn't a shocked "oh". It wasn't even a mildly surprised "oh". It was the sort of quiet "oh" which one uses when one suddenly realizes how everything falls into place and curses themselves silently for not being clever enough to figure it out before.

Lightning watched at her warily. "Oh what?"

"The Pokedex."

_It was so obvious!_ she berated herself, shoving her hand into her bag and rummaging around in it violently. _How did you_ not _see it! One minute they weren't talking, then I told the Pokedex to tell me about Swampert and it_ zapped _me! Of course I didn't think about it at the time, there was too much going on even at that moment! I probably just dismissed it as a loose circuit, but—_

_"Hey, hey, hey! Quit manhandling me, girlie!"_

"What did you do?" Leaf snapped, withdrawing it with a rather aggressive shake. "Whatever it was, you did it on purpose, didn't you? You knew who — you knew _what_ I was, dammit! How did you know? _What did you do?_"

_"I don't know what you're talking about,"_ the Pokedex sniffed in an arrogantly superior voice, the one it used when it was lying and showing off about it. _"And even if I did, I'm a machine! I have no free will, so I am naturally blameless. And even if I_ wasn't _naturally blameless, it wouldn't have anything at all to do with—"_

"Oh, hello?"

Leaf looked up, blinking in surprise. The mysterious tanned woman was walking along the path towards them, the city behind her providing an urban background (as urban as a region such as Kanto could get, at any rate). The breeze whipped her hair around, giving her a strong resemblance to somebody in a shampoo commercial. The way she moved seemed to scream superiority; it wasn't as if she was swaggering towards them, it was just that she radiated an I'm-better-than-you-and-there's-no-point-in-arguing sort of vibe.

_"Holy sugar!"_ the Pokedex squealed mechanically. _"This is so unexpectedly and wickedly unexpected! Even with all the crazy things going on since you midgets started running around, I never woulda_ dreamed _we'd get to see a F—"_

It abruptly fell silent, an almost unprecedented event. Leaf might have been unnerved to know that the woman's fingers had twitched suspiciously at that exact moment; as it was, she was examining her eyes, which glinted golden in the light of the sun. _That's strange,_ she thought. _I could've sworn that they were silver yesterday._

The woman smiled. She raised her hand as if to wave.

A lean shadow fell across them.

_"Get down!"_ screamed a voice above, although this wasn't really necessary because the kids were violently pushed off the bench at virtually the same moment. Gasping as they collided with the gravel, which pricked painfully at their skin as they landed, they automatically craned their necks upward at the sight of the thing above them, squinting in the intensity of the sun.

Their eyes widened in astonishment.

Behind them, there was an ugly sound of splintering wood as the bench exploded ...

* * *

And you want to know who exactly was in Leaguechat. Let's get listy, shall we?

Alexander = Volkner

Circleoflife = Blaine

EspeMetagross = Anabel

Godbrother = Warren (current Kanto champion)

karatekid = Maylene

lefthandofdarkness and righthandoflight = Tate and Liza, respectively

Liveonaprayer = Cassie (Kerothyu's psychic gym leader)

Mind_Over_Matter = Lucian

Not_So_Serious = Will

PrismaticMoon = Morty

Sarcasm_Flower = Misty

Salem = Sabrina

Waves = Brawly


	20. Crossing Paths: Part I

I've been wondering whether the summary should say this stars another character besides Leaf. I've been thinking perhaps Charmander (as Frosti), but I don't know if anyone else would consider him a major enough character. Opinions on the matter would be much appreciated. As are reviews, of course. XD

* * *

Chapter Twenty: Crossing Paths (The Champion Meets His Match!) – Part One

Some things just don't make sense.

Take the moment, for example, at which Leaf's gaze snapped to and fro between the shape above them, diving out of the sky, and the shape before them, now breaking into an all-out sprint. Her brain was telling her that this scenario shouldn't be happening, not in a billion years, because while the woman running toward them dropped her smiling mask to reveal a frustrated scowl ...

... The _same_ woman barreled into her with the force of a determined jet.

Confused thoughts battled each other furiously to be heard, but the one that reached the surface of Leaf's mind first was, "What?"

"She's got _wings_!" Frosti gasped, and squealed as a chunk of bench flew over his head; he dived to the ground, glancing up furtively as if bombs were falling out of the sky. "Look, the one in the air is _flying_!"

"What?" Leaf repeated, although this time curiosity forced its way through the confusion.

Peering up at the cloud of dust forming around the scuffling women, she realized with utter astonishment that, indeed, a pair of bronze-colored wings protruded from the bases of the newcomer's shoulder blades, their long feathers fluttering as the lengthy appendages pounded rhythmically up and down. In the brilliant light of the sun her eyes seemed to glow celestial silver. Somewhere beneath the turmoil of panic and worry, a calmer, more observing thought formed in the depths of Leaf's mind: _That's her!_ She's _the one who showed everyone Paris's true self! Weird ... besides the eyes, they look exactly alike ... except for the wings, of course—_

With an ear-splitting shriek the gold-eyed woman arced backwards, away from the kids' savior ... an incredible burst of light concealed her leaning form, just for a moment, although the dancing, blinding afterimages made it seem longer. When Leaf had blinked rapidly to clear them, her mouth dropped open when it became apparent that _both_ women now sported wings, which flapped almost in unison as the two circled each other in midair, hands outstretched and ready to punch.

_'Kay, just the eyes, then ..._

"I was hoping it wouldn't come to this."

It was the silver-eyed woman who had spoken. Her steely glare, narrower in the brilliant sunlight, gave her a stern, almost hawk-like appearance that made her seem, somehow, more than human ... as if the wings hadn't been a dead giveaway.

But her foe, far from intimidated, threw her head back and snickered. "Oh, please," she snorted, with a voice laced with a very faint drawl: an American accent, which somehow seemed familiar. "You just can't see the light, can you, Mom? Can't let go of the crusty old ways like the rest of your high-and-mighty posse, right?"

The kids exchanged startled glances. _"Mom"? But they look like twins!_

"It _would_ seem that way, wouldn't it ... to someone who'd gone over to _their_ side ..." The silver-eyed woman shook her head and sighed; her hair fluttered with another wing-beat. "Why, Vember? Why'd you do it?"

Vember's lip curled. "I wouldn't think somebody as old-fashioned as _you_ would understand. So excuse me if I finish what I came here to start, right, and let me turn these pathetic little mortals into grease smears on the dirt!"

With inhuman speed she drew back her arm and flung something invisible at the teenagers, who lay there gaping up at her, frozen in terror—

"NO!"

The woman whose silver gaze pierced her daughter's sneering face threw her hand before the invisible missile, fingers spread apart protectively; there was a dull _BOOM_ as the thing struck, and little green-blue wisps curled up menacingly upon impact, but the woman didn't even flinch. She flicked her fingers in a curling motion; Vember yelped and rolled to the side, but the arcane wisps shot behind the woman instead, right towards Leaf, who blanched and tried to avoid the incoming _things_ ...

But they halted just inches from her face, twisting around before her eyes until they formed the fluid letters _Get out I'll distract_ before they dissolved like exotic smoke.

Vember snorted with derisive laughter as she righted herself. "Oh, _brother_," she snickered, shaking her head slightly as she leered at her mother. "Can't even _try_ to fight without sentimental little qualms, can you, _Mom_, what kind of god _are_ you, how pathet—"

_WHAM!_

"URK!" Vember gasped, as her mother slammed her into the dusty earth. Splayed against the ground, she kicked hard in retaliation, sinking her sandal-clad feet into the offender's stomach; the mother winced but refused to relinquish her grip.

_"Hurry!"_ Leaf hissed, jumping to her feet as she snatched her handbag off the ground; Frosti immediately unfroze and tapped a Poke Ball hanging from her belt, which instantly engulfed him in brilliant light as it drew him in. Lightning, following her lead, managed to return Dory and Maggie as Peach scuttled up onto his shoulder, but—

_"Not so easily, stupid mortals!"_ Vember yowled, thrashing harder. _"I won't be deterred, believe it! Eat aura, fleshbags!"_

This time the projectile she threw wasn't anywhere close to invisible: a basketball-sized orb of green-blue light was catapulted from her hand before her mother could react. It rocketed through the air for a moment, a thin tail of aura trailing behind it like a comet, before it blasted Peter into the air; the cocoon, being what he was, did absolutely nothing as he hurtled upward in a great curve over their heads toward the nearby meadow.

"Peter!" Lightning cried out in shock, and without further ado raced underneath his impassive bug, arms outstretched as he strained to keep up with the Pokemon; Leaf followed close behind, with Cheri buzzing right on her heels.

_"Hi!"_ said the Pokedex cheerfully, sitting in the bag hanging from Leaf's arm.

"Shut up, you."

_"You're so ungrateful,"_ the Pokedex sniffed haughtily. _"And here I was going to tell your idiot blond pal to get out of catching range, as far as that buggy dimbulb is concerned. Unless he wants his arms burned off, of course, in which case he can go ahead, the nimrod."_

"Why ... should I?" Lightning panted, gazing up without slackening his pace as gravity finally reaffirmed its hold on Peter and dragged him steadily down; the air whistled as his shiny, hard body fell downward, like a bad innuendo just waiting to happen.

_"See his edges? They're glowing, you know? Like a wave of heat, but not as normal. Remember last time that happened, bub?"_

"Oh, _shoot_!"

Lightning skidded to a halt and threw himself backward, just in time: the shimmering, glow-enshrouded body sizzled through the air where his head had been half a second before, making Peach squeal in surprise. Next second, a muffled _WHOMP_ sounded as the Metapod slammed into the ground, throwing dust everywhere. Squinting her eyes as she caught up to Lightning, Leaf blinked in surprise at the size of the crater before them; evolution, it seemed, defied physics.

Then again, _any_ rule which allows pathetic fish to turn into raging sea serpents _has_ to defy physics.

"Peter!"

From the crater a hair-raising scream sliced through the air, followed by a deafening crack that turned their blood to ice — a crackling bolt of aura was launched towards them, and they were forced to dive out of the way — lifting her head, Leaf watched as the dust slowly settled to the point where Peter's body, and the newly formed crack winding jaggedly along it, was easily visible. Sickly vomit-colored liquid spewed from the widening fissure, splattering everything within three feet as the cocoon began to split unevenly in half; his already glazed eyes dulled, and the heavy eyelids drooped weakly shut.

"Peter!" Lightning exclaimed again.

The green halves of the Metapod's body burst apart; the scream rose to an ear-splitting crescendo that had everyone gritting their teeth — and it came from the blue-black shape rolling on the ground in agony. Moisture glittered on its hairy form, giving it the appearance of some sort of alien newborn, and the analogy was made more eerily apt with the dripping white things wrapped around it like a baby blanket, coated with the dust sticking to it. As the glow faded, their concern melted into bemusement as they saw that Peter was literally alive and kicking, thrashing a pair of pale blue feet protruding from the unseen end of his body.

" ... ARGGGGHHHH ... AAAARRGH ... aarghaarghaargh ... uh ..." The bug's wild movements jerkily slowed as he realized that the whole ideal was all over. "Uh, argh. Oh, da _pain_ ... mah damn head ... er ...?"

Peach blinked slowly.

"Whoa ... what's dis crap?" Peter, getting to his feet rather drunkenly, swayed as he took in the sight of everyone watching him; multifaceted eyes, the color of drying blood, stared blearily back at them over a pale blue nose, which was situated over a pair of small fangs dripping with drool. He leaned dangerously to the side, trying to use his stubby arms for balance. Very slowly, the white things came unstuck, loosening so that they hung from his back; as the sunlight hit them they un-crumpled on their own, spreading into the broad wingspan, glistening as they began to dry in the heat.

An aura projectile whistled ominously as it narrowly missed Lightning's head.

_"Yeah, lucky for you I was here, eh, blondie? Wouldn't want your precious blood smeared all over that crater, would we ... lemme see. Buttafree, da Gangsta Pokemon. Gender is Male, foo'. Height is I Gots Candy In Mah Van, Kid, Weight is I Lied, Sucka! Dis bug is high all da time, ya know, cuz of da powdas comin' off its wings. As such, dese guys have naturally evolved inta serious crackheads right from da get-go. Dey_ love _deir powdas. But da females got higha tolerance to dat stuff, which is why, when dey do deir mating dance, da male's gotta dump a serious amount o' powdas on her ta get her workin'. Cuz how else would da male get laid?"_

"Dat's mockery, foo'," the Butterfree drawled testily.

_"Dat's_ life, _yo."_

Peter glared at the contraption, flapping his wings in warning. A purplish powder was unleashed into the air, loosened from the edges of the wings' scales by the sudden movement, and it hung before him for a moment, shimmering like an arcane haze, before gradually dissipating. He blinked, surprised at what he had just done, gazing at the filth-coated wings almost fondly.

A pressure at his neck made him freeze. Cautiously, he glanced down.

The point of Cheri's stinger was there.

"Er," he said.

Tension rippled through the area, straining muscles and tweaking the mental barrier which prevented Lightning from biting his nails. Silence blossomed darkly, aside from the shrieking of the fighting women behind them and the scampering of small Pokemon who were too stupid to have already run away. A blinding flash from behind them cast bright light across the ground for a moment, but in the anxiety forming in the minds of the humans and mouse, nobody noticed.

"Ah ..." Peter swallowed nervously, albeit with great care as he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the spear which could very easily turn him into a bug kebab. "Uh. Does dis count as assault?"

"Butterfree," Cheri said in a cold, dangerous voice, "you are aware of the Beedrill Code of Honor, are you not?"

The butterfly grimaced. Apparently he, unlike Leaf last night, was fully aware.

"My tribe," she hissed, eyes glinting horrifically as she nudged the spear point just a bit further against his flesh; he cringed and flattened his antennae in terror. "My honor. The balance of Viridian Forest. You owe me all of these, a truth I came to terms with upon evolution ... your Metapod shell protected you from me. Cocoons are helpless; it is a dishonorable thing to harm them. But now—"

"Ya can't kill me!" Peter squealed, his voice jumping several octaves higher. "I got mah whole life ahead o' me, girl! All da sights I wanted ta see, and da aromas ta smell, and da ladies ta seduce ... a Buttafree got his rights too!"

"Possibly." Cheri's eyes narrowed to murderous ruby slits. "But a depraved coward does not deserve such things. Tell him to drop that, trainer," she added sideways to Leaf, keeping her icy gaze on her foe. "This is not his quarrel."

Leaf relayed the message to Lightning, who replaced Peter's Poke Ball onto his belt with an embarrassed expression. He looked the same way that she felt: at the moment, she wanted nothing more than to tell Cheri to snap out of it, but her hand was stayed by the creeping premonition that doing so would cause the bug to say quietly, "Is that your third debt, human?" and suddenly swivel around to put the point at _her_ neck.

"MOTHER, CUT THAT OUT!"

"You have the spine of a month-dead Tentacool," Cheri snarled, not even blinking at Vember's shriek. "The ancestry of a mongrel, the mind of an inbred, the heart of a murderer, the will of a leech, a soul more shriveled than a forgotten leaf in the heart of winter. Your blood is thinner than water, but I will be damned if it is not soon raining on my spears! There is nothing you can stutter to save yourself!"

"Er ... w-would 'y-ya insults are v-very p-poetic' work?" Peter stammered nervously.

"NO, MOTHER! LET ME KILL THEM!"

"I don't know why there's still shouting going on," Peach commented uneasily, looking over Lightning's shoulder. "I mean, they've gone or something. There's only a couple of birds squabbling over there ..."

"Idiocy is not an admirable trait," Cheri growled at the Butterfree. "If you were to survive, I would not suggest you hold onto it."

"They're very _big_ birds, though," Peach continued, gazing at the unseen fighting. "And ... er ... do birds usually have arms? Because the only bird I ever saw with arms was tall, yellow and obnoxious—"

"YOU'RE ALL MINE!"

"NO!"

A rush of wind whistled, and a second later a bronze blur dived out of the sky towards them; it was tackled in midair by a second, similar blur, which smashed the first into the ground a few yards away, kicking up a cloud of dust. A feathery head reared out of the flying dirt, its black beak open in a screech of rage, before lunging back into the fray; a clawed fist crackling with golden electricity leapt after it.

Everyone blinked.

"Are they ..." Leaf began, and paused. What she was about to say was going to sound completely nonsensical, but _somebody_ had to say it. "Are those two birds ... the _women_?"

_"Well, they're not 'just birds',"_ the Pokedex said smarmily. _"They are in fact some of the most epic birds in the history of all time, if I do say so myself. And I do, by the way, which means that it's obviously true—"_

"ARE YOU KIDS INSANE?" shouted the voice of the silver-eyed bird-woman-whatever-she-was, straining to be heard over Vember's yowl. "I'M DISTRACTING HER TO SAVE YOUR LIVES AND YOU'RE JUST STANDING THERE _TALKING_? RUN, DAMMIT, RUN!"

Cheri closed her eyes in exasperation, reluctantly withdrawing her spear. "My revenge will be delayed," she sighed darkly, "but not canceled. Your blood _will_ fall like rain, Butterfree, believe—"

"Save the monologue come later!" Leaf cut in, recalling the Beedrill; Lightning, looking shaken, did the same for Peter. "Right now we need to save our skins! Pokedex, what _are_ those two? And why the hell is one of them trying to kill us?"

The two humans hastily took off through the long grass of the meadow; ahead of them, the city remained in the distance, glinting tauntingly.

_"Well,"_ the contraption replied thoughtfully, as the handbag banged against Leaf's leg over and over again, _"I have no clue about the second question. I might be a genius, but I'm not a god, no matter what my lovers say. However, those literal chicks back there are part of the_ extremely _rare species known as Fystor."_

"HOLY CRAP!"

_"And there's the obligatory fanboy entrance. Way to go, blondie, just way to go. Or was that just because that aura javelin thingy almost took your head off? Meh. Fystor, the Epic Pokemon. Gender is Female for both of them, which is obvious, look at that catfight! How sexy is that? Rayyyerrr!"_

"Wh-what is _that_ supp-pposed to mean?" Leaf panted.

_"That was the yowling cat noise thing. Geez, you all fail. Anyway, Height is Epic, Weight is Epic. Guess what, guys, it's epic! Seriously, it is, it's a bird with_ fists! _Yeah, and it's pretty much THE aura Pokemon. Lucario is just a poser. It's got both fight_ and _flight under control, since it has air speeds of up to ... er ... up to a big number. Yeah. And it can pack a LOT of power in its punch, for real. You do_ not _want to be on the receiving end of one of them buggers. Oh, and it's a legendary Pokemon. So you're screwed, suckers."_

"B-but there's only _one_ Pokemon p-per legendary species, isn't there?" Lightning chanced a look over his unoccupied shoulder; the squabbling legends were a couple of specks in the distance, but a burst of aura still sliced the air nearby. "H-how could there be two?"

_"I dunno, ask_ them. _Maybe the psycho one'll tell you right before she rips your head off."_

And then the bomb exploded.

* * *

There is this to be said about aura: reading it is just like reading any other sign in the world. It is easily classified as its own sense, although most stories equate it to second sight and leave it there. It is, to put it basically, the famed sixth sense, and like the five preceding it, it can only process so much information at once. A sudden flash of light leaves one temporarily blind; a flaming-hot sauce leaves the taste buds useless for a time; so an intense burst of aura, especially one crafted by a master into a volatile bomb, severely inhibits one's ability to read it for a while.

Fystor knew this. Vember didn't.

Which is why, a few minutes after the muffled _BOOM_ and accompanying flash of light, the daughter stumbled rather drunkenly about through the dusty grass, the golden color of her eyes hidden as she squeezed them shut, holding her feathery head in pain. A warbled groan escaped her partially open beak as her feet flailed around on their own accord ...

... Right over the edge of a nearby cliff.

"Oh, DAMN IT—"

_SPLOSH!_

"Wrglnmlngsfw—"

Lashing out furiously with her claws, she managed to lift her head above the surface of the freezing water, sputtering at the foul taste of ocean salt. Treading water, she squinted in irritation and frustration.

_Damn kids, they actually got away!_

She glared dimly at the empty beach, with its pale gold sands and the bleach-white logs cast here and there at random intervals. A Krabby scuttled along sideways nearby, until it noticed the expression on her face and hurriedly _click-click-clicked_ away on its spindly little legs.

"Bugger off," she snapped after it, shaking her damp head and sending droplets flying everywhere. _I can't sense_ anything! _I've been turned into some idiotic blind person! How can all those retarded mortals_ live _like this?_

Shivering with cold and fury, she tipped back her head and unleashed a savage cry of revenge at the blazing sun as it continued its long journey toward the distant western horizon.

"MOTHERRRRRRRRRRR ..."

* * *

"Is ... she ... ch-chasing us?"

"Nah, I th-think ... I think we lost her."

"We'd _better_ have lost her, look how far you ran! Poor, sweet Lightning, you really should rest!"

The two humans slowed to a halt, wincing at the pricking in their legs as they leaned against the wall of the unknown building, bent over, their hands on their knees. Lightning gulped down air, wiping the sweat from his brow; on his shoulder Peach patted the back of his pale hair soothingly.

Ignoring the mouse's embarrassing fondling, Leaf glanced about, wincing as she rubbed the blisters throbbing painfully on the soles of her feet. This part of the city was foreign to her: no trash lay scattered on the cement, no half-finished construction work marred the course of the roads, at least as far as she could see. Across the street rose a wall of important-looking office buildings, towering loftily over them as their hundreds of windows reflected the light of the afternoon sun. A few blocks away, a snob of a woman walked her Snubbull, a canine with a cutesy color and less-than-cutesy face.

"Hello."

"Yiiiii!"

Leaf leapt in fright at the sound of the voice in her ear, grabbing at a second-story windowsill to prevent herself from jumping too high. Fystor, standing there quietly in human form, smirked slightly, while Lightning just shook his head: he would never understand why nothing jumped higher than a scared girl.

"I've stopped my daughter's senses with an aura bomb," the silver-eyed woman stated calmly, as if Leaf wasn't hanging several yards above the ground. "She'll recover eventually, and she's sure to keep looking for you manually, although her pride might hinder that. But you two're safe, for at least a few days. Anyway ..." She leaned casually against the wall, gazing up at Leaf. "What on Shaymin's green earth makes you think that the Lapras isn't good enough for you anymore?"

The girl stopped cringing at the effort of keeping a hold on the building, and blinked in surprise. "How did you kn—?"

"Oh, please. You're aura's practically _screaming_ it. Hell, the way you _walk_ is sickeningly superior, so _anybody_ can tell. And don't protest," she added sharply, as Leaf opened her mouth in astonished anger. "It hurt her, and you know it. But it's just as well that it's been done now, or else the consequences would have been on a grander scale later on."

Lightning gazed at her tall form in awe. Peach glared at him blackly.

"Yes, I really am Fystor," the woman told him, answering his unanswered question without even looking at him. "And yes, Vember is a Fystor too. But I'm _the_ Fystor. She's just one of my daughters. And that doesn't make sense to you, so I'll have to explain that sometime. Don't give me that look, Peach, he's just having a momentary fanboy spasm at the moment, it'll pass soon enough."

Peach raised a confused eyebrow.

"Er, hello," Leaf called down, her voice strained with effort. "Back up here. Can you get me down, bird-fist-person-whatever? Because this is _really_ starting to hurt, and I don't want to go splat."

Fystor made a face. "What, transform and fly up there to pick you up? This is a city street in the middle of the daytime!"

"But — ow — nobody's around—"

"That'll change in, oh, sixty seconds. They'll all be passing through here in a hurry, though, so you'll have to let go the _moment_ I tell you to if you want a cushion — or else, as you put it so poetically, you'll 'go splat'."

The sound of scampering feet, growing louder as they neared, caused Peach's ears to prick up in curiosity. Then the mouse blinked, rubbing her eyes in disbelief — that was either a _really_ weird heat wave, or something almost invisible was gliding past with astonishing speed ...

"NOW!"

Leaf hadn't wanted to obey, not entirely trusting this random bird-person, but her fingers had a different opinion on the matter. They creaked open, frozen for a cramped position in a brief, wind-filled moment as the sky rushed upwards, and—

"Oof!"

"OUCH!" shouted several voices, although a distinctly separate one happily cried out, "Spaghetti!"

The mouths of Lightning and Peach dropped open in astonishment. One moment, they reflected incredulously, there had been nothing but running and falling; the next, a pile of groaning bodies lay nearby on the sidewalk. Leaf was seen lying at the top, rubbing her hands in pain, but the rest of the collision victims were not so lucky.

In the universal tradition of all mishaps, something rolled out of the pile erratically before hitting a nearby fire hydrant with a rather pathetic clang, where it clattered to the ground, spinning feebly.

The boy turned to Fystor, gaping. "How did you _do_ that?"

She tapped the side of her head knowingly. "Brains, kid. Actually, millions of years' experience in reading aura helps, too."

Peach blinked in surprise: it might have been her imagination, but she could've sworn that something in the direction of the retreating heat wave had called "Thanks!" in a fading voice.

"No problem!" Fystor called after it, confirming the possibility.

"Ugh ..."

"Ooh, the sweat smells yummy!"

"Shut up, Phlash. Who's in here?"

"I am."

"Me!"

"Me too!"

"Ketchup!"

"Yeah, that's not helping. Look, whoever's on top just get _off_, right? My ass is getting squished."

"Oh, sorry about that."

With great care, trying and failing to avoid stepping on people's fingers (her own twinged in sympathy as she did so), Leaf navigated her way off of the pile of people, making her way over to Lightning while sneaking suspicious glances at Fystor.

_"Ooh, check that out!"_ exclaimed the Pokedex from her dangling handbag (which always seemed to be with her in the thick of things). _"I didn't think I'd see one_ this _early, but hey. Orgy, the WHOAAAA Pokemon—"_

"POKEDEX!"

"Oooh!" The familiar copper-headed form of Gina painfully clawed its way to freedom; Lightning scowled at her reappearance, but the young woman's eyes were trained on Leaf's feet and growing large in admiration. "Oooh, look at those _shoes_! They're, like, the most chic thing I've seen in my whole life! Where on earth did you _get_ them?"

Leaf grinned sheepishly. "Target."

"No!"

"They were _on sale_."

"Seriously?"

"For _fifty_ credits."

"Shut _up_!" the admin squealed, pushing Leaf's shoulder girlishly. "You did _not_ pull that off! You lucky duck—"

"Wait!" groaned a voice, as its white-wigged owner stuck his head out of the pile of pain, calling after the not-heat-wave-thingy that had long since disappeared. "Come back, it! Come baaaaaaack ..." He waited for a few moments, then slumped dejectedly, as if he'd actually expected it to swivel around and rush towards him.

Everyone merely stared at him, as he wallowed in disillusionment.

"Gina," he muttered finally, "you're fraternizing with the enemy."

"But her _sandals_!" she gushed in protest. "They are ah-dorable! I seriously need to get some like those, it'll bring my collection up to one hundred and fifty pairs! And they actually look _comfy_, the straps usually rub your feet raw, especially when they're so _new_—"

With a grunt, Cobalt pushed himself out of the mass, causing everyone left in it to collapse; one cat, who seemed to have arched herself protectively over another, smaller feline's body, finally crumpled in exhaustion. A blue, bubbly-looking mouse squeaked pitifully, while the blond young woman next to it patted it with a giggle, oblivious to the moans around her; a familiar red-headed teenager, on the other hand, painstakingly crawled his way over to the fire hydrant, where he grabbed the nearby helmet and set it carefully back on his head.

"You okay?" Lightning asked him, looking concerned: Peach smiled sadly and snuggled softly against his neck as she realized that her trainer was concerned for more than the miner's physical well-being.

Roark, however, had no such revelation, as he replied, "Yeah. Ow ... see, _this_ is why everyone should wear a helmet."

"Yeah, but it _fell off_," Leaf pointed out, not seeming to get that the thing about points is how they tend to burst someone's bubble. "How is it supposed to help you if it just falls off when stuff falls on _you_?"

"Weird Hair Guy!" Phlash exclaimed, popping up out of nowhere to tug on Cobalt's pant leg. "Guess what? Your hair looks weird!"

"Did you hear something, Lightning?" the miner asked haughtily, making a point to look around in every direction but Leaf's.

"Well—"

"I thought not. Look, I need to find Skipper and Anni. Have you seen them?"

"No, we've been running from—"

"Heyyyy!" Gina exclaimed, grabbing Roark's shoulder and spinning him around to face her. "I know you! You're Stop Sign Head, aren't you? You and what's-his-face got Severus landed in jail a couple days ago, I saw you in the mountain, and the big Swampert! Weird, isn't it, how you _and_ Leaf have a Swampert, right?"

"What?"

"You are?" Cobalt stared at him for a moment, then leapt forward and violently shook his gloved hand like a fanboy. "You are! How can I ever thank you? It wasn't quite as efficient as letting him get killed, true, but at least he's out of my unseen hair!"

The miner looked uncertain at the admin's unexpected praise. "Er ... don't mention it?"

"Meanie Boy wouldn't let anybody get killed, anyway!" Daisy agreed, setting the bouncy mouse on her shoulder as she got to her own feet. "He's not really _mentally available_ for that stuff, if you know what I mean. Ooh, a penny!"

"What's this about a mountain?" asked a small, gray bird, fluttering down to land on top of Cobalt's head; she tilted her own to the side in confusion, almost falling off in the process. "Just what _have_ you been doing, Cobalt?"

"He broke the mountain," Phlash explained, beginning to foam at the mouth for some reason. "And there were rocks phalling, and a phlying pink thingy, and people kept getting smushed into yummy burgers, and there was a horny cow. And a machine thingy, I think. Oh yeah, and he broke a city bephore that. I lived there, and my whole phamily probably died, but that's okay, they woulda phried."

The bird's eyes widened in sympathy. "Oh, that's _terrible!_"

"It'd be a great way to die, though!" Phlash went on rabidly. "Sizzling in your own oils and phats! You could eat yourselph, probably! It'd be a really yummy way to kill yourselph, although I wouldn't know 'cause I'm still alive, mostly!" She grinned, foam dripping from her fangs.

"Really?" the Starly asked weakly.

"You'll get used to it, Rae," Cobalt assured her pessimistically.

Leaf watched them shrewdly. _Oh, he has a Starly, does he? Suspicious ..._

"You're strange," Daisy giggled at him. "So, are you all planning on entering the Contest? Oh, of course you are, that's why you're here, right? Three PM tomorrow afternoon, and I'm the MC!" She beamed vacantly.

"Contests?" Leaf and Roark exclaimed in perfect unison. "Ugh! You're not serious, are you?"

They blinked simultaneously in surprise; realizing what had just happened, each turned their back on the other, scowling in a "this-_so_-does-not-mean-I'm-agreeing-with-you" sort of way. The Pokedex snickered, filling its once-every-five-minutes quota.

"Well, yes!" the blonde young woman exclaimed, still giggling rather creepily. "Because everyone loves Contests, they're full of pretty people and pretty Pokemon and pretty prettiness! And besides, why would you come to the Contest Hall if you didn't?"

The two turned their attention to the building, which they had not examined previously, and groaned upon taking in the sight of a large structure reminiscent of a stadium; the broad dome-like structure glimmered a simple white, though the banner hanging over the double-door entrance stood out in a curve of golden fabric, screaming the words "CONNTEZT HELL!"

"Isn't it _gorgeous?_" Daisy gushed, mistaking their repelled expressions for ones of awe; she didn't notice that Roark was quietly slinking around the corner, looking nauseated at the sight as he disappeared abruptly from the scene. "I helped write the banner, and so did Violet, and Lily too! But Violet made a teensy error up there, because everyone knows that Contest is spelled with a 'Q'!"

"Yeah!" the Pokemon on her shoulder chirped agreeably, dribbling in an infantile manner.

"Well, I have to go," she said, grinning at everyone and not seeming to notice that they were all staring at her in disbelief. "Someone messed up the wires so that the microphone blinds you and the lights make your voice loud when you talk to them ... actually, that might've been me, so I should be the one to fix it, you know, and make it all better! Toodles!"

With that, she skipped merrily over through the doors of the Hall and out of sight.

"She has issues," Rae commented, glancing around as if Roark were about to pop up again at any moment.

"Yeah." Cobalt nodded, looking dazed. "She's really sexy, though."

Gina rolled her eyes. "Don't be weird. Cobalt, were you running after that 'it' thing again? It gets really annoying after a while."

"But I wanted it ..." he complained almost childishly.

"I know, but it's still weird, seriously ... anyway, the grunts are digging back at camp and I think they've found something, they've been trying to get it out for the last couple hours and—"

"Gina!" Cobalt interrupted warningly.

"What?"

_"You are talking about our plans within full hearing range of the enemy!"_

She blinked. "... Oh yeah."

"You have to tell me _away_ from everyone else," he told her in a voice of forced patience, as he started to walk away, pulling her after him. "And make sure they _can't_ hear, honestly ..."

As they began to leave, Leaf forced back a sigh. She really hadn't expected their interactions to end on such an anticlimactic note; rather, she'd been looking forward to some sort of epic battle somewhere down the road, full of rivers of lava and anime-style hollering and random beam attacks against a Convenient Backdrop of Lightning™. _Wait, "looking forward to"? Where did_ that _come from?_

"Leaf?" He paused, looking back at her.

She brightened up: maybe he'd start the epic battle right now, although "epic" would be a serious stretch at this point. "Yeah?"

"Did you seriously release the Lapras? After you found out it wasn't shiny, I mean?"

"Yeah ..." she answered cautiously.

"Excellent job, then!" He swiveled around and placed a hand on her shoulder; she gaped back at him, too astonished to respond. "That's the way a _serious_ trainer would do it. None of this 'I-love-you-for-who-you-are-not-what-you-are' crap, or else you might as well be a Coordinator!"

"Hey!" Lightning protested, but Cobalt, ignoring him, had already turned around and headed off again, with Rae fluttering on his head and Phlash snapping at his heels. Gina, who had been rolling her eyes at his behavior, waved at Leaf merrily before following them, soon turning a corner and vanishing from sight.

Leaf gazed after them, her hand unconsciously reaching up toward the shoulder Cobalt had touched. _He didn't lecture me about it? He_ approves? _Does that mean ... does that mean I'm turning into someone like him?_

She had absolutely no idea what to make of that thought.

The larger cat, who had been silent up until this point, looked up at her. "You're a trainer? Do you know anyone with a Persian?"

The odd question took a moment to register in her brain, but when it did, she blinked in surprise. She turned to the cat, a pale cream-colored Pokemon whose large, round eyes stared back questioningly. "Er ... no," she answered, frowning slightly. "Why?"

The cat's shoulders hunched sadly. "I'm waiting for my mate to return," she admitted, looking downcast. "He usually returns every few weeks or so, but I haven't seen him in a couple of months, and I'm worried that ... that something's happened to him." Her eyes flicked to the other cat, who was chasing her own tail playfully. "I was so looking forward to introducing him to our daughter ..."

"Mom's told me about him," the daughter piped up cheerfully, reaching up with a small paw and scratching one of her black-and-brown ears. "He's the most amazing Pokemon _ever_ ... he's flown on some of those metal birds that roar in the sky, and encountered powerful foes with his trainer, and fought really bravely all the time ... I've wanted to meet him for ages."

Leaf shrugged. "That's cool. I might end up meeting his trainer, I dunno, this crazy stuff that's going on could take us anywhere ..."

The mother's pointed ears pricked up. "Really?"

"Ooh, ooh, Mom, you know what I should do?" The daughter, leaping to her paws, bounced around her parent excitedly, the brilliant golden charm on her head glinting with an erratic rhythm. "I should go with her, Mom! And we can probably find Dad sometime, and I can get big and strong, and go on wild adventures, and hopefully not get caved in on like we just did. Can I, Mom? Please?"

Leaf blinked. "What?"

"Oh, sweetheart ..." The numerous whiskers on her mother's head stiffened. "It's a dangerous world out there. Your father is very lucky to have such a strong trainer to guide him ... and this girl released a Lapras because of mistaken identity. She admitted it just now! I don't think you could be very happy with somebody like her being critical about your every move."

"Hey!" Leaf protested indignantly. "That's not fair, now! It was a _lot_ more complicated than that, I didn't want anything about her influence ruining my team, and she was the reason we were getting chased all over the region, anyway."

"See, Mom?" the younger cat asked triumphantly, beaming up at Leaf. "She agrees with me!"

"Wait, I didn't say _that_—"

_"Y'know, it's probably a good idea to know what you're catching_ before _you catch it, you know? The identity thing all over again, right? And this doesn't just apply to Pokemon, for your information. It's also very useful with dealing with other lovely little things, like sexually transmitted diseases."_

"What the hell, Pokedex—"

_"I love you too. Meowth, the SHIIIIIINYYYYYYYY Pokemon. Gender is Female, for both of the buggers. Height is Take Home The Cute Wittle Kitty, Weight is It's Eating Us Out Of The Damn House! These are kitties who live the night life, do anything for cash, and are_ real _good with their claws. Yes, the dirtiest idea that popped into your head was the one I was aiming for. Anyway, a Meowth can, with time, be trained to convert its love for shiny stuff into an offensive technique all of their own: they toss coins at the bastard facing them. Question is,_ where do they get the cash? _With careful consideration you will find that the answer is evident, dear friends. THEY'RE ALL BANK ROBBERS, DAMMIT!"_

Leaf facepalmed. "Pokedex ..."

"It's right, for once," Peach piped up, glaring at the two Meowth. "They're a breed of pure evil. They'll steal Lightning's soul for sure."

"_I don't remember vouching for_ you _either, shorty,"_ the Pokedex replied smarmily.

"Sweetheart," the mother said, pointedly ignoring both mouse and machine, "it'll be dangerous. Even your father admitted that battles can turn very nasty, and if you were really outmatched—"

"But he was still around to admit it, right?" The daughter looked her mother in the eye with a determined air. "And really, would he want his only kitten to live an alley life? It's fun sometimes, sure, but what about when the Rattata get too hungry and try to corner you? I still get the shivers thinking about the last time. I don't wanna be somewhere with buildings boxing you in until it's too tight to breathe. But a place where there's rustling trees, soft winds, visible horizons, and a scent of freshness always there ... _that's_ where I wanna be."

Her mother, looking touched by the heartfelt explanation, cocked her head to the side thoughtfully.

"I'd let her go, if I were you," Fystor commented; everyone jumped, having forgotten she was there. "Fate's got a hand in this somewhere, count on it. Trainers and Pokemon don't just cross each other randomly, and this trainer practically _jumped_ on you. And it works both ways," she added, her gaze flicking sideways to Leaf. "You couldn't handle a 'cancerous' Pokemon, as you harshly put it. Why not settle for a fully 'honest' one? Consider it redemption for ditching the Lapras. You'll have to get off your high horse sometime, and now's as good a time as any."

With some sort of compelling magnetism, Leaf's eyes met those of the young cat. It was strange ... she had never considered Meowth to be cute, though it was a far cry from ugly as far as her opinion was concerned. But there was a certain charm in the cat that seemed to illuminate her whole being, taking her words and giving them life, giving them _meaning_. _She reminds me of me!_ she realized suddenly, as an image of her mother gazing out the door after her flashed across her mind. _I was so thrilled to finally be on the road ... damn, was it really only a week ago?_

"Please?" the cat asked again.

She sighed. "_Fine_. But only if your mom says you can."

The mother's whiskers drooped. "It's your dream," she told her sadly. "I don't have any right to prevent you from walking that path." She lowered her head to groom her kitten's head with a rasping tongue. "But promise me this," she murmured. "Be the best you can be. Show the inner potential you could never show here. Aim for the sun: even if you miss, the moon's close by, and it's no shame to be there. And search for your father, and meet him when you do."

She nuzzled her mother's side. "I will, Mom."

Leaf pulled a spare Poke Ball from her belt, almost absentmindedly; the scene was so touching that she didn't even point out that she'd gotten the quote wrong.

"And stay safe!" the mother called, as her daughter stepped toward the girl, looking eager at the sight of the red-and-white-sphere.

She nodded, hardly glancing behind her. "I will, Mom. Don't worry."

Leaf almost asked her, "are you sure about this?", but realized in time that this would be a useless question, considering the Meowth's constant nodding and begging to be off on a journey of her own. So instead she took a deep breath, smiled at the cat, and declared, "Well, just so we get the formalities out of the way, I'm Leaf. You should know your own trainer's name, right? And welcome to the team ... Parvati."

The young Meowth beamed at the sound of her new name, baring pointed teeth in a delighted grin. The smile was infectious: Leaf couldn't help returning it as she tossed the Poke Ball at the cat, who let herself be sucked into it without a struggle; it didn't shake even once before letting out a _ping_ of successful capture.

Her mother's shoulders hunched in sorrow. "Promise me you'll take good care of her," she begged, gazing up at the girl with wide, moist eyes.

Leaf nodded solemnly, knowing what this meant to her. "Count on it."

Peach sniffed haughtily as the Meowth dejectedly padded away, vanishing from sight as she turned into an alley. "Evil little devil-spawn," she muttered, echoing the sentiments of the age-old rivalry between cat and mouse. "_This_ is the cancer right here, not Paris. 'Cause at least Paris wasn't a sneaky, slit-pupiled _feline_."

"Hey, don't be like that," Lightning chastised her; he might not have understood her exact meaning, but the attitude behind her hiss loomed crystal clear. "Cats have feelings too. Maybe they _do_ eat Pichu when they can, but Pichu sometimes eat those fruity whaddya-call-'ems ... Cherubi. Yeah, don't you guys nibble on those?"

"They're bigger than me," she protested weakly, unable to hide the guilty look on her face.

Tearing her gaze from the space which the Meowth had just vacated, Leaf shot a look at Fystor. "Did _you_ have anything to do with this?"

Fystor's expression was the picture of innocence. "With what?"

She sighed. "Don't give me that."

"Hey, don't get uppity about it. I gave you a freaking _cushion_, girlie. _And_ you got a new Pokemon out of it. In any case, when I said Fate had something to do with it, I wasn't kidding around. I'll bet you my last particle of aura that the Twins were behind _all_ of those people running into each other at once."

A blank blink. "Twins?"

Fystor facepalmed. "Dear Arceus, did you _ever_ look at the Word?"

"Well—"

"This is utterly ridiculous. How in hell am I supposed to work with someone who doesn't even know her legendaries?"

"I _do_ know them! There's Groudon and Kyogre—"

"I'd go after your History teachers with a knife if you didn't know about _them_," Fystor said, brushing the protest off idly.

"—And Arceus, Shaymin, er, Mew—"

"Naturally."

"—Secloven—"

"Humans _would_ remember him."

"—Ho-Oh—"

"Too many sightings. I _told_ him not to pull those stunts, but no, he shouldn't have to listen to _me_."

"—Moltres ..." She smiled slightly as she said the name: the mythic fiery avian was her favorite legend. "Regirock, Regiground—"

"Doesn't exist."

"Damn. Er ..." She fidgeted slightly, racking her brains. "Suicune—"

"Should've realized I'd be dealing with a _Suicune Safari_ fangirl."

"Hey, that show is awesome!" Leaf scowled at Fystor's uninterested expression.

The legendary sighed. "Of _course_ it is. We all know how _fascinated_ you are with giant blue wolves — as opposed to that Mystical Man host, what's-his-name, Enigmatic Eusine, and his other atrocious alliterations. See, you just got hearts in your eyes! I didn't come here to tell you about your quest just to watch you squeal over idiots!"

"He's a _gorgeous_ idiot," Leaf drooled.

Fystor snorted in disgust.

"I dunno what else," Leaf murmured, still in a daze. "Oh wait, there was ... yeah ... there was some weird thing, Giratina, I think ..."

The woman raised an eyebrow. "That's strange."

"Why?"

"Giratina's not mentioned much, even in the Word," she explained. "And you're woefully uninformed when it comes to the Word." She tilted her head to the side, hawk-like. "Why is that?"

Leaf shrugged. "I heard Mom talking about it one time, over the phone."

"Interesting." Fystor's eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

_"I swore by it once, too,"_ the Pokedex chimed in helpfully. _"Remember?"_

Everyone ignored it.

"Well." Leaf yawned; the events of the day had drained her in almost every possible way. "That's all the legends I know."

"..."

"What?" she asked defensively, shrinking back slightly from Fystor's sudden, murderous glare.

"Er," Lightning said, speaking up for the first time in a while. "Leaf, somehow I think it's ..."

_"What is it?"_ she demanded, swiveling around to glare at him.

He blanched; it didn't seem possible that he'd ever get used to her sudden mood swings. "The thing is ... Fystor's a legendary too," he told her in a small voice.

"... Oh."

Fystor's nostrils flared angrily, like a bull's; Leaf cringed automatically, though she had a vague idea that if Fystor had been _really_ angry, Vember's job would be done in the blink of an eye. Still, even she knew that an angry legendary needed to be appeased.

"Er ... sorry?" she tried feebly. "I kinda forgot that ... that you were a ... er ... sorry ..."

Fystor shrugged, opting not to graffiti the Contest Hall's wall with a Leaf-shaped smear. But all the way to Bill's cottage, which the teens had decided to return to as it was a convenient place to spend the fast-approaching night, not one word escaped her lips about the eavesdropper.

* * *

He hadn't _meant_ to listen in on their conversation. He hadn't even meant to leave so suddenly, without notice. But the meaning of those words, no matter how ridiculously misspelled ... he'd intended to search for it yesterday, to stand in the center of the arena and gaze up at the seats staring silently down at him from the circular stands surrounding him, with a glorious vision that someday, soon, he could hear their cheers as the soft fabric of ribbon was pressed into his hand by the beaming MC ...

Another wave of nausea swept over him at the thought. His stomach turned over, and he automatically leaned toward the decorative bush twisting against that infernal Hall's marble-white wall; but it had already been painfully emptied. Only a dry heave rasped from his mouth. He tried not to think about what they would say if they could see him now. _Weakling. You can't even get a grip on yourself. What kind of miner_ are _you?_

It was clear, now, how terribly taken in he had been by the dream, if a dream was indeed the cause. That he had cheerfully aimed for a goal which nearly everyone he knew would shudder at, and almost sold his soul (metaphorically) to a life of coordinating ... the full impact had somehow struck him at the sight of those large capital letters. Well, it's said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach ...

Sweat glistening damply on his forehead, he collapsed on his back, peering blearily at his helmet, which he'd tossed off. From this perspective it was upside-down, beneath a sky of sun-dried grass. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, which made him feel a bit better. But the comforting darkness couldn't muffle the cacophony of warring thoughts within him ...

_Why?_ he wondered. It was the only coherent bit he could pick out; the rest roiled in confusion and astonishment and suppressed fury. Yet it spoke for the entire hellish choir: _Why did she abandon the Lapras? Why is a legend appearing to_ her? _Why did I come here? Why did Dad—_

The raw thought was swallowed by the horrific memory, and he choked back a scream, holding his face as if he could somehow push it into the blackness from whence it came. It was important, he knew, that he'd escaped the scene. In the clinking dark of echoing caves, where a wrong move could collapse a tunnel and where undiscovered creatures lurked in the shadowy corners, a miner develops a keen sense of danger and survival. The same case appeared here, though the brightness of day illuminated the scene, and the danger threatening him back home was infinitely more lethal and subtle than anything in the mines.

Because a sole witness was laughably easy to kill.

_CRUNCH!_

He spun onto his stomach almost instantly, eyes briefly unfocused as the sudden movement disoriented him. Climbing unsteadily to his knees, his heart almost froze as he watched as the scene resolved itself into a very familiar gray Pokemon, getting to her feet and muttering to herself as she rubbed her domed head.

"Those buggers. It's useless, jumping. It's not going to _help_ them, dammit!"

"Anni!" he exclaimed, exhaling in relief. "Anni, what the heck were you thinking? You can't just ..." He peered up at the sky, tilting his head up to look at the possible sites she had used for takeoff; the sun glinted blindingly against his glasses as he did so, and he winced at the light. "You can't just jump off a building!" he said, automatically picking up a scolding tone. "You could've _broken_ something!"

"I did," she replied, looking down at the small crater formed in the sidewalk from her head's impact; cracks spider-webbed from it like electricity. "But I had to land _somewhere_, you know—"

"I didn't mean the _sidewalk_," he interrupted, "I meant _you_. What if your skull had ... had fractured ... er ..." He trailed off as he realized how ridiculous this concern was.

As if reading that thought, Anni snorted. "Yeah, because having one of the toughest heads of all Pokemon puts me in _serious_ danger of cracking my skull open. Somehow, I don't think you guys would've named us 'Cranidos', after our fricking _craniums_, if you weren't pretty sure that our heads are rock-solid."

"Literally." He couldn't stop himself.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Ha ha, _very_ clever. Anyway, what're you doing here? It's the fricking Contest Hall!" She sneered up at the dome looming above them.

He turned slightly green. "I know."

She turned her disgust to the nearby bush. "Ick. Yeah, I guess you do, right?"

"Mm. Where's Skipper?" He pushed himself to his feet; the world spun briefly around him as he steadied himself, putting his helmet back on. He was acutely aware that she was giving him a look of wary concern, as if worried he might reenact yesterday's fall.

"Angsting over on the beach. He's got his head pointed at the horizon, where the Lapras was headed — he woulda swum after her, but his scar started acting up, you know. Got his shoulders hunched, kinda droopy. He was howling when I went to look for you. Very dramatic, actually."

They began walking down the sidewalk, both slightly disoriented; circumnavigating the glaring crater and soiled bush, Roark followed his short-heighted, short-tempered dinosaur away from the dreaded Hall. "He's been through too much," he said simply, opting not to add the fully truthful phrase, _And so have I_.

"Damn straight. Leaf ..." She shook her head despairingly. "What a bugger that noob is. I don't know _what_ she's thinking, but it's completely idiotic! Lapras don't grow on trees! And she was my niece!" Her beak twisted into a scowl. "Dammit, that girl ..."

He merely let her talk, passively brewing in his own silence. A sleek car — black with tinted windows, new by the look of it — purred passed them quietly, leaving a gentle breeze in its wake.

"What an idiot," Anni went on. "Almost as stupid as those Bagon. Morons. I was thinking about that one Bagon, the ass who kicked Skipper's necklace off. He looked stupid to me. They jump off _cliffs_ because they think it's flying. You knew that, right? I tried that, just now. Jumping off the top of a building, since there aren't a lot of cliffs in the city. And it's _stupid,_ seriously, it doesn't _do_ anything except give you a headache from hell. Why would you _jump?_"

He wondered just _how_ she had reached the top of the building, shaking his head at her curiosity over the nonsensical matter, before his thoughts returned to their recent track. _We can't afford to lose each other,_ he told himself, as a protective feeling for his dinosaur gripped him again. _We're all we've got left. We're just betrayed over and over again, we can't trust anyone else — Dad was the reason, and Leaf was the confirmation ..._

"Do they have a death wish, or what? Seriously, they're all suicidal freaks. 'Oh my golly gee gosh, I just _know_ that jumping off cliffs will make me grow wings someday, because I have the power of believing in myself! And if it doesn't work, there's no point in living, so I'll do it over and over again till my head explodes! Yay!' Retards."

_We're alone,_ he thought gloomily. _Not a single human to turn to; not even Jas and Col would understand. Well, of course not. They wouldn't believe that Dad could ... that he'd ever ..._ He swallowed hard. _Well. Granted, I probably wouldn't have believed_ them, _if one of_ them _had seen it ... but still, there's not even one person we can talk t—_

He froze in midstride, mouth gaping open as an obvious realization occurred to him.

"Of _course_!"

"Good, you agree with me. Everyone does. By the way, remember that theory that one scientist had about Bagon being descended from Cranidos? That's BS, dude. B-freaking-S. Because _we_ wouldn't have developed the ass-worthy idea that we could fly if we tried to make our heads blow up — hey, where're you going?"

But he stopped running down the street after only a few seconds, tapping at a random passerby's shoulder. _How stupid am I?_ he berated himself jubilantly, as the curious person turned around. _Forgetting my oldest and best friends ... so obvious, and I didn't even see it?_

"Excuse me," he asked, "but do you know where I could find an Internet cafe?"


	21. Crossing Paths: Part II

Apologies to any Bagon who might have been offended by the last chapter. Anni's opinions are not my own :P

Posting this earlier than I planned because Part One didn't end on a very climatic note. :o

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One: Crossing Paths (The Champion Meets His Match!) – Part Two

The tired sun poured blood-red light over the sands of the Cinnabar beach, on which the returning tide gently lapped with an unceasing rhythm. Over a distant sand dune floated the far-off echo of a malevolent yowl, followed by an agonized scream.

Then only the sound of the gentle waves.

The wind whistled in its lofty, violent currents, soft at first, but slowly and surely growing into a deafening _whoosh_ as a great fiery dragon dropped out of the sky, flaming tail whipping through the air in excitement as his mighty wings spread wide, revealing deep blue webs that stretched to catch the wind. Another thin, fluctuating wave of chaos rippled into existence in the air in front of him, turning a nearby worried-looking Wingull into a rubber duck, which squeaked stupidly as it fell; the dragon, however, sharply veered to the side, adeptly avoiding the chaos as he dived sharply toward the beach before swooping a few yards upwards, deftly avoiding a nasty collision. He hovered just above the ground for a moment, gently flapping his wings, before landing with a loud _thwump_ that scattered sand everywhere with a soft hiss. Twin streams of smoke curled gently from his dilating nostrils as he twisted his head around, black eyes gazing back at the lanky young man sitting on his shoulders.

"Nice work, boy," Warren said with a smile, patting the majestic beast's long neck; the Charizard grinned toothily back, dipping his horned head with surprising speed: the adrenaline — mixed with a bit of jumpy fear — pumped through the reptile's huge body with every heartbeat. And Warren felt it too, even though he'd never admit it.

_This is it._ The final, greatest challenge against an opponent of almost legendary renown, the battle to prove once and for all his right for the title of Champion, his status as the greatest trainer in all of Kanto. In a burst of silent excitement he leapt from the back of his dragon; sweat glistened as he tossed his long black hair to the side, landing catlike on his feet without so much as flinching. _The final hurdle._

With a casual, swift flick his wrist jerked toward his belt; five beams of light burst from their respective Poke Balls, condensing into the other five familiar forms of his trusted team. A hulking green-blue dinosaur unleashed a deep, earth-shaking rumble, red eyes glaring at the smoking form of the distant volcano as the tropical red leaves of the towering flower drooping over his back rustled gently in the breeze. Muscles rippled under the ocean-blue skin of an enormous bipedal turtle, who smirked confidently at the tension in the air; from the mysterious depths of his rich brown shell, twin silvery cannons appeared, peeking out from the holes near his shoulders like cautious gophers emerging from their dens. The fourth and final titan, a rotund beast splayed upon the sand without a care in the world, snored violently, his broad belly expanding as air filled his chest before he unleashed a lazy yawn.

In the midst of these massive creatures, the brilliant yellow mouse and the spherical, pink balloon-like thing were easily dwarfed; yet their eyes, shiny black and deep blue, gazed up at their trainer, their trust in him glowing like beacons in the impending storm. At times interviewers asked him why he never evolved these two, and his answer was always the same: the true trainer will never force the shape of his partners to change. At that point, he'd say, they cease to be partners and start to be just random animals trained to pummel other animals.

"It's time," he said, and the words slid in the empty air like coffin lids. There would be no going back, they said, as if sealing off any chance of escape. We fight to the death. Conquer the beast or die trying.

The Pokemon smiled at his concealed tension. They smiled because their trainer smiled, and when he smiled everything would be all right. They smiled because, deep within their secret souls, they were too terrified not to.

"Pika!" The electric rodent, jagged tail sticking upright, pointed over a distant hill, beyond which wisps of darkness curled in a snake-like manner. A dark cloud began to form, growling ominously; the shape was small, but not for long.

"Yes." Warren's eyes narrowed in concentration. "It's coming to meet us."

The smirk slid off Blastoise's face. Beads of sweat began to line up along his triangular head.

"Puff ..." The balloon's eyes widened even further, and the tuft of pink hair curling from his forehead bounced gently as he shivered in alarm. His catlike ears flattened against his head, and he instinctively reached for his trainer with tiny, stubby arms.

His smile returned, a soft one this time. "It's okay to be scared, Jigglypuff. Admitting you're afraid is better than letting it eat you up from the inside until you can't move. Remember the Pokemon Tower, and the ghosts?"

"Jig." The balloon nodded timidly.

"The important thing is to stay true to your soul," Warren told the group at large, raising his voice as the wind began to pick up. "Bravery is what keeps us together when the hour is darkest ... and that is very, very important, boys. Because if we don't have each other, we don't have anyone at all ..."

And then, suddenly, the creature was there.

He couldn't remember it creeping down the hillside, or stalking silently toward him through sand that shriveled as its feet touched it, or the cloud seemingly multiplying into a nightmarish sky of thunderous crackling, or the gently moaning whirls of chaos distorting the scenery around them. But nevertheless it stood there, a skeletal being of ghastly proportions, towering over even Snorlax with its looming, somewhat spiky frame, from which blackness dripped like some incurable poison, pooling at its clawed feet in puddles of shadow. Yet it was clearly alive: the bones never scraped together with a painful creaking, but moved together silently, fluidly, like a snake tracking its doomed prey. And in the gaping darkness of its wide eye sockets glowed twin orbs, poisonously brilliant blue spheres that seemed to delve through the secrets concealed within the flesh, to burn through the protective layers of self until the helpless soul lay bare for the beast to examine at its leisure.

_"Yes ..."_ The glitch hissed in a tongue that could barely be called human, so twisted and sinister was the eldritch voice which shaped the words. _"You are the human, yes. I knew you would come, Creature of Order ..."_

The light of its ... were they eyes? They were in the right place, roughly the right shape, and burned with the right intensity of any living thing. And yet somehow, the term "eyes" applied to the unblinking globes in the same way that "journal" applied to a book which, over the course of harsh millennia, accumulated the endless recordings of holy men until the point at which the tales of light and darkness had at last been compiled into a thick book simply titled as "The Word" ...

The Champion stared back at the lit skull, his face a ghastly hue as the light fell upon his skin to coat it with a sickly blue. For the first time, a hint of dark fear crept across his expression, a fraction of the panic blossoming within his soul. He grimly lashed out at it, ashamed at the humiliating terror — not once in five years had he felt any obstacle to be too challenging, any problem unsolvable. _Stay brave,_ he whispered to himself. _Remember Jigglypuff. Remember Pokemon Tower ..._

_"There is power in you, yes."_ The creature hissed, a sound like metal being sharpened. Shadow curled like smoke from its scythe as it pointed at the human, who instinctively flinched at the sight of the lethally sharp edge. _"You are a human of standing. In a fair fight, you would undoubtedly defeat this chaotic ... after a long, unrelenting battle, but nevertheless ..."_

_It wants me,_ Warren realized slowly, and a fresh stab of horror tore a gaping hole in his resolve. _It wants to sway me to its side ... to follow its evil whims ... it's more than just a glitch, it has to be, remember the glitch at Route Twelve? At least that was a normal—_

_"You have gone far, and yet ..."_ The creature paused, and its sibilant words hung in the air like a living noose, more threatening than its appearance could ever suggest. _"And yet with me, you could go far ... farther than even your most fantastic dreams could ever take you."_

The rush of terror was a flood now, ringing shrilly in his ears. The hair along his arms, on his neck, stood to attention as goose bumps rippled down his skin. Somewhere, distantly, he heard a child's voice sing, a song remembered from a childhood long past, as a young, dark-haired boy looked out at the world with a glint in his eye and a dream in his heart—

_I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was ..._

_"Join me,"_ the glitch pressed on, _"and you will be the greatest human ever born to Order. You can travel to a land beyond regret ... beyond doubt, fear, pain, guilt, lies, nightmares ... your foes will throw themselves at your mercy. At my side, there is no need for restriction. The world is your oyster, and the pearl within at your fingertips ..."_

_To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause ..._

Out of sight, one of his Pokemon whimpered. He couldn't tell which one.

_"Come ..."_ It beckoned, its scythe appearing to curl in on itself as it did so. The darkness of its voice had a faint, mocking quality to it, as with a predator toying with its prey. _"You cannot resist my power."_

_I have to resist,_ he moaned inwardly, a single voice against the hurricane of darkness, of horror, of memories dredged up from forgotten swamps and dripping with agony. _Can't ... let it ... take me ..._

_I will travel across the land, searching far and wide ..._

Then, so quietly he might have missed it, a thought within himself whispered, _But you're already resisting, aren't you? You're not letting it order you around. Stick with the pain and you've already won._

A small light, even a light obscured by the cunning wiles of evil night, is nevertheless a light. With a rush of hope he felt his soul catapult from the chains of despair threatening to strangle it, felt a surge of warmth rush over his limbs as he knew the thing would never take his mind, his will, his heart ...

_Each Pokemon to understand the power that's inside—_

"I'll never join you! I'll die first if that's what it takes!"

The words reached his lips seemed to take centuries before they finally crawled sluggishly into his exhausted ears and brain. They rang out echoingly against the many bones of the beast, jangling against every rib like a dying howl bouncing from the sides of impassive cliffs, the only witnesses to the mighty fallen ...

In the sudden, blood-chilling quiet, in which even the wind had been silenced, the glitch returned his petrified gaze with a pair of orbs which, if one looked closely, were very slowly expanding ... the terror swept over him, more cutting in its return as he realized that noncompliance would never be painless ...

_"Very well, if that's what you wish."_

And the beast leapt.

* * *

"Okay, this is what we do. Jump him, check his pockets for loose change, stab him to ectoplasmic ribbons and jack the cash if he does, and bind him to our dark and unrelenting wills if he doesn't. Simple enough, right, Beast?"

...

"Beast?"

"Look, Ketsuban!" the Beast exclaimed, pointing in awe at something protruding from the stony wall. "It's a skull thingy! But ... weird. I think something screwed it to the wall. That makes no sense, Ketsuban, I mean, look at that! Why is that _screwed_ to the wall?"

"I don't know," Missingno replied tartly, waving a scythe distractedly. "Maybe because ... I don't know. It must've been screwed up."

"...?"

"That was a joke, Beast."

"Ohhhhhh. I don't get it, Ketsuban. Mm, still a joke though. Fufufufufufu!"

"What?"

"_Laughter_, Ketusban. That's how the Japanese laugh."

"What do the Japanese have to do with anything?"

"Well—"

"Shut up. Look, let's just put that stupid soul out of its misery already. Beast, _stop_ _poking_ _that_."

The Beast sulkily retracted its scythe from the skull's empty eye sockets. "I'm _Sherlock_, Ketsuban," it said with a hint of a pout.

"And _I'm_ Missingno, Beast. Come on, hurry, before he gets away!"

Their skulls peeped comically around the corner. A random enslaved soul shuffled along the darkened corridor in the other direction, throwing weak shadows that moved with strange fluctuations every time he passed another flickering torch. The faded trenchcoat hanging over his shoulders was his only distinguishing feature; the ghostly glow of his skin, together with his blank face whose features ran together like wax, made him virtually impossible to tell him apart from any other captive.

"Aw ... but look at him, Ketsuban! He's so sad and lonely!"

"Pfft. Yeah right, Beast. See him shuffling along, zombie-style? I've seen more emotion from a cardboard cutout. And even _that's_ got more purpose than he does now. Stop feeling sorry for the pathetic loser and help me get him!"

"Oh, silly Ketsuban ..."

Missingno shot him a glance, cautiously sidled behind the ignorant soul ... and paused. The floor beneath his bony feet trembled ever so slightly, but in his experience he knew that this could only mean bad news. Of course, he had absolutely no idea what sort of bad news this meant, but there was little point in sticking around to find out.

The tormented soul slowly turned his head, and Missingno, being a glitch, was hardly fazed when he noticed that the dead human's head had swiveled around a perfect one hundred and eighty degrees. What worried him was the way the soul's edges began to flutter gently, as the dead eyes stared unseeingly past the skeleton at something further along the endless corridor.

"Oh, damn."

"Ketsuban, wha—?"

"Shut up and run!" the glitch hollered, dropping all caution as he broke into a sprint down the hall; claws scraped against the stone with a screech as every step dug into the floor, but he ignored it, focusing every ounce of concentration into his run.

Ragged gasps burst behind him; evidently the Beast didn't understand that breathing was unnecessary. "K-Ketsuban!" a voice panted, echoing against the rocky walls. "Wh-, wh-, ... aaargh, why are we run-nning, K-Ketsuban? I thought we w-were g-g-gonna g-g-get the sad g-g-guy _hweeeeeee_—"

"I don't know! Just shut up and run, dammit!"

"Bu-uht if you don't know, wh-, wh-, _ow_ why are we _run_-ning _gahhhhh_—"

"I _said_, shut—"

A low, ominous rumble shook the very air around them. To the sides, the torches waved furiously in rhythm.

_WHUMWHUMWHUMWHUMWHUMWHUMWHUM—_

"Oh. Is that why, K-Ketsuban?"

"Sure." The sarcasm oozed from his voice.

The sound grew into a thunderous roar as a faint glow gradually crept past their running feet, casting long, bony shadows as it washed over them; without slowing, Missingno turned his head to see the source of the nondescript light.

"Oh, _shi—_"

The howling noise drowned him out, but if he'd had eyes, they would have widened at the sight that greeted him: a flood of screaming darkness, soaring down the corridor like a vampiric fog, easily gaining on them in spite of their impressive speed. Within the shadows, the forms of melted souls slipped in and out of focus, pulsing frantically with the light that had alerted him to the thing's presence; veins of brilliant blue glowed against the impenetrable black, thrumming malevolently.

His bones almost locked up in shock when a sudden fanfare blasted from beside him; swearing furiously, he snapped his gaze at the Beast, who was gently twirling a stray strand of chaos around its scythe. The indescribable non-substance blared the theme music of a well-known adventure film at an obnoxious volume.

"Da-da-da-DAAAA, DA-da-daaaa ... DA-da-da-DAAAAAAA, DA-da-DA, DA, DA! I _love_ this music!" the Beast exclaimed eagerly, as the dramatic notes reverberated off the surrounding stone like cheesy elevator music in a prison cell.

"TURN IT OFF, DAMMIT!" Relief that the sound was nothing important warred with adrenaline-fueled rage ... though the latter was completely metaphorical, as adrenaline does not exist on the spiritual level. "DO YOU _WANT_ TO GET US KILLED, YOU BASTARD? THAT'S NOT A BOULDER, ANYWAY!"

"But Ketsuban ..." The Beast tossed its head back in an eye-roll, still twirling the chaos strand as it seemed to fly on its feet. "But Ketsuban, it's the spirit of the thing, right? And what's more in the spirit of running for our lives than listening to Indiana J—?"

Snarling in terror, Missingno cut the Beast off with a sharp wave of his scythe. This action, while at first glance extremely barbaric, was actually what saved the Beast's (for want of a better word) life: hooking the lethal point around the strand of chaos, the glitch leapt nimbly into a nearby corridor conveniently ready for their escape, pulling the startled Beast along behind him. Half a second later, the deafening darkness plowed through the very spot they had jumped from, and as they gazed blearily up from their sudden pile their visions were filled with the ravenous black and the deathly light.

Then it was gone. The rumble slowly followed, its dying echoes bouncing darkly from the walls.

"What," Missingno muttered, his voice sounding eerily loud after the near-oblivion experience, "what was ..." He swallowed, a noise like dry sticks clacking together. "That thing, was it ... was it ... _him?_"

"I think so." The Beast shivered. "It's unlike anything I've ever seen, it's not ... _right_." It shook its head, trying to clear it.

Climbing to their feet, the two skeletons glanced cautiously around the corner, staring at the path down which the darkness had flown. Satisfied that it wouldn't return, Missingno slumped against a wall, rubbing his head with the back of a scythe. "Weird," he breathed. "What does the idiot think he's doing? Is he looking for _us?_" He couldn't suppress a shudder at the thought.

His Beast looked thoughtful for a moment. "I doubt it," it said at last. "Surely it has better things to do, like **Crushing** more sad people, or thinking dastardly thoughts, or controlling ... controlling our body ..."

They glanced at each other. If it was possible, they would have blinked simultaneously.

"The body!" The brief spell broken, Missingno had to stop himself from jumping up and down like a fanboy.

"It's ours!" the Beast squealed gleefully. "We didn't need to hurt that poor soul at all, Ketsuban, yay! Time to make a comeback, eh?"

"..."

"Oh, don't give me that look, Ketsuban. I've already told you, I'm on _your_ side now. Goodness, only you could have come up with an idea so deviously devious and sneakily sneaky, Ketsuban! I'm not nearly worthy of any such things, you kn—"

"Shut up, I need to concentrate ..."

The glitch deactivated his vision, as he could not close his eyes, for obvious reasons. Ignoring the almost tangible excitement wafting from his Beast, he let his awareness branch out cautiously, curiously, like a new tree slowly unfurling its leaves to the open air as the sun shines to welcome a new day ...

And suddenly he was rushing up, or out, or back, or possibly all directions at once ... he didn't realize he'd been bracing himself for a returning onslaught of pain, until he felt a faint tingling sensation spreading from the general region of his chest and pattering down his limbs. _They're_ my _limbs again, _he thought excitedly, and a powerful rush of some alien emotion burst within him ...

He waited for the return of control to come, eager to embrace the power it would bring ...

Nothing.

_Damn_.

_Ketsuban?_ The Beast's voice rang curiously in his mind, which he found strange, now, to think of as a part of his being rather than a place. _Hey, Ketsuban, where'd you go? Ketsuban? Ketsuuuuuuuubaaaaaaaaan ...?_

_Shut up._

_Ketsuban! You're heeeeeeere—!_

_I know. Beast, I don't get this, why don't I have—_

_I'm_ Sherlock, _Ketsuban_.

_Whatever. Beast, listen, I can't grab control of the body! It probably had something to do with Apolydon. Any pointers?_

He could almost _hear_ the Beast tapping its chin with a scythe as it pondered the situation. _Hmm. No trouble getting the body back, then? I'm not seeing any sign of him in here. Maybe when he left, he messed up our nervous system. Or something._ Do _we have a nervous system, Ketsuban? I don't really think so, because skeletons don't have them, and neither do ghosts, or sparkly chaos mess thingies—_

_We don't have nervous systems? That's a funny thing, because you're getting on my nerves._

_Ahahahaha. Er, fufufu. Good one, Ketsuban. Hey, are your—?_

Missingno missed the rest of the question: his vision suddenly flickered into a blinding montage of unfocused color, at the same moment that noise — real, honest noise, not the strange verbalization of thoughts within the mind — swamped his ear sockets with information. He felt his body convulse involuntarily as it sucked in a rush of life-giving oxygen.

_Oh, I'm home!_

"My apologies, foolish Ketsuban."

The breath turned to ice in his metaphorical lungs. Mind numb with growing horror, he let the scene gradually refocus into dark blue, scattered with white and marred by a column of color ... then the white patches became hazy clouds, drifting across a strangely peaceful sky, while the odd column organized itself into blue legs and a red midsection, tipped with flesh-colored bits and topped with a mane of black ...

The face of Warren stared back at him.

Except it _wasn't_ Warren's face. Something in the set of the jaw, the reptilian dilation of the nostrils, the marble-smooth forehead, bespoke that the being facing him was far older than the something-year-old heap of flesh that housed it. And those _eyes_ ... they burned an unholy, unnatural blue, glowing very faintly in the gentle daylight, but with an intensity of a sudden blast of ice, ready and able to freeze the soul until it cried out for the heat of unceasing fire.

"Ketsuban ... it was what needed to be done," said the thing inside Warren. The voice was human, but it carried a strange quality, as if its owner was finding it confusing to speak with a human mouth. "Your soul would not have understood the situation, my lieutenant. It would have rebelled against the cause, and perhaps even destroyed you. But my possession of your body has weakened the bonds that enslaved you. Now it is yours, Ketsuban, to deal with as you will ..."

A brief movement at the edge of Missingno's vision caught his attention; with numb confusion he watched six Poke Balls floating slowly, eerily, in a circular pattern, undoubtedly borne by the power of a chaos fluctuation. They shone with a dark purple light, uncannily similar to the aura which curled from the Beast's bones, floated closer together, in an almost occult formation—

And suddenly there was only one, fading gradually to black and blue.

"What I will soon do is for your own good." Without even glancing at the buoyant sphere, the thing used Warren's hand to snatch it out of midair; it glistened like a just-laid egg, looking sick and diseased. "The Pikachu managed to paralyze your body _just_ after I seized this human. The paralysis will remain long enough for the right people to contain you. You must be protected from _yourself_, Ketsuban, if you are to regain what is rightfully yours. I extend my apologies for it in advance. When I arrange your freedom, Ketsuban, search for me at the Indigo Plateau. No one will stop you ..."

The thing waved the free hand vaguely; a pair of clunky sunglasses appeared in his outstretched palm, and Apolydon slipped them over Warren's face, concealing the supernatural eyes they shared.

"... Because, Ketsuban, things are going to _change_."

Terror was not something that came easily to Missingno, a creature witness to countless nauseatingly horrific murders and guilty of most of them. Yet a sneaking hint of dread crept into his heartless self at the sight of the not-Warren's expression, the immovable purpose of its _being_ to enslave the entirety of souls. The world would be reverted to its glorified state of utter lawlessness, but — and here dread found itself mingled with fury and sorrow — _there will be no place for_ me _in it._

And then the thing was gone, but for the soft crunch of sand under sneakered feet.

_Was he talking to_ me, _Ketsuban?_ asked the Beast, sounding disbelieving.

_Undoubtedly._

The Beast sighed. _Oh, for the love of Mew. Who does he think he is, Ketsuban, honestly?_

_Oh, I dunno,_ Missingno replied testily, the sarcasm creeping back into his tone. _Maybe he thinks he's the Lord of Evil, the King of Chaos, the Prince of Darkness, et cetera, et cetera, and has this_ crazy _idea that he's got enough power to do whatever the hell he wants_.

_Silly Ketsuban, you know what I mean._

They were silent for a moment. The ocean lapped the shore in its eternal cycle, the sound of its distant waves roaring quietly. Overhead, a Wingull cried out noisily and then, perhaps due to some universal law of irony, dropped a foul-smelling gift on the skeleton's head.

_Eurgh!_

_Wingull used Present!_ the Beast exclaimed half-heartedly. _Fufufufu! It's super ... er ... super-effective ... hey, I'm trying to get a hold on this humor thing, okay, Ketsuban? Might as well get some laughs before we get utterly __**Crushed**__, right?_

_Beast?_

_Yes, Ketsuban?_

_Shut up._

_Ah. Yes. Sorry, Ketsuban._

More partial silence. A fly buzzed lazily around the Wingull's contribution.

_Beast?_

_Can't talk right now, Ketsuban. You told me to shut up._

_Yeah, well, un-shut up for a moment. Warren probably had all his Pokemon out with him, right?_

_The human? It's likely, Ketsuban._

_Mm-hmm. Makes sense, really. Adds to his sense of the dramatic, I suppose. The whole together-we-are-stronger-than-the-adversary thing. Got a glimpse of him when he came here to get his badge, it's the sort of thing he'd do._

_I know, Ketsuban, I know. Humans like that teamwork stuff. We're aaaall in thiiis togeeeether—_

_NO! NOT THAT!_

_Sorry, Ketsuban._

_Seven souls,_ Missingno muttered, ignoring the Beast's apology. _Seven strong, brave souls, all __**Crushed**__ at once ... that's where the weird Poke Ball came in, I bet. His power's just been exponentially boosted, damn him. And at the head of the Kanto League ... sweet Celebi, he'll be unstoppable!_

_The buffoon. He's a bit stuck-up, isn't he, Ketsuban ..._

_Hang on ... can you hear that?_

_Hear what, Ketsuban?_

But the noises grew louder, and they both soon heard it clearly ... the shouting and barking cracked like a whip. Beneath the steadily increasing volume of a wailing siren, footsteps pounded softly against the sand dunes. The engine of some nearing vehicle grumbled reluctantly.

_Oh. That. Pokemon Control, Ketsuban?_

A woman's voice rose sharply over the other noises: "Nobody get close to it! It's still dangerous!"

_Yeah, they are. Apolydon sent them, didn't he, Ketsuban?_

_Probably. Damn useful disguise, they'll believe anything he says. "Oh hi guys, I just conquered the evil glitch that's been terrorizing you for the last three days, it's lying over on the beach where I completely owned it, and pay no attention to the color behind the sunglasses, it doesn't mean anything."_

"Yellow tape, yellow tape, set a line up here, coming through!"

"You two, keep those civilians far back! The rest of you, follow me, Pokemon out in case it tries something funny. Blaine, get your Magmar ready for the choke-hold thing Warren suggested!"

"Righto, Jenny!"

_That bastard!_ Missingno trembled inwardly with sudden, red-hot fury. Above him, a random wave of chaos flickered into existence above him in perfect timing with his abrupt rage; worried shouts from the surrounding humans immediately followed its sudden birth. _That selfish, sneer-faced, two-timing, treacherous bastard! Apolydon!_ he clarified angrily, sensing the Beast about to ask. _He knows my weakness, dammit! And he went and blabbed it to them so they could "keep me under control"! He told them! He_ told _them!_

An ugly, red, duck-like face suddenly loomed in his vision. Blank-looking eyes peered above the puckered beak as the Pokemon lifted a clawed hand coated in a silvery glove; the metallic threads caught the rays of the sun and threw them in a skewed pattern across the glitch's bones.

_Damn it, he told them_ everything!

Cautiously, the Magmar lowered its gloved hand to Missingno's unmoving neck; with the cautious precision of a surgeon it slipped its fingers underneath the vertebrae and, after fumbling for a moment for the right bone, pushed the very top of his spine upwards while its thumb simultaneously pressed against the base of his throat.

With a last muttered "damn", the glitch twitched spastically and lay limp, drifting back to unconsciousness ...

_Hey, Ketsuban, as long as you're here—_

_Shut up._

* * *

_Shloopp_.

"Um ..." Lightning edged away from the mess coiled sloppily on his plate. "Didn't we have that last night?"

"Of course!" Bill exclaimed, scooping a large, chunky section out of the casserole and turning it down toward his own dish; it oozed from the serving spoon — _shloopp_ — like some primordial sludge, curling into a suspicious-smelling pile. "The nutritional value was so good, we can't let it go to waste!"

Leaf muttered something that sounded vaguely like "too late".

"So, you got your badge!" He plopped down into his chair, digging his fork into the mess in front of him. "This is your second one now, isn't it? _Excellent_ progress, if I do say so myself! You've definitely got it going for you!"

She nodded absentmindedly, picking warily at her casserole.

"D'you know what's wrong with Ocean and Fire?" he went on, as if to fill the silence booming in the darkening room. "They just grabbed their stuff and left. Not at the same time, but still ... seriously bad moods they were in. And Roark hasn't come back at all yet ..." He tilted his head thoughtfully. "Did something happen?"

"Possibly," Lightning replied warily; he didn't relish the idea of what Bill might do if he heard the incredible chain of events which had eventually lead to having a legendary Pokemon as a dinner guest.

The legendary Pokemon in question didn't even pretend to look interested in her food. "Too long to relate right now," she said, in a voice that promised no relation of the facts whatsoever. She seemed a bit uneasy, glancing this way and that with narrowed eyes as if tracking a pesky fly.

Even with Fystor's arrival, the table felt empty after the crowd for dinner last night. The shadows of uncertainty and self-importance, spreading from Lightning and Leaf respectively, were mirrored by the darkness creeping up from its hiding places as the sun vanished into the west. Even Bill, who had the social experience of a mothball, had noticed it. "What did you say your name was?" he asked the legendary, passing down the remainder of the casserole to the six Pokemon looking up at him from the floor; his Eevee bounced up and down excitedly in ravenous anticipation.

"I didn't," Fystor replied coolly.

"What da hell?" Peter yowled, effectively bringing that line of conversation to a halt. He flapped erratically off the floor, his mouth twisted into a disgusted scowl; bits of casserole hung at the ends of his fangs before dripping back into the dish. "I did _not_ evolve _twice_ just ta eat dis crap! Where I come from, even da _trash_ don't stand the trash!"

"This is the first and last time I'm ever agreeing with you." Peach made a face at the glop in the bowl; it seemed to squirm along with her.

"_This_ bit is okay," Dory muttered, digging a very small section of something that might have been a horseradish eight years ago. "But it's still disgusting. Lettuce, now, this stuff needs lettuce. _That's_ a food with proper nutritional value and taste, that is."

Parvati didn't reply: she was chewing contentedly, her eyes half-closed as she rolled the mouthful around with her tongue. Leaf found herself wondering what on earth the Meowth could have been eating to make even Bill's casserole seem like a delicacy. Even with such dog-like taste, however, she was very much a cat; as Eevee shouted something indecipherable, spraying gunk all over her face, she immediately lowered herself onto her haunches and began to wipe the stuff off of her face. _At least she has some sense of pride_, Leaf thought, smiling.

"Blech! Dis is madness," Peter muttered, spitting the remainder of the (for want of a better word) food; a white string shot from his mouth involuntarily, one end sticking to the tiles while the other stubbornly caught on his fangs. He muttered venomously as he tried to pull himself free, and a bit of purplish energy pulsed down it with the vibrations of his voice, causing the string to twang musically until, with a sudden tumble and a loud curse, he finally managed to pull himself free.

Lightning leapt from his chair, doing a cheesy victory pose and not noticing that he'd knocked over his glass. "Eureka!"

The Butterfree's eyes swelled furiously at him. "_What_ ya say 'bout mah mama?"

"I've got it!" he went on. "It's the _perfect_ appeal!" Squealing happily, he swept Peter into a hug; the bug's rage dissolved into incredulity as the boy danced around the room. "You're going to be _amazing_, Peter!"

"... Dat so?"

"I'll be back in an hour," Lightning told the others, heading toward the hall. "Maybe two. I just _have_ to practice this with him! You guys come too," he added, looking at Peach and Dory. "I bet we can whip up a strategy to seriously cream those other noobs!"

The mouse and the rabbit looked at each other, shrugged, and followed him out of sight.

Leaf waited until she was absolutely sure she'd heard the door snap shut before releasing Cheri; she didn't want the bee to be released any time Peter was in sight. The Beedrill glanced at the happily slurping Eevee, sniffed, and spread her delicate wings, fluttering towards the hall. "I've had enough excitement for one day," she said flatly. "I must build up my strength if I am to face the Butterfree. I'll retire to our room for the night." She flew out of sight, her soft buzzing growing fainter as she moved up the unseen stairs.

Frosti picked at a chipped floor tile as he watched her go. He shuddered as he felt his pulse jump again, repelled against his heart's incessant rhythm. _She knows how it is,_ he thought. _I can't tell Leaf, not after she got rid of Paris. She'll just think I'm weak. Well, Cheri'd think I'm weak too, but at least she can't abandon me ..._

Silently he got to his feet, padding softly away as the tense quiet blossomed behind him. There was something he needed to know ...

* * *

She didn't look around when he entered the room, but his heartbeat, rapid and anxious, alerted her to his presence. A few soft steps through the carpet later, he was sitting down beside her, and only then did she slowly turn her head towards him, removing herself from her attempt to find peace and relaxation enough for slumber. The moon bathed the two in a cold white light, giving them a ghastly appearance, as if they had just stepped from the deepest realms of the dead.

"Cheri?"

"Yes, Frosti?"

"What's it like?"

The Beedrill's ruby eyes narrowed as she watched her teammate. This was a question whose answer mattered a great deal to him: she could see the tension in his neck muscles, the way his claws flexed unconsciously, the nervous twitch of his flaming tail. He hadn't said it flat out, but his liquid black eyes, wide in curiosity and a slight touch of fear, spoke his unsaid worry.

"You mean evolution?" Cheri looked down, her eyes traveling over the lengths of her spears. They gleamed in the moonlight, a pure white almost vampiric, as if their very absence of color naturally warned of the blood they would eagerly spill. Apart from her distant clan, they were her pride and joy.

"Yeah." Frosti shivered, and the flame on his tail flickered with the involuntary movement. "Because, it's like I ... I don't know how to say it, but ... well, I don't like blood very much," he stated, looking rather awkward.

Cheri's antennae twitched in amusement. "Go on."

"Blood scares me a little, actually," Frosti admitted, lowering his head a little to look down at his dangling feet, as if ashamed to meet her gaze. "Whenever blood gets spilled, somebody's hurting. It's not like hurting in battle — those are just little spats, you know, not a fight to the death or anything. It's more like the blood is — is draining somebody's life from them."

"Blood _is_ life," Cheri cut in unexpectedly. "It warms us in the cold, it heals wounds, it ties you to family." She sighed as memories of her lost clan engulfed her in painful nostalgia. "It separates us from death. There is a reason it is known as lifeblood."

"I know," the Charmander said, nodding slightly. "But still, I don't like it normally."

Cheri raised an imaginary eyebrow. "Normally?"

"Yesterday," he explained, "when we were fighting on the bridge, you stabbed the Pidgey. There was blood _everywhere_. And when I saw the blood, I ... I _liked_ it. I liked the way it shimmered in the sun, like somebody had liquefied red diamonds. I liked the noise it made when it splashed. I liked the smell — it was deep and rich, and I really wanted to ... to drink it." He shuddered violently. "I probably would've if its trainer's shout hadn't pulled me back to reality. But I ... I felt like my own blood was rushing through my veins, screaming at me to go and lick up every last drop. I'm not sure how I resisted it, but I really don't think I'd be able to do it again." His head snapped back up, and he stared at the tall bug with wide, terrified eyes. "Cheri, I'm scared. I don't know what's happening to me. Did something like that happen to you before you evolved?"

_He is keeping remarkable control over himself,_ Cheri noted, watching the pulse on his neck jump into a much quicker rhythm. The way he shuddered again and swallowed hard suggested to her that the very memory of the blood spurting from beneath her spears made him salivate, made him thirst for it.

"Not the first time," she said finally, eyes narrowing thoughtfully as she recollection swam hazily to the surface of her mind. "There was fear then, and pain too, but it wasn't the same, not at all."

"What was it like, then?" Frosti gazed up at her, trying to change terror into curiosity.

"Like dying."

His mouth fell open in horror.

"I battled the school of Magikarp," she said, brilliant red eyes turning misty as she remembered the details. "I felt the sleep begin to spread through my body. I knew that our human and her blond friend would continue to delay if I did not nudge them to continue, so I forced myself to keep the sleep at bay and guide them up the path they needed to go. I tried to act ... hyper." She shook her head in disgust, as though being hyper was a Beedrill's equivalent to leprosy. "It did not stop the sleep from spreading, but it slowed it. We journeyed through the mountain, and as we did I felt it continue to creep through my veins, slowing my blood. I was angry at how helpless I was becoming, and when we fought the Rhyhorn, I launched myself into the fray in as furious a rage as I could. But it was a sleepy rage."

Her eyes closed for the briefest of moments, as if the soporific state affected her even now.

"My agility and judgment were sorely affected. A Rhyhorn is a fearsome beast, but in comparing her with the evil being in the larger cavern, I misjudged the danger she could still present. By the time I had realized my mistake, I had become stuck and unable to avoid her attack. Knowing there was nothing else I could do, I let go of all my control, let myself slide into the black abyss ...

"I don't remember everything that happened afterward. I caught snatches of noise, and I saw you a few times ... I detected a freed Beast ... but besides that, it seemed as though I had left the land of the living far behind ..."

Frosti frowned thoughtfully. "But that can't be right. You kept making noise and stabbing things. You were _hopping_ around. I don't think Kakuna usually do that, do they? But ... does that mean you lost your mind, after you evolved?" He shivered at the thought.

"Perhaps I did," Cheri agreed vaguely. "That's very interesting."

A moth fluttered just above her head; without even looking at it she snapped her spear up, goring the pest on its point.

"Evolving into a cocoon isn't like evolving into anything else," she went on, scraping the moth on the carpet idly. "It's more like a preparation for the final evolution, the one with more power than either of its predecessors could possibly dream of. Breaking free of my Kakuna shell was more of the normal sort of evolution, I believe."

Frosti's voice was soft, shy, terrified. "And how did that go?"

This time it was Cheri's turn to shudder. "Awakening — the rush of adrenaline, the return of my sense of touch ... after the sensory deprivation, it was nothing less than hell. Every nerve in my body was on fire. I tried to scream, but I needed air. I couldn't breathe. My heart was trying to burst out of my chest. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe!"

The terrifying memory whirled in her brain, and she remembered the darkness, the confinement, the fear ... the tightness in her chest, the longing for her father ... In the forest, all evolutions in the Beedrill clan were watched over by friends and family, guardian angels waiting for the damned soul to be freed from Hell ... but she was alone, and she knew it, and the suffocation was unbearable ...

_Can't breathe!_

"Cheri?"

She gasped. It was a long, ragged intake of air — cool, sweet, life-giving air, surely blessed by Rayquaza! — and it cleared her mind of the numb fuzziness that had overwhelmed her, of the memory that had sent her back into the darkest regions of Hell. Trying to get a grip on herself, she realized that she was shaking violently. She blinked, and her vision swam before her, blurring. _Am I going blind?_ she wondered almost timidly, and blinked another time, long and slow ... twin droplets of moisture coursed down her face and splashed delicately onto the carpet beneath her, like raindrops.

"Ch-cheri?"

Her head swiveled toward Frosti, who stared back at her in panic. His heartbeat thudded at a rapid pace, sounding like rhythmic thunder to her sensitive hearing. She could see her bright eyes reflected in his black ones, which shone with unshed tears.

"Evolution _hurts_," she whispered. Somewhere, in the part of her that belonged to strong, tough Cheri, instinct immediately railed against her words. _How can you admit to pain? Is that not the way of cowards, to let agony affect them? Stop being weak, you ... you_ Butterfree!

For a long moment Frosti said nothing, but only stood frozen, horrified. Then he suddenly threw his arms around her middle, burying his face into her side. Everything about him — fluttering heart, ragged breathing, shaking body — spoke only of pure terror.

"I don't wanna evolve," he moaned.

The instinctual sharpness instantly found itself swept away in the flood of empathy rushing from the depth of her heart — an aching understanding, a knowledge that he was perfectly in the right to fear this. Forgetting all her sullenness, she reached around and gently put her wiry arms around his body, careful to avoid contact with her spears or his tail-flame. _He's so small,_ she realized, as the warm body pressed into her cold-blooded frame. _So small, so innocent ... he doesn't deserve this pain._

"I don't wanna lose myself," he muttered, voice muffled. "I don't wanna turn into one of _them_. I've heard stories about it — Charmander evolves into Charmeleon, Charmeleon ravages its trainer, leaves him for dead ... if it doesn't eat him first." He took a deep, unsteady breath. "They've made horror movies about that, haven't they?"

"I wouldn't know," she replied dryly. "Where I come from, everyone would be amazed at the _wheel_."

He ignored her sarcasm. "It's not that they aren't _cool_, in a way. They've got awesome deep red scales, and this blazing fire that can melt steel, and a horn ... but is it worth it, really, if it means picking up what's underneath all that as well?" He shivered again.

_Ponder carefully before you answer,_ she told herself, gazing into the depths of his small, constricted-looking tail-flame; even with its diminished size, the fire still burned with a life that made the moonlight seem weak by comparison. _This is a large decision for him; he will take whatever you say to heart._

"Frosti," she began slowly, choosing her words with careful precision, "evolution is not a necessity. It's a _choice_. There are many reasons why you shouldn't, and just as many reasons why you should. _But_—" She added emphasis to the word, making sure he heard her advice clearly. "—They are only that: reasons, not rules. They cannot force you to do anything. Whether you evolve or not is completely up to you. Before you make a firm decision on the matter, listen to your heart. I'm aware it's a clichéd bit of advice, but believe me, a true warrior will always turn an ear to what their soul has to say. It will guide you to do what is right for _you_."

The Charmander took a deep, slow breath; his tail-flame flickered to normal size as he inhaled, and Cheri had to force herself to not cringe away from it. "But ... but what if Leaf dec—"

"Leaf is your human," she reminded him gently, "not your conscience. She can command you on the field, but your heart is your own."

"She could _abandon_ me—"

"Then the shame is hers," she said simply, looking him in the eye. "If she prefers glory in the League over your well-being, then so be it. You will be better off without her if that is the case. Our Code does not tolerate a system which forces its members to change themselves."

He sighed deeply. "I don't know what I'll do," he murmured. "I really don't know. It'll take some time, this decision."

"Don't rush it," she advised him, rocking gently from side to side. He was calming down, she could tell. She wanted both of them to fall asleep soon: the creature called Vember would surely find them someday, and they would need their strength. A vague memory of her early childhood floated dreamily to the surface of her mind, and she found herself crooning the lyrics of a gentle, flowing lullaby:

"_Watch the green of spring, my child, the green of spring,_

_And let the birdsong take you away_

_To a land where there is joy, love, there is joy,_

_And honor binds the land in sweet reward—"_

She faltered; the song seemed especially silly, now, after having heard the songs the humans sang, with their rhymes and half-rhymes. But she forced the thought out of her head: the rhythms were far too mechanical, she told herself, and their subject matter mundane and unoriginal. The forest, on the other hand, was the place of warriors ... and peace, she remembered, as Frosti sighed again, more gently this time.

"_Our destinies are intertwined, youngling, intertwined_

_Into a tapestry of the whole unseen world,_

_So close your eyes and witness the sight, new-hatched, the sight_

_Of happy endings and a tale of greatness to come ..."_

When Leaf and her new kitten came upstairs some time later, it was to find Frosti curled up in a ball beside Cheri, who had an arm draped protectively over her teammate; the bug still looked eerie in the moonlight, breathing the steady rhythm of the sleeping even as she sat upright, as if she were awake. But there was a difference in her posture, a relaxation in her spindly arms and shoulders, as if the tension within her had simply melted away ...

* * *

**karatekid:** yah i had a chalengr today

**karatekid:** and i beat him

**karatekid:** :)

**PrismaticMoon:** Hey, great job!

**karatekid:** :)

**Sarcasm_Flower** Good for you.

**karatekid:** yah he had a watsitcalld

**karatekid:** a turtel with bushes on it

**Natalie:** A Grotle ^_^

**karatekid:** yeah one of htem

**karatekid:** it bit my lucariou

**Alexander:** No wonder nobody takes you seriously.

**Salem:** I so knew you were going to say that.

**Salem:** Both of you.

**karatekid:** wat

*** Skiesofblue has joined #leag**

**Sarcasm_Flower** DEAR MEW NO

**Skiesofblue:** Misty, remember

**Skiesofblue:** our EXCLUSIVE celebration

**Sarcasm_Flower** -_-

**PrismaticMoon:** I don't want to know.

**Sarcasm_Flower** GTFO Falkner.

**Skiesofblue:** ;D

**Skiesofblue:** Wear that red dress

**Skiesofblue:** The sleeveless one that really shows off your butt

**Sarcasm_Flower** That doesn't even go with my hair

**Sarcasm_Flower** Douche.

**Sarcasm_Flower** Now GTFO

**Skiesofblue:** We won't even have to use the guest room

**PrismaticMoon:** I SAID, I didn't want to know

**PrismaticMoon:** :p

**Sarcasm_Flower** You're a damn pervert.

**Skiesofblue:** ILU too.

**Skiesofblue:** See you there

**Skiesofblue:** =3

*** Skiesofblue had quit #leag**

**karatekid:** wait what

**Natalie:** Gosh, that Falkner's odd

**Alexander:** This is NOT where you can chat about who you want to sleep with, Misty.

**Sarcasm_Flower** WTF

**Natalie:** o_0

**Salem:** LMAO

**PrismaticMoon:** o0;

**karatekid:** wat

**Sarcasm_Flower** Volkner, I swear to Arceus

**Sarcasm_Flower** I'M GOING TO FRICKING KILL YOU

**Alexander:** Caps.

**Salem:** Blame it on Falkner

**Salem:** LOL

**Natalie:** Their names are similar enough ;)

**PrismaticMoon:** They are XD

**Sarcasm_Flower** I'LL KILL BOTH OF YOU

**karatekid:** is that allowed in batles

*** onix92 has joined #leag**

**Natalie:** So violent :(

**onix92:** ILU Gardenia

**onix92:** "3

**onix92:** Marry me?

**PrismaticMoon:** ...

**Natalie:** ?

**Salem:** The perv thing is contagious.

**Salem:** ROFL

**karatekid:** is marrying alowed in battls

**Natalie:** I don't think so Brock

**onix92:** ;_;

**Natalie:** ^_^;

**Sarcasm_Flower** LOL Brock.

**PrismaticMoon:** Moving on o_0

**Sarcasm_Flower** How's the herding thing going?

**onix92:** Fine, but it's still a MESS

**onix92:** I'm on Jenny's laptop right now

**onix92:** I TOLD her I wanted to be on top of her lap, though

**onix92:** :(

**Salem:** LOL perv.

**Natalie:** That's ... nice?

**PrismaticMoon:** :/

**Sarcasm_Flower** Brock, you're an idiot.

**Alexander:** You're all idiots.

**karatekid:** wate y wud we be idoits

**onix92:** :(

**Salem:** Brock, you're doing it wrong.

**Salem:** For you it should be X(

**PrismaticMoon:** LOL

**Sarcasm_Flower** WIN.

**Sarcasm_Flower** The eyes thing is all Brock

**onix92:** You're all cruel.

**Sarcasm_Flower** Damn straight.

**Sarcasm_Flower** And you're oversensitive

**Sarcasm_Flower** Like your cousin :P

**onix92:** Which one?

**karatekid:** any1 want to here about the ghallengr

**Salem:** The force isn't strong with you.

**Salem:** I could be talking to any of you, BTW.

**Sarcasm_Flower** The nerdy one.

**Sarcasm_Flower** He was freaking out today

**Sarcasm_Flower** then again, so was I

**Natalie:** OMG he's okay!

**Natalie:** :D

**Sarcasm_Flower** SO MUCH DRAMA DAMMIT

**onix92:** o0

**Salem:** We just talked about the eyes thing, Brock.

**PrismaticMoon:** Indeed.

**PrismaticMoon:** Out of character

**Alexander:** Oh for the love of Mew.

**onix92:** Sabrina, you shouldn't be doing this to me

**onix92:** you're too hot for that

**Natalie:** We've been worried about him for a while

**karatekid:** any1?

**Salem:** ... Are you coming onto me?

**onix92:** I can't help myself "3

**Salem:** SILENCE. I KILL YOU.

*** Cranidos has joined #leag**

**PrismaticMoon:** Whoa, good timing.

**Natalie:** Hey, you're okaaaaaaayyyy!

**Natalie:** :D

**Cranidos:** Hi :)

**onix92:** Hey

**Natalie:** *hug*

**onix92:** thanks X)

**Cranidos:** ...

**Natalie:** It was for Roark.

**onix92:** Oh.

**Sarcasm_Flower** LOL

**Salem:** Rejected.

**Natalie:** Where've you been? We've been looking everywhere!

**Cranidos:** It's a REALLY long story.

**Cranidos:** I'm okay though.

**Cranidos:** Is Riley around?

**Cranidos:** I haven't talked to him in forever

**karatekid:** ok well the turtel like bit my lucario

**Natalie:** Yeah, let me phone him.

**Natalie:** BRB

* Natalie has left #leag

**Alexander:** You're showing your face in here again?

**Alexander:** AND you're encouraging a non-League member to use this chat?

**PrismaticMoon:** _

**Cranidos:** There's nothing wrong with it :/

**Alexander:** Of COURSE not.

**Alexander:** But if the HC poster boy wants to do it, who's going to stop him?

**Alexander:** Or was flaunting your "authority" your sole reason for returning to us mere mortals?

**karatekid:** bt then I was like 'DO YOUR TIHNG'

**Sarcasm_Flower** Shut up, Volkner.

**Cranidos:** Authority? Yeah right.

**Alexander:** Must your head be so thick as to not get it?

**Alexander:** Wait, never mind, it can't be. You wear that helmet because your skull's too FRAGILE.

**PrismaticMoon:** Ouch.

**Cranidos:** Heard that one before :/

**Alexander:** You're way overconfident in your standing with the League.

**Alexander:** Just because your father's head of the GLs and HC doesn't mean YOU're worth anything.

**Cranidos:** Don't talk about my dad.

**karatekid:** nd he did his scari aura stuff

**Alexander:** Protectiveness doesn't change anything.

**Alexander:** But then, it's true he's better than you are.

**Cranidos:** I SAID, DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM.

**Alexander:** Resorting to caps? Tsk.

*** Natalie has joined #leag**

**Natalie:** He's coming.

**Natalie:** Where ARE you, we've been so worried!

**Cranidos:** Not telling.

**Sarcasm_Flower** Here in Cerulean

**Cranidos:** I don't want HIM to know where I am

**Cranidos:** ...

**Cranidos:** MISTY

**Salem:** LOL

**onix92:** XD

**PrismaticMoon:** LOL

**PrismaticMoon:** Him who?

**Sarcasm_Flower** Sorry?

**karatekid:** bt then the turtel bit lucaroop

**Cranidos:** :/

**Salem:** You're doing it wrong

**Salem:** it should be 8/

**Salem:** while Brock's is X/

**Sarcasm_Flower** LOL

**Natalie:** ^^

**Cranidos:** Seriously!

**Alexander:** Look at you, wallowing in the attention.

*** Kenobi has joined #leag**

**Cranidos:** Ignoring you, Volkner.

**Cranidos:** RIIIIIILEEEEEYYYYY

**Kenobi:** ROOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRK

**Kenobi:** =D

**Cranidos:** :D

**Kenobi:** *hug*

**Cranidos:** *hug*

**Natalie:** ^_^

**karatekid:** hey wait riliy u have a lycariou rigt

**Kenobi:** Where have you BEEN?

**Kenobi:** We've been worried about you

**Natalie:** I said that ^_^

**Sarcasm_Flower** Cerulean.

**Cranidos:** :/

**Sarcasm_Flower** Hey, I already said it before.

**Cranidos:** Riiiight.

**Cranidos:** I'm okay, Riley.

**Cranidos:** Especially since I finally saw the light.

**Cranidos:** AKA ditched coordinating.

**Cranidos:** I missed you :(

**Kenobi:** Ditto that ;_;

**Salem:** LOL

**Kenobi:** *hug*

**Kenobi:** What's funny Sabrina?

**Cranidos:** *hug*

**Salem:** You two.

**Salem:** Acting like you've got it for each other

**Cranidos:** o_0

**Salem:** The hots, know what I'm saying?

**Kenobi:** .

**Kenobi:** WTF

**Natalie:** Awkward

**onix92:** HOLY CRAP IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

**Sarcasm_Flower** LOL

**Cranidos:** That's SO wrong

**Cranidos:** We're not gay.

**Cranidos:** At least I'm not ;)

**Kenobi:** *push*

**Kenobi:** Insinuating something?

**Kenobi:** Crazy digger.

**Cranidos:** Yeah well, you're a wise guy.

**Natalie:** ^_^

**Kenobi:** Pff, wise guy?

**Kenobi:** LAME.

**Kenobi:** *hug*

**karatekid:** bt rilsy ur licariou can do stuff right

**PrismaticMoon:** Sabrina, two guys can be awesomely close without making out.

**Cranidos:** *hug*

**Salem:** Oh really.

**PrismaticMoon:** Of course.

**PrismaticMoon:** Eusine and I are friends, but we're not in love.

**Salem:** I always wondered about that.

**PrismaticMoon:** :p

**Sarcasm_Flower** LOL

**Alexander:** Riley.

**Alexander:** You are NOT a member of a League.

**Kenobi:** There's no problem with me being here.

**Alexander:** It's not allowed.

**Alexander:** Get out.

**Cranidos:** Ignore him.

**Alexander:** Ah, Poster Boy speaks again.

**Alexander:** I wouldn't have thought YOU'D have a problem with kicking non-members out.

**Alexander:** Not with all you high-and-mighty Cobalts acting as if you ran the place.

**karatekid:** my lcuiwaroi can eat 5 hotdogs in 10 seconds

**Sarcasm_Flower** It's not like it's a club

**PrismaticMoon:** :/

**Alexander:** It's EXACTLY like a club.

**Alexander:** A Cobalt club.

**Alexander:** If someone's a Cobalt, you let them into the League.

**Alexander:** QED

**onix92:** Isn't that prejudice against us?

**Alexander:** What YOU'RE doing is prejudice.

**Kenobi:** Overzealous much?

**Sarcasm_Flower** If you've got a problem with it, maybe YOU should leave.

**Natalie:** You could just not argue ...?

**PrismaticMoon:** Yeah, you're ruining the general chill-out atmosphere.

**Alexander:** It's not where you "chill out".

**Alexander:** It's where we discuss whatever problems are occurring.

**Sarcasm_Flower** Right now, I think YOU'RE the problem.

**Salem:** Ditto that.

*** Godbrother has joined #leag**

**Alexander:** Hardly.

**Alexander:** I'm the only one here who takes anything seriously.

**Cranidos:** You wouldn't know a really serious problem if it punched you in the nose.

**Sarcasm_Flower** Warren!

**PrismaticMoon:** You're alive :)

**Sarcasm_Flower** How'd it go?

**karatekid:** hey warren u beat the gliche right

**Godbrother:** It was intense!

**Godbrother:** Adrenaline level 9000

**Salem:** LOL

**Godbrother:** It was a tough one, but you know.

**Godbrother:** Blaine and Cinnabar Jenny are picking it up now

**PrismaticMoon:** Was it creepy?

**PrismaticMoon:** I mean creepy by MY standards :P

**Godbrother:** Hell yeah.

**Godbrother:** Actually, it's kinda sad. They're insane, but not really evil.

**Salem:** Pfft.

**Godbrother:** More ... misunderstood.

**Godbrother:** Maybe if we just treated them like Pokemon, we could understand each other.

**Kenobi:** Understand a GLITCH?

**Kenobi:** Are you feeling all right?

**Sarcasm_Flower** He's smoking something.

**Alexander:** See, important stuff like THIS should be what we're talking about.

**Cranidos:** Shut up.

**karatekid:** were theyvnice

**Godbrother:** I was thinking we could ... loosen their leash a bit.

**Godbrother:** See what they're REALLY like.

**Sarcasm_Flower** I hope to Arceus you're kidding.

**Godbrother:** You wound me :/

**Natalie:** It's a scary idea ...

**Godbrother:** I'll just give it a try over here, right?

**Godbrother:** It'll be fine, trust me.

**Godbrother:** Gotta sleep now, I'm bushed

**Godbrother:** ttyl

*** Godbrother has left #leag**

**Salem:** ...

**Salem:** I think he's actually serious.

**PrismaticMoon:** Did the thing knock a screw loose in there?

**Sarcasm_Flower** It's WARREN.

**Sarcasm_Flower** He hasn't got any screws LEFT to knock loose.

**onix92:** LOL

**karatekid:** if their like gible then theyre scary

**Alexander:** Actually, this seems like an interesting question.

**Alexander:** Are the Cobalts strong enough to take them on if it fails?

**Kenobi:** There's really no reason to keep picking on the Cobalts :/

**Alexander:** What are you, brainwashed?

**Alexander:** They need to be taken down a peg, anyway.

**Alexander:** It'd do them good to meet their match.

**Cranidos:** It'd do YOU good if a large rock met your head.

**Kenobi:** *high five*

**Alexander:** You'll get what's coming to you, Poster Boy.

*** Alexander has quit #leag**

**Salem:** He's gone!

**Sarcasm_Flower** PARTAYYYYY

**onix92:** YAAAAAAYYYY

**Sarcasm_Flower**

**PrismaticMoon:** XD

**Natalie:** ^^;

**Natalie:** I'm glad you got over coordinating, Roark.

**karatekid:** whats so good goin on guies

**Natalie:** I was worried about that for a while :o

**Kenobi:** Ditto that.

**Sarcasm_Flower**

**Cranidos:** Yeah. I've got a funny idea about it

**Kenobi:** All your ideas are funny

**Cranidos:** :P

**Cranidos:** You're hilarious.

**Cranidos:** It's half past ten over here, I should sign off soon

**Sarcasm_Flower**

**Cranidos:** But DO NOT TELL MY DAD WHERE I AM

**Natalie:** Why not? He's worried sick :"

**Kenobi:** Yeah, you should've seen the bit in the news about it.

**Kenobi:** The reward had so many zeroes

**Cranidos:** I'm not a lost dog :/

**Cranidos:** I left for a reason, anyway.

**karatekid:** shud i like gibles or no

**Kenobi:** How come?

**Cranidos:** You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

**Kenobi:** Sure we would.

**Sarcasm_Flower** SCREW THE WATERFLOWERS, I HAVE MONEY

**Cranidos:** No. You wouldn't.

**Kenobi:** :/

**Cranidos:** *yawn*

**Kenobi:** Bed. Nao.

**Salem:** *eyebrow*

**Kenobi:** You know what I meant :/

**onix92:** LOL

**Cranidos:** :/

**karatekid:** i liek lucariosu :)

**Cranidos:** I'll talk to you guys tomorrow, k?

**Kenobi:** Count on it.

**Natalie:** Stay safe :)

**Cranidos:** I will.

**Cranidos:** Night guys

**Kenobi:** *hug*

**Natalie:** *hug*

**Cranidos:** *hug*

**Sarcasm_Flower** *CHAINSAW MASSACRE*

*** Cranidos has left #leag**

**onix92:** Sabrina, you're hot.

**Salem:** And you're a moron :)

**Natalie:** Why wouldn't he want to see his dad?

**Kenobi:** I dunno.

**Kenobi:** He was really shaken when I saw him the other day, though

**Natalie:** I can understand why :(

**Kenobi:** It's kind of a drastic reaction for Roark to run off from that

**Kenobi:** He's a tough character normally

**karatekid:** resly how many hotdogs can ur lucariso eat

**Natalie:** Losing someone like that'd do it, I guess :(

**Kenobi:** True, but it's a weird coincidence

**Kenobi:** And now Warren's tolerating the chaotics?

**Kenobi:** This can't end well.

* * *

_LXXVII. And the pretty sparkles didst dance before mine eyes, yea, they danced according to the love and great mercy of our Lady herself, for the joy to be felt in her presence shall cause even the serpent and the bat to dance in the dance of true love._

_LXXVIII. And Shaymin, who was also called Minnie, didst say unto me,_ "Ew, that's sick. And stop calling me Minnie, dammit!"

_LXXIX. And the mother didst chasten her daughter, saying_, "Hast thou no respect for the prophet? For he hath a strong soul to survive so many prophecies. Rememberest thou not the manner in which the previous prophet's brain didst explode?"

_LXXX. And I replied unto them, saying,_ "I hope you're kidding."

L_XXXI. And she didst say unto me,_ "I am Arceus, the Light and the Life of the world. And the Light which illuminateth the world cannot deceive it with darkness; wherefore, I lieth not unto any creature."

_LXXXII. And I didst fear for my life, and, moreover, my brain, which I have come to value exceedingly for obvious reasons._

_LXXXIII. Now there was a great light, and Fystor didst appear in the midst of us. And she didst say unto me,_ "Your description sucks."

_LXXXIV. And her sister didst become exceedingly wroth, saying,_ "What the hell, Fystor? It's been two mothertrucking days, and you _still_ haven't told the chick? We don't have all century, geez!"

_LXXXV. Whereupon Fystor replied,_ "She's being a retard, shorty. Now chill out and shut up while I tell what happened down there. Long story short, she ditched her Lapras and is currently being a stone-hearted ass about it, which isn't helping since the Champion's soul just got ripped apart when dear old Appy went in to possess him."

_LXXXVI. And I wast exceedingly surprised, saying,_ "What? But isn't she supposed to be the hero or chosen one or something?"

_LXXXVII. And Minnie said unto me,_ "Nobody's perfect, you idiot. Even a bloody prophet should see that. And STOP CALLING ME MINNIE."

_LXXXVIII. And Arceus said,_ "We shall have to inform her soon, for the time is running short. Hast thou not even told her of our cohorts in Orre, and of the part which she and her sidekick must perform?"

_LXXXIX. And Fystor didst say unto her mother,_ "No. But look, the situation's even more urgent than we thought. Our suspicions of traitors are reasonable, since Vember's on _their_ side."

_XC. And the others didst gasp in astonishment and horror, as Arceus said,_ "Wast not Vember among the most trusted of the angels? If she hath betrayed us, then why should the true legends not go to the Lord of Evil as well?"

_XCI. And Fystor didst shake her head, saying,_ "I never would've thought _she'd_ turn on us. She was my favorite kid ..."

_XCII. Then Minnie said unto her,_ "Then why not just go ahead and tell the damn girl about the problem? And _STOP CALLING ME MINNIE, YOU BLOODY PROPHET!"_

_XCIII. Whereupon she didst send a great flock of leaves at me, which were sharp and shiny and wondrous to behold, yet didst also hurt exceedingly, insomuch that I cried out in pain, saying,_ "Ouch!"

_XCIV. But Arceus commanded her daughter to cease, which she didst do with much reluctance._

_XCV. Then Fystor said unto them,_ "It has to wait until she's humble enough to listen. Unfortunately for her, she'll be getting what's coming to her. Hanging around with those bloody Twins gives you a look into how Fate works, and I've got a funny feeling that she'll be hearing something bad pretty soon ..."

_XCVI. And I wast seized with a quiet fear, wondering how bad such news could be that even Fystor could find concern ..._

* * *

More Leaguechat names, because some people need reminding :P

Alexander = Volkner

Cranidos = Roark

Godbrother = Warren

karatekid = Maylene

Kenobi = Riley

Natalie = Gardenia

onix92 = Brock

PrismaticMoon = Morty

Salem = Sabrina

Sarcasm_Flower = Misty

Skiesofblue = Falkner


	22. Put to the Contest: Part I

Chapter Twenty-Two: Put To the Contest (Starvation and Preservation! Get the Ribbon, Lightning!) – Part One

As late dawn sparkled with the blinding radiance of jewels, the sunlight poured into the grimy kitchen, bathing it in a pale golden layer of morning. Coincidentally, yawning humans and Pokemon poured into the same room not long afterward, settling themselves around the table for breakfast.

When Bill approached with an oozing bowl and a beaming face, however, Lightning finally put his foot down.

"No," he said firmly, or at least as firmly as he could manage. "Look, Bill, this is the third day in a row we've gotten that stuff. You need to give us something else, or I'm going to leave."

Leaf's fork hit the ground with a clatter as she blinked at him, surprised at his sudden assertiveness.

The smile slid from Bill's face like casserole. "But ... but it's _good_ for you."

"Nutritionally, maybe. But _I_ can't see this stuff giving my Pokemon a glossy, healthy look, can you? Not to mention that I prefer food that _doesn't_ look back at me," the short blonde added as an afterthought, cringing.

The uncertain moment of silence that followed was broken by two cute squeals; Parvati and Eevee were gazing up at the bowl in Bill's hands, eyes wide and hopeful as their tails twitched hungrily. Peach, sitting on Lightning's shoulder as usual, paused in her adoring gaze at her trainer's "heroic" stand to sneer at the Meowth with as much revulsion in her eyes as a small yellow mouse could possibly muster.

"Well ..." Bill set the bowl on the table to rub the back of his head, looking uncomfortable. "Well ... er ... the thing is ..."

"You _do_ have more food somewhere, don't you?" Leaf tried to keep the snapping tone out of her voice, but the sight of the unappetizing gunk had stolen her appetite and, by extension, her patience.

"Ah — er, well ..."

"You _have_ a fridge," Roark observed, pointing into the far corner of the dank kitchen, where a tall, dirty white shape loomed quietly. Anni nodded in agreement, accidentally bashing her head into an empty chair. No harm was done, however: only a brief splintering sound was heard, leaving the chair looking almost whole.

"Er ... well, that's true, but ... um ... I've got important experiments in there," Bill stammered. "Like the coagulation of a sample of hydrogen monoxide, for one. Potential scientific breakthrough there, you know. Besides, this casserole's much more preferable to the ugly possibility that one of the young female workers at the supermarket will sneer at me!"

A cricket chirped somewhere outside.

"... I just said that out loud, didn't I?"

Leaf nodded, staring at him in disbelief. Fystor snickered at the stricken look on his face.

"Are you saying," Lightning said slowly, "that you're cooking awful stuff because you're afraid of _cashiers_?"

"No!" Bill replied fervently, eager to banish the misconception. "Nonononono, that's all wrong. The problem is that, while secluding myself from normal people in my effort to go as far as possible in my studies, I became ... what's the phrase I'm looking for ... socially dysfunctional. I REGRET NOTHING!" he added in a defensive, booming voice, causing everyone else to jump. "NOTHING, I TELL YOU! NOTHING WITH A CAPITAL 'N'! IT'S FAR BETTER FOR THE WORLD THAT I TURNED INTO A HERMITY SCHOLAR BECAUSE OF IT, RIGHT, BECAUSE OF MY AMAZING PC'S THAT ARE USEFUL TO EVERYBODY, BUT ESPECIALLY ME SINCE THEY'RE THE SOURCE OF MY WEALTH! AND NOW I CAN SIT BY MY AWESOME RADIO EQUIPMENT THAT ONLY I'M AWESOME ENOUGH TO USE, SO I CAN SCHEME LIKE A BAD GUY! EXCEPT I'M NOT, SO HA!"

"Um ..."

"I DID IT!" Bill went on, jabbing at the mysterious gadgets sitting mechanically on the counter. "IT WAS ALL ME, AHAHAHA! I DID IT! ME, ME, ME! I AM FINANCIALLY THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON ON THE PLANET, AND MAYBE THAT'S NOT AS GOOD AS PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY OR SPIRITUALLY, BUT I DON'T CARE, I'M ALREADY AT THE TOP OF MY GAME! I'M AS SHARP AS A TACK ANYWAY! THEY TOLD ME IT WOULD NEVER WORK, MY PC SCHEME. BUT IT DID! I SHOWED THEM! WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, EH?"

Frosti cocked his head at him. "Is this the part where you're more 'mad' than 'scientist'?"

Fystor smirked at the brunette's apparent insanity. The three teens just stared.

"I'M RICHER THAN THEM! I DON'T NEED TO FOLLOW THEIR NARROW-MINDED CONFORMITIES, NOT WHEN I'M ABOVE THEM ALL! THEY THINK THEY'RE SO COOL FOR BEING SOCIALLY ADEPT, BUT THEY'RE NOT, BECAUSE THEY'RE FOUL LITTLE PESTS! ALTHOUGH I LOVE THEM ANYWAY, BECAUSE I GET THEIR MONEY! I AM THE CHEESE, FOOLISH MORTALS! FUFUFUFUFUFU!"

"'Kay," said Eevee, gazing up at him. "He's either had too much coffee, or hasn't had coffee at all today. I'm not sure which ..."

"Maybe we should go," Leaf proposed, as Bill turned his whole attention to the stuffed Feraligatr on the floor.

The others nodded in agreement, quickly and quietly getting up and leaving the psychotic genius to his rambling, while his furry Pokemon moved deeper into the kitchen, sniffing through the mess on the floor as if hunting for a box of coffee beans. Even in the dark hall, where cracks spread across the wall like spiderwebs, his shouting still echoed around them.

"I think," Leaf said, in a voice that seemed to indicate she'd gotten the false notion that she could speak for the group at this point, "we should see how you're doing with your strategy, Lightning. And you," she said, turning to Fystor as the bird-woman pulled open the door, the sudden flood of sunlight illuminating the look of amusement on her clever face, "should finally get around to ..." She paused, glancing sideways at Roark, who alone was not part of this scheme. "... To giving us an explanation. Yes, of course. Because Arceus knows we need one."

They stepped out into the light, which seemed especially warm and delightful after the dank house with its mad scientist. Unlike the previous morning, humidity didn't permeate the air; no shimmering droplets of moisture glistened in the grass underneath their moving feet to indicate a rainfall the night before. Frosti beamed as the rays of light hit his face, and his tail-flame expanded slightly in response. He glanced over at Cheri, who looked very dramatic even in this ragtag band of misfits. Her body was slightly tensed, as usual, but one great ruby eye rolled in his directions and winked closed, just for a second. His grin widened at the subtle gesture.

"Yeah," said Anni, glaring up at the girl with squinting eyes. Few things are universal, but among those few is the mystery of how beautiful people can gaze in the direction of the sun without apparent discomfort while the less appealing people (by human standards, mind you) only end up comically blinded. "Yeah, and meanwhile I guess _we_ should just skip back off to Sinnoh and never look at your mug again, which is a gorgeous possibility for me at this point, and then not manage to survive long enough to regret returning afterward. Is that it?"

"Well, I—"

"Thanks to you, now I've got to keep _two_ bubbleheads from falling off a cliff!" the Cranidos snapped. "Or drowning themselves, or something. And that's only part of the whole thing. I was better off before resurrection, dammit!"

"That's enough, Anni," her trainer chastened. "I'm _not_ going to fall off a cliff, anyway. As for you two ... are you _seriously_ planning to go off with her? You don't have any idea what you're getting into here—"

"Hey," said Leaf, raising an eyebrow at him. "Does this mean you're talking to me again?"

"No! I mean ... um ..."

"Whatever. Look, this has absolutely nothing to do with you, so if you'd just turn around and leave, I'd be happy. We've got stuff to talk about that's really important, and you're delaying us, so shove off, okay?"

Roark shook his head almost pityingly. "You wouldn't say that if you knew just who she was."

"Don't be retarded, obviously we know who she is—"

"That's not exactly what he means, Leaf," Fystor cut in, still smirking as if enjoying some private joke. "He's talking about what I stand for and what I can do, not just what I call myself."

"Pfft, he doesn't even know _that_—"

"Fystor, Goddess of Retribution." Roark kept his wary gaze fixed on the woman, who seemed far from surprised at his knowledge. "The Avenger, the Judge, the Holder of Balance, Watcher over the Twins, Ambassador of the Legends, Guardian of Aura, Wings of Justice, Punisher of the Guilty. Isn't that right?"

The others' mouths dropped open comically.

"You missed 'Protector of Order and the Law'," Fystor said idly, examining her perfect nails. "And I'm not the Punisher of the Guilty, you're mixing me up with Ambrez."

"Oh. I _knew_ I was forgetting something."

"You — you know what she is?" Leaf sputtered, looking to and fro between them. "What the hell?"

Fystor yawned. "He was listening to us yesterday, obviously. How else? My disguise is pretty damn good, so no chance of seeing through that, right? There wasn't any problem with _him_ eavesdropping, anyway. Which is good news for you, my boy, because otherwise you'd have been a smoking pile of ash before you'd heard the first sentence."

They hadn't thought that Roark could turn even paler, but from the look on his face, apparently he could.

"I really would _love_ to break the situation down for all of you, but I won't yet," she went on, sounding almost bored. "Not until you quit being a proud idiot, Leaf. Humility is critical when dealing with us gods, just so you know."

"B-but—" Lightning began.

"No," Fystor said, firmly this time. "As for right now, why don't you show Leaf and I what you plan to do with the Contest? We can head down there after that, and grab some _real_ food on the way. You won't be coming," she added, turning back to Roark, "since Contests really don't agree with you anymore, and either way there's a tiny matter going on back at Mount Moon you should deal with."

He blinked. "Um, okay. Why?"

"You'll see. Its outcome will be _very_ relevant to your interests. Just plan on meeting us back here at around six this evening or so. But go eat something first, will you? You haven't had any food since lunch yesterday."

Confusion mingled with the caution in his stare: whatever he'd been picturing himself doing when he'd left home, it hadn't had anything to do with a god telling him to run some sort of errand, and not even one of the prevent-the-apocalypse variety at that.

"_Do_ hurry," Fystor told him. "We don't want the Rockets to _succeed_, do we?"

"No ..." he said slowly, still staring at her.

_"Mmph."_

"Shut _up_, Pokedex," Leaf snapped, without even looking in the direction of her handbag.

_"You're very prejudiced against machinery, Naaaarrrrrrrgh, did you know that?"_

She didn't humor it with a reply.

"You _will_ meet me here later, right?" Roark asked finally, glancing from one person to the next. "Instead of just running off on some full-blown quest or something without even telling me? There're things I need to—"

Fystor cut him off with a curt nod. "But the answers to your questions may not be to your liking."

He opened his mouth as if he were about to argue; a second look at her unblinking silvery eyes, however, caused him to snap it shut. "If you say so," he conceded, returning her nod respectfully. "C'mon, Anni. Let's leave them to their whispering for now."

The Cranidos tore her eyes from the goddess's form, apparently still mulling over her appearance. "We're left out, though. _Again_."

"Anni," he replied patiently, "the thing is, when a god tells you to do something, you do it. Anyway, I'm starving, and somewhere in Cerulean is a big plate of waffles with my name on it."

At this, the dinosaur nodded with sudden vigor; her timing implied that the word "god" had less to do with her sudden enthusiasm than the word "waffles". "Works for me, but I'm getting the ones with blueberries."

"See you later!" Lightning called after them as they turned and headed back for the distant glimmering of Cerulean; they waved back briefly before starting up an unheard conversation. The blonde then smiled weakly at the young women, both of whom looked down at him from their comparatively tall heights. "So, do you guys wanna see how they're shaping up? Or would you rather be surprised?"

"Surprise us," Leaf replied dully: the news that she'd have to wait for any sort of revelation had drained any remaining interest. "Maybe that'll make watching the thing a bit less boring." Seeing Lightning's hopeful expression deflate, she added hastily, "But I guess we can see what they do, if you want to show us. Cheri, return." She aimed the red-and-white sphere at the golden bug, who didn't even have time to blink in surprise before she dissolved into her confinement.

His grin returned. "Sure, that's cool." Taking two Poke Balls of his own from his belt, he unleashed Peter and Maggie, who joined Peach as she scampered down from Lightning's shoulder and stood attentively next to Dory, who looked sullen as usual. "Ready for a test run, guys?"

"Yeah!" Peach cheered, beaming up at him.

The giant butterfly at her side fluttered his broad white wings as he pumped the air with a stubby fist. "Damn straight, foo'!"

Dory muttered something under her breath, and Maggie merely blinked at her trainer, unimpressed.

"Great!" Lightning pretended not to notice their lack of interest. "Let's start with you, Peter!"

"Dat's right!" the Butterfree exclaimed, flexing his wings. "Let's show dese guys what da 'free can do!"

"Give them a look at the powders! As you can see—" Lightning turned to Fystor and Leaf, who watched with mild interest as Peter took off into the air with several flaps of his mighty wings. "—Peter's new form gives him a wider range of motion, as well as a broader movepool. He can now unleash different kinds of powders, and after some practice last night, he can limit himself to one type at a time, instead of just blowing out a whole cloud of mixed types at once. It increases the mass of the total powder released and so gives the result more potency."

Drifting on the breeze six feet above their heads, Peter brought his wings down with a single, mighty _swoosh_; bits of poisonously purple dust drifted from the edges of their scales, floating ominously in the air. The Butterfree then flapped them in a steady, even rhythm, and with every wing-beat a cloud of pale green shimmered into being, originating at the bases of his scales instead. Finally, he shifted into a rapid, erratic speed, fluttering back and forth as an eerie gold powder detached himself, in the form of a floating mist, from the dark place where his wings joined his body.

"He can use his Confusion to arrange them the way he wants," Lightning went on, indicating the glowing colors of the powders as they dissipated in the wind; Peter fluttered down next to him, looking overly pleased with his performance. "Since he needs more battling experience as a Butterfree, I'll more likely be using him in the appeal round if I want him to be in today's Contest. And along with that, he'll unleash his _secret weapon_." He struck a cheesy pose, causing everyone else to sweatdrop.

"Dat's da way it's done, mah boi!" Peter agreed, smirking toothily.

"As for Maggie ... well, she'll need water to pull off her appeal," Lightning confessed, rubbing the back of his head. "Often there're small pools in Contest Halls for Water Pokemon, but since that type's so abundant here, I don't know if her appeal will be original enough ..."

"Your overconfidence in me is utterly undeserved," Maggie muttered sarcastically.

"Now, Dory's tendency to be straightforward is better for the battle round," the blonde continued. "She shows her greatest potential when she's got an opponent to beat, hand-to-hand. Let 'em see your Kick-Sting combo, Dory!"

"This is stupid," the Nidoran muttered, showing her large buckteeth in a sneer of disdain; nevertheless, she tensed her muscles, then suddenly smashed one hind leg against the ground, using the abrupt force to push herself into the air. She somersaulted for a moment in midair — Leaf's interest increased dramatically as she watched the Pokemon's movement — then half-curled into a ball as she flew toward a nearby tree. Just before impact, her other leg shot out, slamming against the tree's bark ... she arched backwards, and several small stingers on her back, loosened by the blow, sprayed the plant, every last one hitting it dead-on. Spinning backward as she fell, Dory hit the ground rolling, before jumping to her paws, looking completely unfazed.

"Great job! And Peach—"

But the Pichu started before he could finish his command: her eyes narrowed cutely as she stared back at him, and her glare could have been almost adorable were it not for the uncomfortable sensation that she was planning something. Leaf had barely formed the thought that the mouse was imagining doing naughty things with Lightning when Peach tensed, concentrating; a deep indigo sphere abruptly flickered into existence above her head, scattering its pure light everywhere as it expanded to the size of a basketball. The sphere flickered and split into several spheres of the same size and color. They began to spin around Peach's small body, picking up an impressive speed almost immediately. The whole thing had hardly taken a second, so Leaf was caught by surprise as the Pokemon stood up straight, throwing her arms backward with a loud "CHUUUUUUU!" Small, jagged bolts of lightning leapt from the mouse's yellow fur, shooting off in all directions in a sort of gentle explosion; the spheres followed, gleaming enigmatically as they sped off to unseen destinations.

"Brilliant!" Lightning applauded enthusiastically, scooping the mouse into his arms and hopping around. "You pulled it off _perfectly_, Peach! With a technique like that, you could fit easily into either of the rounds!"

"I love you too, Lightning," the mouse giggled happily, snuggling into his arm.

Leaf's heart sank as the full impact of Lightning's talent washed over her. _Those strategies were way more brilliant than mine, and that's just Contest stuff! I can't even beat a gym by myself, much less pull off such a skilled move like that!_

"Brilliant show, lad," a voice cawed from a nearby bush. "Gorgeous stuff. It's too blinding _not_ to see."

The girl jerked from her lamentation with a startled gasp — had Vember found them again? She glanced up at Fystor, but the woman only looked amused again, which relaxed her slightly, allowing her heart's painful, rapid thudding to slow.

At the sound of the caw Lightning frowned, looking over at the bush as a small bird, no larger than Peach, stumbled out of it. The bird's plumage was a nondescript brown color, though his overgrown feathers spiked unevenly at the ends. He swayed a bit drunkenly, spreading his red wings to steady himself; as he opened them flutteringly, their pale undersides flashed in and out of view before he finally regained his balanced, looking rather pleased with himself. His eyes peered at them from over a hooked beak, gazing at them shrewdly and rather lazily, which seemed odd behavior from a—

"How do you pronounce its name again?" Lightning asked nobody in particular, as Peach scampered back to her usual position on his shoulder, mirroring his confusion. "I mean, people say it differently everywhere, and I have no idea what the right one is—"

_"The Oxford English Dictionary pronounces it 'spare-oh',"_ the Pokedex informed them, peeking up from the depths of Leaf's handbag.

"Oh. Well—"

_"Encyclopedia Britannica pronounces it 'speer-oh',"_ the machine went on unhelpfully, _"and Wikipedia says it's 'speh-roh'. But personally, I prefer to call it something more factually correct, like 'spay-roh'."_

Dory shot it a cold glare.

_"But enough of that. Spay-roh, the Bloody Nuisance Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Tweety Bird, Weight is Fatass Turkey. It's annoyingly protective of whatever it thinks it owns, but it's a huge coward without about a million others to back it up. That's either a really deep metaphor that I can't figure out, although it might have something to do with teamwork or cowardice, but they're both the same thing in the end, obviously — or just a species problem that means they're stupid. They've got neat eyesight, but from the look of this midget I guess its peepers've been dimmed by enough beer to drown a Wailmer, amirite?"_

"Rum," the Spearow corrected, lurching slightly closer. "Rum's good. Where's the rum?" He looked around the area in confusion, as if expecting an enormous bottle of alcohol to jump out of nowhere and honor them with a hat-and-cane routine.

"Why would you be looking for booze _here?_" Dory's lip curled upward as she stared in disbelief at the bird. "We're all minors ... mostly." She paused, glancing up at Fystor for the briefest of moments. "Anyway, it's really bad for somebody to drink, Spearow, or didn't you know that?"

"The name's Jack, luv," said the Spearow. "Perry Jack. Where's the rum?"

The Nidoran's eyes blazed with a sudden dark fire. "'Luv', am I, now? I did _not_ lose all this weight just to be showered with meaningless terms of endearment by some wasted featherhead!"

Frosti blinked. "... You lost weight?"

"When there's a way to do things," Perry Jack slurred, putting emphasis on the words in an almost sing-song rhythm, "it works _best_ if you do it right. Fr'example ..." He leaned backward slightly on his clawed feet, sticking his wings in front of him as if trying to find his balance again. "There's a flashy, look-at-me sorta method. And on the other hand, then there's the bit where you actually _do_ something. 'Snot too confusing for your pretty lil' head, is it?"

His slurred chirruping finally made something in Dory snap: trembling with rage, she growled furiously at him with narrowed eyes, tensing her muscles in anticipation. "Okay, bird, now you've crossed the line! Get ready to eat dirt!"

"Ooh, a fight!" Peach leaned forward, eagerness lighting up her intent gaze. "Beat him good, Dory!"

Lightning frowned at his Nidoran's attitude. "But ... but Dory, what about the Contest? You'll be too tired to—"

"Screw the Contest," Dory snarled. "Nobody but _nobody_ calls my head 'pretty' and 'lil''."

"'Sa funny thing," Perry Jack remarked, blinking vaguely, "but I woulda thought you'd prefer 'pretty lil'' to 'big and honkin' ugly', unless there were some inferiority complex at work—"

"Shut UP!"

"Tail-Kick him!" Lightning called out hastily as Dory scampered across the grass towards her newfound foe; she hastily complied to his wishes by using the momentum of her pattering gait to throw herself around, twisting on her front feet to send her flying, rear-first, at the bird, who cocked his head to the side curiously as her butt wagged from side to side, not noticing it was getting ominously closer until her hind feet had knocked him into the ground with a decisive _pow-pow!_

Perry Jack glared at her blearily as she landed on her feet, facing him again. "And so it begins."

Dory returned his gaze stubbornly, only to prick her ears, then cower back slightly at the sight of his eyes: those beady pupils expanded rapidly into light-swallowing circles of darkness, obliterating even the whites of his eyes. Leaf, her mind wandering back to the depression of two days ago, dimly remembered the move which the Mankey had used. Leer, wasn't it?

"Stay with it, Dory!" Lightning called, and his voice broke into a cheer as Dory shook her head to clear it, staring the bird down. "Atta girl! Just keep your eye on him. Let him move first, but Poison Sting him when you get the chance!"

The Spearow blinked, and his eyes immediately reverted to their normal, beady appearance. "This ain't gonna work out b'tween us, luv," he said almost sadly, clacking his beak as he spread his wings; with a great "SPEAAAAAARRR!" he took off, soaring toward her with his head extended forward.

Narrowing her own eyes, Dory watched him sail in closer and closer, lowered her upper body to the ground — and pushed herself into the air with her forelegs, sending her back over her head as she somersaulted briefly in midair and slammed into Perry Jack at the exact moment that he tried to jab her violently with his beak. He had only stabbed her twice before being thrown backward, warbling in pain at the several small blue spines had been smashed into his face. Both Pokemon hit the ground, muttering as they gave their respective injuries cursory glances.

"Like flying, do you?" Dory twitched her huge ears as she pushed herself to a standing position. "Try this on for size, bird!" She tensed again, but this time she leapt straight up into the sky — as the wind rushed around her, its currents formed into brilliant white streaks through which her determined rabbit face could be seen — abruptly she turned sharply in midair, slicing downward with eye-watering speed; almost immediately she hit him, and both tumbled away upon impact. The streaks of wind had lost their color and gone on their merry way long before the two Pokemon rolled to a stop, both gasping.

"Aerial Ace, eh, luv?" A hacking chuckle clawed its way out of Perry Jack's throat. "Flashy, that. Though it'a been better 'fyou'da not wasted so much time in ac'ually _doin'_ it, y'see?"

Then, in a collapse of dirty brown feathers, he crumpled the ground, spread-eagled and panting heavily.

"Whoohoo! Great work, Dory, you did it! Now, time for him to join us!"

Lightning plucked an empty Poke Ball from his belt; tossing it at the semi-conscious wild Pokemon with a flourish, he watched intently as the sphere opened, sucked the converted matter into its mysterious depths, and closed with a soft _snap_, not even slightly wobbling before the decisive _ping_!

"Weeeee are the chaaaampions!" Lightning sang, breaking into an impromptu Egyptian-style dance that made Leaf laugh and Fystor facepalm. "My frieeeeends ... c'mon, Dory, why not celebrate? Dory? ... Dory?"

The Nidoran, not seeming to hear him, twitched; aside from that involuntary movement, she was frozen in the same position she had landed in after her Aerial Ace. Laughter dying on his lips, Lightning took a few steps toward his prone Pokemon—

A pressure against his legs stopped him. He looked down to see Peter there, a stubby arm still outstretched to halt his progress.

"Ya shouldn' get any closa ta her, mah boi." The Butterfree shook his head almost pityingly.

Lightning opened his mouth — but Dory's sudden scream cut him off: a faint glow rippled down her hapless body as she collapsed, thrashing about in some unseen agony. He gaped in horror as he watched her buck forward, claws groping at thin air — there was an ominous crackling noise, and her yowl jumped a couple of octaves as her wildly jerking limbs stretched impossibly further, like snakes — a sudden series of snaps made everyone gasp: her spine was breaking.

_"Dory!"_ Lightning wailed over her shrieking, trying to sidestep Peter to get to her side. The Butterfree pushed his trainer back again, this time with a broad wing; undeterred, the boy rushed at her again — only to get a face full of green powder. He blinked, yawned once, and toppled over into a sudden sleep. The _thump_ as he hit the grass was drowned out by Dory's yowls as blood spurted from her stretching legs.

"I'm sorry," Peter murmured, and for the first time, he looked truly empathetic. "I'm sorry ..."

A loud _rip_ brought the scream to a crescendo — and Frosti couldn't take it anymore. Hands shaking, he turned away from the awful sight of huge spines bursting out of Dory's back, and clawed wildly at Leaf's pant leg; the girl jerked out her frozen state of horror at the sudden welling of pain, bending down automatically to feel the bleeding scratches. "OW! Frosti, what the hell do you think you're—"

"Cheri!" he sobbed, collapsing at her sandaled feet. "I need Cheri!"

Leaf stared at him. "Are you kidding? She'll just rip up Pe—"

"Nooooooo!" he moaned. Tears squeezed between his tightly shut eyelids. "Cheri, help ... can't fight ..."

Parvati tore her captivated gaze from Dory's expanding body (the bones creaking as they enlarged, tearing through muscle like butter) and fixed it instead on him and Leaf. "Frosti?" she asked uncertainly, darting over to him. "What's up, Frosti? It's not you evolving, so what's wrong?"

"Cheri." The Charmander shuddered, recoiling from Parvati's hesitantly outstretched paw. "Can't hold on ..."

The Meowth tilted her whiskery head to the side. "Well, if you really want her ..." Pushing herself onto her hind paws, she leapt a few feet into the air, batting at the button of Cheri's Poke Ball.

A flash of light, and the insect stood there, blinking in the sun and looking like some avenging buggy angel. At the sight of Frosti's cowering form, however, she dropped to her knees, gentle warmth melting away the red ice of her gaze. "Frosti," she breathed, scooping him up in a protective embrace. "Frosti, Frosti, what ...?" Her eyes flickered upward, narrowing she watched Dory thrash about, new fangs visible as her open mouth continued to pour out a jerking scream.

Leaf sucked her in her breath through her teeth. "Cheri, get back in your ball. I do NOT want you killing Peter right now!"

The Beedrill didn't seem to hear her, however. "Just hold on, Frosti," she murmured, tightening her hold on his hitching body. "Shush, Frosti. Breathe. Keep hold of your _mind_ ..."

_"Hey!"_ the Pokedex exclaimed; swiveling around, Leaf was astonished to see Fystor, cool as ever, pulling a slender silver cell phone from her pocket. _"What're you doing, your legendariness? Aren't you supposed to save the day or something?"_

"Obviously." Still perfectly calm, Fystor proceeded to push a few of its buttons. "I'm the only one with enough sense left to dial 911, or haven't you noticed? Evolution is nasty at the best of times, after all, and this one has just crossed the line ..."

The last thing Frosti heard, before terror sent him catapulting into unconsciousness, was the twin wailing of sirens mingling with Dory's broken, shrieking cry ...

* * *

Frosti's eyelids fluttered. He blinked at the sudden influx of light, taking in the familiar (though sideways) sight of the Pokemon Center lobby, with its sterile-white walls and nose-burning scent of cleaner.

"Awake?" Cheri's voice held a tone of gentle amusement. "I was wondering when you'd come around."

Groaning, he pushed himself into a sitting position; the world righted itself into its normal dimensions of ceiling above, walls around, floor below. Remembering the blood-chilling yowls emanating from Dory's bleeding throat, the quiet of this place, disturbed only by the electric hum of the lights hanging above them, felt eerie and surreal. The thought of evolution made forced him into a reflexive self-checkup: Horn? No. Red scales? No. Maniacal desire to eat everybody in sight? Only if everybody had turned into steaks. Relieved, he let his eyes traveled beyond his unclenching claws to the spindly black legs dangling next to him on the sofa, and he relaxed. He didn't need to see Cheri's golden form to feel relieved at her comforting, understanding presence. "Where is everyone?" he asked, leaning back.

"In the back with Nurse Joy." The Beedrill sighed softly. "Dory was in seriously bad shape when the ambulance pulled up. You don't need every ounce of possible strength to evolve — loads of Pokemon are near dead with exhaustion when it hits — but you need the proper amounts of nutrients to bolster your endurance, or else the process is far, far bloodier, to say the least." She shifted slightly next to him. "From what I heard the doctors say, Dory hasn't been eating _nearly_ as much she should. Nidoran have a natural layer of baby fat that only burns off when they evolve, according to them. That's why none of us suspected anything. But now, with that fat gone ..." The bee fell contemplatively silent.

Frosti gaped down the softly lit hall beyond the desk, from which hushed voices drifted solemnly. "How bad is it?" he whispered finally.

"They said she's at fifty-five percent of normal Nidorina body weight," Cheri replied quietly. "Fifty-five ... that's not much heavier than you are, Frosti. I saw her ribs sticking out like ... fence posts, or something ..." Her voice faltered. "I really don't have a good comparison for it."

"That's awful." The Charmander shivered slightly. "D'you think she'll—"

"Hush." Cheri held up a spear to quiet him. "They're coming."

They strained to listen, the soft clatter of sneakers on tile reaching their unseen ears. Finally a voice spoke up, a light voice that somehow only served to emphasize the seriousness of its owner's words. "If we keep injecting them into her, we can increase her heart rate to one-oh-five a minute. That'll still be low, but at least it's approaching healthy range. But she'll definitely need to stay here at the Center until she hits forty pounds, at least. Performing, obviously, will be out of the question."

"It's my fault." Lightning's voice cracked as he spoke. "I should've ... I should've been watching her closer. I should've _seen_ ..."

"It's not a change you could've seen," the other responded kindly. "You can't be blamed for that. Although it's true that you could have kept an eye on how much she was eating ... and there _is_ a note in your file here, my cousin stuck it in, saying you were overusing your Pichu's Volt Tackle ..."

A groan interrupted her. "I'm hopeless, aren't I, Nurse?"

"Hardly," said the Nurse. "You're just a noob. Noobs can't be expected to do _everything_ right."

Four human figures stepped into view in the hall: the pink-haired, generic-looking Nurse crossed on small, tidy steps to her usual place behind the counter, looking prim and proper in spite of the blood staining her apron and slender hands; Lightning, face white with anxiety, faced her. Leaf, looking solemn, crossed the waiting area to her Pokemon, watched intently by Fystor as the bird-woman leaned against the wall patiently.

"She'll be okay," Leaf told them, as if they hadn't heard already. "Oh, the poor bunny ... I don't know how you managed it when you evolved, Cheri. It happened _twice_ to you! It seems so awful ..."

"Finally you've got it figured out," Frosti whispered, drawing a look of surprised confusion from his trainer.

"... at least two weeks," Joy was telling Lightning, who nodded mutely. Peach, sitting quietly on his shoulder, leaned her large ear against his head in a comforting sort of gesture; he reached up to scratch it absentmindedly. "Please don't worry so much about it, we've seen cases far worse than this. I'm confident she'll recover to perfect health."

He nodded vaguely, staring down at the empty space on his belt where Dory's Poke Ball used to hang.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll need to wash off!" Joy's usual cheesy giggle crept back into her voice, making Leaf groan. "Because blood isn't a very nice thing to be wearing, especially when I have to go judge the Contest soon!"

His head snapped up. "Contest? Oh, I completely forgot!" He made a jerking motion, starting to run for the door; a thought seemed to occur to him, however, for he abruptly paused. "I-I'd like to come back later to see her," he told Joy, almost apologetically. "After the Contest. If that's all right, of course."

The Nurse nodded, and with a beaming expression he continued in his flight for glory.

"Same old Lightning," Leaf sighed, watching him scamper out the door; Joy stared after him, mouth hanging open in surprise. "Well, at least he's been taken down a peg. He's cool, but it's really hard to stand him, since he's so much better at what he does than I am!"

Her Pokemon exchanged exasperated glances, noticing with twin twinges of satisfaction that Fystor's lip curled upward in an expression of distaste. Oblivious to both of these, the girl headed off after him, unhurried, with the three Pokemon soon following close behind.

* * *

They swept through the Hall door to enter a garish lobby, decorated so extravagantly as to almost hide its plain rectangular shape: broad, obnoxiously-colored ribbons hung from the ceiling, which boasted several twinkling plastic stars. Puffy blue sofas were scattered around at intervals, trying to go for an artsy pattern but failing miserably; a few people sat on them, glancing up anxiously at the endless ticking of a star-shaped clock. A loudspeaker was situated high up on a wall, blaring the obnoxious voice of everyone's favorite Jamaican crab: _"Unda da sea ... unda da sea ..."_

"At last!" Lightning exclaimed, beaming as he strode confidently toward the receptionist desk to sign himself in. Yet a bit of sadness stained his smile — clearly he wouldn't forget that Dory wasn't there to share the experience.

"Hi, you guys!" The pink-haired young woman behind the desk rushed around to meet them, beaming: even separated from her sisters, Lily's cheerful stupidity was unabated, a fact only emphasized by her horrifying overuse of exclamation points. "Signing up, Lightning? It's a bit late, but you can still get in! And I'm glad you can, 'cause the more the merrier!"

Peach cringed, and even Fystor couldn't resist pressing her lips into a tight line of exasperation.

"Just sign here!" Lily gestured excitedly to an important-looking paper on the desk, which Lightning cautiously approached as he drew forth a pen from the jar nearby. "Put down your name, and the Pokemon you're using for appeal! And the other Pokemon you'll use for battling, of course! And nicknames, if they have any, because people love it when we can announce their nicknames too, and it makes it more exciting and pretty!"

Finished, Lightning gave her a small nod. "I guess," he said carefully, unwilling to give her further reason to be excited. "I'm happy to be here. Isn't it great, Peach?" He scratched the electric mouse's ear fondly, and she giggled softly in response.

"Great! Now you can wait over there in the prep area, where you can give your Pokemon a pep talk, if you want! And you and your friend can go find seats in the auditorium, 'kay, Leaf? I bet you can find ones with a really good view!"

"Sure ..." Leaf gave the beaming pink-haired woman a sideways glance. "Of course. Good luck, Lightning! Make us proud, and Dory, too!"

"Count on it! Dory," he sighed, watching Leaf and Fystor cross over to the set of stairs on the other side of the room; the steps would take them into the expanse of seats overlooking the auditorium. "I really hope she _will_ be okay ..."

He set off down a nearby corridor, which Lily still pointed at after him, beaming stupidly. The ocean blue of the surrounding walls gave him a distinct sense of claustrophobia, shoving into his mind the unwanted image of Dory laying prone in that room for weeks upon weeks, slowly suffocating ... He shook the thought out of his head with a slight shudder. A chastening rumble sounded in his stomach; he _still_ hadn't eaten anything.

Abruptly the corridor turned sharply to the right; following it, he blinked at the sudden burst of light raining on his eyes. Setting foot in the new room rather cautiously, he observed that it was roughly the size of the lobby he had left behind. Several Coordinators were seated on its deep blue furniture, however: preppy girls chattering incessantly on their cell phones, shady young men slouching moodily in their chairs, even a few old people muttering to themselves about how much better things were in the old days. Pokemon of various shapes, sizes, and states of anxiety stood beside their owners; it appeared they'd just undergone the traditional "this is it" speech and were now wondering exactly why they were doing this in the first place. A large screen covered most of one wall, displaying commercials that the obnoxious voice leaking from the speakers underneath seemed only to happy to vocalize for. And there, on the wall across from him, stood the door.

The only thing standing between him and the place of his dreams.

Taking a deep breath, he crossed nervously to an empty chair fairly close to the screen. A few other Coordinators glanced up curiously at him as he passed, but he did his best not to look around at his competition. Sinking into the chair, he decided that perhaps it lucky he hadn't eaten.

Only a few torturous seconds had passed when—

"Oh, so you actually think you can stand a chance against me? Please. I've had tougher competition from an ugly clown, although you bear a striking resemblance to him."

Shocked, his head jerked upward involuntarily at the face of the girl standing in front of him, hands on her hips with a superior expression. His mouth dropped open at the sight of her glaring, unforgettable face.

Kaleri Kutter.

* * *

Pickaxe held teetering over his head, Cobalt paused. He glanced upward, craning his neck to catch sight of Bulbasaur, who was sitting on a rock several feet above him. "Did you say something?"

She took her sweet time turning her red eyes toward him, fixing him with her usual impatient glare. "No. Does your brain need replacing?"

He scowled vaguely and turned his attention from her sneer to the grunts sat tiredly on nearby boulders, taking a break from their incessant digging; their languid forms were scattered across his vision like the pebbles lying across the sandy ground under his feet. _They're too out of breath to have said anything. Lazy bastards,_ he said to himself, ignoring the fact that he hadn't done a thing to help until fifteen minutes ago. It was the expected thing to do, after all: unearthing these ancient relics of the past would gloriously seal his chances at receiving the much-coveted rank of executive. Besides, those people were grunts. Of _course_ they were going to do the dirty work.

But his mind was on something else.

"Gina?" he asked uncertainly, as said young woman approached from her nearby lookout point; even in spite of her liking for them, she too knew the importance of keeping them in their place.

Yawning, she tossed her copper hair around her head, more out of habit than anything. "What?"

"Did somebody ... no. Never mind." _Because if there's anybody who_ wasn't _going to hear anything, it's Gina._

"Yeah, well, okay. Have you found any more yet?"

"No." He wiped a trickle of sweat off his brow, careful not to knock off his wig (today a mass of golden spikes) in the process. "But there's _got_ to be more somewhere around here. If two Pokemon died here when the meteor hit, it stands to reason that they weren't the only buggers around, right?"

"I guess," she said, though she didn't sound very convinced. "But we do need to leave soon. The police are still swarming around the mountain; it's a miracle they haven't found us yet. And then I wanna go back to headquarters." She stifled a huge yawn with a slender hand. "I really don't get what's so great about this whole adventure business, anyway. The _real_ adventure is finding all the best sales, don't you think?"

She went on about the relative prices of bikinis, but Cobalt, in spite of the subject matter, ignored her. He was getting the strange notion that this particular errand for glory would fail if they didn't move _now_. Of course, he tried to push the thought away as soon as it arrived, but the nagging feeling persisted. _Don't be stupid,_ he told himself. _There'll be loads more of those things sitting in the rock, just waiting for us to scoop them up—_ His eyes flickered to the already-unearthed fossils lying on the ground, the watchful eyes of grunts trained upon them protectively. _—And we can get them back to base along with the Moon Stone bits and the amber thingy. The scientists will_ worship _us for it. And the Boss_ ... He smirked, nodding to himself. _He'll catapult me into power. Just wait._

Cheered at the thought, he swung the pickaxe down at the stone before him yet again, as Gina continued to babble as if he were actually listening. What reached his ears instead was the satisfying _crack_ of rock; retracting the tool's pointed head from the newly-formed fissure, he let the work carry him away from any anxiety. Surely he'd only imagined that someone had quietly whispered in his ear, clearly audible over the chattering of grunts and falling rock: _They are watching._

He raised the pickaxe again, ignoring his itching palm ...

* * *

Of course, someone _was_ watching. Quite a few someones, in fact.

"Look at them," somebody scoffed, as piercing red eyes gazed from a towering scruffy bush situated perhaps fifty yards from the Rockets' camp. "They've probably barely _tapped_ the stuff. And him, over there, look at him! He's holding that pickaxe all wrong. What the hell, I say. Just, what the hell."

"It's not like they've been raised in a mining environment, though." Glass glinted as another person peered from the depths of the large hedge. "They can't help it. But they _are_ being pretty stupid ... none of them are wearing helmets! Not one! Don't they have _any_ idea of the safety precautions they need to—"

A low, sorrowful rumble emanated quietly.

"We know you're sad, Skipper," the first voice snapped tersely. "I'm not happy with that uppity little noob, either. Damn her and her snobbish nose. But if Paris hadn't just split without even considering the rest of us—"

Another grumbling bugle cut her off.

"Stop that! They'll hear us, dammit, and then we're screwed! Look, we're going to try and find her, okay? Right after Fystor tells us what's going on. Fystor ... damn, was that really her? She didn't _seem_ like a goddess to me."

"She wasn't going to just stroll into Cerulean in full celestial feathery glory," the human pointed out dryly.

"Yeah, but still, shouldn't she have been giving off flares of power or something? She _should_ be leaking some sort of crazy godlike stuff because she just can't contain all that power she's supposed to have. It happens in all the movies, remember that one where the bad guy was going up to the Regigigas, and every time he took a step he swayed more and more to the side until he looked like a complete retard, and then he went into that 'yur da shorsh of my inner vishun' speech that your dad used to quote? I mean, seriously."

"In my experience, leakage is a sign of inadequacy rather than capacity."

A brief moment of silence, in which one might get the distinct impression that somebody was shooting somebody else a confused glare.

"They said that on TV somewhere."

"Oh, okay. I thought you were going all fortune cookie on me for a sec. Well, I guess that makes sense ... but still, she's a _god_. Stuff should _happen_. Trumpets blaring every time she opens her mouth and et cetera."

"That's probably just a metaphor. It'd get really annoying after a few minutes, anyway. Okay, enough of that. Look at the Rockets. They're all pretty much in the same general area, so we can disrupt them easily with a triple Stealth Rock. That's probably overkill, but that Cobalt might have a trick or two up his sleeve."

Somebody sighed. "Think again, Obi-Wan. We're the only two who know that move."

"Yeah!" chirruped a third Pokemon voice, which carried a faint metallic echo. "Onwy me and Anni can do Steawth Wock! Skippoh can't. Siwwy Woawk, don't you wememboh tat?"

"Of course I do," the other replied, unfazed. "But that was when he was a Mudkip. As a Swampert, his new ground type gives him more potential to manipulate stones and minerals. So ..." The voice paused, momentarily replaced by a slight rustling. "This is for you, Skipper. I still carry a bunch of these, they're technically mine anyway. I didn't think you'd be able to learn it, obviously—" He sighed a bit sadly. "But since you can, it's better that you do."

"It's not worth it," the deep voice mumbled. "She's gone."

"News flash, dude: we know. Skipper, learn the damn move. We're _going_ to find her, okay? The sooner we get all this over with, the sooner we'll get her back. We've said it, like, eight freaking times now."

"Here, Skipper." A moment passed, in which a bright flash illuminated the undersides of the bush's leaves; a faint sound of clattering rocks whispered across the air, like an echo. Then, in an anticlimactic suddenness, both faded. "You see how to do it?"

"Sort of ..." A bit of confusion crept into the voice's melancholy tone. "It makes sense, I guess. But I don't know if I can really aim like Anni can. It might be too much to even try to _use_ it the first time."

"I wouldn't expect more than that; it's a tricky move at the best of times. We can work on improving aim later on, but for now, I'm just counting on you to hit them with it close up. Until then, Anni and Emily can blast them with it while you terrify them even more with a Take Down, okay?"

An indecipherable mumble.

"He'll get into it when we actually start beating them up," the snappish feminine voice said. "Hopefully. Come on, get your chin up, Skipper. Let's kick those Rockets' asses into orbit!"

"Yay!" the babyish voice agreed happily. "Wet's kick tose Wockets' asses!"

Somebody snorted.

"Er, Emily, we don't talk like that." The voice's owner seemed embarrassed.

"But Anni said it," the other pouted.

"Then I suppose that means you _really_ shouldn't say it," the deep voice commented sardonically.

There was a moist _slap_. "See, I told you guys he'd come around."

"Sure, but did you have to hit my head? Ow ..."

"It was a friendly hit, Skip. A sibling-greeting kind of thing, or a 'let's kick some ass' hit, y'know?"

"Woawk, Anni said ass again! How come she can say wowds tat I can't?"

A sigh. "Anni—"

"Sor-_ry_. Now shut up and get ready, right? Crouch down like that, yeah. And try to corner those damn grunts, okay? It'll make it easier for us to kick their—"

"Anni."

"... rears. Killjoy."

"Thank you. Okay, guys, leap at them when I say 'three', got it? It'll be more effective if we give them as big a shock as possible. Skipper, if your scar starts acting up again, don't strain yourself. Use long-range moves instead. Now ..."

Silence. A bird twittered cheerfully somewhere out of sight.

"One," the voice hissed quietly. "Two ..."

In the Rocket camp, a grunt yawned lazily.

_"Three."_


	23. Put to the Contest: Part II

Other half of the Contest chapter, whoo.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three: Put To the Contest (Starvation and Preservation! Get the Ribbon, Lightning!) – Part Two

Lightning's blood froze with the shock. _She's here!_ he screamed silently, sitting petrified in Kaleri's sharp hazel gaze like a deer in the headlights. A few other Coordinators, aware of her fame, gawked up at her in admiration, but her eyes were for the hapless victim gaping before her.

"Well?" she asked waspishly.

"Ungh ..." Lightning groaned stupidly. The strain of keeping his eyes on her burning stare proved too much for him, as demonstrated when he fell backwards in his chair in a dead faint.

Peach glared at Kaleri as the girl rolled her eyes. "Puh-lease. He can't even listen to me without acting like a loser." Tossing her long blond hair in the air, she stalked over to the threshold of the dark corridor, tapping lethal-looking fingernails against the wall in impatience.

A slight movement diverted the Pichu's attention. Glancing down, she frowned, then turned her head left and right in confusion, wondering just what she had seen. Then the boring thing staring up at her shifted again, and she realized with a start that an Ayell was sitting not two feet in front of her, looking completely unimpressed. The sunny-yellow bandanna tied neatly around his neck looked like a burst of sun against his cloudy drabness.

"What's with you, shorty?" she snapped, in spite of the fact that they were roughly the same height. "Trailing your minx of a trainer while she harasses my poor sweet Lightning." She patted the boy's ear. "You're so uninteresting, anyway. Why are you even here if it's so obvious you're going to lose?"

Shadowson blinked silently.

"Talk, you idiot! Apologize for your trainer's mean behavior, or something!" She scowled at him darkly, red cheeks sparkling with yellow electricity. "What, cat got your tongue, you ... you cat? Can't you _talk_ at all?"

"I _would_ talk," Shadowson replied evenly, "if you'd let me get a word in edgewise."

Peach blinked in astonishment. She'd expected his voice (given he had one) would be as dull and unremarkable as his appearance; as it was, his androgynous tone, only slightly tainted with masculinity, surprised her almost as much as a bugling baritone would have.

"Well," she said, recovering from her shock after a second, "okay, then. If you don't have the guts to speak up — don't you roll your eyes at me! Hey, where're you going, I'm not through with you yet!"

_"Welcome, one and all!"_ a cheerful voice burst suddenly from the speaker. Sighing in exasperation, Peach turned back to Lightning, grabbed his face, and shook him a bit roughly, causing the boy to inhale sharply and mutter something as his eyes fluttered open.

On the screen, the commercials had vanished to make way for a presumably live view of the stage, panning in and out to give the now-watchful Coordinators a good look at what they were about to compete in. The floor shone vivid neon pink, contrasting sharply with the large pool of water sitting in its center. As the camera turned, Lightning noted through slightly unfocused eyes that there seemed to be a table situated at one end, where three figures sat in darkness; the table itself lay under the huge scoreboard which, currently, was displaying the large words "WELCUMM TU TEH CONNTEZT!", which tipped him off immediately that one of the Waterflowers had written it.

_"My, we have a great turnout today!"_ With a flash of her blond hair, Daisy strode out onto the stage, gripping a microphone and beaming. A scattering of rather unenthusiastic applause clattered across the audience, which was cast in deep shadow from the strong lights sweeping the stage. _"Everyone is so excited and happy! Before we begin, I'd like to introduce our judges!"_

Less-than-heartfelt clapping.

_"Today, we have our usual lovely Violet Waterflower!"_ Daisy exclaimed, as the figures at the table were slowly illuminated in light; the curvy one on the left waved happily in response. _"As well as, of course, our own Nurse Joy! And finally, we have a very special guest judge who was kind enough to sit in for us today! Give a big hand for the legend seeker himself, Eusine DeNorte!"_

Lightning had only gotten a glimpse of the haughty-looking person in the far right seat before he squeezed his eyes shut again in pain: a glass-splitting fangirl scream grated from the loudspeaker.

"That'll be Leaf," Peach commented, rolling her eyes.

"Ow!" Lightning winced, clutching his head. "Why do girls always _do_ these things?"

The answer would remain a mystery to him forever. Girls are funny creatures that way.

* * *

Peach was right. The agonizing squeal of delight was pouring from Leaf's wide-open mouth, which matched her intently gazing eyes. She didn't seem to realize that everyone within twenty yards was staring at her.

"This isn't just embarrassing," Fystor muttered, sinking lower into her seat. "It's ludicrous."

"Bahhhhhhht ..." Leaf tried to inhale and speak at the same time, which wasn't nearly as nice-sounding as she would have liked. "But look! It's him! It's really _him_!" She stared shamelessly down at the young man, utterly starstruck.

The bird-woman yawned. "Please. That is _nothing_. Vember's father, now, _there_ was a good-looking beast."

Rather than listen to the bored legendary, the girl practically drooled at the sight of the guest judge. Though several yards away from their front-row seats, his tall, lean form seemed to draw the eye. Garbed in a brilliant purple suit that could have given Ocean's pants a run for their money, Eusine seemed to radiate a mysterious, intriguing aura that everyone seemed to feel aside from Fystor, whose opinion was really the last word on the subject, though in defense of the celebrity, no one would admit it. The young man's watchful sapphire eyes narrowed, fixed on a door opposite the table. Beneath them, thin white-gloved fingers steepled almost plottingly in front of his handsome, sharp-featured face; above, a carefully-groomed mop of rich chestnut hair was arranged into a rather unique hairstyle, due to the feature known to city girls as "a sexy banger" and to the more rural teenage population as "a damn huge cowlick" (although these terms can be considered the same thing even outside of hairstyling, depending on who you ask).

"Currently here in town for filming his latest episode of _Suicune Safari_!" Daisy chirruped cheerfully on. She turned to him, beaming. "Is it true that Suicune has been rumored to be seen recently on Cerulean Cape, Eusine?"

His eyes snapped toward her in the briefest of glances. "It's true that there are _rumors_," he replied in an icy, bored tone, staring at the door again. "In spite of my hopes that they are verifiable, however, I have some doubt that it would truly appear here."

"Exactly!" Daisy agreed, although what she was agreeing to was a complete mystery. "Maybe you'll finally find it!"

Fystor shifted uncomfortably in her seat beside Leaf. "_Somebody_ overdosed on stupid pills this morning."

"And now ..." Daisy had to raise her voice as the sound of a drum roll pounded from nowhere in particular. "Without further ado, let's welcome our first Coordinator as we begin our appeal round! Everybody give it up for Avery and Drifloon!"

Clapping rippled again through the audience as a lanky lavender-haired teenager stepped from behind the door, waving coolly at the audience. Above the panel of judges, the screen flickered to a square displaying Avery's face, as well as a timer displaying bright red numbers, indicating that a maximum of two minutes would be granted him in his appeal. As he reached for a peculiar-looking Poke Ball on its belt — brilliant blue and white, with twin red stripes adorning its top half — the timer's number immediately shifted to 1:59, counting down his time.

"Come on out!" he yelled, tossing the ball into the air. "Start this off with a Gust!"

For a moment, Leaf was sure that the shape materializing from the open ball was a joke. Surely nobody would enter a _balloon_ for the Contest, even if it _was_ such a nice shade of deep purple. But the puffy white cloud-shaped fluff sitting on its head didn't seem like something a normal balloon would have ... and she blinked as she realized that it was rapidly whipping around the two long strings dangling from its body, forming a chilly breeze that slowly accelerated to a softly moaning wind.

"Great! Now Constrict yourself, following up with a Minimize!"

Extending its string-like arms to either side, Drifloon abruptly turned in a swift, continuous circle, spinning quickly around, faster, faster ... so fast that the brilliant yellow cross underneath its beady black eyes could be seen only as a blur, and its string cut into its bouncy-looking body, creating an eerie squeal that made everyone's hair stand on end. Leaf squinted — in the rush of wind and motion, it seemed to actually be shrinking, though of course that was only an illusion ...

Then she blinked.

"Where'd it go?" she asked confusedly, glancing around in a bit of worry as the wind died back down to a cool, gentle breeze. Around her, others also muttered in speculation. Fystor only smirked.

"And finish it up with full-power Astonish!"

"FLOOOOOOOOOOON!"

Everybody jumped at the sound of the high-pitched wail and the sudden appearance of the small balloon Pokemon, who seemed to tower over them a hundred feet tall as the air leapt into a pounding, ominous gale. Across from Leaf, a little girl's teeth could be heard chattering.

"And that's a wrap!" Avery called out triumphantly, smiling at his Drifloon as it shimmered, then solidified once more in its normal size. Recalling it, he waved at the applauding crowd as he made his way back toward the door; the clapping gradually made itself heard over the wind, which, without a Pokemon to keep it going, died down again quickly enough.

"Give him a hand again, folks! What a frightfully fun appeal!" Daisy squealed happily, though she was attempting nervously to fix her blond hair, which seemed to have stood up on end. She glanced from the Coordinator's vanishing back to the panel of judges, who were hastily scribbling notes on the clipboards in front of them. "And for our next appeal—"

* * *

Lightning bit his nails. The first appeal, which had been displayed on the screen in the waiting room, did nothing to stem his anxiety. The small rectangular box in the lower corner of the screen wasn't a big help, either — displaying the randomized order of appeal rounds to go, he'd spotted his own name situated at the end of the list. The _very_ end. It was probably some sort of sign.

"Yeah, dude!" a stout male Coordinator cheered, high-fiving Avery as the relieved-looking teenager stepped through the door again. "That was so fricking awesome! And the balloon was so fricking scary, dude! It was, like, the fricking creepiest and awesomest balloon I ever saw in my whole fricking life!"

"Drifloon," Avery corrected through a fixed grin, as "Madalyn Lashinski and Poochyena" were called out for the next appeal. "It's a Drifloon."

"Yeah, it's a fricking scary balloon, right?"

"Hardly." Kaleri's scoff made them glance, curious, in the direction of her slender frame, garbed by her short, stylish sky-blue dress. "I've seen more blood-chilling appeals from a Cleffa. And you _so_ ruined it by shouting the commands like that."

Trying his best to ignore her superior tone and the sick feeling it brought to his gut, Lightning forced himself to focus instead on the screen, where the young female Coordinator tossed a Poke Ball with a trembling hand, unleashing a gray puppy Pokemon with black splashed across its face and paws. Above the judges, the screen once again ticked silently down from the two-minute mark.

Avery shrugged. "Nobody's perfect."

"I beg to differ." She snapped her fingers; immediately Shadowson leapt onto the back of a nearby chair, and she stroked his unremarkable head almost lazily. The Ayell, in spite of the caress, did not change his blank expression in the slightest. "Some people are made great, and some are born great. And the born are better than the made."

_Some have it thrust upon them, too_, Lightning found himself thinking, watching the Poochyena on the screen kick up a cloud of dust that made Madalyn squeal and Violet curl her lip slightly. _She thinks I'm not worth much ... I wonder what'd happen if she knew Fystor had something big in store for me and Leaf? Knowing Kaleri, though ... she'd probably just say it was a nuke._

"Possibly," Avery relented. "But they say you were self-made."

"Shut up and shove your jealousy back down your throat while you're at it." Kaleri's tone was still calm and self-satisfied, though her fingernails dug slightly into her Ayell's skull, causing him to wince ever so slightly. "The best Coordinators draw the best Pokemon to them. Ergo, I'm the Grand Festival Winner, and you're not. So please don't even bother to _think_ about getting the ribbon."

"I never said I was here for the ribbon," he muttered, turning away. Kaleri yawned, peering at the screen as she ignored his retreat.

_"Er ... that was wonderful, Madalyn!"_ Daisy's half-hearted commentary echoed the disgruntled looks on the judges, whose pencil strokes were abrupt and terse on their clipboards. _"Next up, Polly Prudabega and Numel! Give a hand—"_

"I'm hopeless," Madalyn wailed, slouching past the next Coordinator as the even younger girl swept outside. "Poochy couldn't do _anything_, I'm such a failure, I hate life ..."

Peach visibly cringed at the knowledge that somebody could actually be so banal as to nickname their Poochyena "Poochy".

"It could be worse," Avery assured her, nodding toward the screen, where Polly Prudabega could be seen running around in circles. A yellow, stupid-looking quadruped Pokemon was chasing her, lumbering due to the large green hump on its back and snorting flames at her every few seconds.

Madalyn nodded vaguely, still looking worried.

_I really,_ really _hope I don't look that noobish,_ Lightning prayed, cringing as the hem of the little girl's dress caught fire. _Please, Arceus, please ... or Fystor, I guess, she's closer ... please, please_, please _don't let me look stupid. I didn't escape home just to hit a brick wall ..._

* * *

A large, spiky orange crab clicked its huge claw rapidly, sending streams of bubbles shooting through the air and refracting the light ...

A black, slug-like thing leapt out of the pool, scattering water in shining drops as a rumbling cloud of moisture condensed overhead ...

A bluish mess of spaghetti vines trotted around on shoe-like feet, its vines whipping around and sending powder sparkling in the air ...

"How many more?" Leaf mumbled, banging her head against the short wall separating her from the stage.

"Three," Fystor replied a bit distractedly. Glancing at the bird-woman, the trainer noticed her texting on her sleek phone, her silvery eyes narrowed at whatever message she had received. "Kaleri's up next," she added, snapping the phone shut as Leaf tried to steal a glimpse. "After this fiasco with the Bidoof, I'll be glad to watch it."

Leaf huffed. "These are getting so _boring_!"

_"I could always provide a bit of entertainment,"_ the Pokedex piped up; its place of residence, the notorious yellow handbag, sat at Leaf's feet, far from the sight of the various appeals. _"Just point me at the sparkly buggers, and we'll all be happy."_

"You're the only thing that could make this situation worse, Pokedex."

_"Actually, I think a river of lava would make it worse."_

"Thank you, Ernie," Daisy stammered nervously into the microphone, hastily ushering a stout, overly-gleeful boy off the stage; his Pokemon, an equally stout beaver, trotted after him, looking extremely proud of itself in spite of having a stick of ice shoved up an undesirable part of its body. "And now, hailing all the way from Lilycove City, the Queen of Contests herself! Preeeeeesenting ... Kaleri Kutter and Safegirl!"

A roar of cheering exploded in the auditorium as Kaleri herself emerged from the door, waving a peculiar two-fingered wave and wearing a slight smirk. Tossing a Poke Ball into the air, she said not a word, a shocking contrast to her predecessors.

A thin form emerged from the Poke Ball — before the timer had even begun to count down, Safegirl balanced herself on one toe and began to twirl slowly, gracefully, like a ballerina in a tinkling music box. Small bits of light appeared in the air, shimmering, transforming before the suddenly silent audience's gaze into soft-looking glowing leaves, which drifted downward from above, although their exact points of origin were unclear, and they mysteriously vanished into thin air just before they could land gently on the floor. Within the thick frames of her glasses, the Kirlia's red eyes began to glow a soft, subtle purple, which soon changed to a shocking blue-white, then a shade of deep blue — in a rush of gentle color, the blue enveloped her entire body, seeming to carry it upward slowly, gently, as it continued to spin.

"Sophistication at last," Fystor murmured.

Hovering several feet above the ground, Safegirl gazed at the audience through the incessantly falling leaves as she turned, her eyes (once again their normal red) growing wide and gentle, almost pleading — "Awww!" breathed the onlookers in unison, transfixed — before softly humming a throaty, melodic tune. The wordless music soon blossomed into a piping chant, a chant whose lyrics were utterly indecipherable to the human ear, though something about the way the arcane syllables rolled off her tongue made a collective sigh of bliss ripple through the watchers. The tension seemed to evaporate like dew, even as the chant hit progressively pitches in a eerily celestial crescendo. She lifted her delicate arms — the music was almost tangible in the air — and several blue-white comets arced blindingly from the domed ceiling, falling strangely slowly as they threw the upturned faces and their expressions of awe into sharp relief. The balls of brilliant light then exploded silently, though only luminous radiance was thrown about the spacious room, filling everyone's vision with a shining glow ... her voice reached its triumphant peak ...

Everyone blinked in the abrupt quiet. Safegirl stood poised on the floor, the last leaves bursting around her in soft flares of light.

In a sudden reversal of volume, the stands shook with stomping feet as screams of approval reverberated off the walls. Still smiling (and rather surprised that she was actually smiling while watching a Contest), Leaf immediately knew that the appeal hadn't just impressed the audience: Violet and Nurse Joy rose simultaneously in a standing ovation, beaming. Even Eusine seemed to be nodding slightly, although that might have been a trick of the light.

"Gorgeous!" Daisy cheered, the multiple exclamation points seeping into her tone as the excitement broke down her self-control. She looked as though she wanted to hug Kaleri, who had returned Safegirl to her ball without a word and waved at her admirers before vanishing through the door again. "Absolutely stunning! If that appeal doesn't make it to the battle round, there's obviously something wrong with our judges!"

If Eusine had been nodding before this remark, he definitely wasn't now.

"Next we have ... er ..." Composing herself, she took a look at the list of names in her hand. "Um. 'Shorts Man'? What kind of name is that? Oh well. Give it up for 'Shorts Man' and Jabba, everybody!"

* * *

He couldn't move. The horror had numbed his limbs so completely that his hands couldn't even shake with worry. Not only had Kaleri pulled off an absolutely _gorgeous_ appeal — it'd score a twenty-eight at the very least, undoubtedly — but somebody else was taking her place on the stage, appropriately and deceptively childish in his morbidly oversized shorts.

Someone who he'd hoped he'd never see again.

"Oh, geez," Peach groaned from her position on his shoulder. "Not _him_ again. That idiot almost murdered you with his stupidity."

"Sand-Attack, Gust, and Quick Attack upward!" the crazy shorts kid yelled, tossing a Poke Ball. The brown-and-cream-colored Pokemon that emerged squawked nervously as it beat its wings, sending a cloud of dust into the air that sullied the breeze newly born from flapping feathers. With the dirty ring circling it like a tornado, the Pidgey took off high into the air, dispersing the air into an ominous-looking smog that slowly settled to the floor; in the meantime, Jabba zigzagged back and forth, aiming lower and lower with each sharp turn, until he had finally reached the floor again with a frantic flutter and a loud caw.

It was a mark of how good Kaleri was that the applause beat out a half-hearted rhythm: everyone's minds dwelled on her Kirlia's bursts of beautiful light. At the panel of judges, Nurse Joy leaned over to murmur something into Violet's ear.

"Ah ... thank you for that." Daisy brushed off the dust that had settled on her overly fancy dress as the kid flounced toward the door, Jabba following with a series of awkward hops. "And last but not least, a rising Coordinator shining like a shooting star—"

_Stop it,_ he moaned silently, feeling the last drops of blood drain from his face. _Don't say that. Don't._

"—Lightning and Peter!"

"Good luck," Peach whispered, jumping off his shoulder as he stood up stiffly. Shaking off a slight shiver, he mechanically marched toward the door, through which the kid had just reentered the room; by some miracle, the weirdo hadn't caught a glimpse of the anxious blonde, as his crazy eyes were instead fondly caressing the front of his own shorts. He felt the others' eyes burn after him, and with every ounce of will forced himself not to look at Kaleri.

For a moment, it seemed as though he had randomly died and gone to heaven, so bright were the lights that assaulted his eyes. But the clapping pounding his ears from above jerked him back to reality. In the blinding light he nearly tripped, only just barely righting himself. Squinting, he could just see the silhouettes of the watchful judges, and the sudden thought crossed his mind that perhaps he wasn't the only one blinded by the light. _Just do it,_ he told himself, in a valiant attempt at self-assurance. _Like we practiced. Show them what we can do._

"Let's do this, Peter!" he called, tossing the ball in his hand to unleash his Butterfree. "Hound Dog, pattern seven!"

As the butterfly fluttered by his trainer, a confused muttering was heard around him — there was no such move as "Hound Dog", at least not in any G-rated setting — but the whispers died down as Peter rapidly shot several sticky strings from his mouth, grabbing them and whipping them into a strange pattern with stubby hands as they emerged, glistening. Only a few seconds had passed before he held out his arms, triumphant, holding out a strange sort of cat's cradle for all to see. His eyes narrowed slightly, and a collective sound of curiosity emanated from the watchers as they leaned closer in fascination: the strings, already hardening, gleamed with a faint, purplish glow, humming gently.

"Dis is where da _soul_ comes in!" Peter flapped his wings once, sending him floating upwards a few feet and simultaneously releasing twin puffs of indigo powder. At that exact moment — the crowd gasped — brilliant flares of purple, together with an electric-sounding musical chord, blared from the strings in his hands. The Butterfree paused briefly, smirking at their attentive faces. "Like dis, y'all?" he asked redundantly. "Keep your eyes on da 'Free, den, 'cause today da 'Free is da King of Rock!"

Then, in a blast of music and color, the song took flight.

No one could mistake the tune yowling soulfully from the eerie collection of purple-pulsing strings, an electric guitar orchestra in the hands of a fluttering bug, whose every flap of the wings — beating in time to the rhythm of the blues — ushered forth a different pattern of hazy color: indigo, green and violet mixing and matching in a motley yet artistic collection of misty stars, smoky spheres, wisps of smog curling in an intricately jerky dance. Though the numerous notes buzzing from the strings were utterly devoid of any human voice, the words of the music could be heard underneath the clever tangle of sound, as members of the audience found the song's catchiness too difficult to struggle against:

_You ain't nothin' but a hound dog ... cryin' all the time ..._

_You ain't nothin' but a hound dog ... cryin' all the time ..._

_Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine!_

A final burst of color brought another collective gasp from the crowd, as Peter stretched the strings tightly, tightly, drawing out the final chord in a drawn-out, yet oddly satisfying wail. Fluttering back to the floor, he was almost blown away by the cheering ricocheting off the walls, mixing with the song's final, defiant echoes. Somewhere in the stands came a disappointed sigh: the music had ended far too quickly for anyone's liking. Yet the time limit made the cut-off tune necessary, as the timer above the panel of judges flicked quickly to zero.

"You did it!" Lightning squealed. It took all his willpower to restrain himself from hugging the bug: the crowd was still watching and, in any case, the residual powders on Peter's dusty-coated wings would do more harm than good to a human.

"Brilliant!" Daisy's excited voice could be heard booming through the microphone. "That was utterly stunning! That just might have been the best newbie appeal I've ever seen in my entire awesome life!"

Half dazed, the boy turned and started back toward the door on legs whose blood seemed to have been turned to Jello. Catching sight of Leaf and Fystor in the stand, he waved to them, and Leaf returned the gesture, beaming radiantly in comparison to Fystor's usual shadowy smirk.

"Good show!"

A wave of excited chatter rushed over him as he reentered the fold of his fellow Coordinators, rushing toward him in excitement in their half-blind attempts at congratulations. Hands ruffled his hair, thumped him on the back, seized his own with a firm shake. Nodding and smiling discriminatorily, he eventually managed to reach his seat again, collapsing with exhaustion; surprisingly, the pressure had taken a lot out of him. _It's over,_ he realized, as if it were some startling revelation. _The worst bit's over. Waiting is_ so _much worse than actually doing it ..._ He slumped backward, so relieved that he barely cared if he'd done well. The point was that he'd _done_ it, after all.

"Piiiiiiiiiiiii!"

"OOF!" he grunted, as the small yellow mouse collided leapt onto his chest in a flying tackle. "Peach, did you see me? I actually managed to get in a decent appeal!"

"Decent nothing!" Peach crooned, nuzzling his face happily. "It was magnificent ... almost as magnificent as you—"

_"That concludes our appeal rounds!"_ Eyes turned back to the screen, where Daisy seemed to be posing ridiculously. _"And now, the scores from our judges. Let's see what _they _thought of your wonderful appeals! Starting from the beginning, here's how Avery and Drifloon did!"_

Above the panel of judges, the screen flickered, shifting to a long rectangle occupying its top half, playing and replaying a few seconds of short, silent footage of Avery's appeal. The bottom half consisted of three dark squares, one hanging over each judge's head ominously like a hulking, beady-eyed Murkrow.

_"Well,"_ Violet began, tossing her blue hair as if she were Kaleri, _"it was really scary, which is bad. But it's also good, duh. You ruined the surprise a bit by calling out what it was going to do, though. And there were no sparkles. Sparkles make everything better—"_

_"Except vampires!"_ a random onlooker wisecracked. Other members of the audience cheered in approval of the statement.

_"_Especially _vampires!"_ she retorted, looking thoroughly put out. _"Because if somebody's going to eat you alive, he might as well be really, really sexy! Now anyway, the stuff I mentioned is bad, but it was really creative, which was good, so your appeal was ... both bad and good,"_ she said awkwardly, making everyone else sweatdrop. _"So ..."_

She pushed a few buttons on a tiny control panel on the table in front of her; as she did, the number 6.3 appeared in the square above her head. At the sight of it, the crowd clapped politely.

_"I thought,"_ Joy said, speaking up over the relatively quiet noise, _"that ordering Drifloon to hurt itself with Constrict wasn't the best way to do the appeal. A Pokemon must be in _top _condition to pull off a truly first-class appeal! On the other hand, it pulled off a nicely convincing atmosphere, which is always important if you want the audience to really _feel _the performance."_ Her two cents thrown in, the Nurse leaned back in her chair as a bright yellow 7.8 flickered into existence next to Violet's score. The audience cheered again: clearly this roughly reflected its own feelings.

"Nice one, dude!" somebody cheered, cuffing Avery's shoulder cheerfully. The teen smiled faintly, but said nothing.

_"I am utterly astounded—"_ a voice cut smoothly in, causing everyone's eyes to snap automatically to the third judge, whose eyes were closed in a sort of semi-patient contemplation. Avery's face lit up in anticipation, only to collapse into dejection as Eusine went on: _"—that you had the stupidity to make such an_ awful _choice for appeal. I don't pretend to be an expert in these events, but even the casual League fan could tell you that a Drifloon will not learn ... _desirable _moves ... until it has reached a high enough level. It would have been far better if you'd decided to use in the battle round instead, to better accommodate its natural abilities. So unfortunately for you, I wasn't impressed. However, the fact that you managed to pull off an original appeal with such a limited moveset saved you from scraping the bottom of the barrel ..."_

A 4.8 rounded off the trio of numbers. Above them, the video clip switched to a large number announcing total score of 18.9.

"Not bad!" a Coordinator assured him over the sound of the audience grating from the speaker. "Out of thirty, you know? And was this your first time? Because if it was, it was really pretty good ..."

Avery nodded silently, his face carefully concealing whatever thoughts skittered about in his mind. Something seemed to shrivel in Lightning's gut. Avery's appeal had been one of the better ones ... if the judges were going to be that harsh to everyone, his chances of landing in the coveted top eight had just shrunk to Slowpoke-brain size. A new video clip on the screen popped up, displaying a brief recap of Madalyn's appeal, but he didn't think he could watch.

"It'll be okay," Peach tried to assure him. He didn't hear her, of course, and her pointed ears drooped sadly. With a sigh, she snuggled against him comfortingly, trying to convey all the things she couldn't say.

They never could say, later, how time seemed to flow in that fifteen-minute period of waiting. At times the lengthy commentaries stretched on for an eternity, transforming the room filled with Coordinators into some sort of mortal purgatory. But his heartbeats felt heavy with apprehension, and he was only conscious of a few before his own recap appeared onscreen. Sucking in the breath through his teeth, he sat up slightly, listening, gripping the edges of his chair.

_"... perfect show,"_ Violet was saying, as brilliant powders flashed above her. _"Gorgeous. Pretty colors, pretty Pokemon, pretty Coordinator, pretty moves, pretty music. The only thing that was missing was vampires—"_ (Somebody in the audience booed, triggering a peal of laughter.) _"Hey, shut up! But I guess it would've been just a teensy bit hard to put vampires into that."_

Above her head flashed a 8.5. Peach glared at the beaming blunette woman onscreen, hands curling into fists. "She took off a point and a half because she wanted _vampires_?" she snapped incredulously. "He's not going to rearrange his entire appeal just to fit in _vampires_! Who does she think he is? He's Lightning, for crying out loud!"

_"While I don't agree with the vampire love, I'm otherwise as thrilled as Violet about the appeal,"_ Joy gushed. _"Entrancing, lovely, well-planned. _That_ is how a professional appeal looks."_ The 9.4 appearing above her head echoed her praise.

Peach smirked. "_That's_ more like it."

Lightning could only stare. They couldn't really be talking about him, could they? Dazed, he watched Eusine blink apathetically over his steepled fingers. _"It's always best to play to your Pokemon's strengths,"_ the young man remarked finally. _"As I said to Avery, it's difficult to do anything, Contests or battles, with a limited movepool, yet like him you managed to pull it off. Creativity with function ... few novices have a talent for that. The song didn't exactly go with the Pokemon itself, however. Looking at a Butterfree, people would expect some tune that fits its appearance — something light and airy, in most circumstances._ The performance reflects the performer. _Remember that, and you'll get a higher score next time."_

A number appeared on the screen: 7.1. A second later, the triumphant total flashed across Lightning's glazed eyes. He stared as if in shock.

"Twenty-five?" somebody roared over the wave of deafening cheers. "Twenty-_five_? I haven't got a snowball's chance in hell now! Lucky son of a biscuit, why can't I be you ..."

_"And now for the results!"_ Daisy sang out, gesturing at the screen as it switched to a list of names and scores, assorted in descending order. Kaleri, of course, had snatched the top position with an astounding 29.6. On their own accord, Lightning's eyes found themselves almost magnetically attracted to his own name, sitting next to a bold number three.

"Third place?" he asked redundantly. "Third? I ... I made it! _Yes!_" Shouting out in ecstasy, he leapt up from his chair, spinning around his Pichu in his arms. For some reason, music had started to play in his head.

_Here comes the sun,_

_Here comes the sun, and I say …_

"We've done it, Peach! We're moving on to the battling!"

_It's all right …_

Peach didn't respond; the rush of excitement from the scores and from Lightning's hug was making her giddy.

_"Congratulations to our top eight!"_ the blond Waterflower exclaimed over the noise of the audience. _"Kaleri, Beau, Lightning, Bridget, Avery, Madalyn, Kinkira, and ... Shorts Man ... will all be participating in the next round! Give a big hand to everyone, folks, but especially to our winners, because they won, obviously! And now, for a fifteen-minute break ..."_

_

* * *

_

CRASH!

The sudden noise rent the air like an explosion.

Nearly dropping the pickaxe on his toe in surprise, Cobalt swore loudly, swiveling around to see grunts tearing off like headless chickens, although they made a good deal more sound than said birds. Two short gray dinosaur-like things had torn out of a large bush, as huge boulders abruptly burst from the ground before them, leaping at the terrified Rockets with a creepily unnatural gusto, because rocks, as almost everyone knows, aren't supposed to jump. Automatically he flew toward the bag containing the loot; it was, after all, the second most important thing there, aside from himself. _What the hell? And at my moment of glory, too!_

"Cowabunga twisternoodles!" Phlash darted out of nowhere and leapt at the taller dinosaur, who only snorted impatiently and smashed her hard with a rock-tough head. Chittering in surprise, the weasel flew a few feet before landing catlike on the ground, slightly more airy-looking than usual.

A roar made everyone jump: a hulking blue monster, fins sticking up in an intimidating manner, caused the earth to tremble and rocks to explode from the ground with every footfall. A random grunt who happened to be slightly braver than the others sent out a tiny rat Pokemon against the beast; this, however, only proved that he was also extremely stupid, as both grunt and rat were swatted aside like irritating flies.

Something moved in the corner of his eye. Spinning around again, he caught sight of the taller dinosaur scooping one of the piles of bones from next to him, ignoring him thoroughly. "Put that down, dammit!" he yelled, lunging down and grabbing the skeleton with his free hand. Surprised, the Cranidos yanked backwards in alarm, almost sending him tumbling forward; only with his usual awesome powers of balance (or so he told himself) did he manage to stay upright.

"Let go, thieving bastard!" the Cranidos growled back, snapping her beaked mouth warningly. "This stuff wasn't meant for you!"

He only pulled harder, however. It was a comical sight: the Rocket admin, his wig askew, playing an angry game of tug-of-war with a revived monster of the past whose domed head barely rose above his waist. With much grunting and gritting of teeth, neither would give any ground.

But, of course, it couldn't last ...

BAM!

Gasping in pain, he found himself sprawled on the ground, his sack lying close by. He grabbed it hastily, then pushed himself into a sitting position, glancing around instinctually for the skeleton. Instead he saw the shorter dinosaur staring up at him, big blue eyes peering through the silvery steel mask obscuring her face. She tensed herself threateningly, and suddenly he realized that this tiny little thing, surely too little to hurt a fly, was running at him, driving her head against his body and knocking the wind out of it.

"OOF!"

"You'we an ebil tief!" the Aron yelled at him cutely, her voice ringing as his head, hitting the ground, spun dangerously. "You'we ebil and I don't wike you! And awso, you habe absowutewy no wespect fow natuwal wesouwces! I tink you desewve a wong, wong timeout wit no dessewt!"

Vaguely, the humiliating fact registered: a girl was beating him up. A _baby_ girl.

"Hey!" a rabid voice yelled suddenly. "Leave Weird Hair Guy alone! He's the most awesome awesomeburger I ever hammed!" In a blur of pale yellow fur, Phlash's stick-thin body rushed at the Aron, whipping out her claws as she pounced.

Apparently, her scratching wasn't going to do much, as the little dinosaur blinked vaguely. "Someting's tickwing me," she giggled.

"This isn't tickling!" Phlash retorted, trying and failing again to dig her claws into her foe's metallic back from her awkward position, cramped on top of the steel head. "This is Rocket Burger Attack! Also known as Save Weird Hair Guy From The Freaky And Short Dinosaur Midget Thingy! And I'm so good at it, too, because I have the power of French fries to guide me!"

"Cobalt!" a voice chirped: in a flurry of small gray-and-black wings, Rae landed on his head. "Guess what? The dinosaur with the spiky head took one of the skeletons! She's going, going ..." The bird tilted her comparatively huge head. "Gone. Oh wait, she's coming back. I think she's going to come and get the other one. Ooh, ouch, the Swampert just knocked Bulbasaur over. Wait, she's getting up! She's glaring at him! She's giving him a stinging—"

"_Not_ the time for commentary, Rae!" Cobalt chastised, forcing himself into a standing position. Adjusting his wig, his gaze snapped toward the remaining fossil. In spite of his aching body, he leapt at the bones protectively, a sudden movement that unseated Rae as she twittered in midair, then shrilled a warning that came too late ...

A boulder burst through the ground beneath him as if the earth were only water, slamming him in the chest with paralyzing force. The impact sent him tumbling to the side, rolling around as a howl of pain tore itself from his throat. Slamming to a stop against the side of the mountain, he shook slightly, laying there for a moment as the sounds of terrified Rockets and roaring Swampert rang about the area. Clenching his teeth, he very gradually forced himself into a sitting position, leaning against rock as he gingerly felt his rapidly bruising torso. A fresh stab of agony brought an involuntary groan along with it: at least one of his ribs was broken. _Damn that Cranidos,_ he thought finally, watching with tearing eyes as the blue-and-gray dinosaur scampered out of sight, bones overflowing in her stubby arms.

"Emily!" a teenager called, causing Cobalt to glance around, but Roark was nowhere in sight. "Skipper! We've got them!"

The Swampert brushed off Bulbasaur, who glared after him impassively; not even a scratch damaged her freckled skin. How she had managed that was a mystery, as the brute himself, bounding heavily in the direction of the unseen voice, looked no worse for the air. The Aron, meanwhile, shook off Phlash's attempts to eat her, sending the Phrygoil flying with a shake of her head and taking off after the hulking blue creature on her silvery stubs of legs.

_Great._ Cobalt rubbed his face. _Just great. What else could go wr—?_

A phone rang in his pocket. Wincing, he pulled it out, snapping it open.

_"Ah, Mr. Cobalt."_

_I just_ had _to ask, didn't I?_

"Yes, Boss?" he asked tentatively, trying to keep the pain out of his voice.

_"Fly back to Headquarters. There are things we must discuss."_

Apprehension clawed his stomach. "When?"

_"Now. Time isn't my biggest ally, I'm afraid, and I simply can't afford to waste time. After that fiasco over the Shadow-clone trade ... well, you can imagine. Our plans for the Kanto takeover will have to be stepped up, and the sooner the better, believe me."_

"I'm not sure what that has to do with me, Boss," he said as carefully as he could. The last thing he wanted right now was to give the Boss a reason _not_ to promote him, but Cobalt despised following orders blindly.

_"You'll see soon enough. The incident with Severus's arrest ..."_ The voice sighed. _"It's all going rather messily, I must admit. Now Cobalt, head for the Cerulean airport. My plane will be waiting there for you — or rather, for your true identity. Speed is of the essence; I can't afford to arrange transportation for more than one."_

He cringed, but sourly decided not to argue. "I understand, Boss."

_"If only you did. I'll expect to see you at eight sharp."_ A click signaled the end of the conversation.

Cobalt's sigh turned into a pained cough as he snapped his phone shut. _Does he know?_ he wondered. _That his psycho manslaughtering executive wouldn't be in jail if it wasn't for me? Not that I regret it ... the bastard had it coming. But if he holds me responsible ... And the Lapras. He expected me to steal a shiny Lapras, and now I don't even have time to snag a_ normal _one. If he's in a bad mood ..._ The thought turned his blood to ice water. _Then so much for promotion. Damn_.

"Guess what?" Phlash exclaimed, as she and Bulbasaur scampered toward him. "I so beat that crazy hard metal shortfry! She just _thought_ she wasn't getting hurt, but I know she was, because I was using the ancient ninja stuff handed down from the shoes of Ronald McDonald! So of course I was gonna win!"

"They're gone," Rae reported, swooping down out of the sky and landing on his head. "I tried following them, but they'd already taken off. Sorry. Those fossil things weren't important, were they?"

He took a deep breath, forcing himself not to snap. _They wouldn't know about these things,_ he reminded himself. _It's not their fault. Don't yell at them for acting stupid. It's that idiot four-eyes again. To think I actually respected him for helping catch Severus ... well, it's not the first time I've been wrong about people. Damn miners and their obsession for ... well, for whatever miners do._

"Change of plans, guys," Cobalt informed them, ignoring Rae's question. "We're heading back to Rocket Headquarters. The B—"

"They don't have Taco Time, do they?" Phlash's lip curled at the thought. "I really don't wanna run into any of those cactus-worshipping half-buns. They have creepy needle powers, or at least that's what my dead aunt Phlossie told me."

"I really don't care one way or another," he replied bluntly. His eyes roved over to the sparkling city in the distance, beyond the dazed grunts scattered about, shivering in the trees or groaning on the dirt. He'd wanted something more important to do when the Boss had given him this assignment. Well, it'd run into an internally collapsing mountain. Things didn't get more important than that. But now, with fate taking him out of this situation, catapulting him to some as-of-yet undefined destiny ...

_Good luck, kid,_ he thought, remembering the noobish girl he'd been tracking over the last week. _With your track record with danger, somehow I think you'll need it._

* * *

Fur standing up in the excitement, Peach leapt hastily out of the way, crackling with static as she narrowly dodged the purple-green beam of energy. On the screen, Avery's points dropped even further, leaving a yet smaller fraction of yellow in his circle. Frowning, the teenager opened his mouth to give his Pokemon another command, but with a savage war cry — if "savage" here meant "a cutesy yet dangerous squeak warning anyone who tried to beat precious Lightning to watch out" — the Pichu sent another shock of electricity at the bumpy blue mirror, whose eyes crossed as it hit the floor with a clatter.

"Bronzor has fainted!" Daisy squealed over the noise of the audience. "Peach has won this round and will move on the final battle!"

"Great job, Bronzor! And you too, Lightning," Avery congratulated, stepping over and shaking the blonde's hand as he recalled his fainted Pokemon. "Are you sure you haven't been a Coordinator for long? Because you are doing _really_ well ..."

"Thanks." Lightning beamed confidently; the adrenaline had purified his fear-soiled mind as if it were a cleansing by fire. "I've been getting in a lot of practice, and that's been a big help. Have you been doing Contests for long?"

The other glanced slyly to the side. "Not exactly ..."

"And, now, it's our FINAL BATTLE!" Daisy yelled into the microphone, making everyone cringe. Avery, knowing he had no place on the stage anymore, shrugged apologetically as he headed back for the door. "The CERULEAN RIBBON ... a MARVELOUS thing. Competing against Lightning for this MARVELOUS RIBBON is the one, the only, KALERIIIIIII KUTTER!"

The blonde huffed at the sight of his feared rival emerging from the room, as cheers floated down from the audience. "It's all or nothing," he told Peach, who nodded up at him knowingly. An image of Dory's shriveled, broken body flashed in his mind, and he shivered in apprehension. "We'll do this for her," he decided, a steely glint in his eye. "For Dory. Let's give her our all."

"I'm on it, sweetheart!" Peach lowered herself onto all four paws, gazing shrewdly as Kaleri took her place on the opposite side of the stage. Above the judges, who looked rather bored now that they no longer had anything to actually do, a timer set at five minutes flickered into existence over two full point circles, one underneath the name of each contending Coordinator.

_This is it._

In a burst of light, Shadowson appeared before the tensed Pichu. Lightning wasn't surprised — here in Kanto, a Coordinator had to stick with a Pokemon throughout the entirety of the battling portion of a Contest, and he'd seen her bring the Ayell out in her own previous two battles. He _had_ seen what Shadowson could do, however, and hoped Peach would remember to stay on her guard ...

"Aaaaaaand — begin!"

"Plot Shock!" Lightning yelled, at the exact moment that Kaleri ordered, "Double Team with a Quick Attack!"

Peach glanced up at her trainer for a brief moment before smirking, her eyes narrowing plottingly as yellow electricity sizzled forewarningly, sparks dancing on the tips of her hairs. Shadowson, on the other hand, seemed to shimmer for a moment, as if everyone were going cross-eyed; a second later there were, strangely, four of him, all wearing illusory sunny-yellow scarves, blinking passively and looking bored ... even as they lunged at the mouse with a sudden, blinding speed, white streams of air trailing behind them as they jumped in unison—

"Eat this!" Peach yelled, unleashing sudden flares of lightning that struck two of the clones, which flickered briefly for a moment. Only one clone survived alongside the real Ayell, but both slammed into Peach at the same moment, sending her reeling backward. On the scoreboard, a small portion of Lightning's points had been blacked out, owing to Peach's injury. Yet some of Kaleri's points had vanished as well — apparently, Ayell were so visually uninteresting that their very _existence_ hampered their performance. Well, the Pokedex had said Ayell were a challenge ... and he'd be stupid not to take advantage of it ...

"Close range Shadow Ball," Kaleri said calmly.

"Watch out, Peach! Dodge it, then give him a wave!" His own words seemed to reach his ears from a distance. _I'm actually facing Kaleri Kutter ..._ The reality was just so ... unreal.

The twin Shadowsons turned their heads toward the shadow cast by the brilliant lights; as they gave it a brief, intense stare, a globe of darkness seemed to leap from the shadow, flickering an eerie purple-black with a temporary life of its own. Then, simultaneously, the two whipped their heads around again, sending the arcane orb flying toward Peach. Tensing, the mouse leapt into the air, narrowly avoiding the attack by a fraction of an inch; as she hit the ground again, a golden wave of electricity pulsed from her entire body, slicing through the two grayish foes. One abruptly blinked out of an existence, while the other suddenly froze, wailing in agony as his muscles seizing up.

"Dammit," Lightning heard Kaleri mutter; her points had just fallen a by good amount. "Shadow Ball it as much as you—"

_"Leaf McKenzie? Leaf, report to the lobby immediately, please!"_

In the audience, Leaf, who had been intently watching the battle, cringed at the booming echo. Whoever had summoned her via the intercom was a person she'd never seen before, but as all Officer Jennys sounded alike, she knew immediately who it was.

Fystor hissed something to Leaf as the girl stood up, to the displeasure of the people behind her.

"What?" she asked.

"When you hear it, remember that you deserved it," Fystor repeated, a knowing look sparkling in her silver eyes. By then the other onlookers had started to glare at her, trying to get a better look at the stage as Peach was hit in the gut by a swirling Shadow Ball, so with a huff the brunette meekly forced her way past the front row, stomach churning with awful speculation of whatever the Officer had to say ...

* * *

"Hi!" Lily exclaimed excitedly, not taking her eyes from a screen hanging from the ceiling above the desk. From the sounds emanating from it, Leaf didn't have to guess that the Waterflower was watching the Contest. "Isn't this so exciting, Leaf? Your silly lightheaded boy friend is doing so much better than even I thought he'd do!"

"He is NOT my boyfriend!" Leaf retorted hotly, before blinking as she wondered why on earth she'd said it so violently.

"Enough of that." Standing beside the desk, the Cerulean Officer Jenny fixed the girl with an almost pitying gaze. "Good afternoon, Leaf. We've heard you've been in a couple of nasty fixes recently — the bloodthirsty Tyranitar, the Pewter electrocution, and that awful collapse of Mount Moon's internal structure, if I remember correctly."

_And escaping a gutting from a Shadow,_ Leaf thought, _and Vember almost blowing our heads off ... but they don't know about that, of course._ Inwardly she shivered. _All these secrets I'm keeping ... the law's protected me so far, but if they knew about all that ... or if they found out about who caused the Pewter fiasco—_

"The police arm in another city discovered something rather ugly," Jenny continued, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. "Extremely complicated ... and it concerns you."

A vile taste rose in the back of Leaf's mouth. _They know,_ she screamed silently, fear of what was coming paralyzing her. _Somehow they traced the blame to us! They know!_ Horrible images of prisons flashed across her mind, their damned captives pressing their leering faces between the bars. Or would they merely take her briefly into custody, as they had with Ocean? She wanted to believe that, but the voice of reason crushed her feeble hope ... Ocean hadn't destroyed an entire _city_ ... Terrified of judgment, she squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself for the blow.

"I'm sorry." The Officer's voice, oddly, held a heartfelt note of apology. "We would have contacted you earlier, but an issue with one of our top-security prisoners ... well, we were delayed somewhat. According to our detectives, it appears that ... Leaf, I _am_ sorry. Your mother's been kidnapped."


	24. Through the Looking Glass

A chapter that isn't in parts? Blasphemy.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Four: Through the Looking Glass (Enter the Snaggers! Answers and More Questions!)

The shadows inside the office fled as a hand flipped the light switch. "Please, take a seat," the attorney said, gesturing toward a solemn wooden chair in front of his desk; both boasted polished mahogany surfaces, glinting in the electric light.

Of their own accord, Leaf's legs carried her to the chair; she dimly registered the fact that she was seating herself. Her eyes gazed through the attorney without seeing him: the numbness of this new discovery still crashed over her in unceasing tides. _Mom's gone._ It just couldn't be true, she told herself — her mother was an unwavering constant, a comforting presence that she could always return to if the worst came to worst ... if she finally called it quits, if some sort of injury abruptly cut her journey off. Home was the backup plan, in case she needed to fall back on the old, familiar grounds of her early life.

But they were telling her it was as empty of promise as it was of people.

The attorney sighed, running his fingers through well-groomed, deeply vivid purple hair. Though she had never even seen him before, she knew his face well — he was none other than Cerulean's Attorney Jack, the man who, along with his counterparts Joy and Jenny, kept the city running smoothly and efficiently. Together with the local gym leader, they were a formidable force: champions of society whose trade ran in their blood, as much a part of their being as the near-identical features running through the separate families. Standing there before her, in his crisp indigo suit so deeply saturated with color as to be almost black, he should have emanated an aura of confident assurance, silently soothing her that nothing was wrong, nothing at all ... but this uncertain fidgeting, his wondering where to begin, muffled her feeble hopes even further. Jenny, standing attentively in the doorframe, looked just as confused, blue-green hair frazzled under her officer's cap.

"The Viridian force snapped these during investigations," Jack told the brunette finally, withdrawing a few photographs from his pocket and passing them to her. Accepting them with numb fingers, Leaf's eyes widened at the shocking sight of the first photo: her house — or rather, what had once been her house — stood smoking, sunny yellow paint peeling disgustingly from charred walls. The front door hung precariously from a single hinge, revealing the shadows creeping from the unlit entry hall. The tree she had once climbed almost religiously as a child? Snapped almost in two, its top half still attached by a sole fibrous sinew, the entire once-proud giant now twisted and flaking, life-sap coursing down its trunk from ominous gouges. The little flower gardens in which Lecky could often be seen raising the sprouts tenderly, where mother and daughter had always planned half-jokingly to spend time planting berry bushes? Burnt beyond recognition. Through the smashed windows of the dead house, shadows of policemen could be seen, searching for some sort of clue. Right on the edge of the photo, a ribbon of brilliant yellow tape — Caution: Do Not Cross — flashed warningly.

She didn't want to look at the others. This one was far more than enough to handle. Somewhere behind her eyes, pools of salty liquid formed.

"Abnormal activity was reported as far back as four days ago." Jack's voice seemed to reach her brain sluggishly, as if the ears with which she listened didn't belong to her. "A neighbor says that she approached the house at one o'clock PM with a plate of cookies. When she knocked on the door, she wasn't concerned when nobody answered — she thought your mother had gone for a walk. So she left the plate on the doormat and went on her way, thinking they'd be picked up when your mother returned. At 8:25 that evening, she called your house to ask what she thought of them. Nobody picked up." He paused, turning a solemn gaze to his wide picture window; the urban panorama gleamed with brilliant afternoon sunlight. "No signs of life came from the house over the next couple of days. The neighborhood's concern turned to worry as phone call after phone call went unanswered. Yet they knew she was still in the house — the cookies were broken and scattered across the porch, and the car still in the driveway.

"And then, at 4:15 this morning, a loud crash caused a neighbor to alert the authorities. Ten minutes later, when Jenny's Viridian cohorts arrived on the scene—" He nodded respectfully to the Officer, who still looked uneasy. "—The intruders, whoever they were, had fled. Your mother wasn't there, but investigators could tell immediately that she had, for whatever reason, been hiding herself before the kidnapping — curtains drawn, signs that the doors had been bolted. The evidence suggests she was aware that somebody was watching the house ... and perhaps she even knew her abductors' identity."

Twin tears streaked down Leaf's cheeks. _Stop it,_ she snarled at herself automatically, blinking hard and sending more moisture sliding freely down her face. But even her anti-sobbing mannerisms couldn't compete against the awful, gut-wrenching reality. _She's gone._

"Kans?" a voice by her feet asked, accompanied by a soft slithering. Stifling a hiccup, she looked to the floor to see a bright purple snake gazing up at her with yellow, concern-filled eyes. Lifting its long, sinuous body up the floor, it offered her a white handkerchief, held delicately in its mouth.

"Thanks," she gasped, accepting the cloth and dabbing at her face.

"I'm sorry," Jack said, looking awkward. "If I may?" He gently withdrew the photos from Leaf's unresisting fingers, then flipped through them until he found whatever one he was looking for. "This," he explained, staring at the picture, "perhaps backs up that theory the most — that is, her familiarity with her abductors." He looked at her over the photo's edge. "Trainer records indicate that Lecky the Electabuzz was her only Pokemon. Can you verify this?"

Leaf nodded shakily. "Yeah," she warbled.

Jack returned the nod. "Everyone we questioned in Pallet Town agreed with you," he said. "Which begs the question ... how does _this_—" He flipped the photo around to face her. "—back it up?"

Her eyes widened at the single object in the picture, sitting on musty, bloodstained carpet: a small steel chest gleamed in an investigator's light, a broken padlock hanging limply from its gaping lid. Within its soft, padded depths was absolutely nothing — nothing at all, aside from ten deep hemispheric indentations, the five in the lid matching those of the other five within the stuffed compartment.

For a moment, her dry mouth worked uselessly to form the words. Then, with a great swallow, she gasped, "Were there—?"

"Poke Balls? Yes. Detectives have determined that these aren't just your average store-brand varieties, either." He pointed at the marks on the inside of the lid; looking hard, she realized there were indeed further grooves marking the insides of those half-globe indentations, the places where the spheres' top halves would have nestled. "This was a Net Ball," he said, indicating one with a bold crisscross pattern covering its entire area. "And a Fang Ball—" (A snarling pair of incisors.) "—Dusk Ball—" (Round patches, denting the indentation very softly.) "—and Luxury Ball." (A crisp, shiny circle circumscribed around the hemisphere's otherwise smooth peak.) "And that last one ... well, it's just a normal Poke Ball," he finished lamely, causing Jenny to facefault.

Staring at the photo, Leaf's confused eyes mirrored the thoughts chasing each other around in her head. _But that's not possible!_ She shook her head as if to chase the picture away. _I've never even_ seen _Mom with any Poke Balls besides Lecky's! And those kinds ... where would she have gotten them, anyway? She can't have any other Pokemon, she just can't!_ Her gaze flitted over the Net Ball's indentation again. A frustrated shiver shook her fingers: why was this whole thing reminding her of Paris?

"And they found _this_ on the floor," Jack said, placing a small token on his desk; Leaf leaned forward to see a small, silvery disk-like object, with the letter "G" glinting enigmatically from its surface. "I assume it's a calling card of some sort ... but I doubt it's one of the crime syndicates. None of them start with G, do they, Jenny?"

"Rocket, Snagem, Magma, Aqua, and Divinity," Jenny listed, counting them off on her fingers. "No, I don't think it's them."

_And Cipher,_ Leaf almost put in, though she stopped herself in time: mentioning the secret Shadowfiers might lead to several awkward questions for Bill, and she wasn't completely sure that his radio equipment was legal. Besides, Cipher didn't start with G, either. "But what does my mom have to do with all of this?" she asked finally. "Why would they take her away ..." A teardrop in her eye glistened treacherously, and she blinked it away with a sniffle.

"It could be a _new_ syndicate," Jack said mostly to himself, not seeming to hear her. Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, he stared at the "G" as if it were some sort of code.

"A new syndicate ..." Jenny let the thought trail off as the full implications of what Jack was suggesting hit her. "You can't be serious, Jack. How could a criminal group gather adequate funds and recruit members without our knowledge? Teams don't bloom overnight, after all. And even if these 'G' people really are a syndicate, why are they only showing themselves now?"

The two officials contemplated the problem, leaving Leaf to brood over this latest string of shocking discoveries. _Mom,_ she wailed silently, staring out the window as if willing the thought to cross the unknown stretch of space separating them. _Where are you, Mom? What's happening? Why didn't you ever tell me about_ them? _Who are the G people, and who are you really?_ And all the while her heart broke into increasingly smaller pieces in longing for the innocent life she once led, and for berry bushes that would never grow.

* * *

"And here she comes." Fystor tossed her hair in a dramatic flip of her head; the bronze tresses fluttered like feathers in the breeze. A smirk played at the edges of her mouth as she watched the brunette teen approach, the grassy gap between them shrinking with deliberately even steps. "Finally been knocked down a peg or two, have you? Well, I won't say I didn't warn you."

"Shut up," Leaf muttered, shoulders hunched.

The bird-woman raised an eyebrow. "'Shut up'? Really? You know, somehow I don't think that's the smartest thing to tell a god to do."

She didn't bother to give the legendary a reply. Her mother's unknown fate weighed heavily in her mind, as heavily as the newly given money weighing down her pocket, as if the cold, hard cash was the remnant of her mother's shriveled corpse. _Don't think that_, she snapped at herself, pushing the morbid notion out of her head. _Of course she's still alive. She_ has _to be._ But even the conciliatory thought couldn't keep a lump from forming in her throat, which she tried and failed to push away with a dry swallow.

From their seats in the grass, the two boys watched as she struggled to keep her tears down. In his fist Lightning could feel the soft fabric of the aqua blue ribbon, dotted with a pattern of white bubbles. For a moment after it had been presented to him by a giddy Daisy, he'd felt nothing but a joyous, lightheaded dizziness, the bright colors of the ribbon dancing in his vision as he leaned down to scoop Peach off the floor. Kaleri, of course, had been nothing short of furious. _"Too good for a tiebreaker?"_ she'd snarled, storming past the unconscious form of her boring Ayell to snap at the smiling MC, a Cerulean Ribbon clenched in her own hand. _"What do you mean, 'too good for a tiebreaker'? This is NOT standard procedure in the case of a double knockout! There's supposed to be a sudden death match, in which the more talented Coordinator — me, obviously — is decided once and for all!"_

Daisy, in response, had chirped something about the Pichu's brilliant yellow fur sparkling beautifully throughout the entire performance, while Ayell, according to her, "amazingly didn't just stare at her without doing anything pretty", to which Kaleri had responded with a sharp order to go and do something anatomically unlikely to herself. And Lightning, standing there in the center of the stage, had felt for the first time in his life like a real winner... of course, it had only been a few seconds before the shorts kid had rushed out at him, beaming and squealing like a fanboy, but the success was still there, all the same.

But now, with the news of Leaf's mother gone, the confidence and triumph had fled, replaced with a painful, wrenching empathy twisting in his gut. What would it be like, he wondered, having a parent solidly giving him comfort and advice throughout his whole life, only to have that parent snatched from his side by fate? Even the possibility seemed alien. Stroking Peach's furry head absently, he couldn't help thinking that somehow, in spite of the exciting climax in the Contest Hall, his victory had been empty and hollow.

His feelings, however, were not shared by the other teen: leaning languidly against a convenient boulder, Anni sprawled across his ankles as she snoozed peacefully, Roark's eyes narrowed behind his glasses as a wave of satisfied vengeance surged inexplicably within him, mingling with the by now all-too-familiar fear and fury of horrors past. _Finally, you know what it's like ..._

"Well, you're ready now, at any rate." Fystor yawned, as if this entire setting was beneath her.

Leaf blinked, staring at the woman. For a moment, the meaning behind the statement eluded her, drowned out by the cutting despair — but the silver glint in Fystor's eye brought her back to reality: the reason for all these terrible, crazy happenings, and hopefully some just-as-wacky solution, were soon to come. With a deep breath, she pulled herself together. "Fine," she snapped, letting her fear and sadness fuse together and sharpen into a hungry blade of anger. "Fine. Let's see what could _possibly_ be so important that you had to slap me with my mom's disappearance."

"It wasn't me," the woman replied calmly, turning away from Leaf's tense, furious frame. "It was, as you put it so well, the 'G' people. But enough of that. It's time to let you people in on the situation ... but first, I'll introduce you to your fellow questors."

"What d'you mean, 'fellow questors'?" Leaf asked with a scowl, as Fystor brought her tanned hands to eye level. "This is about _us_, not some ragtag little bunch of misfits! And no, we're _not_ the same thing—"

A soft burst of sound, like a muffled implosion, tore the words from her mouth as wind rushed past them in a sudden whirling gale, tossing everyone's hair to and fro. Alarmed, the boys leapt to their feet — Anni, jerked out of sleep, snorted as she clambered to a more alert position — and they all stared in apprehension at the wind's source: an expanding green-blue circle hovering before Fystor like a mirror. The circle, casting a strange, celestial light on their open-mouthed faces, seemed to be filled with whirling, colorful images chasing and blending into each other, shapes incomprehensible one moment and almost defined the next. Then its lower edge brushed the grass, and immediately the circle's growth ceased, its diameter roughly four feet across, though constantly fluctuating with its strange shimmering. At the same time, the wind died down, reverting to its previous state as a gentle summer breeze.

"What the hell is that supposed to be?" Leaf asked in a strained voice: the unexpected show of power had left everyone holding their breath. "Is it some kind of portal that you want us to go through, or what? If it is, too bad, because I am _not_ walking through that weird thing."

"Not a portal, per se." Fystor dropped her hands, squinting at her swirling creation as if searching for something. "But let me assure you, it would _not_ be a good idea to walk through it. The consequences would be most dire."

She blinked. "Dying, you mean?"

"No. The Aura Glass is meant for far-sight, not instant teleportation. Thus, setting foot through it would result in immediate paralysis, followed by the flesh dripping off your bones before various body parts are scattered throughout the dimensions. And _then_ you would die."

Lightning blanched. Peach, sensing his nausea at the graphic description, patted his ear soothingly.

"Ah, there they are," the woman declared, as the images within the circle paused in their dance, then threw themselves into a single, focused image. The scene was lit with the stark noontime sun — wherever this place was, it was far from the breezy Kantoan cape fluttering with a fresh evening breeze. Beneath the blinding cloudless sky, an expanse of grayish-brown sand stretched unbroken to the distant horizon. Unbroken, that is, aside from the tiny makeshift camp situated near the Glass, comprised of a broad tent — or, more appropriately, a large blanket propped up on four knobby sticks, to block out the intense sunlight. A strange motorcycle-type vehicle, its reddish paint worn with sand and age, shimmered like a mirage in the heat; under the blanket, however, a few shadowy figures could be seen stretched lazily on the ground, presumably sleeping.

One, however, was sitting straight up and staring directly at them. The strange girl's sparkling blue eyes widened with curiosity, before her trusting face widened with an excited grin. "FYSTOR?" she shouted. "FYSTOR, IT'S YOU!"

The tent exploded with startled, abrupt motion: a dark shadow leapt to four feet, snarling, while a lanky human form beside it flailed in surprise, swearing violently. Something unleashed a bloodcurdling yowl, which abruptly ended with a loud shriek and a painful-sounding smack. Then, as was expected from the beginning, somebody smashed against a stick, causing the entire structure to collapse on top of them, the blanket draping their thrashing forms. The girl who had awoken them, however, didn't seem to notice this, as her relatively still form kept yelling at the legendary from under the blanket.

"FINALLY, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO GET BACK TO US FOR AGES, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS HOW MANY WE SAW, WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE, DID YOU KNOW SOME LIZARDS _AREN'T_ PURPLE, GUESS WHAT I—"

"You know something?" Peach asked nobody in particular, absentmindedly twirling a blond curl of Lightning's hair around her small yellow hand. "Weird as the idea is, I think that these people are even odder than we are."

"Pipe down, people," Fystor told the mysterious group calmly, as if they really were sitting just a few feet in front of her instead of thousands of miles away. "These are the other ones I went to find, remember? Come out before you all get suffocated."

The strange girl's head popped out from under the blanket, revealing a mop of orange hair, comprised of chin-length side bangs and twin spiky pigtails. "Oh, okay," she said, standing up and dusting herself off. Her outfit drew a raised eyebrow from Leaf: the stifling heat in that foreign desert should have deterred her from wearing that fur-lined blue jacket and fuzzy pink boots, even if they did look gorgeous with the deep purple tank top and white miniskirt. "I just, you know, was so excited to finally see you again, 'cause you're so cool with that aura stuff! And by the way, guess what? We actually Snagged a couple Pokemon, isn't that great?"

An exasperated voice wafted from under the blanket. "For the love of Shaymin, Rui, I told you to let _me_ do the talking."

"But talking's fun!" Rui pouted, turning to the figure awkwardly getting to its feet, a steadily rising shape whose outline could be seen under the blanket. "Like when we were facing the puffy dude, and he was talking in time to the funky music? That was so funny! Plus, he was almost cool!"

With a sigh and a lofty sweep of the hand, the other person tossed the blanket away, revealing himself to be a tall, lanky young man, possibly a year or so older than Roark. If Rui's attire had been out of place, than his clothing was nothing less than downright stupid — dressed in some sort of black suit from the waist down, he also wore an enormous blue overcoat that flapped dramatically in spite of the lack of wind. But the truly ridiculous thing about him was the funky-looking machine covering his arm, a contraption matching the color of his coat while also boasting several bright red wires, which spiraled upwards from the slot beside his hand to the padding over his shoulder.

"Sorry, Fystor," he said respectfully, nodding in deference; his silvery hair sparkled with the movement. He then turned to the astonished teens staring back at him, and his huge almond-shaped eyes narrowed even further (Leaf decided he bore an astonishing resemblance to an elf). "But these ... are you sure they're the right ones? They don't _look_ particularly gifted."

"Yeah, well, guess what? You don't look too special yourself!" Leaf exploded, turning bright red at the insult. "All you're doing is wearing the funny machine thing, is it supposed to compensate for something?"

The boy's face blushed a delicate purple. "This is a state-of-the-art mechanism that'll topple the entire underground Shadow trade," he shot back, fury coloring his tone. "Somehow I think it'll do more good than a midget blonde, a dude with a tacky helmet, and a chick toting an ugly bag and a weird orange Gameboy Advance."

She fought the urge to try to leap through the Glass and punch him in the nose. "You jerk! This bag is _not_ ugly!"

"Yeah, and this helmet is a lifesaving essential in potentially unstable caves!" Roark, too, looked rather ticked off, though his emotion was still a far cry from Leaf's volcanic rage.

They both looked at Lightning.

"What can I say?" he asked, shrugging. "He's right about _me_."

"Time to die, suckers!" a voice growled evilly: a thick, snakelike head shot out from under the blanket, thin pod-like protrusions growing in a ring around the base of a long neck. For some reason, Rui shot the Pokemon an uncomfortable look, which went unnoticed. Curling his lip, the Pokemon snapped his head around at the strange boy's foot; the boy barely managed to jump over the scythe-shaped leaf jutting from his forehead. Red eyes flashing in frustration, the Pokemon made to try and cut the boy again — only to freeze as a faint purplish glow surrounded him, before his head was slammed forcibly into the sand with a solid thump. "Ow! Cut that out, freakazoid!"

"Stop being a psychotic maniac, then, and let me help you!" another Pokemon retorted, sticking her own head out to glare at him. The cat's lilac fur was smooth and pristine even in this harsh environment, though the large tufts on either side of her large-eared head were rather frazzled. The ruby-red gem on her forehead glinted as she shifted in the sand.

"Don't even bother, Espeon," the boy told the cat, shooting the reptile a cautious glance. "That can't be how to deal with Shadows. You can't even reason with them, let alone purify them, so why try?"

"Because there's still good in him!" Espeon gazed up at him with huge dark eyes. "I can feel it! It's in there, waiting for the right catalyst to set it free ... and fly like it used to, tireless as a bee ..."

"Wow." Another mammal stuck his head out on her other side, his long ears sticking straight up from a head covered in jet-black fur. Yellow rings circled his ears and forehead, and he rolled his crimson eyes in mock empathy. "You're a poet now, Espeon? Surely _that'll_ drive out the evil, because nothing says 'Begone, foul demon' quite like pretty words that sound like each other."

She stuck her tongue out him. "Shut up. OW! I _said_ don't do that!" she snapped at the reptile, who snickered in satisfaction before getting his head shoved into the sand again.

"This is all very cute," Fystor said serenely, "but introductions are yet to be made. These three," she told the kids in the desert, who were trying to ignore the Pokemon's antics as best they could, "are Leaf, who is extremely annoying and self-righteous at the best of times—"

"Hey! Take that back right now, Fystor! I am _not_ annoying, and you know it!"

"—Lightning, who can't find his own feet without tripping over them—"

"That's stretching it a bit, isn't it?"

"—and Roark, also known as Mister 'Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen', and won't stop moaning about it."

"Yeah, well, maybe if _your_ dad had—"

"And these guys," the woman went on, talking right over everybody's protests, "are Wes, who's seen the error of his past ways and therefore can't _possibly_ do anything wrong, and—"

"And I'm Rui!" exclaimed Rui, beaming. "I sort of got kidnapped by evil people, but Wes saved me, 'cause he's awesome! But then it turned out he was evil actually, but not really, but I wasn't okay with that for a while because evil people are evil, but then I decided he was cool since he saved me from the other evil people and that's not what an evil person would do, and then he used the thingy to steal Pokemon from other people, which isn't an evil thing to do 'cause the Pokemon were evil because the evil people made them evil, which _is_ an evil thing to do, and I helped him with it 'cause I can see which Pokemon are evil 'cause of their evil aura stuff, which maybe means I used to be evil, but maybe an evil person just put that idea in my head when they kidnapped me to get me discouraged, which is an evil thing to do, I think, and yeah. Oh, and I found out that even fish dance to disco." She grinned at them cheerfully, making everyone sweatdrop.

"… That's great," was all Leaf could manage. She gave Fystor a questioning look, which was ignored.

"We've used it to Snag a couple of Shadows," Wes said to the woman, lifting the machine thing on his arm for emphasis. "Just like you told us to. But I seriously don't know what good it'll do, Fystor. Looking at their attitude, anyone can tell it's impossible to purify them."

"Well, duh!" the reptile snarled, spitting out a mouthful of sand. "I'm too sexy for my shirt … I mean, I'm too evil for my shirt! Screw that, I'm too sexy _and_ evil for my shirt, hell yeah!"

"You're not _wearing_ a shirt," the black Pokemon pointed out.

"Exactly, doofus!"

"It can be done, actually," Fystor told them. "Just by spending time with them and trying to bond with them. If the Beast doesn't kill you, that'll confuse it and weaken its hold while simultaneously strengthening the soul. And I'm pretty sure some scientists over there in Orre are investigating other methods as well."

Wes blinked. "Really?"

"See, Umbreon?" Espeon stuck her tongue out again. "I was even doing it right, too! Bayleef's already on the path to redemption, and we can save him from being damned, I mean, **Crushed**, and we can all live happily ever after!"

"Whatever, sis," Umbreon said, rolling his eyes. "As long as the bugger stops being a Pokecidal moron."

"Hey, I'm right here, you know! Filthy Bibarel," Bayleef spat.

"They can be cured?" Leaf asked, as if Fystor hadn't just said so.

"Yeah! Hey, Leaf, I bet we can tell Bill to hang out with Clefairy, and he'll help its soul get freed!" Lightning grinned at his own idea, because no idea is quite as genius as informing a psychotic billionaire to become bosom buddies with an equally psychotic pink fairy of doom.

"Oh, Lightning, you're so smart!" Peach gushed, stroking his ear.

"Silence!" Fystor demanded suddenly, making everybody jump. "The Lady herself … has arrived."

Everyone looked around automatically, expecting to see some mysterious Pokemon emerge out of nowhere, but no one showed herself. Indeed, in Orre, a giant tumbleweed chose that moment to bounce across the sandy backdrop, while an unseen Wingull cried on the far shore of Cerulean Cape.

Yet Leaf could swear she heard voices …

_I. And it came to pass that I was transported to a strange place, in which I could see …_

"_That idiot had better not call me Minnie again,"_ somebody muttered as the first went on, _"or else I'll snap off his scythe and stick it where the sun doesn't shine, so help me Mom."_

"_Behave thyself, my daughter,"_ a deep, mighty voice chastened quietly. With the low, almost inaudible rumble, a wave of gentle peace rippled throughout the area, soothing Leaf's aching heart in spite of her stubborn refusal to let go of the resentment.

"…Where?" Rui asked finally. Then she beamed as a thought occurred to her. "Ooh, wait, is this like one of those games where the hero is a god or something reincarnated? That'd be so crazy, and fun, but also scary because demons would be chasing us and trying to steal our hit points, but that's a silly thing for them to do, because my Silver Arrows were upgraded to Holy Silver Arrows, so all that happens is we get more experience points!"

Wes could only facepalm repeatedly in disgust.

"No," Fystor replied, smirking again. "She's watching through another dimension, along with Shaymin and a prophet. The prophet's a safeguard, in case you were wondering. It'd be hard explaining the entire thing to you, so let's just say this: the time from which he comes is about as stable as it gets, so his prophecy is definitely going to exist in every timestream. And, as myth tells you over and over again, prophecies usually come true, especially if it's in spite of somebody trying to prevent the actual event from happening. So his being here is pretty much all that's keeping you all from being erased from existence, since he's writing about you."

"…" Leaf said, her head spinning with the convoluted logic.

"_I shortened his purpose even further,"_ Shaymin said, _"to two words: bloody nuisance."_

"Um …" Lightning rubbed his temples, looking confused. "Could you say that slower, and so we can understand?"

"Of course not. Messing with your heads is too much fun. Now …" She turned away from the blonde's pained expression, reaching out toward the Aura Glass with a long finger that, as it delicately touched the Glass's unseen surface, somehow had taken the appearance of a hooked eagle claw. "We'll start with a brief lesson in basic theological hierarchy to help you better understand what's going on, yeah? To start, take a look at this …" She traced a few shapes on the glass, which somehow showed up as sketches outlined in green-blue, seemingly floating before their wide eyes. "At the top are the legendaries, or gods, who hold absolute power over their respective domains. Some are more powerful than others, but that's a debate for another time. It's obvious, however, that Mom … that is, Lady Arceus … is unquestionably the ruler of the gods." She gestured toward a stick drawing of a horse with a spiky ring around its midsection, which mysteriously began to gallop around the others as if it had been waiting for a signal.

"_It beareth an astonishing resemblance to mine self,"_ the deep voice commented, amused.

"Beneath them," Fystor continued, tracing a line to keep the legendaries in the top section of the Glass, "are the angels, or demigods. The offspring of legendaries and mortals, or of other angels and mortals." Strange half-human, half-Pokemon shapes appeared as her finger brushed the Glass. "They're not born with nearly the power of us legendaries, but with time and training they can give us a serious run for our money. They, like us, have the power to take on mortal shapes as well as divine ones.

"Next we have mortals." Twin vaguely human-shaped stick figures were traced on the Glass, one with a triangle on its body that was probably meant to be a dress. A circle with triangle-shaped fins and a cat with spiky ears joined them. "Humans and Pokemon. They don't do much, but it's amazing how high maintenance they are. Oh wait, they're you guys. Never mind, then.

"Beyond mortals …" She cleared her throat significantly. "The Dark Side awaits. No, they do _not_ have cookies. Oh, they'll have _illusions_ of cookies, to be sure …" Her lip curled as she drew a few hooded figures, floating eerily. "Nice, big juicy cookies like independence, love, cash, friends, fun. But by the time you finally figure out they're only illusions, you're right where they want you. They're the demons, or chaotics, or glitches, whichever you prefer. And the Shadows fit in this category, too, because of the whole inner darkness thing.

"And then, below them all, so vile and foul and powerful that he deserves his own dank, dark level …" Fystor hissed as she drew a spiky, undefined cloud of darkness. "Apolydon himself. The ultimate evil, devoted to his twisted goal of destroying all other life. He gets a kick out of using servants to carry out his plans, though. They think they're so clever, 'ooh, I'm tricking Apolydon somehow, I'm so clever,' but no. Why should he care about them any more than anybody else?"

Anni shifted nervously. "So, this evil bugger wants to exterminate us?" She glanced around, as if expecting a giant foot to appear out of nowhere and squish them flat.

"I didn't say exterminate," Fystor replied, a knowing look in her eye. "I said destroy. They're not necessarily the same thing. Basically, he wants to enslave every creature that's ever lived — even the ones that have passed on to Giratina's realm — and feed on their **Crushed** souls for all eternity, an undying parasite."

"Like a vampire." Lightning shuddered.

She nodded. "Definitely like a vampire."

There was a moment of silence as her words sunk in. Beyond the distant beach, waves crashed against each other in their perpetual dance. Even Bayleef had stopped sputtering venomously to listen, head cocked to the side in curiosity.

"Um," Rui remarked at last, "that's mean of him. But I don't know what we're supposed to do. Is there, like, a bracelet or something he made long ago, and we all need to go and toss it into the fires of Mount Battle in order to finally end his evil reign? Or did he put bits of himself into seemingly ordinary objects, then scatter them across the land, where they'll sit guarded by dark magic until we find them and try to destroy them? And if one of us is one of the objects, and I don't think it's me since I don't have a funky scar, then do we have to let him kill them?"

Everyone stared at her.

"I don't know her," Wes muttered to nobody in particular, embarrassed.

"That's … not how it works." Fystor seemed to be struggling to keep a straight face. "He isn't just an evil, Rui. He's THE evil. Emphasis on 'the'. What would _really_ need to be done to stop him … well, the stronger he is, the more souls he can **Crush**. A literal vicious cycle. Now, if somebody died as a Shadow, he or she would automatically be **Crushed**, since the Beast was in control. The recent Shadowfying process that Cipher's come up with is practically serving him souls on a silver platter. More souls have been **Crushed** in the last decade than in the entire KanJohto War."

"The War of Western Aggression, you mean." Like most Kantoans, Leaf was a tad testy concerning the name of the civil war that had raged between Kanto and Johto over a hundred and fifty years previously.

Fystor rolled her eyes. "Oh, you people. I just _love_ how you can listen to the demonic stuff without flinching, yet get riled up over the _name_ of a conflict that happened before your grandparents were born. But ignoring that issue … the main point of your mission is to find and purify the Shadows. It'll severely cut off his source of power and buy us time — us being Shaymin, Lady Arceus, and myself — to investigate the legendary and angel ranks for signs of corruption."

The kids looked at each other warily: everyone wanted it to be said, but no one would actually say it.

No one, that is, until the silence wore on Rui enough that she finally declared, "You're crazy!"

And that was all that was needed for a breakout of vehement disapproval of Fystor's plan, punctuated every now and then by a snarl from Bayleef, a thump from his head, and a chuckle from Umbreon.

"What the hell, _purify_—?"

"You want noobs to do this stuff, seriously—?"

"What makes you think we'd have the time to bond with every single Shadow we come across, I mean, honestly?"

"This is ridiculous, that'd mean you, Shaymin and the Lady are the only trustworthy legends—"

"We'll get killed, and guess what? I don't think we have enough pixie dust for that!"

"This is a joke, right? Of course it is. Your legendary buddies are snickering at us from above, aren't they?"

"Do angels and corrupted even belong in the same sentence?"

"SILENCE!" Fystor's voice sliced through the air, along with the unanticipated flash of lightning flying out of nowhere to char the ground before her into ashy dust. Immediately the teenagers shut up, blinking nervously. "I understand it's a lot to swallow, especially for mortals that've barely crawled out of the cradle, but just be quiet for a minute while I sketch it out further! Holy trucking Mother, you're driving me insane!"

"'_Holy trucking Mother'? That is a new one to mine self,"_ the Lady murmured to herself. _"Shaymin, from where thinkest thou Fystor thought of such an oath?"_

"_No idea."_ Shaymin's statement seeped sarcasm.

Fystor exhaled in the tense quiet. "_Thank_ you. I suppose it's Q-and-A time for Professor Fystor, then. Bugger, this is sure to annoy the hell out of me. Anyway: no, this is not a joke, although the Twins might see it that way. Of _course_ I don't expect you to buddy-buddy enough with every last one of the vicious monsters to skip off into the sunset in the limited time we have. Rui, I hope you're joking about the dust, because if not, you've obviously snorted some. Leaf, you weren't listening, were you? So shut up. Roark, I'm afraid that, for the time being, we're going to have to assume you're right. Legendaries wouldn't be on the wrong side for power alone, they've already got as much as they can handle. But the problem is that at various points in time, one or another has seen mortals and occasionally even angels as useless wastes of space, so it's very likely that some will team up with Mister Evil just to wipe them off the face of the earth." She sighed. "Folly at its greatest … Shaymin and I are the only two who actually think like humans do, so we can empathize with mortals almost too easily. So we consider them worth paying attention to, usually. And Lady Arceus loves her little creations so much, don't you, Mom?"

"_Indeed. Their lives be all the more profound for their brevity."_

"As such, we're the only three we're currently _certain_ aren't willing to start gunning down mortals. Even your traditionally benevolent gods – the Latis, the Necrans, Skarbimi, Cresselia – aren't necessarily benevolent now, at this moment in time, so it'll take some searching on our part to figure out which are on our side. Yes, believe it or not, we're _not_ going to sit on our rears while you people do all the work! We're legends, not bureaucrats!

"And the angels … hopefully the majority will have more sense than Vember." She shook her head; whether it was in despair or disgust nobody could tell. "If your general mental image of angels involved cheery humans wearing halos, descending from heaven and singing tidings of comfort and joy to the sound of triumphant trumpets, then take that image and burn it with hellfire. They have no more reason to be kind and sympathetic than mortals have. They can be ruthless with their power, corrupt with laziness, or drunk with fame. Some are notable politicians or celebrities or tycoons – you undoubtedly have heard of their fame, though their parentage of course wouldn't be widely known. Others are terrified of their own powers and are liable to lash out at anyone who pries into their lives. Old age doesn't affect them – when it comes to death, that's all that separates them from mortals, although they're still resilient to injuries, which means they usually go out with a violent, painful death. Dying terrifies them. If they see something as a threat, they won't hesitate to destroy it.

"And unlike gods, angels can be Shadowfied. They inherit Beasts from their mortal side, and when those Beasts take over, they turn into serious bad news. At this moment, there's only one thing more dangerous to you guys than an angel, and that's a Shadow angel, because while the former's power is tempered with reason, the latter's got no second thoughts to shield you from its killing blow. The greater they are, the harder they fall."

Her eyes, which had been fixed on an undetermined point and clouded with contemplative shadow, blinked, then flickered upward; the silver irises snapped back and forth somewhat irritably at the sight of the fascinated humans, intently listening to her speech.

"Hmph. Didn't mean to turn this into Angel 101," she huffed, shaking the pensive thoughts from her head. "Although I suppose too much information is better than none at all, in cases like these. But back to the point … Wes, you and Rui'll be doing pretty much what I've been telling you to do this entire time: Snag Shadows, purify, repeat, as much as it takes to bring down Cipher. Simple enough outline, yes? Although you'll have to watch out for Snagem too, they weren't exactly thrilled when we destroyed their base."

Leaf, still reeling from Fystor's spiel, could only blink as the world flooded back to her; she was caught halfway between believing the legendary's words, and thinking that this entire thing was just a bad rehash of some overused manga plot.

"True. Although I must say, _I_ was quite thrilled to see you decided to bring acetone peroxide." A devilish grin stretched Wes's face; a light shone in his golden eyes, kindled perhaps by Fystor's vivid descriptions of the demigods, although to Leaf it seemed more likely that it was because he was fondly recalling some memory of blowing something up. "That really did quite a number on them. TNT is _so_ overrated—"

"You _blew people up_?" Lightning's eyes bugged out in horror. "What the heck, that's so barbaric! You can't just make them expl—"

"I didn't make _people_ explode!" Wes retorted, brandishing the machine on his arm at nothing in particular. "I made the Snagem hideout explode, there's a considerable difference! Granted, probably half of them are buried under the rubble, if they weren't severely burned by the heat … but that's justifiable, seeing that the lot of them are crooks!"

"It's still cruel!" the blonde cried. "The stories of bombings they told me were _horrible_…" He trailed off with a shudder.

Leaf frowned, glancing at him over Peach as the mouse attempted to soothe him. "Who's 'they'?"

Lightning, of course, was too worked up to reply, but it wouldn't have mattered if he had, anyway; breaking from twin expressions of frozen shock, Roark and Anni had joined the verbal fray.

"_Collapsing the roof on them?_ Don't you have _any_ idea how easily a human can be crushed by just a square half foot of rock?"

"Sick bastard. Go blow _yourself_ up, let's see how you like it."

"You're so mean!" Peach shrilled, glaring at the Orreans as she coddled Lightning. "What'd you have to go and do that for, weirdo?"

"Don't call our trainer a weirdo!" Umbreon spat back at the mouse, long ears pressed against his head as a protective expression tightened his face. "And he was doing the right thing, shorty! If he hadn't done it, there'd be even more chaos going around than there is now!"

"—And that's _with_ the proper safety precautions, and how many people do you honestly think were wearing helmets when it collapsed?"

"They were evil people, they deserved to die. Anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves!"

"And anyone who says what _you_ just said is a soulless asshole."

"SHUT UP."

Fystor glared from one person to the next as everybody abruptly fell into silence, looking back at her abashedly. Beads of sweat glimmered on Lightning's forehead as he shivered. Just on the edge of her vision, Leaf swore she could hear the unseen prophet muttering to himself as he wrote.

_XDVII. And there came a deathly silence as all pondered the chance of the mission succeeding. For verily, it seemed to mine self as though the likelihood of the humans cooperating peacefully was as great as the flame burning without heat, or the frost of morning blazing like unto wildfire, or hell itself freezing over—_

The voice was cut off with an abrupt squeal.

"_That's for liking the sound of your own voice,"_ said Shaymin smugly, ignoring Arceus's soft rumble of chastisement.

"I'd ask if you'd all really think you can go through with this," Fystor told the intent mortals, mirroring the prophet's words. "But since you're all bound by fate to do this, none of you has a choice in whether you do it or not, so there's no point in asking. I just _hope_, for your sake, that you learn to _get along like good little mortals_ unless you want to get **Crushed** like empty soda cans."

She glared at them, power emanating quietly from behind her wise silver eyes.

"Got it?"

A vague chorus of mumbling consent answered, punctuated by another thump; Bayleef muttered "Damn," his mouth full of sand again.

"Good. Anyway, you all know what you're supposed to be doing, so maybe I can finally—"

"Um, not really." Roark rubbed the back of his head, glancing over at Wes in disgust. "You didn't tell _us_ what you wanted us to do."

She blinked. "Oh. Well, you people were yakking at each other … here's the deal, you three. Believe it or not, I _don't_ know everything, so I went and asked Uxie – _the_ Uxie – some questions. The bugger wasn't particularly cooperative, but one of the most important bits he told me is that, since the main importer of Shadows is Team Rocket, it's essential that they get taken down in order to topple Cipher's influence in Kanto. But, he said, it'll be even harder to do that than we originally thought, because some members of the Kanto League are also Rockets."

They gasped in horror. Bayleef's snicker at this was quickly cut off.

"Yes, some of the most powerful trainers in the region, gone to the dark side. Of course, with two of you being noobs and the other being an anti-evolution nerd, it'll hardly be easy. Which brings you to your first step: train. Get stronger. By all means, keep going on your badge hunt thing; it'll make it far simpler for you to meet up with the gym leaders and get an idea of what they're like. Don't actually confront them about it until you're sure you can really thrash them, though. We don't want Leaf's big head ruining it for everyone else."

"Hey!"

"But …" Lightning's protest drifted weakly in the air, unfinished, as he realized Fystor wasn't going to take no for an answer. Cornered into the mission, he shivered again, apprehension flickering in his eyes.

"Of course, _you_ want to go searching for the Lapras instead," the woman told Roark, who nodded silently. He blinked in surprise when she added, "And I'm telling you to do that. Uxie said it'd be smart for you if you kept your head down for a while …"

"Why?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why do you think?"

The color drained from his face. "So … he _is_ looking for me."

"Bingo."

"Well, so much for _not_ getting killed."

"Just don't draw attention to yourself," she repeated. "Anyway, there's the plan. Plain and simple. Any _more_ questions?"

The five humans glanced at each other. After the legendary's talk of vengeful angels, the truth about what they were actually supposed to do seemed almost mundane.

"Before I take the Aura Glass down, I want to say one last thing. I'll expect you people to keep in touch with each other with those … _interesting_ machines." She smirked knowingly. "Thanks to fate, you've got far more in common than you know."

A brief moment of silence after they had registered her words, Wes groaned. "Oh, _no_. And here I was hoping we were going to let them think Rui was the weirdest thing about us. Why, Fystor? Why?"

"I know, I'm so awesome that way!" Rui agreed, beaming. "I just reached the rank of Wyrd Sister a couple days ago. But at the rate I'm going, I'm sure I'll get to High Priestess in no time!"

"_I thought you people told me to be quiet,"_ an electronic, rather feminine voice remarked a bit grumpily. _"It'd really be more convenient for everyone if you just made up your minds about whether you want me to talk, all right? I swear, getting stolen was_ not _the greatest thing that ever happened to me!"_

On Cerulean Cape, the three teens did a double take at the unexpected new speaker.

With a shaking finger, Lightning pointed in Wes's direction. "Is …" he breathed, hardly believing his own words, "is the … did your machine just _talk_?"

"_It's not that hard to speak directly to_ me," the voice replied rather edgily; it seemed to be emanating from the Snag Machine on Wes's overcoat-covered arm. _"I have a mind too, you know. In any case, what makes you so sure I can communicate with these people, O Fystor? I don't work nights as a telephone."_

"_Hot damn!"_ the Pokedex cried out from Leaf's yellow handbag.

"… You? _… Oh, bugger."_

Wes's mouth dropped open; Rui, on the other hand, seemed to be too busy gloating over her Wyrd Sister status to see how this was out of the ordinary.

"_That's_ how." Fystor smirked.

"_Of course it's me,"_ the Pokedex went on, trying to drop down to a sultry baritone and failing miserably. _"I'm the sexiest circuitry you ever met, doll. What's a girl like you doing clear out in a place like Orre? Last time I heard, you were battling a nasty bug in Hoenn."_

"Bug?" Lightning asked, though as usual everyone ignored him.

"_I suppose you also heard I liked Mudkip,"_ the Snag Machine replied coolly. _"Either way, my life is none of your business, so kindly shut up."_

"_Business after pleasure, love. Business after pleasure."_

"As you _might_ have guessed," Fystor interrupted, looking perversely pleased at everyone's expressions of strained confusion, "the Pokedex and Snag Machine are … acquainted with each other. Due to a long set of events that would hurt your heads just trying to follow, they can connect with each other long-distance to give you people relatively simple communication."

"But …" Leaf rubbed her aching temples; the day had held far too many surprises for her. "But how did that even happen?"

"_Like I'm going to tell you, Naaaarrrrrrrgh,"_ the orange machine said in a snarky voice.

"_She wouldn't believe you even if you did,"_ the other pointed out.

"_You wound me, doll. Seriously, that infected my CPU with sorrow."_

"I _could_ tell you," Fystor said, cutting off Leaf's persistent demand to be in the know, "but you don't need to know every detail about them. Unless you want everyone to know what Ocean told you last March?"

She gasped. "No! I mean …" A furtive glance, as if checking to make sure nobody else understood. "I promised him I wouldn't tell!"

"Good." The bird-woman honored them with her trademark smirk. "You keep your secrets, everyone else keeps theirs. Fair enough, don't you think?"

To this, the girl could only glower in vague humiliation, angry that Fystor was holding one over her head. _Even legendaries aren't above blackmail,_ she thought darkly, taking care that the thought permeated her entire body to give the woman a nonverbal retort.

If Fystor could read that, however, she wasn't letting on: she had already placed her hands before her, the air humming softly around her as the Glass began to fill with translucent, undefined images. "They'll get in touch with you," she assured the Orreans, who didn't look as though they sincerely believed that. "The Pokedex has its ways. In the meantime, I'll be meeting up with you behind Outskirt Stand in a couple of days."

Wes nodded slowly. "Okay, we'll be there."

"_Good for you, Legolas,"_ the Pokedex said obnoxiously. _"But mark my words, you'd better not be thinking you can spear the Machine with your longbow, if you know what I mean."_

The young man flushed red as he realized its hidden meaning, though the color was difficult to see behind the thickening haze.

"_You brute!"_ the Snag Machine snapped at it. _"If you think that's a clever ploy to get me to swoon for you, you'd better destroy your current hard drive. Because I certainly don't want any contraption with parts that can form such stupid thoughts."_

"_Well, there_ is _another part of mine that I_ know _you want. And it's hard … and has a LOT of drive—"_

"POKEDEX!"

_Fwwwit._

Everyone blinked in surprise: the Glass had abruptly vanished, leaving no trace that it had ever existed aside from the line of singed grass before them. As it did, the prophet's voice finally trailed off into silence, as the feeling of love dissipated into a chilly nothingness, and with a shiver Leaf scowled as she realized that she'd been interrupted _again_.

"… Where'd it go?" Lightning asked stupidly, glancing around as if expecting it to jump out at them.

Fystor turned toward them, her hands cupped around a tiny sphere of sparkling blue-green light. "Here. Or rather, the power that formed it is here. Recycling is important, remember that." She stared at it for a moment before it winked out of sight. "Well, that was productive. Anyone up for dinner?"

It was a mark of how strange the latest events had been that it took them a full minute to realize that she meant it.

* * *

"Well, I took your advice," Bill called from the pantry, his voice muffled. "I'm pretty sure I have something else in here besides casserole. Of course, I may have to dig further back to find something … wow, I haven't been to this corner since 2005. Oh, _there's_ the motherboard I was looking for—"

"Anything besides casserole," Peach muttered, gazing from the table along with the others.

Everyone else's feelings of agreement were somewhat vague; they were still chewing on the facts Fystor had just told them, shooting each other sideways looks every now and then as if unsure whether they had all seen the same thing. Fystor, of course, had no such gripes, considering the more immediate plan action as she drummed the tabletop with impatient fingers.

Frosti nodded. He glanced at the grimy window, from which the dim red glow of the setting sun shone weakly. With a shiver, he bit his lip. "Will we really have to do this mission thing?" he asked nobody in particular.

Anni shot him a suspicious glare. "How'd you know about that?"

In answer he pointed at Fystor, who smirked at his gesture even though her back was turned.

"Oh, yeah," the Cranidos realized. "Aura stuff. Duh. Well, it's still a bit Farfetch'd to me, but personally I'd rather look like a fool than get my soul smashed up, if you know what I mean. So yeah, it'd probably be a really smart idea to follow through with it."

Cheri's antennae twitched. "And to destroy _his_ influence would be the honorable course."

"Mhm. " Peach nodded slightly. "Plus, it'd be really exciting. But I really don't want my poor Lightning to get hurt." She patted her trainer's head, though he didn't seem to feel it: something about the day seemed to have shaken him, and he stared after Bill with unfocused, anxious eyes, sweat still beading his brow. "I'll have to keep a tight leash on him, the sweetie."

"AHA!" Bill exclaimed, extracting himself from the pantry. He held in his hands a bag full of thick stringy stuff, coated with puce fuzz. "Spaghetti," he added, noticing everyone's confused looks.

A heartbeat of silence followed as they wondered if he actually believed that they thought it was a good idea to eat something that might have been made before their great-grandparents were born. Then there was another, more philosophical heartbeat as some of them wondered how many angels existed who were as old as that spaghetti.

_BANG_ went a chair as it slammed backward into the wall, making everyone (besides Fystor) jump.

"That's it," Leaf snapped, standing up. "I'm gone. You three, follow me."

Stress tensing her muscles, she marched out of the kitchen, ignoring the fact that their eyes were boring into her retreating back. _This is too much,_ she thought edgily. Flashes of the past twenty-four hours flitted through her brain: screams of terror, snapping bone, her ruined home, Wes's cynical expression, the drawing of spiky darkness … _Too much._

She was halfway up the stairs, still seething in furious resentment, when she realized that her Pokemon were being strangely quiet. A sharp remark formed in her mouth as she swiveled to face them, but it died in her throat as she realized why she hadn't heard them: they weren't even there. She was standing halfway between floors, stupidly alone. Jaw set, she pounded down the stairs again.

"Didn't you hear me?" she hollered, marching back along the hall.

Frosti's voice echoed from the kitchen. "Yeah."

"But I'm hungry!" Parvati complained, in a my-mouth-is-full-of-moldy-food voice.

"Then come on!" she ordered. _Why the hell do they have to be so difficult?_

But Cheri's single word rang authoritatively.

"No."

She froze, foot lifted comically off the floor. Nails bit into her palms as she clenched her fists. "Ex_cuse_ me?"

"No," Cheri repeated. "Life hardly revolves around you, human. We are not in battle now, so we cannot be expected to cater to your every whim. But even greater than that, you cannot comprehend even the problems under your nose, much less the great cosmic struggle we have been caught up in."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" she snarled.

"You know, it's kind of awkward when somebody you can't see is shouting at somebody next to you," Lightning commented almost thoughtfully.

"Some things are better off not seen, though." Roark's voice, too, was pensive.

With a poorly restrained shriek of rage Leaf stormed away again, stairs passing beneath her stomping feet in a blur. _Damn them,_ she thought furiously, her emotions teetering dangerously out of control. _Damn them. Damn Fystor, damn Mom, damn Cheri, damn angels, damn everything!_

It was only within the confines of her room, when the door had slammed thunderously and the sun's dying light dripped through the window, when she flopped onto her untidy bed with her face buried in her pillow, did she let go of the last remnants of control and did what she never, _ever_ let anyone see her do.

She cried.

* * *

The dark heart of the city thrummed with the noises of the night, of low rumblings of protesting buses and shrill wails of frantic sirens. From the sky-high buildings towering over the gridded roads, mellow lights gleamed enigmatically, concealing the stars in the shroud of night that was fast approaching. Most of the citizens had already returned to their homes, leaving an odd stillness on the corner of Fourth and Broadway, a relatively less crowded portion of the downtown area.

But any idea that the scene was quiet was quickly shattered.

"Yeah! Take that, phatty. That's whatcha get when you mess with the phollowers of Ronald McDonald!"

A pained sigh. "Phlash … cut it out."

"Didja see me, Weird Hair Guy? I totally kicked them a long ways phrom here!"

The tall shape of the admin staggered out of the darkness, halting as he gazed up at the building before him. It made up for its comparatively dismal height with the display of glowing neon decorating its exterior, culminating in the blazing red letters of its famous name, blurred in his vision. In spite of his agony, his face broke weakly into a pained smirk. _Finally, I've returned …_

"But really," his Phrygoil babbled rabidly, scampering past him, "it was so phun. Maybe now they can join up with the phaith and worship the bubbling egg, too!" With a clatter of claws, she cheerfully chased after a tumbling paper bag, undoubtedly the discarded container of somebody's oily lunch.

He rubbed his head, readjusting his wig slightly. "Great …" He cut himself off with a hacking cough; droplets of blood flew alongside saliva. How in hell had he kept it together on the plane? Somehow, the pain had gotten even worse with every passing step. "Phlash, return."

"Aw, but I was enjoying myselph," she pouted, before disappearing abruptly into her Poke Ball.

Replacing the sphere on his belt – his hand was hurting, he realized vaguely – Cobalt lurched through the narrow doors of the building, the crippling pain lancing through his chest clouding his mind more with every throb. He was only dimly aware of the smoky atmosphere billowing outwards as he entered the stuffy building. Rather than looking around at his darkened, hazy surroundings – he'd been here a million times before, anyway – he headed toward the security guard, leaning against a nearby silvery wall with a lazily watchful eye. Around him, loud club music drilled into his skull. Someone outside his vision laughed shrilly.

As the admin dizzily approached, the guard jumped to attention, glancing around furtively before murmuring, "Welcome back, Mister Cobalt. We've been expecting you."

Cobalt nodded. He didn't trust himself to open his mouth: it was all he could do not to faint. In his head, the need for healing whispered: _Sleep …_

The guard's eyes narrowed in concern. "Are you all right, sir?"

He only winced, almost doubling over as he cradled his injured ribs. _Damn Cranidos_, he thought faintly. _Damn Stealth Rock._

_Sleep ..._

Colors swam before his eyes in a blurry haze, so he could only dimly hear the guard's voice hissing, "… appears to be injured. Summon Team doctors, I repeat: summon Team …"

His last semi-coherent thought was of what the Boss would think, now that his pride was stripped away with this awful loss of control …

_Sleep._

And then he hit the floor.


	25. How to be a Nobody

I really like this chapter, personally. I have no idea why ... oh wait, maybe it's because this is the one where the Cerulean arc ends! (Finally ...)

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five: How to Be a Nobody (Regret and Repentance!)

Trekking through the towering stalks of wheat, a spiky-haired boy grimaced as his hand throbbed again. The authorities had finally released him, returned his freedom. Yet the many lines had left their mark: his right hand was so cramped from its grip on the pen that he couldn't uncurl it without his muscles screaming in protest. So he went on, a virtual cripple and yet a free one, for he was no longer recognized as a public menace by the overbearing police.

In their eyes, he was once again a nobody.

A smirk played at his lips as the thought crossed his mind. A slight rustling in the wheat nearby caught his attention, and his left hand automatically plucked a spare Poke Ball from his belt. Twirling in his fingers, he stood very still, waiting for the unseen Pokemon to come to him.

And come it did: a tiny star-shaped Pokemon waddled right across his path, oblivious to his presence. With an almost lazy motion he tossed the red-and-white sphere at it; the pink creature, large brown ears twitching at the faint sound of the Ball soaring through the air, squeaked in surprise as she caught sight of it. She turned to run, but the Ball had already opened, converting her into a mass of bright red energy and drawing her slowly inside. With a soft snap it shut, trapping her inside in spite of her struggles to free herself: it _pinged_ cheerfully before it hit the ground, sending a small cloud of dust flying.

His grin widened as he stooped to pick up the Ball housing his new Cleffa, then gazed around as he replaced it on his belt. Fire had to have come by this way, he knew, remembering the other teen's talk of defeating the gym leader in the next city. That was before they had separated, he remembered, as he set off through the field again. Before he'd been forced to return to Officer Jenny and her loud, snapping mouth, while Fire was allowed to move on with his life. But they'd meet up soon enough, whether Fire wanted that or not. He'd make _sure_ of it.

Whistling a half-forgotten tune, Ocean continued trudging through the sea of endless grain.

* * *

_She dreamed she had flippers._

_There was an ocean of pain, its waters chopping and violent, and she was swept along in its current. Even if she could have escaped the pull, it'd be pointless: the path she followed was lined with ivory spears pointed inward, and orange blood pooled beneath them, staining the water dark. Overhead, two huge, hulking Pelipper cruised overhead, and their young Wingull offspring followed right behind, pumping their wings ferociously just to keep up. As she watched, one of the Pelipper swiveled around in midair, snapping at the smallest Wingull with its huge beak – in a single bite, the larger bird tore off a frantically fluttering wing, which dropped like a stone into the water – strange green-blue stuff poured from the gaping wound in place of blood. With a pained shriek the victim attempted to keep its newly deformed body aloft, flapping its remaining wing uselessly—_

_At the splash, it exploded into a flurry of bloody icicles._

_One struck her, tearing a hole in her side as it sank into her flesh, and she cried out in shock as it pierced something deep inside her. Some dark fluid oozed out, dripping around the icicle and into the ocean, where they hissed with sudden bursts of escaping steam … and to her horror, a voice in her head struck up a whispering chant:_ die, die, die, die, die, die …

_A small chunk of ice, shaped like a beady eye, floated past her, bobbing along in the waters. Through the haze of pain obscuring her vision, she blinked blearily as the current turned it in her direction, and it glinted with the reflection of the blood-red sky, glaring at her murderously as if this was somehow all her fault. Then, with a strangely soft sound, it imploded, forming a vacuum that churned the water into great, swirling whirlpool that seized her in its swirling motion, dragging her down into the newly-formed vortex, ignoring her shrill screams._

_die die die die die die die die die die_

_Her strength ebbing away, she turned her exhausted gaze upward in despair, too numb with pain to even show surprise at the sight of the thing floating above her in the sky. What she had thought was the sun was instead a flaming baby-blue eye, watching the current pull her under. Its dark laughter echoed around her as water poured into her lungs—_

"NO!" she yelped, her eyes snapping open, staring at the ceiling in transfixed horror. She took a deep, shuddering breath, feeling her lungs expand painfully before finally releasing the air in a long exhale. Twitching her fingers almost reflexively, she sighed in relief, the tension in her body ebbing slightly. _It was only a dream …_

But even as the fear drained mercifully away, the guilt still paralyzed her: the sudden, ugly revelation that it had all been her fault.

_My fault._

She squeezed her eyes shut as tears threatened to fall. _She counted on me to take care of her,_ she thought, despair poisoning her mind. _So small and innocent … Even if I wasn't her actual mother, that's how she saw me. I was at her hatching, I brought her up, I showed her the world …_ She swallowed hard, memories welling up in her brain.

_A horn cracked through the shell, followed by a small, dark head, dwarfed by two huge ears. Two huge black eyes squinted in the sudden rush of light._

"_Pras?" it squeaked._

"How could I _do_ that to her?" Leaf moaned, fists clenching in regret. "She'd hardly grown any older since then. I wasn't just an idol to her … I was her coach, role model, and mom, all rolled into one. She looked up to me like I was a star. Maybe it went to my head in the end."

"_Will you protect me, Mommy?"_

"_Of course I'll protect you, Paris …"_

"I could always count on her to love me, no matter what …"

"_Mommy! You came back!" squealed the Lapras, bowing her head down to nuzzle Leaf's face._

"Even if my own stupid selfishness blinded me to that."

"_You're not the Pokemon I thought you were. You never were, really …"_

"And in return, I ditched her like yesterday's news."

"_I'm releasing you."_

"_Please, Mommy …"_

"_If it was all for nothing, then the cause is pretty much worthless, isn't it?"_

A soft tap startled her from her troubled thoughts. "Hey, Leaf …"

"Huh?" She glanced over the edge of the bed to see the wide, expectant eyes of her young cat Pokemon gazing back at her. "Oh. Morning, Parvati."

"Morning. Hey, you should come downstairs. You've been sleeping for _ages_, and Bill's got breakfast ready for us!" The Meowth beamed, licking her whiskery chops. "Well, he did at first. But then I got really hungry, because it smelled soooo good, and me and Eevee got into a fight over who could eat it first … I won."

She sighed, her head falling back onto the pillow with a soft thump. "That's great, Parvati. Really great."

"Hey …" With a graceful leap, the cat leapt onto the bed next to her, tail flicking from side to side as she tilted her fuzzy head in concern. "You okay, Leaf? You don't seem really with it. You look kinda sad, actually."

_Really?_ the girl thought tersely. _I had no idea._ Then she blinked, realizing with sorrow that it was that kind of thinking that had driven her to abandon Paris. Swallowing hard, she turned her head toward the large window, through which sunlight streamed cheerfully. _I have to stop acting like this,_ she told herself firmly. _Or else I'll lose another Pokemon …_

"C'mon, tell me what's wrong," Parvati pleaded, nudging her blanket-covered arm with a soft white paw. "I've gotta know. Fystor told you yesterday that you needed to cooperate with the people you're working with," she added, squinting one eye in an attempt to look sly. "So cooperate with me. Tell me what's bugging you."

"I'm wrong," Leaf mumbled.

Parvati leaned a little closer, putting an ear in her trainer's face. "What?"

"I said, _I'm_ wrong!" the brunette moaned, burying her head under the fluffy pillow. "If I hadn't been so stupidly selfish, Paris'd still be with us! I couldn't look past the stupid indigo scales … to me, it was like nothing was under them." She huffed dejectedly. "Too damn short-sighted of me."

"Paris is your old Lapras, right?"

"Mhm."

"Well." With a brief tensing of muscles, the cat casually sprung up onto Leaf's shoulder, where she sat down as if she owned the human rather than the other way around. "You knew what you were doing when you released her, right? Then why're you only just now seeing what's wrong with it?"

"Dunno," Leaf said, voice muffled. "Maybe I needed time to figure it out. Or maybe it was Mom being abducted — because, you know, I had to feel the pain she went through before I could understand why I shouldn't have made such a stupid mistake. Having a constant female role model torn away from you … it's important to have one, especially these days with all the stupid arrogant boys telling you that they make better trainers. At least you know where _your_ mom is …"

A soft crash emanated from downstairs, followed by the sound of Peter's snickering. A stray ray of sun crept over the lower edge of the window, catching Leaf's eyes in a blinding stream of light. With a sigh she turned her face away, gazing instead at the shadow she cast on the wall. Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, she wished above anything that this mess had never happened. Cleaning up mistakes was too painful a job, she had only now realized.

"Run that by me again?"

She sniffed involuntarily. "What, the whole thing? Something about figuring it out—"

"Not that. You said, 'They make better trainers'. Personally, I think that's a weird thing to say. I mean, from what Mom and I have seen, there're so many different paths that trainers follow. Some are meaner than others, but not all the nice ones are good at training. What's the difference between a good trainer and a lame one, then?" There was a brief pause in which she allowed her words to reach Leaf's brain; then, kneading her forepaws into Leaf's shoulder, she continued. "From what Frosti and Cheri have told me, you've got a great competitive spirit. But y'know, you get kind of … focused on things … so much that you end up hurting people's feelings. Maybe that's how a good trainer is supposed to be, and maybe it's not. But still … I think that there's a reason you guys are called _Pokemon_ trainers. It's kind of, you know, about _us_ rather than you. Of course, the fact that you're feeling sorry about Paris might mean I don't even have to tell you this, but …"

The words hung in the air long after Parvati had finished speaking. Only the squawk of an unseen Pidgey somewhere outside disturbed the contemplative silence.

"Sorry," the cat finally murmured after a few moments. "I guess it's not really my place to lecture. Just an idea, I guess …" She trailed off awkwardly, curling her tail around her paws and biting her lip in embarrassment.

Leaf, becoming painfully aware of the pressure her face was feeling from the mattress, lifted her head ever so slightly. _Is that true?_ she asked herself. _Was this really going on from the second Frosti and I met? Snapping at them like I do … I'm like Fire, back when he was an insensitive jerkwad. But the abuse, if there was any, was so subtle that until I abandoned her, I was the one they were rooting for._

_I was the hero, weirdly enough._

_Ha! If that's heroics, give me a crash course in villainy._

With a grunt, she began pushing herself up; Parvati, cat that she was, nimbly jumped to her trainer's side as the girl moved blearily into a sitting position. Sighing, she looked down at her Meowth, who returned her gaze with a tilted head and wide, expectant eyes. _What am I going to do?_ she wondered. _I can't hurt them like I hurt Paris. But hell, how am I supposed to change? It's not like I'm playing some lame video game where I can try again if I screw it up. And I might end up making things even worse! I know for sure I won't be able to forgive myself._

_Although … Fystor was acting like she knew everything about it. Of course, that might just be aura, but maybe she could give me some ideas about what to do._ The legendary's insufferable smirk popped up in her mind, but she brushed it aside with a mental wave. _After all, who knows how old she_ really _is — she's bound to have seen a case like this before. And really, any argument besides "give her to me" is a good argument in my book._

"Don't be sorry," she said aloud, giving Parvati a wan smile as she scratched behind her ears. "Yesterday I would've said that it's not my place to _be_ lectured. Just goes to show how wrong you can be about yourself, doesn't it?"

Parvati responded with a contented purr, rubbing her head against Leaf's palm. The warm metal of her forehead coin rubbed against her skin, but she concentrated instead on the soft vitality of her creamy fur. _It'll be fine,_ the girl told herself, watching her Meowth close her eyes happily. _It's not a long shot; Fystor never misses a chance to put me down. And she's sure to have the best solution, in any case. Nothing can go wrong with_ this _plan, surely …_

* * *

"Gone? What d'you mean, 'gone'?"

Lightning flinched as a spray of food flew at him: Leaf was currently tearing into a granola bar, tossing its shiny wrapper into the steadily growing pile of similar wrappers sitting on the table before her. Carefully keeping a straight face, he wiped the spittle from his nose, forcing himself not to show disgust. He couldn't really blame her for her unladylike behavior, as she hadn't eaten in over a day — _Most people have never gone that long without food,_ he had to remind himself — and Bill's miraculous discovery of the box shoved somewhere at the back of the pantry had triggered in the ravenous girl a reaction similar to that of a Scyther finding itself in a locked room full of tiny red Pokemon. Still, letting somebody demand an answer of him with a mouth full of food was getting on his nerves. It was definitely getting on Peach's, at any rate: the small electric mouse glared furiously at the girl from her usual position on Lightning's shoulder.

Facing them from the opposite end of the table, Roark rolled his eyes. "By 'gone', we mean 'she's already left'," he replied. "I'm really, _really_ hoping you already knew what that meant."

She glared at him.

"She left this for us to find, probably a long time before we even woke up," he went on, sliding the paper sitting in front of him towards her. "Bill didn't see it, obviously. He was still raving about his calculations for 'the air velocity of a Swellow', which is why he didn't notice it in plain sight on the table. If Fystor didn't expect that, I'm a girl." He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms.

"But you _are_ a girl, Obi-Wan," a voice by his feet crooned in mock adoration.

He sighed. "Anni, if you're making another crack about my hair—"

The rest of their bickering faded into the background as Leaf scanned the note.

_I've headed out. Before you start complaining about it, remember that I'VE got things to do too. It's called responsibility, for the love of Mother. In any case, I already did an Aura Burn to hide you people from Vember when she regains her senses, so you'd better be happy. And after I check in on those bloody Twins, I'll have to oversee Wes's and Rui's progress along with your own. Group advice: don't make me have to save you too many times, all right? It pisses me off._

_Lightning: Your Pokemon are happy. KEEP them happy. Reason? Two words: The. Shadows._

_Roark: The Lapras isn't strong enough yet to fight ocean currents, so your best bet is following them. I think that on this coast they move south, at least during this time of year. I may be wrong, so ask somebody about it. And keep your bloody head down if you want to survive._

_Leaf: Next gym leader's a psychic, so MAKE SURE everything in your big head isn't floating around for any telepath or aura reader to see. Oh, and BTW, quit being an asshole._

_One bit of common sense here – if you run into an angel, DON'T get into a fight with it if you can help it. Remember its name instead, or at least its face. Using your brain is a GOOD thing, FYI. Now hurry up and get out of Cerulean before Vember tracks you down. You people weren't chosen for nothing._

_Fystor_

She continued to stare at it, unseeing. The blood drained from her knuckles as she tightened her grip on the edge of the chair. Her heart plummeted as she realized that she couldn't wait for Fystor to check in on them, that she'd have to think up a painful solution all on her own – but considering how horribly she'd abandoned Paris, anything she thought of wouldn't cut it with Cheri and Frosti.

Something audibly bumped the table, and her gaze tore away from the paper instinctively, only to inadvertently lock with a pair of burning black eyes staring back at her from the dank shadows of the kitchen. Frosti's expression was inscrutable. An orange flame flickered as his tail swayed to and fro, back and forth, as precisely timed as a clock's ticking pendulum. After several seconds, he finally sighed moodily and moved behind the counter, vanishing from view.

_I can't do this without them,_ she thought, mechanically tearing another bite from her granola bar. _And I can't pretend I can boss them around like it's nobody's business anymore. But how am I supposed to make it right? They fought for me, even when they thought it was pointless. And that's just_ one _of the debts that can't be repaid._

"— and a beard," Anni was saying. "A shaggy druggie beard, like the pedo had in that one Christmas movie, before he had to become the new Santa when he smashed the old one with his van. Which reminds me, we should get strawberry jam sometime, that stuff is _damn_ good."

"For the last time, Anni, this is _not_ going to turn into another American Idol rip-off!" Roark exclaimed, half annoyed and half amused.

Lightning blinked at him. "Wait, what?"

The redhead sighed, rolling his eyes at some memory. "Long story."

"You only say that when I win," the dinosaur remarked smartly, snickering.

They're _smart_. Watching the playful banter and Lightning's usual confusion, Leaf's heart sank further as the situation's ridiculousness hit her again. _They didn't get here through being selfish and superior. Lightning puts his Pokemon's happiness before anything else, and he's doing great. And sure, maybe Roark screwed up with the Skipper-as-Marshtomp thing, but still – he did it_ because _he cared about Skipper, enough that he didn't want evolution to hurt him. Twisted his reasoning there like hell, but at least he saw his mistake sooner than I did._ Exhaling, she closed her eyes, letting darkness wipe out her vision for a moment. _What am I supposed to do?_

* * *

In the counter's dismal shadow, Frosti sat and hugged himself tighter, trying to ignore the unwashed scent wafting from the grimy floor. The searching, analytical expression of his trainer, seen just moments before, lingered leeringly in his mind, as the statement he now knew to be the truth resounded through his mind.

_She doesn't think I'm worth her time._

It was obvious, he told himself, obvious enough that nobody had to say it. He was by no means inexperienced in battle by now, yet he was still clearly a disappointment. After all, he was her first Pokemon, and so should logically have the closest bond with her and be her strongest fighter to boot. Of course, any misconception that this was the case had long since been shattered: Cheri had already asserted herself as the most powerful team member, and Parvati, who they'd met barely two days ago, was showing the trainer an unending display of affection that was clearly returned. And where did that put him? On the sidelines as an outcast, in every respect but physical. And now, with his new nervousness concerning evolution, that status was more obvious than ever.

She wanted him to evolve, and he hadn't. She wanted him to be an outstanding battler, and he wasn't. She wanted him, above all, to make her proud of him somehow, and he couldn't.

Because if a Lapras couldn't please her – a rare, powerful Pokemon sought after by trainers, coordinators and collectors alike – then how could a Charmander, a specie seen comparatively often in the care of young trainers, ever hope to meet her impossible expectations?

"Sulking as usual, I see?"

His already tense frame stiffened even more as a startled hiss escaped his clench teeth. The noise died as he turned to see Anni looking down at him, a smirk playing at the corners of her beaked mouth. With a slight shiver he forced himself to calm down, feeling his pounding heart begin to return to its natural rhythm.

"I'm not sulking," he retorted, his voice coming off rather more annoyed than he'd intended.

"Yeah, right. Real convincing show, small fry." She plopped down next to him on the floor; eying him shrewdly. "Come on, bugger, lighten up. In half an hour tops, we'll all be outta here on that quest thingy. It's a hell of a lot better than sticking around here forever with that retarded scientist."

"Mm." He stared off into space, ignoring her.

"Look, buddy, I'm talking to you. We might not get another chance to talk for, I dunno, fricking _months_. If the psycho angel chick doesn't kill us all, that is. Then conversations would be too damn difficult to do without a fricking séance."

He gave no sign that he'd heard her, gazing at the far corner of the kitchen instead. Sunlight was already illuminating the floor over there, revealing the dark stains, glaringly bold against the pale tiles.

"Ugh. Work with me, dammit!" she snapped, shoving him over; with a gasp he was forced to hastily push himself back into position before he toppled onto the floor. "You need to know how fricking lucky you are, you moron!"

Now he finally looked at her, a bit of cynicism glinting in his stare. "Lucky? Me?" He chuckled darkly, shaking his head. "We're running off to do something that'll probably get us all killed, or maybe even **Crushed**. And _I_ have to work with _Leaf_ as a trainer."

She snorted. "Yeah, I don't envy you there. With a trainer like that, who needs fricking enemies? But that's not the point. The _point_, small fry, is that I'm … I'm jealous."

He raised an imaginary eyebrow. "Oh really? And what exactly is so great about me that you'll come down off your pedestal and talk to me about it?"

"Don't try to needle me, asshole," she snapped, glaring daggers at him. "You have something that I've wanted since I was born – and I'm millions of years old, so you can bet your moping ass I'll be wailing on you about it. See, you actually have a choice on whether to evolve, and you'd rather be a moron and not evolve."

_Is that all?_ With a scoff, he turned away again.

"Look, retard, you may be all emo about it, but not all of us are. Back in the fricking day, I wasn't strong enough to evolve when the Arceus-damned meteor hit. Then I got resurrected, got a trainer, and got a fricking life. I got stronger. But I also got _this_." She shoved her wrist in his face.

He recoiled instinctively, then frowned as he realized she was only trying to show him something: a collection of beads made of small rocks, strung together so that they encircled the Cranidos's wrist. They gleamed with a flat, sandy gray color, contrasting sharply with the dinosaur's dark gray skin. As it neared his face, his heartbeat almost instantly dropped to its usual rate, and he gasped in surprise at the sudden change, wincing slightly as the blood ceased to race through his veins and resumed its natural flow. He blinked, frowning in confusion. Why was he afraid again?

"Carved from Everstone," Anni told him from somewhere outside his vision; the bracelet held him transfixed as he basked in the change it had wrought in him. "Roark made it himself. Even before he became gym leader, we'd watch challengers battle his dad in _his_ gym. We saw a lot of evolutions, and some of them were pretty gory, I'm not gonna lie. So he made me promise to always wear this, and I said fine, dammit, I will. Later on Skipper and Emily each got one, and they've been wearing those too – or at least Emily is, considering. But it never pissed them off as much as it did me."

A slight smile came over Frosti's face as he continued to stare at the bracelet. Somehow, it made him feel safe, stable, secure. Then Anni withdrew her hand, and the dark feeling returned with a vengeance, kicking his blood back into overdrive. His head automatically turned to follow it, and his eyes gleamed hungrily.

"If you hate it so bad, you could give it to me," he murmured. Inside, he rejoiced at the idea. Finally a solution to the agonizing terror hovering over him, a guarantee that he'd never have to choose, never need to suffer, and always feel that cool suppression destroying any possibility of a terrifying future. Grinning, he reached out for it with an eager orange hand.

_SMACK!_

"No chance of that, small fry."

Hissing in pain, Frosti clenched his teeth as he glanced down at his injury; a brilliant red welt was already forming in the shape of Anni's palm. "What the h— … the _heck_ did you slap me for?" he growled, nearly swearing in anger.

"Because you shouldn't take things that don't belong to you, nimrod." She grasped at it protectively with her other hand, beak clacking in distaste. "Besides, it's important to me, even though it's retarded. He makes us wear these because he doesn't want our brains spurting out our noses, or something, and nobody can blame him for keeping us safe. I owe it to him anyway; he's the one who dug me up. But still … He doesn't understand how much the benefits outweigh the risks." She sighed, half-closing her eyes. "He just doesn't."

Her reasoning calmed Frosti down slightly, and he unconsciously nodded at her words. Yet the fear and discomfort persisted, and his insides crawled with uncertainty.

"Just wanted to let you know about what you're deciding," Anni grunted as she pushed herself back into a standing position. "Throw the chance away if you want, but at least I _tried_ to tell you. Hell, it might drive you crazy, but it's not nagging my fricking conscience anymore … I guess I'll be seeing you around sometime, small fry. Maybe. Not likely, though."

And she left, leaving him in a shadow even gloomier than before.

* * *

"So it turns out that while the presence of the Exeggcute does make a difference, there are over two hundred other variables which could affect flight velocity," Bill rattled on, facing them from the inside of the doorway. He paused to consult the inky notebook in his hand, then nodded and continued, "Okay, three hundred, not two. But guess what? One of the most prominent variables is the Swellow's place of origin. So, given that there are no other manipulated variables, a Hoennese Swellow will have a different velocity than a Sinnohan Swellow!" Striking a scientifically triumphant pose, he beamed at the three teenagers, who managed to return weak grins. "I know, right? Everybody'll be _thrilled_ about this!"

Leaf nodded vaguely, not really listening. Today, at last, they were going to actually do something about the crazy happenings, and it was highly likely that somebody would inconveniently get themselves killed. In spite of the warm sun rays cast upon her back, a shiver ran up her spine.

"Well," the scientist said, beaming at them all, "good luck on your journeying. Hopefully you'll get where you're going as painlessly and quickly as possible. Even if it's not as fast as an unladen Swellow. Leaf …" He sighed, the grin fading from his face. "I really, really am sorry about almost killing you. I wasn't trying to just smooth it over when I apologized before, and I want to _really_ make it up to you, so … here."

He fished two slips of blue paper from his pocket, handing them to her. With a puzzled expression, she scanned the identical writing shown on each of them. Apparently, each was a ticket admitting one person onto some boat called the _S.S. Anne_. "Thanks," she told him, slipping the tickets into her pocket. _Don't know why the hell he'd think I want to go running around after some little boat, but I might as well accept his apology._ "I really appreciate this. And don't beat yourself up about it. I'm okay now, aren't I?"

The grin reappeared as he nodded. "True. I just wasn't sure if the psychological wounds had healed along with the physical … anyway, I'll try and reason with the Clefairy like you all suggested. Imagine if I manage to actually get some sentient communication out of it! It'll be the first first-hand account of life as a Shadow that the world has ever seen! All I'll need to do then is teach it how to use a keyboard …"

He shook hands with each of them, and they smiled in return, gazing up at the sunny-yellow cottage almost wistfully as they said their goodbyes. It was with mixed relief and sadness that they slowly turned and began their long walk away from the only truly safe abode they'd known in a while, as they passed the tall, haughty hotels overlooking the sea. Within those walls they'd seen terror and drama, rage and tears, yet as their feet shuffled through a sea of green grass, they realized that, while they had stayed there, they'd felt a strange sense of security from the rest of the world, as if the isolated location had eliminated everyone else on the planet. But they only realized this now, as the scientist waved after their retreating backs and they plunged back into the jaws of dangerous adventure.

* * *

"Here they are!" Nurse Joy giggled, sliding two trays with three Poke Balls each towards their respective owners. "All healthy and ready to go! Lightning's are all better now, too, but he's still in the ER with his Nidorina. It may be a while before he comes out. He still feels guilty about her evolution, the poor thing." Readjusting her nurse's cap, she turned daintily and vanished into a back room.

Leaf hastily reached for a tray, not wanting to stick around with her companion longer than she had to, and pulled it toward herself, eager to get this wait over with. Pulling the lid off, she quickly reached for a Ball and placed in on her belt, then paused, frowning in confusion at the one of the remaining spheres. _Weird,_ she thought, picking it up and staring at it curiously. _I don't remember ever having a Great Ball._

At her side, Roark cleared his throat awkwardly. "Those are mine."

Flushing, she replaced the two Balls she'd taken on the tray, then swapped trays and took her own Poke Balls. Ignoring the miner as he reclaimed his Pokemon, she glanced about the Center's lobby, searching for a place to sit while they'd wait for Lightning to finish his excruciatingly long visit with Dory. Furniture lined the sterile room in an aesthetically pleasing way, yet most of the chairs were occupied by trainers waiting for their own creatures, sitting in various states of anxiety. The only unclaimed seating she could see was a small couch with just enough room to accommodate two people.

_What the hell._

A scowl twisted her mouth downward as she stalked haughtily towards the couch, pretending not to hear the footsteps of the boy behind her. With twin sighs they sat on either side of the couch, taking care to leave as much space between them as was possible. Folding their arms, they glared in opposite directions as if they'd never seen each other before in their lives.

Somewhere outside of Leaf's vision, a little boy wailed. She gritted her teeth and tried to shut the grating noise out, albeit to no avail – the shrill sound of his voice brought Paris's mournful cry echoing from the dark depths of memory.

"Cut that out," she muttered, rubbing her temples.

"I didn't do anythi—"

"I wasn't _talking_ to you!" she snapped, swiveling around to stare coldly at him.

He raised his hands in front of himself defensively. "Well, sor_ry_."

She let him fry in her glare for a long moment, then turned away in a superior manner. Yet even over the obnoxious sound of the little boy, she thought she heard Roark mutter "Girls" under his breath.

Her eyes rolled. "Miners," she scoffed.

"Kantoan."

"Idiot."

"Drama queen."

"Four-eyes!"

"Snob!"

"Nerd!"

"Hillbilly!"

"Oh no you _didn't_!" she shrieked, leaping at him with nails bared.

* * *

"I need to go," Lightning whispered. He tightened his grip on Dory's paw ever so slightly, half afraid that she might vanish into thin air if he let go. The pale blue Pokemon didn't respond, however; only the shallow rise and fall of her pale chest and the slow beeping of the nearby ECG indicated that she was still alive.

The coordinator's mouth half curled in an attempt at a smile. Even with the ugly patches where the glow had burned the skin away, and the nauseating lumps where the bones had broken, she looked so peaceful laying there on the cot, far from the pain that would invariably rack her fragile frame when she reawakened. _She's a tough one,_ he thought proudly, telling himself that the moisture forming in his eyes was due to the scent of Lysol burning out his sinuses. _Not just a courageous girl, but a survivor. A survivor like me._

Gently he uncurled his hand from his Pokemon's, pushing himself to his feet as he did so. From his shoulder, Peach patted his head comfortingly, gazing down at the unconscious Nidorina with soft black eyes. "Bye, Dory," she whispered, looking back as Lightning dejectedly turned and walked out the door, letting the Pokemon sleep.

Immediately a loud crash from the lobby caught their attention, and with a worried expression Lightning sprinted down the sterile corridor, Peach clinging to his shoulder; a few stray sparks leapt from her short fur in anticipation.

"What's this?" he heard Joy ask loudly above the noise of the clattering and oddly familiar shrieks. "No, no, no fights in here! This is a strictly pacifistic building! Miss McKenzie, you shouldn't … oh dear …"

Fearing the worst, Lightning skidded into the lobby, sneakers sliding on slick tile. A strange sight met his inquisitive eyes: several chairs and a couch had been overturned, revealing undersides dotted with stains and ancient gum. A crowd of waiting patients stared with him in disbelief at a wild-looking Leaf, who smirked triumphantly at a helmeted figure limping quickly out the glass doors and out of sight.

"Aw, Leaf …" he moaned, facepalming.

"He called me a hillbilly," she replied, blowing her frazzled hair out of her face. "The dude called me a _hillbilly_."

"Oh, let's just get out of here," he muttered, grabbing his Poke Balls from Joy's unresisting hands. "We could've at least split up with him peacefully," he went on, dragging her by the hand toward the door. "Like 'so this is goodbye' or something. You didn't have to _maul_ him."

"What?" Leaf snorted. "And leave this place without a bang?"

It was a mark of how shocking Leaf's attack had been that the nurse didn't even call after them that she hoped to see them again soon.

* * *

**karatekid:** fout a mousse thing tody, scary struff

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Whee, sounds fun.

*** Cranidos has joined #leag**

**karatekid:** I knowr ight

**Kenobi:** =D

**Kenobi:** hi

**Cranidos:** Hi :)

**karatekid:** so teh mousce thingie had a flufffy face

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Oh hey

**Kenobi:** How're you?

**Cranidos:** Got beat up

**Kenobi:** Ohnoez :o

**Cranidos:** by a girl

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Leaf again?

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Why the hell are you still with her?

**Cranidos:** I'm not.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Good.

**Cranidos:** I'm heading out of town today

**Kenobi:** So you're coming back?

*** Spider has joined #leag**

**karatekid:** and it hasd hugews teeths

**Cranidos:** No, sorry.

**Kenobi:** :(

**Kenobi:** Why not?

**Cranidos:** Stuff.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Hey Janine!

**Kenobi:** Like what?

**karatekid:** and it sadi rawer

**Spider:** Hi

**Spider:** I'm so bored x_x

**Cranidos:** Crazy stuff.

**Kenobi:** Well that clears things up.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** So am I

**Cranidos:** Hey Misty

**Sarcasm_Flower: **stupid sisters took my Joyfeel to use in a show :/

**Sarcasm_Flower:** What?

**Spider:** *nod*

**Cranidos:** Currents on this ocean are going south, right?

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Yeah

**karatekid:** and ull never gess wat it did

**Cranidos:** Kay, just double checking.

**Kenobi:** It bit your Lucario?

**karatekid:** OMG

**karatekid:** HOW DID U NKOW

**Sarcasm_Flower:** It's because he's magic.

**karatekid:** I KNEW IT

**Spider:** What does it even matter where currents are going?

**Sarcasm_Flower:** He's over here in my city and he's a curious nerd.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** That's why

**Cranidos:** :/

**Spider:** OK

**Sarcasm_Flower:** It's okay Roark.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Everyone else who's here already knows.

**karatekid:** so yah liek it bit my lcacefuo

**Cranidos:** Only thanks to you :/

**Kenobi:** LOL

**BASTIODON:** So that's where you are! Roark, my boy, why didn't you let me know sooner?

**Sarcasm_Flower:** OMG

**Spider:** Or not. o.o;

**Kenobi:** …

**karatekid:** wat

**Kenobi:** Um

**Kenobi:** Hi Mr. Howard?

**Spider:** Have you been here all this time sir?

**BASTIODON:** Indeed.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** That's SO WEIRD

**Sarcasm_Flower:** OMG

**karatekid:** hey tis is liek teh timw wen the buggy thingu bit my luvario

**Spider:** +1 Ninja

**BASTIODON:** You're too kind Janine.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** ._.!

**BASTIODON:** So you're in Cerulean, Roark?

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Well

**Sarcasm_Flower:** I don't think he wanted you to know

**BASTIODON:** What?

**Kenobi:** Yeah, that's what he said.

**Kenobi:** Right Roark?

**karatekid:** cas it had liek fangs amd kept saing rawwwwwwwwwwwr

**Kenobi:** Roark?

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Where'd he go?

**Spider:** He's still online I believe

**Kenobi:** What exactly's going on, sir?

**BASTIODON:** Well

**BASTIODON:** How much has he told you?

**Cranidos:** Nothing, luckily.

**karatekid:** then lucsarip was all leik U SAHLLL NOY POASS

*** Cranidos has left #leag**

**BASTIODON:** Son!

**BASTIODON:** Wait

**Kenobi:** Roark?

**Sarcasm_Flower:** …

**Spider:** Now he's gone.

**Kenobi:** Mr. Howard, what happened?

**BASTIODON:** Nothing!

**BASTIODON:** nothing at all.

**karatekid:** and teh buggie was leik AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPQ

**BASTIODON:** Been worried sick about him

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Cause he was all emo/nerd.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Weird combo

**BASTIODON:** Hm.

*** BASTIODON has left #leag**

**Spider:** Did that really just happen?

**Kenobi:** Did what happen?

**Spider:** I dunno.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Everybody's weird.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Especially their family.

**karatekid:** and tehn it died. lol

**Kenobi:** Died, hm.

**Spider:** What?

**Kenobi:** Just thinking.

**Kenobi:** Strange how all this started when

**Kenobi:** … hm, yeah.

**Kenobi:** He hasn't been seen since then.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Since when?

**Spider:** When?

**Kenobi:** Yeah … that's a weird coincidence.

*** Kenobi has left #leag**

**Sarcasm_Flower:** WTF.

**Spider:** Boys.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Agreed.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Boys can be such boys sometimes.

**Spider:** In a really boyish way.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** True that.

**Spider:** Ninjas and tomboys are better

**Spider:** Girl ninjas I mean

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Girls ftw.

**Spider:** Even though girls aren't good enough to date.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Yeah.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** Wait, what?

**Spider:** Weird logic tangent. Sorry.

**Sarcasm_Flower:** o_0;

**Spider:** LOL.

* * *

"You didn't."

"We did."

"You _didn't_."

"We have established otherwise, Fystor. Really."

"You _didn't_!"

"Don't be so surprised, Feisty. This is a big event, remember? A _big_ event."

"Rrrrrrrgh!"

The blood-red equine and jet-black cat exchanged smirks, then turned back to continue watching Fystor bang her furry head on the counter. With each frustrated smack, the abandoned glasses vibrated slightly, their various contents swirling in miniature whirlpools, catching the dim light and scattering it. Her long pointed ears flopped back and forth.

"Bloody – hell," she spat, each word punctuated by a smack, "why – couldn't – you – idiots – just – close – the – damn – Casino – _like – you're – supposed – to?_"

"Because it's a big event," Secloven repeated innocently, winking at his sister.

With a groan, Fystor put a paw to her throbbing head and turned to glare at them. "Must I spell it out for you?" she growled, massaging the injured site. "The mission is _supposed_ to be as safe for the 'chosen ones' as possible. The mission is _not_ supposed to be conveniently watched by every freaking person who happens to be in the Casino, many of whom are guaranteed to be on Apolydon's side and want nothing better than to let the kids fall into his clutches. News flash: this is the freaking _world_ is at stake. And somehow, _sane_ people such as myself have the _crazy_ idea that the well-being of the world is just a _little_ higher on the general priority list than the success—"

"Hold it," Secloven interrupted lazily. "I lost you, Feisty. 'Cause you were rambling, you know? At first I was like, 'What?' and then I was like, 'Huh?' And then I got bored, and … ah … something about clutches?"

"Oh, forget it," Fystor muttered, facepalming. "Reasoning with you bloody Twins is like playing poker with spoons."

"How so?" Sentarpen asked silkily.

"What d'you mean, 'how so?'"

"You used ambiguous wording," the feline explained, tufted tail twitching. "The way you said it made the sentence have different possible meanings. I mean, would the spoons replace the people, or the chips, or the cards?"

A long silence stretched between them. Somewhere near the Game, a spirit guffawed heartily, breaking through the surface of the sea of excited chatter.

"I can't believe this," Fystor whispered incredulously. "I. Can. Not. Believe. This. You don't care about how many Pokemon here are evil disciples setting out to help _him_ **Crush** everybody, and yet you're getting worked up about _how you would play poker with spoons?_"

"Well, yes," Sentarpen admitted. "That _is_ the general idea."

"Yeah," her brother agreed. "By the way, why are you a Lucario?"

Piercing eyes of silver locked onto sparkling blue irises. "Oh, I dunno," she replied sarcastically. "Maybe to talk to people here without worrying they'll blow my freaking head off while my back is turned. What with everyone seeing the action, all of Apolydon's buddies'll know who honorable old Fystor's siding with. Thanks for that, by the way."

"You're welcome."

Scowling in exasperation, Fystor stormed off towards the Game, leaving the Twins behind as she approached the blindingly lit map, its brilliant rays only partially blocked by the flock of Pokemon crowding around it. _Just forget about them,_ she told herself sharply, balling her paws into fists. _Concentrate on the task at hand._

Her eyes darted from one Pokemon to the next as she carefully eased her way into the crowd, examining their auras with no real expectation of finding anything; any follower of Apolydon worth paying attention to would no doubt have trained themselves to keep their thoughts and emotions under control. Nevertheless she watched the players and observers intently, and the four ear-like sensors drooping from the back of her head bumped each other gently as she turned her pointed blue-and-black face to and fro, ever so casually looking at the crowd while inside her mind furiously processed the aura's information. Any one of those – even the bouncing, giggling blue bastard blob, better known as a Phione – could be a potential and perhaps even lethal enemy.

Suddenly an unprotected aura, one still colored by intentions and hopes and yet radiating impressive power, leapt into her vision, and she actually halted in her tracks, surprised at the fact that she'd found anything at all. Letting her eyes scan that area again, she quickly rediscovered it as belonging to a small fox Pokemon, gazing up wistfully at the players of the Game; lifting a small paw, the fox tapped the clawed foot of a metallic, vicious-looking bird, but the Skarmory only laughed, shaking his wickedly sharp head in amusement as he returned his sharp-eyed attention to the map.

_An unaligned angel!_ Fystor realized, watching with newfound interest.

Biting her lip, the angel slunk away from the mass of Pokemon crowding around the Game. Her eyes didn't seem to have adjusted to the darkness away from the brightly glowing board, though: she smacked right into a tall, dark canine Pokemon who watching the players curiously. She gasped in surprise at the impact, falling back onto her six-tailed rear with a soft thump.

The taller, bipedal fox Pokemon tilted his sleek head in her direction, a scowl forming on his clever face. "Watch it, punk," he growled darkly, his thick crimson mane bristling.

"S-sorry!" she squeaked, scrambling to her small paws as she tried to back away. In her haste she stumbled, barely catching herself as she kept her wide, nervous eyes fixed on the dark-type, who smirked threateningly. His blood-red claws twitched, and a mischievous glint flashed from the pale blue eyes shining against the shadows of his gray-black fur.

_Tough guy, eh?_ Fystor's own eyes narrowed. _The bugger'll cause trouble. Better nip this in the bud if I want to get her alone._ Rubbing her hands together as if in preparation, she nimbly sidled through the maze of eager watchers, who grumbled vaguely if she blocked their view of the Game but otherwise failed to acknowledge her.

"Kinda young to be hanging out here, aren't you?" The leering tone in the dark Pokemon's voice and aura grew more obnoxious as the legendary approached. "Shouldn't you be cuddling up with your mommy, kid? Don't want some massive monster meanie munching you into mash, do you?" He paused to watch unease cross her fuzzy face, then added, "By the way, I'm really hungry at the moment … since you're here, you might as well let me borrow your jugular for a while. And by 'a while', I mean forever." A glistening tongue snaked from the depths of his jaws to lick his grinning chops.

"Ah-actually, I was just going," the Vulpix stammered, choking out a nervous laugh. Her large brown eyes flicked to the side, and with a sudden movement she pounced out of the way with a squeal just as the wolf lunged at her; his claws, gleaming like knives, whistled through the space she had just vacated. With a slurp, he swiveled in her direction, ready to strike—

And froze, frowning slightly at the sight of a slender black-and-blue jackal standing directly between him and his intended victim. The Vulpix's mouth fell open in surprise as she watched her savior place her paws on her shorts-clad hips, fixing the confused wolf with a cool silver stare.

"I'm sorry," the Lucario said sweetly, not sounding sorry at all. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Yeah." The would-be devourer slid his tongue over his fangs, causing them to drip with greenish saliva. "The kid was gonna treat me to lunch, and I just couldn't tell her no. Say," he said, gazing at her as if only just noticing her, "you're a pretty hot vixen yourself, girl. Whaddya say you and me get to know each other, maybe squeeze in a little dog-on-dog action?"

"Cool story, bro." She shot him a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "But Pokemon aren't allowed eat other Pokemon here. And FYI, it's not sexy to compare girls to things that you're about to kill and dissect with your bare hands, so bugger off."

His eyes lit up demonically. "Hard nut to crack, are you? Excellent. I like my females a little feisty, and you'll be perfect in the—"

_CRUNCH_.

A gurgling scream clawed its way from his throat as he seized his broken jawbone, and he dropped to his knees as an endless torrent of paralyzing pain stabbed at him from the nasty crack. The few nearby Game-watchers on the edge of the crowd glanced over at them in curiosity and comparative apathy, as most shrugged and turned back to watch the players beat on each other. By the jackal's feet, the Vulpix gazed up in awe at her as she dusted off her paws leisurely, still giving him that cool look.

"It's bad enough when _they_ call me that," she muttered, "but I'm sure as hell not going to be referred to that by _mortals_. Oh, get over it," she snapped, as he unleashed a particularly ugly wail. She twisted a hand around, pointing the spike on the outside of her wrist at him. "Be glad I used my palm and not my fist. Follow me, kid," she said, looking down at the Vulpix. "We need to talk."

"T-talk? Um – I don't want to waste your time or—"

"Just come on, all right? I just want to talk."

Cautiously, the fox trotted at the taller Pokemon's feet, following her warily as they made their way over to a more secluded corner of the Casino: in lieu of the recent upswing in the Game's popularity, this section of the slot machines, with their colored figures glowing eerily from the reels, was practically deserted. The Lucario glanced around briefly to double-check that no one else was nearby, then turned to look down at the Vulpix staring worriedly at her.

"I hope I wasn't a bother," the fox said after a moment. The short locks of orange fur curled on her head bobbed downward as she cast her eyes to her paws, shuffling self-consciously. "I'm sorry if I was inconvenient for you somehow."

"You _are_ young, aren't you?" the other murmured, speaking mostly to herself.

There was a blink of surprise at the strange comment. "Um, sure?"

"And yet you already have six tails. Mhm, you're an angel, all right."

"What? No, I'm not a—"

"Yeah, you are. Don't try to pretend with me, kid. What's your name?"

The angel glanced to the side, as if pretending not to hear to question. Her triangular ears twitched in antsy nervousness.

"What's your name?" The repeated question fairly rang with force.

With a long huff, the Vulpix shifted her vague gaze to the other side. She sighed softly, then said, "Rinka. My name's Rinka."

"Rinka, eh? Well, Rinka, let me break this down for you. It is really, _really_ dangerous for a neutral angel to come slinking around this Casino without careful control of his or her thoughts and aura. Didn't you know that, kid?"

She made a face. "I didn't even know this place existed, actually. I just wanted to relax for a bit, and then, suddenly, I'm here. Am I dead?"

"No, of course not. That ridiculous carpet cleaner smell would be brimstone if you were."

"Fair enough." Slowly she raised her head to meet Fystor's gaze, eyes glittering in the glow. "But if you don't mind me asking, who're you?"

"Well," Fystor replied, looking down to examine her claws almost apathetically, "that depends. The thing about the Apocalypse is that it's impossible not to be on a side in the end. So let me put it this way: depending on what you decide to do, I'm either your most trusted ally, or—"

Her eyes flicked back upward, locking Rinka's in a gaze that sent chills down her spine. With a shiver, the fox suddenly realized that this was no ordinary Lucario, and that somehow, in some way, she had stumbled onto something that she _really_ didn't want to deal with.

"—Your worst nightmare." She smirked. "Choose carefully."

* * *

And there ends the Cerulean arc. To this day I don't know why it went on so long. Character development, I suppose.

And Leaguechat names, hooray:

BASTIODON = Byron

Cranidos = Roark

karatekid = Maylene

Kenobi = Riley

Sarcasm_Flower = Misty

Spider = Janine


	26. Crazy Train

A much shorter chapter than before. Which may or may not be a good thing ...

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Six: Crazy Train (Aim to Be the Best! Frosti's Anger!)

"You wanted to see me, Officer?"

"I'll cut to the chase, Agent. Your original priority is on the loose again."

In the darkness, the young man's eyes flashed in excitement. "Finally, back to some _real_ excitement," he joked, shifting slightly as if eager to take on the challenge. And in truth, he was. He had been informed on his arrival that his target had already been taken out by some League member and an upstart, and since then boredom had assaulted him in spite of his quest to find something to do – until now.

"It's no laughing matter," Jenny said sternly. "Look at this. The prisoner utterly destroyed it." She held up a slashed hunk of metal, almost in distaste. Seeing the other's confusion, she explained, "It's the security camera for that section of the cells. There were holes punched in the wall below it; we're guessing he climbed up to it." Reaching over with one drawn hand, she drew the blinds, allowing the light and urban scenery into the strictly angular office. "Holes rimmed with blood, so we can guess how he was cleaning his claws of the prison stench. Agent, this is serious. This man is a serial killer, as you of all people should know. A person of his description was reported heading in the direction of Route Five. Your mission is back on. Now do us proud; go and get your man."

"Okay, I'm on it." Nodding deeply to the Officer, he had to swivel around so she wouldn't see the excited grin on his face as he fished through his pockets for a pair of sunglasses. "Now – time to find out how our Rocket …" He put them on, obscuring his eyes in a cool manner. "… took off."

* * *

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH—"

_Crunch_.

"Ugh."

The small audience winced in unison as it watched Perry Jack slide down the tree trunk with agonizing slowness, until he finally flopped to the ground, wings spreading limply to either side. His eyes fluttered almost girlishly, and a faint groan escaped his half-open beak.

"Perry!" Lightning exclaimed, rushing to his fallen Spearow's side. Carefully he knelt at his side, patting his feathery head. "Sorry, Perry, sorry … I wasn't thinking that there'd be trees in the way … we should've started with simpler flight patterns …"

"Eh…" Perry Jack blinked vaguely. "S'all right, son … swig o' rum 'n' I'll be right 's rain …"

Leaf, watching from her position on a log some distance away, sighed as she watched the blonde comfort his Pokemon, while Peach comforted him from her usual position on his shoulder, patting his head in an attempt to alleviate his distress. _If things had turned out differently,_ she thought despondently, remembering yet again the tortured, betrayed look in Paris's eyes, _that could've been me._

Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to her own Pokemon, situated in another nearby clearing as they practiced their new training method that Cheri had suggested. It wasn't one that Leaf particularly approved of, especially considering her new moral outlook, but neither Frosti nor Parvarti had objected to it – Parvati had practically bounced with excitement upon hearing the bee's proposal – so she reluctantly allowed them to go through with it, on the condition that she could halt their training immediately if things became too violent. She remembered a strange, incredulous look pass over the bee's face, as if in disbelief as to Leaf's authority over such things, before the Pokemon had finally accepted the terms.

Currently, Parvati was scampering up into the emerald leaves of a convenient tree, narrowly avoiding Cheri's thrusting spear; not missing a beat, the Beedrill used the momentum to turn sharply on one foot, nicking Frosti's tail with the outstretched weapon. With a yelp the lizard leapt back, rubbing his injured appendage as a trickle of blood began to drip from it. Taking advantage of his momentary pause, Cheri then half-closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to further sharpen her focus.

Frosti frowned, then opened his mouth wide, spewing a barrage of small, dancing flames. The Beedrill's eyes quickly snapped open, however, and with ease she buzzed away on her fragile-looking wings.

"C'mon, that's no fair!" he called after her, tilting his head upward as he watched her fly about above him.

"No fair?" Cheri laughed. "But it is perfectly fair to use one's natural abilities. In fact, it would be rather … ungrateful of me, I suppose … if I decided _not_ to use them, don't you agree?"

Saying such, she spat another String Shot at him; in response he managed to smack it with his tail, causing the sticky projectile not only to miss its intended target of his feet, but also to stem the flow of blood droplets oozing from his wound. Blinking in surprise, he glanced at it, then grinned up triumphantly at Cheri, only to get an eyeful of another sticky string.

"I was not expecting that," she remarked, flexing her arms while he sputtered indignantly below. "But you were lucky. In battle, one must make one's own luck—"

"Sha-ZAM!"

In an explosion of leaves from the green canopy, Parvati leapt from her branch and past Cheri's still hovering form, very loudly smacking her small paws together right in front of the bug's face. She then soared through the air for a moment before landing on the ground with feline ease, and swiveled around to see the results of her surprise ambush … but the grin slid off her face when she realized that, somehow, nothing had happened.

"It does not work if your foe was already expecting it," Cheri explained, tilting her head in amusement. "Good try, though."

With a sudden drone of her wings she put on a burst of speed, raising her spears as she dived sharply downward toward the wide-eyed cat. Parvati immediately scampered out of the Beedrill's path; looking over her shoulder at her pursuer, she failed to notice where she was going until she tripped right over an outstretched, flaming tail.

_THUMP!_

Sputtering on a mouthful of dirt, the Meowth jumped to her feet again, eyes narrowing as the Beedrill swooped down upon her. Muttering to herself, the cat hastily shuffled her paws over each other in a hasty, impromptu dance, just as Cheri was looming above her, spears prepared to strike … Abruptly Parvati halted, opened her mouth wide, and unleashed a hacking wheeze and a massive cloud of putrid, ashy smoke to go with it, obscuring Cheri's vision. The bug's twin stabs into the smoke proved futile, and her eyes watered slightly as she coughed a couple of times.

"That … that …" Frosti stammered, staring in astonishment as Parvarti darted out of the cloud, her fur smudged with dirty coal gray. "That's my Smokescreen!"

"Well, yeah." The Meowth paused to lick a dirty paw, letting her pink tongue cleanse the tan fur. "It's a special dance thingy. Mom told me that Dad could do it, too. It's really cool, I think."

He nodded vaguely, glancing about in his brief time-out – fighting wouldn't resume until Parvati had finished her bath or Cheri had found her way out of the smoke, if at all. A yawn forced its way out of his mouth; this training method took more out of him than he would've guessed.

"_It's called Assist, Naaaarrrrrrrgh. A sneaky move where the bugger using it uses a move that one of its teammates knows. It's been bred onto her, same as your dearly beloved Lapras. She also knows Tail Whip and Charm. Personally,_ I _think that means her daddy was_ really _naughty."_

Glancing around, Frosti noticed his trainer sitting nearby, scrolling through the unseen screen of her snarky Pokedex. To his own surprise, a small smile tweaked the corners of his mouth. Sitting there on that log, wearing a thoughtful expression as her eyes moved to and fro, she reminded him strongly of that day they'd first met, when she'd named him on Pallet Beach. _Weren't we friends then?_ he wondered, narrowing his eyes slightly in thought. _We must've been … We were already talking about how far we were going to go in the League. Well,_ she _was talking, at least … I was just glad she was there to back me up._

Then Leaf glanced up, her eyes meeting Frosti's briefly before returning to the Pokedex; her mouth creased downward in a slight frown. With a shiver he turned away, forcing himself to put the expression on her face out of his mind as he tried to focus instead on the sight of Cheri, who had finally found her way out of the smoky cloud and was now coughing loudly. But the memory had firmly set itself in his brain.

_She frowned at me._

Cheri's body heaved with another wheeze before she flexed her arms again, eyes narrowing in embarrassment as she looked from one teammate to the other. "I … I regret what I said about natural abilities," she admitted, her voice hoarse with coughing. "You were absolutely right, Frosti. It really is _not_ fair."

Parvati giggled cheekily, and even Frosti managed a weak grin.

"Mm, it's not him. Just some rookies."

The Charmander froze and turned his head sharply toward the source of the whisper, situated somewhere in the thick bushes surrounding the clearing. "Who said that?"

"I did. I mean, whoops! Nobody said anything! Nobody. Ahahaha. Er …"

Frowning, Frosti exchanged glances with Parvati, who looked puzzled, and Cheri, who returned his look with a knowing nod. Together the lizard and bee cautiously approached the place where the mysterious speaker seemed to be, with the uncertain cat padding close behind. Reaching the scraggly mess of green, Cheri stabbed in and pulled the bushes apart while Frosti hurled himself headlong toward the newly formed space, only to crash into an inconveniently placed tree.

"What?" Parvati tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Where'd he go?"

Dazed, Frosti shakily pulled himself back onto his feet, rubbing his head. "He couldn't have gone anywhere," he said, his voice slightly slurred. "We would've heard him, right?"

"Of course." Cheri tapped her chin thoughtfully with the tip of her stinger. Then her ruby eyes glinted in some sort of realization. "Unless …"

She trailed off. Waiting to hear the rest of her unfinished sentence, the other two looked over at her, only to gasp in astonishment at the sight of nothing but thin air in the place where the bee had just been standing a second ago.

"Cheri?" Parvati called nervously, glancing around. "Cheri?"

The Charmander shook his head once more to clear it. It was becoming apparent that this incident was not due to any concussion he might have received.

"Interesting."

The two swiveled around, squealing in shock; standing behind them was none other than Cheri herself, looking down at herself with interest and more than a little amusement. Then her eyes flashed, her wings twitched, and she half hurled herself, half flew into the forest with an almost invisible speed.

Frosti glanced at Parvati.

Parvati glanced at Frosti.

Both of them glanced, rather uncertainly, in the direction that Cheri had gone.

"… She couldn't do that before, right?" Frosti asked finally, hoping he wasn't going completely nuts.

"I doubt it." Parvati shrugged.

"She won't catch him," a voice chuckled. "Sorry to burst your bubble."

Startled, they turned their gazes upward in time to see a taller, lanky shape drop out of the branches above them, landing on its long-toed feet with spider-like ease. The new Pokemon then straightened up out of her half-crouching position, giving them a full view of her physique. Her short, fuzzy fur was a golden yellow, broken only by the brown shirt-like formation coating her chest and shoulders. Above her pointed face, twin triangular ears were pricked to attention. With a short exhalation she blew a strangely long forelock of hair out of her face, before fixing the two smaller Pokemon with a pair of slanted green eyes.

"Um, hi," Parvati said, blinking uncertainly. "Were you watching us that whole time?"

"Naturally." The Pokemon swatted her hair out of her face again. "I even saw the green lizard before he took off. He didn't mean any harm, but he's faster than your Beedrill buddy. She'll be lucky if she even gets a glimpse from him, much less an explanation." Her gaze flicked to Frosti, and she snorted. "But at least _she_ has a slim chance."

Frosti frowned, folding his arms. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I've been watching you guys, remember?" The stranger examined her fingernails idly. "You're all just rookies, really. Didn't start out until lately, I'm guessing? Yeah, that's what I thought. She shows a _little_ promise, that Beedrill does, but none of you are really any good. Especially you, Charmander."

His lips parted unconsciously, exposing the tips of his fangs, as he balled his hands into fists. _Who does this person think she is?_ he thought angrily, glaring at her through narrowed eyes. _It's one thing for Leaf to consider me weak – we've been together since the beginning – but for_ her _to pass judgment on me isn't gonna fly._

"Oh dear, I seem to have struck a nerve." The Pokemon smirked at him, as if she could hear his heart's rhythm increasing to the faster beat of a battle frenzy.

"_I thought that was MY job, my dear freak. Let's see how_ my _analysis grabs you. Abra, the Snore Pokemon. Gender is Female. Height is You Hit Puberty, Really? Weight is Nope, It's Just Anorexic. This is one of those mystic Psychic freaks that you should, above anything else, feel free to point and laugh at. It's so retarded it has to sleep for eighteen hours just to keep its mental powers at mediocre level! That's seventy-five percent of the day wasted snoozing. The ironic thing about this is, it can't even use those powers without some serious training! All it can do is randomly teleport because it's a moron. That's a failtastic feat if I ever saw one, believe you me."_

"Your machine brings up a good point," the Abra admitted as she gestured toward the Pokedex without looking at it, surprising everyone. "But it assumes that I'm like other Abra, and so is incorrect. What's your issue, lizard?" she asked suddenly, snapping her green gaze towards him. "Oh, wait, don't tell me. You've got no ambition. You're perfectly content to be some human's slave without any benefits in it for you. Idiocy at its finest."

A growl escaped his throat, to Parvati's surprise; sensing a brawl, the Meowth quickly slunk away, darting for a safer position beside Leaf's feet. She gazed up at the girl, who was watching the two remaining Pokemon intently, as if waiting for something.

"They called you Frosti," the Abra said, beginning to walk back and forth in front of him slowly, tauntingly, waving her thick tail to and fro. "Ha, fits you. Stupid name for a stupid brute. Oh, but you don't know _my_ name! Let me change that for you; the loser of a battle should always know the identity the one who defeated him. I am Abigail, the most unique among all Abra." She snapped her fingers dramatically, sending a brief series of sparks glittering above her hand. "Most of my species are cowardly idiots, like you. But I … I am _different_."

Her voice sounded garbled and faint to him behind the roaring that pounded in his mind. The feelings he had tried so hard to restrain, the rage, the terror, the indignant need to prove himself, flooded through his being. Training had left him too tired to resist them any longer, yet the adrenaline pouring through his veins gave him the strength to act on those impulses. Only his ever-present patience remained to give his reason the upper hand in the internal struggle. And his patience was fast running out.

"Abra are only content to meditate and teleport." Abigail's voice came out in a rush, as if she had been dying to say this for some time. "But that Zen stuff isn't for me. Mind power is vastly overrated. Manipulate five dimensions at once? No. Give me a _firm_ control over _these_ three dimensions any day. Fighting types have that down, and so will I, even if I have to defeat every pathetic wea—"

_SLAM!_ went the brightly glowing tail, cutting off the rest of words. Surprised at Frosti's sudden assault, Abigail wheezed as the tail knocked the breath out of her, slamming her into the ground with an audible, wince-inducing thud.

"What right do you have to call me pathetic?" Frosti snarled, looming over her with revenge sparkling like stars in his black eyes.

Grunting, Abigail thrust her hand sharply upward, curling her stubby fingers into a fist that shimmered with some strange power, distorting the air around it. As it collided with Frosti's gut, the energy around her fist suddenly flared a lively yellow color, and the Charmander hissed in surprise as he felt strength suddenly and inexplicably drain from him. Yet even as he doubled over and his vision wavered, he realized dimly that his defeat would only strengthen his fear and Abigail's claim: that he was useless, worthless, powerless. Inhaling sharply, he let a surge of determination sharpen his focus, letting it channel his rage into strength and his fury into willpower. _I won't prove her right!_ he promised himself with a feral growl. _Never!_

Scrambling to her long-toed feet, Abigail paused, brushing her forelock out of her eyes irritably before returning her attention to Frosti, preparing another punch – and then he looked up at her, very slowly, and she gaped in astonishment at the change that had come over him. His tail flame, once relatively small and shimmering with orange and gold, now hissed with a new combination of blue and white so brilliantly bright that it burned the eyes, swelling to almost double its original size with a violent hissing and crackling. And his eyes, too, had turned from a soft black to an almost violent shade of dark blue, which seemed to flicker as if there were a fire shining behind them.

Then those eyes caught sight of her, and a horrible shadow crossed his face: a demonic grin lit up his eyes even further, and they narrowed to deathly thin slits … his mouth widened with horrific slowness, revealing elongating teeth resembling snake fangs, dripping with saliva that sparkled like poison. Behind those teeth his pink tongue lolled about, thrashing like some deformed, hairless creature in a cage, attempting to break free from imprisonment.

Abigail recoiled in horror, tripping over her own feet as this nightmare approached. Her mind worked furiously, trying to come up with some option, but it was no use, not with that _thing_ standing right there and grinning as if he knew there was nowhere she could run …

And then, suddenly, it was over: his fangs shrank; his tongue settled; his eyes returned to their original size, though they still flickered with that unnatural blue. He simply glared at her. She couldn't move even then, not with the memory of that horrific face still haunting her mind. All she could do was keep her eyes on him and hope against hope that his gums wouldn't curl back again, like a curtain concealing the final act of some twisted performance.

His mouth opened.

"_I'm_ not weak."

A barrage of blue-white flames poured from his jaws, wrapping themselves around Abigail's limbs almost lovingly, caressing fingers that would devour all they touched. A scream tore itself from her throat as her fuzz caught fire, and she at last broke free from her terror-induced paralysis, throwing herself to the ground and rolling about madly in an attempt to suffocate the destructive flames. Frosti only ceased his assault to watch his foe flail about in agony, and a dark smile crept across his face as he laughed triumphantly.

"Sorry, he was too fast, I couldn't catch – _Frosti, what are you doing?_"

He glanced around lazily to see an exhausted Cheri stumbling out of the forest, ruby eyes wide at the sight of the thrashing Abra. Something stirred in Frosti's mind as the Beedrill hurried towards him, staring at him with a strange look. "What does it look like I'm doing?" he laughed, as Abigail's shriek increased another couple of decibels. "She was mocking me. So I taught her a lesson." _She shouldn't be looking at me that way. I'm strong!_

"Frosti, cut it out!" Leaf's call seemed to be coming from a distance. "Stop hurting the poor thing, leave her alone!"

"Enough is enough!" Cheri snapped, pointing a spear at him. "Murdering a foe when he or she is beneath you is dishonorable, Frosti! Stem the flow, let it go!"

He blinked and, quite suddenly, it was all over. At the tip of his tail, the flames abruptly died down, flickering in their usual sunny colors. His eyes, black once more, stared at her in confusion. With a soft hiss, the fire surrounding Abigail dissipated into thin air, and she collapsed in the dirt, gasping for breath as tears stung her burnt face. He glanced at her, then at Cheri, then at Leaf, who stared back at him, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

"What …?" he asked, then trailed off. Why was he so out of breath? Why was that Abra lying at his feet?

"_See, I_ told _you he'd use those moves soon, Naaaarrrrrrrgh. Though I'm really surprised at how well he did them, considering him. I didn't think Dragon Rage could turn into a Vortex of Hellish Doom like that. Just goes to show that even Pokedexes learn things, in spite of the fact that I know more than all of you combined, so ha."_

The Charmander turned his gaze around in a circle, staring at the patterns of shimmering heat waves dancing in the air around the Abra and himself. His nostrils twitched at the scents they carried. Blood. Fire. Smoke. Fear. Hatred.

Blood.

Completing the circle, his gaze returned to Cheri, who had not moved since he had looked away. He wondered at her motionless stance. "Why're you standing like that?" he asked, then trailed away as a strange thought occurred to him. The Abra was at _his_ feet. The stench of charred flesh belonged to _her_. His eyes widened as he put two and two together.

It was Cheri who coldly voiced his fear. "You almost killed her."

"But … but I …" He stared at his paws in horror, as if they might reach up to strangle him. "But I didn't! I couldn't have, I was … I didn't!" His head snapped around in everyone's direction; a pleading look shone in his eyes, begging them to tell him he was right, that this was somehow just an accident.

Evidently, it wasn't.

"Frosti." Cheri's watchful eyes narrowed at him. "What. Have. You. _Done?_"

"I'm sorry!" he moaned, his eyes welling up with tears as the realization of his guilt stung him fully. "I'm so, so sorry, I didn't … I didn't want …" A lump threatened to obstruct his throat, and he swallowed it painfully. "I didn't … I …"

"It is far more serious than you realize," Cheri hissed, and Frosti suddenly realized what the strange look in her eyes was, the look that he'd never, ever seen there before.

Pure fear.

"Cheri?" he whimpered.

For a long, tense moment, she didn't answer him. Instead she continued to stare back at him, perhaps searching for whatever had sent him careening into his attack. _Please, please, just tell me what it is,_ he pleaded silently, hoping she could hear his heartfelt request. _I can't feel like this anymore. I need to know what's wrong with me. Tell me._

When she finally spoke, however, he instantly wished she hadn't.

"For a moment … your Beast stirred."


	27. No Cause for a Crossfire

And we've finally caught up with SPPf: this is the latest BF chapter written. And it was written all the way back in May. That's _sad_. Well, hopefully I can get more written in between PV chapters.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Seven: No Cause For a Crossfire (The Roots of Love and Fear! Combusken versus Grovyle!)

The sun is perhaps the most misunderstood thing on Earth.

For instance, the vast majority of educated humanity agrees that this star is an average yellow dwarf at the center of the solar system, though some religious fanatics claim that it is in fact the legendary Ho-oh flying on an eternal round from one horizon to the other. (Why someone would advocate for the idea of a great flaming bird speeding around Earth at roughly a thousand and fifty miles per hour, when it could instead be doing something that actually benefits people, is anyone's guess.) Aside from this fact, there are great discrepancies in its interpretation.

Arctic explorers are frequently found dying due to an assumed lack of the sun's warmth, while colonists trekking through the Amazon go dizzy with the blistering heat. However, as the sun itself has the same temperature no matter where it is observed from, it has little to do with any of this. Only the weather overhead changes the intensity of the sun's heat rays; thus, the over-curious humans have no one to blame but themselves for going into such dangerous situations without doing their research first – a prime justification for the title "Retarded Mortals".

On a less personal yet more controversial note, some people, including politicians (surprisingly enough), claim that due to the general corrupt greediness of capitalist enterprises, air pollution runs rampant, culminating in an atmospheric phenomenon which, in destroying the ozone layer, is assumed to inadvertently destroy all life on Earth.

The enterprises, on the other hand, claim that this whole "global warming" idea is simply a myth created by the government in order to scare civilians into boycotting particular products and eventually bringing entire companies to ruin.

The politicians reply that the phenomenon is nevertheless the truth; and while it may be an inconvenient truth for the enterprises, it is a very convenient truth for everyone else (i.e. the portion of the population that places moral values over monetary value). And since "everyone else" forms the vast majority of humankind, why not be democratic for once and actually listen to what they need?

The enterprises make a side remark about funding somebody's next election campaign, followed by a sigh that they just _can't_ support any politician who won't make some underhanded move to get the attention and business that they surely deserve. And after all, they make millions of jobs available to those poor, sad people who were too busy knocking each other up to get a college education. Would the politicians, they wonder, _really_ be so utterly heartless as to destroy the civilians who have no purpose in life other than to become the bottom portion of the national income statistics?

After a long pause, the politicians remark that this global warming thing is, and always has been, an inconvenient truth, and one that has little meaning next to the more pressing matters of giving people the right to make a crapshoot out of their lives. They are quickly awarded a multi-million dollar donation for next term's campaign, the cheers from the near-sighted conservatives, and a nice little contract from the enterprises staking a claim on their souls.

The sun, of course, utterly fails to give a damn about this, and is perfectly contented to float in the vastness of space while inadvertently giving potentially fatal skin cancer to the conservatives who voted against protection from harmful ultraviolet, as well as to underdressed hookers with an average IQ of one hundred and twenty and an average motivation level of zero.

Politics are only interesting to watch when they are looked down upon.

In any case, the sun proceeded to shine cheerfully (or as least as cheerfully as a great flaming ball of gas can manage) above the great shimmering wasteland of doom, officially known as Orre. The "cheerful" part of this fact, however, was lost on Rinka in lieu of the less subjective term "shine": the blinding rays had been forcing her eyes squeezed almost shut for the entire trek.

"Was this really necessary?" she asked, not particularly looking for an answer.

A few yards ahead, the silver-eyed Lucario took the question in untiring stride. "Yes. Unless you'd prefer appearing out of thin air in front of over a hundred or so witnesses? I hear Collectors are especially ambitious these days …"

The young angel merely huffed through her small, drying nose, putting one paw in front of the other without any enthusiasm. She was not trotting cutely behind her companion; she was too tired for such silly antics. Then again, even at the start of their unending walk when they'd winked into existence in the harsh desert, she refused to look like she actually _enjoyed_ being all but blackmailed into this incomprehensible situation.

Naturally, the biggest question reverberating through her mind was: _Why me?_ After all, there was no particular reason as to why this was happening – just a bit of mindless dozing off, and suddenly she'd shown up in the world's weirdest casino, almost became a wolf's appetizer, and been kidnapped in all but name by this random Lucario. What was she planning?

She'd heard stories of vicious humans who knew of the existence of angels, and sought to destroy them for whatever twisted reason. Angel slayers, they called them. She shivered slightly at the memory of those two words. Just four innocent syllables … serving as a thin veneer over tales of faceless, heartless monsters looming over screaming, bloody victims. There was a possibility, however small, that this strange jackal was somehow in league with _them_. A possibility that she was being led to an unimaginable death.

And there was little doubt that the Lucario could take her by force if she chose.

It was difficult to be nervous at the moment, however. Right now all she wanted was to curl up in some quiet dark corner and sleep.

_Stupid sun._

"It's the same sun everywhere else," the other said. "There's no point in getting mad at it."

Rinka huffed again. Annoyed, however, was not the same thing as nervous. "Did we really have to _walk_ all the way there?" she asked tersely. "I mean, surely if we can magically teleport _here_, we can magically teleport to where we're going. Wouldn't that be easier?"

"It's not teleportation." The voice couldn't hide an unseen smirk. "It's dimension shifting. There's a world of difference."

"Right." Rinka sputtered softly; a bit of sand had inexplicably ended up in her mouth. "Dimension shifting. Of course. How stupid of me."

The Lucario's pace slowed, then suddenly stopped. Noting this, Rinka quickly skidded to a halt behind her as well: unlike most small cute animals, the idea of smacking suddenly into the legs of people behind her was repugnant to her, as it ranks somewhere between "yelling at an ocean wave that knocked your sand castle down" and "inhaling vinegar through a straw in your nostril" on the universal list of Signs of Stupidity.

"Um, sorry …" the angel began, then trailed off when she realized that her companion's stance had tensed considerably. Her head was leaned back slightly, nose and ears twitching at something unseen in the distance ahead.

She stayed that way for a few seconds, watching and listening; but just as Rinka was about to ask, she dropped back onto her heels, rolling her eyes. "Guerrilla squadrons," she scoffed. "Well, of course. It's a wonder we hadn't run into any already." She turned to look at the small fox, who stared back up at her curiously. "We may have to take drastic evasive maneuvers."

Rinka wrinkled her nose in confusion. "Why?"

An exasperated sigh. "Because they have _guns_, obviously."

"But … but I thought gorillas weren't smart enough to use guns."

The Lucario facepalmed.

"… I just said something stupid, didn't I?"

"Very stupid. These are _war_ guerrillas, Rinka. The ones that shoot at each other. Which they're doing right now as they get closer to us." She sighed. "Damn stupid Orreans. I don't want to kill them all just to get through them." Running her paws through the Aura Sensors dangling behind her ears, she took a deep breath. "Well, time for plan B."

Rinka's ears automatically pricked in wariness. "Plan B. Right. Um …"

She paused, watching curiously as the Lucario's body was suddenly obscured by a flare of light so bright that the fox had to shut her eyes completely.

"Remind me again … what's Plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—?"

Her question dissolved into a surprised yelp as something long and bumpy snaked around her small form and yanked her sharply upward. As her paws left the ground, she opened her eyes again to see the earth fall below, the sand blurring as she flew forward in midair. Wind shrieked in her ears, adding to her dizziness.

_Oh no, oh no, oh no …_

From far away, the sound of rapid gunfire reached her sensitive ears, punctuated by the fainter sounds of agonized screaming and angry swearing. Even though the rushing wind hurt her eyes, she could still just barely make out the sight of quickly shrinking black dots running to and fro.

"Stupid buggers," the Lucario's voice sighed.

Startled slightly by the unexpected sound, Rinka quickly glanced upward to see that the creature carrying her was, contrary to her feeble expectations, swooping high on black, bat-like wings that carried its pale bluish-purple body over the sandy landscape. Yellow eyes glinted with sunlight from its demonic face; its huge triangular ears were pinned back from the wind, giving Rinka a good view of their inner crimson color.

In short, the creature was definitely _not_ a Lucario.

"What …" Rinka began, but then faltered: her voice was virtually inaudible in the rushing wind.

Yet the creature seemed to hear her, for it looked down slightly to catch sight of the fox looking frazzled and frightened in the grip of its long tail. "By the way …" it said, and suddenly Rinka noticed the familiarity of its alto voice, together with that by-now hateful smirk, looking alien on a mouth full of fangs …

"I'm Fystor."

The Vulpix didn't hear the surprised shouts of soldiers below as they finally caught sight of them; the blood was rushing to her ears in giddiness. "A _Fystor_?" she gasped. She'd only ever heard of Fystor: the enigmatic legendary griffins were few and far between, even for angels. They were supposed to be heroic harbingers of justice, champions of truth that only revealed their secret to those they deemed worthy … but that didn't explain how this one could turn into a Gliscor. Unless she was—

"_The_ Fystor."

Rinka fainted.

* * *

They walked along the dusty path, Leaf carefully cradling Abigail's unconscious body in her arms. The Abra's breathing seemed irregular: her chest rose, fell, was still, then suddenly rose raggedly again. She shifted the Pokemon in her arms slightly, making it a little easier for Lightning, walking beside her, to ease a little Rawst Berry jam into her slack mouth. It wasn't the best cure in the world, considering it was mostly sugar and preservatives, but the dark blue jam was the only thing on hand that could do _something_ for the burn.

Her eyes wandered over the blackened patches of the Abra's skin. Black like the shadow streaming to Frosti's right, its darkness hardly affected by his softly flickering tail as he walked mechanically in front of them. Black like the cavern his mouth had formed upon using Scary Face for the first time, dripping with stalactites of bone. Black like Cheri's stripes as she buzzed behind the ragtag party, watching him an unwavering ruby gaze. Black like his mood now.

Leaf watched him move stiffly before them, shoulders hunched and shaking slightly.

_I don't understand. He wasn't like this before—_

The memory of an indigo Lapras bursting from her egg, scattering shards about the floor … her overwhelming adoration of the pseudo-shiny hatchling … Frosti's face, colored retroactively in envy.

_Was he?_

She remembered fawning incessantly over Paris and her shiny scales, bragging endlessly about Skipper's sheer strength, shivering in awe at Cheri's knowing gaze, smiling at Parvati's playful antics … but what about Frosti? She'd never really paid much attention to him in particular. After all, he was cute, but he'd seemed to be just an ordinary Charmander. Not that she didn't like him – all things considered, she probably would've picked him if she'd had first choice, anyway. But he'd been the shy, neglected Pokemon hovering in the corner she never thought about as much as she should have.

And that time had long since past.

She sighed, patting Abigail's head absentmindedly. _If only it wasn't always too late …_

A wisp of cloud floated above them, concealing the sun for a brief moment.

… _To set things right._

* * *

From her perch on his shoulder, Peach watched Lightning with curious eyes. She wasn't exactly sure what had happened during their training, although due to the large amount of screaming involved, followed by the sight of the Abra's burnt body and Frosti's horrified expression, it wasn't difficult to put two and two together.

She watched her trainer smile weakly as Abigail unconsciously smacked her lips, and also grinned at the thought that her jealousy would be incredible if it were anyone else. As it was, the sight of the fox's burnt body fueled no such emotion; after all, Abigail had already asserted herself to be arrogant and aggressive, neither of which were common or desired traits in psychics. The idea that he cared for the fox for any motive beyond her livelihood was laughable.

And yet the tenderness in his expression spoke volumes of the purity and kindness in him.

_He has so much love in him,_ she realized, watching him reach out with another spoonful of jam. _It's amazing that I'm the only one who finds him adorable. And …_

Her breath caught at the thought that came next.

_I'm so lucky to be his._

She'd always thought her rejection by the first three Pallet trainers was a sign of worthlessness on her part, and as such it was mere coincidence that she'd managed to encounter him. But now it seemed, somehow, that the matches had all been meant to be …

Too-bubbly Squirtle had been in need of being brought down to earth and grounded in a firm view of the real world – the cold practical boy had done so, though now he needed to help her look toward the sky again.

Hideki needed someone to make him feel like he was important – the less stable boy's ambition of a stunning collection served that purpose, albeit in an unorthodox way.

And Frosti … well, Frosti'd needed to learn to assert himself and to realize that he had so, _so_ much potential. And Leaf had brought him there. Even if she'd done so unintentionally, and even if the process had involved him seriously injuring a fox who'd done nothing more than say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

But she and Lightning? They'd hit it off almost instantly, skipping over the "tools" and "acquaintances" and "partners" idealisms entirely and coming to a stop at the far end of "friends". It felt like she'd been on his shoulder her entire life, by his side whether they were happy or gloomy, victorious or despairing, having fun or feeling bored, laughing themselves to death or running for their lives. And maybe …

Maybe she really had. After all, somebody once said you were never really alive until you had someone to live for.

And oh, did she feel alive …

She sensed what was coming even through her joyous nostalgia, and quickly jumped off her trainer's shoulder, facing the trainers with a strange undercurrent of determination. They halted before her, surprised at her action; up ahead on the trail, Frosti turned and stared at her listlessly.

"Peach?" Lightning asked, leaning slightly forward with a frown. "Are you okay?"

She simply smiled at him as she felt something inside her stir, as if a key were cautiously turning in some locked chest full of wondrous secrets she hadn't known she'd wanted to know. He was so caring, so wonderful – they were meant to be together. He'd learn someday that she loved him, as the future soared closer to the now …

She closed her eyes.

The lock clicked.

The two kids could only gasp in astonishment as the faint glow exploded from her being, rippling around her in a strange parody of aura. There was a sound of creaking bone as her small form began to expand slightly – her rhomboid ears stretched creakily into thin, pointed things; her tail burst into a long, jagged shape, yet her smile remained.

No pain. No fear. Only euphoria.

The process, painless as it was, ended relatively quickly. When her glow had faded into nothingness, she opened her eyes and looked down at her new self standing in the burnt dirt. A slightly larger and stouter body met her gaze, coated in buttery yellow fur and standing on two small feet. She twisted around, feeling her body bend more easily than it ever had; her tail was no longer short and black, but yellow, long, and shaped like a thunderbolt, with a dent at the end that gave it the vague appearance of a heart. It twitched under the two new brown stripes adorning her back.

She looked up at Lightning then, beaming as his shocked expression dissolved into relieved awe. Then his mouth slowly stretched into an astonished grin, and he whispered, "Peach …"

He reached out with both arms.

"You did it!"

And she leapt into his hug, letting herself melt in his embrace and undying friendship.

Yes, she felt alive.

"_Oh, ISN'T THAT CUTE."_

Leaf, Lightning, and Peach all glared at the Pokedex. Sparks flickered from the Pokemon's scarlet cheeks.

"_Pikachu, the Vastly Overrated Pokemon. Gender is Female, you MORONS. Height is Rodent, Weight is Nerfball. People like these buggers from some reason, which doesn't make sense – they're not strong, they don't have any character, and they smell funny. But the thing is, they're actually brainwashing the world into becoming their slaves! Yeah really. I mean, why else would everyone tolerate them? Oh, and something else: Pikachu tend to let off random shocks. Because they're so RETARDED, that's why."_

Peach raised an eyebrow at it. "Oh really? Forgive me for that. Here, I'll try to make this one _not_ random."

"_Well, you need the practice, mousie. Oh wait … crap—"_

"CHUUU!"

The group erupted with laughter as the Pokedex sputtered furiously, crackling softly thanks to the Pikachu's Thundershock. She smirked in triumph, then hugged Lightning again.

_Friendship_.

* * *

His aching chest throbbed as he pulled in another ragged gulp of air. The repeated pounding of his boots striking the ground was rewarded with dull pulses of pain, adding to the aching torment of his unceasing flight. Around him, the landscape blurred into a panorama of unending green-yellow grass, rimmed with distant specks of green marking the position of trees on the position. Nothing else.

Nowhere to hide.

_Keep running._

Far ahead of him loomed mounds of rock, their exact shapes and colors impossible to tell in the heat waves distorting his vision. He forced himself to keep his eyes on them, to focus on safety – but the awareness of that awful _openness_ around him pressed on his mind. Here, he was easy prey.

Something silvery glinted in his path, and he leapt over the object instinctively, leaving the broken watch – a mark of some trainer long past – behind him.

He had to run, had to escape. _He_ was probably already on his trail, making his way to Cerulean as swift as death's wings, ready to kill him before he could _run as far away as he could, pushing himself just to survive—_

_An inhuman yowl reverberated through the forest. With a great, shuddering breath, he forced himself to move faster._

_Bushes snagged at his clothes, scratching his face, but he couldn't feel them at all. Sheer horror had numbed him._

_Sunlight shimmered in his path, lighting his way through the verdant forest, crisp with summer air. Berries hung from nearby bushes, bright spots of color against dark patches of green. A Starly twittered somewhere overhead; a Pachirisu peered down at him from an overhanging branch, its blue stripes mirrored by the brilliant sky above. All in all, another cheerful day in Oreburgh Forest, dancing and blossoming with life._

_It was all horribly, horribly wrong._

_There should have been raging fires. The sky should have been jet-black, filled with lightning and suffocating smoke. Blood leaking from trees and raining from poisonous clouds. Terrified bawling, screams of rage, maniacal laughter … bodies of Pokemon strewn about the forest floor and left to bleed to death. Anything but this peaceful façade._

_Because it forced him to endure all the pain alone._

_The steady streams of tears dripped into his gasping mouth. Sweat plastered his hair to his head and neck._

_Another roar, octaves deeper and miles closer than the first, shattered the forest calm. His heart screamed silently, echoing the audible sounds of surprised birds as they rapidly took to the air. He envied them._

_He heard the crashing of undergrowth. The heavy breathing of something in pursuit. The snap of some unlucky sapling. The thud-thud-thud of impending doom._

_He was a dead man._

_His nerves shrieked as a dark shape burst out—_

—of the grass beside him. Startled, he yelled in terror and swiveled toward it, only to crash face-first on the rocky path. The resultant searing pain made him gasp, but he nevertheless forced himself to get on his hands and knees, looking warily about for the stranger.

"Ta!"

The purple rat squeaked in surprise, confused at this unexpected development. Deciding that this strange human might be more troublesome to scavenge from than was convenient, it executed a hasty about-face, scampering back off into the grass.

With a shuddering sigh, the miner crumpled with exhaustion there at the edge of the path, sinking mercifully into unconsciousness.

Far behind him, the watch glinted dully in the light of the sinking sun.

* * *

Frosti wasn't sure what to think.

He'd _thought_ he knew what evolution did by now. It put you through the worst pain imaginable, wringing screams out of all but the strongest Pokemon, and left you with a body that was difficult to control physically and mentally. It twisted bones, boiled blood, burned skin … and then there were the accidents, a million times worse: ribs slicing through a heart that expanded too fast; eyeballs speared with ingrown horns; limbs twisting the wrong way until they had virtually tied themselves into knots. It was the thing to be truly feared, alongside the news of his Beast.

And yet Peach had not only endured it, but welcomed it.

She was riding on Lightning's shoulder as usual, nose twitching at the many scents she had not noticed before. Her size had barely changed, but even on that usual perch, she already looked more mature and alive; her eyes seemed to sparkle with a brand new light. His mouth twisted into a frown. When was the last time he'd ridden on Leaf's shoulder like that?

When was the last time he'd been _happy_ like that?

Surely he'd been happy once. Now all he could think about was his impending fall at the claws of his Beast, which he imagined to be a formless liquid shadow which peered out from his eyes at the world he saw. He shuddered again.

_How can I possibly hope to fix this?_

Something crashed in the undergrowth nearby. Startled, he whirled towards the source, only to be knocked down by a feathery orange-and-yellow figure. He winced as he landed on his tail, feeling the small, jagged rocks of the trail pierce his scales slightly. Rubbing the injury, he glared after the feathery Pokemon, who hadn't even noticed he was there, but continued to run on stick-thin gray legs.

"What …?" Leaf asked, blinking at the sudden appearance.

"_It's a_ Pokemon, _Naaaarrrrrrrgh. What'd you expect, the Spanish Inquisition? Combusken, the Foul Young Pokemon. Gender is Female, even though it's a cock. Height is Barnyard Freak ON STEROIDS, Weight is Bird That Doesn't Eat Like A Bird. Combusken don't live in Kanto, so this is probably a result of your brain on drugs. Then again, there_ was _that idiot Swampert you caught in Pallet Town, thank Arceus you gave him back to the emo nerd. Or maybe this chick escaped from slaughterhouse five? That_ would _sorta explain the knives she's got. I dunno, I just work here."_

Indeed, the belt looped over Combusken's shoulder was positively glowing with the light reflected off of sharp metal. The blades paled in comparison, however, to the long, lethal-looking claws on her arm-like wings, sharpened to deadly points. Those details seemed to be the only reason to avoid her, though: her small beak was opened in gasping breaths, and her orange eyes were wide with fear.

Something whistled ominously behind the group. More out of instinct than anything else, Cheri and the humans managed to duck only just in time: something shadowy, with a vague lizard-like shape, whooshed over their heads, soaring through the air with breakneck speed toward the Combusken. The chicken glanced over her shoulder, squawked, and tried to duck as well, but the shadow merely altered its course, diving down towards her.

Right before impact, the shadow abruptly solidified into its true form: a lanky green lizard with thin, spidery limbs. Three long, blade-like leaves sprouted from each wrist; twin leaves took the place of tails; a single leaf as long as his entire body fluttered behind him like a thin banner. He slammed into the chicken with surprising force; crying out in pain, she lashed out at him with her claws, but he blocked them easily with his wrist-leaves, which were glowing a strange pale green color.

In sharp contrast to the astonished humans, Cheri only nodded in realization. "That's him," she muttered, mostly to herself. "The one who was following us earlier." She folded her spindly arms as she watched the scene unfold before her.

"_Yeah, but you do know you could've asked me to begin with. So your 'shrewdness' doesn't really impress anyone, buggie. Grovyle, the KILL IT WITH FIRE Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Spider Freak, Weight is How Does It Manage Not To Get Blown Away All The Time? Once again, we see a thingie that doesn't live in Kanto. You know what? We probably just got teleported to the Safari Zone without knowing it. Or even to Hoenn. Blame that bloody Abra. As for the thingie itself, Grovyle are weird little thingies that leap around from tree to tree all the time. Even if there are no trees around. Chalk that up to its ninja-type skills, I guess, because only a ninja could find a tree in the desert. Assuming it hasn't been burned to a crisp by the stupid sun, obviously."_

Nobody was listening to it, of course: the ongoing clash between glowing wrist-leaves and slashing claws had captivated their attention.

Frosti still sat where he had landed, merely watching as the Combusken managed to get in a lucky swipe, slicing off one of the Grovyle's wrist-leaves. The forest lizard's reaction was immediate: with a furious hiss he had pushed himself hard off of the ground, slamming into the hapless chicken while surrounded by streaks of white light, before the leaf had hit the ground. The sheer force of his Aerial Ace resulted in a good-sized dent marking the spot where she had fallen; in spite of that, however, she managed to push herself up onto her feet again, raising her claws quickly to block another onslaught.

And Frosti sat and watched.

_They are what you'll never be._

That soft whisper of doubt sent a shiver down the fire lizard's spine. He wasn't sure why the sight of these two battlers affected him as much as it did, but the horrible feeling of weakness – the sense that he would never, ever be worth being a part of a team – slowly crept over him.

"Where is he hiding?" the Grovyle asked sharply, dodging a small fireball from his opponent's beak.

She shook her feathery head, pausing for a moment to focus herself. "I've told you, Shuriken, it's not up to me."

"Not up to you? Are you kidding?" His face bore a mark of betrayed disbelief. "You have every right not to be his Pokemon. He uses you for murdering. _Murdering_, Kera! Spilling the blood of dozens of innocent civilians, and you willingly go along with that!"

"Don't call me by that name!" Combusken readied her claws for another round. "I'm not worth being an individual. He tells me so: I am nameless!"

It was his turn to shake his head. "You deserve better than that life."

_You deserve better._

The words rang in Frosti's head as he watched the fray resume without really seeing anything. Did _he_ deserve better? Of course not. He was the outsider, the failure … And yet, perhaps he did. Leaf had picked him over Peach, placing her faith in him from the first.

A faith that he would make her proud of him.

_You deserve better._

That faith was probably dead now. But perhaps he was also partly to blame. Perhaps he had … _let_ her ignore him. The other starters were familiar with his comparatively passive stance, after all, and had frequently commented on it. They had commented on _everything_. They were younger than he was, saw the world with frank appraisal, and weren't nearly as timid in making their opinions known as he would have been. What would they say now?

_You deserve better._

Perhaps that he needed to prove himself. To somehow earn back Leaf's faith in him. To be worth something.

His heartbeat slowly accelerated in anticipation of the unknown. Flares of dark blue burned behind his gaze. Muscles tensed. Claws flexed. Eyes narrowed.

_You deserve … to_ be.

He was watching through his own eyes as if from a distance: leaping up from his downed position towards the two battlers – both turned slightly toward him, then cringed in horror – was his face really so terrible? Did they think it was everything that was part of him, every thought, word and deed he had ever done? Did they understand the horror and horrified lurking beneath the twisted mask?

No. They didn't.

They thought they were better, but – his tail smashed into the Grovyle, the blue-white flames wrapped themselves around the Combusken – they were mistaken. They had no idea, _no idea,_ of the mind behind that mask. He was more than a faulty machine: he was an individual.

Somebody yelled his name. He ignored it.

The Combusken slashed at him with a claw dripping with shadows. He stared at the gash on his chest. Blood spurted from it, and he blinked vaguely. Disconnected, he felt himself hurting.

His vision dissolved into haziness. He felt himself collapse in a pile as the pain – pain he was numbed to, and yet felt so clearly – drove him to the ground.

His mouth was open in a scream that everyone but he could hear.

_I am brave. I am strong. I am worthy._

A dagger of pure pain stabbed the back of his head, and he felt his vocal chords vibrate in a silent howl.

_I deserve better._

Something snapped, and it all went black.


	28. Awake

And I actually got around to writing a new chapter for the first time in months. Hooray!

Le warning: some events in this chapter might be considered a little ... creepy.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Awake (Remembrance of the Heart and Mind!)

All was darkness.

...

...

...

Whispers … whispers in the gloom.

_They hate me they hate me they all hate me I will kill them they hate me they hate me_

Wondering how to live again. Wondering why bother. Useless, forgotten.

_They hate me I will destroy them their flesh will feed my fire because they hate me_

Whispers … familiar resonance, tone carrying through memory. Hateful hissing. Own voice, other throat.

_No one will miss them they hate me I hate them the world hates them the angels hate them no one will mind if they are slaughtered_

So easy to lay dormant … turn away from everything … sleep.

So easy.

_So close so close so close so close everything is mine life and blood and muscle all mine everything is mine is mine is mine_

Flash of sound, shines like sunlight, coming and going:

"_Frosti … Frosti, please, p-please wake up …"_

Darkness again, silent confusion. Whispers again.

_Liar liar liar burn in hell liar liar burn in hell liars will burn suffer at Master's feet you will suffer liar_

Dawning realization in midst of whispers. Thinking, thinking.

… _She'd miss me._

_No they hate me they hate me burn in hell_

Flashes of memory, brief and light, laughter, tears, sorrow, joy, life.

Love.

It all … it all means something.

_THEY DO NOT DESERVE THEIR BLOOD_

Surge of willpower, sudden and glorious. _No. Blood is life!_

Silence. Sensation of, taste of something … pleasant. Freedom?

Rumbling snarl out of the darkness. Flare of defiance. Snarl quiets, suddenly cut off.

_You will not bother me again. _Bravery, noncompliance. Self stirs, gathering resolve. _They don't deserve you, and you don't deserve them. You've tormented me long enough._

Moment of calm, before sudden, piercing , discordant shriek is unleashed.

_I don't know if I'm strong enough for out there, but … _Voice carries over the other noise, refusing to be drowned out. Knowledge of worth is strength, bolstering his soul. _But I'm strong enough in here. And for me, that's all that matters … that I don't lose myself to you and your nothingness._

_You will _not _overpower me, Beast._

And suddenly he moves up, or forward, or outside, or more directions than he cares to count, and the primal yowl follows him in vain as he leaves its foul source behind once and for all and moves into a blackness far less dark than what he has left.

And everything is right for the moment as he begins to remember himself again.

* * *

Frosti knew what the room was like before opening his eyes. There was the soothing touch of warm sunlight on his body, illuminating his eyelids like fire. He shifted slightly at the slightly scratchy blanket irritating his back, and a pillow that felt strange beneath his head. A faint _drip, drip, drip _of water against porcelain gave rhythm to the silence. His nostrils flared at the tantalizing scent of something fruity, masking the musky odor of fur and the bitter smell of an unfamiliar herb. He'd never really appreciated the sense of smell before. It was nice, he decided. Really nice.

Very slowly, he eased his heavy eyelids open.

Cheri stood above him, gazing down. Vaguely surprised, he wondered for a moment why he couldn't catch a scent from her. He watched, as if from a distance, as she lifted her stingers, then brought them down swiftly towards him, feeling no shock or terror, knowing that whatever he'd done, he'd deserved it and would take the blame accordingly. If redemption meant his last heartbeat, he would take it without a fight.

He had defeated the monster, he knew, quietly watching those spears descend. And that was enough.

Cheri's wiry arms swooped over his body, hooked around his head, and swiftly pulled herself towards him in a crushing hug.

The room lurched upwards, making him suddenly aware of how lightheaded he felt – but compared to the sudden glowing sensation in his chest, it was nothing at all. He opened his mouth, trying to voice his surprise, but to no avail; he could only stare wide-eyed at the ceiling, forgetting to breathe for several moments as the insect's arms constricted tightly around his chest, as if she had vowed to never let go.

It was only when he painstakingly reached up to return her embrace that he realized they were both trembling.

Closing his eyes to alleviate the stinging, he held onto his friend as if she were the only other Pokemon left in the world.

"If you only ever remember one thing, Frosti," Cheri stated, with just a hint of unsteadiness in her voice, "let it be the fact that I am proud of you."

It was then that Frost realized he couldn't hold back the sobs of relief anymore.

* * *

"_It was the Twins," _Fystor said flatly, voice sounding mechanical through the Pokedex's speakers. _"Only they could've pulled something like this in the nick of time."_

Leaf stared at the machine's blank screen, a square of black in the growing darkness. The old couch beneath her groaned quietly in protest as she shifted slightly, trying not to dislodge a sleeping Lightning's head from her shoulder. Peach, curled up in her trainer's lap, twitched a long ear, but otherwise the two of them remained fast asleep. "But how would that work?" the girl asked softly, rubbing her foot to prevent it from falling asleep.

"_You said you were talking to him while he was thrashing around like a Scyther seeing red, right? Nothing happens, nothing happens, nothing happens, he obviously can't hear you. Say something super tender that could only come from your heart, and BAM! He stops moving, just like that. Since he couldn't hear you before, something must have changed for that brief space of time in order for him to calm down and overcome the Beast. Hence the Twins."_

"Okay, all right," the girl agreed, stifling a yawn. "You didn't have to make it all expository."

"_Whatever. Cheri still keeping an eye on him?"_

"You'd better believe it. I don't think she's slept at all since he almost snapped the other day." Her eyes roved upwards to the door across the room, still shut tight. "If she's still up by tomorrow morning, I'm going to shove her back in her Ball and stand watch myself. How the hell can she even manage it, anyway?"

"_Because friends care about each other, no matter how fricking cliché that sounds."_

"_It _is _cliché. Who are you talking to anyway?"_

"_Allies. Now get back on patrol, Rinka."_

"_But Wes and Rui are our allies. Or … not? Fystor, can you stop doing that thing where you hit your face? It makes me feel weirdly uncomfortable."_

"_I can do 'that thing where I hit my face' if I want," _Fystor retorted, causing Leaf to sweatdrop. _"Just let me wrap this up. Now look, Leaf, I know you're nervous about Frosti, unless you've been lying to me for whatever reason and turning into an even bigger asshole in the meantime. But the fact is he's just recovering, not going crazy or dropping into a coma or whatever. He heard you in his subconscious, and he'll probably remember what you said. He's got a fairly good memory, really. Unlike _some _buggers …"_

"What the hell?" Leaf blurted, flushing for an audience of zero. "I said I was sorry, okay?"

"_Doesn't change the fact that asking Bill about where the Shadows are didn't even cross your mind. You're lucky I'm smarter than you. You remember where I told you he told me the Rockets told each other about where they'd be?"_

"… I wrote them down," she said, slightly dizzy after the unexpected, convoluted rhyming.

"_Good. Now look, I'm going to have to go soon, Rinka's starting to get overly nervous and Rui wants to use the Snag Machine's batteries, for whatever ungodly reason. So please, for the love of everything that's holy, try and stay out of trouble for_ more _than a day for once. Kanto's a freaking wacky region, but Orre's the one with guerilla squads all over the place, so I need to stick around over here to keep bombs from evaporating these buggers. Plus I need to train Rinka, the poor thing has no clue how to be an angel."_

"_I do too, it's not like it's hard or anything. Really, if you want to know how to be an angel, just be born an angel, ta-da, problem solved."_

"_Thank you for the literal-mindedness. Eh, see you later, Leaf. Try not to die."_

There was a click, and the Pokedex was silent. For once.

Leaf set it down, letting her anxious thoughts gradually settle. _He'll be okay, _she assured herself. _He'll be okay, damn it, he _has_ to be okay, Fystor said so._ She slumped back a little, willing herself to relax. _And I'll have to pay attention to him more. Or else … _She shuddered at the memory of Frosti's nightmarishly contorted face, fangs dripping with spittle and flame. _Or else it might get even worse._

The sight of Frosti the previous day, bright eyes twinkling with sadness during training, flitted across her mind. She shivered and hugged herself against a brief, inexplicable chill, wishing that Frosti were awake so she could scoop him up and hold him tight, regardless of what had happened.

_If he can forgive me,_ she reminded herself, an ache of sadness burning in her chest.

With a small sigh, she closed her eyes and sank into a world of uneasy dreaming.

* * *

"The Day Care?" Frosti repeated, wrinkling his brow in a slight frown.

Cheri nodded, her antennae bobbing slightly. "We were rather lucky, I believe … I doubt we could have reached Cerulean or Saffron City in time. But the humans who run this place were kind enough to take us in. They seem to have an aptitude for healing as well as breeding, though of course not as extensively as Nurse Joy … still, they have done quite a job in restoring your health."

"And how," an unexpected voice agreed, making Frosti stiffen in surprise. "You're pretty lucky I'm a Pokemon, _Frosti_, or otherwise I'd sue you. But I can still punch your ugly face."

Swiveling his head towards the speaker, his eyes widened slightly at the sight of none other than Abigail. The Abra was leaning back in a decrepit-looking chair, covered in multiple bandages from head to toe. She peered at him past her upturned nose, giving him the uncomfortable sensation of being looked down on.

The briefest stirrings of anger sparked in Frosti's stomach. Then he remembered staring down at her charred body, and a sense of uneasy guilt took its place.

"I'll never forgive you," she was saying, her green eyes narrowing malevolently. "Such an uncontrollable thing. Stupid Grovyle was lucky, only some broken ribs—"

"I'm sorry."

She blinked twice, mouth still open in surprise. "Uh … what was that again?"

"I'm sorry," Frosti repeated, a little in awe at himself. "I really mean it. I mean, it's not like you weren't being a complete jerk, but … but I really shouldn't have gone so far." He glanced instinctively at Cheri, who was still looking inordinately proud of him. "I was having a hard time, but you probably won't think that's a good excuse so … I'm sorry."

Silence. She stared at him, eyebrow raised as if examining him for the first time. He stared right back, well aware that she probably wouldn't think much of it – but it wasn't as if he could've ignored it.

"Well," Abigail said at length, still looking rather taken aback, "that's, uh, very gracious of you. I'm surprised, lizard; that's more in depth than I would've expected of you … but it still hurt like hell, so I'm only going to forgive you because of that Beast problem. And not very much at that."

"Okay—" He blinked, repeating her words in her head. "Wait … how do you know about Beasts?"

She rolled her eyes. "All psychics can sense Beasts a little. Internal darkness thing, duh. And yours was half awake, so _obviously_ I was going to notice it going all pseudo-crazy in your psyche or whatever. That was pretty freaking scary, actually. Which is why I really got scared in the first place, you dumb muscle, not because of your mouth twisting around or your face turning into a demon or anything like that! Seriously! … Fighters don't have to deal with that, though, lucky bastards …" Trailing off, she glared down at her clenched fists, then relaxed her stare and idly examined her fingernails. "So that's that. I guess this is the part where I say congratulations, lizard."

Frosti tilted his head slightly in confusion. "Congratulations for what? Locking my Beast up?"

"Well, that too, I suppose … not exactly an easy thing to do, or so I heard. But I meant your other change."

"… Other … change?"

She raised an eyebrow, and though she didn't look up at him, her eyes twinkled with sudden amusement. "You haven't noticed yet? Ha, I should've figured you wouldn't. All hugging your Beedrill friend and whatever … dramatic stupidity, I guess that's why. Probably got a bump on your head." She snickered to herself, as if she had just something clever and funny.

Scowling slightly, he turned to Cheri for support, and was surprised to see her eyes filled with sudden worry. "What?" he asked, quickly growing nervous. Bringing a paw up towards his head instinctively, he watched his friend's eyes grow a little wide. "I didn't really fall on my head, did I? If I had, wouldn't I be—?"

His claws brushed the back of his head, and he froze in shock.

Very lightly, he pinched the horn growing there, as if uncertain if he were dreaming.

He stared down at his body for the first time, realizing that his once-orange scales were now a deep, vibrant crimson.

_Dear Arceus …_

* * *

"You fainted, didn't you."

Roark didn't reply, opting instead to keep his tired gaze fixed on the huge, craggy shape looming up ahead, inching just a little closer with every step he took. Rock Tunnel – Kanto's most extensive tunnel network, stretching further underground than most spelunkers would care to explore. It was safety, tantalizingly out of reach.

Evening was drawing to a close; the setting sun cast long, thin shadows ahead of them, stretching for several yards over the tough earth. The plants were greener here, and more abundant: the grass grew somewhat thicker and taller, the trees spaced apart slightly closer. Most likely there was an underground spring near the Tunnel, preventing the area from shriveling into a dry wasteland.

"You know how I know? You've got dust all down your front, which is pretty fricking hilarious by the way. Plus your arm's all bruised, so you either fell on it or you punched out an eldritch abomination. Which would make a damn good story. Hm. 'You will not devour my sanity!' the redheaded Yoda exclaimed heroically, and without further ado smashed his fist into the tentacle-y face of Arrrggmaneater. And it died, and the world was saved, except for the hero because his arm fell off. So he died. The end. Damn, how long have we been walking?"

Still he didn't answer, focusing his energy on keeping up his tired walk, shakily inhaling and exhaling warm, dusty air. They needed to keep moving. They couldn't slow down or stop no matter how long the blistering day had felt, not when they were so close to a safe haven, where they could get their backs to a wall and pretend the things lurking in shadows were the only monsters.

Overhead, a lone Murkrow flitted across the sky, its harsh caw creating _a harsh sound of something breaking, bending, twisting—_

_Something hard as iron knocked against his back, sending him falling forwards and skidding across the ground, hitting the scratchy undergrowth, the jutting branches cutting into his skin, drawing blood that ran as freely as the sweat—_

_Low, monstrous breathing rasped above him, washing him in hot air as he curled up, shuddering uncontrollably, well aware that he would die, right here, right now, and his body shook with hitching breaths as if it knew instinctively it would never move again after this—_

"_Get up."_

_He remained there on the ground, waiting for it to be over and done with and dreading the moment the blow came and wishing none of this had ever happened, that this was all a horrific nightmare—_

"_You have to get up."_

_He barely heard the deep, gruff words. Choking sobs rattled in his throat._

_There was an impatient, gusty sigh. "Take this," the voice stated, and something dropped onto the grass with a light thump. "You'll need it wherever you're going. Don't worry, there's not a tracking device in it or anything. Look … you have to go. We're not … I'm not sure how this is going to play out. But you need to get as far from here as you can. I'll tell him I lost you. Don't tell me where you're going, just go."_

_The words echoed vaguely in his wildly terrified mind. They would remain meaningless for a good while._

_Something metallic nudged him gently. "Good luck," the voice rumbled, sounding rueful. "Wish I could keep in touch."_

_And its owner turned and resumed its crashing through the forest, chasing imaginary prey._

_A full hour passed, quiet horror still numbing him to the uncomfortable position, that he squinted through lashes clumped with blood and sweat and tears, staring at the small dark pack Bastiodon had left behind—_

—at his feet. He blinked at it in confusion for a moment, before glancing up at Anni, who was smirking at him.

"You're a riot," he remarked dryly, leaning down and grabbing the pack again. "Calm down, we're almost there."

"You said that six hours ago," she muttered darkly.

"I could've recalled you if you asked, you know."

The Cranidos snorted, folding her arms at him. "What, and let you bash your head against a rock or something? Yes, I _know_ there's a helmet there, I'm not fricking blind."

He only gave a tired sigh in response, and with that they resumed their trek towards safety, silently pondering their hidden thoughts once again.

* * *

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid …"

The evening sun had long since fallen, throwing the streets of Cerulean into shadow, when a lean woman, half staggering from exhaustion, paused on the sidewalk to peer at a shabby-looking building. Her eyes narrowed in thought, and she stared at it for a good minute or so before finally shrugging and approaching it. She brought her fist down sharply against the peeling door, once, twice, three times, before slumping against the doorframe, mumbling curses.

There was a muffled, arrhythmic thumping from within, and after several moments the door slowly squeaked open. On the threshold, still holding the doorknob, stood a slouching human body that might have been alive and well once, if the unnatural level of paleness and bagginess of its skin was anything to go by.

"About time," it grumbled.

The woman seemed to relax. "Finally."

"Couldn't even find them?" the body asked, tilting its head a little to the side in an animalistic manner.

"Nice to see you too, Drone." Golden eyes ran up and down the length of the figure. "Got yourself a new victim already, then?"

"The last one had leukemia." One colorless lip twitched in disgust. "Wasn't worth the blood, and at the risk of making a horrible pun, it sucked. But that's not the point. What took you so long?"

"Run-in with Mom," the woman muttered darkly. "Almost got to the kids when she found me out, and then she went wreaking havoc on my aura. It's like being dead, only worse."

"You should have brought us," the body said, ignoring the jibe. "We might have been there to finish them off."

She rolled her eyes. "Look, it's not like Mom should've been there. If she hadn't played the god in the fricking machine, I could've just wiped them out with a snap of the fingers. Come on, Drone, who do you think would've won in 'angel versus two kids and their runts'? And besides, two and a half extra mortal Pokemon aren't going to be much use against a bona fide _legendary_."

"Better than being with Nan for five days straight."

The woman blanched. "Ah, forgot about that."

"Thanks so much." The body half-turned, stepping out of the way. "But hurry up, come in already."

"Whatever." She brushed past it, reaching out to idly pat the small, furry body attached to the back of its neck.

Inside, as the door was pushed closed again, Vember spent about half a second letting her eyes adjust to the glow of the wall lanterns and her nose to the stenches of sweat and cheap cocaine, before striding down the hall, her soft footsteps inaudible beneath the stomps of the body behind her. There was no front desk or lobby, simply a passage lined with doors and lanterns and ancient, powdery paint. She still refused to call it a hotel, no matter how convenient the free and anonymous the stay was.

Moving through the shadowy space, she felt no change in tension at all. Finally she was hidden once again from her mother's stupid allies, able to finally get a good night's sleep and even complete aura recovery, but …

Well, sometimes "with friends like these" just doesn't cover it.

Something thumped behind a door a short way ahead. As they passed it, Vember thought she noticed a dark stain begin to trickle out from the crack underneath.

"Nan used a couple of guests while you were gone," the body stated, with just a hint of revulsion in its otherwise flat voice.

She snorted in distaste. "Like that's anything new."

"One of them was that stupid leukemia body, though. Wasn't really sad to see _that_ one go. Lecter and Bernie were making fun of me again."

"They've been making fun of you since the first time you were all let out of your Poke Balls at the same time."

"Doesn't mean I like it."

"Suck it up, it's what you're best at."

They reached a narrow, rickety stairway at the end of the hall, leading up into a gloom that remained impenetrable even as Vember instinctively attempted to read aura for the umpteenth time. Mumbling another curse at her failure, she began to climb, not touching the handrail. Previously, her aura sight had told her it looked almost as bad as the Salamence Nan had "played" with a couple of months ago.

"Apollo's pissed," the body commented offhandedly from behind.

"Apollo's _always_ pissed."

"More so than usual. He found another angel while you were gone and incapacitated him, and while his back was turned Nan decided to … well … she _probably _hasn't killed him yet."

"Very mature of her," the angel remarked dryly, stepping out onto the equally dark landing and stopping just in front of where she remembered the door would be. It helped that there was a sick gurgling.

"Indeed."

The second floor of the building that was clearly not a hotel seemed to pride itself in having superior accommodations for superior guests, in a similar vein to anything that has to do with money. While the floor below contained over thirty tiny rooms, this floor used the same amount of area to form one single room. As there was never any payment, the lodgings were typically decided by mindless brawling with the second floor's current occupants, leading to tougher and tougher guys living there for longer and longer periods of time. Until, of course, the toughest ones were outsmarted by some weedy kid or scientist down on his luck, at which point the general period of tenancy abruptly shrank again.

The last occupants had consisted of approximately twenty tattooed, muscular, gang-raised, prison-hardened thugs. They hadn't stood a chance.

Vember had barely raised her hand when the doorknob turned, seemingly on its own. "Oh," a serene voice stated, somewhat muffled behind the door. "I was wondering when you'd make your way back, Vember lovely. Let me get the door for you, won't you? You must be so tired …"

And it swung open on squealing hinges, revealing the room within.

Now that it was too dark for the sun to cast its rays through a small window set in the wall, the only source of light was the dim bare light bulb hanging from the cracked ceiling. Aside from a table and decent-sized bed, the room, was completely devoid of furniture, leaving much of the grimy, dusty floor exposed. A terrible stench ravaged Vember's nostrils, and as usual she forced herself not to heave.

There were three and a half people in the room.

"Damn it, Vember!" growled a muscular man, his sudden curse causing the other man sitting at the table to glance at him a bit nervously. "You can't just screw around like whatever the hell you've been doing! We can_not_ waste time while the enemies might still throw a wrench into Lord Apolydon's plans—"

"Shut your piehole, Apollo." Fury flashed in her silvery eyes; she did _not_ want to deal with this right now. "You have _no_ idea what I've been through—"

"Like hell I don't! You were probably off blowing our funds on Pac-man or something!" Sweat gleamed faintly in his bright orange buzz cut. "What other excuse would there be, you little mink?"

"M-minx," the slender young man beside him corrected quietly.

"Shut the hell up, Lotus!"

"Oh, I don't know," the Fystor snapped sarcastically, "maybe I got _this close_ to finishing the fricking brats off, only for dear old _Mom_ to swoop out of nowhere and save the day, forcing me to wander the stupid fricking city for _days_ looking for you bastards! Maybe I _haven't_ been just sitting around twiddling my thumbs, you ever think of that? Huh? Did you?"

"Would you mind raising your voices a little?" the serene voice called from the bed. "It may help our guest fall into hallucinations faster."

At the sound of the voice, Vember's eyes involuntarily flickered over to where an angel sat cross-legged, long hair the color of cherry blossoms draping over her shoulders. The angel was hunching forward attentively towards the pitiful shape curled up before her, probably another angel, whose hair might have been emerald green before being soaked in blood. Flecks of blood were splattered across the female angel's body, but there was nevertheless a calm smile on her face as she kept the male's violently jerking pinned down with one hand, moving a finger on the other quickly up and down within his bloodstained mouth.

There were odd little dark lumps scattered across the blanket beneath them, and Vember's revulsion tripled when she realized that the small white thing sticking out from each one was a tooth.

"Vember lovely!" The tormentor tossed her head back to flash the Fystor that peaceful smile, never slowing that nauseating sawing movement. "I'm so delighted to see you."

"Likewise, Nan."

It seemed that the pink-haired woman was utterly unaware of the definition of sarcasm, for she turned back to her gory work, still smiling. "Apollo dear found this guest of ours a while ago. He's very fun."

"He's mine to deal with," Apollo grumbled, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the warped tabletop.

"It's not nice not to share, Apollo dear," Nan replied airily. "How have you been, Vember lovely? I couldn't find any indication that you had hallucinated. It saddened me a little."

"I … I'm sure it did," Vember half choked.

"But I suppose it's all right," Nan went on a little more cheerily, as though she had merely discovered a new favorite color. "Our guest here works just as well. He told me his name, it's Drew, isn't that nice? He won't tell me his species, though. And he hasn't completely cracked yet, which bothers me … just a little … but his mouth looks very nice when it's full of blood. Very pretty. That may need to do …"

"Whaugh?" Drew gurgled, blood bubbling up between his lips and around her finger. "Whaa-aaugh?"

"Why?" Nan repeated, gazing serenely down at him. "I already told you, Drew sweetheart. But maybe you've forgotten already in all the fun … dreams are wonderful things, you know. Showing what the mind can conjure: visions and scenes beyond the lucid imagination … but dreams can make them muddled, distorted. It would be so much nicer if they could be experienced while awake, wouldn't it?" Her smile broadened a little, twinkling blue eyes gazing down into emerald ones crusted with dried tears. "It's these games we play, Drew sweetheart. Oh, it might sting just a little, but …"

She jabbed particularly hard, and a bloodcurdling shriek pierced the room.

"… the sweet, sweet, hallucinations are worth it."

Still smiling, she retracted both hands from him, raising them above her head, not seeming to care that one was dripping stringy blood and saliva; her body abruptly exploded with light, concealing her form as it began to shift, stretch, expand into something inhuman. When the light had finally dimmed, Vember squinted her watering eyes at what had taken the place of a human shape.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star," the blue swan trilled lightly, spreading pale pink wings the shape of rings. "Won't you tell me what you are?"

Perhaps this sudden change was the last straw for the hapless victim's sanity, for at this point he began to writhe uncontrollably, presumably kept in place only by some sort of psychic hold. The room was suddenly filled with a sickening sound that the human throat was not meant to produce, vibrating the floor and the window with the resonance of growing madness.

Lotus swallowed hard, moving trembling fingers to produce a pack of cards. "Um, p-poker a-anyone?" he asked, barely heard over the noise.

"You kidding?" Apollo hollered back, tossing everyone a pair of earplugs, seemingly from nowhere. "We can't play if we can't hear, pal!"

Vember shrugged. "Might as well try," she shouted, managing to rip her eyes from the grisly scene.

Glancing amongst each other, the other three shrugged as well, then hastily stuffed their ears. The plugs couldn't block out all of the noise, but it helped. It really, really helped.

She turned to pull up a couple of chairs for herself and the body beside her, while Lotus began to shuffle cards, dropping several as his hands shook. The body's mouth twitched sardonically.

And all the while their guest continued to scream and scream and scream under a blissful smile.

* * *

Cobalt's eyes flew open at the sound of a distorted feminine voice, cool and mechanical. His head throbbed at the harsh sound.

"Mister Cobalt, the Boss requests your presence immediately."


	29. Watermeleon

Not to be a total attention whore or anything, but if you're reading this I really would appreciate any feedback you have to offer. Even if you think this fic's boring, I'd like to know why.

Yes, I meant to spell the chapter title that way.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Watermeleon (Some Type of Revelation! Frosti's Decision!)

He stared at the occupied Poke Ball in his hand, ignoring the first falling wet drops as they splattered against his spiked hair.

The Pokemon inside was blue. It had to be blue, he'd seen it with his own eyes, and it was the most beautiful color he had ever seen. He liked blue, it came with his name. It came with the Pokemon, too, such a pretty Pokemon so blue, so wonderfully blue. He liked the Pokemon. He liked it very much. Only a stupid, selfish person would be so cruel and heartless as to give it up. But he wouldn't. He would cherish it forever, give it a special place in his collection and shine its Poke Ball every day until it gleamed in the light of a laughing sun.

It was blue. Blue like sapphires, more valuable and enigmatic than anything else he'd ever encounter, worth more than any foolish trader might be willing to pay. Blue like the bottomless depths of the Arctic Sea from which its relatives would crawl, and to which they would sadly return to, lost to him forever. Blue like the eyes of one of his parents before the green car had smashed them into a red brick wall that had broken like their bones, shattered like their skulls, scattering gray cement like the mush dripping from their cracked skulls and onto his brand-new tennis shoes they had bought him, the ones with Batman swooping down on them as if he could transcend dimensions and save the day.

It wasn't red. Of course it wasn't red, that was only a trick, because only a blue Pokemon could be so beautiful and desirable. Red would imply fire, something so unlike the true blue of the Pokemon, as graceful as the dancing ocean waves from which its mother had surfaced from at some point. He wouldn't have caught it if it were red, would he? It was blue, not red. If it really had been red, he would have just let it go, and continued his hunt for the blue Pokemon.

Yes, it was a beautiful, beautiful blue. So unlike the ugly red it pretended to be. Red like the color flashing before his vision, remembering someone crushing a red and white Ball that looked all too similar to a pair of red and white ribcages glistening with blood and acid and shards of glass and metal who knew what else as he stared into the faces with the broken frozen grins for a while until the pain kicked in and he screamed and screamed until his throat burned and his voice died and there was no longer any way for his pain to express itself. No, of course it wasn't red. It couldn't be red. It wasn't red, no matter what it appeared to be. It wasn't red. It wasn't red. It wasn't red.

It was red.

"How could you," he whispered.

He dropped the Poke Ball and crushed it beneath his foot, and a smile twitched across his face as a red mist wafted from its shards and turned to blue before dissipating in the oncoming rain.

* * *

"You may all be unintelligent," Maggie remarked, skipping from puddle to puddle like a Mantine, "but at least you can appreciate decent weather when you see it."

Early that morning, Lightning had decided to actually practice for the upcoming Contest in Saffron City, and had gone outside so as not to make a horrible mess of the nice Day Care couple's lobby. Peter had been understandably anxious about this, until Lightning assured him that Cheri was still occupied with keeping an eye on Frosti, so the Butterfree quickly became just as excited about it as his fellow Pokemon. Most of them, anyway, though by the time the clouds had rolled in and unleashed their much-welcomed rain, even Maggie had to enjoy it a little.

And now Leaf and Lightning sat on the steps of a small, plain pagoda situated not far from the Day Care's breeding pen, half listening to the insistent tapping of water striking the wooden roof above their heads. Leaf hadn't particularly wanted to come, but Lightning had pointed out that it'd do her no good moping about on the couch while waiting for Frosti to recover, so she had allowed herself to be dragged outside, watching Lightning's Pokemon take turns practicing possible appeals in the rain.

"Nice job, Maggie!" Lightning called encouragingly, unaware that she had practically called him an idiot. "Try striking the water a bit harder as you go, though. Add a bit more oomph to your splash."

"'Oomph' isn't a word," the fish remarked, though she followed his advice anyway.

"'Ooomph' _is _a word, fishy foo'," Peter replied, clinging to one of the pagoda's wooden columns as he nervously glanced around, half expecting Cheri to pop out of nowhere and smash his brains out. "It's dat word ya say when ya finally get ya sexy girlfriend ta come ta ya tree an' tie her up in String Shots an'—"

"Hey, Leaf!" a voice exclaimed excitedly. Turning a little from Maggie's splashing around, the girl found that Parvati had padded back up to her side, beaming proudly around some objects in her mouth. Her fur was completely drenched, with water dripping from her whiskers and tail, yet she still looked as perky as ever, her black ears standing at attention.

Not for the first time, Leaf wondered if Frosti could have ever acted like that if given the chance.

"Ptttooey!" The Meowth spat the things she carried onto the pagoda floor, licking her chops for a moment to clear it of the taste. "I found more stuff, Leaf! All over the place, I found them all by myself!" She beamed up at her trainer, the coin on her forehead gleaming.

Leaf forced herself to fake a smile. "Nice job, Parvati, nice job," she said, ruffling the cat's ears.

She waited until the cat had turned and bounded into the rain again before tossing the dirty junk items onto the pile that had been steadily increasing since they'd come outside.

Lightning glanced at the pile. "You _sure_ you don't want any—"

"I already said yes, Lightning." She rolled her eyes. "It's not like she picked up some magical thing that'll actually be useful, like a Poke Ball some idiot dropped or whatever."

"… Okay, if you're sure," he said, reaching out with one hand to poke through the newest items. Peach, who was being patted with his other hand, glanced up for a moment to see what he was doing, before resting her head on her forepaws again, yawning in an overly cute manner.

"_So anyway," _the Pokedex piped up, annoying as usual, _"have I caught up with all the entries I should've made up yet? 'Cause you haven't done anything for, what, two entire days? Which is probably a record for not getting blown up, by the way, and I think my CPU is probably going to explode from boredom instead. So give me something to do, or else I'll radiate you all to death."_

"Shut up, Pokedex."

"_You're such a killjoy, Naaaarrrrrrrgh. Come on, at least let me give that lizard's new entry—"_

"I already said no."

"_Yeah, but who gives a damn about respect, anyway? Especially behind peoples' backs. Why would you do that, when you can just shoot them in the back and laugh at them when they start doing that twitchy dance thing like in that one music video? Seriously. Look, I'm going to give it, I'm sick of waiting and I want to inject some conflict into this drab little life you've thrown us into, and who the hell cares about how it's more like a normal journey anyway. Charmeleon, the—"_

"Pokedex," Leaf growled, gripping the machine so hard that Lightning worried she'd snap it in two, "Frosti doesn't need to have you being an asshole about him. So you need to_ shut up_."

"_Tee hee, you're so funny when you're angry. Charmeleon, the BLOOOOODRED Pokemon. Gender is Male, duh. Height is ARRRRRGH RRAAUU—"_

Leaf smashed the mute button.

Everyone paused to stare, not quite believing that she'd actually shut the machine up. The rhythm of the rain seemed rather loud in the absence of its mechanical voice and Maggie's rhythmic splashes.

"Er … Leaf," Lightning muttered, tapping her shoulder. He pointed with an uncertain finger, then recalled a surprised Peter while Leaf turned to see what was up.

Frosti stood at her side, staring back at her.

She couldn't help but let out a gasp, jumping backwards in shock and only barely avoiding falling into the pile of Parvati's garbage collection. She hadn't expected to see him so suddenly, so alive and healthy and … Well, she'd seen him before as a Charmeleon, having evolved while thrashing about a couple of days ago. But he'd been newly changed then, bloody and mindlessly screeching. He seemed somewhat taller now that he was awake, and as she collected herself from the surprise she found she could better appreciate the differences evolution had wrought in him.

He had nearly doubled in height, easily able to gaze down on her as she sat. Orange scales had become crimson, providing a greater contrast with his pale belly. Long, gangly arms hung almost to his knees, at about the height of the tail-flame idly waving back and forth, seemingly unbothered by the moisture in the air. Thinking back to Oak's lab, when she had first chosen him as her starter, she tried to juxtapose the image of the short orange lizard with this tall red reptile, and found it difficult to visualize. _How did I miss all this potential in him? _she wondered briefly, before a Lapras swam across her mind to sweep in a wave of guilt.

When she met his black eyes, though, she couldn't find any blame lurking in them, though a bit of a hurt look flashed across his draconic face.

"… But I don't _feel_ like a monster," he mumbled as if to himself, staring at the huge claws on his hands and feet.

She blinked, wondering a little at how his voice hadn't changed at all. "… A monster?" she repeated, before realization set in and she gasped again. "Oh! No, no, Frosti, I wasn't afraid. Well, no more afraid than I'd be around any other Charmeleon. I was just, you know, a bit startled that you snuck up on me, that's all."

He shook his head. "It's all right if you are. I mean … I mean I was afraid of myself the other night, at first. Seeing myself in the mirror … it was like … like I'd let out the Beast after all."

His squinting eyes reflected the glare of the storm clouds, but not much inner light could be seen in them. Leaf's heart sank even further, an action which she had thought impossible. At her sides, her hands clenched into quivering fists without her knowing it.

"But it really is all right," he repeated, a falsely cheery tone creeping into his voice. "It's what I deserve, isn't it? So I might as well get used to it. Being a monster and all—"

"DON'T SAY THAT!"

Both of them were shocked as Leaf seized Frosti's shoulders, practically shaking him. Some part of her brain that was still rational asked timidly what she was doing. She could see his eyes widening, though whether that was from shock or fear or disbelief was a mystery. Swallowing hard, she forced herself to try and calm down, and addressed him in a slightly quieter, but no less furious voice.

"Why … why the _hell_ would you say that, Frosti?" she growled, pulling him a little closer to her. "Do you honestly look in the mirror and see a demon staring back at you? Do you think these jaws—" She took hold of his snout in one hand, less violently than her tone would suggest, and he, being surprised, only blinked in response. "—_these_ jaws would tear our throats out? Do you think these claws would rip us to bloody shreds?" She grabbed his hands this time, feeling his warm scales against each palm.

He blinked and opened his mouth, but she cut him off before he'd even begun to make a sound.

"Is all _that_ what you saw in the mirror, Frosti?" Her voice was quieter now, as sad as the light sparkling in her eyes. "Because all I see … all I see is a mouth made to smile and hands made to hold." She reached up with one hand, gently lifting the corners of his mouth into an artificial grin, while squeezing his hand with the other. They stared at each other for a few long moments, with the beating of rain filling the silence, before her gaze turned a little watery and she glanced away. "You aren't going to blame your Beast's faults on yourself. And if you're not going to stop, maybe you should ... maybe you should just leave. Call me stupid if you want, Frosti, because that's what I am. Some stupid girl with crap for brains who couldn't look past her own fricking ego until it was too late. Call me stupid, call me cruel, call me anything you want. Anything at all. But I WILL NOT tolerate you calling yourself a monster."

There. She'd said it.

She turned away then, sharply and quickly, but she was sure he had managed to catch a glimpse of the tear rolling down her face.

They were all staring at her. She knew there could be no other reason for the relative quiet, but she felt no resentment about it. Hell, embarrassment was the _least _she deserved after what she had done to him. Staring off unseeingly into the fields beyond, she drew her knees up close to her chest. And she waited for the sound of his footsteps to begin, as he would turn and walk off unflinchingly into the rain, never pausing, never looking back, never turning around for even one last look at his selfish, foolish trainer, only giving her memory a passing good riddance before his mind would be wiped clean of thoughts about her. He deserved a better trainer than her – a better _friend_ than her – and she wasn't about to stop him from getting one.

His claws clicked against the pagoda's floor. Forcing herself not to sigh, she half wished she could build up the courage to turn and watch him go. But no – she didn't deserve to see him again even once. Staring after him as he walked into the rain? Too selfish, too cliché. Let her suffer, alone in the midst of Pokemon someone else had actually truly cared for from the beginning.

She stiffened when something warm touched her shoulder.

"Why are you slouching?" Frosti's voice seemed to lilt, as if half remembering an old song he'd once heard. "Is this what you see yourself as, Leaf? Because …" His breath hitched a little, and he paused for a few seconds to control himself. "Because all I see are a pair of shoulders made to hold your head high."

Her mind felt frozen. Slowly she turned her head towards him, just enough to see him standing behind her, staring back.

"I think," he said quietly, "we both made a lot of mistakes here." His mouth twitched into a smile – a tiny smile, but genuine.

Without warning, she scooped the surprised Charmeleon up in her arms, hugging him close to her and as tightly as was humanly possible. "Frosti," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut, "I'm sorry."

She felt his warm arms return her embrace, resting his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry too."

More rain, splashing insistently against ground and grass and wood and puddles. Tears fell from her closed eyes, streaming down her face and chin; from the sniffles near her ear, it was safe to assume that Frosti was crying too.

After what seemed like hours – long, wonderful, golden hours spent simply being together – they finally broke apart, though still holding each others' shoulders, as they tentatively locked red-eyed gazes. "Forgive me?" they asked in unison, then chuckled at the moment and hugged again.

As Leaf sighed, deeply and happily, Cheri caught her eye; the Beedrill was standing out in the rain. After several seconds, the bug inclined her head forward, red eyes twinkling with something like pride.

This wasn't going to be easy, Leaf understood that. She couldn't turn into Mother Teresa overnight, anymore than Frosti would be able to completely get over his trauma within the week. Lessons would need to be learned, attention paid, questions asked and answers given, with the world still giving them hell in the form of hard travel and Shadows and psychotic angels and angst-ridden miners.

But this was a chance at a new beginning, and they were going to _take_ it, damn it.

* * *

"… I don't think I get it," Frosti remarked, slightly cross-eyed.

The group still sat in the pagoda; even though the rain had stopped a while ago, the ground was still muddy enough to punish anyone who dared to sit in it with a rather embarrassing souvenir on their rear. Leaf had scrawled several illegible letters, numbers, and other various figures into the mud with a random stick, and was currently laying out a vague plan for the rest of their journey.

The girl rolled her eyes, which were still red-rimmed from crying. "It's a vague plan for the rest of our journey," she said redundantly. "And Frosti, I haven't even explained it yet. Now listen up, all of you." She tapped the chart with the stick, narrowly avoiding transforming a one into a seven. "There's some conflict of interest going on this summer. For one, Fystor wants us to take out the Shadows. On the other hand, Lightning has this Grand Festival thing he wants to do. But most importantly, I need to qualify for the Indigo Conference by September."

"Couldn't you technically wait until the next one starts a couple months after that?" Lightning piped up.

"Well, I could, but would _you _want to wait three extra months for the Grand Festival?"

"… Not really, no—"

"And my point stands. Now, let's break this down, right?" She drew a lopsided circle around one cluster of markings that were probably supposed to mean something. "The League requires a minimum of four badges for trainers who want to be part of the Conference, so I need to get at least two more. But what I'd rather do is get even more badges than that – as many as possible, actually. We could run into more gym leaders that way, which Fystor wanted us to do. And if I get eight, then I can even challenge the Elite Four and Champion – although if I place in one of the top four spots in the Conference, I can go against them anyway."

Everyone nodded absentmindedly, just as cross-eyed as Frosti.

"Meanwhile, Lightning's Festival thing requires a minimum of five ribbons, so he needs four more. Since that's not connected with either of the other quest thingies, I think we can safely ignore that part if worst comes to worst, but knowing those Twin guys we'll _just _manage to get everything taken care of.

"As for those Shadow Pokemon, there're quite a bit more of them, so _pay attention Lightning._ According to Bill, Cipher sent eight Shadows over here. He already has the Shadow Clefairy, so now we just need to be on the lookout for an Ambiveli, Bagon, Clamperl, Kricketot, Mienfoo, Shroomish, or Zigzagoon that's acting psychotic as hell, and I don't even know what half of those are. Obviously we won't be able to have all of them on us at once, so Fystor's working on setting up a joint box account for us, that'll send Pokemon right to Bill instead of the Professor. He'll work on taking care of them, she said. Apparently he has a fricking huge dragon or something in case they decide to rip his head off.

"The Conference starts September fourteenth, a week before Autumn Equinox. But the Professor's probably going to drag me back to Pallet for when high school starts, so we really only have about …" She squinted at the chart, as if that could magically make her able to see through all the scribbles and find the answer. "Eight weeks, give or take a couple days. So I need to get one badge for every four weeks, probably more than that. Now, the Grand Festival starts on the first of October, meaning Lightning's got a lot more time to get his ribbon things if we take weekends into consideration – two weeks or so between winning each Contest should do it. As for the Shadows, Fystor said we need to snatch them _as soon as possible _to make sure Team Rocket doesn't figure out how to make even more of the buggers. Since we got split in two groups, one'll most likely be finding three while the other finds four. You and I'll probably be the ones finding the four, since Roark's probably just going to sulk around in a stupidly angsty way, which lowers the average of three and a half down to three for him. Meaning that, assuming we're going to be dragged back home for school kicking and screaming, we've got two weeks to find each Shadow, while Roark can take as long as he needs instead, even though he has less to find than we do, the lucky bastard.

"Any questions?"

"I have a question, actually," Cheri remarked, flexing a skinny arm. "What are you trying to tell us, exactly?"

Leaf facepalmed.

* * *

"Thank Arceus," Anni sighed, collapsing the second she had set foot in the cavern's shadowy interior. "Made it here before the damn rain."

Roark automatically glanced behind them, looking over the miles of nondescript land they had spent so long trekking. Although the sky was still a blindingly brilliant blue above them, it was impossible to miss the iron-gray clouds broiling over the far-off horizon. He could hear the rumbling thunder already, crackling in the air, easily heard under the harsh caw of a Murkrow. "Yeah," he agreed, shivering at the memory of a similar roar reverberating through towering trees. "Thank Arceus."

"Hey, look! A Sandshrew." The Cranidos pointed at a pangolin creature, which had just scampered out from behind a nearby boulder. "Man, you guys are so easy to beat, I hate you for it."

"Hey!" it exclaimed indignantly. It crouched for a moment against the dusty stone floor, then leapt into the air, curling into a ball as its body began to spin quickly.

Anni yawned, waiting for it to get close before lazily bouncing up a couple of inches, crashing her head into its body and sending it flying.

"H-heyyyyyyyy!" Its yelp continued to echo long after it had vanished in the tunnel's depths.

"Nice one," Roark told her, nodding.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Like I said, easy."

He shrugged, then cast his eyes towards the tunnel ceiling, noticing the several flat lights strung along, seeming to grow brighter the darker the shadows beneath them were. "They have electricity here?" he asked nobody in particular, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Interesting …"

"Sure, but knowing us we'll regret finding out what causes it." She walked a couple of feet forward, paused, then turned around to roll her eyes at him. "Well? You coming or what?"

Allowing himself a tired grin, the miner nodded again and entered into the darkness and safety of Rock Tunnel.

Outside, the storm drew ever closer over the emptiness of the plains.

* * *

Cobalt had seldom been to the Boss's video conference room before.

Not that he couldn't easily make his way there, of course. Somehow every corridor in Rocket Headquarters led to it one way or another. It was almost as if he could step into a hallway, any hallway, and hear whispers of instinct and faint memory pointing out the way. Of course, the fact that the guards standing watch outside were slightly more competent than usual wasn't a bad tipoff, either. They actually managed to jump to attention _before _he came within two yards of them.

"Name and business?" one of the guards asked, automatically reaching down to finger a Poke Ball on his belt. Well, their recognition abilities were abysmally low, Cobalt decided. Probably only good at jumping to attention. That was probably the main test to be a guard, anyway.

"Well, let's see." Cobalt tapped his chin as if trying to remember something elusive and important. "Oh, I know now. I'm obviously Arceus, here to bless the Boss and turn him into an all-powerful yet dangerously egomaniacal god-like figure who will raise Team Rocket to unlimited heights of power before inadvertently destroying it in his supernaturally-induced madness."

The guards gaped at him.

"Oh, come _on_," he snapped, not even bothering to stop himself from rolling his eyes. "Who else would wear something like this?" He pointed to the tall mass of shockingly red hair on his head, resembling on odd cross between a crescent moon and a pair of devil horns.

A guard blinked. "… Cobalt?" he tried.

"A spark of intelligence! Congratulations."

"Mister Cobalt, the Boss has been exp—…"

He brushed past them through the stainless steel door, ignoring the guard's sentence as it trailed off weakly. _Obviously _the Boss had to be expecting him. He'd summoned him right out of the hospital wing, for crying out loud.

As the door shut behind him, he simply stood there for a moment, eyes adjusting to the relative darkness. A long room stretched out before him, containing a table almost as long, its dark surface illuminated by the small, bright red lights lined up along the ceiling. A broad screen stretched across the far wall, displaying mere static; three other figures sat before it, silhouetted against the blinding mess of black and white and gray.

"Ah, Cobalt!" the Boss exclaimed, as if the admin had simply dropped by for a casual visit. "Glad you could join us! Pull up a chair, don't be shy."

Unable to come up with a good response for that, he made his way towards the light of the static, vaguely surprised when he realized that he wasn't bumping up against any chairs. Automatically he reached to the side, feeling their smooth wooden backs brush against his fingers, and realized that they hadn't simply been removed. He wasn't sure what this meant, having expected beforehand to be tripping over them comically.

"We were recently contacted by another organization," the Boss went on. "From the Sinnoh region, I believe. They seem to be relatively new, since I haven't heard of them before … Think they want to pick something up from the best, eh?"

"It's a possibility," Cobalt replied diplomatically, swallowing his sudden unease as he sat himself before the screen. One of the figures to his side snorted quietly, but was otherwise silent.

"We've been waiting a full fifteen minutes by now, but they haven't responded yet." The Boss shifted, his face covered in shadow. "And speaking of response … Severus has yet to contact us. He broke out of prison a couple days ago, you know."

Cobalt's mouth went dry. "He has?"

"Yes. And he seems to be simply going around slaughtering people, if my informants are to be believed." A shake of the head, disbelieving. "He has become a wild card. We cannot continue to rely on him if he keeps up this rampage. Cobalt, you're promoted to executive."

"I didn't …!" Cobalt blinked. He ran those words through his head, more slowly than before, and blinked again. "… Executive?" he repeated, once he had stopped gaping like an idiot fish.

"Well, of course," one of the others spoke up. "We can't be a proper trio if there isn't a Dick." His companion snickered quite audibly at this.

"That will do, Harry," the Boss stated. "Have you met these two yet, Cobalt? No? Well, these are my other two Kanto executives, Tom and Harry, whom I've also called back from their missions. After all, it is highly likely that contact with this new organization will be more important to us in the long run."

Cobalt nodded towards them thoughtlessly, for he suddenly felt as if he were no longer in the room. Instead, he stood on a warm beach of golden sand, feeling the delightfully cold ocean water lap around his bare ankles. Warm sunlight and a crooning voice permeated the clear, light air.

"_Somewhere … beyond the seeeeea, somewhere waiting for meee …"_

He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply through his nose, and sighed in contentment. When a faint noise caught his ear, though, he slowly reopened them, looking off to the side … and to his surprise and utter delight, he saw that perhaps twenty yards away was an Executive shirt, its red only broken by its black letter R and Honchkrow silhouette. Surely the most beautiful shirt in the world, he decided, and felt his heartbeat accelerate in anticipation.

"_My lover stands on golden saaaaaaaaaaands, and watches the ships – that go saiiiiiilin' …"_

The shirt was running towards him along the beach. He had no idea how the hell a shirt was able to run, and he honestly didn't care. He simply wanted to be with that gorgeous shirt! His legs seemed to notice this thought, for they soon moved almost on their own, kicking up sand and saltwater as they carried him closer to that beloved shirt.

"_Somewhere … beyond the seeeeea, she's there watchin' for meee …"_

Everything seemed to be in slow motion: himself, the shirt, the water moving beneath him … it was as if time itself refused to let them be together, purely out of spite. But he would not let the seemingly ridiculously impossible distance deter him. He had to be with his beloved, for it had not given up on him, and he was loathe to let it down.

"_If I could fly like birds on hiiiiiiigh—"_

"Cobalt."

He was so close … his panting mouth formed into a big, goofy grin …

"_Then straight to her arms – that go saiiiiii—"_

"COBALT!"

"Huh?" He jerked upright, confused at the abrupt change in environment. Why was he sitting down, and in the dark? Wasn't he on vacation with his beloved shirt?

"I am glad to see you relaxing after your latest assignment," the Boss remarked dryly, over the sound of Tom's and Harry's snickers, "but I believe we were discussing something."

"Oh." As the past few minutes rushed back to him, Cobalt was suddenly glad the darkness could cover up his flushing face. "When do I get my shirt?"

"After this conference." The Boss shifted again; the eerie light from the static showed that he seemed to be checking his likely expensive watch. "… Whenever it begins, at any rate. Rest assured you will be admitted to new quarters, where you will be able to more fully recover your injuries before your next assignment."

"Exce— …" Cobalt blinked. "Injuries? But I feel perfectly well, Boss."

"I am certain that you do. However, a report from Rocket Joy indicates that you very likely have a few minor internal injuries – nothing serious, provided you don't strain yourself for a while. You see, she determined that you were attacked by an odd combination of Stealth Rock and Pursuit, which—"

"—means you got hit with more force than you would have if the attacks had come separately," Harry finished; Cobalt shot a wary glance at the Boss, who didn't seem particularly perturbed by the fact that the words had just been taken out of his mouth. "So I would suggest you rest up, Dick, because this is where the rubber meets the road."

"Although your privileges and access of the Base will of course be expanded," the Boss added. "Not that you didn't let yourself into any wing you wanted before …"

"Excellent!" Cobalt practically gushed, still a bit lightheaded. "So does this mean I can ask why you and the Team Magma guy were playing so many rounds of checkers—?"

"No," the Boss replied, keeping his gaze fixed on the screen.

Cobalt sighed, returning his gaze to the static as it remained resolutely put. He'd wanted to know the answer to that question more than almost anything …

Though, now he had even _more_ resources to track _It_ down …

He smirked in the dark, folding his arms as if the entire world could see him. Life could only get better from here.


End file.
